How to Live Your Life More Passionately and Purposefully with Erica Lippy

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert and bestselling author. Each week, I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought leaders and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace.

Hello, welcome back to True Grit and Grace. Last week I did a poll on my Instagram and 90% of people said that they wanted to hear more about self-love. And so of course I had to call my friend, the expert on self-love, and ask her to be on the show. And I think now more than ever we need, you know, ways to find acceptance, embrace self-love, unlock our passion and purpose so we can live life to the fullest. So I was so excited when our next guest said yes. And she's a beautiful example of living life more passionately and purposely. Erica Lippy is here with us today, and she is a life and wellness coach and the podcast host of my favorite podcast. I love your podcast, girl. It's top rated. She's got a million downloads. I don't know the numbers exactly, but I'm a big fan.

Thank you.

And her podcast is called Passion Love Pursuit. She encourages others to become the best version of their authentic selves emotionally, mentally, and physically. She's a light in this world, and she is helping others ignite the light within themselves by teaching them to be more confident as their authentic self, be fueled by their passion and grounded in love. And, you know, I always say train your mind, train your body, and own your life. And girl, you are doing that and showing others how to do the same. So, Erica Lippe, thank you so much for being on the show.

Amberly, my goodness. Thank you. That was just a dynamite intro. Thank you. I'm so honored to be on your show.

Well, you know, I'm a big fan. I am such a big fan. And we met I think because of an event that I was speaking at. Was it in LA or was it in Salt Lake City? The Powerful You.

That's what I thought. Yeah, it was in Los Angeles, the Powerful You. And I went to your breakout session and I didn't know anything about you. I just said I liked the topic. I don't remember what it was called, but I'm like, I'm gonna go. I only had 2 to choose from. Yours was the first one. Oh, I felt so special. Amazing. I heard your story and just, you know, your authenticity just spoke right to me. And I was telling my boyfriend, I'm like, I need to walk up to her and ask her to be on my podcast. This is remarkable. You are remarkable. And you really, I mean, just, I think you have such an impactful story and you are a true example of grit and grace. And I'm just so honored we met. Thank you.

I'm so honored we met. And then we— I was on your podcast and we just really connected, spend time together hiking or going to the beach. And I have loved getting to know you. And I love what you, what you share because we really do need more self-love. I know it was so hard for me to love myself again, especially after my accident. I mean, I, it was really a hard process. Can you share a little bit with us about where, how you got to where you are a little bit? What led you into the whole self-development field and led you to be a Coach?

We never arrive anywhere, right? We are on a journey. It never ends. And always there is something in our life that kind of shakes us to our core and then will change the trajectory of our life. And I'll start from really what shaped me and just be fully transparent. I actually don't recall a lot of my childhood. It's kind of crazy when I think about my childhood. I can't form a lot of memories, but I will take you—

Really?

Yeah, it's quite bizarre. I don't remember a whole lot before maybe 3rd grade, to be honest, which is really bizarre. And even when I ask my parents, I don't really get a clear story of my life, if you want to say. So it's kind of weird.

That's crazy. Like, I would love to do— like, I don't know if you believe in hypnotherapy, but have you ever tried like hypnotherapy to No, but I've—

I would love that because it's strange to me that I can't connect the dots too well and I can't recall a lot of childhood memories. And I know that obviously a lot of things that happen in our life stem from childhood or subconscious beliefs. So it'd be great to know more.

Yeah.

I would love that. But I'll share the earliest memory and that's probably what really shaped me as an adult as well. So I would believe it's around 3rd grade. So let's say when I was around 8, I was going to school and I remember I was attending classes that were different than most students. And I came to realize this class was for kids with learning disabilities.

Hmm.

And come to find out my learning disability was auditory memory disorder, which is basically I, when I would hear something from the teacher, let's say it was very hard for me to remember it. So my short-term memory was just nonexistent, as it seemed. So I needed special help. And so as you can imagine, when you're a young kid, when you don't feel like you're like the other kids, you feel less than, stupid, not enough. And so that was really the belief that was created in my mind that I was stupid.

And girl, I'm right there with you. I was in the special needs for like a learning disability. I was like in the special class. And it really impacts the rest of your life, your self-worth, I think, and self-love, maybe.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Well, so it deepened a lot more from that. So I actually was in— I started dating at a very young age, but one of my relationships was when I was 13, and the guy I dated was when he was 16, and we dated for 10 years. So 13 to 23. I dated a guy that was 3 years older. And as you can imagine, 13 and 16 is quite a gap mentally.

Yeah.

So dating him, we had the normal relationship, the normal ups and downs. But what was really significant was the emotional abuse. And he definitely made me feel less than. He made me feel stupid. I didn't feel like enough. I didn't feel that I was worth it, you know, and So that led to depression. And I actually, I believe it was age 15 or 16, attempted suicide. Honestly, if I be radically honest with myself, when I look at it now, it was somewhat a cry for help, but it was really more as a cry for him to come back to me. Sounds really manipulative, and it was. So As depressed as I was, if I look at it now, I could clearly say it was me wanting him back. And that was my cry for like, this is my way to pull him back is give him more, like show attention.

What happened when you— did you hear from him again?

Oh yeah. He called my parents and then I actually was sent to a home for 2 weeks, which was a blessing in disguise because I realized, I really had it a lot better off than the people I was staying with. And so from there, my—

Perspective is everything, isn't it?

