Alexandra NielDivorce Recovery Coach, ANiel International, LLC. · I help women who held it all together through divorce finally build a life that’s actually theirs | Thrive After Divorce

“I Don’t Like Who I Am With You” – The Wake Up Call That Changed Everything

14 Jun 2025 · 1 min

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1:08

In this monologue, the speaker recounts a pivotal moment during an argument with her former husband when an inner voice told her she didn’t like the person she became while with him. This realization acted as a switch, prompting her to seek ways to repair the marriage. She describes her efforts as futile, likening them to playing tennis with a partner who never returns the ball, highlighting the one‑sided nature of the work. Over the course of a year or two, she grappled with the feeling of isolation within the relationship before ultimately deciding she could no longer continue, acknowledging that she felt alone and unable to be herself with him.

Chapters

And I remember it clear as day. I was having umpteenth argument with my former husband. And all of a sudden I heard a little voice. Somebody was saying to me, I don't like who I am when I am with you. And I was changing and becoming somebody I didn't like when I was with him. And that was my switch. That was, you know, that was what the flip, you know, flip of the switch. It doesn't mean that I left right away. I still looked for ways to make it work and to look for solutions. And that's great, except when only one person is trying to do that. Mm-hmm. It doesn't work. It's like trying to play a tennis game with somebody in front of you and they're not batting the ball back, right? They're not hitting the ball back to you. It's like, what's the point? And So I think from that moment, it still probably took me a year or two because I don't remember exactly the date, but it took me a good year or two to finally say, this is not— I can't do this. I felt like I was alone in this relationship.