Make Your Dreams Win with Tracy Litt

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace Podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Thank y'all so much for joining us today. I have one of my really good friends on with us. Traci Litt is here today. Y'all, she brings on the magic. She's magic with your mind. She really elevates your life. She is a certified mindset coach, a rapid transformational hypnotherapist, and a bestselling author. And she has a TEDx talk. Y'all go like Google her right now. Just Google her TEDx talk, especially If you have any fear, because it's one of the best TED Talks I've ever seen. Anyway, Tracy, I love you. We have so much to talk about. I have so many questions for you. Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you so much for having me. I love you. I've been waiting to be able to do this with you. We are so lucky. Let's have a great conversation and let everybody listen.

Yes. Okay. I have to ask something really quick. Yeah. For your TED Talk.

Yeah.

What was it that made you decide to do it barefoot?

I do everything barefoot. You do?

I didn't know that about you. I didn't remember you being barefoot at Transform You. Yes.

Well, actually, at that venue— so this is so funny. This is a great story. So I love being barefoot. So, so much of our conversation and my work in the world is about bringing women back into their fullest expression of themselves. Right. And to me, I feel fullest in myself when I'm barefoot and braless, which I am right now, which I am like almost everywhere I am. When I have to speak on a stage, I wear a bra begrudgingly because I need somewhere to smack the mic back onto so it doesn't fall. My 3-day powerhouse, I was on stage and all my clients and students, like, they know because they just— they know me. Like, I'm, you know, we're very— we share energy, we're doing transformational work, so we're very connected. And what was funny about Transform You Live is that a few of them were there And I was getting messages like, you have shoes on. What's wrong? What's going on? I said, it was a trade-off between those killer white wide-leg pants or going barefoot, and I really wanted to wear the pants. And the pants are so incredible, but they required a heel because of the leg of the pants.

Yeah.

So sometimes you sacrifice the barefoot for the great white pants. So that's literally why I wasn't barefoot at Transform U, is because I loved the pants I was wearing so much and I couldn't do barefoot or they would've dragged the floor.

Yes. Well, you know what, shoes, shoes really matter. It's funny because the CRPS, I'd been at an event right before Transform U, so I had come from another event speaking for a few days, and then we met for the first time in person at Transform U. And I went backstage and put on my really comfy but very kind of ugly barn boots because they're most comfortable. And I remember I can't remember who told me, okay, you're about to go back on stage. Can you change your shoes? Because they were not very attractive. And I was like, okay, I'll change my shoes for a little bit. But you know what? I love that you, you know, I feel the best when I'm in my boots. I wear 'em and sometimes it's the only thing I can wear if I can wear a shoe. And I remember when I first started speaking, I had a mentor that was like, you have to wear a suit. You had to be this way, this way, and you have to dress this way. And then over the years, I was like, no, I have to do what works for me and what I'm most comfortable in. And it makes a difference when you show up. Like, even when I get dressed for anything, I'm like, I just, I'm gonna be, yes, I want to dress for the occasion. Mm-hmm. But I love that you go barefoot. And that's what I know. I was like, wait a minute. I zoomed in on that, uh, TED video. I was like, is she barefoot? I think she's barefoot. Yeah. I love that. And I think that allows people to even connect with you more. For me anyway, it kind of lets down a wall. Thank you.

I appreciate that. You know, and, and what I want for everyone is whatever you feel best in, be that. And not just talking about what you're putting on your body, but who you are and what you stand for and what you tolerate and how you make decisions. It has to be based on you, not what society wants or what your producer wants. You know how many people have told me, if you're going to be in a professional environment, then you need to be ABC? I'm like, yeah, no. And if you're not going to take me in that environment as me, then you're not the right environment for me. You know, and the world we're living in now is showing us more and more how important it is to be who you are and to question this kind of lazy river order of operations that life has wanted to push us all down, and stand for what matters to you, whether it's barefoot or not, right?

Mm-hmm.

It's just being who you are is the ultimate goal, because then you are fully expressed. And when you are fully expressed, You are energetically at your highest resonance, and then everything you desire becomes.

I love that. Well, you for a long time were in the corporate world and decided that you wanted more. You wanted to be a coach, you wanted to do your own thing. So you were very successful in corporate. What was that transformation like going from deciding to leave that job to becoming a coach. And now there's a lot of people that say they want to be a coach, but you have your own events, a huge coaching community. You coach people, you do speaking all over the place. We have the same speaking agent, Kelly. We love you if you're listening to this.

Yes.

Hello. Hello. We love you. Um, Upside Speakers, just a shout out for you. But how did you make that transition and what was it like? Because To go from having a steady income to, oh, I'm going to be an entrepreneur, I'm going to do my own thing. I want to know how you made that crossover and started your business. Hmm. Okay.

So, so good. And what's so interesting is it's literally how I arrived at the idea worth spreading for TEDx was literally birthed out of the question you just asked. So that's super cool. So, I was a VP of human resources for a huge global elder care brand. I love old people. I have a deep affinity for old people, and I think they are the most underrated part of our population. The wisdom. The wisdom, the connection, the perspective. I just want to say that out loud. So, I was sitting in that corporate job and nothing was wrong. You know, like, I'm doing well, I'm working from home, I'm making high 6 figures. You know, like, basically, when I started to contemplate I need to do more for myself, everyone around me thought I lost my mind. Because to, to what we're told to desire in our lives, I had hit gold, platinum. Like, where else do you even go from here, from the perspective of, like, what we're supposed to aspire for? Which is all such a product. So I'm sitting there and I knew, like, it was, you know, it was a soul's calling. It was something deeper in me that was saying, like, you've got more to give. You're special. You've got what to offer. You're really good at certain things. You should go explore this. These kind of, like, whispers inside of me. I didn't even know it was coaching at first. I just knew I wanted to help people deeper, broader, right? Like, I had already transformed myself from an unemployed single mother years before that with an 8-month-old baby, you know, waking up in a moment where I was like, whose life is this? Yeah. Like, how did you get to a no-college-education, unemployed single mother with an 8-month-old baby crying on your garage floor?

