Being Exactly Who You Are with Phoebe Mroczek

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hey, y'all. Thank you for tuning in to True Grit and Grace. I have to say, if you have ever felt like you're drowning in to-dos and almost thrown in the towel, or if you feel like you're already behind by the time you wake up, or maybe you feel like you're a slave to the system who puts out fires all day long and you're working your tail off on just the edge of burnout, I'm so glad you're here because I have with us today the one, the only, Phoebe Morowczyk. And I hope I said that okay. Like Muro, like bro, like Murocek. Everybody got that? Phoebe. Now, if you wanna just Google her, go ahead and Google stalk her right now. She's got an incredible podcast. It's called Unbecoming. And y'all, she is a business advisor. She's gonna help us today. She's a marketing strategist to the most successful industry leaders, helping them intentionally create and integrate their own unique formula for mastery. deep connection and fulfillment. Let's just say that one again— fulfillment. And I think you bring a whole lot of joy. But you know what, Phoebe, you had me when I read about you traveling to 15 different countries on a motorcycle. So I have so many questions to ask you. Thank you for being here on the show.

Thank you so much for having me. I am so excited. I was just saying right before we started recording that I listened to your show. I love guests that you bring on. So I feel so honored and humbled, and I'm excited for today's conversation.

Oh, well, thank you. I've listened to your show and I've been practicing your name and I'm like, okay, I wanna make sure I get it right. Uh, it's a fancy last name. So y'all Google her, check her out on Instagram. By the way, thank you so much for being here. But we first met on a Clubhouse room. We have a mutual friend, Anthony Trucks, and we were on a Clubhouse room together and I was like, who is this amazing lady? And we messaged each other. on Instagram and we're like, hey, you wanna jump on a phone call? And we just had so many things in common. And now even today, you know, sometimes as an entrepreneur, it's easy to get caught up in almost like tunnel vision where you're, you're working on a project or I'm sometimes in this tiny little office recording all day or on Zooms all day. And to actually talk to someone who gets where you're coming from, who knows how it is to be an entrepreneur, it was like So refreshing to get to connect with you. And I'm really excited to share with everybody. I know there's a lot of people out there that have big dreams and big goals, and it can be challenging. And I told you when we started on this interview, before I pressed record, I was like, I was almost in tears today. And I'm like, Amberly, get a grip on what's important. Like, get a grip. And so first of all, I want to know how you found your way into something of fulfillment and got out of your own way and stopped being burnt out and became the founder of Unbecoming. Can you share a little bit about what that looked like, where you were, and how you got to where you are now?

Oh my gosh, I don't even know where to begin on that. There have been so many different paths that have brought me here. So I would say most significantly, I was a Division 1 college athlete. So I played soccer. Soccer was like my dream. It's what I worked for since the age of 5. And I got there. And was like, this is supposed to be this big, exciting thing that it's just not what I thought it would be, not what I was hoping I would feel like. So I made that shift. I quit, which was the first adult decision I had ever made when I was 19 years old. You know, it just crushed everyone around me because that was who I was supposed to be, right? So moved into travel, was like, okay, I got my feet wet in travel, wanted to go all over the place. So we can speak to the motorcycle trip, which is only a couple years ago, kind of got feet wet, wanted to see the world, wanted to see more outside of what I knew to be true, which was soccer, and soccer is the only way. And so inside of my travel, I started to see a greater sense of entrepreneurship has always kind of been in my blood. But I was toggling between traveling and working, you know, starting my own business, and then had several, several years of that, loving it. And I've always— I mean, travel's in my blood. It's who I am, just as much as entrepreneurship. And then one of the things that bonded you and me was 2, almost 2 and a half years ago, I was hit by a car. So I was doing all the things right. If this felt like the second big shift. So the first one, um, in soccer when I was 18, kind of had this moment, this awakening, right? Where I was like, everything that I thought was supposed to be one way is not that way. So what gives? In that same year that I quit, my dad actually passed away very suddenly. So I was dealing with that, having that crazy crossroads of my life and just like this. Real crisis of identity that came back again 2 and a half years ago when I thought I was doing everything right. I had a great business doing the things that I thought I was supposed to do on paper. My life looked amazing. And I'm crossing the street in Austin, Texas, get hit by a car and completely blindsided as far as like, why is this happening right now? And again, came back to that crisis of identity and was like, what am I actually doing? What's important? Okay.

I have to ask you though, cuz I mean, I'm just asking Because my daughter and I were just hit by a car in a crosswalk a year ago. And did you see the car coming?

So all I remember, I remember crossing the street, like the little blinking light, you know, the man was blinking, man. And I start crossing, and I just turned to the side. And I remember I touched the car right before it hit me, but I just, I didn't even see it coming. It ran a red light, it turned right into me. And so I put my hand on the hood of the car. And then, the next thing I remember, I'm on the pavement on the actual road and I'm terrified. I hear screaming. I hear all these people, like all these women specifically screaming. And, I just was so terrified that there was another car coming.

