Beyond Burnout: Strategies for Preventing Exhaustion and Sustaining Well-Being

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hey, Amberly here. Thank you so much for tuning in to True Grit and Grace. If this is your first time here, I really appreciate you. You tuning in, and all those who are listeners in the past, I really appreciate you that you have subscribed to the show, and I would love a rating and review. That'd be awesome. But thanks to you, you have made True Grit and Grace a top one percent podcast globally. So thank you so much. This week's episode is sponsored by the Unstoppable Life Mastermind. This mastermind is built for female leaders who dream big. And if you want to really expand your influence, your impact so you can make a bigger income, this is a mastermind for you. If you have a story to share and you want to use your story to impact others, to do good in the world through getting on more stages, whether it's writing a book, Or starting your own podcast, I encourage you to check out truegritandgrace.com and see if this is a good fit for you. It's an intimate group. We're actually meeting. I'm so excited to meet in person. So we do 2 big events where I put you on a stage and you actually get to share your story on stage and get video from it and pictures from it. But we also do intimate events, and this next event is taking place in Dallas. At my home, which I really had to sweet-talk my husband into that. But we're meeting at my home, um, just in a few, in a few weeks. And so if you're interested in the Mastermind and you want to join an amazing community of female leaders who are faith-filled and passionate, then check it out at truegritandgrace.com and apply to be a part of this incredible group and really get— make a bigger impact in the world. Today's episode is a little bit different, y'all. It is a little different. So as you know, if you're listening to the show, I do a lot of interviews, which I love because I connect with the most incredible thought leaders, authors, celebrities. Just last week I had Dr. Joe Vitale, who was featured. He was one of the main people on The Secret. If you saw The Secret, his interview changed my life just in how I approach things with an abundance mindset. So I hope you listen to that one if you already have a mindset of abundance. But I wanted to drop in and share this episode because I have something very important to share. And It's something that's really hard for me. It's rest. And I talk about it in the PACER methodology, which if you haven't seen my TED Talk on the PACER methodology, go watch my TED Talk. But the last part is for— of the PACER methodology is for rest. And it happens to be the hardest thing for me to do. And it wasn't until I really had kind of a wake-up call. A couple of weeks ago, and I talked to my amazing producer of the podcast and I was like, I think I got a situation. I need to rest. So a couple of weeks ago in my car, I was driving and I fell asleep at the wheel, at the wheel. And fortunately and unfortunately too, because my daughter who just turned 15 and got her, I think one of the motivations for her getting her driver's permit was me falling asleep at the wheel. She took that test so quick. It usually takes weeks. She took it in like 15 hours. She was done. I fell asleep at the wheel and came to with my daughter, my youngest daughter saying, Mom, you're falling asleep. And it freaked me out. And I thought, oh my goodness, I've pushed and pushed and pushed. And now I'm putting others in danger. Thank God, It was for a moment, and I woke up, and it was a wake-up call for me. And it was like, you know what? I had just been to a doctor, and he was like, your thyroid's not working, your adrenals are fatigued. And that wasn't a wake-up call enough for me. So I had to fall asleep at the wheel. And the most important thing to me is being a mom. And for my daughters to know that they're safe. with me, and they're safe to talk to me, and I'm safe driving them. And that just really broke my heart. And I thought, I've got to make a change. I'm not resting enough. And then a friend of mine, my friend Kara, sent me a picture and she said, congratulations, your book was released 5 years ago on this day. And I thought, wow, 5 years ago my book was released and it's been nonstop ever since. And I'm grateful to have so many incredible opportunities. But you know what? Being an entrepreneur is hard. You stack that on top of, you know, I live with complex regional pain syndrome, which leaves you in constant chronic pain every day. It can be a little draining. And I remember my husband saying, okay, After your book is released, things are going to get a little easier, right? Like things are going to slow down. And I'm like, oh yeah, things are going to slow down. And I'm like, it has not slowed down. In fact, tomorrow I am a judge for North America's top speakers. So I'm judging a