How to Create More Success Without Burning Out with Julee Gracey

Do you feel like you got your business sense, like your business smarts, from your parents?

Absolutely. From the foundation, I was taught that hard work was normal. And so I'm so grateful for, for that lesson. It was, this is normal. We wake up and we work hard and you go after what you want. No one's going to hand it to you. So that was a foundation that was set inside of me very early on. I know how to do hard things. Then I help women challenge their own thinking Because they're like, oh, it's hard, I can't do it. And I'm like, who told you that? Who told you you can't do hard things?

What are some other ways that you can start working smarter besides just delegating?

Delegating, a lot of times it'll be eliminating. So I always go by the 4 pillars of, you know, your health, wealth, relationships, and joy. So then we go through of how do I readjust some things so that I can bring that joy back in? You want to grow, it's essential. It's essential. And yes, you're going to have turnover. You're gonna have people that come into your business, they work for you, and then they leave. But when you have that list, that checklist of how things are done, you're not reinventing the wheel.

Then you don't have to repeat it.

Hey friends, thank you for being here.

Welcome back to the Amberly Lago Show. I'm so grateful you're here because I have an amazing treat for you today. My friend Julie Gracie is here and she talks about confidence, how to get it so you can go after your big dreams. And not just that, we're going to talk about other things, how to set healthy boundaries. Is there really work-life balance? So many things. How to build a business, how to turn a hobby into a business. She's got a new book out that I can't wait to dive into. So I'm so glad you're here. Julie Gracie, welcome to the show.

Thank you so much for having me.

Oh my gosh. So we're sitting here cozy in the couch and just having a good old time. I'm like, wait a minute, all this good stuff we're talking about, we need to share this But you have— we have so much in common. You used to live in California. You were a model, a global— you modeled everywhere— entrepreneur. And now you teach so many other women and coach so many other women how to build that confidence and their business and really successful businesses. And I think even one of your clients went in 8 months to turning her hobby into a $100,000 business. And so I want to dive in because I know there's a lot of women out there that they have big dreams but maybe lack the confidence. I know I've been there for sure. Even today, as I sit here with my orthopedic shoe on from my foot being injured, I'm like, don't mind this. And you're like, oh, we can talk about that. But I love all that you share. So I want to go back a little bit. I love also that you grew up, your dad was a farmer. And your mom and your grandmother definitely had some grit as well. Do you feel like you got your business sense, like your business smarts from your parents?

Yeah. Thank you for that amazing introduction. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. From the foundation, I was taught that hard work was normal. And so I'm so grateful for, for that lesson. It was, this is normal. We wake up and we work hard and you go after what you want. No one's going to hand it to you. So that was a foundation that was set inside of me very early on. And that clearly has helped me go through life of what do I want? And it's going to take hard work. But here's the thing, I know how to do hard things. And so sometimes you'll hear people that say, oh, well, that's really hard. Okay. And?

Yeah.

Like, you can do hard things. And I help women challenge their own thinking because they're like, oh, it's hard, I can't do it. And I'm like, who told you that? Who told you you can't do hard things?

Well, do you think being an athlete helped you with that type of mindset as well?

Absolutely. Absolutely. And coaches, you know, if you heard anything that I say, having a mentor or a coach in everything that I do, I have not had any success that was not because of another person and not because of a mentor, a coach, one person coming into my life teaching me one thing that helps you move forward. And that's why I love what I do, because I know how valuable It is. If I can just teach someone one thing that helps them move to the next step, it's— that is my life's purpose, is to take those lessons that I've learned. Because what a shame it would be to have learned all these lessons, to have gone through all the pain and trials and tribulations, and then keep all that for myself.

Yeah.

And not share that with other people that could use those, those messages, use that teaching. So I love being able to pour into other people. And because, as you know, you work with so many amazing women, they are talented. They are brilliant. They are way smarter than me in many areas, but they just lack that confidence to move forward. And I love being able to be that piece in their puzzle to help them move forward confidently and go after their dreams. Because I always say, your dreams are not going to chase you.

Mm-hmm.

You have to go after them.

Yeah, it's so true. And I think that I see that a lot in some of the women that I've worked with. All it takes is that one shift in their perspective or that one somebody believing in them until they can believe in themselves. Then some of them, they used to hide on social media. Now they're on social media more than me. And so it's amazing. And I'm someone too that I believe in having a coach, a consultant, a mentor, a sponsor, I mean, I got them all. Yeah. Therapists, good friends, all the things. I think that's really important. But I know that you learned a lot of grit and hard work from your dad who worked like 80 hours a week on the farm, your mom who always had 2 jobs. But now you've been able to go, okay, I know how to work hard, but now you know how to also work smarter. What were some of the things that you shifted? Because even last night my husband was saying, Oh yeah. He had gotten off the phone with a friend who's been sleeping in his office. He goes, he's just like you. His work never ends. He just goes and goes and goes. And it's like, sometimes as an entrepreneur, I've definitely had to set boundaries of, okay, I need to step away from the office. I need to leave. What are some things that people that maybe don't have that off switch or they're working so many hours, what are some ways they can work smarter instead of just harder?

