Empowering Others Through Storytelling and Inspiration with Nikki Sharp

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hey, Amberly Lago here. Thank y'all for tuning in to True Grit and Grace, and I have an amazing guest today. She is the definition of grit and grace for sure. She is beautiful in every sense of the word. I actually first met her on Instagram, and I've been stalking her and following her journey. And she's a wellness expert. She's a 2-time bestselling author. She's a transformational coach. She has been featured on— in every magazine you could ever imagine, from Cosmopolitan to Elle to Shape, Women's Health, Men's Health, um, Huffington Post. So many different platforms. We have so much in common. I've been looking forward to this day to finally get to talk with her. She has a podcast called A Sharper Life, and I'm excited. I'll get to be a guest on her podcast too. But I have with us the one, the only Nikki Sharp. Thank you for being here.

Thank you, Amberly. And what a I like the drum roll. The da da da da da.

Here I am.

But yeah, I mean, thank you so much. And I'm I'm just really excited to. I mean, really talk about grit and grace because. I think it's so easy to look at people, especially online, and people look at me and how I look and the travels that I do. And if you don't know my backstory, then it's like, oh, great, there's another pretty girl. And it's like, well, no, it wasn't always like that. And so I always feel honored to be able to share, to inspire, to give hope, because as we were talking off camera, The contexts of our stories are different, but the secondary either traumas we experience, the emotional traumas, or what we had to go through in our own to really get to where we are is quite the same. So I'm thrilled to be here and chat about all the things.

Thank you. And you know what? I'm so glad you mentioned that. To look at, like, a lot of people place judgment. I mean, it's human nature. And to look at your Instagram, I mean, y'all, hello. First of all, you got to go follow her on Instagram, Nikki Sharp, because I, I, I have to admit, girl, I have like gone down the rabbit hole on your Instagram. I love it. And binged and binged your reels. And because, okay, okay, you're stunningly gorgeous. Stunningly gorgeous. So if you're not watching this on YouTube and you're listening to this, you will have to go and check out the YouTube or check out her on Instagram. But there's so much more to you than behind, like, than, than your looks, than your beauty. And you have overcome a lot. And so much of the reason I wanted to have you on the show is because I relate to your story in so many ways. So believe it or not, I used to actually model, and I never— that was something I never wanted to get into. I was a dancer, and they kept sending me out for these modeling gigs. And so many of the times they would say I'm too fat, I'm, I'm too muscular, I'm too— and I'm like, duh, I'm a dancer, I'm not a model, you know? And they'd keep sending me out. Then when I got in the fitness industry I was told I'm too skinny. I need to eat more. I need more muscle. So when I read about your story and your— what you have done, I was like, oh gosh, we got a lot to talk about. Um, and so I would love for you to just share a little bit about like how you went from being this former international model And modeling all over the world. But what that, what comes along with that as far as like body image, the, the emotional stuff that comes along with that. And then how did you transition to where you are today to where you help people break that cycle of the self-sabotage? The limiting beliefs, even like body dysmorphia, all these things, and going back into really bad habits. Because, hey, I've definitely been there. So I'm here just as much to ask you, like, I need your help.

Yes. Asking for a friend.

Asking for a friend.

You're right. I mean, what I'll say before I jump into the very Cliff Notes version of where I got to or where I am today is Much like you, when I was in the modeling industry, I was not tall enough. So I was 5'8. They would always lie and say I was 5'9. So for runway, not tall enough. But then I was at some points in my career not skinny enough for what certain people wanted. And then I lost weight. And then because I was very skinny at times from eating disorders, I then was not— I was skinny enough for runway but not tall enough. And I had a really small waist. bigger hips. And anyone that looks at me now will be like, what? But the modeling world, I mean, it's a different world. They're crazy. They measure everything.

Okay, so what are— I just want to know, like, curious to what's your waist and what's your hip measurement?

Oh, now I have no idea. Since I left the modeling world, I— What was it back then? I mean, what they really want in inches is 34 bust, 24, 34, which basically means that you have a small waist, but you have almost no hips. And honestly, this is going to sound bad, but there is something about clothes on a body type like that, because if you change the body type, you're actually distracting from the clothes. People pay more attention to the body. And so these big designers, they want to feature the clothes. I'm not going to go into all of that. I don't think it's healthy what they promote, but I didn't have that. I don't remember what my waist and hips and all that were, but—

Oh, well, I do, Nikki. I do, because it was drilled into me that I needed to have 34, 24, 34. And so I would have that tape measure and I would be— and that I've never shared that on the podcast before, ever.

But it was like, oh, it's drilled into you. 100%.

It's drilled into you. And it was borderline, like, I look back now, I didn't know what eating disorder or any of that was, but there was definitely some disorders going on there to where I would eat and then go run 10 miles or, or eat only power bars because that was the only protein bars back then, that sort of thing.

Yeah.

Um, so I'm so happy to hear that you're like, Oh, I don't even know.

I mean, I don't know my weight. I don't know my— I got very traumatized for many years. Like, I couldn't go to the doctor and step on a scale. I would actually have to turn around. I do know that my, my hips were just always bigger than what they wanted and my waist was always smaller. So—

You're gorgeous.

