Why Healing Starts with Self Kindness | A Wellness Conversation with Health Stylist Gina Kroezen

Hello everyone. This is our first time, so this is like, we're going to iron out all the technical difficulties and all of the stuff that we're not quite sure is going to work. But that said, thank you for your patience and thank you for being here if you are watching us live. Today I have the lovely Gina Crosin, who is a health stylist. So I wanted to bring her in to just share what her story is, share how she supports her community, and see if there are synergies and connections to be made. So, Gina, welcome.

Thank you, Alex. Thank you for having me here. I'm so, so excited to be here.

I'm excited to have you here. You're my— so for everyone who's watching, Gina's my first guest, so this is so special and so exciting. Stupidly nervous, I don't know why.

Look at the colors. Huh? Look at the colors.

I know, we're like right there. All right, Gina, why don't you tell the ladies of the Divorced Women a little bit about who you are and what you do?

I'm living in Amsterdam. I'm a health stylist. And what I do is actually I, I studied. I had my own life experience. I studied after I came through this, after I came out of it. I started studying different aspects of stress and what it does to the physical body because I endured a lot of trauma myself and I was constantly sick. I had unexplained health challenges. Up until I was 31. And after that, I decided I wanted to understand and get a grip of it and also help other people to prevent those same things from happening and to spend so many years of their lives figuring out how to get out of it, because it took me quite some time. And so I studied a lot of different modalities, and I blend this And that's why I call myself a health stylist, because it's not just eating healthy, going to the gym, restoring your gut and all these things, but also it's also personal growth, empowerment, all, all the things combined. Because when you start healing your body, you notice that there is more in life than just that being busy with health, physical health. Yeah.

You know, if I think about how many years of my life I have spent thinking about food, worrying about food, thinking about exercise, the fact that I should be doing it, I'm not doing it, beating myself up when I don't do it, all the stress that I went through when I was in corporate. I mean, like, it's amazing the amount of time that you can spend just thinking about those things.

Yeah, and then there is also the question, what, what keeps you from it? What, what is the reason why not? Because that's also one of the biggest questions that a lot of people have, because why should I be doing this, or why shouldn't I be doing this? If you, if you, if I guide people in, in certain questions about food or weight or, or health challenges, it's always they feel that something is stolen from them when I say you shouldn't be doing this. And then it's not in a way that they are not allowed to, but it should be better if you do it different for your health. And then they feel like something is taken away from them. So it's the old mindset, and it's like, yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's quite a challenge for a lot of people, uh, to, to bend this to the other direction.

So when you work with your people, how much of what you do is mindset versus like tangible, physical, physical things?

Yeah, that's very difficult to point that out because it's always connected with each other and it depends on what— where the pain is. Because, uh, today I spoke to somebody who has very, um, low energy, but I could also tell he is a little bit— not really depressed, but down. He got lack of motivation to do things in life and comes from an addiction. So, you know, there are a lot of mental issues. But when we started to talk about his food, and I thought, okay, I can understand why your energy is so low. So then those things work hand in hand. On the other hand, when you're not feeling well in your, in your mind than your ability to choose healthy food. Or abilities, maybe it's not the right word, but you know what I mean. It's easier to go to the easy way because you're looking for dopamine. You want to be rewarded, you want to be quick fix, you want to feel good. So sugar and all these other things are so much easier to fetch than to say, okay, I'm going to cook a really decent meal for my for myself. And that is the question: why don't you choose to take care of yourself in a healthy way? And that's the deeper question. And then if you get there, then all the other answers will come.

Is it really— is it always a choice though? Because sometimes we do the things that we do without even feeling like we have a choice?

Yeah, that's a different question because we always have a choice, only it's not always the knowing and not the awareness because we are raised in a certain way and we are taught in a certain way to eat. But if it's, if it's compromising your health on, on any way, if it's mentally, physically, or whatever it is, and you're not feeling well and you keep on doing the same things while, while you know, if you do or not know, if you do it in another direction or find another direction, why are you not doing it?

Yeah, and it's, it's that internal searching, right? Yeah, I'm learning more about and dealing with our traumas and dealing with all of the things that have led us to make the choices that we make.

So Yeah, and it's not always— it has nothing to do with blame or laziness or whatever things people always say, but it's also just the not knowing. It's the same with if you have food intolerances and you don't know it and you keep on eating things and you have pain in your belly, then you say, yeah, then I have pain in my belly. Yeah, that's it. But that's not the answer.

Yeah, no, for sure. And it's— I recently actually discovered that eggs are not my friends. Like, I'm okay if I eat them.

I'm okay.

But if I stop eating them for a long time and then they come back in, not a good combination. And I would have never known that had I not gone through this process of taking things out right, and then bringing them back in to see how my body, how my body reacts. Is that something that you do with, with some of your clients?

Yeah, I do, I do functional lab tests because a lot of people have an intolerance for, for chicken eggs, and it can also be the food that the chicken gets that you're intolerant for. So it's, it's not always that, that easy, and it can be the, the chicken white or the chicken yellow, the, the As we say it in Dutch, I don't know.

Yeah, it's the, the, the white and the yolk. Okay, that's what it's called.

Yeah, so that can be two different things. So, um, and if you eat a lot of eggs, or you eat every day those eggs, and you have the same feeling and you don't know, and indeed you stop with eating them, and then afterwards you eat them again, then you know what's happening.

