Embracing Creativity and Limitless Potential with Rich Bracken

Hey there! I'm so excited to announce the Unstoppable Success Summit is back, y'all. We are going to be in Dallas April 19th and 20th, and I want to see you there. Don't miss out on this opportunity to gain valuable insights and make valuable connections and leave with actionable takeaways so you can implement all of these things into your career and level up your life and your business. I've got Ben Newman. Rachel Luna, John Gordon, Rudy Ricksteins. I've got a panel of speakers that specialize on publishing, PR, branding, podcasting, and TED Talks. And so if you are ready to level up, if you're like, I've got a message to share and I really want to increase my influence, it's time to kick the limiting beliefs to the curb. It's time to move forward past your fear. It's time for you to invest In you to bet on yourself. So I want to see you in Dallas. It's my hometown and I'm going to make it, y'all. I'm planning some big stuff. Okay. It's going to be fun. My event planner keeps saying, Amberly, you need to reel it in. I'm like, no. And in Texas we say go big or go home. So go to go.amberlylago.com. That link will also be in the show notes to grab your early bird ticket. The early bird tickets will only last for a certain time and there are only 100 seats available. So these tickets will go fast. You're the first to know about it. I want to see you in Dallas. So hopefully I will see you there to hug your neck and let's be unstoppable together. Okay, now on to the show. Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience, And empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hey, hey, it's Amberly Lago. Thank you so much for tuning in to True Grit and Grace because I have a real, real, real treat for y'all today. One of my really good friends is on the show. And you know what? With the daily push to increase success, enhance our life balance, and maintain our mental health, it becomes tricky to keep your feet underneath you. That's where emotional intelligence serves you as your greatest skill. And y'all, I have the expert, the king of emotional intelligence, my good friend Rich Bracken, with us today. He is An acclaimed thought leader. He's a television and media contributor. I'm sure you've probably caught him on the news. He's always, always speaking all over the world, sought-after speaker. He does webinars, um, and he is going to tell us today how we can level up our life, create better relationships. And thank you, Rich, for being here with us.

Amberly, it's such a pleasure to see you. I mean, we're going to have a blast on this episode. I don't care. This is going to be a party with empowerment. So we're going to have a good time. I'm so excited to talk with you.

Oh, my goodness. Well, we've been really trying to get this going for probably a year.

100%. And I think the one thing that I'm thankful for— well, a couple of things I'm thankful for. Number one, that you are so patient and so gracious and so amazing yourself. And number two, that you're from Texas because you know how to wrangle people. And so I've needed that wrangling to get this done. So you finally have roped me and I am here, but I wasn't running too fast because I really wanted to do this. So I'm excited to have a chat.

Yes, I am so excited. And you know what? You have been such an incredible friend. I have to say, y'all, like, there have been times when I'm like, I don't know how to work this, or I'm struggling with this. And Rich, you have set up Zoom sessions to help teach me about technology, especially when there was not as much travel in the speaking industry during the middle of COVID And we were doing a lot of virtual presentations. And your virtual presentations are absolutely amazing. And I think that you're such an incredible speaker because of your background being a former DJ traveling all over the world. But I also didn't know that you were A former football player.

Yes. I have a lot of hats. My life resume is pretty bonkers. That's probably a— I mean, we can make a saga series on your podcast about this, which we won't do, but there are a lot of random things about me that are just fun to drop in. But yes, I used to be a college football player. I was a heavier child. I was shy about that status at first, but then a friend of mine brought me into junior football. And so I found an identity through that. And so I was a lineman. I was a protector. I cared for my friends. I made sure that nobody got to the quarterback. And at the same time, I was playing linebacker. And so in college, I was a 250-pound linebacker.

How much do you weigh now?

I'm about 170 pounds now.

That's crazy. It's like you lost a whole person.

I did. I lost at— and I used to say I lost a Backstreet Boy, but now they're a little bit older like I am, and they're not as tiny as they used to be. But I lost 100 pounds, and I've basically kept off 80 to 100 pounds for now, 25 years. And so this is the 25th anniversary of the weight loss journey that I started on. Now, I will always say that I'm a fan of cheese and carbs, so it's never going to be as low as I would like it to be. That is part of my journey as well. And that teaches me resilience, teaches me dedication, but also teaches me emotional intelligence and balance. Because as diligent as I would like to say that I am, I also fall off the wagon. I'm Southern too. And so when I go home for the holidays, all bets are off as far as dedication on healthy food. So it is really— it's been a phenomenal journey. But yeah, that football playing background is definitely part of it.

Wow. For as long as I've known you, I did not know that you had that weight loss journey. That's like a whole topic in itself. But I have to say, I want to let the audience know how amazing you are as a friend. There have been times when you and I have, as speakers, have been able to have talks and lift each other up because it's not always easy, you know, when like maybe we don't get booked for that job or, you know, we're thinking we're on hold for one job and we don't get it, or just the struggles of being a professional speaker. And I have to say, thank you. It's been, there have been times when you have talked to me and I've talked to you and we've been able to kind of lift each other up. And support each other. And you're just such a good person that I want my audience to know, like, you were teaching me how to do things virtually. You don't see it as like a competition, but how can we help each other out? That's really rare to have somebody that really does that. So I really, I just appreciate you so much.

Well, I appreciate you too. And I, and, and thank you for saying that. I think A couple of different things. One, you've helped me just as much as I've helped you. It's been a reciprocal relationship and friendship here. And I think too, what you said resonates with professional speakers, but really anybody in business, especially entrepreneurs, that it's a hard journey. You know, a lot of people, I think the people that I love, but I also, that kind of get to me a little bit, are the people that go out there and say, this is perfect. I don't have any faults. There are no valleys here. Everything is amazing. We're clipping along. Yes, you want to share positivity. But even your podcast name, True Grit and Grace, like, there, it's gonna get tough. There are going to be lonely times. You are gonna think that you totally got this job or this client or this speaking gig locked in, and all of a sudden it falls out from underneath you. And then what? And so I think one, having friendships like we have, and when you circle yourself with the right people, those downtimes aren't as deep as they could be. Because you have those people that you can go to and say, hey, look, I thought I had this huge thing lined up and it fell through. You and I have talked about those kinds of situations before.