Some of the ways that they can work smarter. Yes, you have to set boundaries. That's something I always talk about. A lot of times we have to set boundaries on ourselves.

Yeah.

When you're an entrepreneur and you're first starting out, yes, you typically are going to be working the longer hours, putting in more time because you're building something.

Yeah.

But one of the ways that you can, you can only do that for so long before you burn out.

Yeah.

You know, we have a lot of grit and a lot of energy. I'm going to go after it. But how long can you sustain that? It's just typically not sustainable. So where, Where can I delegate? And so one of the first things I do for my entrepreneurs is I have them do a time audit. So in their typical week, they write down everything they do for every 15 minutes from sunup to sundown. And it's not to shame them. They always come back to me, oh my gosh, I wasted so much time. That's not the intention of doing it, but it's really to be aware of where am I spending my time and where's the best use of my time?

Yeah.

So if you're really good in sales in your business, well, let's have you doing that more. Instead of doing the bookkeeping. One of my clients, she has this amazing staffing business for medical staff staffing, and we found 47 hours in one week that she was just scheduling. And I'm like, that's a person in your business. That's a full-time position. And so she was able to hire that person.

That is a full-time position. 47 hours is a full-time job. And I think it is important to have that awareness. And actually just this morning, I was spending a long time, let's say, emailing different companies for potential community sponsors for my event. And I was just going, this is not what I'm supposed to be doing. I had somebody else on my team that was going to do that. And then they hadn't. And I'm like, The events are right around the corner. Like, no, this has to be done. I'm just going to do it myself.

Right.

What do you do in your business if you have tried to delegate something and it doesn't get done? I'm the kind of person, I know that I need to work on this, where I'm just like, well, I'll just do it myself. It's easier just to do it myself.

Yes, that is common across the board because you've been used to doing it yourself. You know what to do. And sometimes to take the time to To bring someone in to show them how to do it.

It takes a lot of time.

And in your mind, you're like, I'll just do it myself. But then you fall back into that pattern of just doing it myself and you never learn to delegate. And so when you delegate something and it doesn't go well, when they don't do it right and you're pointing at them, there's always 3 fingers pointing back at you. So how can I— the first thing you do is reflect. Was I clear on what it was? Did they have A timeline. A timeline. Did they have— did I show them exactly how I wanted it done? And then also, am I okay that they're not going to do it 100% just like I did? Because if they're 80% of the way I do it, is that good?

That's good with me. I mean, I've had to let go a lot because I was just like, well, that's— that the font's not centered and that wording's not right. And I would never say that. And blah, blah. And I had to let a lot of that go. Yeah. And I think for me in my business, I'm like, well, as long as the person is kind, like when they're reaching out to someone else, then I know we all make mistakes. But if you're not nice, if you're not kind, I'm like, no, you can't. I can't work with you. That's— I know that sounds bad, but it's just like, I don't want that to represent me. Someone who's not nice. Like, be nice.

No, it doesn't. It doesn't sound bad at all. No, this is what— this is how we behave. This is— these are the words that we say. This is what we don't say. Um, no, I'm a big believer in— we have scripts. This is what you say. I help actually some of my, um, my clients with scripts for their staff and teaching them tonality matters.

Yeah, it really does. I'm very sensitive to that.

Tonality matters. If I, you know, when you're answering the phone, is it the, hi, welcome to the spa, how can I help you?

Yeah.

Nope, that's not how we do things. And then, like I said, a lot of it, what I teach is the mechanics of Hey, thank you so much for calling. What can I do for you today?

Yeah.

Like the tonality, inflection in your voice. Small things make a big difference in a business and how people receive your message. Just like as a speaker. Where do I learn to pause?

Yeah.

Where do I learn to put some emotion behind my voice? And then when do I learn to bring it down and let it sink into the audience? It's the same thing in business. And you'd be surprised if you will just learn tonality in your voice, And when you speak like that, you become more confident in the message you're delivering because you can feel it on the inside. I'm sure you know this.

Yeah, yeah, that's so good though. So yeah, delegating, teaching them exactly how you want it to, you know, the script, having the tonality, having the kindness. What are some other ways that you can start working smarter besides just delegating?

Delegating, a lot of times it'll be eliminating.

Yeah.

What are things that we're doing that aren't important in your business? Yeah.

Right?

