Dawn Watson: The Power of Forgiveness & Tony Robbins

This podcast is. I love people that have bounced back and it's all about resilience and people that have, you know, just have a story to share because there's so many people out there that can learn through others experiences and other people's experiences. And I had the opportunity to interview someone who helped me through my journey and that his name is Rick Ankiel. And that was just cool. It's just all just. I guess the term is paying it forward. But you just never know out there, someone's going through something similar to our situation and traumatic, internal, external, whatever it is. And this is all about serving and helping people. So I really want to sincerely thank you for taking the time to join me on my show. It really means a lot to me. I wasn't expecting this. It's really cool. Seriously.

No, it's really my pleasure. I mean, I've been. Everybody that's been, you know, connecting with me and sending me messages for me, it's. It's so. It's so important to me because it's really a connection, a soulful connection that. That just incredible when people watch it and be able to really connect in such a strong way that I feel so thankful. You know, I think that if we can live in a world where we don't have to always put on so many masks and try to, you know, live in these masks, but if we can live in a world where it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to be who we are and have that communication with people, it would be. We would live in a beautiful world. So the more and more I'm able to talk about it, share that experience and be able to serve the world with my story, with my lessons, that also makes my life have more purpose and more meaning. And it's. It's really a pleasure. It's not something. Oh, it's. That's so hard. I have to do that, you know, if I have to spend hours and hours talking about that, that's just. That's something I love. So.

I agree.

I was actually born in Brazil, in Sao Paulo, and it was in. It was an American cult called the Children of God, later known to be called the Family. And you know, it was group that started in the 60s and it, you know, it had a David Berg, who's the. The founder of the Children of God. And he, you know, he created this cult in a way that he wanted these young, you know, teenagers, you know, the hippie ages, to be able to have a structure, have family. You know, he Wanted to create a new religion where, you know, we can go out there, talk about love, talk about Christ without having to be in a million rules. And he believed that love and freedom and Jesus was something that you can't put in a box. You can't put rules to that. And so he really captivated all these hippies that felt that their parents never truly understood them. And so he started to recruit many, many and thousands and thousands of teenagers all over the world because he wanted to. He created this family. And they all lived like the disciples. He wanted people to live in these communes as, like, you know, the disciples used to live, having everything in common, dividing everything. And because of that, it became a big blob. There wasn't really a structure of family. It was a bunch of teenagers living all together. And as the years passed by, he began to feel that he had, you know, all these teenagers looked at him as God, as someone that was their guru. Someone, you know, that believed so much in the Bible and everything, but had this twitch of freedom, of love, of, you know, you don't have to be like the churches. So they. They loved him and whatever he said, they would believe. But he began. He began to come up with these crazy revelations that he would call them as, you know, freedom and freedom and sexuality and how to the pure. Everything is pure. And, you know, sexuality is something that's supposed to be pure, which is great. Yes. But he started to mix it with, you know, with God, and that the way that women, you know, were able to express their freedom and express love was through their sexuality. And that began to truly mess up the way that people started to react and act. And. And a lot of abuse began to happen because they thought that they were really doing something, you know, good, living love and sharing love with other people in a way of, okay, this is the way I can express the full expression of my love and God's love. But even if nothing was done in violence, nothing was done in a bad way, in a way of, you know, the way we see things in the outside world, because that's how we were taught. This is the inside world, the world that is closer to heaven because they said we were heaven on earth. And then the outside world is the system where every, you know, where there's rape, where there's abuse, but that's all done in a bad way. That's all done in a very aggressive way, therefore it's bad. But whatever happens here, it's done in love. And so therefore, it. It's not bad. And so all of these beliefs began to create an environment where it wasn't a safe place, especially for us children, because nothing that we. Nothing we never wanted. Not we never wanted, but it was a place where we couldn't decide for ourselves what we wanted or what we didn't want. Everything was the guru, what the guru wanted us to do, what the guru thought, how our life was going to be. And so because of. Because our life was completely controlled by a guru, the fact of who am I? What do I want to do with my life? How is my life going to be? You know, we had no choice. There was no choice of what I want to do in my life. And when I grow up, do I want to become a teacher? Do I want to become a dancer? That that didn't exist was, you're a product of this cult, and you're going to have to live in that culture for the rest of your life. As a child, that was very, very difficult for me. And I think that when I was finally able to leave at the age of 12, because year after year, I just kept on saying, there's something wrong. Even if everything in my mind is being taught that this is right, that this is love, that this is God, that this is the best for my life, something within me kept on saying, this is not the way. This is not love, this is not God. Even if I was being taught that for so many years. And so the conflict of my brain, my mind, that was so manipulated, but something within me, a voice within me saying, there has to be a way out. There is another way out. And that led me to finally being able to leave the community. And when I left the culture, it was a whole other process of who am I? I felt I was robbed from my essence, robbed from my whole childhood. But now I'm in a society where I don't know how to live in a society. You know, I lived in Brazil. I didn't even know how to speak really well in Portuguese. Our whole language was in English. And I felt, you know, completely disconnected from people, like a complete alien, because we never had the opportunity to go to school. Our whole life was inside that cult. And so I think the pain, the suffering, the questions, why did I have to go through this? Why are the people that I love in pain? After years passing by, seeing friends of mine that had left the cult and had taken their lives? And I just felt, I don't want to suffer anymore, and I don't want to see people that I love suffer. But at the same time, I felt I couldn't speak the truth. I didn't know how to live in that space. Because if I spoke it, it's almost like I didn't have permission to say it. I felt completely scared of people's opinions of what they're going to think of me, of what they're going to say, of how am I going to fit into this world. What are the people from the cult going to say about me? And always just in a hundred prisons, not feeling that I could live in a space of freedom within. And that led me one day, after a couple of years passed, I had this great friend and he one day spoke to me and he said, look, you are at the end, you know, you really need to connect with someone before things get really bad on your end. You're just. You're exploding within. And I. And I knew that. I knew that.

