035: Doug Bopst on How to Completely Turn Your Life Around: From Felon to Fitness Trainer

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert, and bestselling author. Each week, I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought leaders, and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace.

Hey there, welcome back to the show. We are all about turning tragedies into triumphs. And learning from others how they had struggles that led to their success. And today we have someone that has definitely made the most out of their second chance in life. We have Doug Boubst here, once a full-blown drug addict and felon. Now he's passionate about helping others get healthy every day. He is a bestselling author. He's got a successful podcast. It's one of the top podcasts. Entrepreneur, an award-winning personal trainer on a mission. He's been featured on just about everything from the Today Show, the Rich Roll Podcast, Men's Health, Gold Coast, Fox, ABC, and his story is absolutely incredible. He's become a dear friend of mine, and I am so happy you're here. I'm so happy to see your face, Doug. Thank you for being here.

Thank you so much for having me. It means a lot. I'm very honored to kind of return the favor. You know, I had you on my show and now being on yours, it's incredible. Thank you.

Thank you. Well, you know, we get either on the phone or on Zoom or, you know, start texting and we just talk, I think because we have so much in common. And your story really touches my heart because I have my baby brother who is in jail. He's actually on death row in Texas. And so when I learned about your story, I think I think I learned about you through my friend Erica Lippy, but then I listened to your interview on the Rich Roll Podcast because I'm a huge fan of Rich Roll also. And I was like, oh my God, here is somebody who really turned what could have gone one direction and been the end of his life. And now you are not only turned your life around, you are helping so many people turn their lives around too. Can you share with us, just tell everybody a little bit about where you were and how bad it was and how you got to where you are now.

It's funny, the time we're in now, as we're recording now, we're in the middle of this pandemic, right? I think a lot of people now, they're seeing their— some mental prison, they're in some emotional prison. A lot of things are coming full surface that they may not have had or that they knew they had, and now they're being forced to look at it. And for me, I was in physical prison, mental prison, emotional prison, spiritual prison back in 2008 when I was incarcerated on felony drug charges. What led me to that was it was a result of a lot of undealt with trauma from my childhood where I was bullied, I suffered all kinds of abuse. I had this notion that I would never be able to receive love. I was overweight. I was made fun of. I was told I looked like I had Down syndrome, all these things. I thought there was this something wrong with me, so I turned to drugs. And I started smoking pot when I was 14, and then started selling it to support my habit. And then I couldn't get high enough from that because what happened was when I started smoking it, I felt like this monkey come off my back. I didn't have to worry about my problems. I could be myself. I didn't have to worry about whether I was gonna get married or I was gonna graduate college or all these things that I just had in my mind because of the story I was telling myself based on the view of other people onto me. I just got to a point, like I said, I couldn't get high enough off the pot. And so I was like, what am I gonna experiment with next? I turned to cocaine and started snorting like An 8-ball a night of cocaine, and that turned into painkillers. And meanwhile, along with this, I couldn't maintain a job. I was either fired or I quit from like 21 jobs by the time I was in my late teens, early 20s. When I started experimenting with painkillers, I didn't know where that was going to take me. A 5 milligram Percocet led me to 300, 400 milligrams of oxy going up my nose every day. And as I look back to why I was doing it, it was 100% self-medicating for me. I hit a point in my life where I thought I was going to be dead by the time I was 25. or dreams of growing up. I didn't think I was going to be anything with my life the way it was. I just was like trying to just completely numb myself to the greatest ability I could.

And that works until it doesn't. I mean, because I've been there. I've been sober now for 4 years and that's exactly kind of what I was self-medicating to for physical pain. Well, and then I realized emotional too, but it does work. I remember thinking, oh wow, this is awesome. Why didn't doctor just tell me to drink? Because it numbs out everything and it— I remember thinking And it's not the healthiest thing to do, but it works for now.

Yeah.

And then like you said, it worked until it didn't and you had to go somewhere to try something out. I've always heard, and I truly believe this because I've seen it, I didn't go to jail yet, but alcoholism, you know, when you're a drug addict, it doesn't discriminate. It can happen to anyone and it either will lead you to death, prison, or maybe an insane Insane asylum if you're lucky, maybe. I agree. I can completely relate to that. But who would have thought you would be snorting that much pain meds?

