The Legacies We Leave - LyndaTalley

Hello and welcome to The Legacies We Leave, conversations on fulfillment, joy, and purpose. This week, I'm happy to bring you my friend and my go-to woo-woo authority, Linda Talley. Linda is an empath coach and intuitive healer. She's certified in mindfulness, meditation, and spirituality, along with Human Design and other modalities. She inspires empathic leaders to say yes to themselves and unlock and embody their intuitive gifts for a pathway to success. After a 15-year career in the corporate world that was primarily in supply and change management, she found herself caught up again as a casualty in a company buyout. She had been feeling a calling to listen to her own voice, but had been shutting it out for years. She was living in her mind and in her fears. But it was in that moment that everything became clear. She'd been getting messages to leave for years, but felt it was her duty to stay. She was in adrenal fatigue, burning out and miserable, feeling like she put everyone in front of herself and it took a toll. She took a bold leap to listen to her intuition and do what was in her soul's plan. Her mission, which is to help empathic leaders who feel shut down, overworked, and not heard, and show them how to get back into their body and reclaim their life, unlock their gifts, and embody their souls, thus by showing them their true self naturally. Linda, welcome! I'm so excited that you're here.

Hi, and thanks for having me.

Cool. So let's just jump right in. And let me ask you the first question, which is I'm going to ask you to tell us a little bit about your entrepreneurial journey in a bit more detail than what you had in your, in your intro, how you transitioned from that traditional career path and why did you decide to go down that way?

It's a great question.

Unravel that.

You know, I, in looking back at my whole journey, I was raised, you know, generations back, everybody was entrepreneurs. And it didn't come until like my grandmother's, like, generation where she was like, got caught up in the fears and everything else. And she was like, no, 'Oh, everybody needs to find their own careers, go to college, you know, go down that path.' And that's kind of like where I feel everything started with me, because I felt at that moment I was starting to be put in a box. And it was like, okay, gotta, you know, make the grades, gotta go to a college, gotta find that career. And even in college, I remember going back and forth to several different careers, and several times looking at like creative careers but thinking, no, we won't do that, we'll go over here, we'll do this.

And let me, let me ask you, why did you not listen then?

Because, you know, I had been put— one, I was— had a lot of trauma in my life, okay? And so, no, number 2, I was in a fear-based, you know, thinking. Okay, so, and it was all in my mind, in my ego, saying, no, you can't do that, you're not going to make the money. I'll even give you one story of— I was started taking advertising classes, and they were very easy for me. I loved the creative flow, I loved everything about it, and it was doing very well. And I even met somebody that had, you know, a firm, and they offered me an internship. I turned it down, changed my, um, major to marketing. So that was one of my majors because it was the easier career. It was more inside what I thought of as in a box, was in the business side where I had been kind of like led as more— it was going to be more safe, you know.

That was just what I was going to ask you. Did it feel safer?

It didn't really. I don't know if it felt safer. It was just told to me that it was safer.

Okay, okay.

You know, gotcha. And so it was just a lot of that in my life.

Okay.

And, you know, so for years I just kept going along this track and thinking, you know, oh, I can get this promotion, or I can do this and this will happen. And, you know, I'm doing all these things, I'm just working along, you know, run, Linda, run. And that's what I felt like I was doing. And I, you know, I was just going for, you know, what I was supposed to do. And universe kept like interfering left and right. I've been laid off at least 5 times.

Wow.

I mean, I would think I was, you know, I thought you're getting in with the wrong companies, they're going through all these buyouts, or, you know, your job is transitioning out because of the numbers, you know, so they have to get rid of your job or something. It's just, that's the way it's happening. It's like, no, it was the universe telling me, you know, no, this, you need to get out. You need to get out one way or another.

The universe was going to get you out of there.

And I sat there on one of my layoffs, and I ended up meeting two life coaches. And I remember this moment because I was looking at them going, how did you do this? And they were going, what do you mean? How did I do what? How did, how did you make the decision to do what you're doing? Because for so many years I had been sitting here saying, I need to find another job. I just need to find another job and I'll be happy. How many times have we said that? I'm just not in the right job. Maybe I'm not in the right, you know, career. Career, meaning, you know, I can do, change this up and I'll be happy. I'll do this and I'll be happy. So I was looking at these people and I'm like, I feel such a draw to this, and I know I'm supposed to be doing something like this, but I don't know how to do it. And this one gentleman sat there and said, you just do it. I was like, no, that's too— that's too bleeping scary. I can't just— no, you just don't understand. And I put this whole list of things of, you know, reasons why I couldn't do it. And he was like, Did you just listen to yourself? And I went, yeah, I did. Went on to get another job in corporate, and then this last time the company had been bought out a couple of times, and I could see— because I get these visions— and I could see another, um, one was about to come up. Come along. And I put it out there. I said, I don't want to survive this one. And sure enough, they, they put it in the cards. I was laid off. And I kept being pulled back. You sure you don't? You sure you don't? And I was like, no, no. And so I started, you know, doing what I do. And I've never looked back. It's been the biggest growth journey. Oh yeah. Um, I've never been happier. And I mean, yeah, it's not for everybody, but finding what you're supposed to do is for everybody.