I could just see that. He could see that, huh?

He could see that. Because I would verbalize that all the time. I just kept on telling him, I desperately need to release. I have so much inside me and I need a release. I need to break the silence. I need to live in my truth. I just feel that there's no one out there that can hear me. I'm screaming in the top of my voice, but there's no one out there that can truly hear and see me. And he said, look, you need to go and see this guy called Tony Robbins. I never had heard of Tony Robbins before. So I got back home and I started researching everything on YouTube about Tony Robbins. And I saw all of his videos, and for me, it was fascinating because it was a voice that resonated and was the exact same voice that was within me for so long. That was the conflict that I had for so long, saying that there was something more. There was a love, there was a life, there was a way of interacting with yourself that I was like, wow, this guy is talking about things that resonates with me. And I never heard of him before. And I just felt there is a language of the soul and I need to connect with his. And it was just this certainty that I needed to connect with his. I didn't know what I was going to say, what I was going to do, what was going to happen. I. I just said, I need it. And when I got to that point of I can't stand where I'm at right now, I need to liberate, I'm going to do everything I can to get to this, to this soul. It wasn't even about Tony. I Didn't even know really much about him or Date with Destiny. I didn't know what date, what destiny was going to talk about. All I knew was it was, you know, six or seven days that he was going to be there 24, seven. So it was a better chance I could connect with him. So at that time, I had absolutely no money to be able to buy that ticket. And I just felt, you know what? I need to put my priorities right. And right now, for me, I could sleep in the middle of the road. I don't care if I have that connection. That's all that's important to me right now. So I left the apartment I was living in, I sold all my furniture, I rented a tiny little room and I said, you know, this is it, I need to do this. So it was really interesting because a lot of people called me crazy and said, why are you doing this? You don't even know who this person is. And I just felt like it's not about him, it's not about anything. It's about me. I am investing in me. I'm giving it all because there is something that needs to connect and I need to follow this voice. So I got on the plane and when I arrived at Tony Robbins, you know, Date with Destiny, everybody was extremely hyped up. I don't know if you ever participated in a Tony Robbins event, but no.

No, no, I haven't.

You get there and everyone's like, woo, hi, five. And I'm like, not in that fight at all.

Yeah.