Mm-hmm.

Like, whose life is this? Because it's not yours. But it was mine, because I was a victim of myself, because I was tolerating underneath my value. I was so— I had so much worth work to do, right, that it was reflecting in my current reality. So, like, beautiful listeners, please know that, like, whatever's going on in your current reality right now is a direct match for who you're being. It's a direct match for your belief systems, your thoughts, what you're tolerating, what you're available for. It's not a mystery. You wanna go, oh my God, I know, like, wherever you are, boom, there you are.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and you are the generator of what you're experiencing. So I then ended up in, you know, climbing the ladder of corporate as a result of that first wake-up call, because it was either stay a victim or dramatically show up differently for you and that little girl in there who is about to turn 18 this Friday. It's crazy.

I just got goosebumps cuz yeah, I was a single mom for a long, long time and she saw me build a whole business from scratch and buy my first house. So I, I just got goosebumps when you say that. I, I really think it means a lot to our girls too when they see us do that.

Right.

And just, they can see that we've decided not to be a victim, but to be the victor of our life.

Exactly. It's everything. It's so interesting. It weaves into this new paradigm I just created. I wrote about it. Forbes picked it up. Finance just picked it up.

You're kidding me.

Yeah, really cool. So I want everybody to go check it out. It's this new paradigm called Expander Parenting, right? And it weaves so beautifully into this part of our conversation. So we've been taught as women especially— it's more— it's a woman-focused piece because I focus on women. We've been taught as women like what it is to be a good mom and should be sacrificial and should be living for your kids, and you should definitely feel guilty with frequency, and then you know you're being a good mom, right? The whole concept to what you just shared, expander parenting, is what if the 21st century paradigm of what it means to love our children unconditionally is to ensure that we are showing up in the fullest expression of who we are and accessing our limitless capacity? Because then it models for them what's possible.

Hell yes, I love that. And you know what, it's so funny, my daughter got out of the shower. We have this big shower and there's 2 shower heads. And so she's still young enough that we take showers And we get out of the shower and she's like, Mom, where's my robe? And I'm like, oh, you left your robe upstairs. She goes, well, can you go get it for me? And I said, well, I need to get my— she goes, give me yours. And I said, no, I need my robe. She goes, I can't believe you're taking care of you before me. And I said, Ruby, I'm taking care of me. If I take care of me first, then I can take care of you. There's sometimes when I'm working a lot and that mom guilt does kick in, but guess what? She has seen what I have built. And so she's a little entrepreneurial. She started her own business during COVID and we were shipping out boxes of her products. And so you're exactly right. We show them what's possible, but we also show them how important it is to take care of ourselves. Because I had a mom that didn't do that. She didn't take care of herself. She only took care of her kids. And I, I, my memories of her are she's an incredible mom. But like passed out from being exhausted on the sofa. And it's like, no, we have to show them that self-care— we have to take care of ourselves.

Yes, yes. And what you did for Ruby in that moment, right, is you imprinted in her a way of being. So when she becomes a mother, should she choose that path, She's going to then carry on that same model, which then for her children, right? It's like, this is how we actually create generational change. In The Lit Factor, like, we have a lot of missions. One of the biggest missions is like walking the walk.

Mm-hmm.

To make things different for the generations to come. Because every, you know, everybody likes to talk. Everyone's a post and talk and a meme and a this and smash the patriarchy this and blah, blah, blah. It's like, you know what? Who are you being? What are you modeling? Right? Because the only way to change things is to change. Like you said, you didn't have a mother who— you had a mother who was a martyr. So do most people do, because it's generational, right? The way that our great-grandmothers were into our grandmothers, and from our grandmothers into our mothers, and our mothers into us. And we're the human— in my book, I describe it as the drip process. Like, your grandmother drips shit on your mother, your mother drips it down on you, and now you're like, ooh, do I want to drip this on Ruby? Not so much. I'm going to make a higher level consciousness choice. I'm going to make a more progressive choice. And now what you've dripped on her is a totally different perspective, and she'll take that with her. That's how we change things for the future. We have to be different. So I think it's amazing. Yeah.

Thanks. Something as simple as that, that little conversation. For so long, I didn't take care of myself, and I would end up in the emergency room from infection after infection after infection because I didn't get enough rest. And Tracy, You said something. We were out to dinner or maybe just sitting talking backstage or something at the event, and you said something that— and I talk about you a lot to my friends and even on the show because you said something that really shifted rest for me. You said, oh, I love to rest. You said, it's part of my business strategy. And I was like, oh, well, I could do that because then if it's a part of my business strategy, I could definitely do that. And I mean, I took it to a whole new level. I got this Oura Ring for Christmas that tells me how much sleep I'm getting, how much deep sleep, how much REM sleep, and all that. So that really changed things for me. And I thought, I want to be a mom that shows my children that how important it is to take care of ourselves, how important sleep is, eating the right foods. In fact, Ruby texted me this morning. She's been texting me all morning. She's 13 and she's in track. And she's like, Mama, come pick me up from school. I'm sick from running. And I keep telling her, you have to have a little something for breakfast if you want to perform well. And she's learning. And I'm like, well, are you okay? She said, well, I'm crawling. I said, okay, well, good thing you're crawling. Keep moving forward. You're gonna stay at school.

