How To Age Like A Girl With Dr. Mindy Pelz

Hey, thank you for being here.

I've got some good news for you. I've been excited to share with you. The Unstoppable Success Summit is happening in Irving, Texas, April 30th, 2026. And I want to see you in the room because I know one room can change everything. I just feel like you're one room, one conversation, one connection, one collaboration away from everything shifting in your business, your your mindset, and your future. And so get in the right room, join us in Irving, and learn insider knowledge from top business owners. We got 12 amazing speakers. You'll network with people who will elevate you and learn proven strategies to eliminate guesswork. You don't have to do it alone. So join us in Irving. And you know what? It's for a good cause because proceeds are going to be donated to Call to Freedom. So this won't just be impacting your lives. It will be helping so many women who have been survivors of human trafficking. So let's be unstoppable together. This isn't just another event. It's an opportunity to change everything and really have unstoppable success. So go to go.amberlylago.com/uss2026 and I will see you in the room. You can also find that link at Amberly Lago Motivation on Instagram. And in the show notes. Okay, I will see you in Irving. Welcome to the Amberly Lago Show, where grit, grace, and joy connect you to unstoppable success. Hey there.

Thank you for tuning in to the Amberly Lago Show. Oh my goodness, I have a real legend on the show today, and I have been so excited. But honestly, like, My palms are sweating. I'm a little bit nervous because she— this is somebody I really admire. I love her work. Y'all, I have Dr. Mindy Pelz with us today. She is a New York Times bestselling author. I mean, she's got millions of books sold worldwide. She's a voice in women's health, hormones, and aging, and she's on a mission to teach You, how to be powerful and just how powerful your body is. And I love that she shares that, you know what, especially when you're at an age like me going through the menopause stuff, that you're not broken, that you are being rebuilt. You're— and so we're going to talk all about that. But I want you to know she's got a top-ranked podcast. I need you to go subscribe to the Resetter Podcast. You won't regret it. And she's really helping you unlock your energy and get brain clarity. So if you've got brain fog, like I tend to have sometimes, um, and you're ready to really find that purpose and power in your life, I'm so glad you're here. Get out your notepads and pens, and you are definitely going to want to take notes. Dr. Mindy, thank you so much for being here.

Oh, thank you, Amberly. I'm super excited to have this conversation. So thank you for inviting me.

Oh, well, I am so excited. Well, I'm excited about all your books, but you have a brand new book out and I'm so excited to dig into it because it's called Age Like a Girl. I mean, you talk a lot about fasting and ketones and you've helped millions of women, and I'm sure men too, on how to be in a better relationship with their partners just by understanding the How to Age Like a Girl, Fast Like a Girl, and all the things. But what led you to write the book, your newest book? What was your— what kind of was like, I'm going to write this book?

You know what? It really started with one statistic. And the statistic that I found about 10 years ago was that the most common time for a woman to commit suicide was between 45 and 55. I literally saw that statistic and I was like, wait, that can't be right. This is fake news. So I'm like, why would a 48-year-old kill herself? And she might be a mother, grandmother, a community member. She has a career. Like, why is she killing herself? And so I started to dig deeper into that. And then I found another statistic. And the next statistic was that 70% of divorces are initiated by women over the age of 40. When divorce happens, 70% of them are initiated by women. So it started to lead me to wonder what was going on with women in the transition from our reproductive years to our non-reproductive years.

Yeah.

That led me to another statistic, which said that a woman, if she's lucky, will spend 42.5% of her life without a reproductive system. And the majority, I mean, we're the only species on the planet that lives that long without a system inside our body working. Like, think about that. There's like, men don't have a system. It's not like that just shuts down, but this whole reproductive system literally goes into retirement. So I spent, you know, the close to the last decade really trying to understand what's the purpose of menopause? Why were we, why do we continue to go on in life without this reproductive system being active? And, that is what I brought forward in Age Like a Girl. And, it is good news. There is a reason for why we live so long. And, the motivator for me really is these statistics. I felt like if women could understand this neurochemical process, they'd stop killing themselves.

Yeah.

And, if men, if they're in a heterosexual relationship, if men understood what women were going through, maybe we could save a few divorces. And so that's where the roots of this book started.

Well, I was saying before we started recording how just, I mean, I can't wait to read the book. I've already pre-ordered it and I'm so excited. Thank you for you and your amazing team who sent me a book that I will have on Wednesday. So I'll get to read it before.

Amazing. I'm so excited.

But Just in reading what the book is about, I said, this gives me hope because it is like, it's, it's a wild ride going through the change of menopause and even the things that people say to you. So I just had a doctor's appointment. I went and did a full, like, blood— I just wanted to do a panel blood work, see kind of where I was, make sure things were okay.

Mm-hmm.

Um, my doctor was sitting there asking me questions and he goes, oh, you still have your, you still have your menstrual cycle?