So I was just thinking, oh my goodness, where did I get myself? And you know, everybody's like, you gotta smile more. Come on, come on. And I'm just like, no, I'm a woman on a mission. I need to speak to ton. Actually some people left and be like, girl, just to get a photo with him, you have to pay 500 for his project. I was like, what? And so as the days passed, I started to get desperate thinking, what if I don't connect? Like, I started to doubt for the first time that I was going to actually be able to connect. And so I internally got really, really sick and I got high fever and really bad cold. And then on the third day, the doctor got me and said, look, you can't participate in this event. You're really sick. You might have something contagious. And you know, we can't put the crowd at risk, so come back next year. Or, you know, hold have this huge blue mask on. And I was like, I don't want to use A huge mask covering practically half of my face or, you know. And I was like, I am not going back. I said, you have no idea what it cost me to be here. And he was quite cold. He was like, no, just come back next year. Don't worry. That happens a lot of people. And so I got one of the coaches, and I just started bawling. I think I just started crying and crying. I started explaining to her a little my story, and I said, I need to be in that room. And so she said, okay, go to the hospital. Get the doctor to write you a little letter saying you can participate and then get yourself back here. So I got. I got to the hospital, and I talked to the doctor and I started explaining things, and he's like, don't worry, girl. You're gonna go get him. Go get him. So he went and he wrote the.

Same doctor, the same doctor that was, like, cold before from the hospital.

And I had to the doctor that was there at the event. But when I. The hospital, he was, you know, I explained to him, and I'm like, I need to get in there. And I'm like, I'm sick, but I know it's emotional. I'm like, do you believe that you can get emotionally sick? And he's like, yes, don't worry, don't worry. I'll write it for you. The letter saying she's perfectly fine to participate. And I got myself in there, and then it passed. Literally 45 minutes, an hour. That's when Tony Robbins said, somebody, I want to work one on one with someone that you know is suicidal. And at that moment, my coach, the same one that had spoke to me before, she said, dawn, stand up. It's your moment. And at that moment, you know, I looked at her and I. And I stood up, and I was extremely nervous. I didn't know what I was going to say. I don't know what was going to happen. I just. All I knew for sure was I needed to connect with him, but I didn't know what was going to happen. And as he kept on getting closer and when he started speaking with me in that beginning, I just felt, I don't want to talk to you. I want to talk to your soul. It was just this immediate thing of, I just need to talk to your soul, because he came first in that kind of hard way of dealing with people. And I just felt immediately like, no, that's not the person I want to talk to. Let me talk to your soul. And it was kind of a feeling of If I. The only way I connect with his soul, if I connect with mine, I need to connect with mine. And that's when I just. Boom. It was almost like I shut my mind off completely, and I opened my heart. And then when I opened my heart, I think everything that had been there for so many years just came out. And I know the documentary only talks about, you know, only had a couple of minutes, but that intervention was probably, you know, two to three hours. What? Probably? Yes.

Really?

Yes.

Oh, so they edited that down to what it was. I mean, I. That that would make sense. Okay. At what point. I don't mean. I'm just curious. What point did you realize? Was it right when. What kind of not bothered me, but when he was, like, 26 or something? I think he's like, well, you can go through another 26 years of this. And I'm like, what? Dude, you have no idea what she's. What she's. You know, she just stood up with the most vulnerable thing anybody can say. But was it right around there?

That was the moment where I said, want to hear my story?

I remember that. Okay. All right.

Yeah. No, that was a moment where I said, I don't want to speak to you, whoever this is. I don't want. I want to speak to your soul. And are you ready for it? And that's when I also turned off here, and I opened here. And that's when I saw that he finally. When I offered my soul to. He offered his. And that was the most powerful moment of my life where, you know, I let my soul speak, and I let, you know, my light out, but I let my darkness out, too. I let out my pain, and I let out my joy. And there was so much that I shared that day. They edited just a little bit. But the, you know, everything that I put out there was practically my whole life's journey and the very sad things I had gone through, but also the lessons that I learned through everything. And I went. You know, at that moment, I said, tony, I came here actually because I needed a proof. I needed a proof that real love I could access from every single person, even from a stranger. If I offered from a soulful level that connection, people would give me back a soulful level. And I said, at this moment, when I looked around, people from all over the world, from, you know, so many different religions, everybody connected in a soulful level at that moment. And that was the. I think, the thing that my soul was looking for as a reminder that no matter who you are, what you've been through, if you're able to stand into that vulnerable place, into a place of owning your truth, your good and your bad, but knowing that there's nothing shameful about it, that not only liberates you, but that liberates everybody that's just in your presence. And that was the most powerful thing that I have ever experienced my life. Not only seeing that through Tony's eyes, but seeing it through the thousands of eyes that were all around me at that moment, you know?

