Get More Yes with Erin King

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hey, y'all, thank you so much for tuning in to True Grit and Grace. I have One of my greatest friends here, somebody I really admire and look up to, Miss Erin King. Y'all, she is a— well, actually, she's the world's leading expert, y'all. Digital persuasion expert. The world's leading expert. You gotta check her out on Instagram and see all she shares. She's a 2-time bestselling author, and she's got a new book that I can't wait to talk about coming out in the spring. She helps clients ranging from the Academy Awards to Disney to the United States Navy communicate more compellingly online. And she's got a— she's working with Success Magazine Podcast, the host of On Your Terms with Erin King. She's got her own podcast I had such an honor to be on. I loved your book, Erin. You're kind of a big deal. You are a big deal. Thank you for being here. Thank you so much.

Amberly, thank you so much for having me. Back at you. I have been watching your True Grit and Grace episodes and listening and just the quality of the content that you put out. I mean, the caliber of your guests and just the authenticity of your relationships and how you bring women together. You bring extremely bright thinkers and minds together. And I'm just watching you, cheering you on and trying to keep up, girl. So thank you for that intro.

Oh my gosh. Well, I have 4 pages of questions. I've been waiting for this day to finally get to, to talk with you on the podcast. We've had it planned out and I actually read your book a lot when it first came out. It's amazing. And we just moved to Texas a few months ago and a third of our stuff is still packed cuz we're in a rental house. And I'm like, I could not find your book to hold it up in the camera. But I do wanna talk about like the, you had a pivotal moment that really led you onto the path that you are on now. And you share about that in your book. And I would love for you to give the listeners a little bit of background into kind of where you were, that pivotal point in your career that made you go, wait a minute, I am a freaking big deal and I gotta write a book about it so others know how they can be a big deal too.

Yeah. Oh, Amberly, well, thanks for asking that. The evolution that we're all going through right now in this season is so— it's so profound and so juicy and complex. I mean, so many of us are on the other side of this pandemic. We have so much unrest in the world. We're all drinking from this fire hose of social media.

Mm-hmm.

I think we're all sort of looking in the mirror and saying, gosh, who do I want to be on the other side of all this? You know, who do I want? What is the most vibrant version of me that I can step into and show up and not wait for someday, but to make it happen today? And that is certainly the chapter that my team and I have been on big time. But kind of winding it back to how we got here, you know, when I was growing up, my parents had been married for 40 years. They are my absolute, just, heart. And my dad worked for the same company for 40, for 30 years, sorry, for 30 years. And I remember watching him and he always just seemed really stressed out and he wasn't really living life on his terms. He always seemed like there wasn't enough money, there wasn't enough time, there wasn't enough. It was this sort of a scarcity vibe to our household. And I remember growing up and being like, gosh, I really want to create something extraordinary because I just don't want my life to look like that. Now, my dad lived a great life. I, I love him. He's my best friend. He's amazing. But there's just something to the way he spent his time that didn't appeal to me. So I had my first job out of college. I was 100% commissioned ad sales rep, cold calling out of the Yellow Pages on a landline, pitching printed out PowerPoints to get them on broadcast television. Oh my gosh. They had to write a paper check. Like literally nothing about that makes sense in 2022. Like not one bit of that is relevant anymore. But I mean, I was rejected 50 times a day, every day, 5 days a week for 4 straight years. And it was the best education I've ever had is the world saying no over and over again. It really helped me build my grit. You know, not grace as much, but grit for sure.

But you know what, Erin? That's so important because I think for me, being in the dance industry for years and getting rejection. And I mean, constantly there was audition after audition. And sometimes they would just look at you and say no. I mean, it was— and I kind of wished they would do that before you had to dance. And then they're like, oh, no, you're too tall. I'm like, why didn't you tell me that when I first walked in the door? You know? But it was rejection and rejection that it did help. It does help you build grit and character.

Oh my God, I would— looking back then, it was the most stressed out I ever was. Because my dream was to own my own business, was to be my own life by design. I wanted that freedom. And I knew I had to get experience first before I could do that. So I was biding my time. It was a painful time. And I'll never forget, it was at one point I was up for a promotion against this guy named James. And I had better sales numbers, but James played golf with the boys club. And so I was so overconfident. I thought for sure it was mine. Well, of course, James got the promotion. And in that moment, I just fully, I felt like it was more risky to have someone else define what my path was going to look like than to even start my own. So I Jerry Maguire'd, full dramatic exit, like I'm out of here. Who's coming with me? And of course, no one is coming with me because I'm 25 and I'm an idiot. So I jumped and I started my very first company, Jump Digital Media. Within 18 months, we were in $70,000 of credit card debt. I was getting cash advances on my personal credit card to pay my 3 employees who had kids. It was a disaster. So I had to shut it down, go back.

How long did you do that? How long did you do that before you were like, okay, this— I gotta make— I gotta like tourniquet the— this, this is not working? How long did you let that money bleed out before you were like, okay, this is just not working?

It was about 18 months. And it was when I ran out of credit card space. Oh, okay. So I got rejected for like, you know, whatever, the 6th or 7th, whatever. And I was like, okay, this isn't sustainable. But I was 25. I didn't know what I was doing. I don't come from an entrepreneurial family. I come from a family that definitely worships at the altar of corporate. My brother works for Google. My sister works for The Wire. Like when we're home at Christmas, my family is like, oh, I can explain. I can explain. We got the doctor, we got the lawyer. And then everyone's like, And Erin kind of like writes books and runs around and we're not really sure, right? So, and it's always kind of hurtful because it's, it's just, I'm the black sheep, you know, I've taken the road less traveled. And for anyone listening who feels like that, you know, it can be a very, uh, it can be a very daunting space to exist in, in your family structure because you don't have that support. And you can't look around for for the people that are really like cheering for you in the way that you would like. And so you have to find a new source of that energy. You have to tap into not an external space, but an internal place. And we can talk more about that in a second. I went back to work. I ran digital marketing for a company called auction.com, which is like an eBay for real estate, dug out of my debt, and I saved 3 months of salary. Once I was debt-free and had 3 months of salary, I said, I'm gonna try this. Again. So this time I raised capital from a bunch of Newport Beach alpha dudes, like tan, CrossFit, you know, Kanye West, Maserati, like these very alpha males in Newport Beach. And I basically pitched them and they backed me with 7 figures of capital to start a tampon delivery service called PMS.com. Where I was literally holding a tampon up at the head of a boardroom with these 15 guys, and they all looked so nauseous that I'm pretty sure they only backed me just to get me out of the room because I was so uncomfortable.

But I love that story. I love the story and how you wrote it in the book is amazing.