Yeah, it was a lot. And I think I battled with anxiety and depression growing up just because, I mean, I grew up in a divorced home and I had a lot of the other stuff go on that I was sharing and didn't want to think about anything. The painkillers for me just completely did just that. To support all of my habits, people always are like, well, how did you afford that? Well, I sold a bunch of drugs. I sold a ton of pot. I sold a couple pounds of pot a week, which is a couple thousand dollars. What ended up happening was one day everything kind of came to a head and I had a busted headlight that I'd been meaning to fix. And it was Cinco de Mayo, 2008, and I'm riding around with a few of my friends to go pick up some pills. And I flashed my high beam. This cop was running radar at night. He pulls me over. One thing leads to the next, pulls me out of the car, searches my car, finds half a pound of pot, $2,000 in cash, arrests me, charges me with a felony drug charge, intent to distribute marijuana. I get locked up that night. Get bailed out. And the next day I just continue on my same path. Got arrested in May, I went to court in September. It's a process when you have a felony because you got to get arraigned, you got to go to circuit court. It's not just as simple as a charge and you go to court. I just kept doing drugs, kept doing—

That wasn't enough. That didn't scare you enough.

Well, I wanted to pretty much, I was like, you know what? If I'm going to die, I'm going to go out doing drugs. Because I'm sure you can relate to this. We used to idolize the guys who died at 27, like Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison, all these musicians who died at a young age. We were like, well, that's the cool thing to do. When I went to trial, September of 2008, when I went to court, I was facing the maximum sentence was 5 years. And the judge came to me and he's like, you know what? I'm going to make an example out of you, but I'm going to give you a chance to save your life. And he said to me, I'm sentencing you to 5 years, but I'm going to suspend everything but 90 days. Meaning if I messed up at any point during my 5 years of probation that he gave me as well, I could serve the full 5 years. 5 years probation, 200 hours community service, all kinds of fines and drug classes. But he said, Doug, if you complete everything without messing up, I'll take the felony off your record. Wow. In Maryland.

They're a little bit nicer in Maryland, man. In Texas, they don't mess around.

Yeah, I can imagine. I probably would have been on the streets. I got charged and I was like, oh, whatever. Like, I'm gonna die by the time I'm 25 anyway. I'm gonna get out. I'm gonna leave court, get high. So I didn't really think anything of it. I was like, because all my family's like, you know, you know, Doug, he's giving you a chance to get the felony conviction off your record. You know how important that is? I was like—

That's huge. I know because my oldest brother has a felony record. So my baby brother's in jail. My oldest brother has a felony record and it's impossible or nearly It's nearly impossible to get a job when that's on your record.

Yeah. So I had all that going. And I reported to jail about a few weeks later. It was a week after my 21st birthday, crying. And of course, I hadn't stopped using drugs. So I went in and the last thing I did, like I almost was late saying goodbye to my mom, my dad, my family to like report to jail because I was snorting like a couple hundred milligrams of oxy before I went in. Almost was late, almost missed reporting. And then I got there, all hell broke loose because the detox started. It was 3 weeks of hell. Vomiting, uncontrollable shakes, felt like I was trying to crawl out of my own skin, massive pain and aches because I was just so used to being sedated and numb.

You could have died from the detox.

It was rough. My cellmate, which is where things changed for me, was the one who forced me to start exercising. I remember at one point, he literally forced me to start exercising. I remember at first, he was like, you're going to start working out with me when you get through this detox. I was like, have you seen me? I could be a model for Pillsbury. I'm fat. Who am I to start working out? Then the first night he brought this up to me, he was doing thousands of pushups, running all kinds of laps in the common area. His encouragement and nudging me every day, I finally decided to give it a try. Couldn't do a pushup, could barely walk, could barely do one from my knees. With his encouragement and training me in there every single day, I was able to do a set of 10 pushups and run a mile by the time I left. That's what really catapulted my journey, was that transformation. It wasn't the pushups and the sit-ups, it was how they made me feel. It was being able to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Setting and achieving a goal, being consistent with something, having like something to shoot towards, all these things I never really had in my life. And then also having like some of the unconditional love from somebody who had no skin in the game as far as my life, challenging me and being like, I'm gonna hold your hand and walk you through this journey. It's kind of like that poem where the footprints in the sand poem, you know what I'm talking about? Where God's like dragging the person through.

And then there's one set of footprints and that's when God says, that's when I was carrying you. Exactly.

And that's kind of what I felt like was happening in jail. And then he gave me a workout plan when I left, so I never forget where I came from. And I keep it, you know, it's like 15 feet from me right now.

Do you still keep in touch with him?

He actually called me yesterday, very randomly. I've been trying to get him on my podcast. I always tell the story from my perspective. I want to get you on so you can tell it from your perspective. We've been in and out of touch. I don't know if he ever got on a completely straightened path.