Thank you. Well, I also have a much healthier body now, and it's, it's actually more balanced, but So what I was saying with that is I never fit into the modeling world because I wasn't tall enough or I was too skinny and I had the all-American girl look, but then again, too skinny. Or if I gained weight, then it was just so messed up. So then I went into the wellness industry by accident, just honestly trying to heal myself. And I'll give a bit more context from that. But then I go into the wellness industry and I'm too thin, not muscular enough. Too pretty.

And I'm like—

and so I've also really just learned, like, there's no such thing, in my viewpoint, of fitting in. If you're trying to fit in, it's the wrong thing. Because what are you trying to fit into? Whose mold of the world? And so the really long short of it is, growing up, I always wanted to be a model, and I did it. I graduated university early with honors. As soon as I graduated, I was on a plane to Shanghai. So I've lived in LA, Shanghai, Sydney, Athens, London, New York, born in Colorado, and I'm forgetting a few other places for modeling. And oh, and South Korea. So for me, it was really— I took the opportunity to do the international scene because I was 22 at the time and That's considered old for international model. They're all like 16 to 19. And I wanted to travel the world and do this incredible thing and explore. And I've always had a soul that just wants to explore and experience.

Can I just go back one second? Is that not crazy that 22?

Oh, yeah.

That's considered like, okay, you're old. And do you know that's why I retired as a dancer, as a professional dancer at 25? Because I had it made up in my mind that because I worked with dancers that were in their 30s and they were bitter and old and like 25 as a dancer, you're done. Like that's the height of your career. And so I was like, I'm going to finish strong. I'm going to get out of the modeling and the dancing career at 25 when I'm at the height. And I told my agent and they were like, kept calling me and I'm like, nope, I'm done.

Wow.

I am on the way to my fitness journey as, as that career. But how crazy is that? Because now I'm at a point where I'm like, wow, I was told these stories of it's done when you're 22 or it's done when you're 25. And now I, I'm, I have a totally different aspect and I'm like, I completely started a whole new career. At 48 years old. Yeah.

Well, and I think what's so important on that, and you and I both, we speak of resilience and literally grit and grace of going through hardships. Like, I've changed my, quote unquote, career so many times, and I still feel like I'm not even in my career. I'm like, I'm still building. I don't know what, 5 years, who knows what it's going to look like. And so did the modeling thing, had 2 eating disorders during the time, didn't understand Why or how. Had insomnia, was addicted to Ambien for 5 years of that. Did all sorts of meditation things trying to heal it. Went to doctors, did a sleep study in New York, and it was just like, yeah, every doctor or person I saw for eating disorders or this, it was like, all right, well, stress less. Okay.

So you would go to bed and you just couldn't sleep?

Yeah. You don't know what you know now. You don't know then. And so what I now know, and then because of what I teach and I'm so passionate about it, is it was just the mind. The mind was just keeping me up and not even on a conscious level. On a subconscious level, my mind was just in the background.

Yeah.

And so what I learned was, I mean, there was a whole host of things that I did to change it, but it was like changing my diet, bringing in colorful fruits and vegetables and just plant-based food. Not saying vegan, I'm just saying, like, real food. That was a huge game changer for me.

I want to go back to your eating disorder. Were you just, like, starving yourself, or were you binging, or what were you doing?

So for years, it started off as anorexia, and I never counted calories, but I just would eat as little as possible. And that went for a few years until I was in— actually, well, until I got to the point where my body was literally asking for food. And then I would binge on almonds, which is not a fun thing. It's not like binging on almonds, not fun when someone's like, oh, I wish I would do that because it's such a high amount of natural fat. Your body's like, oh, so things like that. And then I went to South Korea and they told me that they wanted me to gain weight in very specific places. So, like, Could I gain weight over by where my knees are but not on my thighs?

What? Yeah, that's not even possible.

No, it's not, right? It's not. But what they were trying to say is, can you basically mindfully gain a small amount of weight? Which is— I mean, I would say if you're weight training and doing the right things, it's not going to be out of proportion. But I took that as, oh, okay, I can go eat a bunch of food now. I started binging. And then when you binge, you feel awful. So then I would restrict, and that lasted a few more years. And so the journey out of that, I mean, the eating disorders was long and arduous. The getting over insomnia and off of Ambien, which is, I think, one of the most addictive substances. I think Ambien is probably honestly worse than most drugs that I've heard people taking.

Do you know I had Ambien one time?

Yeah.

I had Ambien one time. Um, and, uh, maybe I shouldn't be saying this on podcast, but I keep it real here. Uh, I had Ambien one time and I sleptwalk and was leaving, leaving the house. I was about to get in the car and drive in a full-on sleepwalk.

Yeah.

And my husband was like, what the heck is going on? And that's when he started setting the alarm. For the house, and I was like, okay, I'm not taking that stuff anymore because that is just crazy. I don't even remember getting up. So good for you for getting off of that. But but I also appreciate Nikki so much that you are sharing like it took a lot of work on your part. Like you went to therapy, you were willing to do the work. You weren't just going to. different doctors or therapists and saying, help me, fix me. You were like, no, I need to fix myself.