Yeah. I mean, can you imagine if everybody was just present and okay with. With who they are? I mean, it's. I mean, it's a perfect world. I mean, I've, you know, things that I. Not battling through, but I have to work through. We all. I put in the work and. But I'm, you know, I'm not going to continue to do that, but it's just being extremely present and just opening up good and bad, whatever it is. But I just. It's. It's just being you is enough. I heard someone say that recently, and it's so beautifully said and.

Sorry.

Uh. Oh, there you are. There you are.

You better edit that or actually leave it. It'll mind.

Leave it. No, that's funny. I think we'll leave that. And the chickens in the background. Are those roosters or chickens?

What?

Do you hear any. Wait.

Oh.

Are those birds?

They're not chickens. They're Brazilian. There's like these little. They're kind of like parakeets. They're so loud.

Love it. I love it. Well, tell them I said hello. I definitely. So, you know, that. That's. That's be. That's. That's beautiful. And thank you for giving a little intro into that. I had no idea. I did. I did. Because I mentioned what you had, what you had sacrificed to go to that. That was it in Florida.

Yes.

Okay.

Yes.

And so, you know, I knew that going into it, but. So it's. But as far as leaving that cult that you had grown up. So that was 26. You'd been there your whole life up until 26 in that cult, right?

No, not exactly. The first cult I left when I was 12, and then I joined another cult that was very similar to that one in search of trying to find answers, but still mentally linked and manipulated. So I joined another one when I was 15 and then stayed there until I was 19. And then when I was 19, I began a journey of, you know, being able to find myself and going through all this process. So from 19 until 26. 27. I was out of all the cults. Yeah. But my story is so long. I've gone through so much already that. You have my book.

No, definitely. And we're gonna 100% touch on that, I promise. So I. I wanted to. Were you alone in that? Did anybody go? Were you like an outcast by wanting to leave? You know what I mean? Were you. Or was this friend of yours, was he kind of with you as well? Or were you. Were you alone in wanting to leave and explore if there's something else, if there's something more out there than this?

Yeah. Well, there was many that had left before me, and many people that I looked and admired that had the capacity were able to leave earlier. I had a lot, you know, growing up. A lot of my friends, we would always talk about how we would be able to run away. How many times, you know, you're six years old, you already think of suicide. Since we were really, really young, we just wanted to die because we didn't want to live in that reality. We didn't want to be there. So we just thought, I want to be out. I just want to leave. I don't want to have to live in this reality. And the only thing that we thought that be a way to be out was to finish our lives. Because we didn't even think there was a possibility of ever living in the outside world. The outside world was painted to us as such a terrible place where the devil ruled that place. And it was such a horrible place that we didn't even think there was a possibility of leaving to go into the outside world. But we just thought, I don't want to be in here. I don't want to be in this environment. And so it was very, very difficult. But at the same time, it was just a thought of, I don't know if there's a way out. But that voice that was continuous in my mind, in my heart, saying, there is a way out, there is a way out, was kind of like a hope that even if externally there wasn't a way out, I can go internal and find some kind of peace. And that was a lot of my escape for many years was going internal, was going, you know, listening to that voice was, you know, spending just quiet times where I can just close my eyes and feel that, you know, visualize that there was happiness, there was real love, there was a different life. And visualize that maybe that life existed. Maybe one day I would be able to live it and be free. And freedom was something I dreamed about for Years, until finally I was able to find it. But I didn't find it leaving the cult, because I saw that you can leave an environment, be it abusive or not, but you can never leave what's been damaged here. Only if you're consciously able to say, you know what? I want to leave. I want to let go from all this pain. I want to heal. And only when you're truly able to heal, then you find true freedom. Then you try. You find the freedom that comes from within, not from only physically leaving from a place, you know.

Right. And that's that. In what age had you always been that spiritual? Have you always used visualization as a tool and technically meditation as well? Right, That's.