You know, I listen to you talk and I'm like, get out of my head, because those are exactly the same things that I've told myself. I've never been happier. It may not be for everyone, but it was the right thing for me, right? And I loved what you said about, I don't want to survive this one, because I think that many women, at least many of the women that I've spoken with, they're in that survival mode in corporate and they're miserable. So I know it's not technically the same thing surviving not surviving a layoff versus surviving in corporate, but that idea that they are where they are and they're unhappy. They just don't know how to get out.

And I think I really was there too. And that's why I said I don't want to survive this because for some reason I was having a hard time making that leap myself. And I knew this was going to provide me that opportunity to do it.

Yeah.

So while everybody else was like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna be laid off, what am I gonna do? I was in that mentality of like, yes, please, thank you, thank you, Universe. You know, this is— unfortunately, that was what I needed. You know, again, yet again.

Yeah. Here's another sign.

I mean, as, as if, because I was in adrenal fatigue, I was burned out. I have health issues beyond anything. I mean, I had everything just happening over and over and over again. Those weren't enough.

And I think that's the, the interesting thing is that So, you know, sometimes we look at our business or our career, our health, our relationships, our hobbies or whatever as standalone things in silos, right? But which can work when everything is, I guess, on some degree when everything is going well. But when one of those things falls off or when we get stressed out at work or we get burnt out or when a relationship isn't working out or when our health is in the tank, um, then everything seems to kind of collapse on itself. Because everything— we're not all of these different lives. We are one life that has different aspects to it, right? And instead of staying stuck in one place, we have to at least that was my experience. We have to clear the slate so that we can make room for other things to come into our lives. Has that been your experience?

It's that. And, you know, I, I've worked with women that, you know, have had like family issues. When that goes off, that can be like the tipping point for them.

Yeah.

And that happens. And it's, it's like you just said, it's that seesaw. And everything ends up going down and it's like, I've gotta get off this ride.

Yeah.

Because that's their universe saying, you know, look what's happening. Your world's been revolving over here. Now this is happening over here and you've gotta give that attention cuz you've been, honestly, you've been lacking in it. I mean, I know I've done it too. I'm not gonna sit there and, and say I was great and wonderful. But, you know, it's also a thing of when you're in your mind and you're thinking, I can control all these things, I can control— because as women, we're told, you know, you've got to do all these things, you've got to balance all these balls. And when one ball, like, goes down or up, we've got to be like, okay, I can handle this over here, and I'll be juggling these over here. And it's like No, you can't do that. You've got to learn how to actually first start taking care of yourself, get back into your own body, learn how to, you know, start trusting yourself, start listening to yourself. Because for one, you can see those signs before they even start happening.

Well, you can certainly feel them because we might not all be able— you and I have talked about this before— we might all be— not all be able to see the signs, but we can sure as hell feel them. Yeah.

And everybody, you know, has, you know, intuition in them. And until you start slowing your world down, you do not see it.

You have—

everybody has that ability of that sense of knowing. Knowing, you know, because you'll get these little messages. And the way you know the difference between knowing and mind fear base is knowing doesn't make any sense at all. It's like this little message, like, what? And then the mind and fear base usually at that point will start to come in and say, no, you can't do that. That's ridiculous. Don't do it. But you know, when you hear these mind fear-based messages alone, they all are rational, you know, they make sense in the moment with what's ever going on in that moment. And that's how you know, okay, that's a mind thing that's going on. And that's when you start overanalyzing. But when it's an intuitive message. It just comes out and says, you need to do this.

Yeah. So how do people learn to listen to that if they're not used to listening?