I want to go back to what you said a little bit because you said some key things that I think are really important that got you through. You had a purpose. You had something to look forward to or to strive towards. So you set a goal. You weren't stuck looking backwards, which I think a lot of people get caught up in. I know I did at one point. Instead, you were like, okay, maybe I can do one push-up. Maybe today is going to be 2 push-ups. You had accountability. You had somebody there to hold your hand through the whole process. And each day you're like, okay, it's gonna be okay. I will get through this feeling uncomfortable and then I will gain confidence from it. And something big that you said was it wasn't just the physical doing the pushups or running. It was how it made you feel. That is why I work out exactly that, because how it makes me feel. You know, I just had a conversation with my dad last night who was really down because he lives by himself. He had a major back surgery. He's got a lot of back issues. He tends to suffer from anxiety and he gets really sad because he was a stud, man. I think he still is a stud, truly like the player driving the Trans Am. All the chicks wanted him and now he struggles because of pain and he can't do the physical things that he used to do. But I was like, Dad, you got to move your body. You got to exercise and do what you can. And he's like, but I can't work out my legs anymore. And I'm like, I get it. I was stuck in a bed for 2 years in a wheelchair and on crutches and I couldn't do that either, but I still moved. I had a pull-up bar in my hospital bed. I had dumbbells. You move just so you can push yourself up off the floor if you do fall. Get your upper body strong. And I said, for the main reason is to feel good. Feel good. You need those endorphins. It changes the chemistry of your brain. For me, it was always my drug of choice. And when I got into trouble with drinking, it was because I wasn't able to run anymore, which was my therapy. And I substituted and I was like, oh, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. This is not the path that I'm meant to go down. How long were you in jail or prison?

A little less than 90 days jail. I mean, it was in a county detention center. But when I say prison, I mean, like, my mind as far as where I was. I had my self-esteem was definitely in the negatives. My self-worth, who I saw in the mirror was, you know, just this big piece of junk that was a failure and that had morally just given up on himself. It was just really somebody that just was never going to amount to nothing.

Did you read books while you were in jail?

I read books. I also did some things like positive affirmations for my mind. Like I had to really change how I talked to myself because for the longest time I was telling myself, you're fat, you're never going to make anything. You're this, you're that. And I had to change that because it really starts with the mind and how you talk to yourself. It doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. And it took weeks of being consistent with that and walking with my chest puffed out and not hunched over and doing things like reading different books in there on spirituality. And I was reading the Bible and I was reading just novels. I mean, I was just getting my mind off of just thinking about the whole thing, the whole aspect of being in jail. I had a routine. I had things to look forward to. Like in the morning, we would do a lot of calisthenics and then I would have the evening to look forward to my run. We'd have time during the day where we would play chess. That way, like every few hours I had something to look forward to. So it made the time pass. I wasn't just sitting in my cell, like staring at the ceiling the whole time.

I think that's incredible that you made it to where you looked forward to it because that's something that I would love if people could change instead of thinking of exercise as punishment for how unhappy they are about their bodies or that they feel like they have to do it, that it's something that they get to do. It's a reward really that you are able to do these things. I would love if more people looked forward to it. And if you can't, there are days where I'm like, oh, I don't really feel like working out, but I think about how it's going to make me feel afterwards. Because whoever leaves a workout and they're like, I wish I wouldn't have done that. Like never.

Oh, you're right. And I think no greater expression of self-love. I mean, everybody talks about self-love than taking care of your body and it It doesn't have to be— for me, it was just being able to do a pushup from my knees when I started. It wasn't even about doing 100 pushups or running a 5K. Dude, get down and do 3 pushups from your knees. That was a struggle for me back then. It taught me a lot about grit. You talk a lot about, obviously, about grit in your messaging. It taught me about just getting through stuff, doing whatever it took to become better. I literally, every single day in there, committed myself to being relentless, to winning that day, and then in hopes that I would get the opportunity to live a better tomorrow. Because it wasn't guaranteed. I just knew that if I went the opposite way, and I did nothing to better myself, if I didn't adapt a growth mindset when I was in there, if I didn't look at my failures as opportunities to get better, that I automatically would lose. The mindset shift just came because up until this point, I blamed everybody else for my problems. I haven't exercised. I've been eating like shit, been treating myself and others poorly. I'm sitting here, I've had 21 jobs. I'm incarcerated on felony drug charges, and I have no hope in my life. So there's got to be something that has to change. The common denominator in all of that was me.

That was what started everything.

