Let Go of Control and LiveYour Truth

Hello, heroines! This is Alex back again for another interview today, and right now I have the pleasure of having the lovely Moj Razmi with me. Moj, how are you?

I'm doing really well, thank you. How about yourself?

Good, good. I love your, like, your whole look and your background. Everything, like, is coordinated. It looks fabulous.

I planned it.

So, Moj, why don't we just get started? Super easy. Why don't you tell us where you're from and what you do?

Well, I, I live in Bay Area, California, and, um, it's been, it's a beautiful day. So I decided to come and sit outside and enjoy this interview with you. And what do I do? I, I, I am the founder of the Global SHE Circle, where SHE stands for support, harmony, and empowerment. I get to do what some, you know, like what you're doing right now, bring awesome soulful people into the group and get them to speak their truth. Developing the group, growing the group, and having like so many cool plans in my mind and in my heart as far as what's the next thing happening in the group. The group is at 6,700 right now. And, uh, yes, and I'm, I enjoy it like on everyday basis. I look forward into chatting with people. And then I know I also do coaching. I am a transformational joy coach, hence the dash joy on my name. And I'm a spiritual catalyst.

That's a lot.

Yes.

But I know you love it. I know you love it. So I love it.

I wouldn't do it if I didn't love it. So that's that joy, that dash joy. If it's not joyful. If it's just work, I've been there, done that. No.

Yeah, I got the t-shirt too, so I know exactly how you feel. So tell us a little bit about how you got started doing this.

Um, which one, the coaching or—

well, yeah, the whole Glue She Circle, everything that you're doing now, kind of what's been your journey to get here.

So my journey is, um, I'm an engineer by education. I, my work was, I do, I was doing engineer, engineering management. I was working for one of the Fortune 500 high-tech companies in Silicon Valley. I was managing a nice big group of reliability activities, reliability engineering activities within the company. And I always considered myself a cool nerd. And at one point, and I wanted to do things like I had aspirations and I wanted to be somebody like being this big shot and then being a woman in the technology, at least during my time, it was not a walk in the park. So I always had to do extra to even be seen. So, but you know, it got to a point that when I, when I had my kids, it, somehow some stuff shifted in me and I always had some spiritual inclinations and it was always something that carried me through my endeavors throughout my life, being Generation Zero in U.S. and had to work 5 jobs to put myself into engineering school at UC Berkeley. But I was like so determined. I was like having so much fun and engaged. And then after I had my children, so I'm like, this is not as fun as it used to be. Like, I want to, like, I'd rather just play with my kids now. I want to, I want to be the one who is like, get to play with them and, and be a mom and do, do, do what I need to do in this timeframe. So I literally had this thing that I don't want to do that anymore. And I want to do this. And, um, it took me some time to nail that, to kind of like actually understand myself that that's what I want, because all my life I wanted to be a big, you know, a big shot and, you know, be on top of the business and all that. And so it took me some, it took me literally 7 years to sort that out. And when I did, I, um, and it was through spiritual work that I sort of sorted out for myself and And then when I made the announcement to my husband and to my family, they all, they all panicked. But I gave him 6 months notice because I knew at heart that's, that's what I wanted to be, a stay home mom. And, um, so I sort of did that because I was so determined. That's, I know, I know that I want, but nobody around me, my mom, my dad, my uncle, aunt, cousins. Friends, brother, husband, except my kids. Nobody agreed to that. As far as like everybody thought I'm kind of crazy and weird that I'm going to put away all that and all the work that I did toward that, like forget it. And then I want to do this. So, but then after I did that, everything started just falling into my lap. I started being asked to teach yoga without any certification. And then, um, I, they literally pushed me to do it. I was like, no, I'm not going to do it. No, that yoga is too much. Like I can teach like a Zumba kind of a class or kickboxing, but I'm not going to teach yoga. That's like, it's, it's like, um, you know, you need to be certified with that and all that. So that kind of got me to do a certification program, which conveniently show up at the junior college, uh, 10 minutes away, which in those days, you know, 20 5 years ago, um, 20, 20 years ago, 21 years ago, they weren't as readily accessible as they are these days. And, um, and then basically after that, I, I got introduced to a woman who randomly at lunch, she was meeting a friend. She showed up because she was her friend. And, um, she happened to be in charge of the, uh, classes at Stanford with the Health Improvement Program. And I didn't even know that. We were just chatting and, um, I told them how excited I was about my yoga and how I got my, I was one of the very first ones to get her certifications because I've been teaching parents as I'm in, uh, gymnastics and soccer and all that. So I didn't even know, but I collected my 100 hours of teaching while we didn't know we have to have that. And when they said you have to have it, I'm like tallied up my numbers. I was like way beyond that. So I was one of the first ones who got my certification and she called me 2 weeks later. She said, I have a summer class in 2 weeks, um, under oak tree at Stanford. And if you're familiar with Stanford campus, it's just the most gorgeous place. And I was like, I'm, you know, I'm a Cal Berkeley and Cal Berkeley and Stanford are the main rivalries in, you know, in, in Bay Area, California. I'm like, I'm not going to teach at Stanford, but then under an oak tree. You know, outside. Okay, I'll do it. And that was the beginning of 15, 16 years teaching there and kind of manifested into other classes. And I did lectures there for health improvement program from breathing to how to, how to own your morning, own your day, to, you know, yogic spring cleaning, and so on and so forth. So that opened up so many other doors for me. And then eventually, uh, you know, like half, halfway into it, I started coaching because I always had a line of people after class that wanted to talk to me and they would ask for my number. They wanted to call me and, and I was like, oh my gosh, you know, do I want to get personal or private with these people? And, and then, um, Somehow I heard of coaching, which wasn't again a big thing back then. You know, it was just select few and they were more business coaching. It wasn't as much life coaching or transformational coaching as much. And that was only for the elite and for like Hollywood people. And, and all of that was for more up there. And, um, so that, like everything that happened after I quit my my, my technical life, it was just like organically next thing, next thing, next thing. And, um, and then, you know, uh, when, when, when I became an empty nester, I sort of, uh, cut back on so many things because so many things happen at the same time. I became an empty nester. I had so many endeavors in personal life. I lost my dad who was my soulmate. I got stuck on that Princess cruise ship that came back to San Francisco. As pandemic broke out in San Francisco, we couldn't come back. We weren't allowed. The president didn't let us come off the boat, and we got quarantined for extra month in some Marine base. So, you know, so many things happened that I sort of sat back and started Observing, and then I started coming back into it. I got involved in a group. Um, it didn't work really well for me. It sort of agitated me actually, because of whatever they were asking me to do was more work. And I was like, um, um, work is too much for me. I don't want to work. I've done, I've done my lifetime of work. I don't want to work. I want to play. I want to enjoy. And then I ran into, bumped into some friends.. And, um, I was watching them for a few, for a couple of 3 months, and I could reverse engineer what they were doing, and I loved it. So when the opportunity came to do that, I jumped on that, and I grew my group, uh, you know, by 6,500. I, my group was, uh, called What's Right With You before that. I had, I had like about 4,500 in the group, but I reduced it to 200. I sort of take people off because they weren't participating. So I started with a group of less than 200 in January. I took the whole month of April off, I vacationed and so on. And maybe in like, I don't know, 15 weeks, I am at 6,700 in my group. And I'm getting a lot of people organically wanting to join the group. The group is just doing, I mean, the conversations, it's like, That's what I craved all my life. And now I get to have those conversations and, um, have those heart connections with strangers. I don't even know these people and we start talking and, um, I tell them I don't wanna know anything about them before we start so I can get to know them with the audience. And at the end, uh, there is so much connection. So I trust that answers your question.