How old are you?

And I was like, yeah, I still have it. But it made me feel so old. And so, and then just little things that, that change that, you know, my husband is still, you know, he's got good levels of testosterone and he hasn't, his system has not shut down. And I'm like, yep. But things are changing over here. And so I think that society sometimes has, or, you know, what we hear culturally, it makes us feel like we are broken or something's wrong with us. Or for me, I almost feel like, oh, I feel the changes and you kind of reframe things that it's a new way of looking at it. So how is menopause, if somebody is struggling right now with it, How can they start to make that shift to look at it as something exciting to look forward to instead of, well, my glory days are over?

Yep. It's so, it's so well said. So, um, one of the things that when I started researching this book, we weren't talking about menopause. It's, it's fascinating because we're talking about it all the time now, but we weren't talking about menopause when I started 10 years ago on this research journey.

Mm-hmm.

And now we're talking about it all over the place. I always say we've gone from a cultural hush to a cultural chaos. So I love that you're even having that conversation with your husband. Those kind of things weren't— women went through this experience and their libido went down and their moods changed and their irritability went up and their rage. We should probably talk about the rage that women have as they go through this experience. And yet nobody was helping them with that process.

Mm-hmm.

We've now landed in a conversation, and this could be part of what you're experiencing with your doctor, where everybody's aware of it and the solution is hormone replacement therapy. And I'm not here to say do it or don't do it, but I'm really here to say that this process is a rewiring. It is the changes that are neurochemically happening. Are rewiring your brain for the better. So, if you're in the middle of it and you've got brain fog and you've got irritability and you've got anxiety, it's because your life, your lifestyle is at a mismatch with the neurochemical moment you are in and that there are easy lifestyle things you can do to help your brain and body move through this transition. So, that is what we should be leading women to. This is where we get empowerment. But, to your point, medical doctors, many doctors have not been trained in menopause. The cultural conversation right now is hormone replacement. Great if you're doing it. I'm not here to tell you to do it or not do it. That's a personal decision between you and your doctor. But, what I am here to say is that if you go into your menopausal years and you haven't changed the way you eat, you haven't changed the way you move, you haven't tried to prioritize sleep, and there we can talk about sleep and some of the things you need to do differently now to sleep. If you're not looking at behaviors that you have, like people pleasing and fixing every problem, everybody's problem, and trying to drop that, this process is worse. It's so much more difficult. Whereas if at 40, somebody came up to you and poked you on the back and said, hey, you're about to go through the biggest neurochemical shift of your life, and this is going to require a lifestyle shift, then women would be better prepared for it. Marriages would be better prepared for it. Women would stop killing themselves. And that's really what I wanted to bring forward in the book is, Where is lifestyle in this menopausal transition conversation?

Yeah, well, that's such a great point. And, you know, I just a couple of days ago, I did 2 keynotes back to back in one day, which I normally don't do. 2 different events at 2 different locations. It's a lot. And my husband says to me, you know, when are you going to stop this? You know, you're older now and you, you can't keep up with this, but in my mind, I want to do it all. I want to, you know, and I want to keep going and I want to do these things. What are some things that would, you would suggest for even, I mean, I'm selfishly asking for me, like, of course, that's, that's, that's, that you get to do that.

That's amazing.

Like, as far as food. So when I was diagnosed with complex regional pain syndrome, I did, I was always a pretty healthy eater, But when I was diagnosed with this nerve disease, I noticed things like I needed to cut out sugar. I got sober because I could notice how it made me feel. I would flare up immediately. What are some things that you would encourage someone to change up with their eating when they are going through this change?

Yeah, it's such a good question. The first thing I want every woman over 40 to know is there is one number in your blood work that you wanna watch Closely. And that number is hemoglobin A1C. Prediabetic, the North American Menopause Society says that you are, and this is because we're talking menopause, says that you're prediabetic if you have a 5.7 or higher. So, 5.7 to 6.0 is prediabetic. Now, I'll come back to these numbers and what they mean in a moment. 6.0 or higher is diabetic.

Mm-hmm.

And, they consider 5.7 and lower as normal. When you go and look at the anti-aging studies, you go look at longevity, you go hang out in the longevity community, everybody will tell you hemoglobin A1C should be around 5. So, the first thing we need to do is we need to start to give you a target. Because that will help you understand if your metabolic system is going to throw off your menopausal journey. And the higher that hemoglobin A1C, the more bumpy the irritability, the more depression, the more anxiety, the more insomnia, the more belly fat, the more hot flashes. So, just target that number, hemoglobin A1C. Okay. Now, that leads us to, okay, how do I target that number? So, the second thing every woman over 40 needs to know is that when estrogen goes down, you become insulin resistant. So, those of you that were super fit in your late 30s, you ate well, you worked out well, if you're not aware of the diet changes I'm about to tell you, you are naturally moving towards insulin resistance as you move into your perimenopausal years. Wow.

