Joy Through the Journey with Amberly Lago

Have you been dreaming of sharing your message from stages, starting your podcast, or writing your book? Well, now is your chance. If you are interested in really leveling up your business and your life, increasing your influence impact so you can make a bigger income, this is the thing for you. I'm telling you, it's the Unstoppable Life Mastermind. We are a group of driven, successful, collaborative, faith-filled women, and we meet on Zoom biweekly. We've got guest speakers that come in. We have an annual retreat right here at my home in Dallas, Texas. And we also have an annual event where you will be VIP. So I would love to see you in the mastermind. You can apply at go.amberlylago.com. Okay, hope to see you on the inside. Welcome to the Amberly Lago Show, stories of true grit and grace. Hey there, and thank you for tuning in today. Amberly Lago Show. This week I'm recording from home and I wanted to share something from my heart to yours. So I have had a sticky note— here it is— sticky note on my computer for a few years now. Actually, John Gordon and I were talking and he goes, Amberly, I have an idea for you for your next book. He said, I'm really good at titles and I think that your next book should be called Joy Through the Journey. And so I— he goes, you talk about joy a lot. And I was like, I'm writing that down, John. Thank you very much. Well, it has been a dream of mine to write this book, but I kept putting it on the back burner. Have any of you ever done that? You've got a big dream, you have something on a sticky note, but things get done before that. Well, I also— it was a dream of mine to publish with Wiley Publishers. That's, um, A publisher that has published Ed Mylett's book, um, uh, John Gordon, all of his books, Ben Newman, Craig Siegel, lots of big names. And they actually emailed me, and I think I probably dropped my phone when I read it. And they said, hey, we would like for you to write a book. Do you have any ideas? And can we get on a call? And I got on a call. And I pitched them this idea. I have a book called Joy Through the Journey. And, you know, a long time ago, I was talking to my dad, and I was all excited about this trip that I was going on to speak at this event. And I was doing this thing and that thing. And he goes, Amberly, just don't forget to enjoy the journey. And so, look, there was a time in my life when I had given up on joy. I had given up on hope. I thought that, okay, this— these are the cards I've been dealt. I'm just going to live in this horrible pain from CRPS for the rest of my life. And I was all focused on all the things that I couldn't do instead of the things that I could do. And, um, I really was spiraling down into depression, and I started numbing out, numbing out just to stop my mind, um, to ease the— not just the physical pain, but the emotional pain too and try to cover up the shame. And I went from being this elite athlete, and I was in the fitness industry, to all of a sudden I was drinking every day, and I turned into a full-blown alcoholic. By the grace of God, in 2016, um, I got sober. My rock bottom was my rock foundation, and I started building and building and building. And I think building my life back Uh, it took a while. Um, I don't think— I think I cried at every single recovery meeting that I went to for about a year. I, I didn't even tell anybody that, um, I had gotten sober until about 6 months after I was sober. And it has really changed my life. And what I have found is that there are absolutely ways to— yes, if you have pain or you're going through the ups and downs of life, there are still ways to build upon the joy. And it's our choice, it's our decision, it's our willingness to do things that spark joy all the time. And I just recently did a post on Instagram called Joy Spotting, and I noticed as I was in the middle of preparing for next year's event, the Unstoppable Success Summit that I do every year, and making sure I was getting my manuscript into the publisher, to Wiley, I realized I was letting this practice of joy spotting kind of slip away. And if you don't know what joy spotting is, it's something that I remind myself to do. And it's just noticing the little things or the big things. This morning, I decided to instead of wake up and get straight to work, I was like, you know what, I'm going to take a walk and watch the sunrise and connect with God and, and just joy spot, do some joy spotting and notice the little things and the big things. And The joy that it gave me to see the sunrise was beautiful. The weather reminded me of California. It was only 74 degrees and it felt amazing. Just having some quiet, just getting out and breathing some fresh air brought me some joy. But you can joy spot no matter where you are, no matter what you're going through, because there's always something to be grateful for. And so today, Um, I wanna share just a few things, um, that help me spark joy, um, that help me remember to practice joy spotting, and also share that y'all, my book is already out on Barnes Noble. Holy cow. Um, they did have it marked down for 25% off, and I have to tell you, I was on my way to go visit some friends in California. And I had every hour accounted for on that trip. Like, there was no space. I'd already gotten work done so I could just be in the moment there. And the publisher calls and says, hey, good news, we have your book. It's already out, um, on Barnes Noble. So you need to do some posts about it, put it in your newsletter, like, share it out, share it with your community. And I was like, Oh my goodness. Okay, where do I start? What do I do? And I was