Thank you. Well, it was, it was a moment where, you know, growing up in my family, like I said, I remember like looking around at these guys and they're all looking at me like, this is crazy. And I almost ran straight out of the room. I mean, I was sweating. I did not belong there. I had no business there. I was 27 years old and I already had a failed business. I had just gotten back on my feet financially, but I had that dream. I had that deep desire in my heart to chase down something bigger. And I'll never forget, one of the guys grabbed the tampon and started playing hot potato and throwing it across each other like kids in the schoolyard. And I sat there and I'm like, you know, these guys are very comfortable in their skin. They're not nervous. They're not sweating bullets. But I have every right to be here just as much as they do. And I've done more work to be here. And it was just one of those moments where I grabbed the tampon and I'm like, I'm gonna meet them where they are. So I made it my microphone and my pointer. So I met them where they were and started talking into the tampon and using it as— so they all started leaning forward because instead of trying to make them feel a way they didn't feel, I tried to meet them where they were. And it worked. worked. And it was definitely a delusional level of confidence in myself of that moment of like, I've worked so hard to be here. Why not me? And I'm convinced that one little switch in my heart was all the difference of walking out of that boardroom with a term sheet versus walking out of that boardroom and giving up on my dreams. So starting PMS.com, you know, we were featured in Forbes. We, I mean, I learned so much about FDA shipping policies. I just Googled my face off every day. Like, how do we do this? Right? So 18 months after— 18 months seems to be like my sweet spot of trying these ventures because 18 months after PMS.com, we were approached by a group of investors from Asia who, I guess PMS stands for something else in Asia and they wanted the 3-letter URL. So they offered us a ridiculous amount of money for the URL that was worth so much more than how we were even tracking with the business. And so all the investors were like, let's sell the URL. So again, it went back down in flames. I didn't really make any money off the business. Again, so I wasn't in debt this time, but I broke even. But again, you're like, what am I doing? All this work and all this effort and I can't get there. And there for me was looking in the mirror and feeling like a success.

Oh.

Not feeling like I was faking it until I made it. Not feeling like I'm pretending. Not feeling like, you know, I have to go with this bravado, but I wanted to genuinely feel like I had made it. And for me, I had a very clear idea of what it was going to feel like. So—

So what was that feeling? That— what did it feel like? And how did you make that shift in the mirror? Because I know there's a lot of people— I mean, I have felt like an imposter sometimes when I'm doing something really big and scary, and I just always go, okay, wait, how can I add value? And I take it off of me and I put it on who I'm, you know, there to be of service to. But that's something different than looking in your— in the mirror and going, I— and feeling, really owning that you are a success. How did you do that?

Yeah. So for me, it was 2 things. One, I had to get away from this pretend Everest summit moment of you make it and you feel like a success and you've arrived at Success Mountain, and then you just sit there and live on top of the mountain of best life. Like, It's not, that's not how it is, right? So I had to reframe it from instead of fighting for this space of I'm gonna get there, it became more of how can I infuse more everyday enthusiasm around the effort? And that reframing of like the everyday, the small win, the what was, and a big thing for me was I used to start off every single morning and I was a big morning person. I still am, but you know, the goals and the routine and then that. And the one thing that I added in at that point was my pillow at night. When I'd lay my head down, I just had to think of one thing that felt like progress, that felt like a small step forward, and just take a minute, no matter how tired, how stressed, how overwhelmed I felt, and just try to find that little flicker, that feeling of good job you for that little moment. So I reframed that. That was the first thing. The second thing was that I had to find a new source of encouragement that was not looking to my family and, and also not totally relying on yourself because we can only power ourselves so much.

Mm-hmm.

And then you just run out of gas. So I found this source of, of inspiration that I use to this day every single time I feel like I can't do this, like I cannot do this. And I call it my fist bump folder. And my fist bump folder is anyone who I've ever served— client, someone that reported to me, someone that I hired, someone that admires me the way I admire them. Whenever they would send me like a text— like you, Amberly, you're always so good about, about seeing people and recognizing them. And even this, this girls group that you put together of powerhouse women, you know, you go around the table and you take the moment to be like, call out her win and honor her moment. And, and, oh, do you know that so-and-so is a superpower of doing this? Like, you're really— one of your strengths is making sure people feel super seen and significant, and I love that about you. And so we need that. And so, but we can't always jump on a call with 8 powerhouse women. Like, it takes us, you know, weeks to just get organized to get on one call. So for me, I started just taking really intentional screenshots of the email or the text. Or when you said to me earlier, before we started recording this podcast, you're like, oh my gosh, Erin, I just, I love, you know, your energy and what you're doing. Well, I took a mental note of that, and you better believe when we finish recording this, I'm putting that in my fist bump folder. Because when I start to run low and I don't have a source to plug into, I open that folder and I look at what everyone else around me sees in me when I can't see it in myself. Because we believe them more. They're credible. They, they, they can see what we can't. So I open that folder, I am ashamed to admit, probably every 2 to 3 days, just to remember that you can and that it is your time. And to quiet that dang Regina George mean girl voice that just is relentless. I don't know about you, but mine does not sleep. She does not quit. And so You have to have that antidote at the ready to have her fall silent so that you can plug into what you need to keep going.

Oh, that's so powerful. I love that. And you know, I think that, you know, having those screenshots— I screenshot messages, DMs. Now I'm gonna, I'm gonna add it into a fist bump, like a folder. But it is so important to remember along the way to find joy in the journey. It's not all like if you're just focused on When I get to this achievement, then you do it. And if you haven't found joy along the journey, you're going to get to it and it's not going to— it might even be a letdown a little bit, you know, if it's not exactly what you had in mind or you expected. But I think it's so important to celebrate that progress along the way. And sometimes— Yeah. And, you know, just the other day I was thinking about, you know, And I'm getting over being sick, and I just didn't feel as strong in the gym. And I was really beating myself up. I was like, gosh, you've lost muscle. You look— I mean, my mean girl was like, you're a loser. See how out of breath you are? You're out of shape. Like all these things.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm like, oh my gosh, I remember a time when I couldn't even get out of the hospital bed. And I was, I was like, I am doing good. I am stronger than I was then. I'm getting stronger every day. And so it's these little things that we can remind ourselves to, and it does inspire you to keep moving forward. But I also love that you share all of the struggles and the failures along the way and how you've reframed that and you learned lessons from it, but also that you Googled so much when you didn't know. how to figure something out. That is a freaking superpower that you have, that you are able to go, okay, I don't know how to do this, but dang it, I'm going to figure it out. Because you know what, Aaron? So many people will make excuses instead of trying to figure out another way or some way to do it. It's like they want to wait around and have somebody tell them what to do. And it's like, you're like, oh, uh-uh, I don't know exactly how to do this, but I'm in it and I'm going to do it and I'm going to figure it out. And I love that about you. You are such a go-getter in everything that you do, whether it's your speaking. I freaking love seeing you on stage, by the way. Oh, you're a powerhouse, like a spitfire on the stage. So whether it's your speaking or your podcast interviews or your lives, or, or just when you're doing a Reels and you're holding your phone up out hiking on your Instagram Well, I'm serious. Y'all go check out Miss Erin King on Instagram because you give some really amazing tips, things that we all feel and experience, and it helps to know that we're not alone in that feeling. And one of the things you were just sharing is about authenticity and vulnerability, and that's one thing that you do so well. And I think that's why we've been able to connect. And this group of ladies that, you know, I was like, man, I got to get all these ladies together. And we meet like once a month and we're able to share what we're going through. But, but each level of success can be daunting, it can be intimidating, it can be sometimes lonely. And so I think it's important to reach out to people because I didn't— my family, I was the black— I'm the black sheep too. Nobody else kind of gets it. They're all like a 9 to 5, you know. My husband was a cop, not an entrepreneurial experience on their side at all. And so I totally—

Yeah.