And it's hard. I think it's hard to look at yourself in the mirror, like, I'm the problem. But it's also positive and be like, wow, like, I'm the problem, yet I'm also the solution.

It sure is. You talking about that right now with what's going on in the world today, I think so many people— because we're in this pandemic and so many people are angry or upset or they're in fear. I was sitting in my office and my husband came in and he was like, oh my gosh, this person has really lost their mind. You should See all the hate they're spreading about Trump and China and all this stuff. And I'm like, well, it's an opportunity for us to ask ourselves, are we placing judgment on them or what's our part in it? Because I think that right now a lot of people want to look for somebody else to blame. And I love that you said, I had the common denominator was me. I had to look at my part in it. And I think if we could all, as hard as it may be sometimes, Look at our part in every situation, then everything would be so much easier instead of always pointing the finger at everybody else going, okay, what's my part in it? How can I better myself? How can I better the situation? One of my favorite prayers is the Serenity Prayer, and I actually have it in my room so I can see it. And it's really taking acceptance, knowing when we can't change something. Asking for help. It sounds like you did all of those things.

You're right, but it took some time. It took my cellmate really looking at me and giving me some tough love. Can I cuss on here?

Yeah, go ahead.

All right, I just want to make sure people know this is just how it was. And this is back in 2008. It was very real to me. And I want to preface this, but before I say what I'm about to say, it's not the words that really did it for me. It was how he phrased it afterwards that helped me experience a true transformation. I was just sitting there one night, and it was before I committed to really exercising, where I was like, God, man, my parents, they got divorced, and this. I was picked on in school, and this and that, and I got robbed for drugs. He was like, quit being a bitch. I was like, what? I just was like, did I just get called a bitch in jail? Where I grew up, being a bitch, you don't want to be called that, especially in jail. What he said to me was what changed my life. This is how I use everything even today.

What did he say?

Is you can be a man or you can be a bitch. And he said, most people will be a bitch and cry in the corner, say, woe is me. They'll wait for their parents to fix their problems or wait for this or that, and they won't get anywhere. You can be a man and own your mistakes, own your choices. He's like, you got yourself here. He's like, no matter what. He's like, plenty of people's parents got divorced. Plenty of people are bullied. They didn't all go to jail. He's like, you're here. He's like, what are you going to do to change? And I felt empowered, right? I felt empowered. And that was really one of the big turning points.

You realized you had a choice.

I did. And you know, it's funny. A lot of times when things like that get said to us, we hate that person in the near term, but long term, we love it because it was what I needed to hear. I didn't want to hear it, but I needed to hear it. As I got out, I was on a mission to change. I was like, how can I ever repay you? And he was like, well, don't fuck up and pay it forward. He gave me the workout plan. I would do it. I was living with my grandparents. I did it in their basement and I was outside running. I remember my grandparents like, They came home and they were like, yeah, we saw you running outside. We were wondering what was going on.

What are you running from? Like, uh-oh, he's at it again.

They could tell there was a shift. When I got out, everyone was, you need to go to rehab. And I'm like, screw rehab. I found fitness. I didn't believe that I was going to make it. Maybe like 3% of me, 10% of me, whatever, thought I was actually really going to make it. But I knew I had to almost fake believe it. I had to live as though I was going to make it. Otherwise, I'd be screwed. That was my mentality was like, I can't see light right now, but there's going to be light. That's just what I believe, that life's going to be better in 3 years from now, 3 days from now. I just was on a mission and I changed the way I ate. I would spend more time with my grandparents at home. We would watch the Food Network and Dancing with the Stars. I taught myself how to cook by living there and being around my grandma who cooked and watching, like I said, the Food Network and just developed some new skills. I read a lot. I went back to school. I had to pursue my 2-year degree, which was a big deal for me because I went to college for 4 years. I still was a freshman. It was a big deal for me to do that. And then I lost a bunch of weight and the whole mindset shift started to really transform into other areas of my life where my old friends were— I have nothing against any of my old friends, nothing. Any of them called me right now today, texted me, I still talk to some of them. It's just I began to think I had nothing in common with them anymore. Eventually, I just left and Started developing other friends and other groups and just realized how much the power of inner circle was, how much it was important to surround yourself with like-minded people, people that have common features and not common paths, that challenge you to be your best self no matter what. I saw the weight loss come, I lost 50 pounds and I was like, well, crap, if I can do this, I want to teach other people how to do it. So what did I know that this boy, I called myself a boy back then because I still was young, I was 21, 22, was now going to be wanting to pursue a career in personal training. I became a trainer. It's been about 9 years now, over 9 years. I just found a new high. I found my ability in wanting to help people use fitness to change their lives in the same way it helped me become something I wanted to have a massive impact in the world. Fell in love with it. I built a really successful training business and time kind of flew by. At this point—

