Get Unstuck and Tap into Your Soul's Power with Elizabeth Pearson

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose.

Hey, it's Amberly.

Thanks for tuning into the show. My intention for starting this podcast was To share stories of resilience. And I have to say, I wasn't feeling very resilient mentally. I mean, we've got a lot going on. We are in the middle of packing up our house. We are moving again. And at the same time, I'm planning a 2-day event, in-person event here in Dallas for my mastermind. So it's been a little nutty. I haven't been able to stay as focused until I started taking something that has really helped me. So I wanted to share it with you. So I started taking Nootopia. It's a nootropic.

Yeah.

Y'all, it has helped so much with my brain, with focus, with recall, with my creativity, with my energy. I didn't even have coffee this morning. Coffee makes me feel anxious and jittery sometimes. I just needed smooth energy. And so my favorite is the Brain Flow because it actually boosts your confidence and eliminates feelings of anxiousness. And they also have something called Focused Savagery. Y'all, I am going to be doubling up on that at my event. So any Anything that I take that I love, that works for me, I want to share it with you so you can be resilient mentally, so you can stay focused because Zoom fatigue is real. So get something to help you with your energy, with your clarity, with your creativity. Go to newtopia.com/amberly. Again, that's newtopia.com/amberly. N-O-O-T-O-P-I-A. Dot com forward slash A M B E R L Y telling you check out these products you will thank me later again nutopia.com forward slash Amberly and now on to the show hello thank y'all for tuning in to True Grit and Grace I have a really special episode today it's with one of my good friends Elizabeth Pearson and we decided to like Get in and do this episode because not only is it much needed, but also she has some exciting news coming out. And I'm like, we got to get you on the show. We got to— we just got to do this like right now. And then we had some other events happen, which we'll get into. But y'all, she's amazing. We met and instantly there was a connection and we talk all the time. And I was like, okay, we've got to record here because we got on this call and started talking. But she's a coach for women. In a male-dominated field because, and that's something I really want to talk about. She's also the author of a new book called Career Confinement: How to Free Yourself, Find Your Guides, and Seize the Fire of Inspired Work. And she's the host of an amazing podcast y'all need to check out. It's called Ascend and Transcend Podcast. And I had the honor of being her show and she's such an incredible interviewer. She is a wife. She's a mama. She's a good friend. And Elizabeth, thank you for being here and welcome to the show.

Thank you, Amberly, so much for moving mountains to get me on. I appreciate you. I appreciate your listeners giving their attention today, and I'm excited for our talk.

Well, you reached out the other day and you sent me a picture of what's going on with your hubby, and his leg looks wrapped up and kind of similar to something I've been through. And you're like, oh my gosh, this is what happened. I'm like, what the heck happened? I'm like, Yeah. And he was ice skating and had a fall. But yeah, you have had a lot planned. And I want to talk about, like, so many of us, especially in the last couple of years, have maybe had these big plans or big ideas. And sometimes things don't always go as planned. I mean, yesterday I had a big tree fall down right in front of me. And I It was crazy. We had these huge storms going on here right in front of me. And my default is to always be grateful. Like, I am so grateful that didn't land on me. I am so grateful there. And then I think, okay, well, this just means there's another way around. Like, there's always a different way. There's always a way to get through. Sometimes we have to reroute and trust that reroute. But you have this big tour coming up.

Like, yeah. Well, it was, it was to be. To give your listeners some background, I, I am an executive coach, as you said, for women, usually in ELT or C-suite level roles in male-dominated fields. And most are— I mean, which, which fields really aren't male-dominated? Over the course of about 4 and a half, 5 years, I've been putting together this book. And it's gone through 4 different proposals, which I'm sure you know, that's painful to write proposals.

Mm-hmm.

2 different book agents that tried to sell it. It's just been this little engine that could. I tell people it's like, It's like I wanted to have a third child and I had to do IVF for 5 years to get this baby, right? And this baby is finally being born. And I had all of these big plans to travel to LA and New York and Chicago to support it. And this book tour, hired a fancy publicist, all of it. And we're about 3 weeks out. And last weekend, my husband, being the good father he is, took our little girls ice skating. Yes, we live in Southern California. So it was like an indoor ice rink. And just this freak accident, he fell and he broke his tibia and his fibula and his ankle and his left wrist. And so the last week has been one of the hardest weeks of both of our lives. It's been him in a lot of pain, him having surgery and being in the hospital and finally coming home, and me really kind of stepping into this new role of being this nurse. You know, I'm really his in-home care. He's pretty much solely dependent on me for everything and have these 2 little girls as well. School started this week. Got to get them there at a certain time, you know? And I think a lot of moms probably feel mom guilt too. Like, every morning I was giving my husband these, you know, little smoothies that you buy at the grocery store, and I'm looking at the sugar on them and all this stuff, and I just start feeling really guilty. I'm like, well, I should be making fresh smoothies, and I should be making him protein in the morning, and I should be doing all of this. Amberly, it is like a tidal wave of just stuff that needs to happen. And this little baby book has been promptly put in the corner and told to sit down because she's not important anymore. There are things that are actually important. But we were chatting before we came on about how we have these big plans, right? And then God laughs, the universe laughs and says, you know what, right, I'm gonna have that tree fall. My tree fall was literally my husband falling and being injured like I've never seen him, seeing him go through painful situations. I think it's also hard for men, you know, especially men that are so strong in our lives, to have to succumb to that help, you know, and not wanting to be a burden and this and that. But what's been so wonderful is I sent you that picture and I said, oh man, I know a little bit about what you were talking about then with your accident and everything. And it does, it just puts things into perspective. And so there's no doubt something that your listeners are going through or some big plans that they have. And we thought about, what if we talked about what if those plans don't go according to your expectations and something big comes up and you have to pivot and change?