Get that. But so how, besides doing the fist bump folder, um, really, and also besides like really like celebrating your small victories along the way, for someone who is feeling like they don't have the confidence and they want to feel like a big deal, how do they— To own their audacity? Like today, would you say go to the mirror and just start visualizing what success feels like to you? Or how do you start to build confidence? Let's say, for example, they're really intimidated just to go on camera and share a message like you— like, you make it look really easy on Reels to go on and share a message. There are some people that are really intimidated to do— even go on camera like that. What would you suggest to do to start to— To get that confidence to do that?

Well, I love a good manifestation. Yes, the mirror. My friend Judy Holler does like these really fun Post-it notes cheering herself on. Yes to all of that. I think that's all great, but I don't think that's what really truly helps you to step into your big deal energy and show up. I mean, the biggest— I would say the biggest decision that I ever made that I have to keep remaking is, is it's not that I don't care what anyone thinks about me, because anyone who says they don't care what someone thinks about them truly is probably a psychopath or a narcissist or an asshole. Like, let's hope you care a little bit how you make people feel, or—

Right?

I mean, that's just stupid advice, I think. Um, but what I think the decision I made was like, if the stakes are highest and this really matters to me, and I've thought about it and my intuition is screaming at me, I'm just gonna care more what I think about this action than what she or he says or thinks. So it's just this finding this balance of, you know, I really know my truth tellers. I really know my truth tellers. I can count them on one hand. And they are the ones who help me check myself before I wreck myself. But other than that, when I'm showing up on a reel or on stage, I have just released this idea that someone else is doing it better. They're just doing it differently. You know, like we have a— there's just a gal in our keynote circuit. And for years I was like, God, I just wish I could be like her. She's so polished and she's so professional. And, and every time I would try to sort of channel, you know, what I liked about her, it didn't work. It fell flat. It was only when I just released it and said, you know what, my lens, my way, the way I'm seeing things— maybe I doubt it, but the more I stepped into just owning, like, I talk too fast, I'm high energy, I am real, I say things that sometimes later I'm like, oh, well, that was a choice. Probably could have put a filter a little more on that one, right? There's, there's a shadow side to my superpower. But what I know to be true is what my grandmother has told me my entire life. She's from Ireland. We have 36 first cousins. And my entire life, whenever people said, you need to speak slower or you need to slow down, and everything in me is like, well, can't you just speed up? Can't you just meet me where I am? Right? And so my grandmother would always say to me, whenever I felt like something was wrong with me or I wasn't ready or I couldn't do it, She would say, love, it is better to be someone's shot of whiskey rather than everyone's cup of tea.

Love that.

And to this day—

I just got goosebumps.

Yeah. And to this day, I have to remind myself what Nana told me because like, just, you know, we did 25 keynotes this year so far and 24 of them, rave reviews. They want to hire us back. They want to do ongoing training. We're all like feeling like family, just good vibes. Love this job. Love this life. One of them had one little moment that one wrong person didn't like, and I got feedback because it was something that rubbed this one hat, you know, whatever. And I got— my immediate reaction, just like we all do, was to hyperfocus on the one gig that it was not the way I would like it to play out. And I remember what Nana said, and I'm like, you know what? I was 24 companies super shot of whiskey. They're obsessed with me. But the one company, not my— I'm not their cup of tea. And that's okay. Like, as women, we are so programmed to be these hyper-functioning pleasers. And it's like, dudes don't care. Like Ed Mylett, you had Ed Mylett on your podcast the other day, and he was fantastic. I loved your interview with Ed Mylett.

Thanks.

So he just beat me out for this gig at Arbonne, and he just gave his keynote on Friday. And I was like so honored to get beaten by Ed Mylett because he's so incredible and his new book is so great and all this stuff. He got up there on stage and he burnt the place to the ground. And it was because of one element. He did not give a shit whether or not people liked him. He delivered his truth. He preached from his heart. He was a cursing Christian fireball. And the whole place was laughing hysterically, crying their eyes out. And they walked away ready to make a change. And I looked at that and I said, instead of saying like, wow, I want to become this cursing Christian. I didn't say I want to be like Ed Mylett, but I was inspired to look more deeply at like, what is the thing that I can bring that Ed can't, that Amberly can't, that this gal who I'm always kind of looking up to can't? Like, what is your thing? Because to answer your question, long story long, as my husband says. Land the plane. Long story long, the thing that I think people should do more than looking in the mirror or actualizing the moment, figure out your jam.

Hmm.

Figure out your jam. My jam, whether I like it or not, is I have a ton of energy. I don't even drink caffeine. Like, I just have a lot of energy. So, so, okay. So channel that. Use it. Show up with energy. Don't try to be like someone else. You know, what am I good at doing? I'm good at getting people fired up. You know what I suck at? Completing things, finishing things, process, organization, all those things. Yeah, I try to be a little better, but I know I can get things started. I am a starter. So I doubled down on my ability to get people started. What is your power? What is your jam? What are you actually really good at. And if you don't know, ask those truth tellers and listen for that common adjective. Because I ask every client that works with me, what was the best part? What did I bring to you? How did I help you? And they all say, your energy, your energy. Everyone has a word that you're going to hear. And if you are setting yourself up in a way that allows you to lean forward so deeply into that special jam, The confidence will come because you have that value. You are helping, you are bringing it. And so the confidence just follows naturally because you're doing what you were here to do. You're doing what you were set here on this earth to share, which is your gift.

Yeah, so true. And I so relate to— I remember seeing this one speaker, she did a TED Talk. I don't even remember who she is anymore, but I was like, my next talk, I want to be more like her. And I remember going to this women's empowerment event, and I had practiced and practiced this talk over and over. And I got on stage and I was like, I said a cuss word, but it, it wasn't me. I don't cuss on stage. It just wasn't me.

Right.

And I was like, I left there going, oh gosh, that did not feel like me. And I think that it is when we speak from our heart, when we Are our authentic selves, and it's getting to know ourselves, you know, and then going from there. But yeah, I was the same, and I was like, no, I need to be more like me. And it's the opposite for me. People always told— still, you talk so slow. Oh my gosh, your accent. They made fun of my accent. I used to go to a voice coach to try to get rid of my accent. Now I'm just like, screw it. This is how I talk. It might be a little bit slower, but That's me. And you know what, I think more that you step into that, the better. And I like that you do say like, about your truth tellers, like sometimes that, you know, you need to like, well, you say a couple of things, jealous is your genius, and also why you should be a bad listener. When you say be a bad listener, it's like to the people who their opinions don't really matter, or what exactly do you mean when you say that?

