036: Real Reform and Real Recovery with Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert, and bestselling author. Each week, I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought leaders Leaders and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace. Hi, and welcome to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm so happy you're here because today on the show I have Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams. After 22 years of service with the New York City Police Department, he traded in his blue uniform for a blue suit when he was elected to the New York State Senate. As a captain in the NYPD, he earned the reputation of someone going above and beyond the call of duty. I might add that Eric goes above and beyond in all areas of his life. He is a thoughtful advocate for people and communities he serves, and he has earned widespread praise for creating innovative programs on issues ranging from conflict resolution to child abuse prevention. He serves as a chairman on the Veterans, Homeland Security. You serve on so many chairs and boards. The list goes on and on. You are truly a real live servant. Superhero, and I'm so honored to have you on the show. So welcome to the show, Eric.

Thank you so much. I think one of the biggest disadvantages we have in life and one of the big mistakes we've made over our lives is that in our bios we list our accomplishments. I think we should list our failures. I'm going to put a section in my bio that tells people what my failures are because I don't want people to see perfection because In between every line, every chapter, there are a host of just imperfections. And when you look at your own life and you see yourself stumble, you may think that those of us who reached a certain level of their profession, that they didn't stumble. My life, there are so many stumbles. But, you know, it's about how do you have the necessary grit and how do you do it in a very graceful manner?

We talked a little bit before the interview and I said you are the definition of resilience and grit and grace. I have to keep it real here. When I first heard about you, I did look at your bio and I thought, he's into politics. And I don't— that's not really what the show's about. And I don't know anything about politics. That's really smart for me. I was really intimidated and I thought, he's like accomplished so much. But then I took a closer look. I saw all the hardships that you had from a very young age and overcame, then continued to have things. But I think there's something There's a default in you. What I would love to find out, because there's a default in you that you don't play the victim card. Your default seems to be, okay, what can I learn from this? How can I get through it? Then you make yourself better instead of bitter. And then what I was so impressed by is that you not only make yourself better, you share what you've learned and you use it to share it with your community and make them better. And your mom, you even helped your mom with her health issues and children with their health issues. Can you tell everybody a little bit about what happened when I think you were about 15 years old that kind of led you on the path to where you are today?

That's so true. My mom told me when I was a young man, she stated, a young child, actually. I remember I came home and I don't know if I was just humiliated. I don't remember what it was, but she sat there in the kitchen and she said, son, if you're fortunate to live long enough, you're going to be misfortunate or have a lack of fortune by are experiencing pain. Question becomes, how do you turn pain into purpose? And I remember, recall writing it in my room, and that's what life is about. You know, no matter who we are, we're going to have misfortune dealing with pain. And how do you turn that around? When I was a young man at the age of 15, my brother and I, we were arrested in South Jamaica, Queens. That was predominantly low-income African-American community. And the cops beat us really bad. They kicked us repeatedly in our groin area. Eventually, my brother— I still think he suffers from Emotional issues because of that emotional illness, but I just felt as though as life went on, I rededicated myself to really number one uplift the great law enforcement officers in our country, but also to show how do we rid our agencies of those who are not suitable to have the two most important rights we have in America. That's the right to take away liberty and the right to take away a person's life. That's dear to Americans, and I was committed to say that those who wear a law enforcement uniform across the country, they must. of our highest caliber. And I became a police officer and started an organization within the police department that really fought for reform and fought for change. And at the same time, we fought to deal with the crime. Because remember, when I joined police in 1984, we were in a different America. Crack was ravaging our communities. We were dealing with a lot of gun violence, a lot of problems. So there was a balance, and I just saw using that moment to really turn around what policing meant for people and how we could use it to serve and protect.

I'm married to— well, my husband's been retired for a few years now, Lieutenant Commander for the California Highway Patrol. Some of the things that he— you guys see as police officers are things that the average person never see in their lifetime, whether it be death, a lot of death. He was able to turn that off when he came home or compartmentalize and then shut that off so he could have a family life. But I know a lot of— Cops have a hard time and they do suffer from mental health issues. And even the suicide rate has statistically gone up. How did you deal with just the stress levels of seeing all that you saw when you were with the NYPD?