It does. It does. And I wanna go back to something you said before when you were talking about teaching the yoga class, right? And all of a sudden, this yoga class certification became, you know, was available near you. It sounds like when you went in and you aligned with what your heart's desire was, like, everything else opened up. Would you say that's fair?

Exactly, exactly. That's, that's how it has been, and that's what, what gave me the extra, uh, you may call it faith, you may call it trust. So every time I use the word faith, some people think I'm talking about religion, all that, but faith is to have that trust, that belief. So even though as an engineer, my, all my calculation would say, that's so stupid. That's so stupid to let go of all those stocks, all the money, all the prestige. All the future possibilities and then just be a stay-at-home mom. Like my brain was like, that's so stupid. But my heart was like, but that's what I want. And it, again, it took me, my, my coaching is about what is it that you truly want? And then from there we make things happen. And, and that's why I become a catalyst because my work is for you to find out what is it that you truly want, because a lot of our wants are, you know, superficial. A lot of our wants— I'm not like— you could have actual wants that look superficial, but a lot of our wants are superficial in a way that they're not ours. They're either our parents or they're our society or they're because everybody else is doing it, because it looks cool, but it's not really, really, really, really, really, really, really what we want. And when we get to that point, so For me was at any time I really do what my, I, my heart really desires. And it's like my, my calling, my connection, things just unfold. And the examples of it is the, you know, the yoga class shows up a 9-month program shows up every month, once in a month, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, totally doable with 2 young kids. And then get, get the opportunity of teaching at the best, you know, one of the best universities in the world. And then all the other classes showing up and then people asking me to coach and then this and then that. And I also have the freedom of being with my kids full time. I only taught from, you know, 9 to 2 when the kids were away and, um, and everything. And even now with the Global She Circle, I am interviewing like crazy. I mean, I, I kind of slowed down because now I'm doing some other things with the group. But, um, even with the interviews, it's more of like having tea with a friend. So it's, it's not like, oh, I have to do an interview. It's more like, oh, I get to do this and I wonder what I'm going to find out and who's going to be on the other side. And, and then people always sort of surprise me in a, in a good way. Like I find out something about this person that you could have never thought by the, even if you look at their Facebook, even, but you find so much goodness in these people. And I'm like, ah, we get to bring that. We get to shine that in the, in the world and for people to see what's right.