Wow.

I even gave a keynote the other day to a bunch of naturopaths, and I was trying to explain to them that when we look at the symptoms, the early symptoms of insulin resistance, they are literally the same exact symptoms as perimenopause.

Wow.

Oh, really?

Yeah. The brain fog, the weight gain, the hunger, The hangry that we get, the trouble focusing, all of that is also an indicator of insulin resistance.

Wow.

So, if we could get every woman focused on her metabolic system as she enters into this journey, she will be in a much better place. So, that leaves us with, okay, How do I get my metabolic system in order? Well, I can tell you because I've written a lot of books and helped a lot of people that in the early years when we looked at the ketogenic diet and we looked at even fasting, people were really into counting macros.

Right.

And, in both my books, Eat Like a Girl and Fast Like a Girl, I got macros everywhere. Like, you should eat this much protein and this much carbohydrate. We also have, you've probably had people on here who've talked about protein and how important protein is. And now, you've got a whole world of women that are trying to get 1 gram of protein for every pound of body weight. And, it's become a big job just to get enough protein in. So, what I wanted to do in this book is let's just make it simple. We need to get the metabolic system in order in order to ride this journey, this hormonal journey. We know our target. So, what do we need to eat? Well, the first thing is that we need to take certain foods out of our diet, and that is all the ultra-processed foods. So, that's your refined flours, your refined sugars, your bad oils. Now, if people are clicking off this podcast now that they've heard this, like, sit with me for a moment.

No, I think they're used to me saying stuff.

Oh, are they?

Okay, good. Because I'm like, I don't want to lose anybody yet. I'm taking you through a thought process here. So, 80/20, let's go 80/20, maybe even 90/10. 10% of the time, you can lean into those foods, but 90%, 80% of the time, we need to eat real food, not food that was made in a factory. So, in Age Like a Girl, I have a very simple diet that I call the Primal Menopausal Diet. And here's what it is. You are going to eat meat if you eat meat, if you're not plant-based, and I'll talk to my plant-based people here in a second, but all kinds of grass-fed meats and different kinds of meats. And let me tell you why. Meats have a different amino acid profile. So, one of the things I do when I go to a restaurant, when I pick up a menu, I don't just look at it and go, what am I in the mood for? I actually pick up a menu and I ask myself, what haven't I eaten recently? Oh, that's good. We don't make duck at home. So, if duck is on the menu, I'm going to order duck because I don't make it at home. Well, duck has a different amino acid profile than grass-fed beef. Chicken has a different amino acid profile than fish. So, we need to diversify our meat sources because that will give us more amino acids, and amino acids make hormones. So, think of it like you're baking bread. If you're missing an ingredient, the bread doesn't turn out.

Mm-hmm.

If you're not giving yourself enough protein and enough different protein, then you don't have enough ingredients to make your age-appropriate hormones. Which is gonna cause you to have worse menopause symptoms than the typical person. So, we've got meat is number one. If you don't do meat, then legumes. Legumes are great, but just change 'em up. Lentils have the most amino acids in them, but then you might wanna go black beans and pinto beans and all kinds of different beans. Then, we need to do lots of vegetables and fruit. But we are not talking bananas and mangoes and pineapple. We're talking berries and apples, lower glycemic fruit.

Mm-hmm.

And then we need to do lots of leafy green vegetables. You have a set of bacteria in your gut that break estrogen down, and you gotta, you need to feed it fiber because if you can feed it fiber, then these bacteria flourish and they break estrogen down. It's called metabolize. And they make it so that estrogen can get into your cells and do what it's meant to do. So hopefully we're getting the picture.

Oh yeah. And I love how you explain everything so people like me can understand it very clearly. You explain it so well.

Thank you. Yeah, because, you know, it's like if I just say, hey, this is— I've been, I've been having a— not, not, no pun intended, but I've been having a little bit of a beef with the protein conversation. And, the reason I'm a little agitated with it is I'm really exhausted with authors, health influencers, people getting up and shoulding women. You should do this, you should do that. By the time you hit 45, 48, you're exhausted. You're going through this massive neurochemical rewiring. And, the last thing you want to do is start counting your carbohydrates and your protein. If that excites you, go for it. But, in my community, people are like, please, I got to stop counting.

Oh yeah.

So I'm right there. I used to be in the fitness industry for 26 years and I was like, I used to count everything and have 6 meals a day and meal prep all my food. And now I, I do try to, I really listen to my body. I mean, I don't listen when it says I want brownies. I try to ignore that. Right. But, but I like to, I love to just keep it simple, you know? Yeah. But I am going to be eating more protein now.

Yeah. So, so what, yeah. So when I make a meal. I start with the protein and then I build the meal around the protein.

