Exploring the Intricacies of Relationships with Arielle Ford

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Thank y'all for tuning in to True Grit and Grace. I'm Amberly Lago, and I have a Special guest today that I have been so excited to share with you. I have been in the middle of her book, and I haven't been able to put it down. I have Ariel Ford with us today. She is a bestselling author of several books, a speaker, and a celebrated love and relationship expert on a mission to help people find love, keep love, and most importantly, be love. And if you are listening to this and not, and you don't see it on YouTube right now, she even has a beautiful necklace on that says. Love. I can't wait to talk about her new book and share her experience and knowledge with you. So, Arielle, thank you for being here and welcome to the show.

Thanks, Amberly. I'm very excited to get to know you.

Oh, well, I am so grateful that, you know, one of my best friends, Catherine Gordon and John Gordon, introduced me to you, who you've known for years and years. And she said, you have got to meet Arielle. She is amazing. And I know when she tells me I need to meet somebody that I really need to meet them. And then I started digging into your book. And I have to say, I want to get into like how you got into writing books and stuff like that. But I just, I've been so excited to talk about your book. It's called Love Thief. And from the very first line of your book, that it, it says, my mother was right. And I won't give away your whole book. But It captured me the first chapter. And I just got goosebumps because I woke up out of a coma and my mother was standing there. And one of my first thoughts was, oh no, this must be serious if my mom is here because she never takes off work. And in your book, the character is saying, oh no, my mom doesn't have lipstick on and she never leaves the house without lipstick. This must be serious. And she kept having this thought. My mother was right, and I've got goosebumps again.

It was so goosebumps.

I mean, it's so powerful because I related so much, and then comes in the narcissist. So first of all, before we get too much into the book, and I love your beautiful cover, by the way, and I can't wait to get the the actual hardcover, like the actual book in my hands. Is your book going to be on Audible?

It isn't yet because when I produce it as an audio. It's not going to be me reading the book. It's going to be a full cast audio. So every character will have his or her own voice. There'll be a soundtrack and there'll be sound effects. And right now there's a writers' strike going on and SAG is about to strike any minute. So I can't even start recording it yet. So there will be an audio, but not anytime soon.

Well, I cannot wait for the Audible version. I looked actually for it because I was so addicted to your book. I was like, I need to listen to it too while I'm at the gym or in the car. And you know, I totally get that because I finished recording my Audible book the day before the studios and everything shut down because of COVID But I can't wait to— and yours is going to be a TV series too, right?

It's going to be a limited edition streaming series. But of course, with all these strikes going on, who knows when it's going to happen. But the producer fell in love with early pages of the book. And, and she says that it's Eat, Pray, Love meets Dirty John.

I love it.

That's exactly what it is. It's a romantic spiritual thriller with a very juicy revenge subplot and a happy surprise ending.

Oh, well, I can't wait to get to the end. I haven't got to the end yet, but I wanted to ask you, okay, because I think most of us have had narcissists in our life and Um, when you bring in the narcissist in your book, I'm like, oh my gosh, that is so my ex-husband. And how do you know so much about narcissism? And because it's like, oh my gosh.

Here's what happened. I have 3 girlfriends, all of whom are beautiful, successful, super smart, were single for a long time, thought they met the man of their dreams. And were love bombed by him. You know, everything they ever wanted to hear, they were hearing. They were swept away. Everything moved really fast. And they ended up getting their hearts broken and their dreams crushed and their money stolen. And these are—

You could be talking about me right now. I mean, about my—

Crazy thing. All my early readers called me up and whispered to me, you know, you wrote that book for me. I can't tell you how many women believe I wrote that book just for them. So I knew of this Evil monster because so many of the people closest to me had suffered it, and it wasn't till after I finished writing the book that a memory surfaced from 40 years ago of a relationship I had like that. I had completely suppressed it. I thought, okay, I grieved it. I'm over it. I forgot about it because I've been married for so long now. I totally forgot till the book was over. It's like, oh. No wonder I could access that roller coaster of emotions from the deepest, darkest grief and depression from betrayal to the rage and the anger and the murderous thoughts that my protagonist Holly has after it happens to her. So it was fun to write, especially the parts that, you know, most people say, well, you're so spiritual, you're known for being spiritual. How could you write so much about, you know, these murderous thoughts and revenge. And it's like, it's a part of life, right? You know, I can be, I can be all of those things. And I am. We all are. But my sister, the late Debbie Ford, used to teach about the light side and the dark side. She wrote The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. She was on Oprah many, many times with that book. So, so this book really encompasses the depth and breadth of emotions. We go through, particularly when we've been betrayed.