Yeah, I, I agree. And I think one of the things that, as you were talking, struck me is when you said, and I'm going to get a little philosophical, I guess, but just a stay-at-home mom.

Right?

Like, that's not the most important job in the world. And if your heart was calling to that, then I honor you for listening to that because I think in today's day and age, we get so caught up in we got to do, do, do, right? Success, success. And everybody's, you know, success is outwardly success, but people can be really successful outside and inside they're completely miserable, right? So I just wanna, for a woman who has that calling, right? Who feels inside that, you know what, this is what I wanna be is, and it doesn't have to be a mom, it could be something completely different. Right? And yet she's high-achieving, high-performing women in the corporate world, but she feels stuck, right? What would you, what would you say to a woman who's actually going through that right now?

So, you know, um, I think we use the word stuck too much that, um, kind of loses its power in a way to push us in a— because some, you know, I think all these things we feel is actually a blessing because then we know we got to change course because otherwise we would be la la la la la, you know, we would be doing something that is totally not what we want to do. So when we talk about, oh, I'm stuck, it's actually, we look at it as a negative thing. To me, that is a really cool thing because otherwise you would have been just going along and not knowing, and then you will die not knowing. Whereas when you feel stuck, it kind of tells you that you're not listening to yourself. You're— that's universe's way to say stop. What does stuck mean? Like you can't go any further because universe is telling you, hey, you don't want to go that way.

Pay attention.

You don't want to go that way. So I'm going to get you stuck here. So that you can come out and go the right direction. So you're not going farther and farther from where you want to turn around and go. So I think I'm going to go back to what is it that you truly want, because you will never feel stuck if you're doing what you truly want. So there are times that I do what I truly want and we get lost. Like we are lost. Like we have no clue where we are. And I laugh about it. I laugh about it. I can look at it as an observer. I can be like, I don't know what anything's for. I can be cool about it. And because it's, you know, I don't know, the universe is so vast that my little brain, which is a smart one, it's not going to match it. So I don't know. And that's how I can be cool about so-called, you know, reroute or a detour or something, something when I'm doing what I truly want. However, when I'm hustling to do what I don't want and then a detour happens, I get pissed off because I already don't want to do this thing. I mean, that's the reality of it. We may not be able to articulate it. I really don't want to do this thing, but I have to. And after all this effort, now it's not working and I have to go this other way and I have to take another extra month to do what I wanted to do in, in 2 days. So what I would say as far as that is, that is actually a gift for you to recognize what is it that you truly want. What is it that you truly want and to kind of go back to that. And there's, you know, there are practices or ways that you could accentuate that part of you to, to get to know yourself more and more and more. And then when you, when you actually see these things, feeling stuck, feeling annoyed, I mean, annoyed was my thing. Annoyed is more of my thing than feeling stuck. And, you know, when you feel these feelings, you know, I always say, you know, check your joyometer. When you feel these feelings, it's like, oh, goody. I'm getting, I'm getting an, I'm getting a message that I need to change course, that I need to look at this closely because whatever I'm doing is not truly what I want to do. So why am I, what am I doing that for? And, you know, all the excuses that we have, well, I have to do it because I have bills to pay. I have to do it because I have kids. I have to, because of all those things. You actually should not do those things. So if you, if somebody says, oh, I have to work because of my kids, actually because of your kids, you have to do the work that you actually love. If you truly are doing it to set an example, because we are all teachers. We don't have to actually teach to be teachers. We teach by our actions. And, um, if you're really doing it for your kids, you really got to do something that you want. So for your kids, you should stop. Up doing the work that you don't want. And then have that faith and that trust in finding what it is that you truly want.

I agree with you. I think it's, it can be scary, right, to leave something that you know, that you're familiar with, regardless of how comfortable it is, right? And so I think that's may be one place where, where somebody might get stuck. But I want to also ask you this because I think it's important for the women in the group. How does one find their joy again when they've been going through— when they've gone through something as devastating as heartbreak? Can be.

