Alexandra Niel explains why unresolved trauma from family relationships makes people choose romantic partners who repeat those painful dynamics. She shares her own story of meeting her late husband after therapy, and outlines how to recognize why harmful patterns feel familiar and how therapy can help break the cycle.
And when I did that, I seemed to have broken the pattern of the past. And I met my late husband shortly after I came out of therapy. I'd known him 14 years. I didn't see him as a romantic prospect. He was far too good for me, which is what many of us women who have had traumatic experiences with our father or brother or whoever, we then start to choose relationships that mirror those relationships. So I didn't, you know, the relationships for me were only right when they were wrong. So, oh, that hurts. That was the pattern. Yeah.