Mm-hmm. And I was like, well, I immediately, when you sent me the picture, I was like, well, there's got to be another way. Like, how about a podcast tour instead? Let's get you on the show earlier. What about one book signing in Orange County or at the Grove? over something so you can at least, like, celebrate, you know? And, and then I taught— I wanted to get my husband's perspective on it because he was my caretaker. And it was interesting. He goes, yeah, yeah, she should do her book tour. She's got it. Like, she's got to get help. And, and I was like, I know. I wish I was in California to help her.

No.

But I am just rooting for your book. And I think because of how amazing your book is, it's going to be evergreen and always something needed and And so even if the timeline isn't exactly where you want it to be, it will be a success, no doubt. But I think when you're in situations too, like this, it has the, you know, it's the ability, like for me, it really connected my husband and I on a deeper level, you know?

For sure. Yeah, that's definitely something, you know, we thought we had a lot of one-on-one time during the pandemic and oh boy. Is this like really just— this is a whole new level. You know, when you are— when you're the caretaker, right, when somebody is really dependent, he's, he's able to now kind of scoot around on a walker a little bit, but there's no like going to get your own food. There's no going to get your own ice packs. There's no any of that stuff. And I think that it could very quickly go one of two directions. It could go to resentment.

Mm-hmm.

And oh God, now I have to do this. I've got so much on me already. Or it can bring you closer and you can say, you know what, I'm glad that I'm here and I can support you on this whole new level that frankly, I didn't think we were going to get to until we were in our 80s or 90s. But now, you know, 41 and 46, here we are. And I think it really does put into perspective, and I'll share with your listeners, the day before his accident, I just remember feeling really disappointed. I was like, he's not pulling his weight. He's just working too much. I have way too much on my plate with the girls. I just need him to step it up. And I even— I think I might have been a total jerk and said out loud, like, what do you even do? Like, I said something like that. And then the next day, you know, it's like the universe is like, oh, you don't think he does anything? Okay, I'll show you. Now he really can't do anything. You know, and so you're going to see all that he did do. And I, but I'm able to kind of see that, like, okay, we were talking about how we, we manifest things really quickly. And even talking about this book, you know, Career Confinement, there is, there's career confinement, you know, but there's also relationship confinement, there's parental confinement. And a lot of times when I was talking about the book, I would use as reference, you know, what if you had a spouse who was injured or sick? That could feel like confinement. And then here we go. You know, it's like the universe is like, yep, you want that?

Here you go.

And so I think it really is important, as you always, you know, preach to your listeners too, what you focus on matters.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm here to give you a big second to that because it absolutely matters. And you speak your reality. And I'm not saying that, you know, he deserved this in any way, but Clearly the universe thinks that we needed this for some reason. You know, maybe it is to bring us closer together.

Yeah. And we were, you know, talking about before the show, you're like, well, you know, what if something happened to me? And I'm like, you really need to focus on like being the healthiest that you can be because, and I was giving you the example of, you know, when I was started to play softball for this celebrity softball tournament and my husband was telling me, you don't even know how to play. Like. Oh my gosh, the ball's going to hit you in the face. And I had that healthy fear of, oh my gosh, what if the ball does hit me in the face? Like, and I was so focused on the fear of what if, what if, what if that ball hits me in the face? And the very first night that we came home to practice, you know, the sun was kind of going down and it was kind of hard to see. And I was focused on that ball hitting me in the face. And sure enough, it hit me in the face. Bloody nose. My nose was crooked. Oh my gosh. And I literally just like scooted it over. And the other night my daughter was like, mom, your nose is still a little bit crooked. And I'm like, no, it's fine. It is fine.

No, it's not. It's beautiful. It's perfect.

