Healing, Self Love & Starting Over | Carla’s Spiritual & Entrepreneurial Breakthrough

Hey, this is Alex. Welcome, welcome, welcome to everyone. I am so excited today to have a dear friend of mine. Carla Klein Thomas is here and I'm so excited to have her here. Clara, what? Clara, Clara, Clara. You know what? Carla, how are you?

I am—

You think like 10 years ago since we met, you think by now I would know how to pronounce your name.

It's okay, I go by all, I answer to anything. Yeah, no, I am so, Hi, I'm just happy to be here and excited to, to talk with, with your people today and really to help in any way I can with, with your, with your message and your mission. It's just amazing.

Thank you. Thank you. Well, we're happy to have you here. So let's get started. Why don't you tell us a little bit about where you're from, kind of what's your story, when, what do you do? Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

So I am actually from small town USA. I'm originally from a small town in West Virginia with no stop signs, no stoplights, no grocery stores. I think there was 500 people when I was there. There may be less now. Um, and so, um, but I live in Atlanta with my amazing husband. We've been here almost 20 years and, um, I love it. We love it here. Uh, it's the best of all worlds. Um, I am a mom of 3 grown children. Holy cow, an empty nester and a Gigi to 5 amazing great grandbabies. But before all of this stuff happened, um, I was a single mom for 9 years, and, um, I used to have to carry a file in the back of my car. If something happened to me, people would know that he did it because I had protective orders and ex partes and all the things that you can think of. Um, and I would move from state to state to state, and I still get chills when I talk about it, and he would follow me, right? And so, um, I did all the things I, I went to court. I wasn't afraid. I left the first time he raised his hand to me, but, um, it did not stop for 8 years. Okay.

Oh my God, Carla, that's insane.

It was really, really crazy. And, um, but I will say to you, I had a lot of choices that I had to make, and I was a different person, right? And so what I do now brings me so much joy because I work with women who are starting their spiritual journey and also their businesses. And I help them overcome this very thing, like really truly owning their worth, becoming their most authentic self, and stepping into their unique frequency and energy with joy and ease. But owning— if I can say it— your shit, right? Really just like being who you are at your core, 100%. Because if I'm being honest, whenever I married my first husband, I didn't even know how I liked my eggs or what I wanted to do with my life or who I was. I was so busy pleasing everyone else that I picked someone who made me feel exactly how I felt about myself. And so when I started personal development and really what brought me to this, you know, Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, started my journey actually. And then from there, I, I used to listen— this is how old I am, you guys— I listened to Brian Tracy's Psychology of Achievement on tape in my car. You know, I had a cassette player.

I forgot about tapes.

That's me.

And you rock, babe.

And I realized that, um, you know, I had some choices to make. And so, and everything that was happening was a result of choices I had already made. So I stopped being angry and I started like really looking at why I was ashamed for something I didn't even do, right? And so I had to let go of that shame game and move on. And I I actually— that led me to Iyanla Vanzant's book, Yesterday I Cried, and I cried for days. And I made a list of what I wanted in a human being and a partner. And I met my husband 48 hours later. And so I wanted to know, and we were friends, you know, for a little bit first, and then friends with benefits for a while. And then, you know, we've been together for 27 years.

That sounds familiar.

