Alexandra NielDivorce Recovery Coach, ANiel International, LLC. · I help women who held it all together through divorce finally build a life that’s actually theirs | Thrive After Divorce

You Know How to Lift—or Wound—them Choose Intimacy, Not Injury

4 Oct 2025 · 1 min

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In this spoken monologue, the creator describes a personal ritual she performs while her partner drives: placing her hand behind his neck, rubbing his neck, and running her fingers through his hair. She notes how the gesture consistently relaxes and pleases him, even to the point of fearing he might fall asleep at the wheel. She reflects on the broader implication of knowing a partner intimately—being able to both invigorate and wound them. The speaker frames this knowledge as a double‑edged sword and advocates for using such insight responsibly, emphasizing the ethical choice to nurture intimacy rather than exploit vulnerability.

Chapters

We have this little ritual when we're in the car where I will, especially when he's driving, I'll put my hand behind his neck and I'll rub his neck or, you know, run my fingers through his hair while he's driving. And it never fails. It's like, I'm afraid sometimes that he's going to fall asleep at the wheel because it just feels so good to him. But it's when you get to that point where you know each other so well, you know exactly And this is a double-edged sword, right? Because you get to know exactly what makes them come alive, but you also get to know exactly how to tear them down. So it's about using your powers for good and not for evil.