Yeah.

Didn't really know what to expect. And, that's all I remember. So, I didn't see it coming. I saw it at the last second and I just remember this white car hitting me. And, that was the start of this uncovering of a whole new transition for me in my life.

On that part, were you taken and obviously taken to the hospital? And how long were you in the hospital?

So, you know, I actually refused the ambulance, which I've learned now is not the way to do things, but it was just the adrenaline in me. So there was a man behind me who also got hit, and this man came, helped me up, and I was so concerned with everybody else being okay, which I think a lot of women can probably relate to.

Yeah.

And, you know, I'm making sure he's okay and the The guy's like, am I— are you okay? You're the one who got hit. I'm like, no, are you? And then the driver, I was like, are you okay? And, and so it was so much adrenaline that I didn't actually— so I ended up, I walked home.

Wow.

And the whole walk home—

What a miracle that you were able to walk home though. But I'm sure you felt it when that adrenaline wears off. It's like the adrenaline is the best pain reliever. Oh my God, talk about a powerful drug. But the minute that adrenaline leaves, it's like the pain can just come rising up to the surface. Were you in a lot of pain?

I was holding so much together that I didn't realize. I was hit 3 blocks from my house, thank God, which was great. 'Cause then when I got home, the mantra that I was repeating the whole way home, I think so I could like keep it together, was, this is a gift and I don't know why. This is a gift and I don't know why. And I got to my apartment and I just Like I got into the lobby of my building and I just dropped everything and started bawling. And the poor lady behind the front desk was like, what is going on? I'm like, no, I just got hit by a car. And I started like hyperventilating almost because I didn't know what really— it just in that moment I could like actually release. And, and so by the time I got to my apartment, I started feeling the like heat in my legs and it's just like my head was hurting. Everything was pounding, my legs, my lower back. I mean, it was such an incredible pain. And I had headaches for 6 months after. I mean, I was counting my headaches from 70 headaches a day to— I mean, it was just the most incredible healing and recovery path, which I know you know a lot about as well.

Well, yeah, somebody was joking with somebody the other day. I said my next book should be Look Both Ways. Because I've actually been hit by a car 3 times. And it's like, what I was saying when I was in the back of the ambulance this last time with my daughter was, What can I learn from this? What do I need to learn from this? What did I— what do I need to learn from this that I didn't learn the previous time that I was hit by a car? And I love that you had this mantra that got you through that. This is a gift, and I don't know why. This is a gift. I don't know what it is. What has that gift been for you?

Oh my God. I mean, so many things. I love to make metaphors out of everything in my life. And so the, you know, you're What you were looking at is like, what can I learn from this? I remember so clearly I was meditating because that's really all I could do for the first couple of weeks. It's just like sit and meditate or I'd be crying. So I'm sitting and meditating and I remember being like, God, I'm always in a rush to get somewhere. I'm never happy with where I am. I'm always trying to get somewhere further. And in this moment, if I had been any further, he would have killed me. However, what I did was I took a step back. Like, that is something I very clearly remember, is I took a step back and then the car hit me. And so the thought for me was, wow, can I just appreciate sometimes that it's actually about patience? It's not about rushing. It's about enjoying where you are and just being hyper-aware. And I've always thought of myself as an aware person. And for me, you know, I've had a couple people be like, how did you not see a car turn? I'm like, I just in that moment, maybe I wasn't present. Maybe I was, you know, I know I was on my way home after a meeting to like get somewhere, you know. And, and so I've learned so much about myself. And what was required of me at that time was to really look at my life and think through, what if that was it? Would I be okay? What haven't I achieved yet? Who am I not being in this moment that I really would like to be? So It was just a general upheaval of my life, looking at all of the areas of my life that maybe looked great on paper, but were not great internally. And as a result of that, I ended up firing all my clients, taking almost a year of really just getting into more like spiritual coaching and really looking at myself as a spiritual being who I have been for a very long time, but really diving deep into that because that was what was required. And then just a general like pruning of people in my life. It's like the people and the projects that I was looking at or involved in, do those people serve me? And so really taking inventory of my life was probably the best gift. And it's led me to this really powerful place that I feel right now that I've never had in my whole life.