For sure.

So, circling yourself with the right people is critical. And also, the humility and vulnerability of being human is a lost art, and we need to bring that back. And I see people doing it more and more, and I want to encourage anybody who's listening to this, be real, be vulnerable, and have the grace To say, one, I need help, but also the idea of helping other people doesn't hurt anybody. What is the cliché? Like, there's plenty to go around. There's plenty of pie or pizza or whatever you want to say. There is. There's plenty of it out there. So, if you're going to go out and try to be cutthroat, good luck with the long-term success because those of us that are actually supporting each other and being there for each other are going to make it through no matter what.

Yes, you're so right. And you know what that made me think about is I think being a professional dancer really helped me because I was rejected, cut, on a veil, then didn't get the job. I, over and over and over, you get a ton of nos. And I always viewed that as, well, that's me one step closer to a yes. And I remember I used to— the dance industry was very cutthroat.

Mm-hmm.

And that just wasn't how I was. And I would piss people off because I would walk into an audition and I looked at all the other dancers as, hey, that's my friend, that's my friend, good luck to you. Let you know, let's get this one, you know. And I was always happy and, and saying hi and wishing people good luck to— and break a leg and There were some women that would look at me like, what is wrong with her?

Why is she trying to pull something on me here?

Exactly. But you know what? Because I think, because I know for sure, one job I got, a huge commercial that was for this Japanese company, and there were billboards about it and everything. I think the reason I got the job is because I walked in, I was happy. I spoke a little bit of Japanese and I made them laugh. And it was like, so much about it is just that energy, your energy. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I lucked out on that. But I think that that really makes a difference. How did you get to become this expert on emotional intelligence? And first of all, yes, it helps with our relationships. It helps.

Sure.

And what I'm blown away by is that what the numbers say I think 85% of people think they have strong emotional intelligence, but only 15% actually do. So first of all, tell us a little bit about what exactly is emotional intelligence and why is it so important and how did you get to become this expert in it? Because you are all over the media talking about it.

Yeah. So number one, I think there are several different schools of thought of emotional intelligence. I am a simpleton by nature and I typically can't count higher than 10 without taking my So I keep it really minimal, especially when I'm conveying it to audiences and on the news and whatnot. But really, emotional intelligence to me is the ability to understand and navigate your emotions while understanding and observing and navigating the emotions of others. And that is personally and professionally, because we— and I always say in my presentations and on the— when I'm sharing it in the media, you have to interact with other people unless you have found that island paradise and just disconnect, which sounds amazing on certain days. You're going to have to interact with other people. And so one, how I got into it was actually because I wasn't exhibiting my own and I was working in, in the legal world. I wasn't an attorney, but I was working on the business professional side and I was so stressed and anxious and I was burning the candle at both ends because I thought I had to. And that landed me in the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack. Luckily, I was only having a massive panic attack, which I never thought I'd ever say that out loud. But the doctor, and this is all serendipitous and I'll share why the doctor shared with me, we talked through my lifestyle and things that I could change. And he mentioned this book that he was reading called Emotional Intelligence 2.0, which, you know, Dr. Travis Bradberry is my favorite thought leader on this. And so I dove into the book. Now, why it's serendipitous is because doctors have the lowest emotional intelligence of any profession. And second is attorneys. So here I am working in the legal world, talking with a doctor who's exhibiting and studying emotional intelligence. This was meant to be. I was meant to be, again, something I never thought I'd say out loud. I was meant to be in that ER on that bed hooked up to that EKG machine.

Wow. Wait, what was the name of that book again? Who was that?

Emotional Intelligence 2.0. And again, Dr. Travis Bradberry is a must-follow. Again, this is me exhibiting my affinity for other thought leaders and speakers and people. He's fantastic. I think the world of him. And hopefully one day I get to meet him because he transformed my life in so many ways. So Travis, if you're listening, let's talk.

I'm sure he's listening to this show.

I guarantee you he is. He's probably, you know, he's exhibiting and leveraging his own emotional intelligence by relaxing and listening to the True Grit and Grace podcast. So through the education that I was putting myself through and through the application of it, I learned the benefits of emotional intelligence. Now, a couple of quick things. One, the main thing that I think is phenomenal about Emotional intelligence is that it's universally applicable. Everybody could learn to use and leverage and improve their emotional intelligence. And every company, if you're not investing in emotional intelligence training in some shape or form, you're leaving millions on the table, period. I, I will say that with 100% confidence. You are leaving a ton of money on the table because emotional intelligence improves everything within your organization, but also improves the individuals as people. I will have an argument all day long that it is one of the highest, if not the highest ROI investments a company can make. Or an individual can make in themselves. The other thing that is fantastic about emotional intelligence outside of its universal applicability is that you can increase your emotional intelligence. So your IQ hits a certain ceiling as you're getting older. Now, for, for people like myself, that sucks because we, we hit a low ceiling, but we can leverage our emotional intelligence. Actually having a higher emotional intelligence makes you more valuable, and it has about 65% to do with your performance as a professional. Emotional intelligence does. So you can be really smart. But if you can't communicate, if you can't manage your emotions, if you can't relate to other people or you can't listen, you're not going to hit the potential that you need to hit.

I totally agree. I totally agree. My husband and I talk a lot about this. You can be as book smart, but no common sense. He would see that a lot in his line of work when he was a police lieutenant commander, that these guys would come in with PhDs, their EQ and common sense. And it was like, I can't hand you a gun. You know what I mean?

I was thinking, I was thinking about my attorneys that I couldn't hand a marketing document to, much less hand somebody a gun that has low emotional intelligence.

Yeah, it's—

that makes total sense.

Yeah. How does someone increase their EQ?

So there are, there are a myriad of ways to increase your EQ. And I always say, one, most of the ways that you can increase your emotional intelligence are fun and quick. And I even have a document that I share with all my audiences when I speak, and I'm happy to share with your audience as well.

