Alexandra NielDivorce Recovery Coach, ANiel International, LLC. · I help women who held it all together through divorce finally build a life that’s actually theirs | Thrive After Divorce

Why You're Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men

12 Jul 2025 · 1 min

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In this excerpt from her YouTube video, Alexandra Niel explains why many women repeatedly find themselves with emotionally unavailable or "wrong" partners. She attributes the pattern to each woman's attachment style, which drives them toward people who feel familiar—even when those relationships are unhealthy. Niel emphasizes that, while these choices often feel automatic, they are ultimately decisions that can be changed once a person becomes aware of the underlying attachment dynamics. The core message is that recognizing the role of attachment and familiarity is the first step toward consciously selecting healthier partners.

I talk to women who say, you know, I'm always talking to the wrong guy, I always attract the wrong guy. And, and the thing is, it goes back to what you were saying. Because of the— your attachment style, you attached to people that felt familiar even though it wasn't healthy. So at the end of the day, it is— and people may not realize this, but it is a choice. But you have to be aware that it is a