Wow. You know, I think that, well, I've never met anyone who has not been on a spiritual journey or some sort of awakening or transformation that it didn't involve or start with pain, you know? And for me, Absolutely. Pain has been my biggest teacher, and it can either lead you into becoming this new and better version of yourself, or it can take you down. And, and for me, I was in that place too, where I was like, okay, I'm either gonna die or I need to choose a different way. And literally, I was like, I, I— it was like I was at this crossroads and I was like, oh, I've got to make a decision. And so in making those decisions, I mean, it's scary when you have to let people go sometimes, especially that, you know, you're working for them. And I mean, I'm an overcoming people pleaser. And, and for so long, you know, I remember when my book launched or the day it published. And I, I have this amazing publicist that I work with and she's like, you say yes to everything. I don't care what podcast, what blog post, what interview, what live, what, whatever. Say yeah. You gotta say yes. And so it wasn't until this year actually that I started saying no to some things, which is really hard. But a lot of times I always like pick a word or, you know, really set my intentions for the year. And my word has always been grit. Or resilience or persistence or persevere. And this year it's joy. I want to have more joy for the journey, you know, because so many of us are just working, working, working, working, especially as an entrepreneur. And we're like, wait a minute, aren't this supposed to be fun? Like life is supposed to be fun. I mean, I'm all for working hard and I love the hustle and I love grit. I just want to share this with you really quick. Cause I'm so excited about it. I had a real hard time resting. And I finally found a way for me to rest. I am like you, was an athlete my whole life. And I think that athletes make an incredible entrepreneur because we have that competitive— we want to go, we want to do it. Give me a goal and I'm on top of it. Well, I had to make rest— I realized it clicked for me this morning. I had to make rest part of like my business strategy and part of a plan for myself.

Mm-hmm.

And I just got this ring called Oura. Have you ever heard of it?

Yeah. Yep. I've got one. You have one?

Yep.

Oh my God.

I just got it. And I've— this is the 3rd day I've worn it. I'm in no way affiliated with them or anything, but I wake up excited to see— I go to bed like, okay, I gotta go to bed because I want my rest score to be like really good. I wanna see what my deep sleep is. I wanna— and do you know, it's really made me— it's like a competition for myself to see how much great sleep that I can get so I can do better. And that's so fun.

I do have a ring too. It's, it's amazing because I actually woke up this morning. I was like, oh my God, I slept for 9 hours. I'm recovering from a cold and I slept for 9 hours. I was checking my Oura Ring. I'm like, this— look at my data. I'm amazing. I was so excited to be like this. You know, I only woke up twice. Yeah, I love my ring. Yes.

Isn't that crazy? But I mean, that's part of it. Like, I was just like, okay, going, going, going on 4 hours of sleep, 5 hours of sleep. And you hear people say hustle, hustle, and I'm like, no, I need to like sleep so I can be alert and I can be more creative and productive. And so all these things— what have been some of the hardest things for you as far as when you decided to make this big shift and you got, you got rid of all your clients? What— how did you go about doing that? What— and what were the first steps that you took to take better care of yourself? I mean, part of it, the reason I thought of this was just because I just decided this year to start doing that for myself because my health was kind of suffering, to be honest with you. And so I just want to know, how did you start making that shift for yourself?

Well, I got really clear. I think that's the first thing is I got really clear on what kind of life I wanted to lead, because so many people try to fit their life into their business. I work with a lot of entrepreneurs, as opposed to your business into your life. And I, you know, I'm one of the first people to say your work is so important, but I also don't believe that it's the only thing that's important, right? I— there's so many other aspects of our lives that business or work is just such a small piece of it, even though it can feel all-encompassing if you're you know, having a launch or doing whatever kind of promotion, you know, that feels really important. But I got really clear and I got clear by giving myself a lot of space. So at that time, you know, I would walk in Austin, I would walk the loop all the time. And one day I came home and I— it was like out of a movie. It felt like Bridget Jones maybe, where I closed the door and I just kind of slid down the door and I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. And it was all about my work. I'm like, wow. And it actually really made me nervous because I've been business coaching for 5 to 6 years at that point. And I'm like, this is who I am. So what do I mean? I don't want to do this. Like the words just fell out of my mouth out loud. And I was like, oh no, I have to acknowledge it now because it came out. And I realize now it actually wasn't what I was doing. It was who I was doing it with, which was at that time just exhausting me. And so there's a really important distinction there to figure out if you don't like what you're doing. what piece of it do you not enjoy versus throwing the whole baby out with the bathwater, right? So figuring out what piece don't you enjoy, and you can always find a replacement or change or transform that. The other piece about me personally, as it relates to people, the thing that I don't think people ever talk about is they always say, you know, make room for what you want. And so then you go and you do that and you're like, okay, I'm just gonna, you know, set some boundaries, reinforce those boundaries, which is also can be a challenge. And then when it comes to, Making room. Well, what happens in the in-between, right? When they— if the acrobat like lets go of the bar and you're in the free fall, nobody talks about the free fall because that's the part that's really uncomfortable where you're like, wait a second, where are all these people who are supposed to come into my life to fulfill on what I want as part of my community? Where are those people? And for me, it lasted way longer than I thought. That was like a good 5, 6 months of like hold on a second, where is everybody? You know? And that led to a lot of loneliness and a lot of like deep reflection in me that was like, what am I willing to stick it out for the promise of better friends, of better clients, of a better life? And I was committed to that even in the deepest, darkest, lonely nights. And I was sharing about that on my podcast or, you know, on Instagram or with my friends because I knew, I was like, I can't be the only one feeling this way.