At first I went to doctors being like, hey, fix me, help me get over the insomnia. And then you start to realize a few years into it that no one's going to fix you. At least this was my experience. And the eating disorders, kind of the moment that I remember I mean, obviously I remember so much, but it was like one of those moments, the life-changing moments where I went to my doctor in London where I was living at the time, super depressed, incredibly unhappy, and eating disorders, both of them feeling awful about myself. Much like your story of like, what's the point at this point? I don't really know what the point of living with how I feel. So I went to my doctor and I said, I think I need to go to an eating disorder clinic. And so in London, they put me on a 6-month waiting list just to get seen by the clinic. And I was like, I don't— in this rate how I feel, I'm not seeing the physicality.

6 months?

Yeah.

I remember waiting 1 week for a friend to take me to a recovery program, and I thought, I'm going to die. Like, I will die. I need help right now.

Yeah.

So what did you do when you were like 6 months?

6 months? Yeah. I went back to the doctor, or I think at the same time he had given me depression medication, antidepressant, and I took it for 1 day. And I've always been a very joyful, bubbly, vibrant child. My mother called me Pollyanna, for anyone who's watched the movie. And so that's in my nature. But I had been numbing myself because I didn't understand the feelings, that I was trying to numb. That was one of the keys to healing, is being okay to face those feelings. So I told him that. He put me on the medication. I took it for one day, and then I was like, no. It was like a no. I know there's something behind this. And that led me on this multi-year, forever non-ending journey that I'm still on today to discover Who I am, what makes me tick, my vulnerabilities, weaknesses, my triggers, my traumas. And it's like peeling an onion where just when I think that I've gotten to this next layer and I'm like, great, cool, life is good, and then there's another trigger that you have to deal with and childhood inner wounding. And I think the biggest thing that I've learned through it all—

Thank you for saying that, by the way.

Yeah.

Hello. Can I just acknowledge that right now? Thank you for saying that because I have been feeling like that lately. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm resilient. I should be able to get through this hard stuff. Like I just lost my dad like a week and a half ago, passed away.

I'm so sorry.

And I'm like, why is this so hard? Like, why am I being so triggered? Why can't I just like snap up and keep going and keep moving? So I think what helps is actually when we know that we're not alone on this journey. And I know that's a huge connect, like a piece of what you talk about is like how connection is so important going through these trials and tribulations. And I love that you share that. But I just, I'm sorry, I had to say that real quick. Thank you for saying that, because that That helps me because I've been struggling a bit. And so for you to go, you know what, we think we're good, we think we got it figured out, and then one more thing. Let me figure this next thing out.

Yeah. Well, and I'm so sorry to hear that. And the triggers, the traumas, this is life. If you have a viewpoint that life is going to be peachy and rosy, You might as well change your viewpoint at some point because there will be so many beautiful moments. But it's really how do you act and react when things get challenging? And actually, on Friday, my husband came home and I was sitting on the couch and I realized that I had all of this, all these feelings and emotions that I had been numbing and putting down and distracting myself with work. So I started sharing and then just The floodgates open, and this is like literally a few few days ago Friday, and I'm like bawling, and I'm like I don't know what I feel about children and my business, and I'm a failure. And it's I share that because I just as as you mentioned, it is nice to know that the experts that we look up to, that someone looks up to me, that I look up to someone else. Like it's sounds bad to say, but like I want to know that you have a bad day, and this was. Actually how my brand started without knowing that this was going to be the model of my brand. When I was in London in the eating disorders, I think at this point I'd gone to my doctor and now I was kind of like on my way trying to figure this out. And I remember thinking, God, I wish I just knew that Gisele Bundchen, famous supermodel, because I'd always idolized them. I'm like, I wish I just knew that Gisele and Miranda Kerr Had a bad day. Like, tell me that you had a bad day and you got like it's not always perfect.

Like things are not always just going.

Tell me that you binged and you feel like shit today. And like tell me that you got over it so that I feel hopeful. And they those two women like like Miranda Kerr, I look at her and I'm like yeah, I just don't relate because she's like doesn't really have like doesn't share. Let's say that the harder times. And so in that moment, I said you know people were following me on Instagram and. I just said to myself, I will always share what's going on to give someone else hope because I've never felt that. And so it just unknowingly became kind of the motto. And so I'm pretty open with things that I go through. Like, just got back from my honeymoon in the Maldives, which was beautiful. And there was a lot of fights. There was a lot of crunchy times. And I talk about there's a fine line between Expectation and intention. And we crossed that boundary quite a bit. And so I think it's so important that those that we look up to are real as well, so that it helps give hope for whatever you're going through now, because that's really what it was. I felt very hopeless during my journey because there weren't a lot of experts sharing, and Instagram wasn't this big thing, and people weren't podcasting and talking about this. So that's like, The long short, without going into all the other things, but I ended up writing this detox program and then wrote books and started coaching. And now I look back and I'm like, I had to go through everything that I did. And thank God that I did. Thank God I did so that someone else won't have to take that same path, because now I have the tools to help someone else. And I'm sure you feel the same.