Yeah.

Had you read that, or is that just something that intrinsically came.

No, I mean, I never. I never thought that I was doing those type of things. I didn't know about that. It was always something that was alive in me from since I was a child. And, you know, in this community, it wasn't only constructed out of bad, bad, bad. There was a lot of really good things in the cult. You know, there was a lot of things because part of understanding or path is acknowledging the good and the bad. We can't throw everything away. And one thing very, you know, aware of is that, you know, many things of the cult taught me so many things about God, about spirituality, about love, even though sometimes it was very distorted. So even though they would. They would, you know, give these teachings and then distort them into their ways. But those teachings, you know, they were still. I was still learning from them, I was still translating them, and. And seeing that there was more to the way they wanted to distort it. You know, we would read the Bible all the time. I think I practically, as a child, memorized the whole Bible. I knew every single chapter by heart, practically. And so many things that I would read, it would resonate with me, I would hold onto it, and it would give me faith, it would give me hope, and, you know, even some things that they would do wrong. I would think, you know, I think they don't know what they're doing. You know, I think that they're using good to do wrong. And many people in the cult, it was constructed of the best people, the people that really wanted to dedicate their life for a cause. But really good people are capable of doing really bad things. When you let your mind be so manipulated by other people because you feel that you don't have the key. When we think that only this guru or Someone else has the key, knows what's best for our life, knows what's best for our spirituality. We let go, and we let someone else control our mind and therefore control our actions. And so, you know, it wasn't only constructed of bad. There was a lot of good things I learned there, too. But, yes, to answer your question, spirituality was something we were taught our whole life. And it was also something that I really connected to since I was a child. And I'm grateful for that, because that kept me a little bit emotionally healthy in many moments.

Yeah. Visualization, for me, was something I did. Like you said, before I even knew it was a thing, it was just putting it out there, that meditation, so powerful. You know, you're setting intentions for your future, future events and things to happen. It sounds like you were really curious and questioning things at a very early age, which is huge. Yeah. There we go. Nice. I love it. That's fine.

Because I have it in this little thing. Yeah, the window keeps that. Wait, it keeps on falling.

Hey, that's. You're right there. I can hear you. I believe I do a lot of. A lot of little. I do a lot of little positioning things here, too, just to make sure we get ideal light and things like that. It's on a little box right now, too.

Like, 10 today and not once this happened.

Hey. All right, well, happy to be the first. But first thing. No, it's. It's fine. I think the little parakeets in the background. That's the awesome part. But so I do have, you know, if you would, so just fill the audience in on where you've been, where you've gone from that conference in Florida and where you are now, because they really. They saw something in you. Tony definitely did. I mean, and so where did that take you? Where are you now? What are you doing now?