Yeah, if you can, we'll put that link in the show notes. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. It's 50 ways that you can increase your emotional intelligence in under 5 minutes. And all or most, if not all of them, are things that you're already doing. You just have to be more intentional and conscious about it, like getting more sleep. You know, you, I use music and you mentioned the DJ thing earlier. I use music not only as a way to increase my emotional intelligence and, and help others increase theirs, but it is something that I've actually based a couple of my keynotes around is that the elements of music helping you navigate how you handle your day, how you handle different situations, how you handle your motivation by taking more intentional time. Because as we think about our workdays or our lives, Most times we just kind of hang on for dear life. I always give the comparison when I used to watch movies with my grandfather. He loved old Western movies. In almost every single movie, there was that scene of the guy that was hanging onto the rope being dragged through the dirt by a horse. Like, just, you're hanging on for dear life. Your day is running away from you. That's how some days feel like. And then you get to the end of the day and you're like, what in the hell just happened? And by taking more intentional time blocking, you know, one of the things I talk about with organizations is Stop having 30-minute meetings and stop having 60-minute meetings. Have 25-minute meetings or 20-minute meetings or 45-minute meetings. Because when you don't block that time in between meetings, you're missing the ability to get some water, take a deep breath, look at your notes from the meeting, figure out next action plans. And I always call it the adult passing period. Like, think about school when we were in high school. If you went from math to history, you had 5 to 7 minutes to go change books, go to your locker, say hi to your friends, grab some water, hit the restroom, and go on to the next thing. As adults, we don't do that. We wear this badge of honor. Oh, look at my calendar. It's totally full. I have no time in between there, and it becomes problematic. So, everything from time blocking to music to sleep to just being intentional. I use meditation all the time. So, I'll share that document with your audience, but there are a ton of ways that you can increase your emotional intelligence.

That's amazing. I love that you use music, and I love that Also, you work out and you post a lot on your social media about you working out and stuff like that. And I feel a difference when there are days where I will have a pretty full schedule, but like my coaching clients for my mastermind, they're 45-minute coaching calls, not an hour, but 45 minutes.

Love that.

And I now take a little break in between each Zoom because I noticed it was like sucking the life out of me when I was just online all day long. And so I take breaks and I will take a break. Like, I have a break right after this and I'm going to the gym. I listen to music and I feel like, oh, I'm home. You know, like, moving your body moves your mood. I'm trying to get better about that whole meditation. I do. I'm not great at that. So I've downloaded the Calm app.

Oh, the Calm app is a lifesaver. That's one of my favorites.

I love that. Yeah.

Yeah.

And there, there've been times I've been anxious and that has saved me.

Mm-hmm. One of, and I, I will, I love one, I love that you've been intentional about doing that because most people will say, well, I need to get better, but they don't do anything about it. So the fact that you've acknowledged that this is improvement or an opportunity to improve and that you've done something about it and taken a step in that direction. All kudos to you on that. The other thing, because I will say that I have problems with meditation, is probably one of the number one things I hear from people when I start recommending different ways that I leverage my emotional intelligence or increase my emotional intelligence. And I will say this, another one of my favorite apps or ways that I stay engaged is Peloton. I post all the time about my Peloton workouts, my rides, and everything else. There was a meditation, so they have a meditation like classes for meditation and different moods and things like that. One of the game changers for me was, and I'm struggling to remember on the spot who it was that did this, and they'll, I'll probably remember it and they'll, and I'll message 'em and they'll be mad at me. But there is a quick meditation that you can do at any given time during the day. We'll say maybe a minute and a half total. And it really, what it is, is taking the time just to sit still and say, How am I? But you say it 3 times in 3 different ways. How am I mentally? How am I physically? And how am I emotionally? And just that quick check-in with yourself. Do it in the morning, do it in the middle of the morning, do it at lunchtime, do it at the end of the day, do it whenever. Because when you do that, when we stop and realize how we're actually feeling in those 3 ways, we can realize that we are maybe feeling a little bit vulnerable emotionally, or maybe we're not feeling our best physically because we haven't worked out or haven't gone to the gym or haven't gone for a walk or aren't eating as healthy as we should. That check-in gives you a foundation of opportunity to find ways to change and improve throughout the day. So, for those that struggle with meditation, start with that. How am I physically? How am I mentally? How am I emotionally? And be honest and vulnerable with yourself, and you will find some way to improve. I do it every single day.

Oh, that's so important. That's something I did not used to do at all. I was like the queen of suck it up and you just keep pushing. It doesn't matter that your toes are bleeding in your pointe shoes or—

Right.

And I've learned to really check in, but that inspired me to get better and being more intentional about it. And you inspired me to get Peloton subscription going again because I got a Peloton when all the gyms were closed in, in LA. I mean, there was nothing open. They even closed our trails so you couldn't go hiking. It was crazy. They shut everything down. And so we finally got our Peloton and my husband and I were both on that bike every day. Well, then as soon as the gyms opened up, it's kind of gathering dust and I need to get back on it.

Sure.

I, so you have inspired me to do that. So thank you for that.

Of course.

Because yeah, that's amazing. And the music, I wanted to go back to something you said about you kind of incorporated how music can increase your EQ. I'm just curious about that keynote presentation.

Sure.

Um, because Jesse Itzler is a friend of mine and I went to go see him and this could be a cool idea for you. Uh, He has a DJ. Did you know that?

I do not.