I did what a number of people in the department would do until I retired. What I did while I was active was different from what I did when I was retired. As you indicated, what your husband may have witnessed Death was the easy part. Responding to a homicide, a shooting, someone lost their life. What was the hardest part was seeing what was dying inside of people while they were alive.

Mm.

People were basically walking dead. They were living in just environments that were just so horrific. And you think that, you know, you just sweep it off to the side. It was another day on the job, another day of responding to some horrific case. But it wasn't until I concluded my career that I understood that I was suffering from PTSD. Because you were moving at such a fast pace, You really didn't have time to reflect. But those first few weeks, few months, when life slowed down a little, I was able to just relive a lot of those episodes. It was almost like you're doing a rewind in your brain of the 22 years watching some of the cruelties that man did to man. And I had to find a way not only to just say, how do you go forward, but how do you really start the process of healing? And healing is not ignoring. Healing is identify, recognize, and start the self-healing process.

Okay, I just want to say that again. Identify, recognize, and then start the healing. And I think that's so important because for me too, I did not realize for so much of my life some traumatic things that had happened I was just running from. I just kept busy. I was an overachiever. I would just run, physically run. I was like a marathoner. But it wasn't until my motorcycle accident when I was stuck in a hospital bed and I couldn't do anything that all the pain that I tried to stuff down, all the trauma, it all came up and I had to recognize it before I could start to heal it, which isn't easy. And it's not very pretty either. So it's not like I just saw it and then everything got better. It's a process and it takes time. I love that you talk a lot about mental health. You talk about nutrition because there was a time when all of a sudden, I'm not sure, it was not that long ago that you were diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

Yes. Yes.

I mean, you lost part of your eyesight. Do you still have nerve damage in your hands?

I was at the late stage of diabetes. Diabetes, prediabetes, and diabetes, there are levels depending on how high your A1C, your blood sugar level. It determines how late your stages actually are. And I was at a late stage. I lost that As you indicated, I lost the vision in my left eye. I was losing it in my right. My doctor told me, my ophthalmologist said, you are legally blind. You have to turn in your driver's license. They told me at the time it was permanent nerve damage in my hands and feet and could lead eventually to limb amputation, 'cause diabetes is the number one cause of blindness and the number one cause of non-trauma limb amputation. I had ulcer. That was what got me to the hospital in the first place. I was feeling this serious pain in my stomach. I knew it wasn't gas because it was just sitting there. I decided when I went to the doctors, He sent me to have my stomach and my colon checked. And after I came from under sedation and he looked at my blood work, my endocrinologist sent over my records and stated that, Eric, I'm surprised you're not in a coma. He said, I need to put you on insulin right away and 3 medications. He wanted to give me medication for my vision loss, medication for my nerve damage, medication for my cholesterol. Just a whole bag of medication. I decided to do something different and not just follow the path because I saw what diabetes did to my mom. And what it did to the other family members who were either diabetic or pre-diabetic.

You decided to do something different. That is what I think so many of us need to do. There are some amazing doctors out there, and ultimately we have to be our own advocate and really look out what's best for us. Look, I was told I would be wheelchair-bound for the rest of my life, and I was out there swinging a kettlebell earlier in between Zoom sessions. And because I was like, There's nothing wrong with being in a wheelchair. My brother's been in a wheelchair his whole life, but I wanted something different. And so I thought, well, I've got to do something different. How did you start to do something different? Did you just change your food?

That's a powerful term you said, doing something different, because on the other side of success is different. If we do what we've always done, then we're going to get the results that we always receive. And so when you say, hey, I'm going to do something different, because as human beings, Tradition is important to us. We want to maintain the traditional structures and form because that's how we are wired to be a part of and belong to. When you stepped out of what you decided to do, because traditionally the doctor tells you, hey, you're not going to look at Z. 5 of my best doctors in the city all told me that, Eric, you're in medicine for the rest of your life and you're going to experience your vision loss and you're going to lose some fingers and toes. I decided that I wanted to do something, as you said, different. I remember like it was yesterday, and I share this with people all the time, of the pamphlets that were given to me talked about living with diabetes. When I sat down at the computer and decided to type on Google, I typed reversing diabetes. That one word—

Wow.