Oh yeah. I mean, you, when you were describing that, it, you could have been describing the whole situation that, and when I was in a narcissistic relationship, this, that happened to me. I was focused on my career and he came in and swept me off my feet and boy, was he charming. And I remember seeing glimpses of How he really was, and I'm like, gosh, that's really mean. But he doesn't treat me that way, and ended up betraying me, cheated on me, stole all my money. It was when he raised a hand to me that I was like, oh no, we're not gonna. I'm not gonna raise a daughter thinking that this is okay. But anyway, it so I know that you've written this book for a lot of women, and there are. So many women that are are kind and good, and when something like this happens, those thoughts come in.

And the thing you need to understand is you did nothing wrong. You were played by a master. These men are sociopaths. They're attractive. They're charming. They know exactly what to say. They know what you want to hear. They're chameleons. And even when you confront them, you could go right up to their face and say, "You lied to me about such and such," and they'll they'll agree. With you, yes. And the reason that I did it is because of blah blah blah. Like they don't always you know do the Donald Trump think oh no I didn't do that. They're masters at saying well would you like to hear my side of the story? They're just masters at tweaking everything so that you feel okay again about being with them. And it's only in retrospect where you see all the red flags were always there. But by then you were a drug addict. And when I say you were a drug addict. It's that the whole state of being in love is nature's greatest drug high. It's your brain on drugs. It's on dopamine and oxytocin and adrenaline, and you're hooked, especially if you've had sex with them. You are a drug addict. In fact, I know this one professor at an Ivy League university who is a love anthropologist, and she once told me that overcoming a broken heart Is harder than overcoming a cocaine addiction. That's how much of an addict you become when you're involved with a narcissist, because you spend the first couple of months thinking, "Oh my God! I've waited my whole life for this. My prince has come. Nobody's ever paid attention to me like this. Nobody's ever gotten me like this," and everything's wonderful. And then one day, who they really are shows up. And, and you know, the good guy's still in there. So you're fighting for your life to get another taste of the drug. You want him back, and he comes in and out, you know, so some days are great. And then other days the monsters arrived. So, you know, the— I didn't set out to write that kind of book. In fact, I didn't even set out to write a novel. What happened was, I had written 11 nonfiction books. And never in my life did I have the conscious thought, oh, I should write a novel someday. It never happened. But one day, this book started to appear in my head like a, like a movie. And the first line came to me, my mother was right. And I just like swooned. Oh my God, what an opening line. Because pretty much everyone I knew who had been with a narcissist had been warned either by their mother or a close friend.

Mm-hmm.

Somebody had said, You're in trouble, and you didn't want it.

Oh, everyone! When I got out of the relationship, every single friend, every single family member, including his family members, were like, "We never understood why you were with him." We told you so. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Right. And you know, so you've got it. You know, once you you escape, and it is an escape to get away from them, you just have to forgive yourself because you were prey. You were a target. There's no way if you were a, a very ordinary, not smart, not attractive person, they would've never gone after you. So if you've had this relationship, it's just sort of a sick affirmation that you're hot because—

Well, there's always an upside. Always a positive thing.

Right? This, I mean, this, this generally doesn't happen To to people who are you know unattractive and not doing well in their life because they they want arm candy, right? You're a reflection. Their narcissism is you're a reflection of them. But you know the good news is you will recover. You will ultimately learn from it. There is an amazing potential soulmate life partner out there who's looking for you. So you can read my other books to figure out how to manifest that. And the book is really fun. It's an entertaining book. My heroine is, is really sassy and snarky and funny. And she, she's not a spiritual girl. She's not a seeker. In fact, she's a reaction to her mother. Her mother's a New Age baby boomer, go to Esther Hicks cruises, reads Deepak, Marianne, and Wayne. And she's a reaction to that. She doesn't believe in any of this stuff. And yet she ends up in Rishikesh, India to go to cooking school and starts having all these healing experiences and mystical experiences that change her life.

