In this solo YouTube talk, speaker Alexandra Niel shares her personal experience of rumination and anxiety during and after her divorce, citing Dale Carnegie’s book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living as a catalyst for a daily‑focus mindset. She introduces a set of ten “Just for today” practices designed to curb over‑thinking, increase presence, and cultivate happiness. Each practice is framed as a one‑day commitment—ranging from choosing happiness, letting go of expectations, caring for the body, exercising the soul through kindness and challenges, being agreeable, tackling one problem at a time, structuring the day with an agenda, carving out half an hour for self‑reflection, to confronting the fear of happiness. Niel encourages viewers to pick one or more practices, try them consistently, and share their experiences. She concludes with a call to action, offering a coaching call for those seeking deeper support in rebuilding life after divorce, with a link provided in the comments.
Chapters
So do you tend to ruminate things over? You know, those crazy mind loops where your monkey brain takes over and gives you the worst possible case scenario about anything that could potentially happen in your life? Chances are none of which are going to happen, by the way. But man, that monkey brain gets going and you're like, let's go, and you get on the hamster wheel of negative thoughts. That's where I was as I was going through my divorce and beyond. I kept imagining all of these scenarios, none of which were likely to come to pass, but it didn't stop my brain from trying to imagine all of these scenarios. So one of the things I had to do was, how do I fix this? How do I stop my brain from going into these overactive moments? And one of the most impactful books that I read is by Dale Carnegie called "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living." And in the book, he talks about how we can do one thing just for one day, right? One of the reasons why we get overwhelmed is because we start imagining these things for days, weeks, months, years out. And at the end of the day, what can we really imagine but what we have going on right now? We can manage today, this moment, and we can all do something for just one day. And these are just 10 ideas to be more present. We can stop spending so much time worrying. So I kind of want to take you through what these 10 things are to see if 1, 2, 5, 10, all of them can apply to whatever is going on in your life. Pick and choose the one that you think is going to be most helpful and then put it into play. So the very first one is: Just for today, I will be happy. And this comes from a quote from Abraham Lincoln that says basically that people can be as happy as they make up their mind to be, right? We can choose, we can choose to be miserable, we can choose to be anxious, we can choose to be angry, we can choose to be happy. What I would say to build on that is forget about the outside world and focus what's going on inside. And if you're not feeling great, dig a little deep to find out what it is that's that's kind of holding you back. Number 2 is: Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is and let go of expectations. One of the things that makes us anxious is because we have certain expectations, but if we drop those expectations and we take things for what they are, life becomes a lot easier. My recommendation is: Look at things for how they are. Look at people for who they are, not what you expect them to be. And that's going to relieve a lot of that anxiety. Number 3 is: Just for today, I will take care of my body. We can all eat well for one day. We can all go to the gym for one day. We can all go for a walk. It's the stacking of the days that really makes a difference. So every day, try to do something that is good for your health and that is good for your self-care. Number 3 is: just for today, I will exercise my soul in 3 different ways. One is to do a random act of kindness without getting found out, right? We see a lot on social media right now about people doing nice things, which is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but the fact that everything's being recorded is makes me feel, and that's just my impression, that these things are being done because of the recognition, because of the fact that it's being noticed. But there's a different kind of energy when you do it and you expect nothing in return. And the other two things that he talks about is to do two things every day that challenge us, two things that kind of get us out of our comfort zone so we can have some different experiences. Number 6 is: Just for today, I will be agreeable. Instead of handing out criticism— I think we can all do that really well. I can tell you my feed is full of people that hand out criticism really well. But what if we started handing out just nice words, kindness? What if we didn't try to find a fault in everything but try to understand that everybody's doing their best? Including ourselves. Number 7 is: Just for today, I will tackle one problem at a time instead of trying to tackle my whole life. Right? We have so many different areas probably that we're all thinking about and working on. Do we really need to focus on all of them? Just stay present, tackle one thing at a time. I'm sure you've heard by now multitasking is an illusion. It doesn't work because the brain doesn't work that way. So just do one thing at a time, be focused, do it with excellence because that's a difference maker. Number 8, Just for Today. I will have a program. Don't leave your day open to chance. That's how everything goes sideways. But if you can find a way to structure your day where you know what you're doing when, first of all, you're not going to spend time during the day like looking around like, okay, what do I do next? What else do I have on my plate? No, set an agenda and stick to your agenda. Are you going to get through everything? Maybe not, but at least you have a place to be, you have a place to start, and you know how your day is going to unfold. So use your agenda as, I like to say, your weapon of mass productivity, because when we really leverage our agenda, we can get a lot of stuff done. Number 9, Just for today, I will have half an hour to myself. How often do we take half an hour just for ourselves? We can do it in the morning if we have a set morning routine. We can do it in the evening. We can do it after lunch. We can do it whenever it fits us. But the point is to really take that time just so that we can be with ourselves, whether it's journaling, meditating, spending time in gratitude, going for a walk. Just spend some time with yourself and learn to like yourself, to love yourself. And doing all these little things really add up. And number 10 is: Just for today, I will be unafraid, and especially I will not be afraid to be happy. I love this one because sometimes there is a fear. If I allow myself to be happy, how long is it going to last? Because we project into the future and we believe that because we haven't had happiness in a while, it's bound to go away. But in that, we also have a choice. We can choose to be happy or we can choose to be miserable. So just for today, just for one day, just choose to be happy. And as I was saying earlier, all of these little things, you don't have to do them all at once, you don't have to do them all in one shot. Maybe you take one and you apply it for a couple of months to see what the impact is that it's making in your life. Which ones are you going to choose? Which one are you going to choose? How are you going to put that into play? And if you pick one, let me know, because I'd love to hear how you're practicing it and how you're putting it into play. And at the same time, if you feel like you need some help on this journey of really thriving after divorce, rediscovering yourself, reclaiming your life, let's hop on a call. I'd love to see if there's a way that I can help. I'll put a link in the comments, and I look forward to hearing from you.