So I always go by the 4 pillars of your health, wealth, relationships, and joy. And which is why I love your book, Joy. It's a pillar of what I teach of we find sometimes I have women that are so focused in their work and, okay, I'm working on relationships and this, but they're not having any joy in their life. And it just, what is all this for? Right? They're, they're, they're very wealthy, they have all this money, but they're miserable.

And then what's the point?

Exactly. So then we go through of how do I readjust some things so that I can bring that joy back in? Or if I need to make more sales, like, it's small things can make a huge impact. Um, but going back to your delegating, getting really clear, what do you want? What do you want? I want them to do this, this, this. And so creating those checklists And that list of details can be really hard for my entrepreneurs. They tend to call it, you know, SOP hell of the standard operating procedures of how I want things done. But once you start doing that, then it frees up your time. And if you want to grow, it's essential.

Mm-hmm.

It's essential. And yes, you're going to have turnover. You're gonna have people that come into your business, they work for you, and then they leave. But when you have that list, that checklist of how things are done, You're not reinventing.

Then you don't have to repeat it. It's like, this is it. It's systems in place. What are some systems in place that you use that you really like to make things easier? Because even like I tell the ladies in my mastermind, I'm always like, before you start your podcast, you need to have some sort of scheduling system out. Like, because if you've got a big name guest like you on your show, Then you don't want them to have to go back and forth on times. You want them to be able to just find a time through a system. Don't ask them a bunch of questions, just get them locked in, make sure that sends them a calendar invite. And so I love systems in place like that that help me. What are some of your favorites?

Yeah, no, that's a perfect example is any business that you do, systems are your foundation. And as someone, I'll tell you, don't love systems. I am let's fly by the seat of my pants. I am full marketing and sales is me. My husband is operations.

Oh, really?

He is a system and structured man. God bless him.

Oh, I wish I had. My hubby's not like that.

And that's okay. But he has taught me, this is kind of proof opposites attract in many ways. And he has taught me so much because he'd be like, This is my whole day and it's all structured out. I'd be like, that just looks horrible. That looks miserable to me. Years later, look, I've got my day structured out and there's freedom in the structure.

Yeah.

Because what I was doing is trying to fly by the seat of my pants and it was working most of the time, but that's where anxiety came in.

Yeah.

That's where the stress came in. But I kind of lived off of that stress too. It's that dopamine hit of, oh, this is stressful. Let me, Last minute realizing that's why I was loving that. Yeah.

That you'll create that just because the adrenaline rush of, I got to do this. Whoa.

Okay, I did it.

Yep.

You'll create the chaos to get yourself to move.

Yeah.

And that's how I was operating. But it also had the anxiety and the stress, and I wasn't sleeping well because I'm trying to do all these things at one time. And then I thought, you know what? Well, let's try it the Mr. Gracie way, and I'm going to start structuring. And it was honestly miserable at first. I'm like, this is so boring.

Yeah.

But once I got rid of that chasing the dopamine of doing those kind of things and have structure, there's so much freedom. I don't have the anxiety. I don't, I don't have anxiety in my life. I don't have stress because I have the systems. And you talk about systems. Well, if it's a podcast, what is your system for booking that? If it's Structuring your day. Where in my week can I repeat the same thing? Because your body likes familiar, your nervous system likes familiar. So where can I have a familiar routine in my day, in my week that I don't have to make a decision? Because especially as entrepreneurs, we get decision fatigue. There's so many decisions to make in a day. The more decisions you can remove, the better.

That's so true. It's so true. And that's why I used to, for my calendar, like, Years ago, I started this podcast in 2018 or '19. And I remember I just had my calendar link and it was like anytime, any day, any, it was just like all over the place. And so I would have podcasts scheduled on Mondays, on a Saturday, on a Wednesday night, on a Thursday morning, on a, it was just like chaotic. And then I was like, wait a minute, I need to have all of my podcasts scheduled on one day, all of my mastermind coaching on another day, all of my one-on-one coaching on a different day. And of course it does fluctuate a little sometimes, like you come into the house is a little different. But I mean, it helps so much because I know my 15-minute connection calls are on certain days at certain times. And that structure does help. And it does like— and so I'm in recovery. I got sober in 2016 and we call it having smart feet. When you don't even really have to think about it, you're just going to go to the meeting because you've been to that meeting. You're just going to go to the gym because that's the time you go to the gym to take that stress and that anxiety out of it.

Absolutely. So I teach, like you talk about your days, because it takes 23 minutes for us to fully refocus after we're interrupted. So when you're trying to, this is a fact, when you—

Does it really?

It does. And so because I realized I was interrupting myself multiple times a day just to look to see, was it time to go pick up my daughter? Was it time to go pick up my daughter? And when I did my time audit and I looked at it, I realized I was checking my phone 10, 15 times a day. Oh, what time is it? What is next? What time is it? What's next? And I was like, I was interrupting my focus of what I was doing. And then when you're so busy, but you're still not getting things done.