His keynotes, oh my gosh, he's out of this world. He has a DJ that goes with him to do a keynote, and that DJ knows exactly what to play and what sound effect and what music during his keynote. So when you're giving your keynote about music, are you actually playing music?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, so one, Jesse, you know, I would love to hear more about that. So again, I love that idea because too, DJs have a big impact on anything. You know, if you think about going to a club or an event or whatever, and if a DJ knows to play the right song at the right time, that makes or breaks the day or the evening or whatever the event is. And I DJ'd for 25 years. I retired at 40. That's a whole nother story, but I'm actually getting back into it because of the incorporation of music in my keynotes. So when I do my keynote Tune In, which I'm actually morphing into one called Soundtrack, That I'm very excited about. I actually play music samples. I bring in different, you know, emotions through music, but really I help the audience understand how something simple like a song or the right song at the right time, whether it's you're trying to lick your wounds and bounce back and be resilient, or you're trying to be confident and you need the right pump-up song, or you feel yourself starting to get into a bad mood, what song can I play to put myself in an immediate good mood? And the one fun thing that I've been doing with audiences lately is that, so I've got a couple of clients that I've presented to recently that I'll send them a link ahead of time and I'll have their company submit me a list of their confident walk-up songs and we build playlists based off of that. And I'll incorporate some of the songs that they've submitted to me, but then I create this playlist for them after the event to have something to kind of carry the event forward.

That's great.

But really during the presentation, it is I have a sampling machine. I'm incorporating my new DJ equipment. So it's going to be a full production. Um, and it's a blast.

That is so cool. I always love when we get to do a check-in. Yep. Um, because I always want to know the latest stuff that, because you work on some cool stuff and you always have the latest and greatest with like technology. Um, and you know, I just did this event here in Dallas. I was their keynote speaker. It was a tech company. And, um, I always like to get there early and kind of get a feel for the energy of the audience. And everybody was so serious and the energy was so low. It was like, oh my gosh, I need to shake these people up. And so I went to the AV and I was like, hey, can you give me some walk-on music? Can you give me some Uptown Funk? And so I came on and they probably thought, what? Who's this girl? What the hell is going on? But, uh, I came out on stage with Uptown Funk and was dancing around and got the energy up. But it does, it just changes. And I noticed Trent Shelton is a good friend of mine. I love him. He is such a good person. And we've shared the stage at a lot of events. And he started incorporating music in his keynote. And I'm like, gosh, I would love to do that. But Yep. Rich knows how technology— I'm still learning. I'm very much still learning.

Hey, if Amberly does a keynote and has DJ Rich in the— I mean, I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

Oh my gosh. Okay, we have got to talk about my next event.

Y'all heard it here first. The evolution of Amberly's musical keynote. Happened right here on the True Grit and Grace podcast.

Oh my goodness, Rich, I'm not even kidding. This— my next event called Unstoppable Success Summit, well, 2024, it's at the Renaissance in Dallas, April 20th. I know, 4/20. I was kind of like, what?

That day symbolizes something. We can play some Cypress Hill and some 311 and some Sublime or whatever we can. Hey, I think— see, and that's what DJs do. We hear a mood, we immediately know what to play. Mariah Carey, Yahoo, I'm in. Like, whatever we need to do to bring in that vibe.

Oh, hey, Richie, I'm gonna have to— I need you at this event. You wouldn't believe the things that I'm planning. I can't— I don't want to say it all because it— but I'm leveling up this event. It's gonna be epic. There's gonna be gospel, there's gonna be dancing there. Seriously, I'm—

Only you, my dear, can pull off a gospel music infused presentation or event on 4/20. That's— I mean, that's just the power that you have. That's why I love you so much, because you're like, you know what, it's on 4/20, but I got gospel because, you know, it's all about the mood. It's all about the energy. We do what we can.

That's right. I was like, well, that's right. That's what— that was the day.

I'm here for it. I'm here for it.

So, yes, I am so excited. Super, super excited. Okay, but let's get back to your amazingness with what you do. And y'all, this is why I love talking to Rich, because I always learn something. We always brainstorm and, oh yeah. And we were going to do this interview in person. And I know the in-person thing will happen for sure by April 20th, but yes, it will. You talk a lot about self-care and the importance of self-care. You talk a lot about setting boundaries, healthy boundaries.

Yes.

And y'all have to check out his YouTube because he's on the news. All the time as the expert on, um, not just the EQ, but boundaries and self-care and balance and how to level up. He's the expert that they call in to come share on these topics. And so that's one thing that is sometimes has been hard for me is self-care and setting boundaries. I'm getting a little better about that. But when we think of self-care, a lot of times people think of, oh, going to the spa or, um, getting a pedicure. Tell us some ways that people, especially entrepreneurs, can incorporate self-care so they don't burn out, so they can continue to be resilient.

Yeah. And I'll combine 2 things in one here. So exercising and staying strong on your boundaries is self-care. So if we think about, especially just because as people, we are people pleasers, we don't want to say no, we don't want to be that person. We're afraid to put up boundaries because we don't want to offend anybody because we want to be available all the We feel like we have to be, especially as entrepreneurs or public figures. And at a certain point, you can't give anymore. It's just not possible. Your time, your energy, your emotions.

That's why I got sick, Rich. And I told you before we started recording, this is week 3 of me being sick and having— I kind of thought, am I ever going to feel better? Oh my gosh.

Well, and 2, one, I appreciate the idea that you are always out there. always putting yourself out there, you're always engaging, you're always connecting, you're pouring, you're pouring, you're pouring. But at some point, you also have to fill because the old cliché, you can't pour from an empty cup. And so, I will say that as much as I'm of the same mindset, I used to get to a point too where I would burn out. I would just become exhausted. I would not be at my best mentally. I couldn't create ideas as great as I could, and I'm still working on it. I'm not going to say that I'm there perfectly because none of us are perfect. Let's be honest. But I also think I learned quickly to listen to myself. And self-care also is in that form, just saying like, what do I need? Going back to the thing I mentioned earlier about checking in with yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically. If you get to a point where you say, yeah, I know I need to do this thing, or I got to do this content, or I got to do this, but I'm exhausted, you're not paying attention to yourself. And yeah, somebody will say, you mentioned like suck it up earlier. People will say, well, if I just power through. Well, yeah, at the same time, like you need to also understand that that's a warning sign. Something's about to go wrong or something's about to go down a path. So would you rather pause and say, look, I need to like kind of circle in for one night. I need to go to bed early. I need to exercise a little bit more. I need to go take a sauna, whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. Because if you don't take that few minutes to implement self-care, you may— and I'm not trying to pick on you here, but you may wind up in a situation where you're spending days or weeks trying to recuperate.

