Alexandra NielDivorce Recovery Coach, ANiel International, LLC. · I help women who held it all together through divorce finally build a life that’s actually theirs | Thrive After Divorce

The Downside of Trying to 'Fix' Your Mate

23 Jun 2025 · 1 min

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This content was created by Alexandra Niel. This content was uploaded by Alexandra Niel. This is a YouTube video titled "The Downside of Trying to 'Fix' Your Mate" (created 2025-06-23). The excerpt is a short dialogue between two speakers discussing relationship and gender dynamics — specifically how women 'fixing' or doing things for men can be disempowering, the contrast between telling someone what to do versus expressing one’s own needs and feelings, and the aim of achieving mutual empowerment for sustainable change.

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I think a lot of women would believe that if we do for others, if we try to fix things for others, that we are— and it comes from a good place, right, of wanting to support the people that we love— but it's incredibly disempowering for the guys.
Not the like, you need to do this. It's more of, this is what I need, this is what I'm feeling, this is my experience. That is a very different dynamic for, for the masculine to respond to when it's like simply we are so anchored into our own experience and expressing our own experience and emotions. And, and that's, yeah, as you said, disempowering for them. It may feel empowering temporarily to us, but again, we want that win-win, we want that both and. We don't want to feel empowered because somebody else is feeling disempowered. We want both sides to feel empowered to have true change, sustainable change happen.