But I, I, well, thank you, but I just went back and started focusing on, okay, ball in the mitt, but not even just that. I started focusing on my intentions, like what my intentions were. I'm doing this to support the veterans. And I got out of my fear and out of like just myself and started focusing on the bigger picture. And, and I think this is a great opportunity for, yes, you and your husband to become even closer on this deeper level that people can't understand unless you have gone through something like this. You can share about it and try to teach about it, but man, when you are in it, you get it. But it's such An example for your daughters to see you and how you're both reacting in this situation. They are, you know, I know you know this, but they're just like sponges. And I know I didn't realize just how much my daughters picked up on everything that my husband and I did when I was confined to a hospital bed. And so there's just so many different learning opportunities in this situation, but it's interesting how you can definitely speak on. Confinement, as far as—

I know all sorts about more different kinds of time. And, you know, and I think I try to put on a brave face in front of both Ryan and the girls. But I also have grace with myself where, you know, in the morning, I allow myself to cry to and from my Starbucks run. And that's fine. And I know that crying isn't necessarily a pity party. It's just feeling the emotions that Frankly, are suppressed most of the day. When I see him getting up and he's in sheer agony, and it's really hard to watch somebody that you love be in pain like that. And that was something that I had never thought I was going to need to experience. You know, you never predict that. But I think that big part of it too is like, if you are the caretaker, knowing that it's okay to feel like this sucks. You know, and I think we do have to keep our heads up and we got to focus on what we want. But at the same time, sometimes things are just tough situations and it's okay to call it that. You know, like, this sucks. It's gonna eventually get better. And to allow the girls to feel that way too. They're disappointed, you know, and—

Mm-hmm.

But it's not forever. And I think what you're saying too is like, minimize the time, you know, maybe have a concentrated amount of time. where you're frustrated or you're disappointed, but then try to snap out of it and keep it moving the rest of the day so that you don't draw more of those things in. And the book too, it goes through 13 different client stories. I mean, these are super high-functioning, Type A, overachieving women that tend to be my clients. And each one of them definitely felt trapped. They felt stuck. They felt confined. At some part of their life, so it's great for readers to be able to go through and just skim a chapter and see which one you identify with. Because maybe you know you're somebody. There's a there's a chapter on there about being pushed out to pasture. You know, maybe you're a woman in your late 50s, early 60s, and you feel like you're just like kind of being written off at work, or they're just trying to kind of get you to move on. Or maybe you're just starting out and you're a road warrior, and you think. I only am in my 20s and my 30s to be earning years. So I need to sacrifice everything to just work, work, work, work, work. That is a cage. There are so many different cages that women are in at certain points in their life. But a big step of freeing yourself from that confinement is acknowledging that you're there and how you got there.

I think that's huge. I want to go back to what you were saying about how you allow yourself to have a little pity party and you cry and on the way to and from Starbucks, I, um, Um, my husband had a hard time seeing me cry. He would freak out. And I think that there's— when you were talking about seeing your husband in pain, I think the only thing worse than my pain is knowing that my pain is causing someone else pain. Like, I just didn't want that. But what I learned is like, I had to learn to cry. And I even cried in front of my daughters sometimes so that they would know it's okay to express your feelings. Like, it sucks right now, but we're going to get unstuck. And that's one thing that you help so many other women do is to get unstuck. And I know so many people do feel stuck right now.

You name it, we're stuck in it.

Stuck in it. Yeah. I mean, actually, I just got off of a call with a client who has been stuck in this relationship and it just cycles. And I think a lot of times it boils down to self-esteem and not feeling like you're worthy enough or good enough, you know, in my experience with different clients and myself, like it boils down to, I just don't feel like I'm enough or I'm good enough, my self-esteem or self, you know. And so what do you say to someone who comes to you and they're like, I just feel stuck. I'm not happy with my career and what I'm doing. What can I do different? Yeah.

Well, first off, I applaud them for the acknowledgement of that. It's one thing to feel stuck and then just complain about it and go out with your girlfriends and just have a session where everybody's complaining. Maybe you're trashing your husband, you're trashing your boss, and then you go back and you just do the same thing. You don't change anything. Even just acknowledging, I feel stuck. This is something that I don't feel I can tackle on my own anymore, and I need support. Right? So they come to you, or they come to me, or they go to Amazon and they buy a book. That maybe can be this catalyst for change. It shows that they're not apathetic to their situation. They're actually prepared to take some action. So bravo for that first step.

Mm-hmm.

The next thing I think is that you really do— in the book, I talk about going on like a brain diet. I think that we're, you know, a lot of times we're looking at what we're putting in our bodies, but we're not looking at what we're consuming. On social media, even on TV. You know, I think it doesn't have to be forever that you omit certain things. But at least at this phase, when you're trying to make big change and resistance will come in and try to hold you where you are, you need to make sure you're not friends with people who make you feel bad, friends who question your dreams, friends who question your capability or question your competence. You might need to say, you know what, I'm just gonna take a little break and focus on me for a couple months. You don't have to, you know, totally write them off the island yet. I think you need to look at who you're following on social media. I think people like you, Jesse Itzler, Ed Mylett— I mean, there's so many wonderful people out there to follow and get inspiration and motivation from. I say clean out who you're following. Make sure it's just that. You want to like eat, eat, eat clean, if you will, for your brain. Also, what TV shows are you watching? Are you watching a lot of stuff like true crime and this kind of stuff? I mean, it's kind of like a car wreck. People want to watch it. Are you watching a lot of news? Um, just detox all of that for a while until you start to feel strong enough that it's actually possible for some things to change. And then it depends on if there are tactical things that you can do immediately, like if it is specifically work. The book has all sorts of resources and exercises you can do, but I think to set your intention to be in soul alignment with what you manifested here to do— I mean, we're all just walking around in these meat suits for a certain amount of time, right? There will never be another right now. And so if you can just get whole with that and say, the intention for today is just— maybe it's just be in my body and be grateful for it. Maybe it's to really listen on this next call with this person, but get that intention going so that it's your default every morning. And I think just those few tweaks, you'd start to see some real changes in your physical reality.