Oh, yeah.

And maybe you're never catching up. Maybe you're running up that quicksand hill of health and focus and self-care all day long. Now's the time to say, look, I need to pay better attention to myself. And there will always be opportunities. There will always be clients. There will always be content to create. There will always be posts. But there won't always be you if you don't take care of yourself in the right way. And I don't mean this in like a morbid sense, but you can't be your best self if you're not taking care of yourself.

You're right. It's like our health is the most important thing. And I had a friend of mine tell me once, because I love the grit, I love to go, I love the hustle, and I've had to learn more about the grace and giving myself grace. I had a good friend of mine say, and this really hit me, she said, you know, your impact is only as strong as you are healthy, because she could see I was burning the wick from both ends. I kept having, you know, being getting in the ER. And so I've had to do things like my, my phone just alerted me, my Oura Ring will alert me to, it's time to get up and move your legs.

Right.

It monitors my sleep. But I think so much of what you've shared is such a big reminder for me to check in more. And, oh yeah. Yeah. But it is hard when I'm an overcoming people pleaser and I just want, I, and I want to help and I want to do and I want to go. Um, so I think this is a reminder for everybody listening to check in with yourself. Yeah.

And I don't, I don't have one of those rings, so I don't know if they, if they have the ability to check out on your anxiety, but those are the things that we, that we tend to ignore. the most, our anxiety, our stress, and those types of situations that we ignore because we're like, oh, well, if I just do the thing, I'll be fine. Or if I just go figure this out, it'll be fine. No, when you have stress and anxiety, if you don't deal with it right there, it's like that app that you don't close out on your phone. It's going to pull on your battery all day long.

That stress and anxiety. It does. It alerts you. And in fact, This is how big of how stress and anxiety affects us. It affects our sleep. Sometimes I won't know that I've got some stress or anxiety, or I have a lot on my plate. And I check in, and I'm not affiliated with the Oura Ring or anything like that. I just, I use it for as part of my self-care, and I really like it.

Mm-hmm.

But it will alert me, your heart rate was not recovering throughout the night. It's time to take it easy. It will alert you when you're, you're not recovering. It alerts you on your oxygen intake, um, your REM sleep, your deep sleep. So it does, it will tell you.

Nice.

And it's things where you're like, well, I didn't feel like I was that stressed. But you know what, when you mentioned a panic attack earlier, I had a panic attack before. It's scary.

They're terrifying.

And I didn't know what that was, but that was a wake-up call for me.

Yeah. And, and maybe today is the day that I can, that we could say, you know what, Aura, hit up my girl Amberly. The, the True Grit and Grace podcast sponsored by Aura. It sounds great. Hey, I'm here for it. I would celebrate all day long. Uh, we need to make that happen. So Aura, hit my girl up.

Thank you. I'm sure they're listening. I'm sure of it.

Sure of it. We will make sure they get it.

You— I just saw, you know, I'd seen on your social media about a blood clot, and I'm like, what the heck?

Yep.

I have been traveling so much and not been on social media as much other than to just kind of post and go, which I know is bad. I used to spend hours on social media. I just caught up with yours and saw that, and I was like, oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I had no idea. But there's always, I feel like, a silver lining in those kind of things because it has inspired you to write a new book. But what happened with this blood clot?

Yeah, so welcome to life, right? So all the things we've been talking about, right? So emotional intelligence, taking care of my physical health, Peloton, meditation, the whole 9 yards. I was coming back from a keynote in Minnesota and long story short, by the time I got home, I, and it was a 1-hour flight. So most times you hear about people getting blood clots on flights or like, you know, international flights or long flights or whatnot. And I thought I had, when I stood up funny from my chair, I thought I pulled a, I thought I pulled a muscle in my calf and it started hurting. So I, I'm thinking, because I'm not as young as I used to be, I'm thinking, okay, I stood up quick and pulled a muscle in my calf. Get home and my right calf is twice the size of my left one.

Oh my gosh.

And I, in a previous life as a medical sales rep, I actually sold a device that detected DVTs or blood clots. And so I probably—

Are you kidding me?

No, just total, again, the irony and serendipity of life, right? So I know more about DVTs and blood clots than your average human should know. And so I went home that night, iced it, got it up. The swelling reduced a little bit, but You know, wasn't, wasn't perfect. So a couple days later, it's not better. I go to the urgent clinic and I said, okay, I either tore my calf or I have a DVT, one of the two. That's all this could be. And so they, they evaluated me. They said they didn't think it was a torn calf, but they didn't have an ultrasound machine. Go to the ER and you need to rule out a DVT. Unfortunately, the first hospital I went to grossly misdiagnosed me because the doctor said, And I quote, I can tell by looking at you that you don't have a DVT.

Oh my gosh.

That's not possible. You can't look at someone and tell if they have a DVT. Of course, I'm trusting my medical professional. I go home thinking I have a torn calf. She knows better than I do. She's a doctor. So a couple of days later, go back to an orthopedic. They say, I don't know why you're here. You don't have a torn muscle. Go to the ultrasound clinic and get your leg scanned immediately. Get my leg scanned. I had a blood clot. from the middle of my thigh, past my knee, down to my calf. Oh my gosh. No idea where it came from. No idea why it's there. I have theories and speculations or whatever. I'm going to have blood testing because I think it may be genetic. But I wind up in another ER, and the doctor I got connected with in that ER, she herself had been through a blood clot. So again, timing and serendipity that she knows exactly what she's talking about. And she said, had you followed this other doctor's advice for a few more days, You may not be sitting here. And that alone rocked my— you don't ever want to hear somebody say something like that. And so that night, you know, I'm at home chilling out on the couch, my mind is spinning, and I said, okay, all things considered, if tonight was the last night that I'm here, if this all ends tonight, not that I live my life with regrets because I don't, but what would I be upset that I left on the table? What have I not done? that I should have gotten done? Or what did I, what was I too afraid of? Or what did I let imposter syndrome get the best of me on that I didn't do? And so I said, okay, from this point forward, all bets are off. No more hesitation, no more blocking of ideas, no more boundaries for me as far as creative expression. Not that I had a huge problem with it because obviously you can tell from my background, if you're listening, you should see my background on my Zoom. It's pretty bonkers. But I just said, okay, whatever, let's just let it all come out. Let's just, I don't want to have anything left on the table from this point forward. It's like bonus time. So in the, it's been almost 2 months now. In the 2 months since that moment, I have started writing my first book because I've always wanted to write a book, just never knew what I wanted to do. And I'm also starting to write a TV show treatment. And so it's an idea that came to me. And I think the lesson here is that when you take the limitations off of your own mental creativity and your own abilities, amazing things can happen. Because I will say with both the book idea, the TV show idea, and some other things I'm working on, these all were probably suppressed because I didn't— well, nobody wants to see my show or nobody wants, you know, somebody's already talking about that, the typical imposter syndrome conversation.