Exactly. So it woke me up. Like, I don't want to be in this home. Like, get me out of here. And the reality that I was really not that bad off. So I started working on myself. And like I said, we dated till 23. When that relationship broke up, obviously it was actually a mutual choice. So that's where I was. starting to come into my own and I started to actually get to know who I was because as you can imagine, you're growing up with this person, or I was, 13 to 23. I became him per se. Like I started liking his interests. I didn't really know myself. And that is really one thing that shaped me a lot is I was disconnected to myself. I'm sure many people can imagine. When you are so close to somebody, especially in an intimate relationship, you form certain habits or you get to develop these interests that are similar to your partner or whatever. And I think many of us can relate to not really knowing ourselves at a young age. And so after that relationship ended— I'm going to lead up to how I developed my self-love. After that relationship ended, I was in a healthy, loving 5-year relationship. And that was wonderful. That was great. It really— I was very much myself in that relationship. But did you—

Was there a time span in between those relationships? Or did you feel like you really are the kind of person that was like, I want to— because there are some people that prefer to be in a relationship. You know, they don't want to be alone. Were you back-to-back relationships? Or did you take some time? In between?

I was— no, actually there was a 5-year gap.

Oh.

So I got a lot of time to get to know myself, really come into my own. Biggest blessing to have that opportunity. And luckily I was picky per se, so it wasn't like I was going to jump into the next thing. I wanted love, I seeked love, I needed love, if you want to say, but I luckily had that opportunity to grow a bit between that time. And then so when I was in this relationship, even though it was really healthy and loving, there was a big lesson that was served to me when the relationship ended. And that was, I love that person more than myself. I cared more about that person than myself. He was worth more than me, than myself. And that slapped me really hard in the face when I was luckily able to, you know, look back at my experience and why this ended and what did I do wrong and Just reflecting. And so from there, as you can imagine, I learned lots of lessons. I dated and whatnot, and there was a common lesson.

What were— I'm sorry to interrupt. I wanted to ask you, what were some of the signs that were like red flags that, oh my gosh, I love him more than I love myself? Were you doing everything for him and putting him on the list first, or what were some of the things that you were doing that led you to believe, oh my gosh, this is a wake-up call?

There's very specific things. that happened towards the end of our relationship. We had something outside of ourselves happen that really impacted our relationship. It impacted him personally. It led him into depression. It impacted me, but more on the level of how is this shaking up our relationship? It didn't impact me emotionally. I felt still strong, still confident in our relationship, but I was worried how it impacted His situation, well, actually our situation. How is this going to affect our relationship? So the signs were how I was—I was basically hurting myself to support him and you know get him through his journey and hold him high. But I was in in the flip side, I was actually hurting myself. So there there could be a whole conversation with. what happened, but it was basically the reality. I was not standing for what I believed in and I wasn't owning my truth and being firm in what I deserved and what I wanted and what I— respecting myself to actually confidently speak to him and say like, this is not fair, you know?

So that's what happened. Yeah, I understand that. I think that when you can really take a look at what your core values are, And when something doesn't match your core values, like some of my core values are honesty, authenticity, integrity, trust, like it, it, and if something doesn't match that for me, whether it's a relationship or a business relationship or a friendship, whatever that might be, I know, okay, this is not a good match for me because this, they don't have integrity or they don't believe in integrity or they're not real. Then, then it's not going to be a good fit. So, and I think that once you feel that in a relationship and you listen to your gut and you know, this doesn't feel right, this doesn't match what I stand for, it makes it easier to make those decisions, whether that's a yes or no.

Absolutely. And that, that goes to the lessons that I was taught along the way. Again, dating several people, I realized I was getting the same lesson over and over, 101 level, on a 201 level. It kept getting louder and louder until like I'm like, no more, like enough is enough. I need to start listening and I need to actually look at this like I'm the common denominator in this situation. Something needs to change and that something is actually me.

Yeah.

So I, through that, I actually started working with my life coach again, which was the third time. But what was different about this time, and I want people to hear this really loud and clear because this was a game changer for me. So number one, a life coach is great because they hold you accountable. They're, they're the sounding board. They're the ones that hold you high, but also radically honest with you. And they shine the mirror on you so you could see yourself, per se. But what's really radically different this time working with her is I was extremely intentional in the process, meaning I wouldn't listen to any video or have a conversation with her while I was driving and rushing to my next client. I would sit down. notebook out and intentionally take notes. And then the other thing is I was committed to my evolution, if you want to say my growth. I was determined for change. And the previous times, you know, even though I was like all in, so I thought, it was that those 2 steps in particular that I was like, enough is enough. If nothing changes, nothing changes, right? So When you talk about your values and knowing yourself, that's, that's really the foundation of developing self-love is— I mean, I've developed a whole framework because I realized there were steps I went through to arrive there. And it's really getting to know you. What do you value? What, what, what do you desire? What, what makes you feel joy? What, what are the things you don't want?

Yeah.