Um, the, you know, actually rediscovering joy is one of my forte. It's, uh, actually I have a talk coming up in Unity of Palo Alto, and I'm, I'm waiting to hear from our Reverend between that topic and another topic, rediscovering joy. I've actually also written an ebook about it, uh, but it's, it's mainly directed to the empty nesters. However, literally, I have people who don't have kids, people who are younger, on a younger generation, and they all have read it and they all loved it. So it is something that I like to dabble with and play with is basically everything boils down to ourselves. I mean, it's way easier to point finger and say it's Alex's fault. It's the weather's fault, it's my car's fault. It's so easy to do that, but for us to develop that level of, maybe you call it maturity, to take responsibility for at least our own well-being and joy. And the catch is that every time we take responsibility, and we say, okay, I'm responsible for it, then literally, I mean, if I want to get philosophical, if I want to get spiritual about it, of myself I do nothing. So, but the thing is, the first step of it is for you to take responsibility for it and say, okay, it's my thing to do, but then you can lean back and sit and hand it over. And then ask, what's my next step? So this is a, this is a big concept for those of us who've been doers and, you know, who've been, you know, actually making things happen, who, who worked hard and hustled and did on the, on the, did the things that people told you that you cannot do. And for you to say, Oh, you know, for me to just sit back and it's, it's that willingness. It's the willing to be willing to be willing. It's that willingness to take the responsibility and then be, be doing that inner play, inner work for you to actually see what is it that you are truly about. Where is it that the universe is teaching you? It's the only time you're depressed. Because, because you have been depressed, you have been pressed, you have pressed yourself, and, and all you are asking for is expansion. So whatever that expansion means for you, bring that into your life. You may experience it momentarily with dancing, with music, with a— but to kind of model after that and see what else brings you that expansion. And to rediscover that joy within you is when you have integrity with yourself, when you have that faith within yourself, when you trust, when you know that I don't know what anything's for, and you know that what is happening is somehow it's in the most interest of the big picture, even though it may look like I have to take one for the team. But so be it. There's other opportunities. There's other ways to do things. So again, these might be a little bit big for somebody who has to have control. And, you know, a lot of times we say, oh, but, you know, I'm a pleaser and I don't have control. Actually, being a people pleaser is kind of a manipulation because I please you to get my way. Correct? Why am I pleasing you? Because I want to get my way. So I'm sort of simplifying it, but most of our actions, most of our upsetness is because why is you— why are you not— why are you doing the things you want to do and not the things that I want you to do? That's most of our upsets in our lives. Why things are happening the way that they want to happen not the way I said that to happen. And when we recognize that, it actually becomes really comical. Like, I'm upset because it's raining. Why the weather is not going according to what I want, you know? Or, you know, why is that guy chooses to live his life like that and not the way that I want? I mean, that's what it boils down to, and it becomes kind of comical. That you are selfish because you live your life the way you want to live and not the way I want you to live it. So it's kind of— you can make—

which is selfish in itself.

Exactly. Which makes it funny because I'm calling you selfish, whereas I'm being selfish wanting you to live your life the way I want you to be living your life in accordance to my what makes me happy. So if you, if you be willing to take responsibility of it, then you can see how comical a whole lot of these things are, how our mind is so programmed to be too serious and too clingy and too controlling over things. And then when we give ourselves that willingness to just say, to be curious, I mean, if you look at all the teachings to be curious, to have that childlike innocence, all of that guides us toward that space of being cool with whatever is coming our way. And then the joy that we have, the innate joy that we have within us, will have nowhere else to go but out, to come out.

I love it. I love it. I could go, I could talk to you for hours, but we don't have hours. So any final words that you want to share with our heroines that you think is important for them to know?

Well, I think for, for, for us women to know that we not only as women, but we have a tendency to be more of impacts in our lives. And then, So to have that in mind, as empaths, we do observe, we do absorb what happens around us. So for us is to be very, if you want to be picky, if you want to be, to know that we could be the lead metronome. And the lead metronome is if they have 100 metronomes going randomly, Eventually one takes the lead and then within like 30 seconds, 15 seconds, they all match that lead metronome. So for us to be the lead metronome and not get wavered by, you know, like my husband just came in and picked up something, my water bottle just flipped and it made all that chaotic things. I can get pissed off about that, correct? Because can't you see I'm on a call? Blah, blah, blah. You know, all the stories and all the ancestral stuff that how women are la la la la la, you know, and all my, you know, high-tech experiences. But for me, I don't know what anything's for. This happens. I'm just going to do what works for me right now and do— I'm the lead metronome here. I'm the one who say where my energy goes.

You're the one who sets the rhythm. Yes.

Where my energy is going to go.

Yeah, beautiful. Moj, thank you so much for being here with us and sharing your wisdom.

Thank you.