Yeah.

Because we all go through it. But I will say without a hesitation—

Thank you for sharing that because—

Well, thank you for giving me the opportunity.

That we all go through that, that imposter syndrome.

Yeah.

And I mean, I appreciate you sharing that because you have achieved such luminous success. You are so smart. You inspire me beyond words. And that's, I think, one of the reasons that we became good friends is because we keep it real with each other. And you admit, hey, we all have imposter syndrome sometimes. I'm getting ready to go do this big talk in Vegas. Like, my heart starts pounding because I'm like, do they really want me to speak at this event? Right. And so you are inspiring me and reminding me of What are we waiting for? We're not guaranteed tomorrow. We're guaranteed right now, right, to just go for it. And you know what? I was in the ER. I went septic, and the doctor told me if I would have waited one more day, that could have been it. So I get it. I, I get that. But what do they do? I want to go back to that blood clot.

Sure.

What do they do to get rid of that?

So I've been on blood thinners, um, because that's the number— that's the first thing you have to do. Like, they put me on blood thinners immediately. Which helps obviously, you know, if you think about if you had a, if you had a, a pipe and you're, you know, and, and you ran some water through it, you know, that is, if that's the way your veins are supposed to flow. Now if you put in, let's just say you put in some Play-Doh inside the pipe and it condensed the ability for the water to flow through, that's what a blood clot is. It's, it's, it's, it's restricting and, and constricting the vein itself. And so by thinning the blood, it actually lets it flow through easier. And then I also take some natural enzymes to help battle the blood clot itself. Now, it's typically a minimum of a 3-month recovery. I had an ultrasound because I was going to be traveling for some presentation, so I wanted to have an ultrasound.

Are you supposed to be traveling on a plane?

So, yes, if you do it correctly. And so, one, I had an ultrasound.

I just care about you.

Yeah, I appreciate that. And trust me, I'm smarter than I look, and I'm also very hardheaded, but I also am willing to take advice, especially from, from the right medical professionals. So I had an ultrasound to see if it was progressing in the right direction first, which it is. So good news there. But then also precautionary, you know, if you drink lots of water, if you move around, if you take Tylenol, like those things help. And I will also say that I'm going to start a new fashion trend. Y'all, compression stockings are in right now. I rock some amazing bright pink. I have a pair of, of compression stockings that look like that old Fruit Stripe gum. So I'm here to say that compression stockings are good.

I see you rocking those compression socks on social media. I had a whole collection of compression socks I had to wear. I would sometimes have to wear 2 or 3 on my right leg.

Oh my God.

And they actually put— this sounds crazy, but I woke up from one of my surgeries and I had 2 incisions. Right around my pelvis, and I'm like, what the heck? I had surgery on my leg. Why do they put these incisions? And they actually put filters in my femoral artery because they were so worried about a blood clot coming up and killing me. So they actually put a filter in there, and a year later they went in and they went all the way in. And through my neck all the way down to that and took the filter out. Oh, is that crazy? Oh my gosh. They put me out for it though. They, they, they put me out. I wasn't awake.

Oh, I would hope.

I wasn't awake during that.

I was gonna say, if you wanna tell the story about true grit, it's, yeah, they did a, they did an artery surgery with no medication. I'd be like, oh my God, Amberly, come on.

Well, they've done some pretty crazy stuff. I had one surgery on my foot, uh, not to get off topic too much, but I had been put under anesthesia so many times that the number of times I've been put under anesthesia is the 34 surgeries I even count. But there was one surgery that I don't even count that I went into the doctor's office and the CRPS had made my toes were like, you couldn't move them and they were stuck in a certain position. And so I said, I do not want to be put under for this surgery. He goes, okay. So he just deadened the area. Made incisions right in front of me and then released those toes. Oh, the sound of it was like so cringy. But at least I didn't have to be put under anesthesia. So I was awake for that one, but I didn't feel it. I only felt the shots he gave me.

I thought I was tough to an extent, but you, Amberly, you just blew me. Like, I can't. Like, the idea of that just I don't know if people can see me right now, but I'm like, I'm just— you have all my respect. Like, there's no way. I mean, for the most part, if I could, I would knock myself out to take out a hangnail. So the fact that you went through that with no anesthesia— but I mean, the deadening anesthesia.

You are so funny.

Good Lord. Like, if I had an ingrown hair in my face from shaving, like, give me— like, knock me out and get that bad boy out. But you blow me away.

Oh my gosh, you are so funny. Going back to your book, do you have a title for your book?