And I'm married for 23. And you know, it's not perfect, but he is my person. And I know that what I wrote down was not about what I needed, because I realized I had to give myself what I needed. What I wrote down was what I wanted with someone by my side. And, and that's how I ended up, you know, with him to this day. But I will tell you this, there's also some foundational work that I do with all of my new yoga teachers. Because what I found is it whether you are rebuilding your life or you are rebuilding or starting this brand new business, this breakup is not you being broken. This breakup is your breakthrough if you choose to see it that way. So everything I do is from a point of, are you ready for that breakthrough? And so I have a couple of programs. I do Yoga Business Breakthrough, and then I also have a framework called LOVE, where, uh, because I'm a self-love coach and a yoga business coach, I think the core of everything we do is loving ourselves first. And if you can't look in the mirror and say, I love you, anything that you attract after that or before you can do that is going to be from a place of lack or scarcity or even some dysfunction. And, um, I think we have to own it. And so my— the, the love framework is letting go of that shame and that, that blame game and owning your authentic energy and then valuing your true boundaries. What is it you want, right? And prioritizing your healing over anything and everyone else. And then evolving into what I call her, which is the person that you know you are meant to be and who you want to be. But you have got to fully step into your power and own your shiitake mushrooms. So, yeah, you know, that is kind of in a nutshell what I do. I, I do a lot of like, um, dabbling with some other things, but everything I do is from the soul level. Like, even my funnels I create for people is a fast launch soul funnel, because I think that if we're not feeling, then we're not actually creating from the right space, right? And so we have to feel it to heal it, and we have to really own where we are. And if you're just starting this journey, like, I, I see you, I value you, and know that like When I started this journey, I was making $600 every 2 weeks, uh, as a single mom. And I used to have to buy Freezer Queen— and again, I'm dating myself— and, um, I would— they were, I think they were 3 for $5 then, possibly. And so I would make those 3 meals into 6 meals. That's how broke I was. Um, and I always made enough money to not be able to get any assistance, but not enough to afford anything. At one point, I didn't have a car, you know. Um, I, I was like really robbing Peter to pay Paul. I had to choose between diapers and my phone, you know. So I've been, you know, to all the places. But I can also tell you that the moment I decided I wasn't going to stay in that place anymore, in a period of 18 months, I was making 6 figures and on my way to creating what I have now, which is, I think, a pretty great life, right? And so, so yeah, it's possible.

Yeah, and I love what you're saying because I think the core message, if I heard you right, is we got to get back in the driver's seat of our life.

Exactly.

And it's sometimes it takes a little while for us to remember that we're in charge, right? Nobody else is in charge of our life. Nobody else can make enough of an impact without us allowing them to. Right. And when we put a stake in the ground and we say, this is my life, I get to live it how I want, everything changes.

And make a list. Make a dang list. Like, write down what you want. You can't— first of all, you can't fix what you don't track. So if you aren't actually looking at your mess and going, okay, this is my finances, this is my relationships, this is my health, right? And you aren't connecting any of that to any sort of like goals or plans. And I personally don't love SMART goals because I just think that as a woman, there's a feminine—

oh, Carla, you just—

there has to be a feminine piece. Because for a while when I was doing—

are you still—

there you are. Yeah, I'm hardwired, so hopefully it's not me. But I was gonna say, We have to do everything from the feminine and the masculine together. But for a while, I stepped into my masculine so much that I was pushing everything and everyone away. And so I had to learn that, like, I can still be feminine and powerful. I can still be thoughtful, feeling, and caring and not a doormat, right? And so, um, that's huge. And so I think it has to be a heart goal. Connect it to here, right? Connect.

Agreed. Agreed. And I would go even what you just said, I can be feminine, I can be— or being feminine is— how did you say it?

I have to be able to be feminine and masculine and have them work together.

Yeah, but there was something that caught my, caught my ear, is that people— I think the, the general consensus is that masculine is power. Right? But there is a different kind of power that comes from the feminine. That's why we have both of those energies inside of us. And when we learn to play with both, that's when the magic happens. And when I think back in my marriage, I, I was very masculine at work, making decisions, moving things forward, doing all of these things that are very masculine energy driven. And I brought that energy home. And home was just like that. I made the decisions, I moved things forward. And it's, I think, in part what contributed to the end of my marriage. And we have to be able to look inside and, like you say, own our shiitake mushrooms and say, you know, okay, how did I contribute? To, you know, to what was going on, because it's not all one-sided. I, and I know that there are different situations. I think your situation was different.

I don't want to say no, I don't think it is. I, I don't want anyone to hear that.

