Healing Through Art Therapy | How Mindful Creativity Calms the Chaos

Hello everyone, how are you, my heroines? I hope everybody's doing well. Today I have the pleasure of bringing to you the lovely Susan Day. Susan, how are you?

Well, thank you. How are you?

I'm good, good, thank you. So you and I chatted and I interviewed you in ENTV a little while ago, and I just, I loved your story. I loved the work that you do, and when I created this group, I was like, oh my God, I got to bring Susan back because the work that she does is amazing. So let's just start by what, you know, where are you from and what do you do?

I'm from Australia. If you look at the map of Australia, I'm on the bottom right-hand corner. I'm moving house, so things are— I don't know if you can see the boxes in the background. Um, but more importantly, I'm a Mindful Arts Coach, um, so based on Mindful Arts Therapy. So I help women, um, sort of discover their self-awareness and their unique, you know, personalities using art and mindfulness.

That's so cool because I, I've never considered myself artistic. I feel like I'm more like problem solver, and that's kind of my creativity, I suppose. Um, so tell us a little bit about your journey. How did you get started doing, doing what you do?

I, um, I have— I'm a writer, I think, um, but I've always used art as a means of processing emotions. And I would— but as a writer, as an English teacher, an ex-English teacher, I was asked to edit somebody's thesis and it had been rejected because the English wasn't good enough. Um, so I, I'm reading through this, it's about art therapy, and I was like, what's this thing? What's this? What is this? This is a thing? I thought it was just amazing. And, um, yeah, that was, that was started my journey about 8 years ago. Um, at the time I was studying mindfulness. I can't separate the two. I can't separate between mindfulness and art therapy. I'm, um, not 100% sure how you do that. So because art therapy is about the process, it's not about creating a great picture you might hang on the wall. You may just produce something that's a bit of scribble on the back of an old envelope or something, and that's great. That's what we want. And it's just releasing emotions, exploring them, and finding a sense of peace and contentment even if you've started the process really feeling angry, you know, or you're frustrated, or you're so disappointed. Particularly when you've, you know, we, we've been through divorce, we, you're a little bit older than you were when you fell in love and you got married, and you, all these extraordinary emotions to process. And, and it's, and they will just pop up like random. There's no linear, you don't go from, you know, feeling guilt and shame to contentment. You— I find it just— I found it myself, it's just an extraordinary roller coaster. And you can use— and art therapy is not just about painting and drawing. We can use— we often use, um, clay. We often use music. It's all sorts of ways to process that, those sort of— all that juggling those emotions and coming to terms with them.

So yeah, so You were previously divorced, correct?

That's correct, yes. Yeah, yeah.

So did, did you discover art therapy before or after you went through your divorce?

Oh, afterwards. A long time afterwards.

Yeah, a long time.

During the divorce, I used to draw, and now looking back, I go, oh, that's what I was doing. And there will be a lot of women just nodding now, going, I know. You know, they might find that, that release in their garden, which I did too. I did that as well. Yeah, I had a very stressful job. I used to go home and dig a hole and plant things because I didn't know how to deal with this. I'm going to kill somebody. Oh, I'm just going to dig a hole instead.

Oh my God, that's so funny.

And I look back and I think, oh, I used art a lot. It was my go-to, my safe place. And I work in community groups now, and you know, there are women who crochet There are women who knit, there are women who decoupage or journal, and what they're doing is they're going, this is— the world is up here, it's a bit of a crazy old place, um, I'm just going to do this for a little while. And while it might seem like a little bit of escapism, it gives you time, it gives you your mental space as well to relax and calm down, and then you reface some of the issues you've got to do in a completely different light.

So how, how does it then— how does it impact your nervous system? Because if you've got a lot of all this stuff going on, how, how does it— yeah, how, how does it just do that?

It does. It, it, it, um, I don't— I have to admit, I don't quite understand the science myself, but it does. It It's like deep breathing exercises, changes the chemical makeup of your brain. You just— you don't even need to meditate. Just taking lovely 3-bit deep breaths will actually de-escalate. The more you do it, the quicker it will happen, and the more thorough, the deeper you go. Um, these are things we need to employ while we're going through these changes, while we're dealing with all those emotions that come up. From separation, just even separation, maybe even if it's a trial separation, you know, it's one of those, one of those terrible moments in our lives. And it is, you know, even though it's huge and it's so painful and it's so big, um, it is a moment that you get through and you go on and you grow and you develop and you learn. And, um, that's for the, for the women who are sort of in the middle of the murkiness now. That's something that I think is really important to keep in mind.