contest. I'm a judge for speakers to see who's the next North America's top speaker and they win $10,000. And then I catch a flight immediately. Immediately after that to go to Miami. And I cannot miss that flight because I am the very first speaker for an event called Cash Flow the very next morning. And so I sometimes have to remind myself, well, how do you be resilient? And I leave off the last part of the PACER methodology, which is for rest. And when you rest, your body has a chance to repair and regenerate cells and it improves your immune system. It lowers your stress hormones. And without adequate rest, you know what? We're going to experience physical, mental fatigue, burnout. Roadblocks are going to seem a lot harder. You're going to have decreased productivity and you're going to have increased risk of accidents, injuries. And it also helps so much with our emotional wellbeing. And I have to say lately, I've been struggling. I'm just going to share that with you. I've been struggling lately. It's, it's been hard. I've had a lot of stuff going on between, you know, putting on an in-person event, onboarding somebody new to work for me or work with me, dealing with everyday Pain. It's all hard. And I know all of you are going through— like, you, you may be going through something financially that's hard, physically that's hard, emotionally that's hard. And I'm here to remind you to take a break and give yourself the gift of grace and rest. It will provide you an opportunity to reflect and recharge and refocus Your thoughts and your emotions, which are going to help you manage your stress, manage your anxiety, manage any depression you may have. And so sometimes we have to stop in order to start again and go full force. And that's what I'm planning on doing for you. I'm planning on stopping a little bit so I can refocus, and I can plan on delivering the best content that I can. for you. And when you rest, you give yourself the time and the space to engage in activities that you really love, that bring you joy, and that they help you feel more grounded and balanced. So I'm encouraging you today to take inventory and write down what are the top 5 things that bring you joy and make a point to do at least one of those things Every single day. Like, I know for me, it brings me so much joy to garden and to be in nature and to work out and to be with family. And so every day in between Zoom calls, I'm out there getting my hands dirty, digging in the ground because it makes me feel grounded. I got a manicure the other day and they were like, why don't you wear gloves? And I'm like, I don't know, maybe I'm weird, but I like feeling my hands in the dirt. So what brings you joy? Maybe that's getting up and dancing like nobody's watching. Maybe that is going out to a movie or, or, or you know what, watching one show on Netflix, whatever brings you joy, whatever can you can do to bring you joy. And you know what? It's essential for maintaining your healthy relationships because you know what, when you are well rested, You're gonna be more patient. You're gonna be attentive. You're gonna be present with others. It's gonna improve the quality of interactions that you have with not just your family, but with your customers, with everybody that you could be a potential customer. So I encourage you to take some rest, whatever that looks like. I'm old school. Look, I have a paper calendar and I actually write down and I have highlighters for everything I do, whether it's my interviews are yellow, my life coaching for my mastermind attendees are blue, my fitness coaching is in green, like orange is another color. Like I've got it all written out, but I schedule times to rest and I encourage you to do the same. Before you fall asleep at the wheel, before you hit burnout, we need to work on our resilience and strengthen it before we need it. And so, you know, I don't know how long I'm taking a break from this podcast, but I know that it's much needed and I need to practice what I preach and I need to set an example for you that it's okay to rest. And you can listen to other podcasts that I've done. Um, I've got about 3 months worth of podcasts to release to you already and some scheduled to, to share with you that I can't wait to share. But I just really wanted to hop on and encourage you to rest. And then I want to leave you with a little treat. Um, I just recently had the amazing opportunity to speak at John Gordon's event called the Positive Summit, which is a dream come true because I have watched this summit every year and to be asked to be a part of this summit was a dream come true. So it took me about 5 hours to record a 10-minute video. I'm not even kidding you. Took me about 5 hours to record it between the gardeners coming and you could hear the blower and then there was a lawnmower and then my husband was walking outside in front of me naked. I'm like, all the distractions were