Healthy and Happy Homes During a Pandemic with Dr. Elisa Song

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert and bestselling author.

Each week, I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought leaders and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace. Thank you for being here. I really appreciate you tuning in. I think we have all had our fair share of challenges, disappointments, and in the new year, gosh, I think we just need to start off with some positive habits, a set of goals, and some new dreams, and to go bigger and play bigger. I think the message of resilience is truly what we all need most as we enter 2021. So I really hope you'll join me for Brooke Hemingway's Align Resilience virtual event. I'm so excited to share the secrets to tapping into your superpower of resilience and thriving no matter what life throws your way, no matter if things don't go as planned, that you can still have the life that you have always imagined. Some of my good friends, closest friends, and people who I really love and look up to are going to be at the event as well. So Samantha Harris will be there. Trent Shelton will be there. Tiffany Peterson. So go to amberlylago.com under events, and you can find more information about Align Resilience and really start the new year with clarity, goals, and tools to be more resilient. And I have some exciting news. I am doing my very first virtual book club. I'm, I'm teaming up with High Tide and we're doing our very first true Grit and Grace Book Club, and it's not just like any old book club where you read a book. This is 28 days of micro lessons to generate more gratitude, to discover self compassion, and the secrets to resilience and to being more resilient and thriving. So you're going to have in the book club, you know, your daily companion course. You'll be able to connect with like-minded people. You'll have support. And accountability and Q&A with me. We're going to meet on Zoom. There'll be plenty of time to connect and ask questions, and it's going to be real-time lessons as we do this together. So again, go to amberlylago.com under events, and you can find the True Grit and Grace Book Club with High Tide that I'm doing. And if you have any questions, you can always text me. At 818-214-7378 and reach out, ask me any questions about either one of these events. And I really want to start this new year off together, 'cause together we're stronger. Together we are unstoppable. Now let's get on to the show. If you're concerned about keeping your family safe and healthy during this quarantine, and you want to know what to do, God forbid you get COVID, or when you get COVID, then you are in You're in the right place. It's time to prioritize your family's health, your health, your children's health. And today I have a special guest. Her name's Dr. Elisa Song, and she is so passionate about what she does. She is a holistic pediatrician, pediatric functional medicine expert, and she's such a fun mama. Both of her children actually had COVID, and you might be surprised at some of the things that she did to see them to a full recovery a lot faster than imagined. In In her integrative pediatric practice, Whole Family Wellness, she's helping kids get to the root causes of their health concerns and helping their parents understand how to help them thrive body, mind, and spirit. She's created Healthy Kids, Happy Kids to share her advice, and she has so many resources and tips and tools that she shares during this episode. So make sure you listen to the end so you can get those. resources that I'm talking about. And without further ado, here is Dr. Elisa Song.

Dr. Elisa Song, welcome to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I've been so excited to have you on. Thank you for being here.

Oh, thank you, Amberly. I'm honored to be here and talk with you and your audience.

Yes, I've been— well, as we were talking before we started, I've been stalking you and soaking in all the information that you share. And really what attracted me to you most was your passion for what you do. So before— I've got so many topics I want to talk to you about, your hot topics, including COVID and the health concerns that our children are going through right now. But before we get started with that, can you just share a little bit about your upbringing and what inspired you to become a doctor?

Well, it's interesting because my mother, she grew up in South Korea during the Korean War. And she was raised by her mother. Her father passed when she was really young. So my aunt and my mother were, you know, these daughters of a schoolteacher. And I think, you know, my grandmother always instilled in them the importance of education, even back then growing up in the '40s and '50s in Korea. She just had this drive to learn and to serve, and she's really been my inspiration. And, you know, she immigrated to— well, actually, I should back up. She was actually one of 5 woman in her graduating medical school class. I mean, that was a huge deal back then. And so she came to the United States, I mean, halfway around the world in 1968 to do her residency in OB-GYN in New York. So, I mean, just so brave and such a pioneer. I mean, I can't even imagine doing that on my own back then, right? When it was so hard to stay connected, there was no FaceTime, there was no Zoom. I mean, phone calls were hard and very expensive. But she did it and she built this thriving practice. And the funny thing is growing up, I never wanted to be a doctor. I mean, that was like the last thing I wanted to do. I'm like, I'm not going to do what my mom did. But as I went to college, I really, I recognized that my passion was really to serve children.

Oh.

So I didn't know if that meant being a teacher. I actually took the LSATs. I was going to be a civil rights lawyer and work for the Children's Defense I mean, there were all of these, you know, these dreams of mine. And then when it came down to it, I realized, you know, I really wanna work with kids on a day-to-day basis. And, you know, being in Washington, D.C., fighting for kids' rights, I mean, that's amazing and so needed, but I probably wouldn't work with kids that much. So it was literally the summer between my junior and senior year, I decided to go to medical school. So I was scrambling and, you know, and then what was fascinating then, you know, life just happens in the way it's meant to. So as soon as I decided, okay, I'm gonna, take the MCAT, I'm gonna be a pediatrician. I remember I was, I went to, I did my undergraduate at Stanford and I saw this flyer on a big telephone pole and whatever, who knows what got into me as a, you know, a 20-year-old to look at this flyer and think, oh, I might be interested in that. It was a flyer for a meeting at the Santa Clara Convention Center for the American Holistic Medical Association, which doesn't exist anymore. It's kind of morphed into other organizations.

Hmm.

But I went, I don't even remember how I got there 'cause there was no Uber and I don't think I had a car. You know, but I went and I was just fascinated because there were speakers that now are very well known, but back then were hardly known. Deepak Chopra. Wow. Andrew— yeah, Andrew Weil. I mean, they were just kind of coming out with this new field of holistic medicine, integrative medicine. And so I remember going back to my mom and saying, you know what, I want to be a doctor, but I want to be a naturopathic doctor. And she's like, what is that? So, so even back then, I mean, and I ended up— I mean, no one in my circle of friends or family knew what a naturopathic doctor was back then. I remember getting the application, you know, to Bastyr. And so the timing wasn't right for that.