Exactly. I'm not coming to save you. You're gonna have to learn through. That's a big piece too. Like, you know, Being so solid in ourselves that we don't feel like we need to rescue everything that's happening right in our kids and letting them experience the consequence of their choices.

It's so hard, you know, it's hard sometimes to be like, okay, you're crawling, okay, well then at least you can crawl, keep moving for you. I'm like, oh, that's kind of tough, tough love. But yeah, I want to, you know, I think it's so important to teach that. It is.

It's everything we have. I believe right now, our generation specifically, we're like sitting in this consciousness revolution where we have this divine responsibility to do the work on ourselves and show up differently. I feel we are the generation that normalizes investing in yourself, that normalizes growth work, healing work, expansion work. It's not some luxury. It's not like, oh, once I do these 75 other success measures, then I'll get coaching, or then I'll join a group, or program, or then I'll heal, you know, the wounds that I've been sitting on for the past 35 years. It's recognizing that you're the asset, right? We are the asset of our lives, and we are the thing that's going to generate the biggest ROI. So, all of it needs to go inward, right? And that's the exciting part. So, it was almost like the whispers that were happening to me when I was in corporate was like, you're here to do something. Like, I was born To affect change, right? To really create something that long lives after I die, to have an impact in this world that is measured and monumental. And it was a whisper the whole time I was in corporate. And then I started researching, well, like, what's kind of like service-providing industries? Those are everything. Psychotherapy, coaching, hypnotherapy, this, like anything that like was helping people with transformation.

Right.

And that's when I found the personal growth world. And if you haven't been in personal growth, I'm just like, tell me if you had any experience like this. It's like I started to find it, it was like a wormhole. And then I was like, what is this land? Coaching this and like all of these things. Like, you don't realize what a vast industry it is, right? Neuroplasticity and—

Oh yeah.

And healing and modalities and energy and You know, all of these things. And as soon as I like fell into that world, it was like, oh yes, girl, this is what you need to be doing. And then the important part is, is that I did nothing for 2 years because I was so scared.

Wow.

So I had all this—

I was like, yes, oh my God, this is what I'm supposed to do with my life.

I found it. And I know, I know that you guys, you're listening, like you're like, yes, oh my God, I've had that experience. Because what happens is, is that Our soul wakes up to something, we have a calling towards it, and then we're like, oh, I'll do nothing. So, it's like Monday, I was like, I'm freaking doing this! And then on Tuesday, I was like, I'm not doing this. And then on Wednesday, I was like, I'm totally taking the leap and I'm gonna go to this coaching school. And on Thursday, I'd be like, who do you think you are? You suck. What if it's too much of a risk? Success is not for you. I now teach it to my clients as the gas brake, right? I was gas braking myself constantly. Because I was so scared. So, when I finally ended up taking the leap— 2 years I sat in that gas brake energy. Finally took the leap because I had a visit from my Higher Self one night, dark night. Literally dark outside, not like dark night of the soul. I had had plenty of those in my life. It was dark outside. I was sitting on a beach away with my husband, and the whitecaps were coming over the waves. I live in Florida, and you could hear the crash and just see the whitecaps. And he was not outside with me at the time, and I was sitting there, and it was like my higher self came through, and it felt like this in words: you are meant for more, and you're not going to get out alive, so let's do this thing.

Hmm.

And I took the leap. And when I took the leap, I said, okay, now I need to understand, which is why now I'm a fear and risk expert, right? When I work with women visionaries and entrepreneurs, we're moving through fear like wildfire because I was so confused and curious by how could I have felt so clear and so excited and so paralyzed all at the same time? Like, what actually was that? So I started learning about it biologically, and now it's a huge component of what I teach.

Oh yeah. And I love your TED Talk is all about—

That's exactly where it came from.

Yeah. And you know what I loved about your TED Talk is I loved that you broke up with fear, and you wrote a letter and encouraged people to write their own letter to themselves. But you are— I have to say, Tracy, you are such an incredible speaker. You're one of the best speakers I've ever heard. Um, I mean, your TED Talk— there's a lot of TED Talks out there, but yours, I was like, wow, dang, that's good. But you recited your letter where you're breaking up with fear, and you make it the way you describe it, because we all have fear. I remember I remember when they asked me to do a TED Talk. It's something I'd always wanted to do, dreamed of doing. And when I got that email that they wanted me to do the 10-year anniversary TED Talk for Berkeley, I was scared to death. I remember sitting in a ball on the sofa thinking, what's wrong with me? I thought I'd be really excited, but I'm really scared. Who cares what I have to say? I don't have anything important to say.

Who—

they're gonna laugh at me. What if I get up there and freeze? What if I can't even stand up? Like all the The fear was talking loud. So you're an expert in getting through that, really changing it. Do you still have fear? And do you— if you do, how do you get through it?

There's, there's no such thing as fearlessness. Um, and I have fear all the time, which is amazing.

You do?

Oh my God. Unless you are, and it's totally cool if you are, This. But unless you are—

Dead?