real and I would stop and start and stop and start and I Finally recorded this 10-minute video to send in because that's how long he wanted. It was 10 minutes. Sent it in, and the summit came up, and I got a message from Catherine Gordon who was like, "Did you see?" And I was like, "What are you talking about?" She's like, "You're voted top three speakers of the event." So y'all, the speakers. Were incredible. I mean, I'm talking, it was like John Gordon, Ed Mylett, Jamie Kern Lima, Candy Valentino. Like the speakers were unreal. So for me to get voted top 3 out of 34 speakers, I was like, hallelujah. I'm so grateful for that opportunity. And honestly, I did it hoping to impact one person and I got hundreds of people that signed up through my text community that wanted my free downloadable journal. So if you want the playbook for free, it's downloadable. All you have to do is text me at 818-214-7378. Don't worry, that number will be in the show notes. If you don't, if you're out for a run or you're driving, don't Don't fall asleep at the wheel like I did. It'll be in the show notes. Check it out. Text me the word grit, just G-R-I-T. That's it. Just text me that. You'll get your free downloadable playbook. And if you want to text me any show ideas or anything you want to connect with, that is me texting you back. It's me. So I'm reading every single one of those messages. If you just want to say hi, if you just want to say, hey, I listened to the show, I would I would love to hear from you. So 818-214-7378, text me. I really hope you enjoy this next little bit from the Positive Summit that I shared, and it's how to tap into your superpower of resilience and thrive. And most importantly, I encourage you to schedule out times in your day, in your life, to rest and recover. So you can come back fully recharged and pour into your community. Thank you for being here. Love you so much. And, um, if there's a part of this show that, that really resonates with you, please share it on social media. Tag me at Amberly Lago Motivation, and I'll make sure when I see that to share it on my Instagram or my Facebook as well. Okay. Thank you. Hi, I'm Amberly Lago, and I have watched John Gordon's Positive Summit over the years. So to get to be a part of this amazing event is a dream come true and a real honor. I'm grateful to get to be here with you today and share, and so thankful that John has put this amazing event together. I don't know about you, but man, I've had a lot of challenges lately. I mean, my life feels more like kind of like a sad little country song. My dog— in the past 2 weeks, my dog was knocked unconscious. My husband was in the hospital having 2 different surgeries. I was in urgent care with bronchitis. And my dad passed away from a heart attack. And I know that things don't always go as planned. And I know when you're in the middle of a big challenge, it's hard to think that there can be anything good that can come from it. And I also have learned that we don't always get our dreams or goals. But we do get our destiny. 12 years ago, I was going through the hardest time of my life, and I have been able to turn tragedy to triumph and shame to grace and pain to purpose. And I want to share everything I've learned along this journey so that you can thrive no matter what life throws your way. I was coming home from work on my motorcycle when I was hit by an SUV. I was thrown 30 feet and sliding across the asphalt. When I finally came to a stop, I remember looking down at my leg and just seeing it crumbled into pieces. Little did I know at the time that— thankfully, I didn't know that my femoral artery was severed because you can bleed out pretty quick. I had a guardian angel come over and make a tourniquet on my leg right away, and I was rushed to the hospital. And I was put in induced coma. When I came out of a coma, the first thing I learned was I had a 1% chance of saving my leg from amputation. And I don't know who bets on 1% chances. But I did. I was like, so you're saying there's a chance? Well, that took 34 surgeries, an act of God, a lot of prayer, a lot of grit, and months in the hospital and thousands of hours of excruciating physical therapy. But they saved my leg. And I really thought the worst was over. And I remember being home and on my— I was Upright on crutches, getting ready to go see one of my doctors and being so excited. And I walked into his office and he looked at me and he said, "Are you the kind of girl that likes to push through pain?" And I said, "Well, yes, sir, I am." And I kind of thought, "He can tell I've got a PhD and suck it up." He said, "Well, you you've got to stop right now. You've got something very serious." He goes, "You've got complex regional pain syndrome as a result of your accident. You need to go home and get back in your wheelchair." And I said, okay, well, for how long? And he said, forever. You are going to be permanently