Yeah, I find that when I talk to women who are going through divorce, I guess we go through everything in stages, right? And there, there does come a stage where you start to feel yourself being pulled forward because you've, you've done the grieving. And I guess the, the arts therapy kind of falls in that grieving kind of part of the process, would it?

Oh, very much so. But even the end of the process, that sense of joy and release to do a painting about how you're feeling. And that's, you know, that might be something that, um, you know, people listening now that could do is every week do a painting, just an emotional painting about how you're feeling. Pop them in a book, or, you know, have a special art journal, and then date them, and then go back and see how you've changed. So you might be starting with your blues and your purples and your greens and these deep contemplative colors. You may even start with blacks and browns because you're feeling so low and so depressed. And maybe at the end of the process, you're finishing with oranges and yellows. And it, it's a lovely process to, to watch and acknowledge how much you've grown in that. Yeah, as well. So art therapy can just be something like picking up a pen, using the back of an envelope to draw circles, just calming, gentle circles, nice long deep breaths, and just do those circles and just release that tension. Free your mind up for a little bit of processing, and when you— you'll know when you've done. There's no time limit. You'll just go, yeah, no, I need to move on now and do something else. And just, yeah, yeah.

So when you work with women, do you give them a prompt, something to think about as they're drawing, or do you let them loose and So how does that work?

Oh, they just, um, I just say to them, think about something that's an issue at the moment and really nut down on it. Don't just think about, oh, it's awful that my husband and I are not together anymore. Um, think about something that might have been said, because words have extraordinary power, don't they, to hurt us, and they get stuck. Um, and so just perhaps you don't even need to share it. That's another really interesting aspect. Of art therapy is that you, you know, because it can take, it can take years to develop a relationship with your, um, you know, with your therapist. So it's really important that you get it out, and you don't need to talk it out either. So you may just say, oh, I'm thinking about something that was said, um, that hurt my feelings, or, you know, wasn't true in some way, and just keep that in mind while you're drawing or painting or molding clay, and just let your subconscious release it. Because the last thing you want is to hold on to it. The last thing you need is for that to become embedded and develop into something else, and it'll be behavior issues, it'll be all sorts of things that will go— it could even be medical issues that go— that, that will, um, come out later on as well.

So do you— I'd love to hear if you can share without obviously divulging any confidentiality or anything, what's the biggest transformation that you've witnessed, uh, taking someone through, through art therapy?

Uh, oh gosh, um, one, I suppose one lady that, that keeps coming up into my mind is a lady who Um, she was quite an older lady, and so often, um, and it does— I don't think it matters what age you are, but when you're older and you're facing divorce, there is that prospect, quite alarming prospect for some women, that you will never remarry again, and that perhaps you've done something wrong. Is this almost this panic? What did I do wrong? You know, I've lost my chance. Um, And so this particular lady often, um, you know, she's— she goes through her— we go through the sessions and we sort of go through the work. And something else happened, and she just said to me recently, thank you for the nudge, thank you for the reminder that where I am is okay and what I'm doing is okay and my world will be okay. And sometimes it's just— transformation isn't that sort of getting up in the morning and all of a sudden the lights are on and the sun is shining. It usually is that little moment where you go, you check yourself and you go, hang on, I'm not that person I was last week. I'm not that person I was, you know, when, when my, when my marriage broke up and things started to go wrong. Um, and whether you've initiated the, this breakup or not, it, you know, it's still an extraordinary process, isn't it, to have to go through? Yeah, but, um, it was just that lovely nudge, the little nudge that I— that she received. It's good. Sweet.

Yeah, it's like, I love hearing stories like this because for a couple of reasons. One is because, like you said, transformation doesn't need to be like the explosion, and, you know, you, you wake up and all of a sudden everything is different. The transformation is really the journey, and it's going through those step by step by step. And everything that can help you to make a step is part of, part of the transformation.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, very much so. And, you know, people will say, oh, I'm not creative, or I'm not artistic, but the truth is art therapy is for everybody. It's— who would have said that? But, and we are all creative, you know. I always say if you can hold a pen, you can do art therapy. Um, and it's just a wonderful process because it, like I said earlier, you don't— you're not going to produce a work of art that's hanging on the wall, you know. You're not— you don't need expensive equipment. You can pick up a few colored pencils, a few colored markers anywhere. You can borrow the kids' stuff. You can just do it, just have a go. And, you know, I know that times are tough financially. I have— it's one of the reasons I wrote my books, is that for a few dollars you can have a go at home if you, if you want to, and then, then seek professional help, or use it alongside your, your professional healthcare advisor or your counselor or another— anyone else like that as well. Um, I think it's an extraordinary powerful process The results are subtle, of course, like we discussed, and you will, you'll find that nudge every now and then. You'll get the little, that little nudge.