Well, so there's a chapter in my book called Becoming a Bad Listener. Obviously, that's intentionally a little bit provocative because we're always taught, you know, listen twice as much as you speak. The world's greatest salespeople are the world's best listeners. Absolutely.

Mm-hmm.

And I can tell you right now, when I started my third company, Socialite, I was like, third time, this is my last chance. If you can't make this third venture work, you don't have what it takes. It's time to throw in the towel. Like at a certain point, you're just being delusional and you're gonna get in trouble. And so I remember when I started my third company, I had so many people say like, aren't you tired of being broke? Aren't you tired of being stressed? Like, like, you're pretty good at marketing communications. Get a dang job. There's nothing wrong with it. And there's no shame in that game. But it wasn't what I had in my heart for myself. And I remember there were Several people that unsolicited basically were like, this is a bad idea. And I had to be a bad listener. I had to say, thank you for your thoughts, but I'm going to again care more what I think about my choice than you. And I hope my— even 2 of my truth tellers even said, this is not for you. But I knew in my heart that if I didn't try one more time, I would regret it for the rest of my life.

Mm-hmm.

And that being a bad listener in that moment served me because Socialite was one of the world's biggest social media agencies for live events for 10 years. We did Fashion Week. We did the Oscars. We did crazy opportunities.

Wow.

I was on the red carpet with my absolute hero, Reese Witherspoon. We have the same birthday. It's not a big deal. But I mean, just like running this, I mean, I had 50 employees. We won all these awards. And my agency was acquired this past January. It was an absolute moment of feeling like a success. I felt like I had celebrated all the small milestones along the way, but it was something that to me felt like I did it. There was no other feeling that I had ever experienced like that feeling. Then what happened? Well, of course, about 5 minutes later of like, good job, we are like, what is the next challenge? What is the next race? Let's set the bar higher. What is the next? And so now, you know, I'm writing this new book and I've launched this new sales training agency and I'm so excited about it. But again, the joy is in this journey. Like the joy is in this journey. And it has taken me so freaking long to really realize that and not just read the coffee cup and say it, but truly feel it in my heart, that peace and that excitement of the struggle. the beauty of the progress. Like we just had a call with my team this morning. I was telling you earlier, and we were all on vacation like the last 2 weeks. We all take the same 2 weeks off every year because it's July. Let's be real. You know, everyone's at the pool, we're with the family, the beach, we're chilling. So our brains were all mush Monday morning this morning. And we were just a hot mess. Like we couldn't figure out the software. You know, it was just, there was so much. It was just like, it was the worst meeting. We were just like, are we even a real company? Like what is happening right now? People are just falling apart all over the place. And I just stopped the meeting and I was like, guys, let's find the joy in the journey, right? And we just took a check and it was like, what was the one thing that you did figure out? And it was something so small. Like some girl was like, I couldn't figure out this login and I got it. We were like, yay for logins. Like just finding a way to just not take it too seriously. Like—

Yeah.

Like I take my business very seriously, but I don't take myself that seriously. Like it's not that serious. Like we are not curing cancer here. Like we are running a company. You know, I mean, you've been through such serious challenges that I, I mean, I think about you sometimes, like when we have certain things, like you're on my list of people whose stories from my podcast— I've been podcasting now for 2 years. I've heard so many stories. You're one of the top 3 stories that I literally keep in my mind when I start to get sucked in and I start to just be human and be like, oh my God, the sky is falling. I'm like, you know what?

Oh my God.

I can walk and I can run, and I didn't have to go through this awful, painful disease that's like this terrible pain threshold. I mean, I think about your story and I'm like, you know what, if Amberly could do it, I could do it. And it's not, it's not in a, it's like in a healthy, healthy competition, not unhealthy comparison.

Yeah.

You know?

Thank you.

Joy, like joyful inspiration. Not putting myself down because my problems aren't— I'm not minimizing my struggle in light of yours. I'm just taking what I felt so inspired by with yours and applying it to mine. I think we all need to have our Amberlys. We need to have— everyone probably is thinking about someone right now. And you have heard their story, and it's not a comparative. It's not comparing your grief or your struggle. Your feelings are valid. Your struggle is valid. This challenge for you is very real. It's not minimizing that because you weren't in a car accident, but it's looking to the men, the women that have risen above something so tough and saying, good job, her. Now let's go, me.

I love that. And I'm just like getting emotional hearing you talk because I feel like it's such confirmation. You keep saying— I don't know if you realize this, but you've said it a few times— joy for the journey. And I just changed in my bio on Instagram yesterday. I added joy to that, spark joy. And you keep saying that. Well, I was talking to John Gordon for the podcast. I don't know if you know who John Gordon is. He's a speaker. He's amazing. He's written like 27 books. Um, he's incredible, one of my favorite male speakers.

Wow.

And, um, I was interviewing him for the podcast, or no, actually, he— I was on his podcast And he said, you know, Amberly, I think you need to have another book and the title should be Joy for the Journey. And so I've got a sticky note when I look down when you were talking. I'm not kidding. So when I looked down when you were talking, because you were saying that over and over, I was like, where's my sticky note that says Joy for the Journey? Because you mentioned that. And it's like, like we hear, like we get these God winks through other people. And I swear, I'm like, God brought you into my life because there's so many things that you remind me of. And like our conversation now, like, I, I need to actually start working on the book. But also like just things that I hear you say on your Instagram, little reminders. I'm like, oh, thank you God for Erin and for that message today. And I love that thing that where you Say, look, it's human nature to compare ourselves, especially with social media. But I love that you say sometimes we gotta block them and bless them and block them. But I also love the, the, the different— how you say there's a difference between, you know, getting sucked into that comparison trap or using your competition as like, oh, Competition is good. Like, I— it lights a fire in me. So tell me a little bit more about if somebody gets stuck in that trap of scrolling on social media, then all of a sudden you see you're having a good day, then you see somebody and you're like, oh, must be nice for them to be on the beach today. And oh, sunny California, and I'm stuck here in my office and it's raining. And suddenly your life is crap, you know, and you start eating pizza or something. You know what I mean? Like, I, I don't know.

Totally.

I've been there. Where I'm like, oh my gosh, Amberly, stop comparing yourself that you didn't get that speaking gig or you didn't get booked on their podcast, or you know what I mean? Those things. How do you get out of that?

Well, I haven't gotten out of it. I am still very much in that. I think it is very, I think it's very, like we're in the middle of a grand human experiment right now with phones and social. Like we, I was, I'm here at my, my in-law's house down in Birmingham, Alabama. And last night was so refreshing. I'm at a table. My mother-in-law is 74. My father-in-law is 83. They are super high energy. They have a vibrant social life. And we're sitting around the table and there are 6 of them. It's 3 couples and they're all over 75. They come from the world of no phones and no social media. And they're talking back and forth in the crossfire and, and the southern accents, right? We're down in Alabama here and they're storytelling and they're joking around and And there is not a phone to be seen.