That's a good way to look at it.

I don't eat a meal with— and when I go to a restaurant, I look, what protein am I eating? Like, but I'm not here counting macros every single day. So, let's just make it simple and let's put protein first. And then we gotta put fiber second. So, when we look at carbs, we've gotten in— we, well, I think we're maybe coming outta this, but we were in a little bit of a place for a while as a culture where everybody was scared of a carb. Did you go through that experience?

Oh yeah. No carbs. No carbs. Yeah.

So, when I look at carbs, I see the man-made carbs and I see the nature-made carbs. So, man-made carbs are your chips and your pastas and your cookies and your desserts and all of that. Those are the carbs you want to get off of. But nature made you lots of great carbs, fruits and vegetables, And they all have fiber in them, and you need that fiber. So, the second thing you're going to put in is what is going to be your nature's carb on your plate. And then, the third thing that I really think we need to talk about, and I haven't mentioned it yet, is fats. So, there are good fats and bad fats, and this is really important when it comes to hormones. The outside of every cell is a bilipid membrane. That means that what allows nutrients and hormones to get into the cell and toxins to get out of the cell is made up of fat. Lipid means fat, and it has 2 layers of fat. If you're eating canola oil, you're eating vegetable oil, soybean, corn, cottonseed oil, what you're doing is you're making that outer part of your cells Rigid. And I don't care how much hormone replacement therapy you lather on yourself, you're not going to be able to get those hormones into the cells. We need to get you eating the right fats. And these are your olive oil. I mean, olive oil's been the hero forever.

Mm-hmm.

Avocado oil, sesame oil, MCT oil. Like, we have to start to nourish ourselves with healthy oils. And now hormones can get into that cell and can do what is meant— it's meant to do.

Oh, I'm so glad that you brought that up because I went through a whole phase when I first started in the fitness industry too, that it was no fat, everything fat-free. And then they were just adding more sugar and processed stuff to it, but leaving the fat out. It was terrible. And so this makes sense to me. Um, and it really does, but I want to go back to something that we, that you said about hormone replacement. So anybody that's on hormone replacement, even if they're eating this process, this horrible oils for you, and if their cells are rigid, those hormones can't even activate anything anyway.

Yeah.

But do you agree Do you think hormone replacement is good or not? I'm not on hormone replacement and I don't know. I've— I don't know if it's good or bad. And so, I mean, I trust you to say, yeah, I think it's great or not.

Well, I think it's, it's great for some and not for others. So it's not like taking an Advil or a painkiller of some kind. This hormone replacement is a personal choice. It's a little bit like, do you remember when we started prescribing everybody antidepressants and some people felt like immediately they got their mood lifted and other people became suicidal?

Yeah.

So when you are playing with the neurochemical system, there's no one-size-fits-all. So if I was prescribing hormone replacement or I was prescribing a lifestyle, for people after 40, I would say, get your lifestyle in order first. And let's start with this metabolic number. Let's get your metabolic system in order and then see where your symptoms are at. And if all the—

Yeah.

Right. Because like, I've sat with so many women that are like, I didn't need it and I'm totally fine. And my brain is working great. And I like have, I know so many women who have said that. And then I have other women who are like, if I don't, if I was going to kill myself, and then I took hormone replacement therapy and everything got better. So I just want to say, I think it's a personal choice and I think it's a really important discussion to have with your doctor.

Yeah.

Now, having said that, I'm on hormone replacement therapy at 56. I'm on the lowest dose I possibly can be on. And, a large reason for that is because my life is pretty stressful and I've got a lot of running around doing a lot of things. And so, I know that my body, I'm doing everything to give my body what it needs, but I travel a lot. And so, in that, sometimes my lifestyle isn't as perfect as I want it to be. So, I'm backfilling in with hormone replacement. But when I go through periods of time where things get a little bit better, I can focus more on the quality of my food. I'm sleeping better. My stress levels are down. I'm moving every day. I'm getting out and seeing sunlight. I find I don't need to use as much hormone replacement therapy. So, I think they need to go hand in hand with lifestyle. And I think it's a very, very personal choice. I'll tell you something I'm doing on my podcast. I'm bringing all different kinds of opinions on, and I brought a testosterone replacement expert on. She was adamant that everybody take testosterone, and if they take testosterone, then they will be motivated to go work out. Okay. I could kind of see that, but what about if you got yourself insulin sensitive? What if you worked on your stress levels? We've seen testosterone come back on blood work in my clinic, in my online world, just from those 2 things alone. So we— this is not a magic pill. This is something that needs to come in mixed with lifestyle.

Oh, well, I love that you bring so many different topics, um, and people that have their adamant opinion about this is absolutely necessary. I mean, I was, um, on a panel and Uh, Flex Lewis was on the same. He's a big-time bodybuilder and he was, you know, for a certain thing. And there was one lady on there that was like just adamant about never take testosterone supplement. And I was like, whoa, whoa, what's going on? So I like learning and hearing different people's opinions.