disabled. You're never going to walk again and you won't work again. Well, I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. I felt like I'd been given a life sentence, but I didn't go home and get back in my wheelchair. Instead, I went straight to physical therapy and I told the physical therapist, I said, Terry, I've, I just learned something and I'm going to have to work harder than I've ever worked before if I want to have the life That I've always imagined. And y'all, I didn't know how hard that was going to be. I was trying everything for pain. I was on 73 homeopathic pills, 11 prescription medications. I was fighting so hard to get back to work. I was doing ketamine infusions, spinal blocks, you name it, I was trying it. I was a good target for any snake oil salesman around just to get me out of pain. And Nothing was working except for one thing, and it's maybe not what you think. It's resilience, and everybody has that resilience within them. And it's your ability to get through roadblocks and challenges and thrive. It's your ability to get back up again and again and again. And I want to share with you what I use still to this day every. Single day because I'm still in a lot of pain, but I'm able to get through the pain. And I think so many of us have pain, whether it is physically or emotionally, whatever kind of pain that is. And I don't think that we talk about it much. Whether you're an entrepreneur, whether, you know, you're a stay-at-home mom chasing your kids around the house, whatever it may be, whether you're going through a divorce, whether you're struggling financially, whether you're struggling with what's going on in the world, I feel like we stuff it down. We numb it out by eating too much or shopping too much or drinking too much. At least that's what I did, and it led me down a road of despair until one day I decided there has to be more to life. I don't want to be the victim of my circumstances. I want to be the product of my resiliency, and I came up with one word, and I want to share it with you because I needed something quick. And this word still to this day helps me get through sadness. It has helped me in the last couple of weeks with the worrying about my husband. It's helped me the last couple of weeks with the grief of losing my father. It helps me every day to move through pain, and it has been able— it's been able, um, enabled me to turn shame to grace. It's PACER, and it stands for perspective, Acceptance, community, endurance, and rest. And I'm going to go over this 5-part process with you quickly. So anytime you have any pain or shame or fear, anxiety, you can just remember this word and tap into your resilience. So the first part of it is perspective, and you have the ability to change your life just with a simple shift in perspective. And the easiest way to do this Is through gratitude, and I know sometimes it can be hard to feel grateful when you are in the middle of a struggle. But there's always something to be grateful for, and I remember being in the hospital bed and looking down at my leg that was held together with these rods, and and and thinking, seeing this infomercial on TV, and there was this beautiful girl running on the beach with her her family chasing her, and I remember thinking. What if I could never run again? What if my husband doesn't love me? What if I can't chase after my kids? What if I die? It went on and on and on, and I was just sinking into despair. And I thought, wait a minute, I've got a choice here. You have a choice. You can go down the road of despair, or you can choose to shift your perspective with gratitude. And gratitude is alchemy. It changes what you don't have into what you do have. And what you can't do into what you can do. And it really led denial for me into acceptance, which is the next part of PACER. Acceptance was— it's sometimes easier said than done. It was hard for me. I did not want to accept that I was going to live with this nerve disease. I did not want people to see that I was in pain, and I did not want people to see my scars. In fact, I was so— had so much shame about the way that I looked. I hated my leg, and I had this big idea Of I knew what I was going to do. I was just going to go back into that doctor and tell him that we needed to amputate. So I walked into Dr. Wiss, and I said, "You know, this leg is just giving me too much pain. It's deformed, it's scarred, it doesn't work properly, and we just need to amputate it. I appreciate all you've done for me, but we just need to go ahead and cut it off." And he looked at me, and he said, "Well, we can't do that. You've got something very serious." He goes, "If we do this, it may spread." And then he did something that changed my life. He took my leg and he put it in his lap, and he put it on his nice white coat, and he looked at it like it was a masterpiece. And something inside me shifted, and I thought, "Wow! If he