Well, you know, after. After Date with Destiny, it really was a moment where I decided, this is what I want to live for the rest of my life. First, I want to live in this space. I want to live in my truth. I want to live in a place where I can influence other people not by saying, but just by being. And that was super impactful in my life. And as soon as I got home, I decided I was, you know, gonna tell my story. And not only tell my story as I'm gonna expose people. No, I'm gonna tell my story as in the lessons that I lived and the connection with my soul and the connection with that voice and. And help people understand that no matter how far Away you've been taken from that essence, no matter how, you know, robbed. Sometimes we feel robbed from our innocence, from our childhood. But, you know, there's always a way back. There's always a way to bring it back and come back to your safe place and come back to love. And I, you know, I want to help people forgive because to me, the greatest thing that I learned was forgiving, understanding. And when I was able to forgive and understand, I was able to truly liberate my pain and not have to live in a suffering state anymore. And so for me, after that, my life was just amazing. You know, I've always been happy person, a strong person, but my life just became just filled with joy, filled with love, filled with purpose. And I said, I want every human being to be able to feel that. I want people to, you know, to be able to connect with themselves and know that within them there's the answers to all of their problems. And there is a beautiful state that you can find and you can live in, and you can always live in that space. You know, pain is gonna. We're gonna go through it in life, but we don't have to be suffering all the time, you know, and if you're able to learn to forgive and release that whenever things come in life, you're gonna be able to learn to release it as it comes, and you won't have to be carrying on so much weight of suffering. And from since then, I've been working one on one with young women that have gone through similar experiences that I have gone through when people that have come from very close cults and women that have gone through also sexual, emotional, physical abuses. And it's been a great, great joy for me to be able to work with them. And now, you know, putting out my video audiobook, which has been amazing, I wanted to create a total different concept of book. I wanted to create a way that in videos I can be able to talk about my experience and really look people in the eye and have that feeling with them. And. And I thought, this is how I want to put my book out. I want to put my book out talking about my experiences, talking about my light and my darkness, knowing that both of them are necessary for our evolutionary process and we can't reject any of them. And also showing our scars because we're all scared of scars. We all cover up so much because we're scared that other people are going to judge us. But the truth is we all experience pain, so we all have scars. But scar is a proof that Something within you is capable of healing. So there's something within you that is healing, and that's beautiful because it's not someone else that's going to heal you. You can heal yourself. There's a part of you that sometimes pain will help you access, because pain brings you into a sensitive place where you have to go inward. And that when you go inward, that's when you're able to conn with your light. And so, you know, a lot of the. I've been putting out a course now talking about forgiving from a soulful level. And it all. It really talks about that, about, you know, all the processes of forgiving and understanding and living in that space of, you know, this is me, this is who I am, this is my scars. And, you know, there's nothing shameful about being vulnerable, because by being vulnerable, you're not only liberating yourself, but you're liberating all those that are around you, because just your presence has that power. So today I've been doing motivational speaking, creating these courses. Also a project on my website, Dawnwatson me, that it's called it happened to you, Happened to me. And it's a Facebook group page where I'm creating a place where I can. I'm going to be interviewing, you know, amazing women that have gone through experiences that were painful, but how they were able to connect with their home, with their essence, with their safe place. And it's a safe place that you can talk about those things to. You can share it and know that it's safe. You know, it's safe for you to talk about that. So it's an amazing group on my Facebook page. And. And now that, you know, my book is out, it's coming out now in Portuguese. I just launched it in English last month, and now it's coming out in Portuguese for my dear Brazil. And hopefully it will be able to come out in other languages, too.

Oh, that's awesome. So donwatson me. Right. And so people can find more information there and find your book there. I do. Just to touch back on what you said, a couple things I wrote down. You know, when you said essence, my thing was zest. Like essence zest. Same thing. I lost that after an accident that I was in. I was hit and run over by two cars, and I was just unrecognizable for a little over a year, two years. I started to get feeling back, but two titanium plates were inserted. My bone was exposed. Like, I lost my zest, you know, and can totally relate I went to whole new grocery stores, and I just didn't like the way people. It was just uncomfortable. I lost that. And you said you used the word essence, and unfortunately, it wasn't an issue of forgiveness for me. It was my fault type deal. But another thing that stood out was your forgiveness. One of my favorite movies is into the Wild. And I'm not very religious, I'm very spiritual. But they say when you forgive, you love, and when you love, God's light shines down on you. And I think that, I mean, it's just like you said. I mean, you just. You forgiving and being able to, I mean, just unlock all of this potential that was inside you. And look at you now. You're doing it. You're inspiring so many other people, and you're helping so many people. And God, I mean, it's got it. You got to go to bed feeling so good about yourself. Seriously, that's really cool. I do have a. What's that?

Forgiving is you're emptying so that there's space for love. Because if you're not empty, there's no space for love. And so when you forgive, when you liberate all these feelings, then, yes, you have space for love. And then it's an endless flow and you have enough to fill the world.

Right. Well said. Well said. I completely agree. Completely agree. I mean, I. Yeah. After that, even after all that, I wouldn't take. Oh, I wouldn't. The only thing I wish didn't. Didn't happen was just I. I feel really bad when my parents got the phone call from the icu, and, like, I can't imagine that, you know, that kind of brings me down. But now I have, you know, I have purpose. I found my purpose as. As you did as well. I mean, yes. That's really cool. So I do have some people that have some questions for you here. What dawn got through. When dawn got through her darkest days, what advice has she got for anyone who feels they've reached the end of the line?