Mm-hmm.

So allowing myself that that space, to not have to fill it immediately, right? It's like silence, not having to fill the space just so that somebody doesn't become uncomfortable. It's actually just steeping in that silence and getting really honest with myself about what I'm committed to. And if that is true, then I don't need all of these things or people or whatever to fill that, to fill that void. So.

That is the definition of grit though, actually. Like, you were willing to go through those really tough situations. Um, you know, I just did a talk. I just got back from Arizona, and I talked about really how to build grit. And the first part of it was really looking to see what is your vision, creating a vision for yourself. And I mean, it sounds exactly like what you're describing. creating a vision for yourself, becoming a part of that vision, and then feeding that vision with positivity. And, and how much are you willing to really go through hard times and suffer through sometimes just so— and have that patience to get to the place that you want? And a lot of times I think that, you know, it looks easy, that some people are just overnight successes at what they do. And it's like, I love that you share So honestly and vulnerably about, you know, that it, it wasn't so easy. It wasn't a piece of cake, but you had this vision and you were willing to stick it out to do it. One of your quotes that I love really hit home for me, and it— because I had a friend of mine tell me one time she could see how hard I was working, and I was in the ER like 6 times in 1 year, and I was like killing myself. And she's like, you know, Amberly, you're Impact is only as strong as you are healthy. And I was like, whoa. And you wrote— you have a quote saying, our businesses are only as strong as the personal foundation it's built on. And I love that. That really hit home because you started taking care of yourself in every way. So we talked about like getting sleep and you're like, woohoo, 9 hours.

I know.

I'm a freaking rock star. Which totally shifts your perspective, right? Where— I mean, it really does, because I slept in this morning. I usually get up at 5 and I slept till 6, and I woke up to how great I got 7 hours of sleep. And it was like, wow, I got 7 hours of sleep. I'm so awesome. It's that shift in your perspective.

Mm-hmm.

But then also taking a look, that distinction that you made between, is it the work that you don't like doing, or is it the people that you work with? Because I feel like everything is energy, and when you are working around or with some energy vampires, of course you're going to be drained. And so setting up those healthy boundaries, which sometimes means you got to let them go, which is not always easy, but if you want to succeed and you want a fulfilling life, it's what you have to do. But now you work with Huge brands. I just saw that you're working with this huge fitness company and you're the head of client acquisition. Now, how did you get into that? And it's for the global fitness brand Muscle Intelligence. How did you get into that?

So one of the things that really came up for me in my getting clear about where headed Who I am, who I know myself to be, right? Those are like the big powerful questions that I was asking myself. And one of the things that I saw was I was carrying a lot of weight that didn't feel like mine. It was a really weird sensation where all of a sudden something clicked for me. It was last February, February 2021, and there was just a moment that I had where literally everything changed. And I know it was February 1st, so 2/1/21. And, I just realized I'm like, this isn't me. This is not— what am I doing? And, it was just this really great awakening for me. And so, as a result of that, I just recommitted to who I know myself to be. And, that was somebody who's fit and somebody who looks the part and someone who's powerful and strong both physically, mentally, emotionally, all of those.

Yeah.

And, one of the biggest commitments for myself in 2021 was to drop the weight. And it's— since then, I've lost over 50 pounds, which—

It was 50 pounds?

It was 50 pounds in 8 months.

Wow.

And it was so crazy to me because it was just all made in a decision. Like, the moment I decided, it's done. And I'm like, okay, I knew what I looked like, what I was supposed to look like. And so I lost 50 pounds being committed to discipline being committed to myself, to looking the part, right? I'm like, I talk to these really powerful people, these big leaders, people who other people look up to. That's, that's me. And so when I started doing it, I started looking for help and looking for some guidance because I clearly wasn't doing it right. And as a result, you know, what I talk a lot about is that it wasn't about the WEIGA. Like the physical weight. It was, but it wasn't. It was so much deeper with the emotional wait, W-A-I-T. It was me waiting for something or a project or a person or a team or whatever it was. I decided to stop waiting and just do it. So I just got on with it. And that was all of my year last year, which has been the most incredible gift for me.

Wow.

as part of my transformation stemming from the accident. And, as a result of that, getting involved with Muscle Intelligence, I run all of the client acquisitions. So, anything from attracting our dream clients, how do we do that? Well, we do that because we know who we are. And, I can buy into that vision. I've been on that journey. I talk to men and women all the time who are unsure or they don't feel good in their body, but they've got these hugely successful businesses behind Mm-hmm. And you're, you know, the quote that you used of mine, the personal foundation, any of the business coaching I've ever done over the last 8 years, it all goes personal first because our business is a reflection of who we are. And so if you've built your business on a rocky foundation, it's never gonna go anywhere. So that's always what I'm looking for is like, who are we? Who are you? And how do we create a business around that? How do we create a message? and the marketing channels and the marketing message ultimately to get the right people on board and repel the wrong people. And I've done that several times in my career. So I felt like I know very well how to do that.