Well, I want to get to talk about the India trip. It's, I don't know why, but I am so called and so want to have this longing to go to India. I always have. In fact, my graphics designer team, I've worked with them for over 3 years now and they're in India. And his daughters were gonna come stay with me, but I wanna go out there and stay with them sometime.

And, and I actually have the perfect trip for you that's coming up in October. I'll email you the details on it. I have 2 really good friends that are masters at taking people to India, and they're doing a, a women-only spiritual India tour in October.

I'm so glad I told you that.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll send you the link to that.

Okay. Awesome. Thank you.

So when, how long ago did you go on your first trip to India? And My, my first trip was in December of 1997. I worked with Deepak Chopra for a dozen years doing his PR and marketing, and he took me for his daughter's wedding in New Delhi. And that was my first visit, and it was love at first sight, love at first smell, love at first everything.

Really?

You know how some people think Disneyland's the happiest place on earth? I hate Disneyland. For me, it's—

I do too.

Yeah. I just hate everything about it. It's just so manufactured. India is my Disneyland because everything you see, smell, hear, taste, touch doesn't look like anything we know in this country. And it's just colorful and magical. And, you know, I remember I was walking— I was walking around a mountain under a full moon with Deepak in the sacred ceremony on another trip. And he turned to me and he said, in India, spirit is not hard to find. It's impossible to avoid, and that's what's true about India.

I love that. Oh wow! Well, I I I just I can't. I really want to go. I'm so called to go there, and and then when you started well, this is the part that I love. Like you are so powerful. Also, y'all listening. Ariel is like. She's written all these books. She is so connected with amazing people. I was looking at all of the praise for your book, all the people that have written praise for your book, and I was blown away. Actually, one of my friends, Coot Black, wrote some—

Oh, Coot Blackson. Yeah, he's actually coming to visit us on Monday.

Oh, really?

I love him.

But you have some amazing praise for your book. And then when you started to write your book, you thought, I want to go to India. I'm going to have to manifest this. And you thought, oh, this is crap. There's no way. How can I manifest a trip to India? And it happened.

It did. It did. It happened in 48 hours because I didn't want to write—

48 hours?

Yes. I didn't want to write a novel. And, and the movie wouldn't go away. I was being stalked by this book. And so I sat down and I talked to God and I said, listen, God, If I'm really supposed to write this book, I'm gonna manifest a business class ticket to India, which is about $7,000. And literally, 2 days later, I had the ticket in my hand. Wow.

If that's not divine timing—

But it gets crazier. When I got to Rishikesh to start my research, everything I'd seen in the movie in my head, I tripped over. I, I was seeing the people, the bookstore, All the stuff I needed to do, the, you know, all of it was first it was in my head and then I was walking around going, oh my God, there it is. And I have pictures and video of all of it. It's like the lookbook. So when we get around to making the film, I actually know where we're going to shoot.

That is amazing. So you're actually going to go to India to do a lot of that. That is amazing. You say That the Beatles song All You Need Is Love is a big lie. What do you mean by that?

So it's a great song. All You Need Is Love. It's this—

it is a good— it's catchy. I always liked it.

But it's not true, especially in romantic relationships. Love is not enough. There are plenty of people who love their partner, and their partner is, you know, a deadbeat, or they're financially irresponsible, or they're an addict, or they have 2 other girlfriends, and it doesn't mean you don't love them. Love is not enough, and the research has shown that what you need to have a long-term, happy, healthy, committed relationship is connection, compatibility, clear communication, which thank God can be learned, chemistry, although chemistry is the least important factor, but the single most important factor is a shared vision for the future. We both want children. We both want to live near the beach, or we hate the beach. We both want to live in the mountains. You know, we both want to live under the same roof 24/7 and work from home, or we only want to see each other 3 days a week and live separately. In this day and age, you can design your relationship any way you want, but you have to have this overarching umbrella shared vision for it. So it doesn't mean you do everything together. You don't need to. You just need to be on the same page about how much time you spend together. You know, some people want to be together all the time. Other people are happy to be together from, you know, dinner till going to sleep. And none of it's right or wrong. None of it. It's not that people who live together do any better. Like, I'll tell you a quick story. My stepmother called me about a year after my dad died. And she said to me, Okay, I've been divorced once. I'm now a widow, but I'm just—I'm only 55, and I want another relationship. But I know what I want. Do you think I could get it? I said, "Well, what do you want?" She said, "I want to be with somebody that I truly get along with. We see each other on Tuesday nights and on weekends, and then we go to Israel for two weeks every year on vacation. That's what I want." And for the last 25 years. That's the relationship she's had. And they're— they don't, they don't commingle funds. They each have adult children. They're not in charge. They're not each other's in case of emergency contact. But they're, they're deeply loving and friendly with each other and have this shared vision of, you know, being together, but not always together.

