A woman describes the moment during an argument when she realized she didn't like who she became with her husband. It took eighteen months to act on that realization, wrestling with how to soften the blow before she decided the pain would be inevitable either way and signed the divorce papers.
"Oh my God, who is this person?" That's what I heard in my head when I was in the middle of an argument with my former husband, and that's when my light bulb went off and I realized that I didn't like who I was when I was with him. And the reason that I didn't like it is because I was hurt, and because I was hurt, I wanted to hurt him. And it was so completely out of character for me. And that was the moment that I made the decision that it was time to go. But it still took about a year and a half from the time that I had that moment to the time that the papers were signed, because in the beginning I was trying to look for ways to make it less painful for him to hear that I wanted to break our marriage. And at one point I realized that it didn't matter how I put it, it didn't matter what I said or how I said it, I was still going to hurt him. So I made that decision to put myself first and finally pulled the trigger. And that's when I began to rebuild. I'd love to hear how this resonates for you, and more importantly, does it bring up anything? And if you feel like sharing, I'd love to hear.