And be honest about that, but not thinking about, like, when you think about a partner, if we're, if we're focusing on a partner right now, because one of the biggest struggles I had was relationships. I seeked love so much. I don't know if you, or a lot of people probably know this, the 2 fears that humans have are, I'm not enough, and that I won't be loved. I had those 2, and like, those were my main fears. I seeked love so much that Really, like when I started my personal development journey a while ago, I seeked— I started my personal development journey because I wanted to change my outside experiences. But the truth is, reality of course, is that our outside experiences are based on our inner thoughts and emotions. So what needs to change is your thoughts, emotions, stories, beliefs. So It's really being very intentional and getting to know you. I talk a lot about authenticity because it is the core of everything, core of receiving, believing, giving. I mean, attracting is the core of everything. And I have just— it's so funny. So I'll share a little snippet of some of the things I did when I was younger. And it's kind of— I laugh about it now, and I've actually never shared this, but maybe 3 people Oh, good. I want to hear it. So, this is funny. You're going to probably laugh about this one. So, one of the things I did when I was younger, and this is how much I seek to be more than I was, or to be liked for, you know, what I thought I was becoming, or who I wanted to be. I wanted to feel special, right? I wanted to feel like I was enough. So, I actually created a couple lies. And this was, I think this was in 5th grade. So, let's say around age 11, very young.

I was around Ruby's age, so I'm picturing Ruby doing something like this.

So this is quite funny. So I said to a couple friends that my uncle was Tom Cruise and that my boyfriend was Eddie Furlong, the guy from Terminator. So I literally— Those are big ones though.

That's like a lot to live up to.

And they were believed. But it was so silly. When I look at it now, I laugh at myself. Like, how crazy is that? That That shows me like how much I seek to be something more than I was. It's hard. Obviously, I really relate to mental health in kids, right? I see the struggles. I see the desires kids want. They want to feel like they're enough. They want to feel loved, right?

Now, I mean, now more than ever because I mean, I overheard— so we've got virtual school going on and we've kind of adopted one of Ruby's friends. We're allowing her friend to do school with her. So they're downstairs doing school and And one will be in one room playing the flute and Ruby will be in the other room, you know, doing PE. And I'm the lunch lady. So I'm in there in between Zoom sessions making their lunch. And I overhear her friend say, yeah, well, you know, my friend so-and-so has like 1,000 followers on TikTok. And I'm just listening and I'm thinking, wow, the pressure on kids now of like, how many followers do you have? What does it look like on social media? Like, it's just so much pressure.

Yeah.

I am grateful that I know that my 12-year-old doesn't get caught up in that too much, but there has to be some sort of level of, I know that it matters because like she got you know, champion of IEL. It's a horse show. And she was upset that— and I hope her trainer isn't listening to this— but she was— she had her feelings hurt because she was champion. And she goes, he— they didn't post my picture.

Wow.

It's all about posting and what they see. And it just— it's so much. I think we need now more than ever to be able to connect to ourselves authentically So we don't have to feel like there's a big show. Because man, on social media, on Instagram, everything looks so shiny and sparkly and like everything's all good. And that's why I try to share positivity, but also try to share what's really going on behind the scenes and what a struggle it is sometimes. You know?

Yes.

And so thank you for sharing that story. How did it— did people find out that that wasn't your boyfriend and Tom Cruise wasn't your uncle? How did that go?

You know, I only told a few people. I know my best friend at the time, I told her like it wasn't true later on. And I think it kind of— maybe it wasn't so believed that it kind of like was dismissed. But it's really proof to me of how disconnected I was to myself and how much I didn't truly love myself. And that later in life, again, when I hit, if you want to say, this rock bottom where it really shifted things for me, when I would look at certain behaviors of my past, it would be like, aha, I know why that happened. I know why I reacted this way. And when I was doing this intentional work, I really digged into self, like getting to know who I was, like who, who actually am I? Because again, when I was in this long-term relationship, I didn't know myself. And I think many of us could relate to that. Like, who am I really? And really, how do we get to those answers? And I think that it's the work we need to do. And that's what I'm wanting to share is like, these are the steps that you should go through to arrive there and really develop your foundation of love for self. Because I believe that the only way we could attract and get love from others is truly loving ourself. It's It's a mirror for us. You know, the love we receive is a mirror. So luckily I've arrived there.

Yeah. Can you share some of the— Yeah, for sure. Like one of the first steps that you would say this is a must to start yourself on this self-love journey?

First, like, I think people need to know what authenticity is because we know it's a very common word. It's very cliché if you want to say, but it doesn't take away from the importance of the meaning, right? So authenticity is really not that we should be anything or that we have to or that we're— sorry, that we're— that we need to be anything other than ourselves. It's really just truly being, right? And connecting to who we are and embracing everything we are, our vulnerability, you know, our superpowers, our stories, and accepting it. And it's a practice, really. It's letting ourselves be seen, you know, without judgment of our struggles or what we've been through. So I think that's important is knowing what authenticity is, because I think that it's such a common word, but know the meaning, right?

Yeah. And I think authenticity is, it's really freedom because for me it was accepting where I was, Who I was. I mean, because I had no self-worth and I realized all my self-worth was built on what I provided, what I did for others, and what I looked like. As shallow as that may sound, but being a fitness trainer and a fitness model, I was a walking advertisement for my business the way I looked. And so when my looks were completely demolished, And I, you know, I was really struggling with self-worth and I had to start from scratch. And that started with acceptance and that led me to really being authentic. And when you can share authentically, people know it. I feel like when somebody is, is full of it, you can smell it a mile away. I don't know. I feel like there's a disconnect there.

Absolutely.

So for anybody listening, be you and that shines through. Just stay true to yourself and that is how you're going to connect to your tribe, I feel like.

