Alexandra NielDivorce Recovery Coach, ANiel International, LLC. · I help women who held it all together through divorce finally build a life that’s actually theirs | Thrive After Divorce

Why You Need to Have and Control Your Own Finances

8 Feb 2025 · 1 min

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In this personal narrative, the speaker recounts growing up in France with a frugal mindset, limited exposure to credit cards, and strong budgeting and saving habits, only incurring debt for a car payment. In contrast, her partner frequently leased cars, relied heavily on credit cards, and utilized a home equity line of credit—financial tools that were foreign to her. When they built a business together, they combined their credit cards and HELOC, further intertwining their finances. Following their divorce, because much of the credit‑card debt was in her name, she was left responsible for substantial debt, illustrating the risks of not maintaining personal control over one’s finances. The story serves as a cautionary example underscoring the importance of owning and managing your own financial obligations.

Chapters

So I grew up believing that you make do with what you have. We didn't really have this concept of credit cards as much in France and certainly not in my family. So I was good at budgeting, I was good at saving. So I didn't really have any debt except for a car payment because it was just such a big-ticket item, I just couldn't pay for it outright. His philosophy was very different. He leased a car every 2 years. I drove mine into the ground. He relied on credit cards, which I had never done. And when he started building his business, we used our collective credit cards. We used a home equity line of credit, which was even more foreign to me than, than anything else. And when we got divorced, because a lot of the credit card debt was in my name, I ended up getting saddled with it.