Mm-hmm.

I didn't have enough support to pursue that. But in a way, I'm so glad that I was able to pursue a medical doctorate degree so I could really fully understand the conventional world And then still pursue this passion that was always in the back of my mind once I finished residency to learn acupuncture and homeopathy and nutrition and functional medicine. So I love what I do now. I wouldn't practice medicine any other way.

Well, I think it's so important. And, you know, I wish that I and my mother knew doctors like you when I was growing up. I just thought of something, you know, when I was little, I had constant kidney infections and bladder infections. And from the time I was in diapers, my mom discovered that something wasn't right. And so I had to have a surgery when I was very young. And I was on medication and I never liked taking the medication. And my mom told me that she used to find pills hidden all over the house. I would put them in plants and under furniture. Now, I don't know why I didn't just throw them in the trash. Or I didn't, or I didn't speak up and say, Mom, I don't want to take this medicine. There has to be another way. But I love your approach in that it seems like you really look outside the box and you approach mind, body, and spirit healing. And I want to backtrack to something else that you said about you just happened to look up at this sign, at this post that led you to go to hear these speakers, which really changed your life. You were like, this is what I want to do. I see in everything that you share that you are very aware of the little signs. Like, you had a post about the hummingbird and what the hummingbird represents to you. And I think that if we're all a little more— if we open our eyes and we're awake and we pay attention to what's going on, we can be aware of those little signs that guide us. We can be more in tune with our bodies and listen to our bodies and find other answers. But I wanted to ask you a hot topic around our house. Speaking of, you know, all different kinds of medicines and vaccines and stuff is we've been talking about COVID and the vaccine.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm so curious to know what you think about the vaccine. Because for me, I'm like, I— and some people might think this is crazy, but I don't really want to take the vaccine right away. I'm like, no, let's let them test that for— I don't want that. But my husband is going to be first in line. Like, he—

Mm-hmm.

And so— and I'm also not one to go get a flu shot. I would rather do other things to build up my immunity than go get a shot of something and take the risk of getting sick.

I don't know.

Everybody had each their own opinion about it.

That's right.

But I'm very curious to think, how do you feel about the vaccine? And what would you suggest for families like me who I'm like, I don't want our daughter getting the vaccine. I don't want the vaccine. And my husband's like, oh, she's getting the vaccine. You're getting the vaccine.

Yeah, you know, this is— it's such a hot-button topic. And even before the COVID-19 vaccine was even, you know, a thought, you know, in the years past, it's been such a challenging issue for parents to navigate. And, you know, the one thing that I tell parents is— and, you know, I just posted this on Instagram because I had to make it really clear— that I am not 100% anti-vaccine. I am not 100% pro-vaccine. What I am is 100% pro-child. And I really believe that taking a personalized approach to your child's health and wellbeing is really key to helping them thrive in the long run.

Mm-hmm.

And with this COVID-19 vaccine, what we do know is there's never ever been a vaccine that's been fast-tracked like this before. And even the heads, Dr. Fauci, Dr. Paul Offit, who is one of the most staunch vaccine advocates, have very, you know, big concerns about a fast-tracked vaccine. Now, there's been reports and, you know, In pandemic times, things change from week to week. And, you know, by the time this airs, we may be in a different position. But at the moment, there are a couple of vaccines who just came out with news that they are over 90% effective, over 95% effective. And if there is a safe and effective vaccine for this pandemic, I think that would be wonderful. But the key is safe and effective. So we might have the effective piece, but safety really requires long-term studies. What we do know is, you know, for instance, for Pfizer, and for Moderna for their vaccines, once they can show effectiveness, they need at least 2 months of following patients in the trials to determine safety. So we still have a little ways to go. And then what people need to remember is even once the vaccine receives the emergency use authorization by the FDA, because it's being fast-tracked, it's called the EUA, it's still not gonna be widely available for like the common folks like us, right? I mean—

Yeah.

We're not gonna have that option for a while. I mean, there's still major questions and ethical concerns about, well, who should be first in line for the vaccine? Should it be the frontline healthcare workers? Should it be essential workers? I mean, who's gonna be in line for that? And perhaps I might be as a pediatrician in a clinic, but for the most part, most of us, we're gonna be waiting well into 2021. There is a concern from rheumatologists that what we don't know about this vaccine, because it's an mRNA technology, which is a technology that has been around for a while, it's been around for quite a while, but we haven't used this particular kind of vaccine in human beings. So we don't know.

Oh, that's so interesting because just last night my husband was like, oh, and this is a vaccine that has been tested on Well, it has been, but we haven't used it for years and years and years in humans.

We've never used this kind of technology. So the vaccines that your children get are not mRNA vaccines. And there are concerns regardless with vaccines possibly triggering autoimmunity. And some of the top rheumatologists, you know, even at Cleveland Clinic, you know, highly respected centers, have concerns that we just don't know. You know, there was a statement that was made. There's a, quote, small elephant in the room.

Uh-huh.

which I would say is a big elephant in the room, of whether or not this vaccine could worsen autoimmunity in patients.

Wow.

And so, you know, I think we just have to step back and see. You know, we all have our different experiences and emotions around vaccines, but what I encourage parents to do is not make these decisions based on fear one way or the other. Really try to, you know, get the research as much as possible and base your opinions on the evidence at hand. And, you know, for families who, want to be first in line for the vaccination, understanding that there may be some risks that we don't know because we're not going to have years and years of studies, and supporting your kids. I mean, that's what I do. I do give vaccines in the office and I help children prepare. And so we just want to know, for some kids, if they are having trouble with detoxification or mitochondrial issues or methylation issues, we can support your child so that they can more safely receive vaccines with the positive benefits without the unintended negative effects.