It's really slowing your body down. Um, the way I always talk is I use myself as that, that person. Because I had to literally first start breathing. It's amazing how you don't breathe. Yeah, you breathe up here, and that's not where you're supposed to breathe. And you'll notice it because your shoulders are humped. Yeah, they're very tight. I remember people used to come up to me and just put their hands on my shoulders, and it was like, oh my gosh, you're so tight. And I was like, no, I'm not. What do you mean? And but when you start breathing, you know, using your diaphragm and actually breathing in, you know, I remember my body starting to clench up, you know, when I get certain emails, and it's just starting to recognize these things of, you know, when you open an email How does your body feel? You know, start breathing. You know, do short meditations. Meditation can itself— people think of, you know, sitting still, you know, just meditating for like 20 minutes, silence, no thinking. And meditation is all-encompassing, whatever it feels good for you. So, and that's where it really helps working with somebody because they can help you go, okay, that didn't work for you. Okay, let's try this.

So I hear a lot about meditation and mindfulness, right? How do you describe that difference? Because I think people who think about meditation think what you said, you know, sitting on the mountaintop, lotus pose, not thinking about anything up in the clouds. And most people, I would say 99.5% of the population cannot do that. Um, but mindfulness, I feel, is much more accessible. So what are some— how do you— what's the difference for you? And how— yeah, just take us there.

To me, they both work together.

Okay.

Meditation to me is just one part of mindfulness. Mindfulness is just starting to get your, your mind out of the picture and you start to recognize how to get back into your body. You know, mindfulness encompasses like, I'm sitting here with my window right here, and I have a, a zelia bush outside, and it's got little leaves on it. And I use this like as a practice and as, as an example of a practice, because you can start out with something so small as just to look at that leaf just for a couple of seconds, because it takes your mind out of the picture. And then you start looking at that leaf later and wanting to describe the leaf. How does it look? How would it feel? And these things are more of the mindfulness practice.

Okay.

Where it's just really working on getting your mind out of that picture.

So would you say mindfulness is akin to presence? Mm-hmm.

Okay. Yeah, it's just, and it's slowing, slowing you down because you know how many times, like I said before, you know, it's just that, that rat race.

Yeah.

And you know, that's, that's what we have to do, especially in corporate. We're, we're trained, you gotta get this done, this done, this done, all these tasks, but nobody really tells you, you know, how to really do it effectively. Because if somebody came to you and said you need to slow things down, it's like, I can't. Yeah, because I won't be as an effective, you know, worker or manager or anything. And that's BS. When you start slowing things down, you're able to actually see what you're doing. You're, uh, you know, you can see if you make mistakes, you could see where you can bring things in, how you can do your work more effectively. You get creative. You can actually, you know, start flowing from one thing to another. You're not always, you know, grabbing one thing and then doing another, and then this happens and that happens, even in those busy jobs.

You know, it's funny because you say, you know, that's what we have to do. But I think in terms of being in the corporate world, right, that we have to constantly be running. And it's what we've been told we have to do, or it's what we feel we have to do, but it's not what we have to do, right? It's being able to take that step back and recalibrating, I think, what's, you know, what's important, and not feeling like we have to run after, after things.

Well, you know, it's even came down to a lot of my positions involved a lot of reporting and putting reports together.. And it was like, okay, what did you calculate from these reports? What should we be doing? And in the beginning, I was going totally off of those reports because I felt I could not trust myself enough to make those decisions because I was taught it had to come from—

mm-hmm.

Just the facts. Where was this coming from? Whereas a lot of the things I was doing, you know, really didn't come from those sheets of paper. I was learning, no, where was I feeling this from? So I started experimenting and going more from the intuition. And when I was doing those intuitive hits, like I say, every one of us has, I was getting like 99%, 100% on those. It was better than the reports. You know, and it was just a sense of knowing. I knew that we needed to do this. I knew we needed to do this. Where did it say it? It didn't.

It didn't.

Yeah, but you know, at that point in time, it was looked at as like, you can't do that.

Yeah, I think it goes back to trusting ourselves, right? We have to trust that what we're feeling is right instead of what we're thinking being right. Because especially, I think, when we've been, you know, having been in the corporate world for so long, it's like, again, it's just the facts, ma'am, right? You got to trust the facts. But at the same time, there's some— facts only would work really well if we were robots. Right, because then it's just purely numbers and data points, but it's not just, just about that.

Yeah, you know, then there's some positions that it, it truly is the numbers game. Yeah, but then there's some where it's like, no, we wouldn't have to be running so many reports. If we were actually doing it intuitively. Yeah, but it's a fear-based mentality of we can't make decisions until we look at these 5 reports. Yeah, it's instead of looking at maybe one report and saying, where do we feel we should be making this decision from? I mean, there's a lot of CEOs that have admitted that they think intuitively.