Yeah.

If that is something that The listeners here, this is what I'm telling you. It's learning how to put structure in your day. I now wake up every morning. This is a great system I have. I look at what's my schedule for the day and I go into my alarms on my phone. How much notice do I need before this event?

Yeah.

15 minutes. This one, 5 minutes. This one, 30 minutes, because I got to get my face on before I go to this meeting. And I go through every morning and I set my alarms. And I'm not worried about missing anything important because my phone is gonna let me know. It's gonna start vibrating my watch and be like, oh, it's time for this. It's time.

Oh, that's so good.

It took all that anxiety of, am I late for something? Because personally, I despise being late for anything. That's a pet peeve of mine. I would rather be an hour early than a minute late.

Yeah.

But it took that. That's one of the systems I use, and it was a game changer for me. And so also with scheduling during the week. Mondays, you will not reach me. Monday is me day.

Really?

Monday is me day. Monday is— I also have Money Mondays. It's me day. It's the day that I tell my clients is when you go and you look at every one of your accounts, you pay your bills, even the bills you don't want to look at. We're going to look at them. We're going to make them real. We're going to face them. That's Money Mondays. So Mondays are blocked for me. Someone wants to coach with me, I— nope, it's not. It's not an option. Um, what's great about that too is I have a daughter in school. She often has Mondays off of school, so I already have that day blocked.

Wow.

So when she has a day off, I'm not trying to reschedule and saying, hey honey, sorry, I have to go and work, and you're here. I get to be with her.

Yeah.

Um, so I have Tuesdays and Thursdays are my— I put my coaching hat on. I am on camera, I'm on Zooms, I'm coaching clients, my boot camps. Those are Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I don't book anything past 3 o'clock. Why? Because my daughter's going to come walking in that door at 3:45.

That's good.

And my work hat is off. I might check a few emails here and there, but there's no more meetings after that. And I've structured it that way on purpose. Like, when people talk about you can design your life, I was always like, what does that mean?

Yeah.

What does that mean? You create the world you want.

Yeah.

And, and everyone's like, well, what happens? There's a client that wants to see you at 5. I'm not available. Here are the times that I'm available. Setting boundaries. You want to learn to set, you know, boundaries, then you're going to respect mine. And so if you don't, that's fine. And I teach this too. There, I put it like when they talk about clients and they're like, I'm not making money in my business and these clients are taking all my time. And so I teach them a very simple way. There's 3 buckets of clients.

Mm-hmm.

Um, there is, forgive all the Jennys out there. Uh, there are friends that are Jenny. There's a Jenny, there's a Julie, and there's a Sean. And I use myself as Julie and Sean cuz my husband is the corporate CEO. Jennys are your heart. You want to help them, you wanna serve them, and they need you, right?

Mm-hmm.

And if like you overgive to them, they're not gonna give you a lot of money, but they're gonna suck your time.

Yeah.

But that's also where your heart is attached, so it's hard to let them go. You're going to drown in your business serving them. You have to learn to put very hard boundaries there. If they want to jump up to a Julie and pay you, great. If they don't, they weren't your client anyway, and we have to give them peace and let them go.

Yes.

Okay.

Yes.

And you have a Julie. Julie, I heart, heart, but they also have money to pay you. They're willing to pay you.

Yeah.

Want to see the results, but they also are part of your heart, your connection. They're kind of your ideal client.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Then we have the Shauns. The Shauns have no heart. It is all, I want results, I want function. They are sharp with their words. I want results, I want return on investment. They have the most money. We're talking about when we serve corporations, we serve big events.

Yeah.

We want to see numbers, we want to see results, butts in seats. What are the— right? That's— there's no heart there. That's all numbers. That can get tiring to serve because It's not fulfilling in your heart. Yeah. So those are the 3 buckets I teach. And to recognize, is this client that I'm talking to, are they a Jenny? Are they a Julie? Are they a Sean?

So good.

And so if you recognize that, if you recognize it's a Jenny, love them and say, okay, absolutely. And then realize if they don't decide to move up to be a Julie and actually pay you, they were never your client anyway, but you can wish them well. Yeah, but they'll drown your business.

Yes, they will. And, you know, I was just at— I was just speaking at an event where I know that the cost of these event tickets were $2,000 a ticket. And there was a lady at the event that came up to me. She goes, oh, I really want to go to your event, but, you know, financially I just can't. I said, tickets are $30. I said, and that goes to a charity for— it's to help other women who are big, you know, survivors of human trafficking.

Yeah.

And she goes, oh, they're $30? And I'm like, yeah, that's a couple of runs to Starbucks. You know what I mean? But I'm just like, when I was just like, you didn't even look. You just wanted me to say, come, here's a free ticket.

Do you know what I mean? Absolutely.