Mm-hmm.

But Dr. Mindy, you're amazing. In the way that you look at things. And thank you. I've seen so many different doctors and just for you to sit here and say, you know, everybody's different and it's, it's looking at the person and their lifestyle. I wish we could have all doctors that could be like you.

Thank you.

Because that is so amazing to look at the person and their lifestyle because I would, I was on, I was put on testosterone. So I had my numbers done. I went to this functional doctor. He said, you've got zero levels of testosterone, of estrogen, like your thyroid's not working, went on and on. He goes, I'm going to give you testosterone replacement. It was a cream I put on my arm. My hair started falling out.

Oh, wow.

I started growing black hair on my arm. I was so anxious. I would just be like in bed at night. My heart would just be going. And, um, I went to another doctor and he said, well, I can tell you exactly why your hair— he goes, is your hair falling out? I said, yeah. He goes, are you really feeling anxious? And I said, yeah. He goes, well, your testosterone is through the roof. You do not need to be taking that. And so he goes, go to the gym, work out as hard as you can, stop taking that, and it'll gradually, it'll, it'll level out.

Yeah. So what, such a good point. Thank you for sharing that story because When I decided to go on hormone replacement, what my OB and I did, because we're a team and that's how it should be, you know, you want somebody who's working with you, not making you feel horrible about it. So what we did is we do, in the beginning, we did blood work every 90 days. And so she would put me on some hormone replacement and then 90 days later, we would test my blood again and we would see if things needed to be adjusted. And we did that for a year until we settled in on the right numbers for me. That's how it should be done. But not everybody has the doctor that will do that. Not everybody has the money if they don't have insurance that will do that. Not everybody has the time to do it. But ideally, that's how you start to get this very personalized for you. And I think that what we're— what's happening in the culture right now is we're just saying, oh, you're suffering? Oh, you didn't get the message about HRT? And where this becomes dangerous is not in the, oh, it could cause breast cancer, which is a concern. And people are worried about that. And there's all kinds of conflicting science there. But what do women do when an authority figure gives a woman advice and that advice doesn't work? 9 out of 10 times, the woman doesn't think it's the doctor's fault. She thinks it's her fault. We turn on ourselves. So, we are actually setting women up for failure if we're like, all you got to do is take HRT and your problems will go away. Because if her problems don't go away, she now thinks it's her fault. And that's what's driving me the most crazy about this. There is an art to hormone replacement therapy and it needs to be paired with the proper lifestyle. And then you're going to see that you can, and I'm not joking, you can breeze through this menopausal experience.

Oh, thank you for sharing that and about how you got the blood work done because so I just moved back to Texas. Um, well, now it's been 3 years, but it took a while to find a new doctor and I went to her and I said, I'd like to do blood work because I want to test my hormones and see kind of where I am on, am I Perimenopausal, premenopausal, like, I don't know. I have no idea. And, um, she goes, oh no, no, no, we don't do blood work. We don't believe in that. And I'm like, what? But I never went back to her.

I was like, yes, yes, exactly.

I was like, your blood work doesn't lie. Like, the numbers don't lie, you know? Like, how do you not do blood work? And I thought that was baffling to me. So. Thank you for sharing that, because I was just like, well, that doesn't seem right.

And so, and I, I don't know about you, but I've heard a lot of women go, oh, it took me about 2 years to get my hormone replacement therapy right. I have heard that so many times. And when we're looking at the conversation around menopause right now, that's what's consuming and taking up all the oxygen, right? And so I just want to make sure that if you're not doing hormone replacement therapy because you're nervous about it, you do have other options. Let's clean up your lifestyle and let's see if you actually need it. I brought on a naturopath who helps, or she's a cancer naturopath, so she works with people who have cancer. And I brought her onto my podcast. Her name's Dr. Nasha Winters.

Hi.

And I asked her to give us the pros and the cons of hormone replacement therapy. And I also asked her, like, is it necessary? And that podcast is the most listened to podcast on my channel so far, which tells me that women are like, I don't know, I'm a little nervous. Or women are like, eh, it's not working. So I just wanna make sure we don't lose this incredible moment by thinking HRT is the only way.

Yeah. answer.

There is so much out there and so much more to this conversation than just find the right doctor and get yourself some HRT.

Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. And I, again, y'all have to go and subscribe to the Resetter podcast and binge it. It's so informative. I want to go back to the lifestyle a little bit. Man, you are so brilliant. I could Thank you for sharing all this. I am soaking it in. I'm taking notes.

Thank you.