I do. I have a working title and it is, I'm glancing over here to my whiteboard, which my wife made me get because I have way too much stuff that just flows through my head every single day. And it's called Playful Innovation. And so the concept is how companies and individuals can use creative and fun exercises and activities to foster innovation because so many times we, you know, companies will call themselves innovative, but it's forced innovation or it's limited innovation or it's innovation, but you have this budget or you have this timeline or we've got to do these things or, you know, it's so, so many companies restrict themselves and it was born of the idea of going back to the blood clot story of me saying, why not? Because I've always, that's always been one of my mantras, like, why not? What's the worst, you know, and you work through that mentality. So by limiting ourselves and going the route of saying, well, I want to be innovative or I want to be creative or I want to come up with this new idea, but I'm limited on time, I'm limited on budget, I'm limited on all these different things, you immediately are condensing the opportunity. So if you just say, what if with no boundaries? And I've spoken with a couple of companies about this. If you just said, what if with no boundaries, even if you came up with an idea that was a $100 million marketing idea and you don't have $100 million in your marketing budget, you now have something that you have on the shelf or on the radar that maybe you work to. And maybe $110 million is a bit exaggerated, maybe a million-dollar marketing idea. But if you said, okay, I have a million-dollar marketing idea that I know would be gigantic, how do I get to a point where I build my business to have a million-dollar marketing budget to do so? And it's all of the theory of reverse engineering your goals, but that innovation through creativity and the why not theory. is everything because you never know what you're going to uncover. And so like, even like this TV show idea was me just saying, let me just throw all of my ideas onto one page with no hesitation, no reservation, just slap it all up there. What are the things I'm passionate about? What stories do I like to tell? All these different things. And there it was. And literally, in probably about a 2-hour time period, I went from having No concept of a TV show whatsoever to having a concept of a TV show so strong that it is my number one priority that I want to get done in the next year.

Oh my gosh, I can't wait for that.

Oh, it is. It will be. And too, like, I thought to myself when I got the idea kind of mapped out, I said, would I watch this show? And I said, I would not miss this show.

Oh my goodness.

It's that fun of an idea.

Wow. That is amazing.

Sponsored by Aura.

Yes. Yes.

Right out there. We're leveraging Aura's marketing budget right now as we talk about it.

Yes. Well, you know, really, I'm always— every time I get to talk with you, like, always so inspired. If you're listening to this, you should head over to YouTube so you can just see his background. I have that same book, that TED book, by the way. But I love your background. It's, as you know, like one of my favorite colors. That blue is beautiful. And the paintings that you did and the football helmets and the trophy. I did not know that you were— is that your trophy?

It is. I am not a professional dancer, but I can say that I am an award-winning one. So for those of you listening and not watching, I am pointing out a dancing trophy that is on my bookshelf in my background. I was actually one of 3 national game show appearances that I have. So I was on a show on ESPN years ago called I'd Do Anything, and it was basically a sports version of Fear Factor.

Oh.

So you have to participate in stunts. You don't know what the stunts are until right before you do it. There are some phenomenal— I mean, the video footage itself from the show is phenomenal. We were taken to Las Vegas, not told what we were doing there. And we were told at the very last second, hey, by the way, you're going to be dancing in front of 1,000 people at the Nevada Ballroom Dancing Competition. And here you go. Here is your dance instructor who is going to work with you to not only teach you tango and salsa, but you have to create an original dance routine with this instructor to perform in front of said 1,000 people.

Oh.

So we had— I think it was 3 hours to come up with a dance routine with this instructor. Bonus, I was wearing a pair of tights in a satin mariachi shirt. Oh my goodness. So let that linger.

I am going to find that.

Oh, I will send it to you. I am that proud of it. There is a picture of me right before we walked out. That is a gem. That is one of my favorite pictures.

How long ago was this?

I think it was like 2004. But it was a phenomenal experience.

This shirt that I'm wearing right now was actually my costume For one of the last speaking gigs that I did, they said, we do want you to do a keynote, but by the way, there's a surprise finale and we want you and this professional dancer and the event planner who's also a professional dancer to do a dance. So I had an hour to— I haven't danced since my motorcycle accident like that.

Right.

Choreography. I had an hour to learn a routine. And go perform in front of this entire audience. And it was so much fun. Oh, my.

But I guarantee you, because to me, I think, especially as a professional dancer, and I've had friends that have been professional dancers or have danced in college or whatnot, it's almost like riding a bike. Like you can, you can pick up on it. Like you're either a really good dancer or you're not. So I guarantee you the hour that you had to prep I guarantee you, because I've seen you dancing on stage a couple of times, I guarantee you, you knocked that choreography out of the park. I had 3 hours and I laughed at myself the entire way through the routine. I still won.

I can't wait to see this.

Oh, it's phenomenal. And I will say this, it'll either bring you immense joy. It should bring you immense joy because it's not you dancing if you watch this audience. But it's also something you kind of can't unsee. So viewer discretion advised. Oh my goodness. It's pure comedy. It is pure comedy. I own it. I love it. I did it. It's not something I'm embarrassed by, but I'm like, yeah, I stepped into that opportunity and I rocked it, spandex pants and satin mariachi shirt and all.

I love it. Every time I talk to you, every time I get to talk with you, I just learn something new, something fascinating that you never cease to amaze me with all that you have done and all that you have accomplished. And I could talk to you all day. That's how we are. We get on the phone call and we could talk. So I so respect your time. We have run out of time, but there's one more question I wanted to ask you. How do you— because you talk about mindset and positivity a lot. How would you suggest somebody stays positive around negative people?

I think it's up to you to determine how you let that impact you. And I had a conversation with my son about this this morning, as a matter of fact, on his way to school. So you're going to come in contact with people that are negative. You're going to come in contact with people that are going to have the ability to take your day in a negative way or a downward spiral. That is up to you to set that boundary and say, no, not going this route. And so, 2 things. You can either say, I'm just setting up a boundary and not dealing with this individual and just separate them. Now, if it's somebody that you can't separate from, whether it's a spouse or a coworker or a family member or whatnot, if you have the ability to separate yourself, separate yourself. If you don't, then you need to go into every interaction with that individual thinking, stay positive, stay focused on your energy, tap into what you need to do. And if it goes in a negative way, if the conversation starts to sour, remove yourself or say like, hey, look, this is great. Or if it's a coworker, perfect example, I had a coworker once that was always negative, like the Debbie Downer of people that you could work with. And so, when it started going that route and I felt my— you could feel your energy start changing.

You can.

You can feel your energy.