Well, I think what you said is so powerful. Make your decision not from a place of fear, but from the facts. Like, look at the facts and each child or person as an individual. And I think that's important with everybody and their feelings and how safe they feel getting back into the real world. As things start to open up, and which, who knows, every day is just changing every day. And, and sometimes I think, oh, it's starting to open up, and, you know, the gym opened, and oh nope, it's closed again. And, you know, I think it's part of our resilience is being able to kind of adjust quickly and go with the flow.

And, um, well, I think if anything, you know, this year, I mean, it's all about resilience, right? And you talk about resilience, and we need this emotional resilience and physical resilience. And, you know, for me, I talk about, well, how do we build that cellular resilience, right? No matter what happens, our cells, our emotions, our body, we take hits every day. That's life, right? And if we didn't have any stressors on our body, we would never have that opportunity to grow and get stronger. And so it really is about, you know, how do we understand how to build the foundations of resilience in your children, not just psychologically and emotionally, but physically and immunologically, so that whatever happens, whether it's COVID or whether it's school stress or whether it's the anxiety of not being around friends, we, we can come out of this. I mean, the pandemic has brought so many more stressors than we could have ever imagined, and it's testing all of our resilience, right?

Mm-hmm.

But this is an opportunity that we, I think, as parents can help our children understand, well, how do we get through this in a resilient way, not in a way that will have more long-term impacts that we don't want for them.

Well, how would you suggest that, that parents teach their kids resilience through some of these challenging times? Because I know it is different. Not, you know, my daughter's still not— well, she's in virtual school. She hasn't been able to really see her friends. And so it is not just the physical, it is the emotional. And I love that you talk about, as a doctor, not just the physical, but the spiritual aspect of it too, like how to keep your spirits up, how to keep your light shining bright throughout this. What are some of the tools that you share with your patients to make sure that they're coming out of this as resilient as they can possibly be?

This is so important. I think as parents, as mothers, I mean, our kids are so in tune with how we're responding to stress. stressful situations. And it's really important also for us to do that hard work, you know, to build up our own emotional resilience, right? Because our kids, they will respond to stressors. They will look to us to see how bad is this situation? How much danger am I in? You know, physically, emotionally, whatever it is, right? You know, how should I respond? And so, you know, it's really important that for us to parents, oh honey, it's going to be okay. We'll just, you know, pretend it's not here. You know, we're going to have our own little pod and we're going to come out of it the other end, because that's not realistic either, right? One of the things we know that there's an epidemic of anxiety in our kids and our teenagers. The signs of anxiety can show up most of the time for teenagers who are diagnosed with anxiety. There were signs of developing anxiety disorders even as young as 6, right? When they're in kindergarten or first grade.

And what are some of those signs? What do they look like?

Well, you know, for kids, of course, when they're that little, they're not necessarily going to say, Mommy, I'm anxious, right? That's not really a word that's used in their vocabulary. But for a lot of kids, we may find sleep disturbances, some behavior changes, you know, separation anxiety that's worsening, right? School refusal. You know, there can be food restrictions or cravings. I mean, you want to look to see, is there a change in behavior that wasn't there before? That is getting worse and worse. And oftentimes parents will notice, okay, well, sure, kids starting school, of course they don't want to leave my side and it's hard to move beyond. But after a month or two, if that's not improving, then we want to look to see what else is going on for them. What is happening in their world that is making them feel unsafe about going to school, right? As kids get older and older and have stressors, when I talk about stress with kids and parents in my office, I let them know stress, that word stress, we all think, oh, stress is negative. Stress by itself is not a bad thing, right? Stress actually helps us to get things done, right? If you have a deadline and you're stressed about it, you sit down and you do the work, right? If we don't have a deadline, we never finish, right?

Mm-hmm.

You know, if we're stressed, you know, in that fight or flight mode, and let's say we're walking in the dark and we hear footsteps behind us and our heart rate's beating and we're like, okay, what do I do? we're ready to either fight or flee, right? That's that response. It's just that when we feel that, that fight or flight, we're running, running, running, or freezing, or trying to fight soccer practice and friend drama and family stress and homework and all of that. And we feel like we're constantly running, you know, from that proverbial saber-toothed tiger. That chronic stress is what leads to anxiety, disorders or immune dysfunction, right? Because stress, psychological stress, creates just as much inflammation as any physical stress or infection. So we need to understand that and know when we have these acute stressors, we want to help our children understand how to navigate the stressors, not ignore them, right? Not pretend like they're not there because avoidance is one of the— It's one of the tools that many of us have learned as parents, right? It's one of the tools that we teach our children, but avoidance is one of the worst things you can do because then that it gets bigger and bigger and bigger, right?

It does. And you know, I, it was all about that growing up for me. It was all about avoidance. And I tell you, it gets bigger and bigger and bigger until one day you're like, oh, it's so big that you have to take a look at it because it does. It creeps up into every aspect of your life, whether as a parent, it will show up and, you know, the stressors will show up in my parenting and my relationships and my job. And so I love that you share that. Yeah, no, it's not about avoidance. It's about you got to deal with it. You can't just— because, and I think, um, that avoidance as we become adults, it can start to look like covering up by eating too much, drinking too much, shopping too much, dating too much.

That's right.

All of that. And to avoid the big elephant in the room.

Yeah, 100%. And this is where, you know, I have 2 very different children and, you know, they teach me so much. My daughter, she's gonna be 11 soon. And she's the kind of kid, she's always been the kind of kid that I would describe as really, truly innately having that grit and resilience, right? You know, even as a toddler, if she was frustrated by not being able to get, you know, square into the shape sorter, she would sit there and just work at it and do it, right? When she wanted to learn how to do a cartwheel, she, she would go quietly into her room or in the front yard and be like, what's she doing? And then like 2 hours later, she'd come back and be like, Mommy, I can do a cartwheel, right?

Wow.

So that's her. You know, I've never had to push her to overcome challenges. Um, my son, on the other hand, he's my sensitive soul. Right? And so when something gets frustrating, it's the tears and, Mommy, I can't do it. It's too hard. And that, as a mother, right, that tugs at your heart. You're like, oh, okay, let me, let me, let me help you. Let me fix it for you. And I've, I've gotten so much better now at stepping back and saying, look, I know it's hard. I know this is challenging, but you can do hard things. And let's try to problem solve this together, right? Instead of doing it for him. It's really important to have our children understand that when something is challenging or hard, They can, they can figure out how to fix things or solve things, resolve things on their own. Yeah.