Um, so the lifestyle part, uh, I know I've got friends that are my age. I'm 54, friends that are my age, and they're now starting to have insomnia. Luckily, I sleep really good, but can you talk a little bit about how lifestyle, how sleep is important, imperative really, uh, For anyone, but especially when you are, you know, going through menopause, can you talk about how to get better sleep and how much sleep do we really need?

Yeah. So thank you for asking this question. The sleep chapter in Age Like a Girl is absolutely my favorite. Um, and there's 2 things that I want people to know. For starters, estrogen helped you sleep.

Ooh.

So estrogen actually stimulated something called the timekeeper, is what I— it's called the suprachiasmatic nucleus. It's a part of the brain that keeps track of time. So it decides where you are within the 24-hour cycle. Estrogen coordinated that. So when you had plenty of estrogen, You, your body knew where it was within the day-night cycle. So when it saw at night, it was like, oh, estrogen has told me that I need to tell the pineal gland to make more melatonin.

Oh.

So estrogen coordinated that whole thing, which is why when she goes away, we ended up with, I don't know about you. Well, you said you sleep well, but one of the things I first started to notice is that I was waking up at 2 or 3 in the morning every single night. And they call that sleep fragmentation, where you can't get a full night's sleep. And that can be absolutely because of a loss of estrogen. The second thing, and the second part of sleep problems is falling asleep. A lot of people have trouble getting to sleep.

Mm-hmm.

So if that's you, then the second thing you need to know is that A good night's sleep actually starts in the day.

Hmm.

So without estrogen as the timekeeper, what you need to do is find another way to tell the timekeeper where you are in the day-night cycle. This is not hard. This is so easy. So when you get up in the morning, you wanna see the sunrise. So try to get up as the sun is coming up. Sit, you know, if you can, if it's not too cold, sit on your back porch. Let your eyes without your glasses, sunglasses, see that red light. You have receptor sites in your eyes that will register that light and will tell the timekeeper, we're waking up, go ahead and turn melatonin off. Then a couple hours after you get off, you get up, you want to go move. So we were meant to move more in the morning than we were in the afternoon. So, your body actually makes cortisol 1 to 2 hours after you get up. If you don't use cortisol, you will store cortisol, and usually you'll store it around your belly. So, after you see the sunrise, maybe then you have your cup of coffee and then go for a walk, go work out. You're again telling the timekeeper the day has started and we're going to start, we're going to start to move. So, the timekeeper knows where it is. Okay. Middle of the day, just get out 20 minutes, go for another walk or sit outside without your sunglasses on and let your eyes see full spectrum light. These are your more, your blue lights, your green lights. Again, you're just telling the timekeeper middle of the day. And then at the end of the day, go and see sunset. And then that red light tells the timekeeper, hey, it's the end of the day now. So go ahead and make melatonin. You've using light, using movement, that you got to find another way to get the timekeeper on board because without estrogen, the timekeeper is completely lost.

Oh, that is so good. That is awesome. And, you know, I'm grateful I have a puppy. Well, she's going to be a year old, next month. And, um, it is one of the best gifts that she has been to me is that I get out in the morning when the sun's coming up and I, I go for walks and I get outside in the middle of the day. And then I also get outside at night and I have noticed how much that has helped.

Yep.

Just getting outside with her. So I love that. That's so important. And I, it's, that's like when, when you're in Vegas.

Oh yeah.

There's no windows. You have, I'll be at a conference and I'm like, what time is it? 3 AM or 3 PM?

They do that on purpose. They want to mess your timekeeper up.

Yeah.

That, that is a great analogy.

Yeah. Like, it's like, I feel like I'm in Vegas. No, I need to get outside and see some sunlight. So when I'm at conferences, speaking, I will always get outside in the morning and try to get outside in the middle of the day as well, just to get some sunlight. Um, are there— that is so good. Are there any supplements that you recommend, um, for people for sleeping, or do you suggest them trying to like get their timekeeper in check first and then try some natural supplements?

Yeah, I would definitely say get your timekeeper in check first. And I have a whole list in the book of all the things that will help the timekeeper out. And having said that, the most important supplement for sleep is magnesium. And you need magnesium to make progesterone. Progesterone's what helps you sleep. Progesterone makes a neurotransmitter called GABA. And magnesium will relax you. And you want a full-spectrum magnesium. There's a lot of different types of magnesium. I do a magnesium. magnesium complex because you want one that's a full spectrum. But magnesium for sleep seems to definitely be key for almost every woman that I have met. There's also some interesting research out right now about creatine and that we lose creatine. You're probably familiar from the fitness industry.

Okay.

Yeah. So, we lose creatine as we lose estrogen. And creatine is not just important for muscle strength, But it's important for cognition and it's important for sleep. So, I, for me right now, I've been taking, as I'm doing all these podcast interviews, I've been taking extra creatine at night to make sure that my brain has the right nutrients to be able to heal itself at night.

Oh, that's so good. I wrote that down. I'm going to go order some after this, right after this.