Oh, I think that's amazing. And you know what, I know that I finally got the man of my dreams. My husband is It is amazing. I mean, look, we're not per— nothing's perfect, but I got the man of my dreams. He's an amazing husband and father. And it wasn't until I got really clear on what was important to me, on my values, on what I really wanted. And so what do you think, being this relationship expert, if there's somebody out there that's really looking for, like, they're like, I am ready to to have a partner or to get married or just have a great relationship. What would you say to them that for the first steps for them to find their soulmate?

You really named it. The first step is having total clarity on the values and the heart traits and qualities that your soul is most calling for. You know, because you can make a long list. Oh, he's got to be 6'3, 190 pounds, Dark curly hair, blue eyes, earns quarter of a million dollars a year, and none of that is going to make you happy. You know, you want somebody who's going to be your best friend, your lover, your safe place to land, who is kind, considerate, compassionate, has a high EQ, who knows how to be a partner, who wants to be a partner, who will be devoted to you. You know, as opposed to well. If he doesn't look a certain way and he doesn't dress a certain way and he doesn't earn a certain amount of money. As we all know, money comes and goes.

And so do looks.

Right? Of course. So, so the thing about money is, I would say number one on your list has to be you want a partner who's financially responsible with the money they do have and the money that you have. Right? And I'm also a big fan of prenups. I think they're essential in today's day and age. Everybody's living to be 80, right? So the money conversation needs to come up kind of early. We're all hardworking and we want to share, but we want things to be fair, right? So they say, oh, it's just a setup for divorce. Listen, here's what we know about divorce. We all know that 50% of first marriages end in divorce. What most people don't know, 62% of second marriages and 71% of third marriages end in divorce.

Wow.

Now, why is that? Is it that you picked the wrong person 3 times? Probably not. What it is, is you were the same person all 3 times. So until you learn from the first marriage, how could I be a better partner? How could I pick a better partner? Nothing's gonna change, you know. So all of this stuff's in my book, Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate. I've got all this.

I know, I want to read that one too. Um, and Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Soul too. I want to read all your books. Oh, well, they're all on Amazon.

Yeah, I want to read them all.

But yeah, yeah, I, I definitely learned from, you know, my first marriage. And I remember, you know, one of the Things I knew, I was like, about my husband, I was like, he's the one. Is we were, he took me on a trip. First of all, no other guy really took me on a trip. I was always taking them on a trip. And I was like, he wanted to take me on a trip. And we were just at the river riding jet skis. And I was in the truck and I remember looking back and seeing him and he was cleaning the jet skis, taking care of the jet skis. And I thought, Oh my gosh, here's a man who can take care of himself, who can take care of his nice things, and he's kind to me and he's fun and he's hot. I was like, I think he's the one. And he's, he's been amazing. I mean, he's been with me through 34 surgeries every single day, twice a day at the hospital for 3 and a half months the first time I was at the hospital. And so I learned so much from the mistakes I've made in past relationships.

Yeah, it sounds like it. And, and devotion is such a critical element to a good relationship because we're all going to get sick someday. You know, we want somebody who's going to, you know, call 911 or pick us up and put us in the car and take us to the ER and stay with us and not blame us. There's so much blaming the victim these days. Oh, what thought did you have that caused you to get cancer? What thought did you have that caused you to get diabetes? Or, you know, if you'd been eating better, maybe this wouldn't have happened to you. You know, everybody's so quick to judge and blame. And the truth is, we're very imperfect human beings.