Unless you're dead, pretty much, yes. Unless you are like status quo and not interested in changing at all, having more or different or less than, you wanna live in the same emotional experiences, you wanna live in the same external experiences, you are just good, and if you died tomorrow the way it was, you're fine. Like, that's it, right? Then your fear response won't be activated. But when you are someone who is growing, healing, expanding, wanting to shift and liberate from— it could be something like, I don't wanna worry anymore! Right? That was something that my grandmother or my mother did, and I don't wanna be a worrier anymore!

Mm-hmm!

Shifting from worry to trust and ease is gonna trigger your fear response in the same way that your fear response is gonna be triggered when you wanna climb Machu Picchu for the first time! Because anything different, unfamiliar, or unknown... Is going to activate your survival response. And then here comes fear. And then fear triggers your self-doubt, which is where all of that low-level disempowering thinking comes from. Like you just said, what if I freeze on stage? What if I don't remember the words? What if I suck? What if they laugh at me? That's not— that's not your higher self thinking. That's not conscious awareness thought. That is literally your fear response working to keep you alive in the hopes that you won't go do the thing. And stay the same because it doesn't have evidence. Oh, wow, look, you know, Tracy's done a TEDx and she's lived to tell the tale. Unless you have evidence for it, your system is constantly fighting to keep you the same. Really important for us to know that.

But the thing is, it could be anything. It doesn't even have to be going, going on stage. It could be fear of making a phone call, fear of like going to ask the guy The cute guy at the store question. Like, it could be so— it comes up all the time.

Everything, everything, everything. And that's why it's so important to understand the depth and the breadth of your inner power. It's so important to not just know, like, oh, you know, if I change my thoughts, I change my life, but to actually embody that, right? And, and not let Low-level thinking, go past your conscious awareness. It's so important to connect to your body and regulate your nervous system because that's directly connected to your fear response. So you're not going to like affirm your way into moving through your fear. You also have to be able to interrupt your nervous system because the truth is that we're safe.

Mm-hmm.

Here's the thing I can promise you, and now I have gotten to— so blessed and fortunate that there are thousands of women globally I have never, ever lost a client to death of visibility. I've never had a client die because they used their voice. I've never had a client die because they got visible. I've never had a client die because they finally hit publish on that book. Like, no. But these are the things that your psyche wants you to believe, because anything different than who you are and how you feel in this moment means imminent death. To your mind and body. So, like, think about it like that. Well then, ugh! That's a real conundrum! Because you've got a mind and body that's actively trying to keep you the same, and then you have all of this desire and want and potential that's like, more! Different! Ahh! Right? So, understanding that means we get to understand, okay. So then, what's Tracy actually saying? Well then, either your mind wins and your dreams lose— Or your dreams win and your mind loses, and there's no gray.

Wow. Well, and, and it's so— that fight or flight. Um, I did— I love that you, you actually— I— you've changed my life all the time, girl. This is what I was doing last night to calm myself down. So you did this breathing exercise where you breathe in for 2 counts, you hold it for 4, And then breathe out through your nose. And I did that along with you. And then last night, even in bed, to kind of interrupt my nervous system to calm me down, I did that same thing. And it really works. It's amazing how breathwork can just change— because change how you feel and the fear. And because there are times when I'm, uh, you know, nervous or scared about something, and I realize I'm holding my breath. I'm not even breathing. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm not even breathing.

Isn't that like— like, everyone be with us on this, because now that we're having this conversation, you're going to start to recognize that you do hold your breath, or your breathing is very shallow and erratic. It's very up here in the chest. Oh, it's too— it's too many breaths. What we want to start to do is retrain our whole respiration system, right? The entire way that we breathe. And over time, your breathing gets more meaningful, more intentional, deeper, slower, calms your whole body down. Because we are a society of acute chronic stress people running like chickens with our heads cut off.

Mm-hmm.

We even have bodies, and our bodies are the connection to our power.

Our bodies are the connection to our power. We just have to listen. Yes.

But in order to listen, you have to be willing to feel all the feelings that you've been suppressing and avoiding for the past 4 decades.

Mm-hmm.

And that's—

Oh, yeah. Right.

I mean, let me really think about— it's not only habitual because we're a capitalistic society and it's like, go, go, go. Your to-do list should have to-do lists, which is terrible and detrimental. Right. Another thing we get to change in the consciousness revolution. Oh, my God. God, my brain just went in 2 places. What were we just saying before that? That happens sometimes.

Well, wait a minute. The to-do list. Oh, do you, are you somebody that has a to-do list or not?

No.

No. Oh, I love to-do lists.

Yeah.

You know why? You know why? Because I like crossing stuff off.

Totally. And I get that. And actually, okay, from a brain science standpoint, that helps build esteem, right? Because I love it.

Like I've already crossed some stuff off. Sometimes I'll put really easy stuff on there, like water the plants.

Yeah.

Just so I can cross it off.

Yeah. And I have like a strategic process, right? Like, I literally just went in to say hi to my husband because we both work from home, like many people now, right?

Yeah.

I went into his office just to say hi, and I walked in and I was like, oh my God, I just cleaned out my inbox. Like, it felt so good. Like, I'm at zero. I've got nothing. This is so exciting.

Yeah.

Can you help me bang out this thing because I want to have a zero inbox and I got to like do this thing? Things like, yeah, I'm very much a get-it-done kind of girl. Like, I drive that way, but I don't like to have to-do lists because they make me feel heavy.