getting up at like 4:30 in the morning so I could come up with a post and newsletters and all that. And it really kind of threw me for a loop. I wasn't thinking— my book doesn't come out until March of 2025. I wasn't thinking of going to promote it. And I also have to admit that, you know, People that are super excited, um, when their book's coming out, I think that's great. I still am in this place, like when you're writing a second book where it's like, man, I hope people like it. Oh, am I smart enough to do this? Like it, the, the negative self-talk and the doubt will creep up for me. And so I have to nip that in the bud, but I have. I've been a little bit nervous of how am I going to promote this? Are people going to buy it? Like, I hope people like it. I hope that it really provides you with tips and tools and strategies to tap into your joy. So I just want to go over a few things that are easy to do that you can start doing right now to spark some joy in your life. I think we need more hope and love and faith and joy and You know, through this whole process of getting sober and sparking joy, it has provided so— it's changed my life. And so I do these things on a daily basis because let me tell you, the pain can sneak up. Things can get hard. The first thing that I do when I wake up in the morning is— I know this sounds simple and this is something that I say a lot, but I say it because it works. I wake up and from the moment I wake up, I'm immediately in pain. Sometimes the pain wakes me up. And so I could easily start to get into that self— that negative talk of, see, you're not going to make it through the day. You should just get back in bed. You know, you can't even walk without a limp today. Like, I can be brutally mean to myself. Instead, I say, I am so grateful that I could get out of the bed. on my own today, that I can walk to the bathroom and I don't have to use a bedpan, that I can get up and make my own coffee, that I get to go to work. And so I have a gratitude practice. So I talk to myself and I really— I also thank God for another day sober, um, and for breath and for the big and little things. But I have a gratitude practice and it's something I share with the group of ladies I call— we call— I call ourselves the God Squad because Um, we connect every day and we practice a gratitude where we write 10 things that we're grateful for and we share it with each other. So I use an app, it's called My Spiritual Toolkit. It is like a recovery app, but you don't have to be in recovery to use it. It's got great readings every day, it's got prayers, and it's got a place where you can put your gratitudes in. And I fill out what I'm grateful for and then I share it. And it's one thing to Feel it. It's another thing to write it down, and it's another thing when you get to when you get to hear what other people are grateful for. You know, one of my sober sisters one day was was writing in the gratitude list that it was her last day of chemo, and I thought, wow, I have so much to be grateful for my health. Here she is; she's been battling cancer, and I'm complaining about a little pain or this, you know. And so if you don't have a gratitude practice, I would say call up a friend and see if you can start one together because it helps you to keep that accountability as well. Another thing, number 2, something that I do is really practice mindfulness. Man, oh man, I don't know about you, but I can get into autopilot and I can get in my head and my, and my thoughts are just going a mile a minute. And sometimes you have to stop and look around. Now, I'm reminded of this, especially when I go to the barn with Ruby. That's one thing that I love to do is to just be in the moment and mindful of what she's doing and her horse. And by the way, horse hugs are the best. I really suggest you hug a horse because it will really spark joy. But mindfulness and it's Engaging in mindfulness activities, uh, like meditation. This is something that I use. I'm not great at meditation, by the way. I have to practice it. So I'm not affiliated with the Calm app, but I, at night, a lot of times, I don't know why, but nighttime is when I get in bed and I start replaying everything throughout the day that I did, that I did well, that I didn't do so well, that maybe I forgot that I have to do tomorrow, and my mind will just go. And also, for some reason, the, the pain from CRPS is worse at night. So a lot of times I'll lay in bed and I just need to like be in touch with what's going on and be in touch with my body. So I use the Calm app and they have like all different kinds of meditations and I have a couple of favorite ones on there. And I swear to you, I don't even get halfway through that meditation and I usually fall asleep, and that's probably not good. I need to maybe do some meditation at another time of day, but it really helps me be, be mindful. Also, just to be in the present moment. Sometimes, I don't know if you have ever felt anxious or, you know, I've even had a panic attack and something that has really helped a lot and it's so simple. Is breathing. On my previous episode with Dr. Romina, she talked about the importance of just breathing. There is box breathing. They even have on the Calm app, they— you start, they have some exercises which are you're just doing a breathing. And one of them that I did the other night was you breathe in for 7 seconds, you hold it for 5 seconds, and you breathe out. Slowly for 8 seconds, and it just calms your nervous system down and it gets you in touch with your body. It reduces stress. Um, you know, meditation and breathing exercises are proven to reduce stress. Um, and just being mindful