Ah, interesting. And makes sense.

Yeah, but the thing is, when you go down the, down the chain more and more, it's like, I don't know, I have to do this. Yeah, I'm being told to do this. Yeah, I can't do that. Yeah, and that's where I think that box—

yeah, but I think that goes also back to what you were saying before about being fear-based, right? Because people are fearful, especially most recently when you hear about all the changes going on at Microsoft, at, um, what is it, Google and Amazon and all of this. People are going to be fearful because there's a lot of crap going on out there right now.

Yeah, you know, and there is, there's going to be, there always is. I mean, one of the times I got laid off was You know, after 9/11, nobody would take— you know, and I started thinking about this because nobody would take a resume, nobody would take a call, nobody was doing anything. You were just like trying your best to get anything out there. And you know, it was like you couldn't network with anybody because anybody that was like had the job was like, I'm not gonna, not gonna jeopardize my job by saying anything. And I just remember going through that. But, you know, I found a job. Yes, it was with a temp agency, but that ended up getting me to another job. My mom was in an elevator with a lady that owned an agency, and she turned to my mom and said, do you know of anybody that can do this job? My mom said, my daughter, serendipity. And I had to go in there like begging because it was like way down here, and she took the chance on me, and she was like, you were the best chance I ever took.

That's awesome.

But things will happen. They get uncomfortable for us because we at these times sometimes You know, we're being taught to look at what's going on around us. I mean, during that time, I was allowed to spend time with my, my son. He was young at the time and going through some stuff. And I got that time to spend with him. Whereas I wouldn't have gotten it any other way. Because I was in that, oh no, I have to get another promotion. And I was about to get another one, and I was like, yes, but that was going to be more time, you know, spent doing my job and everything else. And, you know, and more stress. And me being laid off, you know, gave me the opportunity to go, funk. Yeah, hey, look at what's going on around you, and it can get uncomfortable. Nobody's gonna say it's not.

Yeah. And that's why a lot of people don't do the shadow work and they don't do their trauma work and everything, because it is uncomfortable and it's painful and it's, and it's hard.

So, um, but so is going through your life, not looking at who you are, who you want to be, or who you're meant to be, really.

Yeah.

Because we talk about purpose, and purpose isn't actually something that you go after or you learn. It's you. You're already living your purpose. It's how are you actually embodying who you are. And when I say that, it's like, are you grounding into yourself? Are you acknowledging yourself? Are you sitting there, you know, trusting yourself enough to sit there and radiate who you were supposed to be? And that has nothing to do with a job or anything that can lead to jobs, but it's just you. It's your soul's purpose. You signed on for this when you came down.

Which is interesting because that was actually going to be my next question for you, which is, what is your sense of purpose in life? How did you find it and how do you strive to fulfill it every day?

It was a lot of soul searching. And, you know, when mine started out, because I was in adrenal fatigue, I was burned out. I was getting migraines like back to back to back. And I, for years, I was on migraine medication. I had a doctor that was told me I was like on the borderline of having a stroke.

Wow.

Hey, you know, and they all related to the same thing, but yet still I was like chugging along. No, I mean, I gotta do these jobs. For years I did that, and then I got to this point where I remember it was a 5-day migraine and It kept going and no medicine was helping. And I already take— at that point I was taking the daily migraine medicine, several different ones. And then I had to take another one when I got the migraine. Nothing was helping.

Wow.

And then I was taking other pills on top of it, and I was just like, I just want to curl up and die. But I was still at work. And then I called my doctor and I said, I need to come in. And I justified to my boss saying, I will only be gone an hour. It'll just take me an hour. I got there and she told me, I want you to go into the hospital. And I made an excuse and I said, I, I can't go into the hospital. There's no reason why I should have been in the hospital. My blood pressure was out of control. I had a tension headache on top of a migraine. It was— I had to really do a bunch of stuff on top of that and just like do nothing for days. And I was like, but I don't want to be in the hospital. So I opted to come to my house and do it there. And I had been calling my boss and telling him I'm not coming back. I won't be there for, you know, like a week. And that was when I was like, you've got to do something different. Yeah. Because this is not getting any better.

Like Danger Will Robinson, danger. Yeah.