Let me ask you though. I have another friend of mine, and I think you may know her, Jen from Resurrection Me on Instagram. I'll introduce you. She's amazing. She was on the True Grit and Grace podcast and she went to jail for drugs and she got sober in jail. What would you say to somebody who is not in jail yet or not in jail and they're doing drugs or somebody that may be listening right now and they might think, ah, I may have a problem. I might be taking too many pain pills or I might be drinking a little bit too much. Because right now, did you know, I'm sure you know this, but alcohol sales have spiked up.

That's one thing I'm like wondering. I'm like, all right, you can't go to the gym, but you go to the liquor store. How does that make sense?

Yeah, isn't that crazy? My daughter and I went for a little bike ride in the neighborhood the other day. And in California, you know, there's pot shops everywhere. We drove by, happened to drive by the pot shop. There was a line down the street. I kid you not.

Wow.

Down the street for pot. And I was like, wow, like everybody's drinking and smoking. What would you say to somebody who's struggling right now? They maybe don't have any hope, but they have that thought of, oh my gosh, I think I have a problem, but I don't know how to quit. Because you had the ability to almost kind of be forced into fitness to kind of help you transform your life and then quit doing drugs. What would you suggest to somebody who wants to quit and they don't know how?

Depending on the person, I mean, I think the first step is always just acceptance, just knowing that it's okay. So many people are ashamed to admit it. They're ashamed to raise their hand and say, wow, I've been drinking every day for the last 2 years, 3 years, and it's gripped a hold of my life.

There's a lot of shame that goes with that.

I think just knowing that it's okay and that you're not alone. Anytime we're going through something A challenge, a moment of adversity, a failure, our biggest trial through that isn't the instance itself, it's the response to it. It's how are other people going to view me? What am I going to do? So acceptance, know you're not alone. Get involved with a community of people. I mean, for me, I was in jail, so I had a community of people in there to help me. And plus I was in a place where I was— I had no other choice, but I'm talking as if I had a choice and I was out looking back now. Just get involved with the community and really start to ask yourself some questions. Is what I'm How does what I'm doing right now align with the person I really want to be, my higher self? And then trying to figure out some ways and things they can do in the medium. So focus on getting strong, adapting, doing what you need to do to change your brain chemistry and rewire your thinking, your coping mechanisms. One of the things I actually was telling one of my coaching clients who's in recovery, who's having trouble with some triggers, I said, I don't care if you want to use again or whatever, go for a 20-minute walk or run and do a set of 100 pushups. Then reevaluate. Change your thought patterns. Change your habits. Because sometimes that instance to want to use again is just instant and you want to feed that craving right away.

Yeah, it's the same with any kind of bad habit. They even say, I've heard, with food, instead go brush your teeth. And that's the same thing Mel Robbins talks about too, is breaking that habit. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Right away changing that thought pattern. How do you suggest people find a community? Like, if they are feeling alone, or especially now, if a lot of people are being told not to leave their house, or they're introverts, or they're just like, I don't know how to find a community, what do I do for that? What would you suggest?

It just starts with one person. Maybe it's just reaching out to somebody who you know you trust 100% with everything, that you can just say, hey, like, can we talk for like 10 minutes? And just saying, you know, like, this is— I don't feel comfortable, I'm ashamed. Being like open and opening yourself up, and it might not be easy. But what I'm saying is that's why you want to find somebody who you can really trust, who you have that connection. Just tell them like, you know, I've been this, that, and the other. I feel scared. I feel this, I feel that. And I think just opening up and sharing like that opens Pandora's box. And then from there, like, you know, maybe that one person then can lead you to another person.

And I want to say too, if you reach out to someone, if you're listening right now and you're like, okay, I'm going to reach out, I'm going to reach out. And you reach out to somebody and you're expecting them to be there for you and they're not, because that happened to me where I reached out and I thought, I'm finally— I'm gonna have some help. That person couldn't help me, so that didn't stop me. I had to summon up all the courage again because it takes a lot of courage when you're struggling and you realize that something is definitely wrong.

Oh yeah.

Like, I knew what I was doing was wrong and I knew that I definitely But desperation can be such a gift because it gave me the willingness to do whatever I could to get better. So I was like, okay, that person is not there for me. I need to go to someone else. I had to share my innermost demons and secrets with someone. And then when you find someone who has been through some similar things, it's like, oh my gosh, I'm not alone. And they got through it. I know I can get through it too. It gives you that glimmer of hope.