Thank you for being transparent and authentic. And that's one of the things that I really love about you. And that's one of the things that I love also about your Instagram is that you'll show a picture of yourself, but you're like, swipe right and you'll see how I felt before when I wasn't in the healthiest mindset.

Right.

So you share with people that it's okay. It doesn't matter what your past is. You can choose to move forward and to be the best version of yourself. But I want to know, why did you decide to write this detox book?

Honestly, it was for me. It was during Christmas in 2013, and I felt awful.

Was it 2013?

Yeah. Well, that's when I wrote the ebook. Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I mean, and how it started was I Went to Google. I put in detox, and what came up was the Gwyneth Paltrow All Hungry Young or some messing up his name. But it was like a $400 box of supplements. I'm a broke-ass model. I don't have $400, and I want to eat food, and I have eating disorders. So I know that's going to trigger my you know the the eating. I'd been doing nutrition programs at this time. Started falling in love with food, and. The Shape magazine had another one which was like 6-ounce salmon with 6 spears of asparagus. And I'm like, one, I don't eat fish. Two, I don't want 6 spears of asparagus. I want to be able to eat food again. And then there was no juicing at the time, but there was like a smoothie cleanse. I live in London. It was cold. And so my goal at that time when I wrote it was I wasn't necessarily trying to lose weight. I wanted to feel better. And I wanted to feel better in the quickest amount of time without spending a fortune on supplements and things like that. And what I knew about nutrition. So I literally asked myself, okay, you're going to write your own program. And I think— I mean, not I think, I channeled from a higher power, divine God, whatever you want to call it, my higher self to write this program. But I'm like, 5 days, that's it. 6 days. I don't want to do 6 days. 7 days? No way. 5 days, like Monday to Friday, I can commit to that. And then if I want to go out for a drink on Saturday, great, I can. And so I wrote it for that. I just put it in a Google document. Actually, I wrote it in a notebook. I still have that notebook to this day. And then on Instagram, I had 5,000 followers at the time, and I just did a little post-it sort of note and I said, hi, everyone, I wrote this detox program. Do you all want it? If so, just let me know. And everyone was like, yes. And so I decided to charge for it. So I put it into a pretty format and added some photos and took photos of the meals. And I decided to charge £5 where I was living because that's like a coffee, whatever. Ended up being $8. And I wasn't charging for the information as much because I'm like, anyone can go learn about food and like what's good for you, what's not. I actually was charging because I knew people were going to come to me with questions. And it was just, it was the right price point and people saw incredible results. And it's, you know, what, what better than having something where—

That's brilliant, by the way. Like, did you think of that all on your own?

Yeah, well, I, I did, but none of it was because I thought I was going to make sales from it. Like, I honestly thought I was gonna sell like 10 PDFs. Like, it wasn't even an ebook, it was like a Word document saved as a PDF. And I was like, Cool. Like, I'm, you know, I'll sell a few. And so in the first 2 weeks, it was a 4-point transaction where you'd have to— because there was no direct messaging or links in bio, so you'd have to say you want it, put your email there. I would email you the invoice. You would then email me back saying you paid. I would then email you the, the book. I mean, it was not sustainable.

So were you doing this all like individual emails?

Yeah, because at the time, you know, it's like one person wants to, then I think in, in the first 2 weeks I had sold $200, like, so, you know, at $8 a pop. And I'm like, that's amazing. I was so excited, honestly. Like, and I think that's the other thing— the smallest things in your life can change your life forever.

Mm-hmm.

And so instead of getting attached to these big grand results you think that you're gonna see— I started off with an $8 ebook that literally led to the career I am. Without ever thinking. So I had sold, like—

Thank you for saying that. Yeah, thank you. Because that's how I started with my book. Like, I was just like, I hope that one person other than my mom reads this book and it will give my pain purpose. And little did I know that this many years later that I would have a podcast called True Grit and Grace, be speaking all over the country about resilience. So I love that you share that. And I think it's because you have such a beautiful heart. And just like a servant's heart to want to help other people, that people feel that. And that's one of the many reasons they're attracted to you and they want to learn from you. But also, Nikki, I want to learn from someone who has been through it. Right. Not somebody who's just like, oh, well, you should do this. And I'm like, well, have you had experience doing that? And I'm like, No, you've lived through it. I want to learn from you. Like, how do I get better? How do I detox? What are the next steps to do?

Fully agree. Well, and I think with that, it took many years to acknowledge myself and my own journey and how far I've come, because I think we're all human. It's like, oh, I should be doing more, and I could be. This was my little breakdown on Friday that I had. I'm like, oh, my business is not where I want it to be. But then when I take a step back—

Me too, by the way. Right?

Whose is? But it's like, I take a step back and I'm like, everything I've done, I've, I've learned on my own. I— and yes, I've had help along the way. But I learned how to, you know, do ebooks. And then I was helping other people. I learned how to create websites and do the backend of it. I learned how to Add downloadable things. I then create— like, when I launched my app, I created a whole Photoshop thing of exactly how I wanted every page to look, and I handed it to the developer and I said, great, that's it, like, build that. And so super easy, you know.