to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. Also, one thing that I like to do that gets me mindful is, and it sparks joy for me, is moving my body, exercising however I can. You know, today was not a hard cardio day. It was about a 2-mile walk in the neighborhood. And then I did some weights later in the day between clients. I went upstairs and worked out. And just moving your body produces those endorphins, those feel-good— Um, chemicals and hormones in the body, and it will make you feel more joyful. And I'll tell you, there are times when I don't necessarily feel like working out, but I know because of the way it's going to make me feel, as soon as I get in the gym and I start moving my body, I instantly feel better. I feel more joy. It's where I feel good. But you don't have to work out. You can Dance. Dance like nobody's watching, but just move your body however you can. I've had people say, well, I can't, you know, I'm in a wheelchair, or my CRPS in my leg is just hurting too bad. And I said, well, can you go to the gym and do some upper body? Because I worked out in my wheelchair. If you can't get out of bed, what can you do as far as like breathing or just stretching or doing anything to still be just moving your body? One of the things that helps spark joy the most, and I can't stress this enough, it's community and connection. I always say the opposite of addiction is connection. The opposite of loneliness is connection. My default when I feel stressed or I feel a lot of pain is I want to kind of crawl under a rock. I want to pull the covers over my head. And the last thing that I actually want to do is connect. And I have learned to take contrary action and make sure that I connect. It makes such a difference when you can reach out to somebody and see how they're doing. If you can get on a call with, you know, another entrepreneur or maybe a sober sister or sober brother, if you can call your mom. If— call your dad, call one of your favorite people and just tell them why you're grateful for them. But it's, it's spending time, quality time with loved ones, and it's engaging in that deep conversation and participating in community activities. It's— it, it always sparks joy when you get to be around people with good energy and good intentions and that are joyful. And, you know, I was listening to a podcast The other day, and it was a doctor that was talking about joy. And it was very interesting. Speaking of being around people, did you know that they have done tests where they took a computer-generated beautiful model picture with just kind of a straight face, no excitement, no smile? And they've taken a real person that wasn't quite as Gorgeous, I guess, but they were smiling and they looked joyful. And every single time they put those pictures up and they asked the person which person was more beautiful, even though the model was basically perfect but she wasn't smiling, they always went to the smiling person. When you're joyful and you're smiling, you're more attractive. You'll do better in life, in relationships, and also in business. People want to be around joyful people. That joy is contagious. And so connect with others. That's one of the reasons I always say that my Unstoppable Life Mastermind is actually— I love doing the podcast, don't get me wrong, but I love my mastermind ladies because that connection with them, we are like family. We are soul sisters. And being able to connect, whether it's one-on-one with my mastermind, members or if it's in our group, when we get to share our experience, our strength, our hope, when we get to offer solutions, when we get to collaborate, and when I get to be of service, that just sparks more joy. So see what groups that you can connect with. See what networking groups you can connect with. Heck, throw a block party. But you can also connect on social media. I know for me, I love to see people on social media that spark joy. So I'm always looking for those joy sparkers out there. I think that's my new hashtag, joy sparker. How do y'all like that? I like joy spotting and joy sparker. Speaking of being with my mastermind members, one other thing. Well, I'm going to give you 2 more tips to spark joy. When you give back, when you are of service, that is where fulfillment really is. When you have a servant heart and you can go help others, I'll never forget I was working with a client and she was telling me, no, I just— I'm bored. I'm just not real happy with life. And I said, well, why don't you go donate your time? Go be of service. Go volunteer. And she said, oh, I don't want to do that. I said, well, it's so rewarding when you can go be of service. And so acts of kindness and generosity can create A profound sense of joy. I remember when we first moved to Texas, it was late. There was no there were no restaurants open, and Ruby and I were like we didn't have groceries yet. The only thing that we found that was open was a water burger. Now I don't know if you have water burgers where you live, but in Texas, I guess water burger is a pretty big deal. So we go in line, and I don't know why, but I just said, "You know, I'd like to pay for the person behind me too." And then we parked the car, and we were eating our. Burgers in the car, and this guy pulled up and rolled his windows down. And I kind of even forgot I was so hungry. I kind of forgot that I even paid for his food. And he goes, "Wow, thank you so much for paying for my food. I mean, I had a rough day, and this turned my day around. Thank you so much." And you know, it wasn't that expensive to buy a burger for him, but it made his day. And because that brought him joy, it. It brought, it