For sure. I know, boy, am I really imperfect. I got a lot. He puts up with a lot. And he always says that he's going to trade me in, that my, my warranty has expired. But we kid around a lot like that. We humor Really helps through hard times in a relationship, for sure. How long have you been married?

Uh, we just had our 25th anniversary, um, last week.

Oh, and how did you get into being a relationship expert?

Well, that was not on my to-do list. What happened was I worked in publishing for a long time as a, um, book publicist and a literary agent and putting marketing courses together. And then did you really? So you did.

You, like, were like, okay, I think that's gonna be a good book. Good book. And then would you teach people how to market them, or would you do—

Oh, yeah. I used to do these big conferences, 21st Century Book Marketing. I don't— I got out of that business in 2005. So I've been out for quite a while. But what, what happened was my sister had 200 of her coaches on a cruise that I went on with her, and she spontaneously said, Hey, Ariel, why don't you come up here and tell everybody how you manifested your soulmate? Because I had deliberately created a process for myself, and I was a first-time bride at 44. And so I got up on stage and spontaneously told this story. And when it was over, 200 people came rushing at me saying, I need that book. I wanna do that. I have to have that book. So I wrote the book, The Soulmate Secret. Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction. And it became an international bestseller, like, overnight. It was crazy. It was in 21 languages and 40 countries. And all of a sudden, I'm getting calls from, you know, Omega Institute and Esalen and, you know, Chopra Center. Oh, come teach here. Come give a— Oh, my goodness. I'm not a workshop leader. And so my career shifted because I was really sort of burnt out doing book publicity. It had gotten harder and harder to do. And then suddenly, I had— there was this demand, you know. So I just sort of stepped into this new role of just sharing what worked for me. And so I manifested my soulmate, and I thought, oh, that was great, job done. Then I got married, and then I discovered very quickly that I had no partnership skills. I was really good at being the boss and running a business, but I had no idea how to be a good partner. So at that point, I put myself on a path I called— I became a student of love, and I began to consciously study with all the world's leading love, marriage, and relationship experts. And then I would try on what I learned, and whatever worked, I would do.

And then, okay, well, you gotta tell us a little bit of what worked. Can you give us a little bit? I mean, I want people to get your books, but what are like a couple of things that you're like, do this, does it work?

There's a couple of things. So the first thing is most women have a belief that the number one thing that men want is sex. And it's not true. They did a study with like 80,000 men. And what they discovered was like 78% of the men said they wanted respect more than anything. Being respected was their number one need and desire.

I could, yeah, I could see that.

Okay. And most women don't know that, and they tend to be really disrespectful on a lot of different levels. The other thing is they like to win and they need to win, and you can set them up to win all the time, but you have to pay attention to them. You know, if you're in the same room with them, but you're on your iPad or your phone and they're talking and you're just nodding your head yes, you're not paying attention. They're losing. Yeah. Yeah. They know you're not paying attention. Yeah. You know? So what you wanna do when your partner, male or female, is talking to you, you put down all your devices, you turn your body to face them, and you listen. And if you, if you're really busy, You know, and you could say, you know what? I want to hear more about that, but I need to get this thing done in the next 10 minutes. Can can I you know can I hook back up with you in 20 minutes? I can hear the rest of your story. So you have to start being really polite, using your manners, treating them the way they want to be treated. Just like you know, just like and oh, the one thing you never want to do ever is roll your eyes. If you roll your eyes when they're talking. That's a sign of contempt. So there's lots— all that stuff's in my book, Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate, on how to do it. Because chances are, even if you think you're on the verge of divorce, chances are you've got a good one and you're just not treating them well, and you don't know how to talk to them to get them to treat you better. Because as Dr. Phil always says— I love this Dr. Phil line— we train people how to treat us.

You know, I had a therapist tell me that once. I went into a therapist because I was having relationship issues. This is years before I got married. And I was like, can you believe that he's done this and he's doing this? And she actually said to me, you teach people how to treat you. And I was like, ooh. And that really stuck with me.