Absolutely. I feel like my superpower now is being me. Like, I love myself so much. I love who I am. I love like just that I've stripped all the masks, all the layers, and I've accepted myself. In talking about this stuff, steps, you know, one of the important steps is the awareness of self, right? So is, who am I? Like, what do I feel? What, you know, what, what do I want? What do I desire? And really getting down to your core beliefs and values. And then that would be taking to the next step is reflecting on that. So writing down actually and being clear on those values, being, you know, like— Mm-hmm. For example, if you want to attract a partner, is writing down what do you want: integrity, honesty, you know, companionship. Gosh, I mean, it goes on. But don't think about the physical aspects; it's more like the core values. So I think the awareness and reflecting is such a strong piece. It's being radically honest with yourself and addressing your limiting beliefs. So I mean, limiting beliefs. And working through those, that's kind of a whole nother episode. Everybody has a limiting belief.

Oh girl, those beliefs, they just creep up all the time. I feel like I have to have like little ninjas on my shoulders to ward off the limiting belief. I mean, it's, it's crazy, the limiting beliefs. And but there are ways that you can get Get through that. And yes, that's a whole topic.

That's a whole nother thing. And that's really important is knowing what are your limiting beliefs, because those are actually the things that are holding you back in becoming the best version of your authentic self. It's, it's one of the foundational pieces that it's a roadblock for you really. You know, it's like you are here, you want to get here. To close that gap, you need to see what are your roadblocks and those are your limiting beliefs. So the acceptance—

Can I share something really quick about limiting beliefs, something that really changed. It's, it's, this was something that happened that when I have a limiting belief come up, this always really nips it in the bud. And this is what something somebody shared with me. So when I was getting ready to go do my TED Talk, all the list of people came up on the website and all of the other speakers had PhDs except for me.

Oh, I remember this story. Yes.

Oh, I was freaking out, like with imposter syndrome. Like, who do I think I am going to do a TED Talk? Like, that's crazy. Are they sure they got the right person? I'm not good enough. And I remember calling the curator and I was like, I know I'm not trying to promote my book, but I don't really have a title. Everyone else has a PhD. Could you please list me as the author of True Grit and Grace? And she was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Are you trying to— do you not feel like you're smart enough because you don't have the letters PhD after your name? And I was like, well, yeah. She said, you know what, you've got a PhD in heart, and that's why we want you to come speak at our event. And that shifted everything for me because we all have a PhD in heart. We all have these abilities and these these hopes and dreams and things that need to be shared. And so the thing that helps with me is when I feel like that imposter syndrome or that limiting beliefs, I always go, get out of my head and stay in my heart.

Yes.

And then I'm like, okay, this is the reason I'm doing this. I can do this because I have such passion to move forward with it. So that— I hope that helps somebody listening to to get rid of those limiting beliefs, it changed everything for me. It was still scary, but I, I was able to do it. So anyway, I had to share that really quick. So what is the next step?

So we go from awareness to the reflecting, and then from there would be the accepting part. So as, as I talked about, everything in our life— people, connections, thoughts, desires, soul— is a part of the wider expansion of who you are. So every day we are reborn and we could always choose to show up different and choose to take, you know, ownership of our life. So our authentic self, there's no endpoint. We're always evolving. As I say, it's a journey. It never ends. So that accepting is taking radical responsibility for everything that's happened in your life. And what I mean by that, that's not saying that if you're abused or if you you know, been in a car accident or whatever it may be, that doesn't mean that that's your fault. But what is your responsibility? And I say this to an adult because I was having this conversation actually with my boyfriend's daughter that's 11 the other day. And she's like, wait, so I'm responsible for this? I'm like, wait a minute. Okay, so I'm talking to adults right now. So we are responsible for everything that happens in our life. So what I mean by that is that what happened in the past doesn't define you. What happens now is what actually defines us, what we do with what our— what we do at our present time, how we take action for our life and how we move forward. And, you know, accepting with what has happened, Mm-hmm. being, you know, forgiving it and then taking the next action step you can to shift out of that emotion or feeling, whatever you're attaching to it. So it's basically going from the passenger seat to the driver's seat of your own life. So accepting is a huge part. A lot of people have a problem forgiving. I think that's the one thing, of course, like as they say, victimhood, it's the worst place to be in. You will never have a truly abundant life and your dream life if you do not forgive and remove yourself from being a victim. When you take ownership of your life, everything changes. I think that was the most valuable piece of advice I learned in my own development, was taking responsibility that I am the common denominator with what's happening in my life. So what is, what is my responsibility? Because I am 100% responsible for being in this situation, right? I could have removed myself from the situation. I could have walked away, or I could have made a better choice. I could have said no. I could have said yes. Whatever it may be is So I think that is a very important piece, is the accepting part. And then from there would be choosing, being, and allowing. So choosing, one of— I like to say this word now is conscious yeses. Making a conscious yes in what you decide to do. And the reason why I say conscious is because you could say, oh, I'm going to say yes to everything because I want to step in life and, you know, just Do the damn thing. But I think you have to be very conscious in your yeses because everything you say yes to, you're saying no to something else. So you need to be wise in what are you saying yes to. Is that actually taking you to where you want to go? Is it a stepping stone getting you closer to where you desire? So that is super important.

Mm-hmm.