brought me more joy. And you don't have to buy something for somebody if you, you know, don't have the money to do that. But, you know, I just got a message from one of my mastermind members, Jana Johnson, who— big shout out to you, Jana. I love you, girl. She is like the superstar, one of the superstars of the mastermind. This lady is amazing. She has written her book, started her podcast. She's all over social media. She's all over media in general. And she did reach out and talk about an act of kindness. She had somebody reach out to her and ask her about the mastermind. And she said, Amberly, I went on and on about how this has changed my life and how this person should definitely join your mastermind and learn from the best. I mean, she was giving all these compliments and I was like, oh my goodness. And so then I left her a message and it just sparks joy when Maybe you can leave a review for somebody on their podcast. That is— people appreciate that. Maybe you can go leave a review or buy your friend's book. Maybe you can just leave somebody a kind message through a text or a DM. I'm telling you, those kind acts of service really spark joy. It goes both ways. And then finally, one more tip, and you're going to get a lot more tips. This is just the little Little mini version of what you're going to get in Joy Through the Journey, the book, my new book. I will tell you, I have poured my heart and soul in this book, and I was reading my manuscript, and I was like, "Oh, maybe this is too much." I am really sharing it all. Like, I'm sharing things that I don't believe my husband even knows about. I'm getting raw and real. and vulnerable. And I'm sharing personal stories and how I've gotten through a lot of the ups and downs from when we were financially struggling, when I was struggling with depression, when I was struggling with panic attacks, when I was struggling with, you know, just getting sober. There's a lot of sobriety in this book. So the last thing I'll share with you today, because I wanted this just to be some quick tips for you, Is engage in activities that you love. Like, you know, I remember being a little kid and I just, man, I sparked joy making mud pies in the backyard. I don't know if y'all know what that is, but making mud pies is basically, I had some little play pots and pans and I would literally put mud in them and make little mud pies and create fake food out of mud. That brought me joy. And it was basically playing with mud in the backyard. Sometimes I think that we forget what brings us joy. And I have to say, so I just got back from this trip to California and I was like, oh my gosh, I— it was the most amazing trip. I did my favorite things. Well, number one, I had Ruby with me. Y'all, we rented a red convertible Mustang and we cruised down PCH and Mulholland Drive. And I thought, oh, the mountains and the sun, the sunshine on my skin, the convertible, the loud music, us singing out loud. Those are activities I love. Well, actually, I think being with Ruby is probably my most favorite thing in the world. Um, But everything that brought me joy, I did on that trip. And that was going to eat at Erewhon, my favorite restaurant, or my favorite— well, they've got the best deli, but it's a grocery store and it is the best. I wish they had one in Dallas. We ate there all 3 nights. It's so good. So good food can spark joy. Good nutrition can make you feel joyous. So we also went to the ocean. I got to connect with all my best friends out there. We went to restaurants. I got to work out. I woke up every morning and worked out in the hotel lobby. I still saw a client in the morning. And this is talking about an act of kindness. So the hotel did not have a quiet area. And I walked to the front desk and I was like, Hey, I couldn't meet on Zoom with a client in the hotel room because Ruby was still snoozing away. I went to the, to the lady at the front desk. I was like, is there any place quiet that I can meet with a client? And she said, you know what, if you go around the corner, I'll turn the music off for you. I thought, wow, that act of kindness, that just made me feel, feel so joyous. So do the things that you love. Whether that's eating at your favorite restaurant, seeing your favorite friends, getting outside and getting some sunshine, driving with the top off, listening to loud music. Ruby and I laughed so hard. I think one time I nearly peed my pants. Maybe that's too much info, but it just sparked so much joy. And when you can take time, little time, little time over and over and over, and you build upon that joy. It just makes your life so much better. It makes your relationships better. It makes your business better. So I hope you do some joy spotting. I hope you become a joy sparker. If there's something that resonated with you in this podcast episode, please take a screenshot and share it on your social media and tag me @AmberlyLagoMotivation. And you can hashtag joy sparker and share something you have done that has sparked Joy and anything, any tips that I gave. So again, remember: practice gratitude daily, cultivate mindfulness, connect with others, engage in activities that you love, give back, be of service, practice those acts of kindness, and I promise you're going to spark a lot of joy. You can now grab my book on at Barnes and Noble. I'm going to put the link for you in the show notes. You can also just Google me at Amberly Lago. Maybe joy. Through the Journey book on Amazon and grab that book. And I promise I'm going to have some really amazing giveaways and fun stuff to give you when you buy the book early. Anyway, thank you for tuning in and I will see you next time.