But there's no— no, no, no, but there's an awareness, right? I think where, when you, when you don't have the awareness It feels like victim, right? Right. And I think that's where the difference is, is once we get that awareness, that's when things tip and change.

Flip that switch from I'm a survivor to I'm a thriver. And you have to— the way you tell your story is so powerful. So, you know, I could easily sit here and say and point the finger, right? But I made that shit. And so I did not deserve anything that was that happened. Agreed. That's not what we're saying. But what I'm saying is I made that choice, right? And so I had to own that. And I also had to own that I made the choice. I went to therapy, I did all the things, but, you know, he just wasn't willing to make any of those changes. So I walked away feeling good that I tried everything that I could. He just wasn't really ready to make any of those kind of choices, right? And so it's, it's It's a very different thing than pointing the finger— when you stop pointing the finger at other people for anything, you know, because what do they say, like, when you're pointing this way, all— there's, there's four pointing back at you, right? So, and that's, it's, it's a cliché, but it's true. And so the biggest piece, I think, of, of the Love Method, of the Breakthrough Method, of the things that I teach my, my students, my clients, even when I do just Yoga Soul sessions, I teach Kundalini, I do somatic work, and then we do meditation and energy work. The core of everything is reconnecting with the truth of who you are, owning your authentic energy. What does that mean? It means I talk really fast, I wear hats, I like bright clothes. Typically nothing I have on matches. That's me, right? And I love it. I love that I don't walk around in a cloud looking like everyone else, right? And I don't do that for that reason. I do that because for years I did. And so when I started being my whole 100%, as my one friend Brett Larkin says, Carla 2.0, right? It's just me, right? And I'll just say, hey, I'm a hot mess today and this is what's happening, right? And let's do this or let's do that. And so I think it's, it's progress over perfection in every way. But when you start to prioritize your own healing and you create boundaries, you'll be surprised at not just the relationship that, that goes away, but all of the goodness that comes because now you're a magnet for what you want, right?

It's funny that, uh, that you say that because just before I was, um, in another interview and I was talking about how I met Justin right? And I met Justin in a Facebook group, and as part of that Facebook group, one of the things that we did was write a relationship vision. And you talked about being clear, and within 48 hours JC came into your life, right? Yeah, same thing happened. And after we were dating for a while, we took out our relationship visions and we compared, and to a T, what I had in mind he was and what he had in his I was. Oh, so when you have that, that clarity— but the thing is, you can't have that clarity about what you want until you know you and you know what makes you unique and who you are, and you're not afraid to put that out there and to let yourself be who you truly are.

1000%. And I— and And the other piece of it is knowing no one's going to complete you. That's your job, right? And so like, we walk beside of each other, and there are times when like he's leading, right, and I'm not, and I'm leading and he's not, and then we're walking through it together and that's happening. Like, there's all these different pieces, but we actually sat down and wrote out— I said, this is a deal breaker for me. This is— if you ever do this to me, I'm done, right? And he, and he's the same. So we, and we, we did, we did actual counseling before we got married because I, I swore I was never going to do it again. We dated for 4 years, um, you know, so it just, um, and, and it, it's not necessary, but I wanted to, right? So, and I believe when that happens that you, that I'm called to. So I believe if anything comes to me 3 times or more, I'm supposed to make that happen. And so I follow that. My heart and with, with everything I am. And I think if you're, if you're in this group and you're watching this, know a couple of things. One, you have already made the hardest choice you can, which is yourself over whatever else going on. Two, where you are right now is not where you'll be in 1 month, 2 months, 6 months, a year down the road. And three, the distance between where you are and where you want to be is the work that you put in. And no one can do that for you, right? And, and, and even if it just starts with a daily walk where you just start walking and just letting everything else go, it can be that simple. It's the act and the intentional energy to heal yourself and take step into the future and own your true, true happiness, because it's possible to have that.