Even now, the times we're in, it's tough. And knowing it is going to be tough, and like you said, getting told no or having somebody not listen to you, it's going to happen. Almost expecting that to happen, probably somewhere where you kind of need to be with your mindset because it's human nature. And now more than ever, there's so much more access to online communities than there ever has been.

There is. I just interviewed someone on the podcast, Kate B, for— and she's got an online program. Holly on Instagram. I don't know if you know who she is.

Holly and Laura McCowan.

Yeah.

I think people now, especially if they've never been to community in person, like AA or anything, I mean, because a lot of the struggle right now from what I'm understanding is it's hard for people to go from the in-person meetings to online because they lose that in-person connection. But if you've never been to an AA meeting, you just get into an online community, you're probably going to have a vastly different feeling and you're going to get a lot out of it. I would even like search for online self-help communities and just join a few and just introduce yourself because here's the thing too. This is not going to be easy to hear. I don't like sugarcoating things even though like sometimes I probably should. You got to choose your suck. And what I mean by that is this, the feeling of emptiness and loneliness and all that, it sucks. And I've been there. Having the self-awareness and just being able just to be there is important and it's valid. And that's like the first step. I said, is acceptance. And it sucks to put yourself out there. It sucks to say, hey, I have a problem. Hey, I need help. Hey, can you help me? I've been drinking too much. But what also sucks is not doing anything about it. And 5, 6, 7 years from now, you look back and you're like, gosh, I wish I would have blank. You got to choose which one do you want? Do you want the suck and the pain of putting yourself out there and obtaining grit and perseverance and developing character of just keeping on trying to accomplish something, even though the odds are against Even though you can't see light, even though people are doubting you and not giving up. Do you want that route or do you want the route of it's gonna suck 5 years from now when I haven't done anything and I'm like, I'm not where I want to be?

Or dead. I mean, I hate to be blunt too, but I mean, I have seen in my own family where this disease of alcoholism can lead you. It is not good. And so right now, especially, I think people have the opportunity to do a lot of self-reflection and ask themselves, What do they want to do with their life? Are they the best person in their relationship? Really ask yourself that question. Are you doing what you love? What's stopping you? Really, because now is a time where I feel like the world has kind of a big pause button and we get to choose.

And I'm not saying it's not okay to just be still and accept where you are and just know that you're supposed to be in that place. I also know though that one of the biggest pivots for me and anybody that I've ever interviewed who struggled with addiction is that it started with a decision to change. Like, you have to make that decision to change and be like, do I want my life to be like this? And it starts with that. And it doesn't have to be going from 0 to 10 years in recovery in 3 days. It doesn't have to be from being 100 pounds overweight to losing 50 pounds in a month. It just starts with one day. Set goals for a year from now. Set goals for 6 months from now. But I tell you what, there's not one high achiever that I know that sets goals like that that doesn't focus on the day. It doesn't focus on being present and doing the necessary things each day. Just take your day and then say, okay, what are some things if I had my best friend or a loved one, my son, my daughter, somebody that you would hold dearly, what would I tell them to do? Because odds are you wouldn't steer them wrong. And I remember I was watching— I forget who I was watching speak. This was like 7 years ago. Exactly what I say to anybody, what would you tell your best friend? So simple, but so true. What would you tell your best friend? And it changes the trajectory of your thoughts because now you're looking at somebody else other than yourself. Which is messed up that you're like, yeah, I would definitely tell my best friend to call somebody, stop using this, stop doing that. But for me, no way. One of the best things I've learned through the years is that it doesn't matter who you were. It doesn't. That part is done. It's there. It's always going to be there. What matters is who you are. And you're not a fuck-up. You just fucked up. That's the way I tell people because so many people label themselves based on past mistakes and failures. And they forget to label themselves as the person they want to be. And I think that's something people need to remember. And even in my own transformation, being where I am today and being on all these podcasts, the media, and everything I've done, all well and good, what drives me isn't that. That's a byproduct of me just being aligned with my purpose. What drives me is knowing that I've taken something that was very negative in my life, full of darkness, full of pain, full of sadness, full of sorrow, and I've turned it into something positive to be a light, not only to myself, but to others around me. When you get to that point where you can look back and you can say, that's what I'm doing, adversity doesn't shake you because you know that things are happening for you. And even today, as I'm talking to you, we're in a time of adversity. We're in a time of pandemic. I'm still confident things are happening for a reason, whether it's me getting back into certain things I've been doing or me, whatever. Before, I never had that mentality. I was always in the, oh my God. That's who I was. Hopefully that answer helped. I kind of went—