Made a difference. It changed the search. The journey I went on was a different journey because I decided to change the power of one word, because words are powerful. By changing that, instead of showing me all the ways of living with diabetes, it showed me the ways of reversing diabetes. And I was able to find some great doctors, Dr. Esselstyn, Dr. Greger, Dr. Barnard. I started reading their information. I flew to Ohio and saw Dr. Esselstyn. He gave me exactly what I needed to do. And I just dove in headfirst and said, you know, we're going to do this.

Wow. That is amazing. You're right. Just one word can change So much. And also, I think that one word or one thing, or like me, I had a 1% chance of saving my leg. I focused on the 1%.

Well said.

I was like, okay, I got the 1% and we're gonna save this leg. I think that it's when we can think outside of the box and just constantly strive to better ourselves. But you really go beyond that. And when I think of service, I really think of all that you do because you really serve your community. It's very rare because my husband being in the police force, I've been around a lot of cops for years. I've never really come across any of his friends that meditate and do all the things that you do. But you're a big strong guy. You look strong. You look very like intimidating except for when you smile like you're smiling. But I just I saw that you do so much for your community, whether it is leading a dance, you know, an online dance group. I saw you were leading a meditation or you were helping people have a better Memorial Day by providing, you know, ways to get out in the park and get outside. What do you think? Did your parents instill that in you? Was it your upbringing that instilled that in you to be of service like you do? Or what do you think? How did you learn that? Is it something you can learn?

I have an amazing mom. As you indicated, she too was diabetic. After I went to a whole food plant-based diet, 3 weeks my vision came back, and after 3 months my diabetes went in remission, as well as many of the other chronic diseases I was experiencing. I was able to have mom also do the same. After 2 months, mom was off her insulin and, you know, some of the medications she was taking. It was important to me because it was a way of giving back to a woman I admire who just really never gave up. A very challenging life, moving from a very difficult environment where I was born in Brownsville, Brooklyn. Brownsville is really the symbol of everything that's bad about poverty in America. She was able to get us out of there, not because of what she knew. She was a modern-day explorer. She went beyond the boundaries of what she knew. All she knew was that there was a better life than what we had. Moved us into a home in Queens. And I watched her just never give up mindset. She never surrendered. So when I had to make the decision of doing something about health, it was about not giving up. And but it was also something else that was very important. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a different time. I don't want to sound nostalgic, but I grew up in a time when neighbor meant neighbor. There was no such thing as homeless shelters. You let in your neighbor on hard times. Our neighbors used to chip in money to pay our mortgages when need be. There were many holidays, Easter, when we I would wake up and on the back porch were 6 pairs of shoes that someone left there for the families. Or they'll just slip and leave groceries on the step during Thanksgiving and Christmas or slip money under the door. We've had this constant support system from people, and I knew that communities gave back. So I'm really afraid— I'm petrified, to be exact— that if I don't continue to deposit in the social bank of life, When I need to draw on the equity, nothing would be there. And so I need to continue to deposit every day. I got to make a contribution and deposit. I have this 100-point system that I live by. Every night before going to sleep, I have to get 100 points. Saying hello to someone is a point. Holding the door for someone is another 3 or 4 points. Giving some food away to someone is a 10-pointer. Standing up on the bus or train is a 3-pointer. And I add up at the end of the day, and I have to get to 100. If I don't have 100, I put The difference in a job that I contribute to people, it's a constant reminder building in the system. There by the grace of God go I, because people were there for me. I have to be there for others.

Amen. I love that. I think we should all practice the 100-point system. That should be included as part of the school curriculum, too. I mean, that's amazing. I learned a long time ago, I used to try to do everything on my own. Like, I've got to work hard if I want something. I'm going to have to work hard for it. I was very fortunate after my motorcycle accident that I had such a good community. And people said, well, you were lucky you had a good community. And I said, well, hard work puts you where your blessings can find you. A community isn't about just taking. It is about being of service, about giving, and not just money, but just your time, just a shoulder for somebody to cry on.