Well, I think in my darkest moments, and I know how it is to reach the end of the line, and one thing that Tony Robbins actually says, which I love, is life gives you what you tolerate. But the moment that you say, I don't tolerate this anymore. I can't stand this, you get to a moment of complete exhaustion of living in that state of suffering, and you say, you know what? Now I'm going to do everything I can to get out of that. And that was the moment that I began to Truly search for ways to be able to heal, ways to be able to come back home. It was a journey that I said I need to make, and I need to make it happen. And so my advice is, when you reach that point, that's amazing. That's the best point you can ever reach. When you say, I'm done. I can't stand anymore. This pain is. I'm not tolerating it anymore. That's great, because whenever we tolerate it, we can suffer for the rest of our lives because we tolerate it. But when you get to that point, that's the point where you will truly make something happen, where you'll truly make a decision to heal. And the only way to begin to heal, even if your issues you think are with other people first, you need to come back to who you are and come back to, okay, wait a second. I have so many issues with other people. I have so much pain. But let me look within me. Let me find out me. Let me heal things that need to be healed within me and forgive myself and love myself and empty myself, because only then you'll be able to do that with other people and you'll be able to forgive and love. But first you have to forgive and love yourself. And that's a journey on itself, which took a lot of years for me. It doesn't have to take a lot of years for everyone else, but it's a beginning process. When you say, I can't stop it anymore, and then say, okay, so let me begin this journey within right now.

That's. That's. Yeah, he does use that word tolerate on that. I believe it was. It had to be that video that. That I heard him speaking of another, maybe another intervention that he mentioned that. But that's a really good point. So Todd has a question. He goes, she has gone through such amazing depths to the highest stage. How does she stay grounded? How does she keep it in perspective? And then. Which has been her biggest challenge with this wonderful. But I can only imagine a somewhat daunting new life.

Well, okay, first question. How do I keep myself grounded? The most important thing is I'm always grounded. Never on a situation or promises or other people. It's always. One thing I've learned is keep your feet grounded within yourself and know that within you, you know, within myself, I found my best friend. I found the stronger me. I found hero. I found the wise me, which is my connection with my soul. So I try to ground myself as much as I can with the voice within, with a part of me within that is so connected to spirituality, is so connected to love. And we all have it, and when we connect with it, it's really, truly incredible. And so that's where I try to ground myself every single day. And every day I always ask soul, use me until you've used me up, you know, because I just feel that I want to be more. More and more connected to that essence then the other part of me, which I know, it's. It's my mind, it's my traumas. The things I lived you can forgive and let go and liberate, but they're always going to be there. They're. You know, your memory is never going to, you know, go away. You're always going to be able to. Sometimes your trauma will, you know, influence sometimes the way I react, sometimes the way, you know, even. Especially my relationship, sometimes with my parents or even relationship with men, it will come back and remind me, look, you got a trauma here. But if I connect again with my essence, with my soul that is completely clean, completely clear, then I remember, wow, I'm part of something much greater, something that be able to connect me to my light. And then my traumas and everything else will become so small that it won't have the control over my actions. And so I ground myself on that in my essence, every single day. Every single day I do that practice of grounding myself in my greater self. And then. What did he say? What was it?

What has been your biggest challenge with this wonderful. But I can only imagine a somewhat daunting new life.

Well, I think one of my greatest challenges has been to keep on believing in my mission. Because sometimes I feel like, you know, especially after this documentary and so many things going on and so many people connecting with me all over the world, and sometimes I feel like, oh, my gosh, am I capable of all this? This is, this is, this is. Sometimes it feels overwhelming, and I feel, am I. Am I, you know, am I enough? We all have that question, am I enough to do this? But then I keep on remembering that it's not about doing. It's about being. I just need to keep on being in that. In that space, and then I'll be able to help other people. I don't have to keep on thinking, well, I have to be perfect to help other people now, or I have to be, you know, a genius and forgiveness, or have to be a, you know, a Tony Robbins, or I have to have these qualities. No, you don't have to have anything. And I have to keep on reminding myself every single day that I don't have to have or say or be. I just have to really live in that space of I want to live in my truth. I want to be an open and vulnerable person. And just by being that, I'll be able to, to. To help and influence other people. And so I think that's. That's my greatest challenge. But right now, my life has never been better. I have never more purpose. I've never felt more joy. And my giving is my receiving. So the more I give, it's really the more I receive. And I'm really happy and grateful for it.