can look at my leg that way, maybe I can learn to look at it that way too. Maybe I can learn to love." My leg too, and little by little I was able to shift the way that I looked at my leg, and little by little I was able to accept all my scars. And you know what? When we're in acceptance, it doesn't mean that we have admitted defeat. It doesn't mean that you have accepted things that you don't want. It means that you get to take action steps to make your life better. We heal. What we reveal. And we are only as sick as our secrets. Acceptance is freedom, and acceptance is the beginning of any transformational journey. So I really encourage you to think about what is one thing that you can accept today, because everything we do is either helping us or hurting us. One question you can ask yourself is, how's that working for you? Is it helping me or is it hurting me. One prayer that you can do— I even have this on my desk— that will help you stay in acceptance is the Serenity Prayer. This is my favorite prayer. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. When I was in acceptance and I was able to Accept all my imperfections. It led me to a community of people where I made meaningful connections, and that is the next part of PACER, and it may be the most powerful part there is. Community is powerful. Yes, you're strong. You're alone. We're strong, but together we are unstoppable. And I had somebody say, "Well, you're lucky that you had community," and I said, "You know what?" Your hard work puts you where your blessings can find you. If you want a community, build your community. How can you go and be of service? How can you go and add value? How can you shine a light on others? How can you connect with people each and every day? We are wired for connection. We're not meant to get through hard things alone. And I can tell you, I have a community of prayer warriors. I have a community of gratitude. My, I call, we call each other the God Squad, and we text each other 10 things every single day that we're grateful for. So if you don't have a community, reach out, build your own community. Go see how you can get around the puppy uppers and stay away from the doggy downers. You know what I'm talking about. You know when somebody calls you and they're a puppy upper and you're excited to hear from them, or when they're a doggy downer and you see their name pop up on your phone and you're like, Oh, what do they want now? So it's really important to not just look at the people that you're surrounding yourself with in your inner circle, but who are you following online? Really learn to, if you see someone that is not inspiring you, maybe it's time to bless them and block them because it takes endurance to get through challenges. It takes endurance to get, you know, to be a mom. It takes endurance to be an entrepreneur. And that's The next part of PACER is endurance. And if you look endurance up in the dictionary, it means to endure hard things for a long period of time. And what I've learned is that, yes, being an entrepreneur takes endurance, it takes grit. But I had a lot of misconceptions about it. When we face adversity, 2 things happen. Science says we go into fight or flight. What if we could go into flow? Meaning, what if we could raise our frequency? What if we could do more things with love? What if we could be more optimistic? What if we could approach things with wonder? And I've learned that, you know, I used to— I mistook health scares for heroic acts. I, you know, I mistook sacrifice for success. I mistook Fear for function, all with grit. And what I realized is to have endurance and grit, you must have connection. Grit without connection is resistance. It feels like clawing your way. It feels like moving through quicksand. It leads to burnout. It leads to hitting walls or rock bottoms. But when you have grit with connection, that's where you find— Resilience. The last part of PACER, and this one is probably the one of the hardest things for me, and I'm still learning, is rest. And my husband still says, you don't rest. I'm learning that sometimes when we're faced with challenges, we need to give a little grit, and sometimes we need a little extra dose of giving ourselves some grace. Rest is refueling. It's recovering. And I've made rest a part of my business strategy now. And if you really want to be resilient, sometimes you need to strategically stop and plan times to rest and refuel throughout the day. So if there's one thing I can leave with you today, let it be this, that you do not have to do anything alone. Please reach out for help today. Reach out to me. You have everything inside you to get through challenges. You have resilience deep within you and by the support around you. Change is possible and hope is available. And with grit and grace, you can have the resilience to get through anything. Okay, thank you. Remember, Pacer to get through challenges.