I've had a few people do that. And I'm just like, I have, and it's my fault because I have in the past given them stuff and I feel like a lot of times when you give people stuff, sometimes people are Julies and they appreciate it and they want to pay you and they want it. But other times they're Jennys and they might even have a good heart, but they're also, I call them in my book, I call them energy vampires.

Yeah. They're going to take all your time. Exactly.

They are.

And it's like, and I'm a big believer when they don't pay, they don't pay attention. You're exactly right.

You got to have some skin in the game.

If I think that I'm serving them by giving that to them for free or giving them my time for free, and I've done this and proven it many times, I'm pouring into you for an hour the same thing somebody's paying me $1,000 an hour to teach, and you don't even do— you don't do anything with it. So did I actually serve them by giving them that time for free? No. But the people that are paying me $1,000 for a one-on-one intensive—

They're gonna go after it.

They've got skin in the game of like, look, I've got to make up my return on this. And so I see it over and over. So when we feel the need to give because our heart is speaking for us, we have to stop and say, is that truly serving that person? Because I'm going to give it to them for free and they're going to do nothing with it. I'm actually hurting them instead of serving them.

That's so good.

It's a way to change your mind about that because, and again, you have to protect your time because everyone's going to want it. Yeah, everyone's going to want it. And because you're such a giver, because you just, you know, you can help them, Okay, I have to stop. And like, what would I tell a friend? Stop overgiving. Stop stressing yourself out for people that aren't doing the same for you. And another tone on that is people don't want the stressed out, burnt out version of you.

Mm-hmm.

They want the fully rested 100% of you. So again, we go back to you gotta take care of yourself first. And that means setting those boundaries. And I love what you said of like, here's the link. It is a paid— you want a coaching session with me? It is paid.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I love that you also talk about taking care of yourself and how you show yourself on your social media in your workout clothes. And you are, I mean, you're, if y'all aren't watching this on YouTube and you're listening, you got to check it out on YouTube because she is like stunningly gorgeous. Like beautiful on the inside and out.

Thank you.

But I love that you talk about on your social media about working out and taking care of yourself actually helps you with your business. And I feel that when I see that somebody takes care of themself, that to me is a reflection of they're going to take care of my business. I don't know, maybe that's just me, but I would rep— it's kind of like when I go to a restaurant and the bathroom is disgusting. I'm like, okay, they're not taking care of business, so they're not going to probably take care of my food. I'm kind of grossed out right now. Maybe that's not a good analogy, but it's just what popped in my head. But I mean, I just think when you take care of yourself and you're fit, it shows that you care And that you're putting effort into things, but you say also that you work out for your brain and that's me too.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, when you see someone, I love how you say that. When you see someone that they take care of themselves, that's a sign that they respect themselves. And if you can see that they respect themselves, then they are more likely to respect me. And when you see someone that doesn't take care of themselves and they're negative and they just, they don't respect themselves, how do I expect them to respect me?

Yeah.

When they don't even respect who they are and the gifts that they've been given. And so you're right, that is to me a sign. But yes, I used to work out when I was young as an athlete. I was track, I was a runner. But what'd you run in track? 800 and the 1600.

I hated the 800.

Everyone hates the 800. If they're—

that was my least favorite. They always made me run that. But I was a miler, so I loved the mile and 2-mile.

But that's exactly why I ran the 800, because everybody hated the 800. And remember, really, it's really hard for other people. And that's where I was like, ooh, that's where I'm gonna dig in because it's hard and I know how to do really hard things.

That's good.

So I actually was like, what's the hardest race? And the coach was like, the 800. I'm like, that one. And he goes, and I said, why is it hard? He goes, cuz you have to be able to sprint and have the endurance of a long-distance runner.

Yeah.

I'm like, show me how. And I did really well. I went to state with that. I was—

I did too.

I was always like the one of the top runners in that. And so—

I mean, I went to state and, um, I actually— I just— since you're an athlete, you'll appreciate this.

Yes. Yes.

I set a record for the state of Texas for running the fastest mile. Good for you. I'm sure it's been broken a long time ago, but I was into the running. Yes. Yeah.

And running itself is It's a mental game. It is a mental game. So, if you can do running, you're like, I hate running. I'm like, if you can get yourself to do it anyway, the mental fortitude you have. I ran the mile as well. I didn't love it.

No.

No, I loved the 800 because I knew when you had sprinters, they would go out fast and they would die on the endurance.

Yeah.

Or, you have the endurance runners, but they had no sprint at the end.

Yeah.

I had timed that so well. So I still, I still love that race.

Wow.

It's still— because it's hard, and I was like, I could do it.

I love it.