Yeah. I mean, I'm just in awe of what you said because I've never met a strong person that's had an easy past. I'm sure you've heard that saying, but you have gone through so much. So when you have adversity come your way now, you're like, okay, this is hard, but I have these tools to get through this. And I love the part you talked about the labels, because I feel like other people can put labels on us. We can put labels on ourselves. And it's so important to put a positive label on ourselves. I did this event, it was called Unleash, and we actually wrote, we like had our shirts off, we wrote on our backs labels that we were given as kids or that we've given ourselves as adults or whatever. And we wrote down 3 or 5 negative labels and then 5 positive ones. And then you take pictures and they smear the negative ones off and you say how it makes you feel. And I was shocked.

Yeah.

I cried because I was like, wow, I had no idea that I still kind of carried those labels of shame around with me or broken or damaged goods. Like I still carried that with me. And it was a powerful thing, like transformation to kind of let that go. I love the idea of putting a positive label on ourself and doing it one day at a time. You know, I always tell my clients, don't think about, yeah, you say you want to lose 50 pounds or you say you want to be able to bench press 150. Think of one pound at a time, one day at a time. If I thought of, I will never drink again, I probably wouldn't be able to stop drinking. But if I was like, okay, for today I'm going to stop, then it made it so much easier.

Well, and I think that's so intimidating to people is that like, I'm never gonna drink again. Like, that's very intimidating, especially if you're somebody who drank for like 50 years. I remember I was in jail. My cellmate was like— I remember I was trying to lose weight. I was all excited. I was like, how long is it gonna take me to, you know, get rid of like my spare tire? How long is it gonna take for me to lose like my triple chin? Like all— like whatever it was, right? He's like, dude, how long you been beating your body up? 21 years? He's like, it's gonna take a long time, Doug. I'm a strong supporter of the AA community. I kind of— I don't want to say I have a beef with, because I don't— is the fact that you go in there and you're like, hey, my name is so-and-so and I'm an addict. Obviously, there's positive in that. It reminds you who you are. But I think for some people, it becomes this negative label. For me, addiction was part of my life. And I will never forget that time when I was addicted. I'm not saying that part's erased, right? That I'm above it. I'm not. But I think when you can change the conversation of it being that was part of my life, not my life. That people can wrap their head around something different and being like, that's not my identity anymore. That's who I was, but who I'm going to become is something completely different. I don't recognize the person I used to be. I have different memories in my head where I look at that person and I was like, who the heck is that guy? But he's always there to remind me of how far I've come and also to count my blessings. I'm grateful to be alive. I really am. I get reached, I get tons of messages on Instagram and emails and I'm just grateful to be in a place where people are now looking to me for advice. Half the time, it's almost like the imposter syndrome. Why are they asking me? It's like, what do I know? But at the same time, if I can do this, anyone can, because I literally was 21 years old, 21 jobs, convicted felon, no hope in myself, fat physically and fat mentally with— I had so much weight to lose in my head.

Just an array of Sunshine, you are just the glimmer of hope, I think, that people need, that if you can get through that, anybody can get through that. I mean, you took your second chance and you're like, yeah, I am going to make something of my life. Really, more than that, what you've done by turning it around and helping so many other people, that probably— do you feel like that helps? What motivates you to continue on your path of sobriety and just fitness and by helping others?

I think it goes back to being of service and helping somebody. And not to say you don't have to take care of yourself because you do, but you can— I think obviously taking care of other people along the way and helping is very therapeutic. And even for me, like, writing my first book was therapeutic because I got something out there. And sharing my message on Instagram is very therapeutic, not because I like hearing myself talk It's more so because I'm like, all right, if I can help just one person today, then I've won. Here's a perfect example. When you were in Starbucks, I guess something I have all my coaching clients do, I always have them be like, all right, one of your challenges is, I want you to go into Starbucks, not now, but pre-COVID. I want you to buy the person in front of you or behind you their coffee. I want you to capture that feeling, that video of how you feel afterwards and save it to your phone. Because I can guarantee you, if you're having a bad day, You will remember that. You will remember how that made you feel helping somebody else. And what it will also do is if you're behind that person, it'll start a chain reaction. You're going to look at that person and be like, wow, that's a good idea. The old saying is one candle can't light up an entire room, but one candle can light up 2 to 3 to 4. And that's what I'm trying to do.

