How To Change - 5 Simple Steps

Do you know there's something that you need to change but you've been resisting making that change? That's what I want to cover today, but at first I want to give you one hint, and it's that it doesn't have anything to do with motivation, but it does take some courage. So stay tuned. So you've been wanting to change something about yourself, right? So I think the first thing that's important to note is that there are different types of change. So there's the all-or-nothing type of change, which basically is like when you have a baby, right? Because you can't bring it back, you can't make it go away. You have a baby, you have a baby. That's an all-or-nothing change. The next type of change is a habit change. There's something that you want to change in your life, in the way that you're doing things, something that maybe isn't serving you, and you want to replace it with something that does serve where you want to go and how you want to grow. The third type of change is very simply you just want to try something new. Maybe it's a new habit, maybe it's you want to make new friends. Whatever the case may be, it's about bringing some novelty into your life. The fourth one is behavioral, behavioral change. So maybe there's something in your behavior that you're not particularly either happy about or something that you want to improve. Maybe you want to become more curious about the people in your life, or you want to be more open when you meet new people. So that would be a behavioral change. The next thing would be an emotional change, where, you know, if you get angry very easily, that may be something that you want to change by exploring why you're getting angry, what is making you angry, and then being able to address the root causes so that you can start to do away with, you know, those— that emotion of anger. And then the last one is cognitive change, and it's something like your— it's mindset and how you approach things. And it could be something like you want to change from looking at yourself as a victim to really fully taking ownership for your life. So those are the different kinds of change that can happen and that we can take on for ourselves. But no matter what the type of change is, there is one thing that is undeniable, is that we have to be ready for that change. If we're just going through the motions and saying, oh, I gotta change, I gotta do this, but we're not fully embracing that, we're not taking it to heart, it's, it's just not going to happen because change is hard. And if we're not 100% sure that we want to take on this journey, that we want to make whatever that change is that we want to make, then it's not going to work. And it's already going to take some courage to go through this, and it's that much more difficult when we're trying to do something half-heartedly. So there may be some reasons why you're avoiding change. I can think of 3, um, and at the root is fear, because that's a lot of what happens when we're trying to go through change. We fear one of 3 things. One is, what are we going to lose? So if I'm trying to get healthier, I might be thinking, well, what's going to happen to all these yummy foods that I used to eat, right? You might think that's a loss, that why would I, you know, because you don't know what's coming, why would you get rid of these yummy foods that you're eating? So the pull of being healthy might be strong, but the fear of losing the foods that you love might be stronger, and that keeps you stuck. The next one is— the next thing we might fear is discomfort, right? Or process change. Going through the process of finding new recipes, trying new things, wondering whether or not they're going to be better than what we had before. Is not easy. The process is difficult, but remember that you are stronger than you think and that you can take on these challenges because you've survived much worse things, right? So just remember that you can tolerate a lot more than you give yourself credit for. And then the third fear is that we might fear that nothing's going to change at the end of this journey, that, you know what, the grass isn't necessarily greener on the other side. So those are the 3 reasons or the 3 fears that might be getting in the way of you not moving forward with changing what you want to change in your life. But at the end of the day, change is inevitable, right? So we have 2 choices. We either can accept it and learn to live with it and learn to make the best of it and how to integrate that more into our life so we're thriving, or we can choose to be in pain. We can choose to be a victim. We can choose to think, you know, what is— you know, why am I doing all of this? Why should I do all of this? Um, and that's not a really nice place to be either. So there are really 5 steps to accepting change and really to thrive. And the first thing is look at the pros and cons of the changes that you're looking to make. Draw up your lists. What are the good things and what are the bad things? Because once you have the good list, then you focus on those. And if, you know, whatever the cons are, you can start to actively work to improve those things and to find ways to overcome them. The second thing is be aware of your emotions, right? Act in a way that is going to help you to keep moving forward, but also that minimizes negative emotions. So you want to try to stay in that positive atmosphere, in that engaging moment, as much as you can because as soon as you step into that negative, that's when things starts to go downhill. And that's the third thing, is managing the negative emotions, right? Or the negative thoughts. If, to take again the example of getting on your health journey, um, you know, oh, this is too hard, or I can't do this, or, you know, I'm not strong enough for this— all of those emotions and all of those negative thoughts have an impact on whether or not you're going to succeed. So put all the chances on your side. And really be as positive as you possibly can. Number 4, plan. If you're expecting or you want to make a big change, it's not going to happen overnight, first of all. So recognize that, you know, this is a journey that could take some time. But you also have to have a plan. You know, if you want to cross the Sahara Desert, you're not just gonna, you know, one day decide, oh, you know, there I go, take your backpack, you know, put your shoes on, forget your sunscreen. And, you know, go off and try to cross the Sahara Desert. No, you have to plan, just like you have to plan to climb Mount Everest. And some of the changes that we want to make might very well feel like we're trying to climb Mount Everest. So it's exceedingly important to really plan, to set milestones, to take sometimes moments to go back when we, you know, when we take a step back and to reassess, okay, am Am I going in the right direction? And then being able to have that flexibility of adjusting the plan to make sure that it continues to work for you. And then the fifth thing, and maybe the most important one, is behave like the person you want to become. So if I want to be healthier and I think about what are the behaviors and what do people do who are healthier than I am, right? So maybe they don't eat fried foods, or maybe they exercise more more often or more diligently or in a better way than I do. Or, you know, when they have that urge for a cookie, maybe they go for a walk instead of reaching and eating the cookie. So adopting already the behaviors of what you're trying to grow into— it's not to say that it's not going to still be a challenge, but if you start adopting some of the habits and some of the mannerisms and some of the ways of behaving of people who are healthy, then it really makes a big difference in terms of how quickly or how much or how effectively you're going to get there. So that's what I wanted to share today. And just a reminder, you know, be willing to embrace the journey, to accept the challenge, because you will come out stronger on the other side. And don't forget this one important piece: it does take some courage. Okay, so if you want to develop more of that courage, then I would encourage you to join me this Saturday, July 16th, at 11 AM. I will be hosting a free masterclass called The 6 Success Strategies of High-Performing Women. I would love to have you there. One of the topics we're going to talk about is courage, and obviously growth and personal development is all about change and embracing the change and becoming better versions of ourselves. So I will put the link in the comments, so feel free to join, and I will talk to you very soon. Take care, bye!