Making Your Life Matter Now with Dan Clark

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hey, thank you for tuning in to True Grit and Grace. Oh my goodness, y'all. I have such a treat for you. My favorite motivational speaker and author is with us. I have Dan Clark. He's an entrepreneur, transformational leader, Hall of Fame motivational speaker, athlete, adventurer, musician. Y'all, Dan Clark doesn't just teach what he knows. He teaches what he's done, who he is, and what he lives. He's the founder and CEO of International Leadership Development Company. He's a high-performance business Coach, New York Times bestselling author of 35 books. I love his The Art of Significance book that I have right in front of me now. He has done so much. He's a primary contributing author to Chicken Soup for the Soul series, international podcaster, gold record songwriter, and an award-winning athlete who's fought his way back from a paralyzing injury. that cut short his football career. I could go on and on. I had the honor of, well, actually sharing the stage with Dan, but I got to hear him speak at an event that we did together called Secret Knock. I laughed, I cried, and I just love you, Dan. So thank you for being on the show. I can't think of a more perfect guest to have on.

You're resilient.

You've got a heart of gold and you definitely have— are living a life of significance. So thank you for being here.

Thanks. You know, you introduced me as a motivational speaker and that always kind of a weird introduction for me because most motivational speakers, they say goofy things like we become what we think about. And that's not true. If that was true, I would've been Amberly Lago by the time I was 12. Just to put it into perspective, we always meet people who put their best foot forward, their best face on, and so often we don't see the behind-the-curtains life. And in my experience as a professional speaker for 40 years, the only credibility we really have is to be the same offstage as we are onstage.

Mm-hmm.

The predictability, the trust, transference of trust. And I just want everyone to know in the True Grit and Grace Tribe family that, you know, you're a beautiful soul inside and out. Everybody sees that. They see your grace, your sophisticated elegance. But I want everybody to know that what attracts me to you and what attracts everyone to you, Amberly, is that you're exactly the same with everyone. And you're the same offstage as you are onstage. So when we start talking about Credibility. Everybody reads our bios, and I've known you for a while now, and I should have yanked your chain and said, I'm not coming on your podcast unless I have a mob spotlight and a fog machine. Because we always think it's about us, but you and I both know— and I heard Amberly speak in Phoenix, just went, drove a distance just to hear her speak— and in her humility, in your humility, my dear friend, you said, so give me some pointers. I just felt like Ken Griffey Jr.'s batting coach, you know, attaboy, Kenny, attagirl. Oh, so good.

Thank you.

You're the same offstage as you are on stage. You treated everybody exactly the same, and that's your credibility. And I would hope that at the end of the day, people would say that about me, because that's what it really means to be a speaker. If you're nervous before you speak It means it's about you. And if you're excited before you speak, it means it's about the audience. It's seek to bless, not impress. And I just wanted to pay that compliment to you. That's— oh, that's what attracts all of us to you, my dear.

Thank you so much, Dan. Well, I, I just have to share that story about Phoenix. So I was flying into Phoenix and I had just written a list of things to— that I wanted to do, and top of that list was call Dan Clark. I'd been wanting to get you on the show. And that was— I had just written that down. So as soon as the plane starts to land, my phone pings and there is a text message from you. And I was like, wow, this is crazy. I just— I took a picture of myself and my list and sent it to you. I said, I literally just wrote your name down to call you and here you're messaging me. And I told you I was flying into Phoenix and you were like, oh, well, I'm in Phoenix. He said, what are you doing there? And I'm like, well, I'm doing a talk. And when you came, you're like, well, I'll come and be your bodyguard. And I was like, what? You're actually going to come to Phoenix? And I could not believe that you made that drive and there you walked in backstage. And honestly, to have— I was nervous and I told you I was nervous because you're my favorite speaker. I really—

Thank you.

Like everything you do, I'm like, I want— that's what I want to be like, you know. I want to be like Dan Clark speaking on a stage because you really move people, you really bless people. And I told you, I said, oh my goodness, I can't believe you're here. Now I'm nervous. And you're like, well, then that means it's about you. And not— and so you instantly shifted my perspective. But I was a little bit nervous because you were there. And But then afterwards I did. I mean, I pointed you out in the audience from stage. I was like, y'all, Dan Clark is here in the audience. And when you speak, you do move people, you move mountains. And you know what, reading your book, we have a lot in common because I was an athlete too, and my whole career was just shaken up after my motorcycle accident. But you know, most people have a midlife crisis in their 40s or 50s, but you You really had this life-changing kind of a midlife crisis when you were about— I think you were 22.

Yep.