And then the being. Okay. Being okay with being you, being okay with being present with yourself. I actually love being by myself. I'm happy to be in a relationship, and I, you know, I can't— I have utter joy in my relationship, but I am so comfortable with myself. And I think that there's one piece that a lot of people are missing is that connection with self and actually being comfortable in their silence. I am actually still trying to meditate every day. I'm still trying to implement that in my life. I have a hard time meditating because I have a hard time being still.

Mm-hmm.

That is a practice that I need to implement in my life because I know the importance of it. But what I am really good at, and I think you need to find what's good for you, what works, is that I love, you know, hiking alone. I like just being silent. I like just I like just letting my mind wander. I like just the— I love doing something adventurous that makes me feel joy and fulfillment. And I think being is doing things you love and also just connecting more with self. I feel that is really important. And then allowing. So allowing would be the last step, is allowing, is creating that space for love to come in. Mm-hmm. So many of us, as we talked about roadblocks, so many of us don't allow or don't or have a hard time receiving love. We got to get to a place where if we want love, we need to open our heart to receive it. So, you know, I think that's really important is just allowing ourselves to evolve too and allowing things to be messy, to not be perfect. Like, for example, I haven't recorded many podcasts with other Yes, I've done so many on my own podcasts, but I haven't jumped on many other people's. And right now I'm stepping in the space and allowing this to happen, allowing myself to be uncomfortable, to be messy, to not be perfect. Because I think that that's how we be more comfortable and love ourselves more, is taking this imperfect action and, and being a little comfortable with being messy. You know, it doesn't have to be perfect. Yeah.

Well, I remember when we first met and I recorded on your podcast and that was, you didn't even use video at the time.

Yeah, no.

You're like, oh, I don't think I'm going to use video. And then I remember you were like, I'm going to use video. And you know, I just have to share with y'all that Erica, you know, she is just as beautiful on the inside that she is outside. I mean, when you see her, if you don't already follow her on Instagram and you see how gorgeous she is.

Oh.

She is that beautiful on the inside. And I share that because when you find friends in your life that are truly supportive and loving and they've got your back, that is, that's a gem. You're a gem. And I remember starting my podcast and we connected. I was like, well, I don't even know how to get started with a podcast. And you're like, oh, I'll send you some information of all that you need to know. And I saved that, helped me get started. I was able to share that with someone else who wanted to start their podcast. And then in return, I think I shared my speaking Bible, like how to— like the outline.

Yes.

That is how, like, friendships work. That is how, you know, we grow our community is by helping each other and sharing tips and tools. And so I love the tips that you shared on just how to start loving yourself more. And, and when you can start loving yourself, you make different choices in how to take—

Yes.

Better care of yourself. And I love how many examples you show of just how you, you don't just tell people do this, do that. Like, you walk the walk and talk the talk. And you show pictures of you exercising, you know, while we're in lockdown, drinking the celery juice, growing your own celery. And I appreciate all the tips and tools you share about that. I started drinking celery again. My refrigerator is full of celery because you motivated me to heal my gut and get my inflammation down.

Good.

When you talk about the self-love, you can make better choices to, you know, take care of yourself. What are some of the top tips you would tell people right now during— because, you know, here gyms are still not open. I talked to a Client today who is really struggling Mentally who had really a lot of success and they're struggling now because they're, you know, they're in a breakup. They're so— and I said, well, I think it's a lot to do with the uncertainties of the world right now too. What are some tips you would suggest for people just for self-care to feel better right now?

Okay, so I'm big on this. I love taking care of myself. Self-care to me is my jam. I really, really believe in morning routines. I don't know if you have one yourself. We actually have never chatted on this before, but I preach about this now. I do not. Like, develop a morning routine. And it's super important. The reason why the morning is so important is it sets up your day for success. If you master your mornings, you master your day. If you master your day, you master your month, and so forth. It goes on and on. It's true. So what I really believe is developing your morning routine. That doesn't mean your morning routine needs to look like somebody else. There's lots of things I can suggest of what are good things to start with. Like I mentioned, I have a hard time meditating because when I wake up in the morning, I'm wanting to go, go, go. I have a hard time— like my boyfriend, he meditates right when he wakes up. I'm like, how do you do that? Like, I just woke up. I need to move so I wake up my body.

Mm-hmm.

So I'm finding what works for me. So, you know, I'll say some of the things I do, but what I really believe is developing a morning routine that works for you. So the things I do is I do the warm lemon water in the morning, and then I'll wait, you know, 15, 20 minutes, and I'll do the celery juice as you talked about. And I do that because I struggled so much with gut health. So, so much. Again, another topic. And also acne and scalp psoriasis. So it's tremendously helped me. So I do believe in the celery juice. Give it a try, give it a shot. If it works for you, keep it. If it doesn't, throw it out. I do that and then I will either— I kind of switch off. I'm kind of determining which way I like it best, but I will either work out for probably 45 minutes. I work out at home. I use a lot of bodyweight training, Pilates moves. I have weights. I don't do a lot of cardio, but I know how to train my body that maximizes my benefits. And then I'll do a cold shower. I do the 3-minute cold shower. That has been a game changer for me. I love it. Highly recommend it.

I can go into all the benefits. You know, I'm sorry, I can't deal with the cold shower. I really—

I love your brutal honesty. That's great.