That's so true. I was raised in a Christian household, and I'm so glad you said that. As a Christian, we believe in the concept of Tithing is a tithe offering where you give 10% of your salary back. And Mom taught us it's not only 10% of how much money you make, but 10% of your life at a minimum. Give 10% of what you do. It's easy to write a check if you have financial means, but take 10% of your time and do something for someone. You know, go to a senior center, cornrow, or go on an errand for a senior. You know, go to a boys club and volunteer your time. So it's been built into us. Don't try to take the easy way out and just write a check on Sunday and then throughout the rest of the week. You actually cheated God because you gave him 10% of your economics, but you didn't give him the percentage of your life. Tithe and offer with your life. Give back with your life and your time.

I love that. During this time, I've actually had friends that have reached out and said, I'm bored. And I've had friends that have reached out and said they're lonely. And I'm like, there's so much you can do. Be of service. Go donate your time, make masks, make food. And if you're lonely, my suggestion is always call 3 people and see how you can be of service to them.

Love it.

You know, at least 3 people a day, see how you can help them. What can you do? And I think that being of service is what strengthens our community. After seeing all you do, you give way more than 10%. I mean, I am blown away by all you do. I'm just curious, what are your next big goals? Because you do so much. I'm just curious what your next big goals are.

Continue to just evolve as a human being. After the reversal of diabetes, I've started a process of introducing myself to someone that I've been around all the time, but I really didn't know. And that's myself. I'm spending a lot of time of just really knowing who I am. And it's really amazing. As smart and as wise we are as human beings, how little we know about ourselves, how little we know what it takes for us to function. I recall when I was told I was type 2 diabetic, my son said, Dad, I saw— I witnessed you put the best oil and gas in your car, but you didn't put the best food in your body. I'm in a place of really discovering the human experience. I'm driven by not politics, but by purpose and really enjoying this journey. And I think that the journey is going to reveal itself. What's the next level for me? It is clearly not about the destiny. It is about the journey. I am living in the present and not trying to force what the future is going to be, not to regret what the past was, but I'm really in the present. And this journey is an amazing journey. And every lesson that comes with it is a purpose and a reason to build the totality of who I am as a human being. And so I look forward to continue to be a public servant, no matter what capacity that it is in. And use all of my experiences to help people over those difficult times that they may experience.

Well, you're doing such a beautiful job of all that you do. We're running out of time. I could talk to you all day, and I know you're such a busy man, and I just appreciate you being on.

Thank you.

I would love to know, what is your definition of resilience?

That's a great question. Resilience to me is not the good moments. I reflect back to September 11th when our center of trade was attacked by very mean people, and I watched those buildings collapse. And that evening, being down at Ground Zero, we now call it, and seeing just the dust and the smoldering— the ground was still smoldering and the ashes of not only buildings but bodies laid before us, and all the offices were covered with ash and soot. And just sitting around, we were stunned. There was a moment that I thought that, you know, where do we go as a country? How do we recover from this? But on September 12th, something amazing happened. Teachers got up and taught. Retailers opened their stores. Builders built. We functioned. And I think that America and the globe looked at us and stated that that's the energy and spirit that makes us who we are. The human spirit is a formidable opponent for anyone or anything that wants to collapse it. I say now in the age of COVID-19 that just as My grandparents were the generation of Pearl Harbor, and they continued to build and grow. My son and I, we're the generation of 9/11, and now we have a generation of COVID We have to find our purpose, and resiliency is to use these moments to say, how do we cycle out not only to be a better country, but to be better human beings and individuals? And that's what I'm looking to accomplish. To me, that's resiliency. You can always hit a bend in the road, but it's not the end of the road as long as we make the turn. And we're going to continue to make the turn.

That is amazing. Thank you for all you do.

Thank you.

And I'll tell you what, I hope that I get to meet you in person someday. If you're ever in LA, I hope you please come over for dinner.

One of my favorite places is LA. That's God's country.

It's beautiful. We think about moving and it's just so pretty out here. Mountains and the ocean. I just love it.

Really great speaking with you, and I wish you all the love.

Thank you so much. Thank you for being on.

Thank you.

Thanks so much for joining us this week on True Grit and Grace Podcast. If you like it, please rate it or share it with your friends. That would help too. If you're not yet on the newsletter list, come over to Amberly Go to amberlylago.com and jump on it. While you're there, you can grab a free downloadable gratitude journal, and you might just want to check out my book or even check out my monthly motivational membership. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next week.

Bye.