Well, you're doing it.

Being like, who wants to come with me? Who wants to help be that beacon of light and hope? And it's exhausting. It's tiring. And I probably run myself down too much doing it, but damn it. I have fun. It was great when people were like, hey, like, you know, your story saved my life, or because of something you said, like, I decided to quit drinking. And I get these messages often, and it's very humbling to me because I still am like a goofball. Are they talking to me? Are they talking to the guy like, oh, so—

Well, I mean, and you've got how many books? 2 or 3?

3.

3. I haven't read the third Oh my God, one book for me was hard. I've got the outline for the next book that's been sitting on my shelf right there for a while. And I'm like, oh, do I start it? Because it's a process. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. And you have 3.

Yeah.

Oh my gosh, that is amazing.

Got 3. And then I got to kind of— I wrote actually Faith, Family, Fitness Volume 2, been done now for a while. I don't know when it's going to come out. I'm just kind of sitting on it just because it's got to be like the timing.

I mean, I'm really trying to focus more on my podcast. Yeah, your podcast is doing amazing and you have some amazing guests on your show. I was just grateful to be a guest on your show and it was so much fun talking with you. What are your big goals for the future besides the podcast that takes— I know it takes a lot to do the podcast, but I know you're working with people. Are you going to be doing more speaking? There's so much speaking right now going online. Have you been doing that more?

I've had a couple opportunities to be online and speak. One was actually for Laura's recovery community, and then another one in a different group. I would love to speak more. I spoke to Clemson football team last year, and that was one of the most rewarding things I've done is being able to go into a place like that and inspire college kids who were around the same age of when I was kind of doing all my goofy stuff. Speaking, definitely. Different things I have going on personally, I'd like to grow different business ventures. I've been very blessed to be able to get on a lot of different podcasts, a lot of different shows. So just helping people who want to get on the podcast they listen to and helping them craft their message, their story, to be able to do that. As well as I've been doing a lot of consulting for helping people build their business and then really—

Well, that's amazing. It's just in you to help other people. And I noticed that about you from the first time we met. You're like, hey, maybe I could connect you with this person. Yeah, connect me with Rich Roll. Hey, Rich, I'm sure he's listening to this podcast right now. Love to have you on the show. How was that being on his podcast? He's amazing.

He's a great guy. Yeah, it was definitely humbling flying out there. And then like, I was a fan of the show, so I would like see him and he'd write like the name on the chalkboard, you know, of the guests. And, you know, I just see all these guests he had on before me and I was like, wow. And like, and then I'm sitting there and it's like, he just— 2 hours of just him like just running through my story and everything. At the end of the day, Just something that was heartwarming for me.

Y'all are both inspirations. And yeah, both of you together, you both are such big lights in the world. And I know I could talk to you all day, and I know you have to get going too. But before we go, I wanted people to know where they can get your book, where they can find you, and also just to be able to reach out to you. I know you have a ton of people that reach out, but But for people that really resonate with your story and maybe want to connect with you, what is the best way to do that?

Instagram @DougBopst and then www.dougbopst.com/gift. They can get my top 5 moves on how they can wake up and be the best version of themselves. And then all my books are on Amazon. You know, just reach out, say what's up to me on Instagram. I mean, I'd love to help you any way I can.

Thank you. And you guys check out his podcast too, Adversity Advantage.

Adversity Advantage is on Spotify, iTunes, wherever podcasts are. I'd love to help you any way I can.

Thank you so much, Doug. Thanks for being on. Thanks for sharing your story of just true resilience, for sure. I appreciate you, and I'm just grateful to call you my friend. We were supposed to do this in person. You were gonna be out here in town in LA, so we'll still meet in person, maybe visit again and have you on the show again. But for now, thank you so much.

You're welcome.

Thank you so much for joining us this week on the True Grit and Grace podcast. Don't forget to hit that subscribe button, and it would be so awesome if you rated and maybe left a review. That would help too. And also, I have some exciting news for you. If you are ready to learn a mindset that will get you through any challenge, ready to really transform any limiting belief, and finally find the wellness routines that work with your lifestyle and keep your body healthy and thriving, you're in the right place. You're hearing this for all the right reasons because it's your chance, your chance to join right now. It's a 12-week course. It's so much fun because we're going to go live in a webinar with plenty of time for Q&A. It's called Your Unstoppable Life Mastermind, and there's going to be a daily mantra and a like-minded community to support you along your way to reach all those goals. So head over to amberlylago.com/mastermind and sign up now. Okay, have a great week, and I hope to see you in the Mastermind.