In this personal self‑help monologue, the speaker reflects on her journey from fearing solitude—driven by societal expectations of marriage and family—to embracing being alone after a divorce and later finding a fulfilling relationship. She shares three core lessons: (1) solitude is a gift that enables deep self‑knowledge and clarity about one’s values and boundaries; (2) discomfort signals opportunities for growth, encouraging the development of a "courage muscle" that empowers one to ask for what they need; and (3) feeling whole is an individual responsibility—relationships should enhance, not complete, a person. She concludes by encouraging viewers who are currently alone to view the period as a creative phase of self‑construction and invites comments.
Chapters
Before I met my ex-husband, I thought that being alone really sucked. And that's because I was all wrapped up in society's expectations that, you know, you're not really anybody until you get married and you have a family and all of that. So I overcompensated at work, which was okay. And then I met my now former husband, and fast forward 10 years, we're divorced. Fast forward another 12, I'm in a fabulous relationship, And here's what I learned. I learned that being alone isn't something to be afraid of, isn't something to denigrate. It's something to relish because it gives you an opportunity to really get to know yourself at a level where, like, you know exactly what you want, you know exactly what you don't want, you know what you're going to stand for and what you're going to tolerate and what you're going to accept. And that in itself is such a gift. The second thing is When we get uncomfortable, that's when we grow. So when we are in situations where we're not feeling super happy or there's something that's not quite right, it's a perfect opportunity to learn something new, to even chase things that we've never chased before, or to have experiences that we've never had before. It's an opportunity to develop some courage when we put ourselves in situations where we don't feel comfortable, that develops that courage muscle, which serves us when we have to ask for the things that we want. And the last thing is that feeling whole is our job. It's up to us to feel whole. You know, being with somebody needs to enhance who you are. When you rely on them to make you happy, that is never a good combination. The better we feel, The stronger we feel, the more likely we are to invite the right partner in our life. So if you're alone right now, I want you to know this: you are not lost. You are creating yourself. Let me know how you feel about this. Drop it in the comments.