Excellent.

Yeah, that is awesome. Um, and gosh, I, I told you I have all these questions. I don't think I've gotten to most of them and we're going to be running out of time. But you know what I wanted to ask you is I love your butterfly ring.

Thank you. You noticed that?

I love it. That is gorgeous. And you use the phrase, uh, butterfly yourself. Is that why you wear the ring? Yep. Yep.

Good catch. Do you know that I have a butterfly necklace and I have a butterfly ring and I've been wearing them on all my podcasts and nobody's asked me yet? I'm like, somebody's going to figure out. It's like my little subtle clue. So thank you for asking me. So yeah, I put throughout this book, I use the term called butterfly yourself and It's an example, a metaphor of what we need to be doing as we go through this journey. And let me explain what happens when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly, because you may have thought you knew, but I'm gonna tell you the real story and the nuance of that that will blow your mind. A caterpillar is born with something called imaginal cells. And these cells are the genetic, have the genetic DNA That will turn itself into a butterfly one day. So the caterpillar has these, a genetic code for the butterfly that it is going to be. It is born with that. The caterpillar goes around its day and it just consumes and gets bloated and eats all the time. And there hits a moment where the caterpillar is exhausted consuming. This is Think through the metaphor here, and mixed with a drop in hormones. I am not joking. The caterpillar has a drop in hormones and is tired of consuming the grass in its caterpillar life, and that signals it to make a chrysalis. And so it crawls up into a tree and it starts to create a chrysalis around itself. Once inside the chrysalis, it starts to dissolve the parts of itself that it no longer needs to become a butterfly.

Mm-hmm.

And what's really interesting, and this ties into some of the work you're doing in your book and your message, is that as it is transforming inside the chrysalis, it actually resists its own transformation. It has to do this. It has to resist becoming the butterfly in order to completely dissolve all the parts that are not necessary to become the butterfly. It's like an autoimmune reaction.

Wow.

Basically, it like resists its own transition. It's like, and it starts to dissolve pieces that it can't use when it becomes a butterfly. Then there's a goo inside the chrysalis, and in that goo is the imaginal cells.

Wow.

And the imaginal cells start to form the butterfly that then pops out of the chrysalis and becomes the butterfly. Okay. What's the significance to a menopausal woman? What I see so often with women, and my practice for over 30 years was mostly women, my online community, mostly women, is that when we're younger, when we're in our little girl years, we are the most authentic versions of ourselves.

Mm-hmm.

And somewhere along the life journey, we get the messaging, and I write about this in the book, that in order to be accepted, in order to be worthy, that we need to play by a set of rules that society has put out for us, that we need to please everybody around us. We need to look a certain way. We need to act a certain way and we lose our own inner authentic voice. And we don't even know we're doing everything for everybody else. Like, why do we dress the way we dress? Why do we look the way we look? Why do we act the way we act? If you actually start to boil that down, you start to see that it was because maybe your father told you something, or maybe a boyfriend told you something, or maybe you knew if you were a size 2, And that you loved the number on the scale, that you would be lovable. We have outsourced our authenticity as women. And what I love about the butterfly metaphor is when we go into menopause, as this neurochemical shift happens, it's like us crawling into the chrysalis. We get the opportunity to dissolve what no longer fits. So, if you are a professional people pleaser or like me, I was a codependent to the core. I made sure everybody was happy around me and then I was happy. And as I went through this journey, I had to dissolve that behavior.

Mm-hmm.

And as I dissolved that behavior, you know what happened? I became happier. I slept better. The irritability went away. The rage went away as I started to lean into Who am I truly meant to be? And that's where, why you'll find the butterfly all over this story, because menopause is your journey back to your original authentic self. It's an opportunity for you to live life on your terms. That's what's neurochemically shifting in you. And the butterfly, I say in the book, butterfly yourself. It's your time to butterfly yourself.

I love that. You know, I just sent one of my clients a beautiful butterfly pin in the mail today because she's really transformed her life. And now I'm going to have to send you one too.

Oh, please. Thank you. You know, it's funny. It started— the visual representation started. I was at a local nursery buying some plants and they had a hat with a butterfly on it. And I put it on and I jokingly turned to my husband and I was like, I feel like if I wear this hat, you'll know what version of me you're talking to. So every time I put this hat on, you're not talking to the Mindy that you married or that you met at 21. I'm not her anymore. You're talking to the 56-year-old woman who has finally butterflied herself. And so then that became the visual representation.

Oh my gosh. Okay. I have to, I have to steal that and do that with my husband because he will say, you know, you are just not like you used to be. I mean, you know, you, and I'm like, no, you've changed. The old Amberly never would have said that. And I'm like, yep. Yeah, you're right.

Yeah.