That's so good. And you talk about soul alignment, and there are a lot of people that come to me and they're like, I don't know what my purpose is. I just had a new client tell me this yesterday, and she was like, well, I don't know what my true purpose is. My husband says I should do this, but this is what I do. And I feel called to do more motivational and inspirational things. And I'm like, well, what brings you joy? So I'm curious to see how you find some, if someone comes to you and they're like, I don't know how to get into my soul alignment and I don't know what my purpose is. What would you say to them?

Well, you nailed it. I mean, I think our only purpose Is to experience joy and love.

Really? So I said the right thing?

Of course you did. You know it all. No, I mean, it is. I think, you know, I think that when we're souls in a different dimension, we do have like a group of people, and we all make an agreement, we're going to go down, and this is what we want to experience this time. And as souls, there are no good or bad experiences, right? Maybe you really wanted to experience What happened, you know, in your accident and make it this wonderful thing that really catapulted you in a certain direction to be of service to other people. And it never would have really happened without that. But once we're here, and somebody dies, or somebody gets hurt, or there's hardship, all of a sudden, we don't want that agreement anymore. Right? We don't want to do that thing we agreed to, but we don't remember that we agreed to it. So then we curse God or the circumstances or the government or this or that. We blame everybody. And I think if we can get back to this place that experiences aren't bad until we label them bad, right? Like, there's so many philosophers, and even Thich Nhat Hanh used to say, maybe so, but I don't know. It's something like that. It was like, oh, maybe this— oh, that's so horrible that that accident happened to you. Maybe so. But I don't know, right? Like, maybe not.

I love that.

It actually wasn't. And so if we can just stay in that place of openness, and try to find the joy even in the pain, because even pain, sometimes it hurts so good. I think we just, our souls just want to experience intense emotion no matter what they are. But if we can just find things that feel good, I think that that's what our soul manifested here to feel. It just wants to be happy. So, like you said, even if it's, I don't know what my purpose is, I don't think we have to figure that out, Amberly. I think we just have to keep doing things that feel good and do more of those during the day.

I agree. I totally agree. Like, I think your purpose finds you, but we don't know if we're sitting around going, well, I don't know what my purpose is. It's like, well, go out and start doing things that light you up and bring you joy. And then You know, success leaves clues and all of a sudden you're, you're doing what you always dreamt of doing. And, and I'm glad you, you brought up about joy and pain because it wasn't until maybe a couple of years ago that I really experienced, because I have a lot of listeners, you know, that, that, that have pain, that have the nerve disease just like me or experience chronic pain. And I was teaching at this mastermind in Florida. And sometimes when I travel, it flares me up. And I'm telling you, I had the worst pain. Like, it was the worst flare-up to the kind where it comes all the way up and it like consumes my body. And it was so bad that after the 3rd day of teaching, and I suited up and I showed up every day and, you know, I did it. The 3rd day I got, we all ran and, you know, it was a long day. We ran out into the ocean and I was sandy and dirty and got back to my hotel room. I have never shared this before, but I was in so much pain that I didn't even shower off. I literally took my dress off and I always wash my face and brush my teeth. I didn't even do that. I got to my hotel room and I had to go straight into the bed, sand and everything.

Wow.

And just lay down and go to sleep. I just passed out.

Wow.

But what that experience taught me was in that moment, how important it is to experience joy. You can have pain and joy and choose to build upon the joy because overall I experienced so much joy and I put myself in a joyful place. And so I think it's important when you're going Through something like what you're going through right now, like to really put yourself around joyful people, make sure you go to joyful places, do things that still light you up, because it's easy to go into the—

Woe is me, or blame. I mean, the blame game too. Oh, it is. I mean, you want to talk about a ruthless killer? The blame game is something that you really got to watch yourself with because You're just so disempowering yourself anytime you, anytime you give somebody else control over your circumstances or how you felt. You made me feel this way, or this job doesn't value me and all this stuff. It's like, well, you don't. Everything's a mirror. Ever. You, your circumstances are exactly what you believe you deserve. And people do not like to hear that because—

Oh, it's so true. But we just shout that off the rooftops though.

Yeah.

Elizabeth. That is so good. And you know what? I had a therapist tell me that once I was complaining about my boyfriend that I was dating back then. And she goes, well, you teach people how to treat you.

Like, right.

It is a mirror, but it's hard.