Well, you know, I love that you're like, it was a decision, like you made a decision. And I think, you know, you can't just command and then the universe is like, okay, I'm listening. Or, you know, you can't just add God to create the ideal life. You really have to take action deliberately. And sometimes that means investing in yourself and a coach. But really, again, you became this vision and you just decided. And once you decided, you were like, oh yeah, I'm doing this. But it's so true, Phoebe. Like, I noticed if I've seen somebody who's really successful but their personal life is just a mess, or they're, they're unhealthy, they look unhealthy, to me they lose credibility, you know. And I'm not saying I'm perfect. Shoot, I am far from it. And I look a mess a lot of times. I'm not saying that. But I'm saying for me, health and wellness is utmost priority, and then the rest will follow. But without my health, I've got nothing. Without my sobriety, I have nothing. I always say that without my spiritual growth every day, I've got nothing. And so, man, you are just like the poster child for this company for people who do want to make that decision to let go of the weight. And I just had this conversation with a client of mine yesterday. You know, I still have a handful of clients that I train. I was a fitness trainer for 26 years, and I still have some clients that I trained through Zoom that I love. And she was asking me a question. And I said, I don't think you should wait anymore. I think this is your year to not wait and to do what your heart has been calling you to do. So don't wait. And to hear you, I can't wait to share this episode with her.

Yeah, well, so many people are— they're waiting for someone to rescue them, or they're waiting for a business or someone to knock on the door or And it's just about getting that within yourself, understanding why that's important, and then just showing up every day for yourself. And that's when I decided to take it all into my own hands, which it's always been, but it just had to be a conscious decision for myself to be like, wait a second, what am I doing? And I didn't even realize how much I was holding on to. And so it felt like it didn't feel hard because I knew how to— I then got the support and I knew exactly what I needed to do to get there. But it's amazing how much I underestimated how great feeling good can actually be and what, like, the impact of what that looks like in all other areas of my life. I didn't realize that. I didn't realize, you know, when we say that we make these almost snap decisions or judgments about the way people look, Like that's we don't mean to we we just do.

It's human nature. It it really is. You it's human nature.

And so you see someone, yeah, you're like I see you at the top of your field, but you don't look good, or you don't have a relationship with your family, or whatever it was. And last year my mantra was falling in love, and I just said I was like I wanna I don't want to just like myself. I want to fall in love with myself. I don't want to just like my business. I want to love it. And so I just like infused. This love into everything that I was doing. And it sounds so cheesy, but it was like the motivation that I needed to actually fall in love with my life and every aspect of it. And, you know, some are better than others and, you know, I'm better than others, you know, in certain ways. But it was this idea that I wanted to be my own role model because I was so sick of looking out to everyone else to role model for me. And it's not anyone's responsibility to be a role model for me. It's my responsibility to be a role model for myself. And so I took that job upon myself and was like, what does my role model look like? Who is that woman? And I'm just going to show up and become that. And so my, you know, my podcast is all about unbecoming, like shedding what's not you. So that was the year after my accident, was like shedding all the stuff that wasn't me. And then I could actually become the woman that wanted to be the role model for myself. And And it was this really interesting dynamic to live in one and then step into the other. And it's been just really interesting to see how other people respond and how my business has taken off and how, you know, just certain areas of my life have completely shifted because I want to—

Talk about that, people responding. Now, I'm sure you've had some good response, really good response, and I'm sure you've had some maybe bad response of people, because anytime you change, people are like, like, ooh, you've changed. Yep. Or, or I've had people in my life that I didn't know at the time, but they kind of liked it when I was down. You know, let me kick her when she's down. That sounds terrible. But I mean, did you have a response from people that were— you lost some friends that they didn't like the transformation in you? Or was everybody like, ooh, we love this?

No, no. I wish I could say that was the case. But change is confronting, right? Change confronts other people and puts them in their mess. And so when you see me succeeding or I all of a sudden have muscles and abs and, you know, it's like, whoa, what does that say about you? So I've been good. I can't say I'm great at it, but I've been good about understanding that what, you know, your judgment of me is a reflection of you. So that's great. It doesn't always happen. Certain comments sting, right? But in a lot of my conversations, when I feel like it's taking a negative turn or it would be easier for them if I wasn't me or this way or fit, then it's taking a moment to just remember this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. And so I have lost friends who are like, oh, I don't know you anymore. And who do you think you are to do X, Y, and Z? And that's okay because we're just not a match. We're not— you were talking about energy. I'm a big believer everything is energy. So we're just not a match anymore. And if I can stay in that frequency or vibration to say, okay, I'm gonna keep what's mine and I'm gonna let go of what's not mine, 'cause this actually doesn't have anything to do with me. It's such a much more empowering stance than me then to just layer on top my judgment of their judgment. And then it becomes, you know, not productive at all. So, oh yeah, I totally agree.