And I think that's important because, uh, you know, I learned at a young age I needed to— I mean, there were 7 of us kids all together, and my mom didn't have time to fix things for me or do help with a lot of things. She— I mean, she's an incredible mom, but I really learned to be self-reliant. I had to learn to cook. I had to learn to get my homework done. If I wanted something, I had to learn to work for it. And for me, one of the struggles I think is I want to give my kids more than what I had. I want to help them. And it's a, it's a fine line of like giving them too much, but also showing them that they have to work for it, that they have to figure things out. That's so hard.

It's such a fine line. But, you know, as a parent, you just keep telling yourself, When they, every time they can overcome a challenge, they build more confidence that, yes, I'm strong and I'm brave and I'm resilient. And the next challenge, they'll be able to face it even better. So, and this all comes down to, it's a whole body approach, right? When we learn resilience and we learn these strategies to overcome challenges, that actually sets the stage for our nervous system to get into more readily that parasympathetic nervous system. state, right? That kind of rest, digest, and heal state. It's what some people will call like the zone, right? Athletes, right? They, they go into that zone where they visualize and they get into that calm, alert state where they know they're confident that they can succeed. Authors, you know, artists will, will use this, the autonomic nervous system, to really become more creative. People have used it to come over addictions, you know, improve attention and focus. And they're called— they call it different things. Right. But bottom line, this all goes back to how do we engage our vagus nerve, right? How do we optimize something called heart rate variability? And in this time of COVID it is fascinating because I, you know, we all think of, oh, vagus nerve, heart rate variability. Sure, let's meditate. Let's do our belly breathing. You know, let's practice gratitude. But I'll do that when I have time for it, right? Right now, I'm going to focus on all the other things that I need to do, like exercise and sleep and and eat healthily, which absolutely 100% you need. But I would say that during this time, during the pandemic, where we're all, you know, experiencing stressors like we've never before, improving our vagus nerve function is one of the best ways to build cellular resilience against infections, against whatever is going to come our way. And there's some fascinating research now, just 2 patients who were treated In the hospital with COVID-19, at risk for being admitted to the ICU, the intensive care unit, and they did auricular transcutaneous vagus nerve stimulation, so ear clips to stimulate the vagus nerve, with a protocol that was— I can't remember the exact protocol, but they did the same protocol for these 2 patients, and they monitored them with blood work and, of course, clinical progress. Rapid reduction In their levels of inflammatory cytokines, especially interleukin-6, which is implicated in cytokine storm and sepsis. Rapid clinical recovery.

Wow.

Right.

Well, tell— I know what the vagus nerve is because I actually had a doctor that wanted to do an implant, a stimulator into my vagus nerve. Tell our audience what exactly that is and what the vagus nerve is responsible for, because it does a lot. It's responsible for a lot of the functions of the body. But can you tell us a little bit about what it is, where it is, and what it does?

Yeah, so, um, there— the vagus nerve is, is, it's called the wandering nerve. It's one of the longest nerves in our body, um, that, that comes from our brain kind of right through our ear, behind our ear, down our neck to innervate, to connect with every single internal organ. Now, we think of the vagus nerve with the gut, but there's also, you know, innervations that go to the kidneys and the heart. And the vagus nerve is the nerve that is responsible for that rest, digest, and heal state, that parasympathetic nervous system that balances the fight-or-flight sympathetic nervous system. And we need a balance, right? You know, when we need to be on alert, then we need the sympathetic to be up. But once the danger is gone, we need this to come down and our parasympathetic nervous system and our vagus nerve to take hold. And we need that for optimal functioning. One of the ways that we can measure indirectly vagus nerve functioning is something called heart rate variability. Now, heart rate variability, there are some machines that can detect that, but one of the things that we can do, you know, right here now, you could do this, you could put your finger on your neck and find your heart rate, or you can use your wrist. And then as you find your heart rate, you just take a big breath in. And as we take a big breath in, our heart rate should speed up. And as we take a big slow exhale, our heart rate should slow down, right? That's called respiratory sinus arrhythmia. Very normal. And our children should have quite a big distinction between when they breathe in and when they exhale.

Right.

Well, thank you for that.

I love just everybody just take a deep breath.

That's right, just breathe.

Well, I mean, sometimes I'm throughout my day and I'm like, my breathing is shallow. I'm not breathing. I'm forgetting to breathe.

That's right, that's right. And you know, there are so vagus nerve implants, um, the ear stimulator, the transcutaneous vagus nerve stimulators have— there's amazing research behind the physiologic benefits of getting into this parasympathetic rest, digest, and heal state. So they've used it for migraine headaches, seizure disorders, bipolar, you know, anxiety, depression, inflammatory bowel disease, irritable bowel syndrome. You know, there's— they're actually approved devices for seizures and for migraine headaches and for irritable bowel syndrome in children. So we know—

I've heard of that for, for irritable bowel syndrome as well. They were going to do an implant on me, or the doctors wanted to. And I've had another— I had a spinal stimulator for complex regional pain syndrome. It didn't work for me, but, uh, they were like, well, I think the vagus nerve stimulator would work for you. We want to try it. And then another doctor was like, no, the side effects are too great, blah blah. And so I ended up not getting it, but I'm still curious about that. That's why I knew about the vagus nerve stimulator. Have you ever heard of it being used for complex regional pain syndrome, or do you even—

I have.

You have?

I have. And, you know, having something implanted— I've had children with intractable seizure disorders, you know, have discussions with their neurologists, you know, with that. It's a big deal, right? I mean, you have this deal.

It's a big deal. It's like brain surgery.

Yeah.