If you want, well, and if you want somebody to love you, right, that reflection in your mirror that has to love you, like you, you have to treat yourself well. If you want your boss to promote you, You need to feel like you really deserve it and you need to act that way. I mean, to be in a relationship— there are client stories in the book too where they were in— I don't, I don't like to label anything toxic, but they had outgrown the relationship with their partner. Maybe there had been some substance abuse, the partner wasn't ready to get help, and they would feel really disempowered. I'm like, as much as it hurts to say, you dated that person. You married that person. You decided they were a good partner to have children with and tie yourself to them forever. Because I don't believe they were a completely different person and then one day decided to be an alcoholic, or one day decided to be a jerk or incompassionate or any of that. That was there. You knew on a soul level. And maybe you guys decided before you manifested, hey, this time around we're going to be married and I'm going to be an alcoholic.

Mm-hmm.

And you're gonna have to learn this lesson or grow through it. But they— a lot of times that's hard for them to hear that they sowed those seeds. Um, or even with children who have disabilities or sickness, it's— it can seem really incompassionate to say, well, you guys all decided this. You know, they're like, how did I manifest that? How did my child manifest this? But if you can get to a place of really truly believing everything happens for a reason, Then you can, you can cling to that faith that something good is coming from that versus it's not fair. Yeah.

So how did you get into believing that in this soul agreement, that we all have this soul agreement and we come down and we live out what we've agreed to? I'm, I'm, I love that you believe in like angel signs and that sort of thing too. So how did you start to understand about the soul agreement and then Yeah. And that helps you and you teach on that.

I feel like, you know, when you get uncomfortable in your life enough, you become a seeker, you kind of go back to school. And I had a tarot card tell me, you know, you're going to become a student again. And I thought, a student of what? Well, I mean, we're always students. But I think it was a student of really trying to understand and find meaning in why are we here? What does it look like in between lives? I believe in reincarnation. What does it look like when you go to another realm, whether you call it heaven, whether you call it, you know, a soul home? And so there are a few teachers that really fed that curiousness for me. Um, there's a book called Journey of Souls, and I can't recommend it enough. I think the author is Michael Newton. He is, I think, a guiding— I call him guiding lights in my book, Career Confinement. And that's the other thing about the book. It's kind of like Cliff Notes of all of these wonderful spiritual teachers that I've had. So you could go in and say, oh, I really like Michael Singer, I really like Eckhart Tolle, or these people, and then you can— that can be a launch pad to dive deeper into their work. So Journey of Souls talks about, um, it's these stories of these people who've done past life regression work with this psychologist, and they talk about what it looks like. And here's the thing, especially when you get people with near-death experiences all together, They're pretty much the same. I mean, there are some real, you know, similarities between a lot of people's, um, recollections of what happens. So that book was great. I really love Rebecca Campbell. She's really great to follow. She has a book called Starseeds. So these are for people who manifest and don't really feel like this is home.

I had somebody tell me once that I was a starseed.

Of course you are.

Explain what that is.

Yeah.

So I was like, what's a starseed?

So a starseed is usually somebody who's manifested many times, and the purpose of a starseed is a little bit different, I think, than maybe a younger soul. And a starseed is here to try to help be of service by raising consciousness. So the belief is that you decide where you want to be born, who the parents are. Sometimes starseed can have a huge geographic distance in between them. But a lot of times you just feel like you don't really fit, um, at least growing up. And you don't like small talk. You don't— there's a lot of empathic, um, qualities.

You could be describing me.

Like, I know. Well, that's why we get along. And anybody listening to this probably is too. But I've always longed to go home. And after we moved from Chicago to California a couple years ago, I was talking to my husband. I said, I'm just really homesick. And I started crying. And he goes, we can go to Chicago. And I go, not that. It's not that home, it's the other home, it's this other realm, it's this other heaven or whatever you want to call it. And the purpose of the Starseed not only is to like help spread consciousness and help other people along their paths, we're kind of like the flight attendants or the stewardesses, like on the plane, you're like helping people get to their, where they want to go. But at the same time, our purpose is to be okay being disconnected from our home. Which can feel really painful sometimes. Um, but I think with this, you open yourself up to being able to communicate. You mentioned angel signs. Like, I talk to my dead grandmas all the time. Like, they are so much more helpful to me right now than they ever were when they were alive. They send me signs, they send me messengers, they send me opportunities. And I think it's just a totally different perspective when you feel like there is There's not only God, you know, there is a whole horde of people in this other dimension that are rooting for you, and they're trying to comfort you while we're here.

I agree. And I always say my poor angels have worked overtime for me. They're all working overtime, man. They've been tired. In fact, yesterday, we— I was crossing the street and With my cousin, we were going to look at a house and I was crossing the street and the mailman nearly took me out, like nearly ran into me. And I was like, whoop, missed that. And my cousin was like, man, you, what is it with you? You've, you've, cars are just like attracted to you like a magnet. And I've actually been hit by a car 3 times.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah. So that's why, you know, my shirt says not dead.

Not dead yet.

Not dead yet. But yeah, I think, you know, I believe in signs. My sign is A dragonfly, a feather. And your sign is?

It's an orange bus. It's an orange VW bus.

I saw it in your story on Instagram.