Definitely. It's, uh, I, I find the, the functional testing super interesting because you, unless you're like violently ill, yeah, you don't realize that you may have allergies to some things, right? Just like I didn't realize that I had an intolerance to eggs. I didn't, didn't know that. Um, But when you start to dig, you know, that's when things get really interesting. Yeah.

And it can be very healthy food that you can be intolerant for. Yeah.

I have a friend who's allergic to chicken.

And maybe it's not the chicken.

Maybe. Maybe. But when she eats it, no bueno. So, you know, in the group we have women who are going through divorce or have gone through divorce. And I remember when I went through mine, one of the things was that I didn't really take very good care of myself. So what would be like, what is something that you might be able to share to remind our audience that you know, they— it's something that can— that helps them through is partly how we take care of ourselves. It's our self-care, it's, it's our health. So what would be one or two recommendations that you might make to somebody who's going through a big life change like that?

Yeah, what, what the most important thing is that, that I've feel is that we need to be more soft to ourselves instead of being so hard on ourselves. We need to harden up, we need to be strong, and we need to carry all these things. And, uh, oh, you know, those, those women who I speak to also, yeah, let's say we, um, and then it's more important just to find the softness back because it's just being more soft and more polite to yourself instead of being so, so terribly strong for the outside world that you can do it by yourself and alone. And I've been there too because I was Fort Knox at a certain point. So, you know, and that's— nobody, nobody is happy with that, you know, and especially yourself because you're, you're getting this, this concrete wall between you and the outside world. And it's also, uh, good to ask for help, of course, and that's a very hard thing to do because especially if you have been hurt in a certain way. And so I think if you want to take care of yourself, then it's really important to be gentle with yourself and find a way to be more soft instead of being strong, independent, I can do it on my own.

And it's interesting because I fully fully agree with you. I think we need to extend ourselves the grace that we often extend to other people when they're, they're struggling. But it is a bit of both, right? Because we still have to be strong, right? Because we have to be able to make it every day. And sometimes it's, you know, getting out of bed is showing strength. And we also have to be kind to ourselves because I think we're so used to that masculine push, push, push, you know, you gotta— that, that really masculine energy that where we forget we're not by nature and not necessarily like that, that we are that nurturing and caring that we so freely give to others. It's like, well, it's got to come back. It's got to come back to us too.

Exactly. And that's what I mean, you know, first do you, first make sure that you take care of yourself before you give that to— yeah, like, like our dear friend Sana always says, before you give that to others, you know, it's like, but in every way, you know, it's not just like mentally and emotionally, but also with caring for yourself, like nurturing your, your food and your, and your, and your exercise. If you're tired, if you're exhausted, why should you go to the gym? So that's, that's not just getting yourself out of bed, but it's also listen to your body, listen what, what it really needs instead of what you think it needs. Because it's always— the mind is so strong in this, and especially after such a situation, you want to keep on going, you in certain situations, always you want to, want to prove that you still have it, you're still capable of things, and all these aspects that come, come across the corner, like, hey, I'm still here. Yeah, yeah.

And I, yeah, I, I very much hear you on giving back to, you know, giving back to ourselves. I think again, we're so conditioned by a society that says it's this way or it's not the right way. Being able to allow ourselves, give ourselves permission, right, to just listen. And that's the other thing is it's not— when you're so used to being up here, coming back here is not so easy.

No, it's around about you.

So how, how do— how does one who is used to spending time up here in their thoughts, how do they then drop back into, into their bodies? What's a simple practice?

Yeah, that's— I think that's a training. That's, that's something that you need to become aware, consciously aware of. Of what do you really need, because it's denying of the need that makes you go to your head every day, every minute of the day. And if you're denying your own needs, how do you know what you need if you've been so long used to doing that? So how are you going to practice that with somebody? So first you have to find out what do you truly need and how are you going to answer to that.

Yeah, answer the calling, right? Yeah, answer what, uh, what our body—

it's so different for everybody, you know. It's like, so it's really, it's specifying what do you need. Because if I ask you now, what do you really need, you cannot—

I need a piece of chocolate.

I have chocolate milk. You cannot give one answer to that. That's especially when you're emotionally and mentally searching for a new way how to build your life.

Yeah, yeah, it's definitely that journey back to ourselves and to our feelings. It's also difficult, I think, when you're going through so many emotions. Like somebody who's just coming out or going through a divorce, is you have so many emotions to contend with that it's also difficult to sit with those emotions and to listen through that to really hear what your heart needs and what your body needs.

And I think I've never been married for— I've never made it that far.

No, but you've been in long-term relationships. I've been in relationships.

Yeah, so, but, um, it's also you, you adjust to the situation. So I, I hear from a lot of people that, and we spoke about it before, like, where is your identity when you, when you, when you come to the point that you have to start over again?

Yeah, and that's the, that's the question. That's the 64— there was a game show in the US called the $64,000 Question. Yeah, Million Dollar Question. Well, Gina, any final words for our ladies? Anything that you'd like to— anything else you'd like to share?

Yeah, I think that listening to your body is more than just going to bed on time, but it's, it's like every little aspect that you can give to your body, which you also would give to somebody else. As listen to it. Um, you know, it starts with waking up in the morning. Be kind to yourself. Start with nourishing food. Do some exercises. Go for a walk. Really be gentle with yourself and listen to your body. And if something is not feeling quite right, then go, go find out what you can do differently to make it right.

Beautiful. Beautiful. All right, Gina, thank you so much. Ladies, uh, we hope that this was helpful for you.