Because they notice how you treat yourself. So if you're always putting yourself down, they're gonna put you down. You know, like, one of the one things you never wanna say to your partner is, oh, I, I, I can't believe how bad I look, or I can't believe I, I need to lose 20 pounds, or it's time for me to go get more Botox. Because anytime you're putting yourself down, you're making them wrong. They aren't winning because they chose you. Wow.

That is such a great way to look at it. I never thought about that before. And I love the reminder of putting your devices away, like paying attention. And, you know, actually my teenage daughter taught me that. And this is a couple of years ago. I have a home office and I walked out into the living room and I was on my phone. She was trying to talk to me and I said, just, just a minute. I said, I really need to. I'm, uh, I really need to finish this email. And she said, well, if you're still working, you need to go back in your office. And I was like, oh, okay, I'll be back. And so I've tried, I really try my best to, when we're at dinner, to put the devices down when she's talking to me or when my husband's talking to me to, to look and not be scrolling or answering an email.

Because if you don't, they'll eventually find somebody who will pay attention to them. I know. I know. You know, because it's There's just nothing happening on your phone that's that important. And part of it is another form of addiction. It's a dopamine addiction.

Yes.

Oh, who texted me back? Oh, what sale just came in? You know, it's fun to do, but you, you know, you really have to pay attention to how much time you spend doing it and then limit yourself. You know, because I sometimes I notice I'm just scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. There's— I, I don't remember anything that I've just seen. None of it was important. You know, it would be better for me just to go for a walk around the block or take an aromatherapy bath than just be, you know, screening Instagram.

Oh, I know it, it is addictive. And I realized actually just yesterday, so my little brother's in prison and I went to see my little brother and you can't take anything in to go see them except for a driver's license. And I didn't know that. And I was like, I won't have my phone for 2 hours. And I was like, Oh, wow. I think I might be addicted to my phone because I was like, where am I going to put my phone? And, and I was texting my assistant, hey, I won't have my phone for 2 hours. My husband, hey, I won't have my phone for 2 hours, you know? And so, yeah, it is important to like set boundaries, set limits for that. Okay. I have a couple more questions. We're running out of time, but just a couple more questions. You have this belief that happiness is the wrong goal for us to have. What do you mean by that?

Okay, so I was a student of happiness for a long time because when I was younger, I suffered with depression a lot. So I decided to study happy people so I could be more like them. And, and I was very successful at it and I became a happy person. But then I discovered something that's the next level above happy, because happy is dependent on people, places, things, and experiences. Oh, I'm happy because I got the new car. Oh, I just wrecked the new car. Now I'm not happy anymore. I'm happy because XYZ happened. Oh, I lost that or it went away. Now I'm not happy anymore. However, in, in Sanskrit, there's a word called santosha. Santosha. S-A-N-T-O-S-H-A. Santosha. And it means utter contentment. And when you're in S-A-N-T-O-S-H-A, I love that.

Santosha. Right? Okay.

So when you're in the state of santosha, it doesn't matter if you're happy or you're not happy. You are content. You are okay with what is. You get to actually be in this state of everything's exactly as it should be, and I'm okay. Now, it doesn't mean you give up your goals or you give up anything. You just don't allow yourself to get swept away by either the high end of happy or the low end of, of sad. And it requires emotional management and emotional maturity. But there's a point at which, you know, like, I, I, I really wanted to dive into this during lockdown because I was so miserable being confined. You know, I was used to—

Where do you live?

I live in La Jolla, California.

Oh, see, I, I was in California. I was in LA, and I feel you. Everything was shut down. Yeah. And you couldn't even go to the beach.

There was— Couldn't do anything.

Couldn't go on a hike.

could do anything, you know? And, and so I kept thinking, well, you know, how can I just be with this? This is out of my control. There's nothing I can do about it. What I can do something about is how am I gonna be with it? You know? So santosha for me is, is the next frontier.