Yeah. Every time I feel really down and out, an orange bus or any sort of, like, old VW bus will kind of show up. One day I had a really rough day, and my daughter just randomly brought home a picture of an orange bus that she just decided to draw. Just happened to be, you know, what was available in like the coloring station that day. And so I think some people can say, yeah, well, then your mind just looks for things that you tell it to look for. Okay, so what? So what? There's no harm in believing that you have some other entity supporting you. And every chapter of the book ends with what's the harm? You know, there is no harm in belief. It's not going to like hurt less when you're disappointed if you don't believe.

I—

clients always tell me, I don't, I don't want to get excited about this potential job opportunity or with you now, maybe a new house. I don't want to get my hopes up. Well, why not? I say get the hopes up high as they can be, because you're so much more likely to manifest that is that thing that you want when your vibe is high, because then it can meet you where you are. I think if we tamper our expectations, we just rob ourselves of the joy and excitement we could be feeling even in that space until you get that answer, right? Maybe your house falls through. Well, at least you had a fun 2 weeks of like visualizing and then something else is even better on the other side. But I think that that's really dangerous when people say, be realistic, don't get your hopes up.

I just had this conversation with my husband yesterday. I am not even kidding you. He, if you could have been in our house, it's like you knew we had this conversation. So yeah, he was like, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so excited. There's 28 beautiful trees. Like, this is what I've dreamt of. Like, this is amazing. And he's like, well, don't get your hopes up. We haven't, you know, we got a lot. We'll see. It could fall through. And I'm like, okay, don't be a doggy downer. Like, I want to be excited about this. You know what I mean? But on the other hand, I do understand, like, When you, let me give you an example. Um, so living with chronic pain, the kind of pain that like just wants to constantly take you down, it's like tapping you on the shoulder going, hey, remember me? Remember me? Hey, over here, over here. They have these treatments, like, and one of them is a spinal block and it will get you out of pain. Like you have no pain.

Yeah.

Like I had no pain for a day, like a day. I had no pain. And you're just like, oh my gosh, I'm cured. This is what it's like to feel good. I feel so good. And then I'm walking through the market and the pain starts again. And so it's like your hopes are up and then bam, you come crashing down and it can be a roller coaster.

Yeah.

An emotional roller coaster. So what do you say to somebody who's like, but I've been hurt so much. I don't want to get my hopes up. How do I stay open to being more joyful or hopeful or having expectations?

Well, let me ask you, Amberly. So if you would have, instead of feeling like, oh, I'm cured, this is incredible. If you would have spent that 24 hours being like, oh, But I know it's going to come back. I know it's, I know it's going to come back. I wonder when. Would that have been a good use of that 24 hours?

No, but neither would probably going to the market. I should have done something really fun. I should have done that, like really fun. But no, I was shopping for the family.

It was probably still something that was impactful to you of like, I can do an everyday thing without pain.

Yeah, it was. It was like, oh my gosh. And, and believe it or not, just walking. It's weird, but going to the market or the mall or anything with a hard surface where I have to stand in place too long, like I've actually sat down in the middle of the floor in Target before.

Yeah.

So yeah, it did. It brought me relief. It brought me comfort. It brought me, it brought me hope, you know, like, right. Oh my gosh. You know, like, and then I had to, you know what I had to focus on was. Well, if I could get out of pain, then there's a chance that I can do that again. So that's where I put my focus, not on, well, see, there's no cure. I'm in pain. Like, it's so important, right? Resilient, what you put your focus on. And I constantly have to shift my perspective. And I think that you're really good at doing that too. And I know we're running out of time. Do you have a few more minutes?

Yeah.

Because I have just a couple more things that I think are really super important. I'm going to shift this whole conversation because I don't want to leave this out. So I want to get to how you work with women that are mostly in a male-dominated field. I've been that way almost my whole, ever since my fitness career, you know, I would be the only trainer in the gym with a lot of meatheads, like big, strong, tough guys. I loved it. I had a great time. I could hold my own, but it was a male-dominated You know, work environment when I was there. Now being a speaker, and you and I have talked about this off air, and this is where I'm going to get deep, and I keep it real here on the show. And so in the speaking world, you and I have talked where I've been hired for events where I'm like, I, and I'll go to my husband. I'm like, well, I'm the only female speaker again. He's like, oh, that's awesome. I'm like, no, we need more females. And I just, you know, went to my coach who happens to be a male. And I was like, man, I'm doing this one event and I'm the only female. And I'm speaking with some really high-powered, like, incredible men that I love, but they've got me like in the background, kind of shaded out in the corner. And it's like, and this speaker and this speaker. And he, his advice to me was good. Well, let that, let it be a little chip on your shoulder. And then you show up at that event and you bring the thunder. And so I've been like thinking, I am going to bring the thunder. So I just found out at one event that I was speaking at the night before that they thought I was a feminist. And I was like, I told my husband, I was like, a feminist? What's feminist, honey? Like, what, what is, what does he mean? They're like, because I have a mastermind for women. I was called a feminist because I'm trying—

and that's a bad thing—

do my best to empower women. And I'm like, but did this person see that my speaker lineup, I, I have one token man in my group, but yet I'm a feminist because I have one token man and it's a group for women. And I was letting it kind of get in my head and I was like, gosh, should I message the person? Is, is feminist a bad thing? What would you do then in that situation? You know, like. Is that a bad thing? Like I was actually asking all these questions and my husband was like, no, don't message him. You just show up at that event and you do a great job.