Hey, well, wait, let's talk about your app.

I mean, we can. It's, it's no longer in the, the store though. You can't get it because what I wanted to do was get people just to actually get the book, because what I've found, at least from having the app for so long— I mean, so the app, when I launched it, it went number 1 in 6 countries in 24 hours, no paid marketing. And that was just— that's the power of community, of like getting people excited and getting them inspired with you because they're part of the journey with you. But yeah, the app, um, I just— I realized funneling them to the book was better because I poured my heart and soul into the book, and there's only so much information you can put in an app. And then the next iteration, which this has been years in the thus far non-making, but the belief is in my head, I'll do it. And the hope is a meal delivery service from my detox because it's a program, it works, it's amazing. And yeah, I'm happy to talk about any of that.

But you know what? I'm so glad you shared that because that's what we learn along the journey. When you're putting yourself out there and you're trying different things, it's like you figure out What works, what doesn't work, what's the next step. This is making an impact. This isn't. And that's how you do it. But kudos to you for like actually going for it. And I think, you know, I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone earlier this morning and she was just in tears because she had lost her assistant. And she's like, I got to figure out what I'm going to do. And I was like, well, I'll cut back my assistant hours so you can have some of my assistant. And we'll, we'll figure this out. She said, yeah, I don't know if people realize how expensive it is to run a business. Like what happens on the back end of having a podcast or a coaching business or a mastermind or an app or whatever it is. And I think you really have to love what you're doing to make it work.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I just appreciate again so much that you sharing, like, we all have bad days. We're like, oh my gosh, I'm not doing enough. I should be doing more this and that because it makes you feel not so alone in the journey. So when did you start to break that isolation of, you know, going from having eating disorders and feeling alone in your journey to realizing that, no, I, I'm here. Connection is key. Connection is the opposite of addiction. Connection is the opposite of loneliness and depression, and it's how we thrive. When did you realize that? And then how did you start to build your community?

I would say I actually learned it kind of in an opposite way because I've had such an abnormal life and career. Like, I went to 3 colleges in 4 years. I graduated high school a year early. So I never went to prom. I never walked with my high school people. And then here I am, like, bouncing school. So I've had such an just abnormal upbringing, career, whatever you name it. And so I didn't have the opportunity because of these choices that I made to have that formal community where we go to brunch or it's like, I want to call my friend, but we're on the opposite sides of the world and time zones. And so I actually found the power of community through Instagram in 2013 when I started sharing. It was just kind of like the detox. It was an account just for me where I would share headless body photos of myself. So I'd crop my head off and I would share my body, and then I would be really open and vulnerable and talking about my body dysmorphia and if I binged that day and how I was feeling. I was also posting.

Really? Was that a different account?

No, same one. But over the course of— I mean, I'm so sad that I deleted these photos because then— and the Instagram account name was Skinny Mini Me XOXO because that's what I was still in that time frame, like, aspiring to be.

Oh, you're kidding me. See, I left the crappy, crappy Instagram posts that I put up when I first started Instagram because when I first started, I had written my book and I had a publisher that was like, well, we're going to publish your book. We don't do any marketing or branding. If you want to get your book out there, it's up to you to do it. And I was like, okay, well, I have no money. What can I utilize that's free? And I was like, okay, let me get on Instagram. I didn't know how to work it, didn't know how to do it at all. And this is like 5 years ago, by the way, and started posting and the posts were terrible. The captions were terrible and I leave them up. Because I want people to know we all start from somewhere. We start from not knowing what we're doing to figuring it out. So to growing. Wow. You started in 2013.

Well, and I thought I was late to the game. The reason that I took posts down, though, was it was a very, like, fitspo account for me. Again, this was an account for me to share my personal journey, not with anyone. I didn't think anyone was going to follow. I didn't know how it worked. And then I started hitting the popular page 2 times a day. I would get like up to 10,000 followers a day. So I went from—

What?

Yeah, I went—

How did you start hitting the For You page?

Because it was, it was 9 photos at the time and I just, I would post something that I knew that people liked. And so just the algorithm really liked my account. So I went from 10,000 to 100,000 from January to May in 2014.

Oh my gosh. Are you serious?

Yeah. Well, the growth is much, much smaller and slower now, but why I share that—

Okay. Yeah. The growth is smaller now, right?

Oh, I mean, it crawls. It's so hard now.

It's like on Instagram. Okay. I just wondered if you noticed that because on Instagram there would be weeks where I would gain sometimes 2,000 followers. And now I'm like, okay, hello, I've been staying at the same number.

Oh, if I, if I post anything controversial, I'll lose 2,000 followers in, in a day. Like, it's, it's very fickle now. People are quick to— they're quicker to unfollow than they are to follow. And the people that follow you don't even see your posts anymore. So the, you know, I, I was growing back then, but I changed the account from Skinny mini me, XOXO, to stay sharp, be strong, because my whole mindset around health and wellness and fitness had changed. And I'm like, I don't want to represent this skinny mini me now that people were looking up to me. And so with that, I left a lot of the photos up of myself. But then it's just, as the account's grown, and then I have publishers and people, and so there's just been different voices along the way.