So that's why I was like, oh, this is kind of scary, cut my head open. And then, and then looking at the The— when they have the— I guess it's the trial stimulator, and it looks like a big box behind your ear. And my husband was like, oh wow, so you're going to walk around with a big box behind your ear? But yeah, I would if it helped with my pain and I didn't have to live with chronic pain and I could be off of all medication. Heck yeah. I wouldn't care if everybody saw a big box behind my ear. I'd be like, yep.

Yeah.

I can— I'm pain-free. That's— I would totally do it. But to actually implant it, it's a big deal. And I think that's why my other doctor was like, I don't think you should.

Yeah. Well, and I think that now we, we have these, these external devices that are not implanted that you can literally— there are little, like, the GammaCore device is approved for seizures. And it's 2 little kind of metal electrodes that you just hold to your neck and you stimulate the vagus nerve externally. There are, you know, devices that— the IBS Stim, which is approved for children with irritable bowel syndrome. It's literally electrodes that are taped into the ear, right around the ear at certain points. And it's left on, I believe, for 5 days straight and found significant results. So, before getting an implant, I would say, well, you know, I would consider an external, you know, something that you could Take on and off, right?

Yeah, I would consider that for sure. The other one was like—

And the reason, you know, when we think about heart rate variability, there are also exercises that, you know, we as parents can do with our children that will improve the heart rate variability, improve our vagus nerve function, and improve our resilience, you know, through this pandemic. Because we know that optimal heart rate variability is associated with not just decreased stress improved calm, improved sensation of connectivity with others. But from an immune standpoint, it actually— some modes of improving heart rate variability can improve our white blood cells' ability to fight infections. There's EFT tapping, which some people have heard of.

Mm-hmm.

Emotional Freedom Technique has been found to increase the levels of IgA antibodies in our saliva. Right. And our mouth is one of the first entry points for a lot of upper respiratory viruses. So there are distinct immune benefits too. So some of these things that we could do, I would love if every child and parent had a gratitude and a mindfulness practice together. Right.

My daughter and I do, we do. Yeah. I mean, and some of the things that she says, we get in bed every night and talk about what was the best thing that happened and what's one thing that you're grateful for. I mean, I have my practice in the morning where I journal and I, mm-hmm. That's what I do. And I send what I'm grateful for to a friend. But we get in bed, and even though my daughter doesn't take it seriously most of the time, you know, when I'm like, what are you grateful for? And she says something silly, at least I feel like I'm getting her in the practice.

That's right.

Of doing it.

That's right. And, you know, I love that you said that, you know, we still do it. And when our— with our children, especially the younger they are, it doesn't have to be a serious, let's sit and close our eyes and, you know, think about what we have gratitude for. I mean, we wanna make it fun and enjoyable.

Yes.

Right? And meet them at their developmental stage. So it just becomes a part of their life. Yeah, when I go to bed at night, I think about what was the best part of today? And when I wake up in the morning, I think about what am I grateful for today? Right? And it's just something that we do, but it doesn't have to be a quote serious practice, right? And, you know, you mentioned before, how you'll sometimes throughout the day, you'll just realize, okay, I'm really— I'm not breathing that much, right? You know, when we go about our day, what happens? We breathe with our shoulders, right? We don't use our full lung capacity in our diaphragm, and we take very shallow breaths, and that keeps us in that sympathetic fight-or-flight state.

Ah.

And, you know, that belly breathing, the diaphragmatic breathing, right, where you pretend there's a balloon under your rib cage, right, in your belly, And as you inhale, the balloon is filling up in your belly, right? Don't suck it in, right? We're getting our belly nice and inflated. And as we exhale, the balloon in our belly is deflating.

Mm-hmm.

And that's, you know, when we use our diaphragm, that's been shown to also improve heart rate variability. And it's this breathwork that right now, as we're heading into, you know, a surge of COVID-19, That is so important. In fact, when my son was hospitalized with COVID-19 way back in March—

Yeah, I was gonna ask you, both of your kids had COVID, right?

Both of my kids had COVID. My daughter had the more, quote, classic symptoms. And this was literally the week after we went into lockdown, right? Our schools closed Friday the 13th in March. And if you remember, these were the early days where, I mean, we didn't know much at all about how to treat COVID-19 in adults. We had no idea what was happening with COVID-19 in children. I mean, back then it wasn't even easy to get a test. It's still not easy to get a test in some places, right?

Yeah.

But I remember when my daughter got sick and she had a fever to 103, and I'm looking at her, I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, we haven't been around anyone for a week, right?

Yeah.

And like locked up at home. And so she developed a high fever, a teensy little bit of a cough, but she did develop a little bit of shortness of breath. When we were walking around, I remember going on walks with her and she kind of looked really labored. And I'd say, are you okay, honey? And she would say, oh, I feel fine. I feel fine. I actually did have a pulse oximeter to check her oxygen levels. And she did dip. I mean, normal is 97% and above. And she was about 93, 94%. So, not totally normal. But I did, at that point, I remember I was waiting for Quest Labs to send me a box of nasal swabs to do testing. And I was waiting and waiting, right?

Yeah.

So, I couldn't even test her. Then finally the box arrived. The first test was negative. So I'm like, oh, okay, she doesn't have COVID. This must be some weird random thing, right?

Yeah.

We didn't realize the extent of all the false negatives back then, right? And then finally towards the end of her illness, on day 10, she snapped out of it. No fever, like nothing had ever happened. But it was towards the end of that first week that I did another swab. So I'm like, this is just too weird. And she did end up positive, right?

Wow. And now did you get sick?

So that's the really fascinating thing, right? Because now we know that children tend to have more mild illness. And my son was sick enough that he was hospitalized, but for the longest time, we had no idea whether or not my husband or I got COVID-19 because we didn't have any symptoms, except in retrospect, about 5 days before Kenzie got sick, I had this splitting 4-day headache and a little bit of a sore throat.

Wow.