It is. Yeah, yeah, I, I completely agree with you. I think the other thing that can be sometimes difficult is that uncertainty, right? Not knowing what the future holds, knowing what you've been through, grieving what you've been through, but then you're like, okay, so where do I go from here? And the beauty of asking ourselves that question is that you can go anywhere you you just need to make that decision and take, take the wheel.

Yeah, and, and also knowing that, um, you know, there's no shame in creating what you want and asking for what you want. There's this misguided patriarchal message that we have to stay, or we have to do this, or we have to do that. You're the only person in the world that knows your story. You're the only person in the world that knows what's right for you. Listen to that little whisper until it becomes a really loud voice that you can say no, which is a complete sentence, and yes, which is a complete sentence, right? And really putting those two together to create, um, I call it like a sacred ritual. There are things that I do every day, 2 to 3, that make me feel good about being me. And also, if I'm like not feeling good, I can go back to that practice, you know, whether it's meditation— it's always nature, touching trees for me in some way, right? And, um, there's this little piece to making things devotional and sacred again that we've gotten away from, that I think in this world where everything is busy, busy, busy and we have all these messages coming at us, we can take a moment, even if it's 3 minutes, 3 minutes is life-changing, right? A day just to get up and say thank you, thank you, thank you, and take some deep breaths. I'm, I'm, I'm telling you, it will— it's the start, it's the beginning, but it's also the beautiful piece in you rewriting that story the way that you want to live it, right? And you creating this beautiful marriage of your own between what you learned, because you learned what you didn't want, and, and now you're learning what you do want. And so it's that mindset shift of, of growth as opposed to the one that the world tells us we messed up. You didn't mess up, you learned, right? So it's, it's, it's really— there's a couple things you can always do for yourself, and one of them is just take a moment find space in the power of the pause, of surrendering. And it's hard when you first start, right? And for me, that looked a lot like, um, Kundalini and meditation with Sanskrit, because my monkey mind is always going. But when I speak in another language and when I'm using these beautiful mantras, my mind just goes—

right?

Our voice is also medicine for us.

Right.

Movement is medicine for us. And so it's, it's that whole picture of healing, which begins the moment that you say enough is enough.

Yeah. And we all get to a point where, you know, we get to that enough, enough point. Right. And that's the point where tough decisions have to be have to be made, but that's also exactly the moment when we begin to take our power back. We might not know what it's going to look like, we might not know how we're going to do it, but just making that decision is where it all begins.

Yeah, and just like a sandwich, like one bite at a time, one thing at a time, right? Make your list of the things that you know that you need to do and, and just start moving towards that. And each time you do something, find ways to celebrate it, even if it's the smallest thing of actually changing your name, if that's what you want to do, or really making a plan to move to the city you've always wanted to live in, or, you know what I mean? It's, it could be as simple as deciding I'm going to wear hats because previously the other person I was with was like, you just think you're hot shit, don't you? When every time I would put on a hat and I was like, well, yeah, I actually do, thanks for asking, you know. So it's You know, it's that kind of thing, just owning who you are and, and loving life. And I, for me, like, that is like a big metaphor for like just being okay with being different and also choosing differently for yourself. Right? Because I had so many women that I work with who are yoga teachers who are like, they feel like they have this, put everything in this nice little neat little package. And I think as women, sometimes we feel that way. We're expected to keep it all in this nice little box. That's not life. That's for darn sure not being an entrepreneur or any sort of business owner, because on any given day you wear a million different kinds of hats, right? And it's for sure not true when you're in a relationship, because it's always changing, always evolving. And if you're not growing, you're stuck. And so you really have to make some hard decisions. But when you flip that switch and decide, I want to be happy, healthy, and whole, over safe in this cocoon in my comfort zone, that's when the magic starts to happen.

Yeah, I couldn't, uh, I don't think I could agree with you anymore. So peeps, if you are watching, I want to say thank you for watching. Carla, I want to continue this conversation. I think this was absolutely wonderful. I had a great time. I think you dropped some really, really, really good wisdom to the ladies in the group, and I thank you for that.