Uh huh.

My own voice being like, oh, it needs to be more expert-like. So then I took these posts down and I still have a lot of them. I've screenshotted them and I have them in my archives on my computer. But I started Instagram never as a place to inspire other people. I used it as my own photo diary so that daily I was posting my meals to keep me accountable to eating well during my eating disorders. I posted girls that had healthy fit. I would post a girl like you, a woman like you. You were my fitspo in 2013 that I would post of just ripped and sexy and vibrant and smiling because I was anything but that. And so people followed and it was my own photo diary. And then just as it grew, people started asking me questions, wanting advice. I started my website, my blog. I did inspiring interviews with just my followers and sharing their stories and hardships they overcame. And I never had anyone famous on the inspiring interviews. It was just like the average Joe of whatever, so many different beautiful and challenging stories. And I love just being able to share people's stories, share my own. We connect through that. And so through long-winded answer to your question, though, of how did I Find community. And it was honestly in 2013 through talking to people, them asking questions. And now it's changed, it's morphed. And as my account gets bigger, it is harder to be totally vulnerable because should I keep that expert nature? Like, the exercises that I teach, they work, they do. But I'm human. I have that. So it's a fine balance. But I still like—

Nikki, I feel you on that so much. I do. I do. you get to a place where, like, yeah, I started being called, like, the queen of resilience, the expert on resilience and this and that. And then it's like—

And you're like, I just had a bad day. I just want to tell you about it.

But I just had the crappiest day and I feel like staying in bed and binging on Netflix. Totally all human. You know what I mean? And my, my page has really, you know, I started out same, similar, like, sharing my scars and about complex regional pain syndrome, the nerve disease I was diagnosed with. And I started connecting with a community of people who were diagnosed with some horrible things. And then were you on Clubhouse when Clubhouse came around?

I wouldn't say when it came, but during the pandemic. Yeah, I was. I mean, or maybe that's when it was, but yeah, I was on it.

During, yeah, I was like, when it came out that during the pandemic and on Clubhouse, and I even had 2 rooms, like I had my own club and I had 2 rooms, one for, it was like a support group for complex regional pain syndrome and another room that was for entrepreneurial, like mostly women, but entrepreneurs. And I noticed like, as amazing as it was for the CRPS community to come together.

Mm-hmm.

It was hard and it was heavy and it was talking about pain and it, it was just hard. Yeah. And I would leave the entrepreneurial journey room and just be like, oh, jazz.

Yeah.

And I was like, yeah, that's when things started to shift for me. And it's like, look, yeah, I live with this nerve disease, but when I start to talk about it, it brings me down.

Yeah.

I feel the pain more. I'll do the things that feel the feelings, but I want to focus on people who are ready to go, like the trailblazers, the go-getters. And so I noticed then it was like, oh, yeah, I really— so I noticed the transition in kind of what I talked about into what I talk about now. And so it's nice to know that you've done the same and you've kind of transitioned, and now you have got Oh my gosh, you are freaking famous. Like, you've got millions of followers.

No, I have, I have like 550,000, which has been like the slowest crawl. Like, honestly.

Well, I thought you had millions.

No, I'm—

I think it's millions across all your platforms because I don't know, like, I look at people like Jay Shetty, Lewis Howes, Tony Robbins, that they have these huge accounts and, you know, they have a team of people helping.

Oh, they don't, they don't never, they never post. Jay Shetty, I don't think writes his own captions. He just posts lots of videos.

Like Jay Shetty to me, I mean, I do think he has some hand in it just because there was one time when I hired a new assistant like 2 years ago and I was like, oh, I'm going to have some help. And I was like, yeah, can you help me just maybe create an inspirational quote and caption? So this is my very first time trusting someone with my Instagram. She puts up a quote in a post saying that it's the quotes from Jay Shetty. Jay messaged me and he calls me Amber. And he was like, hey Amber, I just wanted to let you know that that's not my quote. That's from a doctor that I interviewed. So can you please take it down? Now it already had thousands of likes. It had over 300 comments. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm mortified. So ever since then, I'm like, okay, gotta check and double check.

Oh yeah, of course.

But I was just like, I just assumed that My assistant at that time had fact-checked and double-checked that that was his quote.

But yeah, you know, but again, like, we're all human. The amount of mistakes that I make in business, like, I think I'm— I make mistakes. I'm successful in business because I fail all the time. And instead of lying on the floor and beating myself up, which I might do for a day, I then get up and I'm like, okay, that idea didn't work. How do we pivot? What do we do now? And so do I have pity parties for myself on occasion? Sure. Human again. But I have the tools and I teach the tools on how to get out of the pity party and how to actually change your life so that you don't stay stuck in the story of you're a failure, you're this, you're that. And so it took everything I've been through to get to this place. And I wake up every day and I'm like, damn, I kind of like myself a lot. But the amazing part is, for— so I'm 35 now. For the 30 years of my life, or let's say not 30, but like a good 15 years of my eating disorder journey, I woke up and I hated myself every day. So to wake up and be like, it's a beautiful day, how exciting. And sure, do I wake up in a bad, crunchy mood sometimes? But I've literally changed my brain. Like, when we talk about neuroscience and neurofeedback and the subconscious mind. Like, I have retrained my brain and trained it so that I have an entirely different view of the world today than I did a few years ago. And that's the cool thing, is the work works if you're willing to put the work in.