Isn't that refreshing?

It was. My husband's like, we don't want to go get drinks with a bunch of old people. I'm like, are you insane? Old people are the only ones that have it figured out right now. They are the only ones that know how to be present and stay focused and be joyful. And it was so, to use your word, it was so refreshing, so invigorating. And I left and I thought to myself, gosh, we are in the middle of such a massive Experiment, and I don't know how it's going to shake out. I don't have it solved. You know, sometimes I go through these phases where I charge my phone in the other room, and then I cave and I charge it back in my, my bed again. Well, then I have my timer set. Well, I overrun the timer. Well, then I try for, okay, 30 minutes. I'm gonna wake up in the morning and just for 30 minutes, no phone. I don't know why that is so hard for me. But it's really hard. And I just finished actually my annual digital detox every single year for 6 years. I do it.

I love that. I, I saw that you did that and I was like, that is incredible.

Every year I've done it.

Yeah, that's amazing. I mean, I took, um, like a week off of social media. I mean, I was still doing email, I was still doing everything else. I just took a week from posting on social media. It was the first time I had taken a break in 5 years.

How'd you—

one week from felt like, oh my God, it was amazing. And I thought to myself, gosh, to wake up and you're not thinking, oh, I need to post something. Oh, see, I'm not the kind of person that has some huge, large— you know, I've got a team, but I don't have anybody that's like creating my Instagram post and my con— you know, it's like, it's—

Yeah.

I'm the one writing it. I'm the one responding. I'm— you know what I mean? And to take a week off, I have to say, I thought, wow, what— how amazing would it be to have all that extra time? But yet I run my business on social media, as do you. So it's a— it's kind of a hard balance. I have to say, I'm really grateful that my daughter, my oldest daughter, doesn't even have social media. She's in medical school.

She's a genius.

She got rid of it, deleted it, because she knew she had to focus. My youngest daughter's 14, and I'm so grateful that she doesn't get sucked into— like, I mean, of course occasionally she will, but she actually makes sales on Instagram. She doesn't, you know, she does it for work too. And I can't tell her don't be on social media when I'm on it, you know. But it was nice to take a break.

Oh man, I hear you. And I'm so thankful that both of them, it sounds like they have very healthy relationships with digital, especially for their age. So bravo.

Yeah, they do.

You're doing a good mama. Um, I will say that it is so challenging. I ran a social media company for 10 years. This was my job. And, um, it wasn't until I saw The Social Dilemma, that documentary, that I was like, oh my God. I'm like, have I been part of this problem for 10 years? So I'm really excited to be moving into sort of this new brand where I'm not teaching social, I'm more teaching Communication, sales, influence, online, offline, all the time. So it's more of a holistic 360. So I'm really excited about the new platform there just for a lot of reasons. But going back to the digital detox, I can't tell you, Amberly, how calm, how much better I slept, and my creativity. Oh my God.

The creativity, I'm sure.

Oh my God. Like all of a sudden, all these ideas, it's like I didn't have space. And so, so the one thing that I'm trying, I never answer this question like I have it figured out because I do. not. And I struggle with it. So I never offer like a firm answer because I am still— I never teach anything I don't do myself and have it figured out on the other side. I teach from scars, not wounds. You know what I mean? So I don't know yet the answer. But what I'm trying right now in this time is to be hyper-intentional around my ratio of consumption to creation.

Mm-hmm.

Like I am being hyper-focused that if I am on there, I am creating and I am responding, but I am trying. I wish I could create like an app where the minute you start going down the black scroll hole where you tell yourself you're working, you get slapped across the face. Yes.

Just a good shake.

Stop it. Yes, exactly. Okay, that's our next product. We're gonna invent that. But, um, yeah, I mean, it's tricky. I will say that, you know, our, our businesses, it's It's how we make our money. It's how we grow our footprint. And the crazy thing, this is the crazy part, is I've noticed when I first started going off social media about 6 years ago, it wasn't that big of a deal. Didn't notice much of a difference in my company. I will say this is the— I was like, oh, it's not that big of a deal. You can do it every year. This was the first year I had multiple DMs and there were women that were like, where did you go? Because I actually really need you and I count on you. And Like you're coming back, right? Because I need what you're telling me. And then it was interesting when I got those messages because first of all, it's obviously our why as creators is that we actually— someone is being moved or being assisted in some way by how we show up. But it was such a reminder that it doesn't matter that I hate social media. It doesn't matter that it's draining my battery because at the end of the day, if you focus on the impact That you're trying to make. It's just a channel. It's just a vehicle. And if that's the way you can make the biggest impact, well, then we've got to find a better way to, to make peace with it and to stay focused on it's not the best for us. Maybe it's really helping somebody else. So I just try to stay focused on that every single time that I'm like, Instagram, right? So it's complicated. I don't have any answer.

Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I actually, I, I love writing. I love creative, being creative. And I actually like getting on there and going, how could I make like a fun Reels, like editing kind of stuff on? I really like that. Um, but it's sometimes when I'm like, oh my gosh, I have like 1,000 DMs to respond to because I didn't get back to people. Like, I can miss one— I can miss one or two days of DMs and literally have hours to go through of DMs. And it's funny because my my youngest daughter, my 14-year-old, was like, well, Mom, how much does your assistant make? She goes, you know, I could help you with that if you're willing to pay me as much as your assistant. And I'm like, I think you might have to work your way up to that. But she, she's amazing. But yes, it is like a challenge to see what it is gonna do because I know that it's— it can be very addictive. There are a lot of kids that are— do you know that there are actually Like rehab facilities for digital addiction. Yeah.

Yeah, I've heard about this. Yeah. Well, it's just, it's, yeah, I mean, this topic is like endless. I mean, I can say that one thing that has really helped me lately is intentionally seeking out, like finding and replacing. I mean, I call it like Marie Kondoing my newsfeed, where when I do see that gal, instead of judging myself, like, you're being so high school, who cares? Like, Team abundance, not team scarcity. You know?

Yeah.

But but it's interesting because I will say like there are two women in my newsfeed and they are very similar and they run in this we run in the same circles. Our businesses are pacing around the same level and they even kind of look alike and they have similar topics. And for some reason when I see one of these gals do a stadium, I'm like yes! Like I'm so excited for her and I can't wait to hear about it and I'm like just. Pumped. And for some reason, I see the other gal and she makes me feel less than. I have no idea why. I have stopped trying to figure it out. And instead of judging myself for having a joyful reaction of like, go girl, for one gal, and the other reaction of just the human, like, why not me? You know, knee-jerk reaction.

We've all been there. We have all been there.

But I used to judge myself because I'm like, you know better. You literally know better. Why are you still feeling like this? I stopped judging it and I just said, okay, I'm going to release her. There is something energetically inspiring across the screen. I don't have to understand it to know that the emotion is real. And so I just, I just block and bless, like you said, unfollow, wish her well. And then I try to find more of the women and men that when I see their content, it sparks an idea for me. It sparks, oh, actually, my take on that would be this, right?