Oh.

So, like, I prioritize. I run through prioritization versus, like, time management. It's like, all right, I know these are the things I want to bang out. What I use a lot are the big, huge white Post-it notes.

Uh-huh.

I like those because they feel spacious. So I can, like, write down all the different things, the projects.

Oh, I've got that over here too. Sticky notes on my desk and a big whiteboard over here. But there, there is a question that, since you brought up your husband, so how did he feel about when you dove into the self-development world and, and you started to change? You changed careers, you started doing all this stuff. Is he into self-development and growth as well?

I was smiling so big because this is such a great topic. We need to do like another episode just on change in relationships and spouses.

Okay, because let me tell you, it's— oh yeah, yeah.

So a couple things. First of all, I could not ask for— this makes me so emotional in the best way— like a more loving— like, he blindly believes in me and whatever I decide. Um, you know, if I told him I'm gonna make the sky purple, he'd be like, yes, you are. Like, whatever, right? So when I decided to go back to school as an adult learner, I mean, I'm going to be 45 in a month. So I was 30.

You youngster. You're such a youngster.

I think I was 39 when I started coaching school. The Lift Factor is only 5 years old. So I remember when I did that, I went to him and I said, I want to sell the house because we were living in this really beautiful high-end community that had a guard gate, which is like, okay, whatever. But I was thinking, I want to build a company. I'm looking for a legacy empire here. So how can I create more space and a run rate So that we could lower our overhead initially because we're going to drop my big VP job salary, right? So like, how do we work on this? And he was like, great, yeah, let's do that. Like, he would like just no questions asked. Yes, let's do that. So always from the second I made the decision, he was nothing but extraordinary and supportive.

That's amazing because—

Amazing.

That is amazing because my husband is the best. He's amazing. He's the best man. But like, he was like, you want to write a book? You don't even own a computer. Like he now he believes in me, and he's like, okay. Now I because when I say I do something, guess what? I do it. And he's learned that he he he's learned that about me. But it took a while, and it wasn't always that way. So that's amazing that your husband was right away like okay supportive.

Now on the flip side of what you're saying, when I started to do the work, you know starting a business, and here we go totally. Now when I started to do the work, and I'm I'm now. Releasing judgment. I mean, I was the most highly judgmental, highly controlling. Like, if you would have met me 5 years ago, like, what? Like, just really? Oh yeah, so many. I've had so many transformations, like doing my work. The curriculum of my life is what I teach, like how did I get to where I am and doing all these things. So where I went wrong, I realize now— and now I love being wrong, by the way. It's such a— it's an incredible—

Well, you learn a lot, don't you?

Yeah, it was— I was so righteous. So, as I was doing that work on myself, right? And I'd be like doing thought work, and I'm changing, and I'm doing all these things. And he would come out of his office or whatever and come home and be negative. I would be all like, "Why are you being negative? Don't you know that you there's another way to live? Don't you know that you can just like choose your thoughts and feel differently?" And da da da da da. So I'm sharing this because I'm telling you what not to do with the people you love, because it was coming from a great place of like you can feel so much better, and it's so easy. But it was coming out as— because in order to help someone, you must— in order to make a suggestion like, hey, don't you know blah blah blah, you're inherently in judgment of them.

Yeah.

I was judging like, well, what you're doing is wrong, blah blah blah, and here's how you can make it easier. That was rough for a while because he was not ready. And that's another thing to know, like, everyone operates at different levels of consciousness, and depending on your consciousness, you're aware of different things or not aware of different Mm-hmm. And some people are ready to see and experience things at different stages of life, not just because we say it's time, but because we each have to be on that path and that readiness. Because the awakening and the healing and the growing and the shifting your levels of mind and your identity, that is a very personal job. And our spouses have to be ready on their own. Now that I learned, okay, you know what the best thing I could do is? Nothing.

Being a— I, I've just learned that, you know, I— to be an example, I remember, you know, my husband said to me, well, you're in your own little bubble in your self-development speaking world conferences bubble. And I'm like, well, honey, do you want to read some of these books? Do you want— He goes, I'm not into that. Shit. And I'm like, okay, well, they're here when you're ready.

Right, exactly. And that's so beautiful that you did that. And I got to that place where I just, you know, live and let live. And then what started to happen is slowly but surely I would be like journaling and he would come over my shoulder and be like, what are you doing? What is that that you're doing? How does that work? And now fast forward 5 years, he's totally aware. He talks about his vibration. He's worked with hypnotherapy. therapists and other coaches, and he reads, and, you know, which is really the path for all of us. It's just a function of will you wake up in this lifetime or not?

Yeah, that's amazing. That is amazing. Yeah, I was amazed. You know, my husband and I've— he's, he's coming along, like, but I haven't forced, forced it on him. But, and I just, like you said, don't try. I'm not gonna— it's everybody, we all judge, like, and I catch myself and I'm like, stop. That's who he is. That's, you know, or that's who that person is. There's plenty about me that like, I'm sure he's like, oh my gosh, I wish she would change that. But it's like just being in a place of acceptance, I think. But so, but I want to get to some magic here.

Yes.

Because you, you're magical. I said that in the very beginning, but You do have this high vibe energy about you. And I remember when I first met you, it was instant connection. Like we sat beside each other at dinner and I feel like we'd been friends for life. We just sat and talked. It just felt good. You felt like home, you know? And we just connected immediately and we can go for weeks without talking and then pick up the phone and it's like we're right back where we started. But you, it shows like how much work you've done on yourself because you're just, your energy, you're just so incredible. to be around. People are just so attracted to your energy and your light. And you have something called Mind Magic, and I want you to explain what that is.