Oh, yeah. I mean, oh, my gosh, I love your attitude. I love your outlook on life, and I love your authenticity. And, yeah, everything that I've been through, even the mistakes that I've made in business or You know, like something as silly as misquoting somebody on Instagram. I have taken that. I'm like, okay, well, this is what I've learned from it, and this is what I can do differently in the future. What would you suggest to somebody who's like, yeah, all this sounds great, but I am just feeling stuck. I cannot get moving. I'm not motivated. I don't know how to get out of this. Part of my life where I am just feeling miserable and I don't want to move.

Yeah, I get that. Because I think, Amberly, both you and I, we've been there, and it's a tough place to be in. So I really resonate and have empathy for anyone feeling that way. I would say there's going to be 3 things. Well, there's a multitude of things, but I'll give a few answers. One, you have to start getting outside, whether it's walking in nature. And I'm not saying going to the gym and beating yourself up on a treadmill. Getting outside, fresh air literally changes your brain, changes the chemicals in your brain. You start to release dopamine. That's the feel-good chemical. Calling a friend. So when we, when we feel down and out, what's the very first thing that we do? We isolate and we stop talking to people. And so it's reaching out to a friend and possibly maybe asking for help or just saying, you know, hey, I'm like, my husband today, I messaged him, you know, hey babe, how's your day going? And he was like, angry. I'm like, okay. Okay, would you like to stay in this mood? Because if so, I'll let you be in your mood. Or do you want to come out of it? He's like, no, I want to come out of it. I'm like, okay, what would help you to come out of it? He said, a hug when I get home. Very like, great. There is a big giant hug. When he came in, I call it an octopus hug where I wrap every kind of finger and hand and arm and leg around him. It took him asking for help, right? Asking for what he needed in that moment. And you might not know what you need, but human touch connection. The biggest difference between wellness and illness is there's an I in illness because when we start to get into the mindset of you know I'm broken, I'm depressed, I'm in despair, I can't fix myself, I'm hopeless. It's I, I, I, I, I, I. So wellness when we talk about What's wellness? It's community, it's connection. It's not just the food you eat, the exercise you do, but the number one way to change your life, to change your health, is to start getting in communities. And that can start with calling a friend or reaching out to someone on Instagram. Like, the amount of support I've gotten from, you know, Insta friends has been amazing. So I would say those 2 things. One, one really big one that helped me was starting to count colors at meals. So instead of it being, instead of counting macros or just eating whatever you want, because the food you eat will literally determine how you feel. And if you're feeling depressed, you need to eat things that will change that immediately. That's why my detox works so well, so quickly. But I always say count colors, not calories, because if you do nothing else but start to add in colors, 3 colors at every meal, You will feel more energetic. You will feel more optimistic about life. Your skin will clear up. You'll have more energy. You'll sleep better. And when you start sleeping better, your brain starts functioning better. And so through all of these different— there's so many tools, but it's like sleep is the number one most important thing to our health, and it's the most under-talked-about thing in health. You got to start sleeping more. You have to be putting the right food in your body. Don't overcomplicate it. Count colors. That's it. Connecting with friends, with people, going outside. Those are incredibly simple things. And the challenge that I've seen with the human mind is people will say, right, but that won't make a difference because we've been taught it does. But the mind— and we think that it needs to be this big, grandiose step to make a change, and it's not. It's the small things you do daily. That make the big changes in life.

Oh my goodness. Yes. And you know, I, I love that so much and it's such a great reminder. And sometimes, even though we know, like, we need to sleep, we need to eat well, we need to hydrate, we need to move our body, we need to get in nature, we need to be reminded of that. And from somebody who is like, hey, I've struggled and this is what helps me. And I always have to remind myself. Um, there's a saying, uh, so I got sober in 2016 and it's called HALT. Never get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. And I've had to get back to basics to reminding myself. I mean, actually today I've been in my office since 6 this morning and I had a quick window, a break this afternoon before we started recording. And I was like, okay, I need to go out in nature, get some sun a little bit, make sure I get something to eat.

Mm-hmm.

Although it wasn't the healthiest. I, I try. I've had to go back to like food prepping since I've moved back to Texas. In California, it was so easy to get stuff. Like I'd go to Erewhon Market or Gelson's or something. And, but now I'm like, I got to get back to food prepping. Yeah.

But it's, you know, I think the other thing to remember on that is we are going to have different seasons in our life. So just as we have actual seasons outside, and I live in Miami, and sure, we don't have as many seasons, we still have different fruits and vegetables that grow at different times. The weather does change. That's going to be the same in your life. So you might be in a season where now it's the reminder and it's the reconnection to say, oh, okay, great, but it's just I'm in a different season. It's back to meal prepping. I'm in a season with my business where I've never— honestly, in the beginning of the year, I said to the universe, I really want to be busy this year. I want to keep building. Be careful what you wish for. I've never been so busy. And I genuinely don't have time/energy. And I'm not using that as an excuse. I'm saying I have to prioritize. So I'm ordering more food than I have. It's still healthy, but This is a season that I'm in where I'm aware I'm doing less exercise than I would normally, but I also know that the season is not going to last forever. And so it's when we can get into that mindset as well, it's like, all right, I'm in a season of depression. You are not depressed, you are in a season of it. So that we don't— we don't attach.