I've tried it. First of all, I want to go back to the celery juice thing and the reason you do it. And you've shared with me before, I think the last time we went to the beach, you were telling me that you had the scalp psoriasis and how it's changed your life. And the reason a lot of times you have that is because of what's going on in your gut, like what's called leaky gut. And a lot of times people— I've got a lot of listeners that have chronic pain, chronic illness, and I highly suggest you look up what leaky gut is because it is— The root of a lot of inflammation, acne. That is one reason why I've been, you know, my husband's like, you need more celery? I'm like, you know what, I'm just gonna give it a try, see what works, you know. So I've been doing it but not consistently. But when you read up on it, it looks like why not do it? I mean—

Or give it a try. There's people that they've said they don't like it, or a lot of people say they hate I hate the taste, or it's so hard to juice and the cleaning. And I think it's— I have a juicer I love that I recommend. And then also it's something that I noticed a change. So I'm like, if it's helping me that much, I'm going to continue with it. And that's why I say, for your morning routine, do what fits for you. There's obviously another thing I started to implement is priming, which is a Tony Robbins practice. And what it is, is really attracting, receiving, and seeing and feeling what you want to create in your life is doing this priming. And it's breathwork, which is changing your physiology, and then also visualization and gratitude. So I do that. I'm not super consistent with it, but it is one of those things I'm like, I know I should be doing this. It's just, yeah, I think that, you know, Breathwork, meditation, working out. I highly recommend anybody that's not working out, I think you're robbing yourself of so much, to be honest. It's a part of my lifestyle. It's— I love it. I don't always want to work out, but I know how it makes me feel. So it's become a part of me. So I think we have to move our body in some way. And if you don't want to train or work out, I think go for a walk. There's nothing more rewarding than nature and beauty around us and fresh air, you know. Yeah, get away from people and take off your mask, you know.

Yeah. Yes. And you know, there are days when I hurt so bad that I'm like, oh, I want to hike so bad. That's what— well, I want to run and I, I can run. I can chase Ruby, but I will be flared up for days with— because of CRPS. I can hike usually. I can usually hike easier than I can go stand in line at the grocery store.

Mm-hmm.

There's something about walking on a hard surface that kills me with the CRPS. But I've had people reach out to me and say, well, how do you work out when you're in chronic pain? And there's something you can do. For me, even when I was stuck in the hospital bed, I would work out with little 3-pound weights and just use my arms. And just do what I could with my arms. The other day I was hurting so bad and I had been inside all day. We need sunshine. We do. So I went outside in the sun, laid in the sun for a little bit and just did a little bit of yoga. I'm not good at yoga and it would not be pretty, but just moving my body the best that I could and breathing and getting some sun, you move your body and it moves your mind and it gives you confidence and it makes you feel like, you know, last night I was, I was exhausted. It has been a long week trying to juggle my schedule, Ruby's schedule, having my husband home all the time. It is a, it is a little bit of a crazy household over here. I was exhausted. I didn't get to move. And so I was like, it is 7 o'clock at night on a Friday. I am exhausted. But I know if I move my body, I'm going to feel better. So I worked out. I don't usually do that, but I felt like a new person because it releases endorphins. It changes your physiology. And so you're right, Erica, like if you're not moving your body, you are robbing yourself of joy because I really work out because it's my drug of choice. It makes me feel better. So—

Yeah.

I love that you shared that and I love that you share To do what's best for you. So, you know, everybody's got a different workout. Everybody's got a different morning routine. Do what's best for you. I tried the cold water thing and I think for me it caused like more pain.

More inflammation.

Not inflammation, just like pain. Like, this is so uncomfortable. I'm already uncomfortable all the time. I would rather not be. And I know that if— I know that it's like a breakthrough if you can get through that first uncomfortable part. And maybe I'll keep pushing for that. But—

You already push yourself so much every day. So I think that you are already like, you've developed such a muscle to continue with grit and grace, right? That's— you, you already have it, you know. So maybe it's not right for you. Or maybe eventually. But I want people to know, like, the foundation of self-love is your standards you have for yourself. You set your standard. Nobody else does. The standards you have for yourself, for your health and your body, are your standards alone, and you set that standard. So when you take care of your health and your body, you're setting your standard for wanting, you know, abundant joyful life. You are setting that standard for like wanting to feel good every day, to wanting to feel more alive, more energized. If you do— if you don't commit to working out or moving in some way or another or eating healthier food, that is your standard you're having for yourself. Your standard is not high enough for wanting more health, more, you know, energy, more joy. Like taking care of your health and your body are So vital because that, I mean, health is wealth. We all know this and it's true. And tell you, which you could attest to this, is that when, when our health is affected, it affects every facet of our life. It's—

Yeah. And I think—

So it's just everything, right?

If we don't make time for our health, we're going to be forced to make time for our sickness. And, you know, people go, oh, I don't have time. Well, you know, if something's important enough to you, you make the time to do it. I think it's really important to put yourself on your to-do list. And I mean, I shared my post yesterday about how, you know, I was sitting in my office and I'm big on to-do lists, writing everything out because I love checking off that list. But I was sitting here, my list was like from here to Texas and Ruby comes in and goes, Mom, it's time to go to bed. And I was like, oh my goodness, look at my to-do list for tomorrow. And she could like hear the overwhelm in my voice. And she's like, you know what, Mom? My to-do list tomorrow is to have fun. I'm going to have fun at school. I'm going to have fun with my horse. I'm just going to have fun. And I thought, wow, you know what? That was a wake-up call.

Amazing.