Yeah.

And so there's people that I think can be really healthy, but we have to be super intentional and not just let the The new Steve B. The Cesspool, because it is a lot of work. It's like cleaning out your closet or anything else in your house, like Marie Kondo. It's a lot of work to go through your, like, old panty drawer or your gross, like, someday clothes pile, or what doesn't fit you from 5 years ago. Get over it, it's not gonna zip, like, throw it out. It is a lot of work, but it is so worth it. When you have a closet that you can find the outfit that you need, where you can find the tool that you need, the moment that you need, the story that you need, the vibe that you need. It's, it's, it's not inherently good or evil. It's just how we choose to show up and use it.

Yeah. Oh, I love that analogy. I'm very visual, a visual person, so that really, that really helps. Um, yeah, and you know what's interesting, right? Like when I brought all these ladies together for the Legendary Lady group that we have, it's like every single person in the group, I see them get some huge job. I'm like, yes, you go, girl! It's like Oh my gosh, that's totally possible. Like, that is what's possible. When I look at you and your beautiful website, I'm like, oh, that's what a website's supposed to look like. That's what's possible. Like, you know what, you inspire me in that way, seriously. Because you— I mean, obviously it's what you do. You teach people how to be digitally, like, persuasive digitally. and you've got it nailed in. And I'm like, gosh, I need to have Erin like help me with my website. And one of the things that I love that you do is you teach people that, you know, whatever they're trying to do, if they're trying to sell their product or their course or, you know, themselves for a speaking gig, how to win people over. So I did want to get into a little bit of that, a little bit. What, what is something if our listeners are like, gosh, I want to be more persuasive, on social media so I don't get blocked and blessed? Like, what can they do to, to be more persuasive?

Yeah, well, there's so many different strategies I teach in my books, my courses, my keynotes. But I would say the number one lesson that I always come back to in all my workshops that everyone's heads just go nodding off of their necks is that when we're behind a screen, we tend to be a lot less persuasive. Like, there is a study that came out in 2019 that found that we are 34 times less persuasive when we are typing than when we're talking. However, think about how much time we all spend selling ourselves and who we are and our mission and our story, what we can bring to the table. People shop your website, they shop your Instagram, you send the email, you ask via text. Like, digital ignites dialogue. So we have to nail our digital footprint to get the opportunity to shine on Zoom, in real life, face-to-face, where we're actually very persuasive and very influential and very powerfully naturally. And so the biggest, biggest key is that we have to type more like we talk. We have to type more like we talk. And how we do that is that we keep in mind that the screen kind of is like It's not really a screen. It's more like an empathy blocker. You know, screens block our body language. It blocks our humanity. It blocks everything that makes an energetic human exchange so powerful because we can't see all that. We're blocked from it. And so one thing to remember when you are writing an email, when you are creating your profile, is that the most important component is that as fast as possible in the first 10 words, The first one scroll, the first 2.5 seconds. It has to be so obvious, not who you are, but how you serve. How you serve. Not who you are, but how you serve.

Oh, I love that. Not who you are, but how you serve. I love that. So when they first see it, there's actually a feeling they get, like what you're bringing to the table, how you're gonna deliver.

Yeah. Like my bio in one line, it says, get more yes online, offline, all the time. And then I say, because that's like, okay, that sounds cool, but what is that? Right? Like, what do you do? So then I say keynote speaker and bestselling author, but my first opening line is what's in it for you? Like get more yes online, offline, all the time. So immediately it's like, if that is something on their heart that they are seeking, they know that you are for them. Because all we're trying to decide is, are you for me?

I'm taking notes, by the way. Okay. Yeah. So like my— I think my line on my website, I'm gonna have to look. I'm in the middle of like a whole rework for my website, but is, you have the power to change your life. But that's kind of vague. So I need your expertise on What? You know me well. Give me a quick tagline.

Well, I would say—

come on, girl—

I would, I would say start with your— well, I mean, I have my opinions, but I would say what I did to finally get more yes is I asked my top repeat clients that have booked me for 2, 3, 5 keynotes over the last 5 years. I'm like, why? Like, because a lot of times, you know, it's a small industry, and so like meeting planners are what hire us for our keynotes, and a lot of times they hop around to different companies. Well, I love when they change jobs because you're like, yes, I just got another gig, right? Because there's new companies that can bring you in, right? But I asked them, I'm like, so when you walk away, like, how do I best serve you? And I heard like first energy, but then they said, I just feel like I know how to get more yes. I feel like I can get more yes from my team or from my buyers or from my followers. And I kept hearing this phrase, I feel like you helped me just get more yes. And I'm like, that's what I do then. So it's like, ask your people and listen for that pattern, and they'll unearth it for you. Because sometimes it's hard for us to see what our real value is. And so start by asking and then listen for that. If you hear it more than twice, that's your jam. That is what you bring. And, and just lead with that, you know? So—

That's such good advice to add. Yeah. And you know what? That's how I actually even started my Unstoppable Life Mastermind.

Oh, nice.

Because I took the questions that people ask me over and over all the time. There's only so much time. I can't do one-on-one with each and every person that's asking me these questions. So I thought, why not make a mastermind and bring all these amazing women together? And that's how I actually started my mastermind, was I just listened to my audience and to the questions they were asking over and over, like, how do I Become a speaker? How do I write a book? How do I start a podcast? Like, how do I get media? All these things. And I'm like, well, let me time collapse all the, the learning that it took me years to make, and I'm going to open up my playbook. But yeah, I think it's so important to ask questions.

Yeah, take the pressure off of you. Even my last book, just like you said, we sit here and think, oh, what do I write? What do I type? What do I say? Right? Like, oh, chapters of a book. Oh my God, where do I start? Well, just like you, I combed through thousands of DMs and I looked for patterns. And the top 10 questions that women and men asked me became the chapters of the book. And everyone's like, I love your chapters. And I'm like, cool. Well, I didn't make them. So I just have my audience to thank for being honest and vulnerable and brave enough to ask these tough questions on their heart. So if we have the audacity to listen and to check our ego and realize that We don't have to have all the answers. We don't have to always create from scratch. We can start by listening. I always say, you know, research is the new listening. And just research is the new listening. Like, ask and you will receive. They will tell you. And then you can just sit there and figure out, okay, well, this is the word people describe me as. Number 2, this is the value that my most diehard repeat customers and clients say that I bring. And then number 3, how can I sum that up in a tweet or in a sentence? Because the problem is so many of us, it's so hard to be simple. And nothing is worse. I know this for myself. I know my brand is not clear when I'm going through an identity evolution, which I do every couple of years, every like every new book, right? You're kind of like, okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