Well, let's talk about what you also speak about, is like, like loving yourself. How do I— that's a part of confidence and building your confidence. It's a practice. How do I love me for me, exactly as I am right now? Not who I could be, not where I want to go, not what I did in the past. But me is right now. That's a practice. How do I love me? And gratitude. How do I show grateful for the stretch marks from my 2 beautiful girls? How do I show gratitude? Like, oh, I'm starting to get some gray hairs. So I'm in— this is cool. I'm in this phase of my life. I'm in the we're starting to get gray hair phase and appreciating that.

Right.

When you start that gratitude, like, oh wow, yeah, look, wow, look at these. wrinkles on my face. I got a lot of movement going on. Okay, not that you're like, you have to love it, but I can appreciate that in the moment about myself. That is a key step in building your confidence. I don't need to show up as this 20-year-old perfect version of myself from how many years ago. This is me.

Yeah.

And being okay that I don't need everyone to like me. I like me. You know, you're with yourself 24 hours a day. So if you don't have a good relationship with you, that's a really rough life. You know, and sometimes we irritate ourselves and we disappoint ourselves. But showing ourselves some kindness that we are not perfect, we are not made perfect. I mean, like, oh well, screwed that up again today. Okay, well. Great job, Julie. I guess we're going to have to work on that. If you can just have that kind of kindness of a dialogue inside your own brain.

It's also, you can kind of just exhale. I remember when things started to change, like my skin started to change and stuff. And now I'm just like, oh, well, yeah, I'm in my 50s. Of course it's starting to change. And I think too, it took a long time for me to get confidence after my leg was all scarred up and everything, but it's freeing when you can be in acceptance for that. What is something that you tell women who are struggling with confidence that they can start on today?

Absolutely. Getting really clear about what you actually want across the board. Because we might think it, oh, I want to do this, or I think I want to do this. And that's where that anxiety builds, because you're not actually moving toward anything. You're reacting to the world around you. There's a difference between moving through life with intention and just reacting. And when you're just reacting, think about it, your guard is up. What are we doing? Oh, this called. What are we— this is how you are living, and you may not even realize it. But when I have intention, This is where I'm going. I'm setting the GPS of where I want to go.

Yeah.

Well, then that's where I want to go. And then I backtrack the steps and every day here I'm making progress toward that. So I can sit down. I'm not worried about my business because I have the path. Did I make the calls? Have I made the sales? Have I?

Great.

I'm not worried, oh, I haven't called that friend in a while. I actually have in my system of here's the people I want to keep in contact with every month. Well, Every Thursday from 2:00 to 2:30 is my reach out to a friend or family member time. Yeah, it's on my calendar. So there's Grandma, there's my best friend, there's my sister, there's my whatever it is. And I have that on my calendar.

Yeah.

So I've, you know what I mean? You don't have that anxiety and that's how you start to build confidence because you are showing up for yourself in the way that you wanna show up to the world.

Yeah.

But getting really clear, what do you want? Oh, I don't know what I want. I think I wanna do this. It's just chaos. No wonder you don't have any confidence and don't know who you are in the world. So that's the first step is getting very clear about that. And as you know, and I'm a big believer in this, once you figure out what you wanna do, find a mentor, find a coach, a mentor, someone that is close to you. Maybe it's an elder in your church. that can help guide you to where you want to go. Again, I've said this all the time. People are like, oh wow, you've had all the success. And it's because of other people that I am here. I still have coaches. I am a coach and I still have coaches. So we talked about, I've got coaches and mentors and therapists and I've got people that support me. And I know, and I'm not afraid to reach out for help.

Oh, me too. And I mean, that's the thing. I've, I have spent thousands on coaches and I wish I would've done it sooner because I really struggled when I reinvented my whole self, my whole career. I was trying to figure it out all on my own. And to me, it's much more fun to have somebody that's alongside you kind of helping you along the way too.

Yeah. Well, and think about every athlete. And if I say, who's your favorite athlete? You could probably list a bunch of them. I don't care what sport it is. Every single one of those athletes have multiple coaches for their entire life. I don't care what sport they're in. But then you think that you want to go build a business and I'm going to do it all on my own. Yeah. Is that like— it's just so obvious. Like, get some help somewhere. Do you know how to do the books? Do you know how to do sales? Do you know how to do marketing? Do you know how to set up systems and CRMs and structure?

I didn't know how to do any of that. I just was like, yes. So I needed, and it's important to get a coach that does know how to do that. They have been through what you're going through and gotten to the other side so you can work with them. Well, you do boot camps all the time. When is your next boot camp?

My next boot camp is in April. It's the month of April. It's a 30-day challenge, Business Builder. And then we have another one in September. So I try to do them 3 times a year, right after the first of the year, right before summer, and then right after I would say the kids get back into school, September, we really push for that 4th quarter, which is when we really try to go after the money because 4th quarter in the economy is a strong one. So yeah.

Well, what is the best way people can find your bootcamps?