Can you tell us a little bit about that instant when you had this accident and were paralyzed? Can you take us back? Because I want people to know, everybody I know that really has this powerful story They have gone through something pretty traumatic. And when I read about what you went through, I was like, oh, that's why he is so freaking amazing. So can you take us back and share that with the audience so they understand that?

Yeah, thanks. Um, you know, you held up my book, The Art of Significance: Achieving the Level Beyond Success. It's my flagship book at Penguin Random House. And it was like a 30-year book in the making. And as I finished my book tour, I realized the most frequently asked question was, what's the difference between success and significance? And the definition of that actually begins the answer to this simple question. I was in a conversation with one of my football teammates. He was drafted into the National Football League in the 2nd round by the Philadelphia Eagles. And after 2 years with the Eagles, he's traded to my Oakland Raiders. And after 4 years in the league playing at that highest Pro Bowl status, one day he walks out of practice, quits, never to play again. Why? He loved being a football player, but he hated playing football. He got what he thought he wanted, but he hated what he got. And I only use that as a precursor to my story, my personal experience with resiliency, because I played football for 13 years and I thought that's who I was. And when that career came to a screeching halt in one day, I lost my identity. I lost my focus. I lost my purpose. And when we identify ourselves in terms of what we do instead of who we are, we become a human doing instead of a human being, unacceptable if significance is what we seek. So it, it, Took a static—

it took a catastrophic—

Thank you. How I've survived all these years on the road without you, I have no idea.

I got you always. I got you.

Yeah, I'm really happy to be here. Thanks for filling in. I think, as you said, we, we need a catastrophic event to shake, rattle, and roll. They say the dog will not move off the nail it's sitting on until the nail starts to hurt enough. Good is the enemy of great. We have all these clichés pinballing around in our heads, but until we have to face the music— and you said midlife crisis. A midlife crisis usually happens for men. I don't know what the age group is for women, but men usually have that midlife crisis at about 50 years old, 50 to 55. And my definition of a midlife crisis is where the man you are comes face to face with the man you could have been. where we realize that I had so much more to give. I have so much potential and I just scratched the surface because I got waylaid, hung around with the wrong influences, whatever the case may be. And so, when I'm riding the wave, projected as the number 1 draft pick by the Oakland Raiders and I had my letter from Al Davis, invitation trial by the Kansas City Royals as a baseball pitcher, right side was paralyzed. And here's my story in a very consolidated way to kind of take us to the next level of what I've learned about the difference between So, in a nutshell, I played football for 13 years. One day at practice, the dream ended. We had a tackling drill. Coach blew the whistle. 2 of us ran into each other full speed. The only parts of our bodies that made contact, Lyle's helmet crashed into my helmet in a violent head-on collision. My right shoulder was smashed into the cutting edge of my fiberglass pads, and we slammed to the ground.

Wow.

And when Lyle got off of me, my eye drooped. I had loss of speech. I couldn't talk anymore. My right side was paralyzed. My arm dangled helplessly on my side.

Oh my goodness.

Coach comes running over. Clark, Clark, you all right? What happened? Rocka shoka shoka, Chef Robert. He says, well, are you from Flower Mound, Texas? I'm just kidding you. I'm just yanking your chain. He said, you better just lay there. I said, whoa. A doctor that was present on the field, he came over and he examined me. He pulls the coach aside. He says, Clark's got serious nerve damage. In fact, you might even have serious brain damage. Coach looks at him and says, how will we ever know? Nice guy. Finally, I went back to normal. My speech came back. I could talk again.

How long did that take?

I'm sorry?

How long did it take for your speech to come back?

Um, momentarily. I just had my gray matter rattled so hard. My optic nerve was never damaged. All these theories, because my speech came back, I came back to normal, you know, within Minutes.

Oh, wow.

I couldn't describe. But when it came back, I was completely numb. My neck— I just laid there. My arm dangled at my side. I talked to it and it wouldn't move. Talk about a shocker. I mean, I can't even imagine what it was like when you kind of came to and realized what had happened to your motorcycle accident, because it's that shock of reality, of the new reality.

Yeah, it's very shocking. Yeah.

So I stayed paralyzed for 14 months, went to 16 of the best doctors in North America. 15 of whom told me I would never get any better. And how many of us have heard that? And what happens if you believe it? You never get any better. And my life hit what I thought was a fast-moving downward spiral until I hit what I thought was rock bottom, which I wanted to define in a moment if I can.

Mm-hmm.

And now that I've recovered, the 2 most frequently asked questions are these— excuse me— Why did I keep going from doctor to doctor? Why did I go to so many doctors? I kept going from doctor to doctor until I found one who believed I would get better. The significance of belief.