And you know, then it just kept— I was starting with my health, started looking at my health, and then I realized, you know, behind health was trauma. And that gets trapped in your cells. So then I started looking at a lot of healing. And, you know, I just kept going on and on, you know, for years I had, I had done the therapy, not saying there's anything wrong with therapy, therapy is one part. I was beyond that. I couldn't hear, you know, what I was supposed to do anymore. I couldn't listen to myself, you know, and I just really had to slow my world down. And that's when mindfulness and meditation— I always say they saved my life because they did, you know. And it was the first part of me really looking at myself, taking care of myself, loving myself, which nobody ever showed me how to do.

I think that's one— that's something, right? Nobody ever tells you how to love yourself, right? And I think the best definition of self-love that I heard recently was treating yourself like you would your best friend, right? And that's, I think, the thing that's— of what I've heard in the past, probably the one that resonates the most because it's so tangible. And it's part of what— it's been part of my journey as well, where my self-talk was abysmal.

Oh yeah.

And one day I was talking to myself, saying a whole bunch of not so nice things, and for some reason I was like— I paused and I was like, you wouldn't say this to anyone. Why is it okay for you to say it to yourself? And that's kind of how things started to shift for me. It was that one moment of, you know, of awareness.

Yeah, you know, you say that and I was like, yeah, when I say those emails that would pop in, I had this one boss that, you know, he liked to We all have this one boss. We send these emails that nobody should ever send because, you know, they're not recognizing how they're actually coming across. And I don't mean, you know, oh, they should just, you know, rewrite it, rewrite it. I'm meaning just totally just putting everything out there that they shouldn't say, throwing up on their people. Mm-hmm, definitely. And every time I got his email, it was just like a trauma response that I would get. So it started there, and I would talk negative to myself. I would notice my breathing like this, my shoulders, everything was like this. And that's when I really started realizing, because it was the friend thing. I use that to this day. Okay, listen to how you're talking to yourself. You haven't even seen the email already. You're sitting here saying you're stupid, you're never going to get this, you're— oh my gosh, you know, you're going to screw this one up again. You know, you probably did something wrong. That's why he's emailing you. Look, here's another email. Oh my gosh, you know, and I just start going down this little path. And then I was like, it's an email. Yeah, it's an email and it doesn't mean the end of the world. Nobody's coming down the hall with a cleaver and is gonna, you know, do something to your head off. Yeah, yeah, it's just a flipping email. Take, you know, a minute, regroup. Breathe and talk positive to yourself, saying, I got this. And I learned to sit there and say something positive 3 times. You're wonderful, you know, or I got this, you can do this, something. And when I started doing those things, it was like it put this in my head of, okay. And I noticed my posture changing. I noticed my breathing changing. And, you know, that's why I say it's these little things that we do that can actually change us.

Yeah, yeah, I totally— sorry, totally aligned with you there because it makes me think about when people talk about relationships. Right? You're in a loving relationship with a partner, and it's the little things that we do with each other every day, right? The little things that I do for him, the little things that he does for me. It's generally not the big things. The big things are nice, don't get me wrong, but it's really what keeps a relationship strong is those little micro things that happen every single day. And if we don't have that with ourselves, then we don't really have a relationship with ourselves, in my opinion, right?

Well, you know, when we go to self-love, the reason why self-love is really so important, it shows you how you— when you know how to love yourself, you can learn what's important to you. If you don't love yourself, you don't know what's important to you in the first place. So when you're allowing somebody else to come into your life, you can't tell them, this is important to me. You can't communicate that because you don't know. And it's not saying that if you're in a relationship and your self-love is like in the wrapper Sorry, um, that, you know, the relationship is going to have problems. It's just saying, you know, you have to learn how to communicate that because you have to learn how— what is important to you. So that's why I say, you know, self-love goes everywhere, you know. And a lot, a lot of my self-love was coming from work.

Yeah, well, you were getting validation, maybe not necessarily self-love, but you were getting validation just like I was.

But exactly, yeah. And I call it self-love because it's what it was. It was affirmations, it was validations, it was everything was coming from, oh, that was a good job, okay, yeah, okay, that was a bad job, okay, good job, bad job, okay. I was like hanging, I was like the dog hanging on every word going Yeah, you know, and I didn't realize it until, you know, when I had to start bringing, you know, everything in, and I was like, okay, it's exhausting, isn't it?

Yes.

And that's, that's the way it was. And I'm an empath, sensitive, and that's just even worse because I feel everything from everybody. And back then, you know, I was letting it all just come in without any boundaries. And then I'm sitting here going back and forth, and I was just like, oh my gosh.

So how has your understanding of legacy and purpose evolved over the course of your life? And how do you see it, or do you see it continuing to change in the future, or do you think you're pretty much on the right path?