Yeah, so, and we all do need a little push from, you know, from time to time. So don't forget to throw the links to your books in, you know, or where we can find them, because that was going to be what I was going to ask you is you know, for somebody who wants to explore to see if maybe this is something that they might be interested in, something that could complement something they're already doing, or even if it's just like, oh, that sounds kind of cool, I want to do that. What do you think would be a good first, like a good first step? Is it just a question of just do it, just start?

I think so. I think I have 5 books that look at different processes. One is healing. Another is gratitude. Um, so it might be finding one of those books that resonates with you. Um, these are also activities you can do with your children or other family members while we're all going through this process. Um, for sure, I might— I just— I might just pop a link to my website because I also have a newsletter, a weekly newsletter, um, where you get a free book about that finding that, rekindling that spark in your soul. And also, you know, I'm working on some other really exciting things— online courses and a membership club as well. Um, so yeah, there's, there's the books. I also have an art therapy app which you can download on either your Android phone or your Apple phone. And again, that's something you can carry in your pocket and have a— and just, just go through the activities, perhaps have a look, and you know, when you've got some time, sit down and just, just have it, just have a little go with them and explore what you're going through. So I think something— there's something for everyone that will resonate with where they are at the moment, I feel. And again, it's not a linear process. I find it's just about going through and discovering what it is you need. Maybe you're full of rage, which is understandable, so you want to— you might pick up the book on calm and peacefulness. Um, or maybe you are hurt and you need the healing, um, or you just want to— you just want to feel joy and be happy. How do you do that? Now, where, where is the joy? And so, yeah, art therapy can really help with finding those and discovering them.

Yeah, I want to go back to what you said about exploring, because I think we, as we are trying to find our way out of the pain and the emotions and the grieving and moving on, it can sometimes feel like there's one way, right? And you got to go down that— go down that path. But there's so much value in exploring because part of what we do also coming out of a divorce is we try to figure out who we are. And part of figuring out who we are now that we're divorced is exploration. So that exploration can take many different shapes, and including the work that you do.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, exactly. So often as women, we, we put our inner selves, our true selves, to one side, um, to, to be a wife, to be a mother, even if you've just got pets, if you haven't had children yet, or, you know, or you've built an entire home for your family, and then all of a sudden it begins to disintegrate. Well, who are you really underneath all that? These are roles you've played. But yeah, what are you? And, you know, what are you doing? And what's your purpose now? And I think that's an extraordinary grieving process, but it's also that opportunity to explore and learn. And really, it's, you know, from someone who's been through it, as you'll know, it's actually quite exciting. Isn't it? To think, I'm going to discover who I really am now, it's my time. Yeah. And, um, there will be that sense that— always that sense of grief, the loss of the marriage, but also a great opportunity to, to, I don't know, discover something new and something new and exciting. And I will— one of the things I honestly believe is you need to trust your intuition. Yeah, you agree? Yes. So, um, you know, if you know, you've, you've gone through this process, or you're going through this process, I should say, um, and you look at the books and you're not sure which one to choose, just go with your heart. Choose the one that speaks to you. And to trust, begin to really begin to trust that intuition that you have that speaks to your true self and your inner wisdom.

Yeah, fully, fully agree. Um, any final words? Anything that we haven't touched on that you think is important to mention?

Oh no, I just really think that, um, it's just so important that women just really reclaim, begin that reclamation process of— yeah, yeah, just do it, just do it, honey. Get out there.

Music to my ears. Music to my ears. All right, Susan, thank you so much for spending time with us. Heroines, I hope that what Susan shared brings you some inspiration, it brings you some hope. Feel free to reach out. Susan will throw her links underneath in the, in the comments. And, you know, any questions, any thoughts, anything, don't hesitate to reach out to either one of us for whatever it is you need. Susan, thank you again. Ladies, thank you so much for watching, and we will catch up again soon. Take care.