Dan, that made me cry the first time that you shared that on stage. And I heard you share that. I was crying because when you are desperate to get better, you want to get better. And just to have somebody believe in you and believe that you can get better, It just gives you so much hope and courage to keep moving forward. So that really hit home for me when you shared that.

Especially when it's an expert like you or an expert like a physician. We trust their encouragement. It's not just a rah-rah deal. And I'm sure when you were faced with the conversations, you overhearing conversations, we're going to amputate your leg, we're going to amputate your leg, maybe even some cavalier physician said, ah, she won't need her leg. You know, I've had those experiences almost, and maybe that's why, why we relate so deeply and, and we connected chemistry and the whole deal so, so quickly, because it really is about finding our tribe, finding people who believe what we believe.

Mm-hmm.

And the second most frequently asked question that really kind of elevates our conversation is, Clark, what took you so long to change? What took you so long to get better? So every single time anyone tunes into True Grit and Grace, my curiosity would be, okay, what did they do when they clicked off your podcast? What did they do when they left your seminar? What did they do when they leave our speeches? Do they really take action or was it just entertainment? And at some point we've got to encourage each other to take action right now.

Mm-hmm.

And so the answer is the reason why I stayed paralyzed for 14 months was because I was asking the wrong questions. And most of us do. I was asking the doctors how to get better when I should have been asking myself why. And once we answer why, figuring out the how-to becomes clear and simple. Doesn't become easy. We still have to put in the hard work. Your multiple surgeries, my, my, my another 6 months of just working so hard to overcome the pain and fight through the res— to, to persevere through resiliency. We all know that.

Mm-hmm.

But in the process, adversity introduced us to ourselves. No one will ever know how strong we are until being strong is our only choice. And now that I've recovered, I can publicly announce, as you do, that my paralysis, my football injury, is clearly one of the best things that ever happened to me. Don't misunderstand me, my accident wasn't one of the best things that happened, but who I became as a man And what I learned about time and about, about resiliency and about priority and about never say never as a result of going through this setback clearly makes it one of the best things that has ever happened to me. And in a philosophical, spiritual way, had you never been in a motorcycle crash and had I not been paralyzed playing football, you and I would've never met.

Mm-hmm.

You and I would've never shared a stage doing our best to uplift humanity and having everyone leave us saying, I like me best when I'm with you. I wanna see you again. So we've got to look at our, our trials and tribulations, just like we looked at ourselves going into the gym as athletes on purpose. We're creating discomfort. We're putting more weight on the bar today than we did yesterday. We're spending one more minute on the Precor. one more minute on the elliptical than we did yesterday. And then for some reason, we leave that pushing ourselves to our ultimate capacity potential as a human being mindset in the gym and walk outside and truly want it to be 90 degrees with a mountain breeze blowing our hair through our, you know, over our shoulder with Princess parking at every mall and a store, a sale at every store. And that's not what it's all about. We have to do something on a daily basis.

Mm-hmm.

To make sure we're pushing ourselves Because if we're not failing a few times, I don't think we're pushing ourselves hard enough.

Yeah. Do you think that being an athlete really helped you as far as your mindset to get through that injury and recover?

Yeah, because the mindset of at least a football, basketball, baseball player, once the game starts, the coach is on the sideline. So somebody on the field of play, somebody on the court has to make a play. And, and I played for 13 years, but I coached high school football for 6 and a half years. We won the state championship one time, 5A. And I used to teach my, my defensive ends and my linebackers that if it's 4th and 1 and you hope that they run away from you, you didn't work hard enough. You're not prepared. You got to show up at the line of scrimmage in a bad mood and say, I dare you to come here. I've worked way too hard. There's no way in a million years you're going to run 95 yards through my 3.5 feet of real estate to score the winning touchdown. Bring it on, because it's an individual commitment to excellence.

Hmm.

It was an athlete. Yeah, we're part of a team, but teams lose. You know, there's no I in team. Well, there's no I in sucks either. There's no I in last place. There's no I in loser. But if you want to play that game, there's 2 I's in winning. And the first I represents independent individual preparation. Please don't let me be the weak link. Don't let me be the wuss.

Hmm.

I've worked too hard as an individual. I know how to get back up and go again. I'm a self-starter. And if you're not, I don't want you on my team because you're the weak link. Eventually, the opposing team's going to exploit your weakness and we're going to all lose what we focused on winning. And the second I in winning represents interdependent Collaboration. So yes, it is about team. They don't give Super Bowl rings out one at a time, but the teams that win have the greatest number of individual I players on them. So to your point, it— the athletic mindset, the mentality of, I better— if it is to be, it is up to me. I better focus up, focus in, and make sure I'm putting my best foot forward. Otherwise, I might eventually let down my team. So there's that dichotomy between individual excellence and team performance. So yes, definitely an athletic mindset matters. But because you have so many viewers, so many listeners, so many subscribers who aren't necessarily athletes, let's just put in the mindset of a first responder. You know, your husband is an amazing peace officer, you know, Hawaii patrolman. They have the mental mindset, the heart set to run into a burning building while everybody else is running out. I've spent so much time downrange. I've been to Iraq, Afghanistan, downrange firing up our troops 8 times.