And I felt a little chilled, sick enough that I actually canceled my office hours, which I never do, right? But not sick enough that I was in bed all day. I'm like, I don't know, I must just have a headache from all the stress of all of this, right? And my husband had about a day of like feeling a little tight in his chest and a little GI, like I think he had a little diarrhea and tummy ache, and that was it. So, but then in July when I had all of our antibodies tested, tested for COVID-19, all 4 of us had antibodies. So now— And that's what's back, right?

That's what's so crazy is the different symptoms that you— and, you know, my little brother had COVID and he was really— didn't— well, he couldn't tell us. He can't talk. He lives in an assisted living home. They tested all of the caretakers and one of the caretakers tested positive and they tested all the residents, and, and he had COVID, but he didn't really have a fever. He didn't even seem like he had COVID. I mean, of course he couldn't talk and tell us that he had a headache or whatever, but he made it through. I was really worried because he has a lot of health issues, you know, he has a feeding tube, and— but he, he was fine. But then, yeah, your son was hospitalized.

Yeah, and he had bizarre symptoms. Because the symptoms that he had, especially back in March, were not associated with COVID-19. So his very first symptom was abdominal pain. He started crying at dinner one time. Mommy, my tummy really hurts. It really hurts. I don't want to eat. You know, I feel like I have to throw up. He had really bad abdominal pain and then headaches. He kept saying his head hurt. And that night, the first night he was sick, he had hallucinations. I mean, literally, he was like seeing, you know, scary people in his room and hearing really mean, mean voices, right? And so that, that flipped me out, right?

I was gonna say, you must have been scared to death. I mean—

And so, and his fever never went above like 100.7 was the highest. So low fever. He never had a cough.

107?

No, 100.7. Oh, I was like, 100 and— what? 100.7.

No wonder he was hallucinating.

Yes, because you can hallucinate with high fevers, but he never had a high fever. He never had a cough, maybe a little bit of shortness of breath, but I was watching his oxygen levels and they started to dip down, down, down. And once he got to a low number, I'm like, we have to go to the hospital. I was actually giving him oxygen at home because as a physician, I can order it. I would never recommend for your children, if your children are sick enough that they need oxygen, don't manage it at home like I did.

Yeah.

Don't be a mommy doctor, right? But at a certain point, I'm like, it's too stressful. We can't do this. So I brought him to the hospital and they gave him oxygen just like I was doing at home. Nothing different, right? But we were able to leave the hospital within, I mean, less than a day and a half. And I did do a couple of things. Right. I mean, I did, I gave him melatonin, which there was increasing evidence that that's helpful in modulating the immune response, you know, helping—

Melatonin. And I think of that as only for, oh, I'm going to take that so I can fall asleep a little easier. I thought—

Yeah, but melatonin is amazing because it actually protects the brain and it's really— and it supports the immune system. So, so I gave him that.

Okay, so I'm, I'm writing these things down. So melatonin.

Yeah, and I was giving him— I had already started, um, high doses of vitamin C and glutathione, which is our master antioxidant. I gave him a couple of other things from a functional medicine standpoint that I knew would help support a healthy immune response. There's something called specialized pro-resolving mediators, and there's something called serum-derived bovine immunoglobulin, which right now Spain Is studying for use in patients who are hospitalized with COVID Okay.

I'm shocked you didn't say zinc. I hear everybody go, zinc, you have to take zinc.

Oh, you know, I had been giving him zinc all along, right?

Oh, okay.

As preventive. So I did continue him on that. But I think the things that made the biggest difference once we were in the hospital were the melatonin, the actually vitamin D, the SPMs and SBIs. So those, those— but I will tell you, one of the things that made the biggest difference that I could literally see because he was monitored 24/7 was the breathwork, right?

Breathwork.

Was the gratitude. You know, when his oxygen levels start to drop and I would start to freak out and be like, Bodhi, are you okay? How are you feeling? And he would get worked up and I could see on the monitor that his oxygen levels were dropping. And at one point he'd be— he told me, Mommy, stop. scaring me. And his oxygen levels would drop even more. So what we would do at that point, first of all, I had to calm myself, right? I would calm myself, right? And I would have him stand up and we would start doing our, our what's called square breathing. It's a little kid's app that we would just look and I'd say, let's practice our square breathing, which is basically belly breathing. Um, and we, we sit up and we out loud said our healing mantras, right? I mean, I just made them up, but we He just said, my body is strong. My lungs are strong. I'm getting stronger and stronger every day.

Mm-hmm.

And literally within, I mean, minutes, his oxygen levels would pop back up and most of the time higher to where they were even before we started. So I could see right there, I mean, just the power of just calming, engaging your parasympathetic, allowing your lungs to fully fill, you know, allowing your immune system to to calm down. You know, it was so key, I think, for me. You know, that was such good evidence.

That breathwork, it really works. I mean, it really works. Um, just, I remember, you know, when I had my first child, I was like, I didn't— I wanted to have her completely drug-free. I didn't want anything in her system. I wanted to do it all natural. And that breathing is what got me through it. And I remember, yeah, and I remember when I had my motorcycle accident, I'm laying in the middle of the road, I'm freaking out, I'm screaming, call 911, you know, my femoral artery severed, blood's everywhere. And there was a nurse that came over and she grabbed my hands and she said, I need you to breathe with me.

Yeah.

I'm like, that breathing works.

That's right. It really does.

When I have anxiety and I get like, you know, I try to turn my nervousness into excitement when I'm about to go on stage and speak, I breathe and I do push-ups because it kind of forces me to breathe, you know. And so hearing you say this, I just had no idea that it would help so much with our immunity.

So much. And, you know, for parents who are just thinking about, well, how do I teach my kids how to do this diaphragmatic breathing? How do I teach myself, right? Because when I'm in the office and I have kids and parents in the office and I'm demonstrating diaphragmatic breathing or belly breathing, a lot of times parents have a hard time doing it, right? They have a hard time keeping their shoulders down and really expanding their belly and using their diaphragm. So there's, there is a really cute Elmo video on YouTube where he's dancing and singing the belly breathing song with Colbie Caillat and rapper Common. So that's super cute just to get kids kind of interested in what this is and like, hey, it's fun to do. But then there's an app I mentioned, the Square Breathing that we did with Bodhi, and he was able to access the square breathing techniques because we'd done it before, right? When he was anxious about talking in front of his first grade class, you know, we did the square breathing. So there's an app called Stop Breathe Think Kids app, and they have a square breathing—

Stop Breathe Think Kids app. Okay.