I, I love that. And I think what helps me get into the state of santosha, I love that word. It's the first time I've ever heard it, but I'm gonna research that even more, is I had to get into take radical acceptance, like just go, this is what it is. Um, this is what I can control and this is what I have to let go. And I think that when you can learn to just kind of let go of, well, this is out, then I can find, I can find my peace when, you know, okay, just for instance, the other day my website crashed and I was like, Of course upset. And I didn't realize my husband cared so much about my business and website. But at midnight, I'm trying to go to sleep and he's like, you know, your website's still down. It's still down. He's like, what are you going to do? People can't listen to your podcast. They can't find your book. They can't find your mastermind. Like what? He was freaking out. And I'm like, honey, I know it's crashed, but there is nothing that I can do about it. It's midnight. And I am relaxed going to sleep, but it was like I had to just accept this is what it is. Things happen and this is what I can control. And you know what? It's back up. It's fine now. You know, thank goodness I have a good team that put it back together. Yeah. But I, one of the things that I'm excited about, about your book is how much thought you've put into every aspect. Like everything about your book, from COVID from the way it's written, from all the praise in the book, to one of the things I'm most excited about, and I can't imagine how much time this took to put this together, are the yoga poses. So can you please tell everyone about the yoga poses and how they can access this?

So I created a bonus for anybody who orders the book from the website, thelovebeef.com, and what the bonus is is I asked 8 of the world's top yoga teachers, people like Shawn Corn, to each take an emotion and then do a video on the yoga philosophy around it and the yoga poses to heal it. So there's, there's one on anger, betrayal, heartbreak, uncertainty, physical pain, connecting to the divine. And so these videos are free. And they're spectacular. The one on grief and betrayal is just mind-blowing.

How long are these videos?

They range. Some are 3 minutes, some are a half hour. Wow. You know, but they all offer, you know, a way to get past or into a certain emotion, depending on where you need healing. And I did it because I thought, you know, Holly, my character, was never into yoga. You know, but I kept thinking, you know, she goes through this roller coaster of emotions. What would have helped her? And these are the videos that would have helped her. I mean, she got a lot of help from other places, but yoga— actually, towards the end of the book, she does do a little yoga. And I'm not a yoga person necessarily, but I know how powerful it can be. And I've watched it help so many people. So that's what the bonus is. It's called Healing the Heart Yoga series.

Yeah. And they just go to lovethief.com.

Yep. Order the book and get instant access to the videos.

Oh, that's amazing. And how much you put in, how much you're giving. Um, and I know what it takes to write a book and I'm amazed that you have written something that is so well done. And also before we go, I just have to say that I love all the crystals that you have in the background. I have crystals everywhere. I love crystals.

That's my, that's my love altar back there. So, and I love your angel.

And one more thing I'll tell you, I had a dream about this huge crystal in my dream, dreamed about this. Who dreams? I don't know why I had that dream. The next day I woke up and went into this store. They called me and said, your candles are ready. And I went to pick up the candle and I look right when I walk in the store, big crystal, the same crystal in my dream was right there. And I said, I just had a dream about this crystal. This is so weird. I said, there was this lady with this blonde curly hair that They said no. They said, let me show you who brought this crystal in. They showed me the picture, and this may seem woo woo, but the lady in my dream was the picture that they showed me. Wow. So I have that crystal. It's sitting on my coffee table. So when I sit—

It's meant to be yours.

Yeah. Yeah. Great. I appreciate you being on the show. I'm so excited for everyone to grab your book. And where's the best place for people to kind of follow along your journey? What social media do you Are you on social media?

Yeah, I'm on Instagram. My handle's ArielleFord44, and Arielle is A-R-I-E-L-L-E, ArielleFord44. My website is my name, ArielleFord.com, and I'm pretty easy to find. You know, if you just, uh, go over to my website, you can sign up for my newsletter. It comes out every Tuesday. I've written 678 newsletters so far over the years. So I give out tips on how to find love, keep love, and be love. That's what the newsletter is all about.

Oh, that's amazing. Well, you are incredible. I feel so honored to have had you on the show. You guys go to lovethief.com, grab the book, get your free yoga videos. And Ariel, thank you for being on True Grit and Grace.

Thank you so much.

And you guys take a screenshot if you're listening on your favorite podcast platform, or if you're watching on YouTube, take a screenshot and tag me @AmberlyLagoMotivation. And Ariel at Ariel Ford 44 on Instagram. When I see that, I share it in my story. And please reach out to her and grab that book. I promise you are going to be sucked in. I could not put it down. So thank you for tuning in and we will see you next week.

Bye.