What is Mind Magic? Thank you. First of all, I receive all of that. I felt the same exact way. Like, I remember where we were sitting at that big, gorgeous, huge table. This table, you guys, this table was— it was the biggest table I've ever sat at. It was huge. And you and I were together, and I was just like, I'm just over here in the corner with my sister eating some bread, hanging out, talking. Like, it just felt so like Easy and safe.

Yeah.

That's what real connection is. It's that feeling of safety, uh, and it just was so good. So I feel you and I love you, and I just wanted to acknowledge what you said. Um, so my magic is, um, so all of us are magical. Start there. When we tap into the depth and breadth of our inner power, and what I mean by that is Healing, mastering the way we think, mastering regulation in our bodies and our nervous system, connecting to the next level version of ourself and learning what it means to let that version of you lead before your current reality supports what you keep saying you want. That's the magic that I'm talking about, right? It takes all of those components and we all have this magic within us. Mind Magic is the program, the proven framework that I have built over time that is essentially the curriculum of what I've done on myself, because anything I teach or coach, I always have to try it on first, right? It's like, I'm not going to give you a meal that I don't love.

Oh, I'm the same way. I'm the same way. Even when I was a personal trainer, if I had any client that wanted to try some new fad diet or something, I'm like, wait a minute, what are you doing? Well, let me do that with you so I can test that out before—

And prove it. Like, I like proof. Mm-hmm.

Right?

And, um, so Mind Magic is now— it is a 6-month container. It is a proven framework and transformational program that marries neuroscience, quantum law, metacognition, healing, and spirituality into one place so that you can easily become the next level version of yourself. And then take all of the practices and tools, because then you're a mind magician and you can just boom. Like, you, you know, a mind magician never lets their outside circumstances influence their inner environment. They generate with ease. They know that the definition of success is the amount of hours of the day you spend feeling how you wanna feel, right? They're detached. They're living at high levels of trust and love and radiance. And we are living at a higher level dimension, right? There's— consciousness is the quality or state of our awareness, and there are dimensions of consciousness available to us. And the more conscious you become, the more perspective you gain, and the more the world opens up, and the more magic of your own life. own you access. So Mind Magic is a group coaching container specifically for women leaders and entrepreneurs. And you come in and you are in the best community on earth and you are doing the inner work of your life and it works 100% of the time. We have a 0% fail rate.

Okay. How many people are in? Is it a live kind of coaching?

It's a combo. It's a hybrid container. So right now I think 180 women are Right. In process right now. But at the end of your 6-month container, you can stay, and we usually have renewals, right? So, women wanna stay because the community— the community is the best thing in the world. Because every— yes, every human, but right now I'm gonna talk about women. Every woman needs to feel the experience of having other women, hundreds of women rally around her and love her and support her. With no competition and no bullshit and nothing negative. So many women have such a negative connotation with other females.

See, I've never had— I can say I've never had that, thankfully. I don't know why and how I haven't had that, because being a dancer, you know, and when I first moved to LA going to auditions, there were a lot of girls that hated me. I just don't hate. I love people and I love women. So I would walk into these auditions and be like, like, hey, how you doing? Well, break a leg. Good luck, man. I hope we nail this one, you know? And they'd be like, oh, like, you're my competition. And I was like, there's a place for us all. Like, I, I just never had that competition thing.

And that's beautiful. And that makes so much sense just in your energy, right? That's not the norm, right? So I don't love the word norm, but what's more common That's a better way to say it, is that women shrink and don't have as much confidence around other women. And that becomes comparative.

See, I love women. And at this last event that I was speaking at, the event planner was like, oh my gosh, thank you. So it was a women's event. Thank you so much for staying the whole time and hanging out with the attendees and this and that. And there were so many people that were surprised that I was like down on the floor hanging out with the attendees, dancing with them, hanging out. Well, I love community and I love women, and I'm there to get to know people, not just to go speak on stage and leave, but to really get to know people. And you're so right, we do need that community. So thank you for the work that you're doing. I feel like one thing that really helped me with sobriety, but also through the pandemic, is You know, I go to women's meetings for recovery, and that helps me stay sober. So I know the importance of community and accountability is everything. So I think it's amazing you already have 180 people in this.

Oh yeah, and that, and that rotates too. There's been— we've had, we've had, um, almost 300 women go through and become Mind Magicians.

Okay, I have a question for you.

Yeah.

So, Mind Musician— Magician, and I know we're running out of time. I mean, I literally could just talk to you all day, but I'll get to it. Okay, what would you do in this scenario? Your car broke down, you haven't eaten, so you're really stressed out. You just found out that your kid is sick and you're on your way to pick them up and you're stressed out. You're in fear that you're not going to make it. All these things— what do you do for your mind and your body in that circumstance?

Okay, quick fix. Cry, cry, cry.

I love that freaking answer. Thank you for that.