And they have a mission, these animated missions, and one is called Square square breathing, and it's literally just a box, and a fish goes up across down and across. And as the fish goes up, you take a big breath in. As the fish goes across, you hold. As the fish goes down, you exhale. And as the fish goes across, you ex you hold again. So you just go around and around. And what's fascinating, it was it's only recently that I learned that Navy. SEALs learn the same technique, but they call it box breathing because it helps them stay calm, you know, focused, achieve higher performance in high-stress situations. So I'm like, hey, Bode, you just did something that the Navy SEALs did, right?

Yes, I love that. And, you know, I actually have things on my phone to— I know this sounds silly, but things on my phone to remind me to breathe. Like, it'll all of a sudden pop up and it seems like it will come at just the right time. And it has, you know, it'll go, it'll breathe out and breathe in. And it shows me— I love that. When I wear my iWatch, I have it on my iWatch. It does that. And then I also have the Calm app, which I love because it will remind me to breathe. It will. And I mean, look, I even have a setting on my phone that reminds me that it's time to start getting ready for bed. That reminds me, okay, And it, it shuts my phone down and it doesn't completely lock me out, like, but it's a little harder to get into electronics once I have that set.

Absolutely.

And I think it's important that, you know, you said earlier about, yes, getting, getting enough sleep, eating properly, moving your body, but also to do things to get your mind in the right place— breathing, meditating— and Shutting off electronics. I noticed that is one thing that my daughter's been a little bit more on her electronics during this.

For sure.

And, you know, at one time they— I look, I think TikTok's fun, it's really cute, and there's some fun things, but it can be very addictive. And just yesterday I'd noticed my husband and I were looking at my daughter's TikTok account and we're like, no, you really, you have to take that down. Nope, you can't post that. Nope. Yeah. And I don't want to be that mom that's like hovering, but I also don't want her getting addicted to TikTok or Instagram or social media or, or, you know, what are some of the practices that you teach to help children, um, who might have— I'm not saying my daughter has an addiction to, you know, social media, but I think it is nowadays something that for sure kids get addicted What are some of the things— do you see that in your practice?

Oh, absolutely.

You do?

You know, screens, social media platforms, they were all designed to be addictive. I mean, let's face it. I mean, you know, they were— they used neuropsychology tools and evidence to know what's gonna drive that dopamine response, right? Video games, same thing, right? What's gonna get this person so engaged that they wanna come back for more? I mean, that's one of the best business models out there, right? Get them addicted so they need it, need it, need it. And so, you know, what I tell kids is, And parents is, you know, these video games, these social media platforms, screens in general, they were designed to be addictive, right? I mean, otherwise they wouldn't be here. And so recognizing that, you know, we want to make sure that kids are doing things that— other things that can increase their dopamine levels so they're not relying on their screens, right, for that. Especially now where we're kind of sitting at home, if we're remote learning and we're just like, oh my gosh, I'm on Zoom all day and I just, I don't have anything to really feel motivated and inspired about, right? So this is where exercise is so important, right? To get that dopamine and serotonin rush that many of us are really craving right now. You know, hugging and connecting with others. Now, you know, we may or may not have our pods, but, you know, touch each other as a family, right? Hug each other, right? Because that really is so important for getting that kind of endorphin rush that That, you know, that we need, especially now, right?

Hugs. Oh, I miss hugs so much. I'm a big hugger and I miss— it's weird for me not to hug people that I see.

Yeah.

And I mean, I hug everybody and it's weird not— and, and as soon as we can hug again, I'm going to be hugging strangers on the street. I'll be just like, come here and let me hug you. But yeah, exercise is moving your body, I think moves your mind, and I can see a difference in my daughter. I know when she's been on the screen too long for Zooms on school and then maybe on social media or whatever. You know, she has her own business and she sells things through Instagram. And so I'm really proud of the little entrepreneur that she is, but I see a difference in her attitude and just in, in how she feels.

Mm-hmm.

So I always say, okay, that's it. Come on, jump up. We're going outside. And we take a walk or we go on our bikes or scooter. And I'm grateful that we have the barn and she has her horse and we can go there and we can hug her horse.

Yes, yes.

Something so just healing and it just melts the stress away when you get to do that.

It really does. And, and I love what you just said, that you notice these changes in her right after she's been on screens for too long. That's the other piece of it for children. So when we sit there, instead of as parents saying, do you see, right, how grumpy you get when you've been on your screens for so long? Do you see how much, you know, how you don't do your work? Or we want to help them notice. Just, you know, tell, tell your kids, honey, you know, I know that it's important for you to be, you know, playing this game with your friend right now because you haven't seen them in so long, but I want you to notice how your brain feels, you know, when you come off the the screen before and after, right? I want you to notice how your body feels. I want you to notice what your mood is like. So we're just helping them to notice so that they can start making good decisions for themselves. This is true with food too, right?

Mm-hmm.

Hey honey, just notice if you've already had some juice and then you have reaching for that cookie, you know, or, and, or the popsicle, just notice how you feel afterwards and notice the difference. Right? And notice a difference if we, you know, ate, we, you know, get a really great breakfast in versus the days where you feel like skipping breakfast, right?

Mm-hmm.

So when they can notice, they can make the decisions for themselves, right? You know, with screens in particular, what I ask kids to really pay attention to is notice when it's really hard to get off. Notice when, you know, if mom or dad, you know, says for the second time, you know, and you've said, okay, just gimme 10 more minutes, If you start screaming or crying or yelling, and it is so hard physically and emotionally to get off, that is your sign that you're getting addicted, right?