Absolutely. You just go to my website, it is juliegracie.com, and All the information's on there for boot camps, things like I have a Confidence on Camera Academy. It's a course.

Yeah.

That teaches people how to build their confidence to speak on camera.

Yes. And, you know, I really thought I had a whole list of questions I haven't even looked at. And I really thought we were going to talk— well, I could ask you hours worth of questions because you're so wise. But I really thought we were going to talk more about confidence on camera and stuff because that is something that even though I was You know, I modeled in LA. I was a professional dancer.

Yeah.

I never had that, like, confidence in talking to the camera. Like, you are so good. All your videos, like, y'all have to go find her on Instagram. Julie Gracie. J-U-L-E-E Gracie. And because you just talk on camera and you're so confident and so good. I mean, Cole's here videoing us right now. And he, he has to have a lot of, you have a lot of patience with me, Cole. You really do.

You really do.

You're fun to work with.

Anyone behind, anyone behind the camera we know has to have a ton of patience.

You got a lot of patience, but you are so good. What is something you can tell someone watching today that they can start to do to have a little more confidence on camera?

Absolutely. You can do this. Start today. As soon as you hear this, immediately you can do this. The reason that you are not comfortable on camera is because you're not familiar with you. And when I say that, when I'm talking right now and I listen to this back, it doesn't sound the same. My voice doesn't sound the same. When I see myself in the mirror and then I see myself on camera, I don't look the same. When you understand that, now if you put a movie on and I'm listening and I hear Tom Cruise and he's running through some movie. I know his voice. Think of anyone that you love. You know the sound of their voice just by listening. Any music singer that you know it, you're familiar with them, the tone of their voice, the quirks of their face that you see on TV. If you will watch yourself the same amount, you'll become familiar.

Whoa.

Yes. See that? Because you're not familiar with you.

Well, it's— yeah, even like all the keynotes that I have. I don't know why it's so hard for me to sit and watch those. I don't. I just have Cole do that. In fact, Cole, sorry, here, put something together for me.

But you're confident. You get up there and you speak. You have confidence.

Yeah, I'm not thinking about myself though. I'm thinking about the other people. So you're saying basically I need to watch myself on camera?

You're going to do 3 things. You're going to turn the volume off and just watch yourself. Oh, and get familiar. So when I try to make a point, I do this. I'm like, I always do this. Like, I turn my head to the side. I have this thing that I do. Yeah, I know that I have crooked lip, and when I talk, one lip goes forward and the other— it's like you learn these little quirks, and guess what? You're going to learn to appreciate them about yourself. Okay, okay. Because now I don't worry, what do I look like? I might have an eyelash Flying off my face. Oh, well, I guess eyelash fell off. I mean, you just, you stop worrying about those things. But how you start is through this practice. Then you start talking. You can take your phone through your home, start talking to your camera. What do you talk about? No one's going to see it but you. Talk about what you're doing. If you're going to bake something, well, I'm going to cook some chicken for dinner. I really don't like chicken, but my husband loves it, and I'm going to use my grandma's recipe. And you just start talking. Then you're going to set your phone down and I want you just to listen to your own voice. And for a lot of people, it's hard to listen to because they're just, it's like, oh, I hate the sound of my voice. It's because it's not familiar to you.

Mm-hmm.

This is when I get them past this step. I have taken the most shy people who literally are scared to death shaking to go on camera that are now, if you went on social media, kind of like you said, they're on social media talking to the camera more. Than I do.

Yeah. Yeah.

That is the best way to start getting comfortable with yourself on camera. Because I'm telling you, when you want to promote a business, the most powerful thing to do is for you to talk to the camera about your business, about what you do and give. It is the most powerful. And that training translates into the rest of your life. You speak up more when you're in a meeting. You speak up more when there's a problem. That confidence goes across the board, and it's really beautiful to see these women and men step into their voice, find their voice. But it starts with getting familiar with yourself. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think now more than ever with AI especially, that the world is going to want— they're going to crave that authenticity, that it's not picture perfect, that it's you. Talking, because I'm seeing more and more and more AI. But I think that too, people want to work with a company. I know I want to work with a company or a business because of that person and because I like them and I can feel their energy and their personality. And so I think that's important. So where's the best place people can get your book so they can be more confident?

Absolutely. So you can simply go to Amazon. It is on there. It's called Highly Confident. And I just came out with the audiobook as well. So— You did? I didn't know that. I did. So super excited.

I am gonna get that because I don't have the audio version of it.

Perfect.

And I love, I love the real book. Thank you very much for my book. But I like the audiobook too, because I like to listen to books at the gym or in the car. Yeah.

Absolutely. And a lot of people do. And just, you know, like audiobooks now outside sell physical books.

Do they really?