I mean, I— okay, purpose I don't see actually changing. What I do with that purpose, definitely changing, if that makes sense. Yeah, because we— if we stay in one thing forever, we're going to get stagnant. We are here to grow, we're here to flourish, we're here to, you know, spread our message and That's what we do. I mean, yeah, it's changed over the years because it was somebody else's vision and then it became mine. And now it's like, you know, I'm about to go into another— in days, another Saturn return. And, you know, my first Saturn return was Yeah.

And is that another story for another day?

Yeah, definitely. But you know, this one I'm like, bring it on.

Cool.

You know, I don't, I'm not fearful. It's just like, bring on the changes. I know I can handle it. And I know it's, I look at the excitement of it.

So, and sometimes it's— I love that you said that, looking at the excitement part of it, because if I contrast that to when you were in corporate and you weren't— you were in the rat race, you saw the changes, but you associated change with fear, whereas now you see the change, but you associate change with excitement. One, one is restrictive, right? The other one is expansive. And it's a small thing to, to look— it's, it's a small different way to look at it that makes a big difference.

Well, you know, even when I would be in interviews or, you know, whatever conversation it was, when they would say Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I hated that question.

Can I tell? I hate that question. I still hate that question.

Well, and you know, there's some of us, you know, by Human Design I've learned we don't see life that way. We really don't. And so it's normal. It just go, just go with it and say, you know, that, that's fine. We don't see it. But, and I'm even one of those, but now the way I look at it, when somebody would ask me that question, I would feel like this, and I feel closed in because, and the reason why is because I had to give you that answer that you wanted to hear.

Yeah.

And so many times, especially if I already had that job, I was like, not here. How many times do we say that? Yeah, I don't want to be here. I hear this all the time too. I'm not going to be here. I'm going to be doing something else. I'm either going to be at a different company, or, you know, I'm going to have your job, or I'm going to have that job. I'm, you know, how many times do we sit there and say that? Yeah, we've got to get to this point where It's like somebody says it and we're allowed to go, this is what I want. And that's where I'm at at this point in my life. This is what I want, you know?

But you can't do that unless you have certainty about who you are, right? Because if I don't know who I am, then how do I know what I want? Exactly.

So, and some of it comes through time, and some of it— I mean, there's a lot. We, we, like I said, we change, but we're born with this, you know? And that's why it makes it so much fun to sit there and watch people grow into it.

And it's like, it's almost like I mean, I hate to use this analogy, but it's the one that's coming to mind. When you have a wound, right, and you get a scab, it's almost like figuring out that tender piece under the scab, right? Because that's the real— that's the real part. But then the scab falls off and You know, new skin comes in and it becomes part of everything else. And unless you reinjure it, you might not go again in that soft, tender, tender part.

And it's how you took care of that. You know, there's those times that we don't take care of those, those spots and we just let it go. And then it just, you know, It keeps having problems with black appeals, you know, all those, those words that I'm going to use. Um, but it keeps, you know, getting re-injured and everything else. But when we take care of it, it's the healing process underneath. And then when it comes off, sometimes you don't even see.

Yeah. Yeah.

That you were hurt underneath. And Sometimes you do. And I mean, you know, even if you do, it's just that spot of, you know, this is, this is that story. Yeah, this is what happened. Listen to what happened that day. Yeah, this is what I got, but this is my, you know, my trophy, my wound, you know. But look at the, the, you know, with grace and, you know, with compassion, what happened during that story.

Yeah, it's, uh, it's those, uh, you should see the other guy moment.

Yeah, definitely.

So, so what are some of the struggles that maybe you have, you have faced, or challenges, or, um, and how did you get— and I know we all face a lot of challenges and a lot of, you know, tribulations, so what, what's one that comes to mind, and how did it help you grow?

You know, that's my book. Um, okay. But you know, I say, you know, I have so many, but you know, I was in a really bad marriage And when I got out of that, I know that whole thing gave me so much strength in that process because I did not realize how strong I was. And that was the biggest thing I took out of it. And even during one of my layoffs you know, because I became a single parent after that. Um, when I got laid off, I'm sitting here facing, you know, now you're gonna have to— you don't have a job, you're gonna have to support him again. And I had already gone through these things before, but it wasn't just a different time because I had been going up that ladder and I was making pretty good money and everything. So I was like, oh, So when I got laid off, I sat there and I saw the papers. I knew it was coming, and they were like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And I was like, I'll be fine, because he gave me that, that foresight to see. I haven't— I've been homeless. I've, you know, been trying to figure out where food's coming from. I've tried to feed my son with that, you know. It's just all these things that I've been through in my life and realizing I've been okay during those times. It's been rough, it's been hard, but at those times I'm still here. I still have my story, and it got me to this place.