There's been times where I have had a family member that has come over and it's so negative that I have had to excuse myself, go upstairs and lay down for a little bit and get my energy back up before I could go back down.

Yeah. And the best way that you can manage that is to say, look, I would love to hear more about this. We have 20 minutes left in this meeting. We've got to get to this, this, and this. Can we, can we table this for now? I want to hear more about it later, and let's focus on these things. You're redirecting the energy of the meeting, and you know, not that you're, not that you're lying, but if you don't get to that conversation later on, maybe you don't. If you do, then it gives you a different venue to talk about it, and you can set expectations at that time. But if you're in the middle of a conversation or the middle of a meeting and somebody starts taking it in a negative way, hey, Amberly, thanks. I really, you know, I really want to hear more about this. Can we set up some time to talk about this later? We got to get to these other 3 agenda items before the end of the meeting. So let's pause on this for now. Let's deal with these right now and get these done. And then let's set up some time to talk more about your frustration on fill-in-the-blank topic. You're dictating the energy flow. You're dictating the lines and the boundaries. You're also dictating the path to success for you and that other individual.

So good. Yeah, I had a coach that I worked with once. If I ever started to complain, he'd be like, well, what are you going to do about it? No, we need to work. Are you ready to work on the solution? Are you ready to— you want to complain or you want to work on a solution and find a solution for that? And I was like, oh, I mean, he was like harsh, but it helped because—

Yeah, you could, you can go that route or you can say, do you need me to listen or are you telling me that you're looking for my help here? So again, lots of ways you could take it.

Okay. What do you have time for? One more question?

Of course. I've always got time for you.

Thank you. If you have somebody that comes to you and they're like, I feel mentally just stuck, what would you suggest for them to do?

I do a couple of different things. So I work with— I do some public speaking coaching. So I'll have people that will come to me and talk about that. And inevitably, as a highly sensitive person, I usually am the person that somebody says, do you mind if I talk to you about this thing? And I love it because people open up to me. They're very vulnerable with me. It's a blessing for me. So I love But a lot of times when people say I'm stuck, I go and say, okay, where are you trying to get to? Because if you're stuck, it means you're looking at something, you're going towards a goal, you're going towards a different life, you're going towards some kind of change in your life. And if you're saying you're stuck, it means you had some progression, but you need to figure out what got you there. So I establish what they're trying to do and where they're trying to get to first. And then we back up and we say, okay, You were on your way there. What happened? What changed? Is there something that's going on? And we really just sit in the moment and identify because a lot of times we'll say, well, I'm stuck, or I don't feel like I'm progressing, or I feel like I've plateaued. Well, okay, maybe you've plateaued because the habits that you were incorporating in your life got you to this point of success. And if you want to go higher, because if you feel like you plateaued, you obviously want to go higher, then you need to focus on, okay, what is that next level up? If I do the same things that I'm doing now, I'm not going to get there. What needs to change? Does something need to be removed? Do I need to change a habit? Do I need to reallocate how I'm focusing my day? Do I need to delegate? Do I need to hire like an Upwork person to take something off my plate? Because when we're stuck, we're overextended or not focusing on the right things. So, focus on the goal, understand what you need to do to get there. But in that process, identify where you're currently at and is that the level that you want to be at? And if so, great. But you wouldn't feel stuck if that was the case. So, identify what that next level is and identify the habits and the changes that you need to make to get there. And then it's up to you to make the action happen. You only stay stuck if you want to. Anybody can get unstuck.

I agree. And I'm so glad you brought up about the habits because Because I think deep down, we all know if we're really radically honest with ourselves, what are the things that we need to let go of and what are the things we need to start incorporating? So, that was—

I love radical honesty is my new favorite phrase. Radical honesty. Like, I couldn't agree with you more because we get to a point where we're like, well, I don't know, I'm stuck. I feel like I'm plateaued. But you're also spending an hour and a half scrolling social media. Collectively throughout the entire day. You don't have to eliminate it, but cut it back. And then let's say you get an hour back out of your day. What can you do in that hour? You could do a ton of stuff in an hour.

Oh, for sure. For sure. Yeah. So good. Okay. Where are people going to be able to find, number one, that dancing video? Number two, how to book you, as I know you are so in demand as a speaker, like constantly. Traveling, going all over the place, doing your virtual events, which I've seen an example of, and I'm so impressed. And your website is gorgeous.

Thank you.

It is phenomenal.

Thank you.

And there's so much on there too. Like, if y'all just go to— so tell us your website and the best way for people to get a hold of you and book you as a speaker or a coach. And I know you do a lot of webinars too.

Yes. Yeah, every— everything is at richbracken.com, which I'll share the link with you to make sure that people can get to me. And yeah, so richbracken.com has got everything linked to my Spotify, linked to my YouTube, linked to all my speaking resources, other videos, news appearances, booking information. What's great now is that I'm offering keynote speeches, workshops as follow-ups, but I'm also doing a lot of MC hosting for conferences and events. And then also the DJ thing has come back. So now I call myself a triple threat category of one. Like, I don't know anybody else that's offering those 3 services. So it's amazing. I've had clients come to me and start mixing and matching where they're booking me for a keynote, but they're also having me host the event. And then they have me DJ the afterparty.

So it's like, it's incredible.

It's so much fun. I love what I get to do. And I know you do too. I'm just honored and blessed that I get the ability to do this because it's so much fun. Until Drew Carey retires from The Price is Right and they call me for that job, like I'm gonna ride. I love what I do.

Well, I want to have you The Renaissance in Dallas, April 20th.

Oh, that's already happening. I've already got— I booked it on my calendar while we were talking. 4/20, I'm there.

Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. You guys, if you are listening and you're out for a run or you're driving, don't worry. You can find all the links to richbracken.com in the show notes. You'll get all that information. I just appreciate you so much as a friend, your time so much, sharing all your wisdom. And fun facts here on True Grit and Grace. So thank you for being here with us today.

Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.

Oh, I appreciate you so much. And thanks so much for tuning in and listening in. I appreciate y'all downloading this episode, subscribing so you don't miss the next episode. And until next time, thank you again.