And if you're feeling zesty, cry and scream both, okay? Because we need that. We need to recognize and embrace the emotions that are human and stop judging them and shushing them away and being overly resilient and strong and not let them see a sweat and all of that patriarchal garbage that is impacting our current belief structures, right? Literally, I put myself in that scenario. I would, I would sit down wherever I was, right? And I would cry until I was done crying. Then I would breathe intentionally in one of the many different breathing patterns, right, that we can to become. And then I would say to You are time. You are time. Hmm. So now you've released the emotion that's stuck in your body. You've regulated your nervous system so you're more chill, and you are time. This whole chasing—I'm not gonna be there in time. Blah blah blah. All that is is like constriction, tension, tension, tension. It's not helpful because you are time. And if you want to play with that, recognize the next time you believe you're running late and you say to yourself, "Wait a minute." I am time, I am time. You're gonna end up getting to that appointment and the other person's gonna be backed up and delayed, or something's gonna have shifted and you are right on time.

Um, I love that, and it makes me feel better to hear you say that because when I first moved here and I had no internet and I was freaking out and I had a meltdown, so I did it all. I cried, I screamed, I scared the hell out of my husband. He was like Oh my God, I've— we've been through some serious stuff and I've never seen you like this. And I'm like, I, I have to have the internet. That's how I get to work. That's how I pay for our house. That's, you know, I was freaking out. So thank you for saying that. That— and you know what I always tell Ruby when she cries? He's like, don't cry. He's Mr. Tough Guy. And I'm like, You cry, girl. You let it out. Let it out. Because I didn't cry for a long time. I stuffed it down, stuffed it down. So thank you for that. So that, that is the, the best advice ever. Do you have time for like a couple more questions?

Yes, of course. Okay, okay, I'm with you.

Okay, well, I did not realize until I did more research on you that you lost your mother at a very young age. I'm so sorry to hear about that. Where were you in your career and how did that impact how you worked, how you parent, and how you are today?

So good. Thank you for asking about her. She's been gone for 21 years on May 2nd, and I feel my feelings very liberally, as you could imagine. She was my best friend. She was doing personal growth before personal growth was cool.

Really?

She passed in 2001, and in the end of the '90s, she got liver cancer that— or rather colon cancer that metastasized to her liver. She was being given a 6-month diagnosis for living, and she extended it to 3 and a half years.

Wow.

She started tapping into this work, and she started making the connection of emotional repression in the body and creating of dis-ease in the system manifests in physical dis-ease. So, she was fully aware of her cancer origin, because she was, in health stats, I mean, beacon of health. Like, healthy, never smoked, didn't drink, like, none of the things that you would be like, oh, well, did she? You know what I mean? So, it was all internally. Her cancer was an internal. It was an external manifestation of a lot of internal stuff that she never processed in her life.

That's so crazy. You know, I just have you read the book *The Body Keeps the Score*?

Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah. So she started down this journey as a 21-year-old. I was like, ugh, like you know you're 21. It's like yeah, whatever. She's crazy. There are people with crystals. She saw the film with Deepak Chopra. There's all before Deepak Chopra was like Deepak Chopra. Like she was doing spiritual counseling, and then she was doing women's. And she was doing women's leadership, and she was doing speaking, and she was— she built this entire thing over the course of those 3 years where you would never have known she was sick. She was not evidently sick until about a month before she passed, and it was just like, done. It was amazing to witness. So a few things. I, in a lot of ways, have carried on her work in the way she hoped she would have been able to.

Amazing.

Um, I have all of her articles and columns. I have, you know, it was the '90s, so you used to write on big index cards in marker. I'll text you of like what she would write, and I'll go to do something now, and then I'll go back to her work and I'll cross-reference it, and I'll be like, I just wrote that. Like, I just wrote that.

Oh, wow.

Wild, wild, wild. So it's a continuation, and I don't take anything seriously.

Ever.

It was such a gift of her passing, right? Which sounds weird, but that's part of the grief process. And to me, to honor the person you loved and lost is to show up differently as a result, honor— to honor their life, right? To do something with the fact that they're gone. And everything's relative now, Amberly. So it's like, literally, if it is not an actual life or death scenario, I got nothing. Like, and not in an apathetic way, but in a, this doesn't mean anything. Like, I'm not going to take any of that seriously. Good business month, bad business month. This happens, that happens. It's like, whatevs.

I'm alive. It does shift your perspective. Very traumatic things that come up. I grew up living through tornadoes here in Texas. Well, we have our first tornado warning here, and my daughter called me and she's like, Mom, all sports have been canceled. We've got this tornado warning. And she was freaked out. And I was like, oh, it's probably going to be exciting. Not that I don't have feelings, but it's like, it's a tornado. We're gonna be fine. We're gonna live through it, you know? Because when you have seen death, experienced death, lost someone near you to death, it's like it really does shift your perspective on things.

It does. And it's important because as a, as a culture, we're so intense And we give so much energy to spaces that is so wasteful. And we are so much more serious. Everything's so serious.

Mm-hmm.

And nothing's actually serious.

Yeah.

Right? And it's important to take that because also as you employ more levity in your life, more relativity, you feel so much happier. You're so much lighter. And then what happens when you feel happy and you're lighter? You generate more with ease. You show up in your business with more creativity. You identify innovation. and solutions. You want to be touched. You want to be closer to your partner. Like, all these beautiful things happen when you feel good. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Wow. Well, I want to touch on one more question before we go. Thank you for sharing that. Um, I'd love to see those cards.

I will, I will get them and text you.

Oh yeah, that's, that's beautiful. Um, I want to hear a little more about your book. Worthy Human. I want to know, first of all, how long did it take you to write it? Because it took me— I always ask that question because it took me like 2 years to write my book, but I was in and out of surgeries during that time. And so I'd like start— I also got sober during the middle of writing my book and shifted a whole bunch. So yeah, it was a tough time. But how long did it take you to write your book?