I'm sure, but I'm glad you shared that. I mean, because I've experienced that as well. And a book that really helped me with that, that I always remember, is The Four Agreements. Have you read that book? Yeah, yeah, I love that book. Yeah. And, and, you know, I like the be impeccable with your word, but I think one of the things that I remember often about The Four Agreements is don't take anything personally. And realize that, yeah, you're a mirror to what somebody is not doing, or maybe what somebody is doing. And it's powerful when we can just let it go and stay in our lane. You know, I have to remember, stay in my lane, you know. And so that was powerful. Thank you for sharing that. But I wanted to ask you also, a lot of people that do feel like they're on the edge of burnout, like they're working their butts off and they are really, you know, they're, they're getting gritty and they've got a purpose and they have a story, they have a vision, and they're trying to become this vision. What would you suggest for them to do to prevent burnout?

Well, first off, just the awareness that you're headed there is a great step in the right direction. So I always say, I'm like, I had a mentor of mine who said, in the absence of clarity, take action. And for me, that didn't work. I was like, but then I just take action and then I go over here when I wanted to go over there. So I amended it and I said, in the absence of clarity, make space. And so I just, I have a really intentional, or I set out some real intentional time for me to create space for me to remember, A, who I am, B, what I want, and C, how to get there. And so When I'm headed towards burnout, it's just pulling back. And I'm a big calendar person. I love everything to be scheduled. And so I will just put different, um, you know, calendar reminders. I love it. Yep.

Like, like on the computer, but also paper. Yeah.

Yep. Yep. I'm with you. And that's like, if it's not scheduled, it won't happen. So just carving out that time and asking myself and sitting with questions, big questions. So one of the things that I get asked all the time, right, in these personal development workshops, people are like, you know, what do you really want in life? And I, I have my— I'm sure like anyone listening, and maybe you too, you know, I have these like canned responses that I would always say, well, I wanted to create this, you know, used to be adventure experiences for entrepreneurs, and it would just get everybody off my back and no one would ask any more questions. But I just started realizing I don't want to have a canned canned life, a canned response life, right? So instead of what do you want, if that question to you is like, well, I don't know what I want, or you find yourself coming up with the same things all the time, I just amended— I came up with alternative questions to these, or alternative questions to the, like, the world's biggest questions, like who are you, what do you want, all these. And one of mine was, wouldn't it be awesome if blank? And that's part of my journaling prompt. And so instead of what do I want, it just removes the pressure of what do you want? Well, it has to be this one thing and that's your thing forever to wouldn't it be awesome if, and then I just, I do this with my clients and it's almost like a brainstorming thing. It's a really fun game to play with people that you love. And the only acceptable response is yes, that would be awesome. You're not allowed to go into it or anything. One of my clients recently, she's like, like, wouldn't it be awesome if I just went into the grocery store and bought groceries for everybody in there? I'm like, yeah, that would be awesome. Wouldn't it be awesome if I changed careers and went over? Yeah, that would be awesome. It just allows the creative brain to start unraveling in the direction that your heart is leading it towards. So it's no longer about, well, what do I want? I want $10,000 a month, or I want a million clients by this. It's like, Okay. Or wouldn't it be awesome if I could transform the lives of 50 women over the next year? That would be amazing, right? Wouldn't it?

Mm-hmm.

And just let your body tell you what it wants. That's one of the biggest transformations for me in the last year. Losing so much weight was like, now I actually hear my body. Now when I say transforming 50, like my hair stands up and I'm like, whoa, okay. Like I can feel it. It's a, it's a real physical desire for me to help, you know, women and help business owners do what it is that they want to do. That really stems from creating the space and asking yourself the right questions.

Oh, I love that. So create some space, take some time for yourself. And as I'm hearing you say that, you know, my 13-year-old daughter, she— I'm like, she must be listening to your podcast because she says that all the time. Well, she actually says Wouldn't it be nice? And she says something like, we have a new fish aquarium. Wouldn't it be so nice if you had a beautiful fish aquarium in your office? Wouldn't it be nice if we went on a scooter ride? Like all these things. But she has been saying that a lot.

Oh my.

And it does, it just makes life like fun and like an adventure.

Yeah. You know? Yeah.