And that goes for adults too.

For adults too, right? That you are allowing, you know, this piece of technology to actually control your brain, right? And so you have to decide, who do you want to be in control of your brain? You Or this device, right? And then make those decisions to, you know, figure out a way to limit your time, whether it's setting an alarm or whether it's having an hour set aside. And then, you know, at the end of the hour, even if you're in the middle of that game, you're going to turn it off and practicing that, right? But it's tough. It is not easy. And I certainly see kids and adults, right, who are addicted to screens, especially the video games. And some kids, you know, I've seen some kids be so addicted that it is literally causing them to lose lose friends, family, high-performing athletes, and, you know, academic students who are now failing in school and, and really not able to stay motivated with anything. In which case we need to treat it like an addiction and say, okay, a little bit is not gonna work.

There are actually recovery houses now for, uh, screen addiction.

That's right.

I, I had no idea, but we saw a group of people walking the other day and I thought maybe it was a I knew it was a recovery house. Maybe I thought it was for drugs or alcohol, but I realized we got to talking to the— and they're, no, it's for screen addiction. And so yeah, it's a thing.

Well, there's actually— there's a word that I just recently heard, which is an actual diagnosis now. It's called nomophobia, no mobile phone access, like this phobia of not, you know, being connected, which, you know, is really— I mean, that's a thing now. And so we have to recognize it. If you feel like, You know, if you can't go for a walk around your neighborhood without your phone on, you probably have nomophobia, right? I mean, unless, you know, you're— I don't know, if you're on duty as a firefighter and you're like, okay, I need my phone, that's one thing, right? But, you know, I realized we have to recognize this in ourselves too and acknowledge our children. This is hard. I recognize, you know, for that it was hard for me to put my— leave my phone at home when I was going on walks with the kids, right? And now I purposely put it aside, say, look, no phones. And then they're like, what if we get lost? I'm like, we're not gonna get lost, right, in our neighborhood, right? Like, there's no need to have a phone then, right? Yeah, practice with ourselves.

I realized that we went to a dude ranch before COVID I had no idea there was no service there. I mean, none. Yeah, no cell service at all. You couldn't check email, you couldn't make a phone call. You were in the middle of nowhere, and I freaked out at first. I was like, oh my gosh, what? I'm gonna be offline for 3 days? And then after the first day— it took about a day, I have to admit, like a day— and then I was like, oh wow, it was so nice to just get away and unplug.

Oh, yeah.

And I think that we could all use time where we just unplug and, and You know, kind of disconnect for our own mental health.

That's a great practice. I remember we used to go to a family farm camp called Emendall, which is amazing, but way outside of Willits. No cell phone service, right? No internet. And I did have that same freakout moment, right? Actually, it took a couple of days for me to be like, okay, I'm okay with this, right? Yeah. And but then the last 3 and a half days were magic, right? It's back to the time— think about when we were kids and, you know, you'd be running around with your friends and you weren't checking your phone. You were talking with your friends and you were climbing trees and you were, you know, biking around the neighborhood. And, you know, really, yeah, you might have had a watch to know when it was time for dinner to head back home, right? Yeah, but that's it. You were fully present and engaged in that moment.

You weren't videoing it to share on your story. You were In that moment, living in that moment.

And if you think about our children, most of us have children who are of the age where they have never had an experience where they've not been connected in that way, right? So I think that purposely planning like a long weekend— I think it does take a day or so to really get adjusted, but a long weekend when you're like, okay, you know, internet Wi-Fi, cell phone holiday. It's off, right? And you just, you practice that and do it as a whole family because it can be really amazing how difficult it is for the parents. And then they can understand even more fully, you know, empathize like, okay, I get it. It's hard, but we can do this, right? We can do hard things.

Yeah. And that in itself builds more resilience.

Yeah.

Well, I want to have a link Thank you. And I want to thank for, uh, you, you offer so many resources. I was just complimenting you before we started the interview about how, how many resources that you offer for parents and kids and, and just to have a healthy mind, body, and spirit and build your immunity. And on your Linktree and Instagram, but I'm going to include that in the show notes. So if you're listening to the podcast or you're watching this on YouTube, just know that they will be in the show notes. All those links will be included, but you also offer courses and, and resources. And can you share the link? So if anybody's listening right now, they can, they can jot that down if they need to.

Absolutely. So the best place to find out, you know, information and, and, you know, get my resources is on, on my healthykidshappykids.com. It has articles. You'll see the list of courses that I offer. I hope 2021, right, as we leave 2020 behind, you know, with hope and freshness, I definitely plan to be offering even more courses for parents to help their kids and help them, you know, help their families really thrive. But the course right now that's probably the most relevant is Integrative and Functional Medicine Strategies for the Pandemic, where we go through all of what we've discuss. You know, how do we build up that cellular resilience using food as medicine, targeted supplements, lifestyle? And then, you know, what do we do if we do get sick? You know, how do we take that functional medicine approach so that we don't develop what are being now called long-haul COVID symptoms, right? Those post-COVID complications. And let me tell you, part of recovering from and reducing your risk of becoming a long-hauler, totally about the vagus nerve. so much to do with it. So, so that's the most relevant right now. And I'll continue to provide as many resources as I can for free for families because this is so important.

Well, thank you so much for all that you share. And for just taking some time to talk with us today and share all your wisdom. It was so great having you on the show. And again, y'all check her out, not, not just her website, check her out on Instagram too, because she's always got events she's speaking at, and I see free conferences and where she speaks as well. So anyway, thank you so much for being here.

Oh, thank you, Amberly, for having me. It was awesome to be here with you today, and I look forward to staying in touch.

Me too.

Thanks so much for joining us this week on True Grit and Grace Podcast. If you like it, please rate it or share it with your friends.

That would help too.

If you're not yet on the newsletter list, come over to AmberlyLago.com and jump on it. While you're there, you can grab a free downloadable gratitude journal, and you might just want to check out my book or even check out my monthly motivational membership. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll I'll see you next week.

Bye.