Am I having fun? And so ask yourself, are you having fun? Are you putting yourself on your to-do list? I've I've got to admit, there have been days I've been so back to back with sessions, clients, Zooms that I'm like, oh my gosh, I've had to go to the bathroom and pee for like 2 hours and I haven't even taken a break for myself to go use the bathroom. And I'm like, that's got to stop.

Right.

Like, time to put ourselves on our list and take care of our health Because if we don't, we're not going to be able to take care and be of service to anybody else. So sometimes that's what I have to remind myself of. If I want to continue being of service to others, I got to take care of myself.

And so, so important. So critical. And I think the other thing is celebrating our small wins. So we are so, as you know, humans love progress. And that's why, like, if you don't knock off a lot of things on your to-do list, You feel unaccomplished, you feel like you're a failure or whatever. So we love progress. So we need to celebrate our small little wins because it's not always about arriving or knocking or the outcome of something. It's actually celebrating the fact that you accomplished one task, that you're getting there, you're still on the journey. So don't always think about the end result because you're going to always feel like Oh, you know, or else it'll be—

it'll never be enough. If you're just always focused on the end result and you're not enjoying the journey, then you're never going to be satisfied. You're always going to be— and, and I've been guilty of that. I've been so guilty of going, well, I just have to get to this point. And I get to that point and I'm like, oh, I'm here. Well, now I have to get to this point. And it's like, no, you gotta— But enjoy the journey, find things that spark joy in your life and take time to really, you know, so like you said, celebrate those small victories along the way. What are some things that you could recommend for people to do to build their confidence?

Oh, there's so many things I could go on a whole tangent about this. So I've always felt I've been very confident, but again, when I was realizing that I didn't truly love myself or I didn't really respect myself or have this worth, my whole confidence was a facade. You know?

Yeah.

I think truly until I uncovered who I was and became who I was did I develop this confidence. And I think, so there's several things I'll just spit out because there's so many ways to become confident. So number one, is saying yes, right? Stepping into the arena because confidence is a skill. So we have to train that muscle, right? So we have to say yes sometimes. We have to say yes to what's uncomfortable, like messy action. Like I said, it's not going to be perfect. But if you step into the arena, say yes to the podcast or say yes to being on stage or say yes to that Zoom training, whatever it may be, that's how we develop confidence is by taking baby steps, you know, and again, not, not needing it to be perfect. And then another way, I am such an advocate for adventure. The reason why I say adventure develops confidence, when we do something that is uncomfortable, that is something outside our norm or, you know, outside your comfort zone, it develops confidence. Because once you do the thing, you're like, oh, I just did that. It's kind of like the cold water challenge. It's like, oh, I just did that. And that develops confidence by like, hey, I achieved this. And we love progress, right? So the more you do the baby steps, the more you check off the boxes or experience different things, you're going to develop this more confidence. And also knowing yourself, knowing what you value. Really honoring yourself, speaking your truth, being vulnerable. I believe being vulnerable develops confidence. It sounds, you know, opposite, right? Because vulnerability is like you're uncomfortable, you're— I think we've gotten past the idea that vulnerability is weakness. It's strength. We all know that. It's like, it's been talked about so much. Now we know it.

Yeah.

And that's the truth is like the more we own our story and we're vulnerable into speak our truth, we will develop confidence because we will get so connected to being comfortable being us. And that's what I think is so important, is being comfortable with who we are, every bit of our humanness, right?

Mm-hmm.

And I, you know, when it comes to confidence and self-love, authenticity and all that, is knowing that like we don't need to be fixed. Like we're, we're not broken or, you know, anything of that sort. And we could get ourselves in this negative spiral thinking that, but we have to understand that we are a powerful woman or man that has the capability to reclaim the energy from our old pattern— patterns, our old beliefs, habits, whatever it may be, and reconnect to that inner light that is waiting to shine through. Because, you know, if we're not brave enough to explore the darkness, we won't ever uncover our infinite power and light. And I think that We have to go to those dark places to see like what is holding us back? What are these beliefs? And, you know, it's a whole process, right? Like I said, it's a journey.

We're never going to reach the end. I love that though. I love that.

It's so important to, you know, see every part of us and again, get to that acceptance of being human because we all have these limiting beliefs. We all— the 2 number one fears are that I'm not enough. And that applies to so many things. I don't have enough money. I don't have enough knowledge. I don't have enough. I don't have a PhD. You know, I'm not smart enough. And, and then, will I be loved? You know, and we are the ones we're waiting for.

Mm-hmm.

We have to really grasp that we are the only ones standing in our way. So we have to get so comfortable with ourselves and That's where confidence builds. There's a whole process, I believe. I mean, I've been through such the journey of it, long personal development journey, but I've deepened my knowledge the more I've gotten to know myself. It gives me the ability to share more of like, how do we get there? No, I was just, I glanced at this journal on my table right now and it says, it says on the COVID it says, what you think, you create. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you become. And I think that we should really think about that, is that it's, it's all what we think about. It's our perspective. We have to really get clear on what our— where our thoughts are going, what we're putting our energy into, is really what we're gonna attract in our life and what we're gonna bring more into our life. So if we're constantly spiraling around our negative beliefs, that's, that's gonna attract more negative things into our life. You know, we're not gonna get what we want.