Yeah.

And I feel like it was one of those things. I wasn't as prepared as I usually am. I've been very eventful. I'd just gotten back from another event and I'm launching my mastermind. And I went to that event, Elizabeth, I got my first standing ovation.

Of course I did.

And that guy was kissing my ass after. I bet.

And guess what? You should have said, this is what a feminist looks like. Because to try to weaponize the word feminism really burns me. Because all feminist is, is that you believe everybody should be equal.

Yeah.

It isn't I'm better than you, or we deserve some sort of preferential treatment. It's not man-hating. It's just that we just believe in Yes. That's all feminism is. So I think that that's wonderful that they were actually— that was something that they got. It's on them if they decide to make that a negative. But I think you being, you know, the token woman a lot of times that you felt, and you're gorgeous and you're blonde and you're thin and you're Texan, and you know what I mean? Like, all of these things, they're just— man, you just fit right in there. But what they don't realize is that you're a unicorn. And then they get you there. And then that's fine if this is the way I get in. And if you want to dilute it down to we need to find a woman and she fits it, that's fine. But then you go there and then you own it. You know what I mean? You own the stage and you command the support and the engagement that only you can. Right? And then that's a wonderful opportunity for you to be able to change Their perspective. Maybe the next time they do that event, they will think to have 2 women or 3 women, or maybe they have it equal. How about that? But I think with a lot of women that come to me, and really hyper male-dominated fields are tech, medicine, finance, insurance is actually really heavily male, even real estate. And so these women come, and a lot of times they feel like they second-guess whether they should speak up in a meeting. It can be little things like this. And these are like C-suite level women.

Really? See, I've always— I speak up and I'm not afraid to look stupid.

Good for you.

And you know what? That's the thing. Like, you have to speak up. But what do you think it takes to get more maybe comfortable in your own skin? I don't know. What does it take for someone to speak up more?

Well, I think you have to start. You have to start small. I think it's also in that specific instance, I'll work with clients and we'll go through an agenda. What is it you want to say? Map out 3 talking points that you want to make sure that you hit. Give yourself a goal for that meeting to speak up 3 times, but make sure you're not just filling space. You're not just jabbering. You have— you sit and you wait for an opportunity to say something powerful, something that shows your intelligence and that you don't just need to talk to hear yourself speak. And I think— but that's important. Preparation is everything. Make sure that if you have a one-on-one with your boss coming up, I always tell people to send an agenda. And they're like, well, they're just casual conversations.

Nope.

Ask for recurring weekly calls. And I want you to send an agenda 24 to 48 hours prior about what it is you want to cover. And then you let them have an opportunity to speak as well for whatever wins or obstacles they see or areas of improvement. So you actually invite the criticism in, right? But it's really about taking charge of the situation, not waiting to be reactive and letting somebody else dictate how that meeting is going to go for you. You have to decide how it's going to go and then make a plan and then work the plan.

Well, what do you tell someone who is maybe really nervous about it, um, to do?

Yeah, well, I think that Really great to tap. If anybody's familiar with emotional frequency technique, I think is what it's called. EFT tapping can be 5 minutes, it can be 8 minutes, and you actually go through acupressure points on your body. Um, Nick Oringer has a wonderful app that has all sorts of tapping.

And that's been around forever. Like, I had someone do tapping with me. Oh my goodness. Years ago, probably 20 years ago. And I was like, What is this? But now it's like, especially I think with social media, so many people have heard about it. But do you do tapping?

I do. I mean, look on Instagram too and just hashtag tapping or EFT and look, and there will be somebody who will do a reel, which is 5 minutes long or something that will show you. But tapping is something that has really helped. It's one of the only ways to overcome your subconscious mind and subconscious programming that is telling you Some a-hole probably told you one day what you said in that meeting was stupid, and your brain took a snapshot of that and said, okay, now when I speak up in meetings, it's stupid. So I need to watch that. Our survival brain is trying to protect us, but that's not the case anymore. But sometimes we need something to override that programming, and that's a really great way to do it.

That's so good. I am going to tell one of my clients that. That is good. I need to get I want to get into that more because what I do when I get nervous is I do pushups.

That's great.

Breathe more. But like at this last event, I was like, I was sitting and they had me sit at this like speaker table in the very front. And I'm used to it in-person events being kind of off to the side or backstage or even in the back of the room and walking up. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm, I'm here in the front and, uh, I can't do my pushups. And I was starting to feel the adrenaline going and everything. I was like, oh my gosh, I can't do pushups. What am I going to do? I do pushups even if I'm doing a virtual talk and I'm here in my office, I'm down doing pushups and that helps. But then also, if I'm there, would I start just like tapping?