About a year.

About a year? Yeah, I hear some people like Oh, it just poured out of me. I just talked to somebody the other day and they're like, I wrote half of the book on my flight to Florida and then I wrote the other half on the way home. And I'm like, seriously, dude, it took you a few hours? Like, wow, that's amazing. So tell us a little bit about the book, who it's meant for, and then where people can find it.

Yes, so it's called Worthy Human: Because You Are the Problem. So it's very intentional, that tagline, and to recognize, you know, if it triggers you, great. Like, oh, what do you mean I'm the problem? Because ultimately, we are the cause of the effect. We are the magic and the creator and the generator of what we're experiencing. And when we realize that in actual fact, there are no problems, it's perception of problem, and then we recognize, oh, and we're the solution, like, boom. So I don't have to wait on my spouse. spouse to change to feel happier. No, I don't have to wait for my business to 10x financially for me to feel more confident and worthy. No, like, it's not this conditional happiness way that we've all been brought up to believe it is. So Worthy Human is the basis of we are born worthy. Our worth, our wholeness, our lovability is inherent. You are enough because you are breathing. And that's a really big deal because we've all been raised under the opposite guides. We've all been raised we have to We've been raised through the religious structure, through the lens of oppression. We've been raised in sin. We've been raised in all of these really intense ways that take away our ability to believe in our enoughness as our birthright. So Worthy Human is an explanation of that and a journey through both in theory and in work. There's a lot of practices throughout the book. I love that I get to inspire. I love I love it. I love that people find me motivational. I love it. Those things are very secondary to me. I'm looking for you to change. I'm here for the transformation, right? And in order to do that, it's my responsibility to give you the practical application of what I'm saying. So if I say to you, change your thoughts and change your life, I'm then going to teach you how to change your thoughts, to change your life daily on a practical level, right? If I'm going to tell you you need to relax your nervous system so that you can XYZ, I'm going to show you. This is how. So, The Work, the book is a combination of theory and story and client situations, and then sections called The Work where you stop and actually actively engage in the work. And it is available on Amazon. And the audiobook, I recorded myself. So, that's a beautiful experience because it's me reading it to you and yelling at you a little and loving you the way you need to be.

Yeah.

So it's a good experience.

Well, I love that it requires action because you know what, you can listen to all the podcasts, you can read all the books, you can go to all the conferences. It takes a willingness and daily action to actually make that transformation happen. Like when I was, you know, learning to walk again, nobody was going to do that for me. I had to walk. I had to start to move my legs again and start take that step. Same thing with my mindset. So as you're I just think that's so important that we have that and we have action steps. And so, oh, Tracy, I love you. Thank you for being on the show. Tell everybody where they can find you. If you're in your car, if you're jogging, or you can find all of these links in the show notes, either on Apple, Spotify, on my website at amberlylago.com, all the show notes where you can find her. Her course Mind Magic, her book, her TEDx, all of those links, or you can find it on YouTube. But tell everybody the best where you hang out, where they can find you, get your book, and all that good stuff.

Yes, definitely. So thelittfactor.com, that's the hub, right? So it's the LIT L I T T thelittfactor.com. That is the website, and everything is linked there. Social at the LIT Factor on Instagram is a great spot to come. And hang out, and we just started TikTok. So we're on TikTok now. You did. Literally like last week, we are fresh on TikTok, which is super.

How's that? Wait, how's that going for you? How do you like it?

I mean, so far so good. It's been how about it's too early? I'll let you know in a few weeks because like we literally just started last week, and it seems fun. But we're doing a lot of like repurposing. I have so much beautiful content. I've done so much teaching. So right now we're doing a lot of that and putting it into shorter clips so it's digestible.

Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. It's so crazy. So I started out on TikTok with a big bang and got like over 600,000 views on this one video, and then it was like 20,000 views, and then it was like 40,000, then it was 100,000 views. And now I looked at my video, I'm like, huh, 100 views. Maybe they don't like me talking so much, they like the dancing.

I don't know.

I'm trying to figure out TikTok. So that's why I was asking.

I'll let you know what I learned. I'm not seasoned enough to actually give any insight yet, so we'll see. But so I would say Instagram @thelitfactor and go to whatwouldshedoenet. That is a free audio training. It's a gift from me to you. It's 3 parts. It's amazing. I'm going to take you on a journey to meet your next level self, and then I'm going to teach you how to let her Okay, say that again.

I want people to get that free gift. What is it again?

whatwouldshedoenet.

Okay, y'all got it. It's in the show notes.

Yay.

Yay.

Thank you. Thank you for who you are in the world and doing this and showing up every day. Like, you're so— you are just bright.

Oh, I love you.

Personification of sunshine. Every time I see you, every time you're at an event, every time you're posting, Oh, thank you so much.

You make me cry. I'm making happy tears though. They're happy tears. Anyway, thank you for sharing your wisdom. I'm so inspired by your work and moved, truly moved by the work that you do. And I adore you. Thank you for sharing your wisdom on the show. And y'all take a snapshot if you're listening on Apple or if you're watching on YouTube, take a snapshot and, and share it in your story on Instagram and I'll see it and share it in mine. So @AmberlyLagoMotivation and @TheLipFactor, y'all share it so we can see it. Thank you. I will see you next time.

Love you. Thank you.

Love you.