And so I love that you don't have like some canned, cuz you hear a lot of those responses. and it puts pressure on. It has to be this way. And I remember when I first got into speaking and I went to this speaker coach who was awesome, but it was very, it has to be this way and you have to dress this way. And of course you have to appear this way. And I could see the transformation in myself. I had some, you know, you have pictures that pop up on your phone, a memory of me when I first started speaking and I'm like in this very stiff business pantsuit. And I'm like, oh my gosh, that's so— I just posted a video of this last speaking event and I had somebody say, where's your outfit from? And I'm like, you know, I don't even think about that or exactly what I look like. I just dress what feels good and what feels fun and brings me joy. And I listen to my body. And somebody was like, oh, Oh, well, wow! You're dressed pretty crazy, and I didn't know you could dance. And I'm like, oh, you hadn't seen me dance. That's just a little bit of something. Then I thought this year when you said, I want, I I can actually hear my body and feel what your body's telling you. And it's interesting because this is the first time I'm like, I want to have that joy and dance on stage if I want to dance on stage and stop taking myself so seriously. So at this last event, I actually got this. young girl who was 16 to tap dance with me. And then I even got her mom to tap dance with me.

That's so awesome.

It was so much fun, you know? And it was like, I don't have to be this like very serious speaker that's on stage who doesn't talk to anybody in the audience. You must go backstage. I'm like, no, I want to talk to everybody.

Yep. Well, and the greatest thing about that, and this is what— where I feel like Like, you know, when I'm thinking through different sales conversations that I'm having or strategies, or even just me being with my friends, me being myself gives everyone else permission to just be them. We can just like, hey, let's just like cut all the stuff that doesn't work for us. The, you know, I have to get off stage and this is what we do. And we walk in a single-file line and we kind of look miserable and we sit in the green room and don't talk to anybody. And that's That doesn't work for me.

That doesn't work for me. And it's interesting.

I want to be dressed in a fun outfit, or I want people to understand that, you know, entrepreneurship or business or just being a human comes in all shapes and flavors and sizes. And who cares? And that was one of my guiding principles last year was like, who cares? Because if I care too much, then I'm not myself. And I'm too in my head. It's like when I Actually just show up. And I think since my accident, my podcast blew up because the first one back, I was having such memory issues that I couldn't actually remember what I was saying as I was saying it. And I showed up anyway. And I remember just sitting in my closet talking because it was dark and my eyes were hurting and my brain was hurting. And I remember saying on air, I was like, I have no idea what I just said, but I'm going to keep going. And I was so honest.

Mm-hmm.

And just about my life and my experience. And people want more of that and they want more of it because then they can see themselves in it, right? You can see yourself in a moment where you're like, I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I'm going to bring it back to a point here somewhere, sometime, you know? And that gives people permission to live out their dreams and to lose 50 pounds if they've got to lose 50 pounds, to get honest with yourself. If this isn't working, then Okay, you know, you've got 2 choices, or you've got— it doesn't matter if you choose, it's, you know, it's that you are going to choose. It's what you choose. Choose to be the same, have this default future, you know where you're headed based on where you are today, or make a shift, make a change, and start actually putting something together so you know if you're on track. I mean, it's all to me fun, which is when you said that, like, for me, fun is the number one guiding principle among Like, I just— if you're not having fun, what are you doing? It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Thank you for saying that. I had a real FOMO feeling last night. I had to say no to speaking at this big mastermind that's happening next week, but I was like, yeah, it all sounds fun, but I took in consideration like my health Being away from my family. Like, in the past, I would've just said, yes, I'll be there. Then I'm like, well, wait a minute. Am I recovered from this last trip? Like, really recovered from it? Is it really going to be fun for me to travel across the country again and sacrifice time and having fun with my family? Is it worth it? And I started for the first time in my life really kind of following the fun, like what my heart desires. And yeah, in my head I had to talk myself down off the ledge. I was like, oh, I think I made a mistake. I should have said yes to that. Look at all those entrepreneurs that are going to be there. I could see and be— oh, actually, I could have been with our friend Anthony Trucks.

Oh yeah.

Is going to be there. Yeah, all the— and I'm like, I should have said yes. And I'm like, nope, Amberly, what's meant for you will come your way. Just because you said no this time, it doesn't mean that you're gonna lose out on opportunities in the future. It means you're taking care of yourself. Like, yep, you know. And so you saying that really helped me in this moment. I mean, seriously, y'all, I do this podcast because I want to share struggles to success, but I also do it very selfishly because it's like a free coaching session for myself right now. Thank you very much.

I hear you. It's so great you pick up on little things, and that's it. It's like the message that you send out out to the universe or just to yourself is that, hey, I'm worth it. Put me above everybody, right? Even I work with a lot of parents and my partner has kids. And so I kind of have found myself in that role occasionally. And it's the, well, kids come first. Well, if your health and if you don't come first, nobody else can come after. So making sure that you are solid with your decisions and I've had to redefine fun for myself. Why was going to a barbecue and eating everything— why was that fun? Well, because then I could be relatable. And then it was like, what? Hold on, back up, reverse engineer fun. And what does that actually mean? Well, I think being fit with my friends would actually be— taking good care of myself is way more fun than just regretting all my decisions tomorrow morning. Why is that fun? But because it's been that pattern for so long, all it takes is a little awareness, a little, you know, attention, and then just reverse engineering. What is it? What life am I actually creating? So, you know, good on you for taking care of yourself. That's awesome.