I need to get me a butterfly hat. That's for sure.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's really, it's like, it's a joke now. I'm like, when he asks me a question, I'm like, did you not see my hat? Do you remember what version I am right now? Oh. So it's a beautiful, it's a fun way as opposed to really what's going on. You know, there's a whole, in the book, I have a whole appendix to men. I just wrote a whole chapter straight to men because I, you know, I understand it's hard when you've been living with someone and then she changes dramatically, you know? And so a large reason why I wanted to put this book out is to change the conversation. And it's so much better to say, I butterflied myself, than I've changed and you don't understand me. It just makes it more playful, right?

And I'm so glad that you wrote a chapter for men too, because I think sometimes it's easier for our husband to hear it from a doctor or someone else than it is from us. Like, I just remember when I was pregnant and my husband coming home from work and he's Said, oh, one of the guys at work said that this happens when you're pregnant. I'm like, one of the guys? I was like, I've been telling you that that happens and that's what's going on. You know what I mean? So, um, he is an Audible person. He will listen to a book. Is your book going to be available on Audible at the same time in December or is it coming out a little after?

Yeah, actually, thank you for asking me about my Audible. Um, because we did something different with this Audible. I, of course, read the book. And usually when you read a book, you sort of have to read it line by line. And if you miss a word, they make you go back and repeat it. My publisher is amazing and said, you just read it. If you need to riff at any point, you want to go off script or off book, you go off book.

See, I love that. I wanted to do that with my last book and they were like, no, you need to read it exactly like it is.

Yeah.

And I actually had to audition to even audition to read my book.

What?

And yeah, and I was like, well, I'm like, do you want to listen to my first Audible book?

That's crazy.

Audio version book.

I'd rather have the author than anybody else read, you know, do a book.

So you got to like give these extra?

Yep. So then the, then the other thing they asked me to do is they asked me to, at the end of each part, that we have what we call Dr. Mindy's Moments, where I give you a behind the scenes of how I found the information, how I've applied it in my clinic, a little bit of like, you know, when I, like, there's some really interesting conversations I've had with neuroscientists and psychologists and anthropologists, and I kind of give you the behind the scenes. And that was really fun. So when you get the audiobook, there's little Dr. Mindy moments in there. So it's a very different audiobook. So yes, have your husband listen to it.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna listen to it. I can't wait. Can I preorder that as well?

I think so. Yeah, I think so.

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh my goodness. I can't wait. I love that. Um, I have a friend of mine, John Acuff, and I love his audio version book because he does the same thing. He gives little extras and it just makes it so fun. And I can't wait to, I can't wait for that. I mean, you have so much in your book about Everything that you need to know about really transforming your whole system, your whole belief, mind, body, everything, and becoming that butterfly, having that butterfly, butterfly yourself moment. And you talk about resilience and so much more. I mean, I could literally have you on for like 3 hours and I just have loved every minute, but I want—

Thank you, Amberly.

I want y'all to go out and get her book. You definitely want to subscribe to her YouTube, but tell us the best place for people to preorder your book. Should they go to your website or Amazon, or where would that be?

Yeah, so you can go to agelikeagirlbook.com, and depending on when you're listening to this, we did some fun bonuses to celebrate the launch of this book, so they may or may not still be there, but go Go check it out. It'll be everywhere that books are sold. I do always recommend that if you have an independent bookstore near you, those are mom-and-pop stores that families depend on those stores succeeding. So if you can go to an independent bookstore and order it, great. You can even go to bookshop.org and it'll send you to an independent bookstore where it'll be delivered to your house. Um, but otherwise you can find it. It'll be everywhere. It's everywhere.

Oh yeah. Uh, that's awesome. And I love that you're supporting those local bookstores.

Yeah.

Thank you. Um, I love doing that too. In fact, every— I love going into bookstores. It's one of my favorite things.

Oh, me too.

Yeah.

And they're like a dying breed.

I know.

I know.

We just actually got a brand new Barnes Noble.

Oh, wow.

And it's gorgeous. Um, but I love the tiny bookstores too, and there's not many around. And so thank you for saying that. So please, you know what, go listen to this and take a screenshot. If you're listening on Apple, Spotify, or if you're watching this on YouTube, take a screenshot and tag us. I love when I see that you tag me and tag Dr. Mindy and, um, because it, and tell us And tell us your favorite part about the interview. But Dr. Mindy, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing. I just love all that you share. This has been one of the most fun and informative interviews I've ever done on the show. And I just appreciate your time.

Thank you.

And I'm so, so excited about your new book. So y'all go follow her right now. And look, if you're walking out, driving, whatever, all those links are going to be in the show notes for you. So, um, you can find her there. So, Dr. Mindy, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you, Amberly. I really enjoyed the conversation as well.

Thank you. And y'all, thank you so much for tuning in. It's because of you that you've made this show a top 1% podcast. So I appreciate you tuning in each week and we will see you next week.