You know, I think we forget because we're so caught up in the rat race, right? We forget that we've survived all of the shitty things that have happened in our lives, right? And we've grown, grown stronger. We've learned tremendous amounts of information and lessons, and, you know, we have insight. But it— unless we pause We don't think— we kind of take them for granted. And when something new, some new challenge comes on, we're always like, how am I going to handle it? And we forget that you've got years of the stuff behind you that you've survived and that you've thrived through. Go back, right? And think about what can you bring in from the past to help you to make it through this new challenge.

Yeah, I mean, that's— that was always something I looked at, you know, is first breathe and first understand this is not the end of the world. We're here, you know, not just to do our purpose or, you know, what we're that, that thing. We're actually here where there's a thing called a, a core wound, something that— a challenge in our life, and it will come up over and over and over again until we sit there and actually work through it.

So that, that's related to what I always hear in the personal development community: a challenge will continue to show up until you learn the lesson.

Okay. And you know, when I started look— you know, learning these tools, I was like, that was a big one. And mine was exhaustion. And I'm going to tell you, when I saw that, I was like— I can't tell you how many times I would be like, I'm exhausted, I'm exhausted. And this was also— it's known as the biggest you know, area for cancer, for major illnesses, everything. Because you will work yourself to death, you will end up with a major illness, and you just go down this big trajectory with your health. It's one of the, one of the big things that I take away from it. And that's the shadow side of it. And I was like, Sorry. And with the stories I've sat there and shown you, can you not see that in me? Where I sat there and I did that over and over and over again, and I was like— and at the same time going, I'm exhausted. Yeah, no wonder I was exhausted, you know.

I feel you.

And, you know, I, I just sit there and I look back at my life going Well, hopefully I learned that one. Yeah. You know, if I start to get really tired and everything, I'm— I, I will admit there's times when I have problems going, I'm just going to rest. If my body's caught being called to rest, it's like, you need to rest.

Yeah.

Just rest. Because there's this thing inside you where it's like, no, I can't. I've got to be doing this. No, because if you don't, that's usually when you'll end up getting sick, because something's telling you, okay, you didn't listen to me, so you're going to be resting now.

Now pay.

I'll make you rest. You're gonna be in that bed.

So what kind of— like, who have you become over the course of your of your journey? Like, because, you know, we— you talked a lot about having that balance of work and then also taking care of yourself. So tell us about a little bit more about Linda today versus Linda of corporate times, let's say.

Um, I used to be that person that would listen to everybody else, not trust myself, um, not believe in myself.

Are you a recovering people pleaser?

Oh yeah, people pleaser. Recovered people pleaser had awful boundaries. I mean, these are things that, especially as empaths and sensitives, we learn how to— some people take it the wrong way, but we learn how to manipulate our stories to sit there and put ourselves back because we're taking care of everybody else, because that's what we think our mission is. Oh, I've got it. I'm feeling what you feel, so I'm going to take care of yours. But our stuff, we put it in the back. Then we tell people we're fine, we're doing great. Nothing's wrong. I'm fine. I'm dying over here, but fine. I can take care of your stuff.

It reminds me of the— I don't know if you've seen the cartoon about the dog standing in front of the house. The house is on fire and he's standing in front of the house. He's going, it's fine.

That's exactly it. That is exactly it. And that was, that was me. I'll be fine. I was the one that, you know, I always told my mom, you know, I was the one that will— I'll be taking care of everything, you know. I'll, I'll have— because, you know, even after she passed, I was the one that handled all the duties, you know. And I'm an only child. So I mean, that's the way it rolls. But you know, it wasn't until after she passed, I ended up with a huge migraine. So I wasn't even taking care of myself again. And that was right, right after I got the notice that I was going to be laid off. I wasn't actually laid off for a year after that. And it was like, wow, you know. Yeah. And so that was me. Now it's totally, you know, I listen to my body. I, you know, and I, I make mistakes, but I am really tuning into who I'm supposed to be. How I'm supposed to show up in life. Um, I don't— I'm not listening to the fear. If I feel that fear in my body, I go into it and say, where is this? Is it my fear or is it somebody else's? Because that was a big thing that I was taking on everybody else's fears. So when I was feeling this, oh, I can't do this, this is wrong, you know, even like, I can't pay these bills. I was like, where's this coming from? It wasn't there a while ago. And I have to start listening and learning how to work with that and how to release it and say, this isn't mine to hold, and work with those things. So it's just a total different— I'm a lot more calmer, I'm a lot more just in tune with, I guess, who I am. And I'm still, you know, growing.