Well, you can very kind of inconspicuously tap the side of your hand or another acupressure point. You could just sit there and hold kind of the webbing in between your thumb and your forefinger to press on that gently. It is an autonomic I think nervous system release in some way. So there are different little pressure points. I think there's a spot on your knee if you had your legs crossed that you could even press on that. Listen, even if it's placebo, who knows? It still feels like you're doing something. And anytime you feel like you're doing something, that survival brain that wants to tell you that this is something to be fearful of, you can say, you know, I'm just really excited.

Yeah.

I am really excited to get on that stage. And I'm going to do a few little things. You can make a new routine and go in and know that there are no mistakes. So no matter what happens on that stage, it's for your higher good.

Oh, I love that. It's just a whole different way of looking at things. Okay. So I could seriously talk to you all day. I adore you. So 13 different big, like, Lessons in the book. And what do you think is the most in thing that's the common that people come up to you, women come to ask you for advice on the most common thing that they are frustrated with or they have problems with, they need, like, what do I do?

I think they just have a lack of clarity and that can be in so many different areas of their life. And the first thing I tell them to do is to tap into their spiritual board of advisors. I feel like you have to know that there is a whole crew, and you have to start talking to them, your angels. You have to start asking for signs. You have to have something override your rational brain that says we're just here alone. We are not. We are all connected. We are one consciousness, and we are designed to seek support. It doesn't have to be from somebody on this physical plane. They are very active, and they can absolutely help you. So ask for clarity in some area of your life, ask for a specific sign, and then focus on finding it like a scavenger hunt and watch. And that opens up a whole new world for you, Amberly.

I love that. So I would think that if you're numbing out with either, you know, scrolling through social media or alcohol or drugs, when you're stressed out, you aren't present enough to see those signs.

Right. And I think knowing when you're numbing, and knowing that that is a symptom of some real dis-ease, some restlessness in your life— workaholics as well, people who are just constantly on the go— you are numbing something. A lot of people don't say meditation doesn't work for me. I don't like to meditate. I'm like, what are you terrified is going to come through? What are you terrified that your thoughts are going to tell you? Maybe it's, you need to get out of this marriage. You need to move. You are settling. You are playing small. We have to let that voice speak to us. Otherwise, she's either going to have a tree fall in front of us, have somebody get hurt to wake us up, or even worse, she's going to stop trying. Your soul will stop trying to speak to you, and then that'll be endgame.

Wow, that's powerful. That is powerful. I want to read your entire book. I'm so excited for you. Tell people the best way to get your book.

Yeah, so it's on Amazon, everybody's favorite shopping platform, on September 13th. And you can listen. I painfully recorded an Audible. I'm going to apologize for any trip-ups that I do in it. Um, but you can get an Audible.

So you already recorded your Audible?

I did. Yeah.

That's amazing. You must have an incredible publisher.

Yeah, it's, it was good. I'm an Audible listener. I love podcasts.

I like Audible too. Yeah.

So when I'm working out, I like to listen to a book. And so I wanted to make it available to women and men who are busy and they just want to listen to it in the car, or they read at night and it puts them to sleep right away. So the Audible and, and hardcover are available and the ebook are all available on Amazon September 13th.

So excited, y'all. Go check out her book. But also, if you want to learn more about her, listen to her podcast. She is one of these podcasters that is so good at what she does, the questions that she asks and the detail and everything that she puts into her podcast. So go check out her podcast, which is Ascend and Transcend. Um, and Tell us your website. So, and your, where you hang out most, is it mostly on Instagram?

Yeah. Instagram is just coach.elizabeth.pearson and elizabethpearson.com is the website. There's also like sorts of free content. I love putting out free content videos. Some of these exercises to tune into your angel signs are all there on, on YouTube and stuff like that. So just go check it out and get the freebies.

Yeah. And yes, thank you so much for being on the show and I am rooting for you that you will like Maybe do one book signing.

I appreciate it, girl. I'm gonna try. You've, you've inspired me. Even the words of your husband ring in my ears. Just get out there. Just do something. Even if it's close to home, I'm gonna, I'm gonna try to give this book the love, but I'm also gonna tag you and say, I'm just gonna have the grace with myself and with whatever's unraveling is all what's the best for me, even if I don't have to understand it right now.

Yeah, I've, you know, sometimes when we're going through those hard situations, It's hard to imagine that there is something so good, like a blessing that's coming, but there always is like something, just a huge blessing that you could never imagine, um, until you get through that situation. So I'm rooting for you.

Thank you.

You guys, um, all the information is in the show notes. If you're listening on your favorite, you know, whatever it's Spotify, iTunes, whatever, or you're watching on YouTube. Take a screenshot and share it and tag me and Elizabeth. And when I see that, I— and our handles are in the show notes as well. When I see that, I share it back. Let's spread the love. Um, let's empower each other to find more joy. And yes, Elizabeth, I am so excited for you. Congratulations on your new book. And thank you with everything that you have going on for taking the time. Thank you. To be on the show.

Yeah, you're one of the most generous people I've ever met, and I appreciate you, and I appreciate your listeners, and I know there's going to be a lot of love going around. So thanks in advance.

Thank you, and y'all thanks for tuning in. I'll see you next week.