You gotta like fix the, you know, the brand. And the minute that you're confusing is the minute that your business suffers. Like if you confuse, you lose, right? So So for a little while, my bookings went down because I had Digital Persuasion and then I launched Big Deal Book. So on my website, they were like, does she teach Digital Persuasion or is she teaching Big Deal Energy, Live Your Best Life? So it was too much confusion. And I saw my bookings start to go down, not because my quality of my work went down, but because I was offering too much. And so I had to take a step back and say, we are confusing and we are losing. So what is my new brand? Okay. Well, a lot of us would say, well, you got to pick one. You got to be either or. I'm an and person. Like I want all the things. Like I don't like being in a box. I live in gray, 50 shades of gray sometimes to be a little sassy, right? Like I love gray. I don't like black and white. I like gray. It's like, okay, well, how can I marry these 2 things together so that it makes more sense? So Get More Yes is my new book coming out in March. Online, offline, all the time. We're talking about how to get yes Online, get yes offline, and then get yes all the time. And that's the mindset component, saying yes to ourselves and believing we have what it takes. So it's a new brand that is very easy to explain in one sentence, and it marries everything I'm offering in 3 key things: online, offline, all the time. You are getting more yes. So if you can't explain it in one sentence like I couldn't, it is way too complicated. So you have to figure out how to boil it down. If someone says, what do you do? I found myself stuttering and stumbling. I mean, no wonder we're at Christmas and my poor parents can't explain it. I can't explain it. I'm like, this is, there's too much going on.

Mm-hmm.

So we have to boil it down to that one sentence. And it's so freeing and so liberating when you can explain what your business is doing in one sentence. I cannot tell you, talk about success, talk about feeling good. When you can boil it down to that one sentence, it is like you just wanna sing. I mean, it is so liberating. So I would challenge anyone listening, if you find yourself saying, well, I'm a coach slash speaker, slash author slash mentor slash trainer slash like, like, and because yes, of course, we're all multi-passionate, multi-hyphenate. And in a perfect world, that would be super fun. But if you want to be buyable, you got to be clear.

That is so powerful. It's so interesting because this, I think it was like Friday night, what I was doing Friday night is what I was rewriting my bio for LinkedIn. My husband was like, gosh, do you ever stop working? And it's like, you know, 9 o'clock on Friday night. And I'm like, I'll be right out, you know. But I enjoy doing that. But I was like, gosh, I hadn't updated my bio on LinkedIn in years. Seriously, years. And my friend Jordan Mendoza was like, uh, Amberly, your bio is like— are you on LinkedIn ever? Have you looked at your bio? And I was like, oh wow. So redoing that, but even as simple as like your bio on your Instagram page, like what you say, sometimes it's just the first 2 little sentences. People've got a couple of seconds. Are they gonna see more about what you're about, or that's it, they're gonna be turned off? So I've been sitting here taking notes, but I wanna know a little bit more about your new book, when it's coming out. You said spring.

March 2023. We're very excited. Yeah, and it's so exciting because, you know, I think sometimes also what I'm most excited about is sometimes we think we have to always reinvent everything from scratch, like a brand new concept. You know, I love the joy is the journey, by the way, and I have never actually used that specific phrase except for today. I thought it in my head, like progress over perfection, but I never actually said joy is the journey until this conversation.

Really?

That is 100% supposed to be yours. and supposed to have been hitting you over the head with like— it's, it's like that book Big Magic with Elizabeth Gilbert where she says ideas have their own life and, and like they'll find you. It's up to you to like capture it and bring it in or else someone else will. And that, that seems to be maybe your big idea. So I can't wait to hear about when Joy's The Journey is coming out. But for this book for March, I'm so excited because we don't have to always create something from scratch. Like we can look back and say like, well, what if we built up some equity within? Like what has really resonated? Like, so for me, like my PUB method is my sales methodology. It's trademarked. It's been used by some of the world's biggest sales and marketing organizations. It helps leaders, entrepreneurs, and executives in a 3-step methodology to type more like they talk and show up online, offline, all the time more powerfully. So that's one component that I talk about in Digital Persuasion.

Mm-hmm.

In my book, Big Deal Energy, I talk a lot about this idea of audacity, of like believing in yourself and knowing that you have what it takes. Like in the moment where I was pitching the tampon business to the guys, and it's just literally a flick of the switch in your mind is all the difference between getting more yes. So I talk about it in the book, but the book is pink and it's girl power and it's fabulous, but it's not necessarily a message that's going to land with all audiences. So I'm pulling that element in. Now I'm packaging it into this new book, Get More Yes. And there's going to be tons of new content, but there are some key elements that have served my clients so well for the last couple of years. And so you can look back at your work and say like, what has worked so well and how can I repurpose and refresh it for these new times? Like you don't have to always toss the baby out with the bathwater and blow the whole thing up. You can, you can, you can migrate. these magic nuggets and, and take them to the next level. And then you're just, you're just getting better. You're taking the greatest hits and, and just, and building on them. So I think that's a really interesting way to approach creation, is it doesn't have to always be this like overwhelming blank slate. Like if you're in a creation season, you can look and say, gosh, well, what was really working and how does that look today that maybe it didn't look the same when I first made it? Like how can we evolve? And that's why Some of the bestselling books of all time are just another edition of a classic principle. I mean, we don't have to always start from scratch. So this book, I'm really excited because it's taking things that have worked, it's leveling them up, it's updating them for these times, and then also adding some fresh stories, some fresh perspectives. And as you can tell, I'm very excited for it to come out. So it's called Get More Yes, and it's coming out in March 2023.

Oh my goodness. Well, I want to know a couple questions. When do you find time to write?

Well, I usually write first thing in the morning. I'm a morning person. And then I don't know about you, but every single time I get in the shower— does it happen to you?

Yeah, in the shower.

Dangerous. I'm like jumping out of the shower, sliding across the floor. There's water all over my phone. There's water all over the pen. Like, can someone please invent like something we can write in the shower? Because all my ideas— You know what?

Yeah, it's in the shower, but also late at night. Like For some reason, like, right before I go to bed. And so I'm like, okay, I gotta get up, turn the light on, go write this out.

Oh, good for you. You know, my brain stops working right around 6 PM. I am not a morning person. My perfect day is I am done by 9:01 PM. Like, I am a morning person. And I love Julia Cameron's morning pages. I started subscribing to that concept years ago. And, you know, I just first— I'm a writer. I've always been a writer. Like, I was an English major in college, and I I was the editor of our school newspaper. I feel—

That's amazing.

Like, I just— writing for me, it's so cathartic, and I would rather write than speak, believe it or not. I just, I love it. But for some of my friends that are like, I don't like writing, I hate— like, I have so many girlfriends that are like, oh, like, they have done so well with using dictation apps. I mean, I have a buddy of mine, he literally just finished his entire book. He went away to book jail for one week, and he just Walked and walked and talked and walked into this dictation app and had it transcribe the whole thing. A week of walking away from the world, and he got a whole book done, like 35,000 words in like 7 days of just chatting away to this thing.

Oh my God.