Yeah, centered comes to mind.

I love that.

So, so what would you say has been your biggest lesson?

Um, just the fact that I needed to listen to myself.

Okay.

And trust myself. Listening and trusting.

Talking about your intuition.

Yeah, because it was, you know, there was so many messages ever since I was little that I shouldn't allow, you know, even because I was very intuitive. I have all the clairs. I have, you know, all these different things coming in. You know this. And I would hide them because I was told it was unsafe and people wouldn't like me, people wouldn't want to be around me, everything else. And now it's like, you, you, this scares you or you don't like this, that's fine. It's not anything that I've done.

Yeah, it's theirs to deal with, not yours to take on.

And I'm okay with that. I'm not here to, you know, please everybody. Yeah, you know, there's certain people that will gravitate, and then there's certain people that aren't ready for it, and that's fine. You know, I can— somebody told me this, and I totally agree with it— I can meet your woo where you're at, because I know some people are like this, this big, and those are like my mentors and everything. And then there's some people that are like in the middle, and there's people are just getting started.

Yeah, very true. So what would you tell a woman who is struggling to find her purpose?

You know, it's a, it's a balancing thing. Um, first, I structured my programs just for this reason, because, you know, you— until you relearn some of those patterns that you've been taught from, you know, early on, and you get out of your mind. So it's like learning your boundaries, learning people pleasing, you know, when do these show up, why are these showing up, just doing these techniques. And then, because some people aren't ready to really explore their purpose or whatever it is, so you have to relearn that. And then you're able to, what I call, unlock who you are. And it's the unlock phase, that's when you, you see who you're here to be. And you start to bring those things in and learn how to bring them in by several different tools. And then the last one is embody who you are. So it depends on what phase you're in, because, you know, it's not a thing of being able to say, okay, well, you know, it's a one-size-fits-all, because not everybody's in the same place. And even some people are like kind of like in the middle of a couple of different things too.

So for you, purpose is not something that's out there to be chased. It's something that lives inside us. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Definitely. Yeah, because when we, you know, find out these things that are inside us, and I mean, these tools that I use are not something that we go, oh, okay, I live by these tools. It's just like things that we allow to sit within us, understand, learn, and go, what do I take away from this? What parts I pick and choose. And I don't understand this. You don't understand it, then put it over here to the side. But I get this, this one I see in myself. Okay, then bring that in. And it's not like you change anything. I see this in myself. Okay, well, there you go. Let's see how you can see it in yourself even more. Grow this.

Cool. Love it. So we're gonna wrap up in a minute, but before we do that, do you have a win that you wanna share with everyone?

This is maybe sound corny, but I mean, I win every day.

Cool.

There's something I take away every day. It's a win.

Very nice. Nice. And what are you grateful for?

You know, I'm grateful for, I say, you know, the community I have around me, my friends, my family. The ability to be myself in a world that I never thought I honestly could be.

Nice.

You know, I think that's the biggest thing I'm grateful for. And to do, you know, something that, you know, encourages me to grow every day.

Yeah, very cool. Very cool. All right, so where can people find you?

Um, it's— you can— my website is ichoosemindfulness.com, or you can follow me on Instagram. It's _ichoosemindfulness.com. Okay, I'm also on LinkedIn, but I don't do a whole lot on LinkedIn right now.

So either your website or Instagram. All right, very cool. So before we sign off, I have one last question for you, which is, what does living a purposeful life mean to you?

Being authentic, being you, you know, don't let anybody tell you that you can't do something where, you know, you feel called to. If you feel a sense of calling or yearning inside you, find out where it's coming from. Yeah, especially if you're getting those, those hits where something telling you, you need to be doing this, you need to be doing this, you know. And you may not be hearing them all the time, you may just hear them every once in a while, and that's because you're not embodying, you know, you're not getting into your body You're still in your mind because your mind babysitting. You're saying, once you get that intuitive hit, oh, you can't do that, you can't do that, you can't do that. So it's drowning it out. You can't even hear it.

Okay, okay, cool. Thank you, Linda. It was such a pleasure having you here with us today. And, um, you know, let's stay connected, let's stay in touch. And, uh, until next time.

Thank you so much for having me. I really enjoyed it.

Me too. Take care.

Okay, too.