Mm-hmm. And it's so true. You know, like I've always believed, um, when you believe in yourself and you say intentionally, this is what I'm going to do. Like for me, when I was like, I am going to, I'm going to write a book. And I had so many people going, you don't even own a computer. You haven't gone to college. What? You're going to write a book? Yeah. We'll believe it when we see it. Like so many people were like, like, okay, Miss Fitness Trainer, let's see you write a book. You know, Little Miss Fitness, go right for it. But I knew it was inside me. I knew I wanted to do it. And also, I love doing what others say I can't do or can't be done. I love being the underdog and going for it and doing it. And I love seeing my daughter build her confidence and, you know, the— Mm-hmm. She has a horse and she got an older pasture horse where in competitions there's a lot of girls that have these really high-end fancy thousands, hundreds of thousands, some of them horses. And she had this old kind of beat-up horse. First time she's riding the horse, it throws her hard over a fence. And I'm thinking, oh gosh, this— she's definitely the underdog. She's actually getting thrown over fences. People are making fun of her raggedy old horse. She worked hard. She trained hard. She believed in herself. And it was hard some days, a lot of tears, but she believed that she could work with this horse and turn this horse into a champion. And she turned that horse. They were such a good team. They came a long ways. There were a lot of bucks in between. But she kept getting back on and she got champion out of like 56 girls out of all the schools. She got champion. And so that built her confidence and she would come home in tears some days like—

Amazing.

This girl told me my horse would never win. It was ugly. It didn't have any muscle. Like the worst things that could be said like to a kid. And it built her confidence to do these baby steps and make these milestones along the way. And it felt so good.

Progress.

She won.

That's amazing.

Who would have thought that?

Who would have thought? And I only share that not to boast about, oh, my daughter won, but that she didn't have the best horse. She didn't come from the most expensive horse. She didn't have all that, but she had a belief in herself. And of course that she was going to do it. And I share that, that so that we all know we can, if we believe in ourselves and something bigger than ourselves, then we can get there, you know. And so I wanted to share that story. Love that. And, and I just have one more question. I appreciate your time. I know how busy you are.

And I could be here all day with you.

Thank you so much for sharing. I just wanted to ask Right now, I think, I know for me, I've needed to like really tap into my resilience to keep moving forward. It takes so much more energy and patience right now, I think, with things that are changing, so many things every day that are up and down. What is your definition of resilience?

It's getting up every time, every fall. You get up, you shake it off, and you're just like, no, I'm still at it and I need to keep at it. Because you need to have a big enough why, a compelling why for the reason that you keep getting up. I think that's such an important thing. So developing that resilience honestly stems from your why. Like, I remember I was sharing this on another podcast. How do I stay the same size? Like, how have I stayed the same size for 16 years? Honestly, because it's my why. I choose, I want to be healthy. I want to feel good. I want to feel good in my body. I want to look good, right?

Yeah.

Makes me feel good. Makes me feel confident. So my why is I care so much about my health, my well-being, the feeling I have, the confidence that, that keeps me doing the thing over and over, even how uncomfortable it is or how much I don't want to do it because I have a compelling why. So resilience to me is really Having the, that strong enough emotion to drive you to the thing you desire. So, you know, no matter how hard you fall, it's just like, I remember when I was battling with depression, because I battled quite a bit with it, as I shared. The last time I remember when I was getting close to being depressed again, I was like, No, I'm not going to take medication again. I'm not going to do it. I could do this. I could work myself out of this. And so I was like, okay, I'll try CBD, see if that will help with the anxiety or whatnot. But I was telling myself, I am strong enough to overcome this. I have the will inside me to overcome this. And I didn't want a Band-Aid or something to help me get there. I needed to search within myself and find that resilience, that grit, that grace.

Yeah.

And the perseverance to go after creating happiness, confidence, self-love, and all those things. So I think it's really is having that in you. And again, this comes to connecting with yourself, like knowing what you want, what do you desire, what's your why, what's your purpose, what's your passions. I think that's so critical to developing resilience.

Oh, I love that. Well, tell us, tell everybody where they can Absolutely.

So Instagram, I live most on. So Erica Lippie, L-I-P-P like Peter, Y. It's a little fancy name that not many people have heard of. And Passion Love Pursuit, also for my podcast. You can find me there on Instagram. I share a lot of inspirational things. And of course my podcast is all about personal development and becoming your best self. And then Facebook, I'm also as well on there, Erica Lippie or Passion Love Pursuit. Awesome.

And your website's beautiful too.

Thank you. So erikalippie.com is my website to find out more about me as well.

Yeah. And I love, like I said before, I love your podcast. You have some amazing guests on. Actually, I've had some of the same guests because I've heard them or just seen them on your Instagram and we connected and I've made friendships. And so I think that's how it works. You know, that's how the word gets spread. You just share the wisdom and the tips And the tools and the inspiration. So y'all check out her podcast as well. And thank you so much for sharing all your tips and just your story and your heart today. I really appreciate being— you being on, and I love you, and I hope we get to go hike at the beach soon.

Love you, Amberly. I am so honored to be on your podcast, and thank you for all your support. It means so much. You are a gift in my life, and it was such a blessing I met you, and I adore you.

Oh, I adore you. Thank you.

Thanks so much for joining us this week on True Grit and Grace Podcast. If you like it, please rate it or share it with your friends. That would help too. If you're not yet on the newsletter list, Yes. Come over to amberlylago.com and jump on it. While you're there, you can grab a free downloadable gratitude journal, and you might just want to check out my book or even check out my monthly motivational membership. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next week.