Of course he'll have to edit it and do all that kind of— but the hardest thing is getting that, that rough draft to start with. And so, you know, if you're like, oh my God, I'm not a writer, that's okay. You know, are you a talker? You know, are you— there's a lot of ways that you can Bring your ideas out into the world. And maybe you're not either. Maybe that's why a podcast like your podcast is so powerful. I mean, you share your ideas. I mean, you probably have so much content. I mean, I can't even imagine all the amazing guests you've had over the last couple of years, all the ideas. Just by osmosis, you are full of so much of your own brilliance, but also the brilliance that you've learned from all these different amazing guests. And it's like For you, I would imagine it's not like what to write, or like, oh gosh, I need something to write. It's like which concept, because you have so much to choose from.

Oh my goodness, having a podcast is such a blessing. It's—

I agree.

Oh, I, I love it. And I love to write too. And a lot of times my husband will be like, what are you doing? Get off your phone. And I do like to— like, I've got the, you know, big journals and stuff on my, my desk that I like to write in. And it's different when you handwrite things. It just comes out different. But I also like to write, but there's something that's hard for me about sitting at a laptop and typing things out. It doesn't come out the same. I don't feel like— yeah. So I handwrote about 90% of my entire book was about handwritten. I know that's crazy. Wow.

Good for you.

But I turn into a perfectionist when I'm typing. I like, start to go, oh, that's a misspelled word. Oh, I didn't punctuate that right. The parentheses aren't right, or whatever. So yeah, but I think it's just starting and doing it. I can't wait for your new book, and congratulations on doing this podcast with Success Magazine.

Oh, thank you. Thank you for being one of the most incredible guests so far. Of course, you were literally one of my very first episodes. I was like, okay, who is gonna bring the heat for the very launch of this new, you know, high-profile show, and you were at the top of my list. So our interview was fire. You are so— oh my gosh. I mean, I haven't checked with all the stats, but I'm sure it's gonna be one of our most downloaded episodes. So if you guys are listening, after you listen to all the episodes of Grit and Grace, head over to my podcast and search Amberly Lago because your episode is absolutely so vulnerable and just chock-full of nuggets. I mean, you were incredible. Oh my gosh, I didn't even know that it came out yet. Yeah, it's out.

Oh my gosh. Well, I'm gonna go check that out. And I'm gonna—

Well, we did, we did that thing where you start a new podcast and we published a bunch, just like, like the first 10, we just put them live. And then we're going to be like promoting like each one at a time. So I haven't actually promoted your episode yet. But technically, people can get a sneak peek.

Okay, awesome. Well, yeah, how do they go listen to that? And I'll put that, that link in the show notes here too.

Yeah, we're on everything, all the Apple Podcasts, All of it.

Okay, awesome. Okay, we'll get that. You guys can look in the show notes for the link to go check that out. Also, do you have your book? I know it's not coming out until— your new book isn't coming out till March of 2023. Do you have a link for pre-ordering that yet, or is it not completely done?

There is a link for pre-order. Yeah, you amaze me.

Are you serious?

Yeah, we just— I actually put it up this morning because I had a weird feeling you were going to ask me that.

Is that wild?

I was cranking it out this morning. Yeah, so it's erinking.com, and if you just scroll down, you'll see it right there. It says get more yes for pre-order.

You are incredible.

I knew that. I swear.

You know what, I was looking at your website this morning and I was like, oh, she changed her website up a little bit since the last time. But your website, out of everybody's website, and I'm not just saying this, Out of everybody's website, your site is the one that I look to for inspiration and ideas.

Well, let me tell you, I'll peel back the layers and be totally honest. Okay, so here is where I got the website. I learned about it on Jenna Kutcher's show about 2 years ago, who is just a dynamo, as we know. I used her code. The company is called Showit, S-H-O-W-I-T. Showit.co. That's sort of like, you know, the place that you build it and manage it. The template I bought at a shop called Tonic, T-O-N-I-C, Tonic, and they integrate together, so they work together. I'm not an ambassador for them or anything like that. I don't have like a code or anything, but I have been working in this space, as you know, for 15 years, and I found their design to be the most aesthetically pleasing with doing a really good job of A/B testing, uh, the persuasiveness of how they lay out their content. And then finally, the ability for non-website people to be able to go in and update and change if they don't have a team backing them up. Because I have a small team just like you. We have— there's— we're 5 all in, 5 people. And to this day, sometimes this is terrible, but I'll just be like, you know what, let me just go in and do it really fast because I literally know exactly what I have in mind and it's gonna take me longer to Yeah. And just go in and do it. That is not advice that is great advice for anyone trying to scale their business, but for me at this stage, that's how I'm rolling. So I like— well, and you don't have to be an expert. You can just go in and just click.

I love that.

It's very easy.

I took notes on that. But, and, but believe me, also too, like, I have a web guy that I love. I've got 2 web guys. One I really love. I can have him create a whole new website, seriously, Like, I have a whole new landing page for truegrittengrace.com.

And he—

I gave him all— it took me like a day to write up everything for it and get him the information that he needed. Like, I had a layover and I literally was— I think I was in Denver at a layover and I got stuck at the— and I went into a lounge and from 9 o'clock in the morning until 6 o'clock at night, I wrote, like, took that time all by—

Good for you.

So yeah, I got it all done and he got that. But another time, I have a web designer and It takes longer, like you said, to explain it, but for him to actually do it. So I love that I can go and have the ability. It's always better if somebody else does it, but sometimes you just want to go in and do something. And so I love that you can do it with this because sometimes WordPress is a little bit overwhelming.

It's out of my pay grade. Nope.

Yeah. Well, I can't wait to, to share this episode, and I can't wait. Um, I'm asking like I'm going to be a part of this, like, what are we doing to celebrate your your book launch. I want to know what you're doing.

We sure are. We sure are.

Like, seriously, I want to be there. I want to be there.

We are gonna throw a party because my last book came out during quarantine and all the authors that published books during quarantine, we all got robbed of like the fun book launch party with the buddies and all the fun. So we are cooking up a huge celebration and you know, you are at the very top of that VIP list. So I cannot wait. Hopefully in person you can come to Orange County. We might do a little tour around here. We're not, we're not gonna— we got Some time. So, uh, but yeah, definitely.

No, I will be there. I will jump on a plane and be there in a heartbeat, and I'll even make an appointment to see your hair girl.

Hair girl. I was just thinking that. You're awesome, Amberly. Oh, thank you. Thanks for having me.

Oh my goodness. Thank you. Y'all go check her out. It's Miss Erin King on Instagram where you can see her like inspiring and her reels full of wisdom, like really great tips. Check out her podcast. Incredible books, and for sure her new book. I just adore you. Thank you so much for being on the show. And I was taking notes as you're talking. I'm sure the audience took a ton of notes. And all the, you know, taking notes, go ahead and screenshot this episode and tag me @AmberlyLagoMotivation and tag Miss Erin King. When I see that you've tagged me on Instagram especially, that's kind of where I hang out the most, I reshare that. Let's make this go viral and show Erin how much we love her. Just thank you so much for being here.

Amberly, you are such a special light. I'm so glad that our paths have come together this year, and I cannot wait to team up with you and create more magic in the future. So you are a bright light and I adore you.

Thanks for having me. Thank you. And thank y'all for tuning in. I will see you next week.