No, I can see that. That's great. And I'm really happy for you. Seriously. I really am. It's good to see see some awesome things come from what was heartbreaking to me to watch, but then I kept watching. And then look at this. A week later, we're hanging out on Skype. So I do have one more question. This is from my friend Ro, who lost her sister Haley. She goes, is it ever difficult for you to connect with people that say they understand what you went through, knowing that no one in the world truly understands what your story or pain or your pain besides you?

Well, yeah. One thing that I always see is we can't measure pain. You know, someone could go through some type of experience that was terrible and someone else go through an experience that in their eyes isn't as terrible as that, but their pain could be the same because you can't your pain, we all, you know, you can't say, oh, because you went such a horrendous story and mine wasn't so much. But I also. So I'm in pain, but I shouldn't be in pain because your story was worse. And comparing pain is not going to get us anywhere. It's more of understanding that, yes, I feel pain and other people want to help us. And many times they would say, no, I understand you, but it's because we're all trying just to connect. We're all trying to be able to help each other and help each other through. And maybe people won't understand exactly how it was because they haven't gone exactly through what you went through. But they can relate to pain because they know how it is to cry. They know how it is to have that emptiness. They know how it is to feel rejection or to feel loss. And so we can connect to pain. And so, you know, when we connect to pain, we can either stay in that and just want to connect in pain. And that's what a Lot of us in the world do. We connect in pain. So when we're suffering, the other person likes to talk about their suffering too. And then we just stay in that suffering point. But it's so much more transforming when we can connect with pain, which I do with my girls when I'm coaching them is I feel their pain because I've been there too, and I feel pain. And we can. We can cry and liberate it, but then I elevate them to my joy and to. Let's liberate it now. You know, now you can liberate it. Now you can empty it so that you'll have space for joy, you have space for love. And we don't have to be a victim. We don't have to be victim of pain our whole life and victim of suffering. And so I guess that's what I can say about that.

Okay, she's got a couple more really good ones. Yeah, that's a great answer. That's a good point. I could use that actually myself, definitely. So it's a really good point. Have you ever allowed other people's opinions or insensitivity to bother you?

Well, sometimes it invades me. I don't even want to allow it, but sometimes it just invades my. But I'm definitely learning to grow a thick skin after this documentary. A lot of people call me liar, Call me, you know, a lot of, you know, even people that were really close to me that I love a lot deny my story or deny my pain. And obviously sometimes it is painful, but I've learned with time to be able to realize that that's their perception. And it's okay. I can't control their perception, but I can't let their perception influence and make me feel that they're taking my truth away from me. My truth is always gonna be mine. And no one can take it away from us, you know, but we don't. We can't control the way they're. What people are gonna say, what people going to even feel in, you know, towards you. But you can control that. You're not gonna let it influence the way you see yourself. You know, just understand, okay, I respect it. That's the way they see me and let it pass. And so recently I've been really learning the art of letting everyone's opinions, you know, hear it, but then let it pass. Don't. Don't let it stay. Don't let it influence the way you see yourself. Right.

Well, I. Yeah, that's all those just incredible answers and I really. You've been extremely generous with your time. I know you have a ton going on, and I do want to say, like, this is really fun for me. I mean, this is. The rest of my day is going to be all downhill from now. I mean, busy getting ready for a conference this weekend, but I needed this. I mean, you just helped me, you know, I mean, my mind is everywhere, you know what I mean? And now it's all. It's good. I'm good. So you never know who you're going to inspire, but I do. Again, just thank you so much. It's funny how this all worked out, you know, Just. It really means a lot to me and I know it's going to mean a lot. This has been. I've had a lot of awesome discussions on this, but this has been one of the most fun for me because I didn't really know what. What it was going to be like going into it. I just knew you were awesome and I loved your story and I hope our paths cross down the road so I can give you a little high five and just thank you for being on my show and enjoy the rest of your day. It was really nice chatting with you. Nice to meet you through. Through Skype, you know.

Yes, me too. And I'm also super thankful. Your story is incredible, too. I would love to one day be able to understand and hear more about.