Thank you. It's been a long time to get to this point to where I'm actually going, wait a minute, let me, let me see, check in with myself. And, and I really have, I'm telling you, put my health first. And, you know, when we first moved to Dallas, like, my goal was let me get a solid foundation. And what does that look like for me? And so I think it's an important question to ask yourself, whether you've moved across the country or halfway across the country, or you've changed gears or jobs or whatever it is, to look at that foundation that you're on. How can you make it solid? And for me, it was like the first thing I had to do was find a gym. Well, first thing I had to find— luckily I have recovery meetings online, but I'm like, I need to find a sober community right here in Dallas. I need to find a gym, and I gotta find a barn for my daughter so she can be around her horse friends and ride. And so that was like the second day we were here, we were at the barn. My husband's having furniture delivered, and I'm like, see ya, we're going to the barn. We gotta get grounded. We gotta get our foundation strong.

Yeah.

So yeah, yeah, I love what you share. And your last podcast episode— y'all check out her podcast, it's amazing. I think you get like something like 240,000, 250,000 listeners, not a month, every single week, that tune in to your show. And you help them release what's holding them back and realign their core values and step into the truth of who they really are. And I love all you shared today. I want people to have an opportunity to either be able to work with you, listen to your podcast, or see where you're gonna be next. So what's the best way for people to find you?

Instagram is the best place, @phoebe_mirocek. And then on the podcast, I love inviting more people into just having this conversation about getting honest about what's holding you back so that you can unbecome, so that you actually become the person, the woman, the man that you know yourself to be. And so I work every year with a handful of people where I actually personally mentor them and help them step into a healthier version of themselves, a wealthier version of themselves, and a more loving version. I think that's the piece that, you know, we've talked about a lot today is that foundational, you know, the personal foundation. What does that look like? And for me personally, it was a little embarrassing to admit all of the things that were in the closet, you know, that I wasn't really sure about who I was or You know, what I was portraying. When I got honest and I felt comfortable spilling my guts with somebody, I was like, that's who I know myself to be, is that person. I'm in your corner, I've got your back, you know, what you share is always confidential. And as a result, your bank account goes up, your relationships go up, they increase, they improve, you know, and then obviously your business can thrive.

And it starts with that awareness, getting really honest with yourself. It's not easy, but it is transformative. So I appreciate you sharing that too. Also, y'all check out her website. That'll be in the show notes because she has a beautiful website. And check her out on Instagram. If there's a part of this show that really hit home for you, please take a screenshot, whether you're watching this on YouTube or you're listening on your favorite podcast platform, and tag us both at Amberly Lago Motivation And say your name. You say it better than me on Instagram.

Phoebe Morocheck.

Yes, Phoebe Morocheck. I like how you told me in the beginning it's like bro with a moro check. Did I say it okay?

Yep, bro, but with an M check like you write a check.

Okay, got it now. Phoebe, thank you so much for being on the show. We've had this on the books for like 6 months, I think, and I'm so glad that I finally got to connect with you and it's perfect timing. So thank you for sharing your wisdom, your amazing transformative story. Congratulations on your weight loss and your success. And I hope that one day— you were going to be back in Austin, so I'm driving there next week because I really selfishly wanted to see you. But I know our paths will cross in person soon. And I hope to see you on Clubhouse again or hear you on Clubhouse. Are you on Clubhouse? house a lot?

I was, and then I kind of got sidetracked with other business projects, but I might get back on. We'll see. Instagram's really the place that I love to share and to talk to people, so maybe we could do an Instagram Live at some point.

Yeah, we should do that. Okay, we're gonna do it right before this airs. We're gonna go on live.

That's perfect.

Okay, let's do it.

Well, I just want to say real quick, thank you for having me on the show. Since our first conversation, I was like, we are like instant friends. And I appreciate so much of what you do for your community. And I watch, you know, I'm one of these lurkers who pays attention to your stuff. And so I really am so impressed with how you show up for the people that matter to you in your family life and your community. You do such an amazing job. And, you know, it's an honor for me to be here, but just, you know, to call you a friend and a new friend at that, you know, I'm really excited for for what's in store for us. So anytime you are around, when I come to Austin, I will make the drive to Dallas and see you. And, you know, I look forward to what's in store for our friendship.

Me too. Thank you. Well, just so you know, we're getting our guest bedroom in order right now. We just started that yesterday, so it'll be ready for you.

Excellent.

We'll have some fun. Well, thank you so much. It's always a joy when I get to talk to you. And until we go live on Instagram, I'll talk to you next time.

Okay.

Thanks for tuning in, y'all.