They do. And so that's what I wanted to make sure that I did the audiobook. But sometimes it's a challenge. The first time I did it, the audio was terrible. We had to redo it again. It's been a journey. So it's like persistence. That is my word of the year for 2026. Um, but yes, it's so nice to hear a book just like yours. I have joy. I listen to that and I love hearing your voice tell your story.

Well, thank you. You know, I had to audition to read my own book.

You are kidding me.

I'm not kidding you. So my first book, True Grit and Grace, I, that was, I just did the audio. And for this one, they're like, well, we don't, you know, I was like, I want to do the book. And they're like, well, you'll have to send in, like, you'll have to kind of audition for it and send in, you have to read a chapter and send that in. And we'll let you know if we, you know, you get it or you— and I'm like, But it's my book. I want to read it, you know? And so, yeah, I had to like— so can't you just listen to my podcast or my first book? And they're like, no, we need you to read this one and send it in. So yeah, so I was like, okay, I got— I get to read my own book. Yeah, but congratulations on your audio.

Thank you. Yeah, that would— that scenario would make me very, uh, upset.

Yeah, I'm like, uh, yeah, I'm gonna do this.

Yeah. And I'm going to read my own book. And so next conversation. Yeah.

Right.

This isn't a question.

Yeah. But I love your book. I love that you do these boot camps. I love seeing all your videos. And every time I see one, especially about how you do, you have persistence and grit and the importance of confidence and the importance of boundaries. I'm like, yes, thank you for the reminder. Yes, thank you for the reminder. And just showing up as authentically you, which I think so many people need to hear because again, there's so much AI that— we were watching something and my dad was like, oh my gosh, you have to see this. And my daughter and I were like, dad, that's AI. And he goes, no, no, look, it looks so real. And I'm like, they even have the watermark of the AI company that you— no, dad, that's not real.

Yeah.

What would you would you think is going to be like even a year from now super important when trying to get your message out there confidently?

Yeah, well, here's the thing. Authenticity is going to be such a key part of social media, especially with AI that's now coming and taking over. And they have these realistic versions, they're getting really good at it.

They're really good.

It's wild. I'm not— and trust me, I use AI a lot in my business for a lot of my backend systems, and I'm not saying that it's bad. But here's the thing, when I Um, right now I'm meeting with you in person. If you're listening to this, I am looking at the beautiful Amberly face to face. This— there's no AI here. This is real. I can see you and you can see me. Yeah.

And so that's why I want to move my show even, yeah, back to in person. It's just different.

It is. And so when you're going out on social media and putting yourself out there and it's an AI version, Here's the thing, when someone doesn't like it or you're not making sales, you're not growing, but they never actually saw the real you anyway.

Mm-hmm.

Like, to, to have the courage to show up as authentically you, that is going to be an absolute superpower. And, you know, even Forbes had a list out that said one of the things they look for when they're hiring, um, these companies, they're hiring people, are one of the top assets of a person was to be able to speak confidently about themselves. Imagine that. They want you to be able to speak up in a boardroom. They want you to be able to give a presentation. They want you to be able to talk to clients. None of that has to do with AI, right? And so I just encourage anyone listening, if you're wanting to move forward, build confidence, build a business, you have these amazing masterminds. These women come in and I know that they cry and they're finding who they are. It's so powerful. Find a mastermind like that or get into a course. Find a mentor to help you move forward because staying stuck where you are, that is just, that's not an option. And I'll leave with this is that God cannot steer a parked car.

Mm-hmm.

You have to move. Once you start moving, he will start guiding you. And anytime that I feel like I'm stuck, And I'm trying to make the decision myself, I have to take a moment and be like, oh, I forgot. Sorry, my bad. I'm not actually the one in charge. I'm going to start moving in one direction, and I know he's going to guide me to the right way, but he can't guide me unless I move.

That's so good. So good. Oh my goodness, you're amazing.

Thank you.

So if you really want to build your confidence to move, Go grab her book, Highly Confident. Go find out about Julie's boot camps and follow her on social media. And I just thank you so much. Again, tell people the best way to find your boot camps and your book.

Absolutely. You can go to my website, which is juliegracie.com. I spell my name a little different. I love my Canadian mother. It's J-U-L-E-E. You can't not smile when you say my name, Julie. And my book is on Amazon, Highly Confident. You can get the physical book, you can get a Um, ebook on Kindle or the audiobook, and it is my voice. So would love to, um, have anybody connect with me. I'd love to hear from you.

Yes. Thank you so much for being here, from driving all this way and hanging out. And my dog Nugget just is in love with you. Like, I've never seen her like that. I don't know, you might have to move in. You might have to move in.

Nugget is so sweet, but Thank you for tuning in.

I appreciate you being here. And if you found this episode helpful, please share it and tag me @AmberlyLago and Julie @JulieGracie. And thanks for tuning in, and we will see you next week.