That helps a lot to think about that. That really helps a lot. I've talked to my husband about, this is a season, honey. This is a season of things being very eventful. He's like, you've been in a season of things being eventful since you wrote your book. It's been nonstop. When is it going to slow down? And I'm like, and I thought things would kind of slow down, like when we moved to Texas. And I think it just got busier.

Busier.

Yeah. Yeah. Like more eventful. I've got more speaking events, which I'm grateful for. It's everything I already asked for, but it's also scary. I'm going to sit here and admit I am scared to death. I'm like, oh my God, this is what I have asked for, what I've prayed for. And now it's here. And I have all these speaking events lined up. And I'm like, are you sure? Like, I get imposter syndrome.

Like, yeah.

Surely they don't really want me to go speak at that event. Can they really? Is that true? And so I think it helps again with what you said, getting in community, connecting with other people who are working on building their businesses. It helps so much. One last question. What would you suggest to do for somebody who needs to build, they want to start Doing more, but they just want to work on their confidence. How would you suggest they build their confidence?

To build your confidence, you have to do the things that you don't want to do. You have to do the things that scare you. And the reason that people don't like that answer is because it's like, right, but isn't there like an easy way? No, there is no easy way. But I'm not saying that you need to go, you know, jump off a cliff, bungee jump, or things like that. I'm saying the very things that scare you, like maybe it's reaching out to someone when you need help. That's what builds confidence, doing the things that scare us. And you start small, right? It's not these, like, again, big, big grandiose things. But on the other side of fear is everything you've ever wanted. And the only way to get there is through it.

And what does resilience mean to you? What is the definition of resilience to you?

I would say resilience is being okay not knowing the path and being all right when things don't go your way and shifting and moving and persevering and taking breaks too, right? Like, we all have to take breaks at time, but the resilience is like, for me, I have no idea where my career is going.

I—

if you asked me 10 years ago, I had no idea that I'd be here today. And so Resilience is just trusting the unknown and putting one step in front of the other blindly with like, I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow, but I hope it's good and I'm gonna believe it's good. And, and even if it's not, I'm gonna do the same thing the next day and try again. I would say that's my answer.

Oh, I love that. You are amazing.

Thank you.

You are so amazing. What is the best way? I want people to be able to listen to your podcast, and I'm excited. I'm going to be on your podcast. I want people to be able to grab your detox information, your book, the book, both books. And also, you've got several coaching programs, whether they want to work solely with one-on-one or through a program. And I really want people to be able to connect with you. So I'll put all this information in the show notes. But what is the best way for people? To connect with you?

Instagram or my website. A lot of information's on both. There's a contact form, but also just on Instagram, like we've talked about, I love connecting with people. I manage everything. I write back to every single comment or DM that comes in, and I love when people say hi, especially if it, you know, came from another podcast. So definitely just say hi, do you— right, do the thing that scares you to reach out and say hi. Like, I always get people that'll message me And be like, oh, I saw you at this restaurant or the street. And I'm like, why didn't you come say hi? And they're like, oh, I don't know. Like, I didn't want to bother you. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, guys, come on. Like, come say hi. But I get it. You know, we get afraid. But that's what I'm saying is doing the thing that scares you in whatever that means to you in your life. So for some, that might be reaching out, but do it, please.

Yeah, I love that. And, you know, I remember the first time somebody came over to me at a restaurant and said, You're Amberly Lago. I follow you on Instagram. And I'm like, you do? Oh, my gosh.

I know. It's like we're almost more nervous and excited than the person coming up.

Oh, yeah. That, like, made my day. I was like, really?

Take a photo? Yeah. Same.

Like, seriously? Thank you. Yeah. Hello. So, yes, Nikki Sharp. And is it nickisharp.com?

Yeah. And you can Google. It's just, I'm pretty— with my name, it's pretty easy to find, even if you—

Yeah, you are easy to find. Like, as soon as you Google you, like, everything pops up. Your podcast.

Yeah.

Your website's beautiful, by the way, too. Thank you.

As is yours. I was getting very inspired. I'm like, next redesign, I'm taking your model.

Oh my gosh. Thank you. And of course, I'm like, in the middle of redesigning mine. So.

Isn't that always how it is?

Just working it all out. Oh my gosh, you're amazing. Thank you so much for being on the show. Uh, y'all take a screenshot of this and tag me @AmberlyLagoMotivation and Nikki Sharp on Instagram. I love when I see that. I always reshare it when I see it on my story. So let's just spread some joy and happiness and grit and grace and resilience. Nikki, thank you for being here.

Thank you.

Thank you. And hey, y'all, thank you for so much for tuning in, and we'll see you next week.