A seven-year relationship built on friendship ended despite genuine love, because the partners were fundamentally incompatible in personality, timing, and life goals. The breakup hit harder than a loss the speaker experienced at 19. Couples counseling revealed each partner wanted something different, proving love wasn't enough to bridge the gap.
I still don't understand how we very lovingly stayed together for those 7 years, 'cause we were good friends today, but we were very incompatible. Time, place, personality, kind to each other, but lousy relationship. But I was still somehow, or I thought I was, really in love. And so when she announced to me that we were done, I grieved in ways that I did not grieve the 19-year-old, 'cause that was a very long, process of change and growth. But one of the things I remember noticing in myself and in just one of these moments of— I had periods, we actually went to a few sessions of couple counseling, which I thought was to help us get back together. I didn't know we didn't have the same agenda.