Wow.

And after hours after the show and the bells and whistles are off, hanging around a bonfire with the Navy SEALs and the Special Forces and the, the, the air combat controllers from the Air Force and hearing their stories that I call— that they, they call ordinary miracles. I just sit there and wonder, could I do what they do? Run towards the sound of the guns? And yes, we all can if we uplevel our mindset, if we understand True Grit and Grace is more than a podcast.

Hmm.

It's a philosophical way of life based on a higher belief, a higher commitment to a credo. For example, Navy SEALs, my words, but what I learned from Marcus Luttrell and Robert O'Neill, who killed Osama bin Laden. I've hung out with these guys so many times, been on the program with them. Under pressure, you don't rise to the occasion, you fall to the level of your training. It's not enough to say, I will do my best. We must succeed in doing that which is necessary. What would happen to your life, your personal performance, if you just suddenly believed that and then allowed your behavior and actions to follow your belief, which they do? Under pressure, you don't rise to the occasion, which means pressure is not something that's naturally there. It's created when you question your own ability. And when you know what you've been trained to do, there's never any pressure. That's why we train and practice so hard.

Mm-hmm.

We fall to the level of our training. So we have to tune into True Grit and Grace. We have to tune in, read Amberly's book, do whatever we can do on a daily basis to uplevel our mindset, because everything begins with our belief. You know that. Together, reminding your subscribers, reminding your tribe that anyone can be resilient. Anyone can get back up and go again. No one ever has to be the victim mentality ever again. No. Well, me, but you don't understand. No matter what your past has been, you have a spotless future. You can't always control what happens, but you can always control what happens next. May I share one of my tear-jerking stories?

Yes, I would love that. And I, I think that's a big change when you in your mind decide that you're not going to be a victim, that no matter what has happened, you choose and you decide to be the victor of your life. And you have definitely done that. And you are the best storyteller. So I could sit— I could only imagine sitting around a campfire with you, listening to you tell your story. So yes, please do share one of your stories.

When I was in your audience in Phoenix, you are a great storyteller. You were so eloquent in your ability to help people answer the 3 questions that I talk about in my public speaking bootcamps and in my classes. Every person in every audience, 1-on-1, 1-on-10 in a boardroom, 1-on-20,000 in an arena, we crave the answers to 3 things. I call it my speaker's triangle.

Yeah.

Number 1, why should I listen to you? Have you done it? Are you currently doing it? It's the credibility piece. Number 2, can I do it too with my past, with my weaknesses, with my limitations, with my strengths? It's the possibility piece. And then because it's an inverted triangle, visually you can see it's a funnel. If you answer question number 1, why should I listen to you, credibility, question number 2, can I do it too, possibility, then you're going to be on the edge of your seat to answer the 3rd question. How do I do it? How do I get from where I am to where I want to be? And is it worth it to me? It's the actionable system. It's the usability, credibility, possibility, usability. So the reason why we still tell stories is for social proof, because our outside introduction builds our credibility, gets the audience to say, okay, I can't wait to hear what this woman, Amberly, what's her last name? Lago. She, I hope, you know, I can't wait. And you gave that brief introduction for me before we, we, we started, you know, interacting. So the credibility booster is critically important. Why should I listen to you? But the way we answer, can I do it too, is always through a story.

Hmm.

Because when we tune into the, to the, the news source, we never remember facts and figures. We only remember the interpretation of the facts and figures. How does this relate to me?

Mm-hmm.

So when we listen to podcasts, when we read books, when we go to courses or seminars, we have to be reminded that knowledge is power, but knowledge has no heart. In a sales presentation, you never close past the sale. Think about that one for a moment. We don't learn to know, we learn to do. All the information in the world isn't going to make a person successful. It's like the guy who has 3 PhDs, one in philosophy, one in psychology, one in sociology. He doesn't have a job, but at least he can explain why. What's my point? Reason leads to conclusions, but it is emotion that leads to action.

Mm-hmm.

Reason leads to conclusions, but it is emotion that leads to action. So let me just remind us about the sanctity of time that relates to all ages, all generations, all races, all genders, every one of us. And then just share a short tear-jerking experience that will give you the social proof required to believe that this podcast can change your life, that one moment in time can really change your life forever. My quote, time. Today you've never been this old before, and today you'll never be this young again. So right now matters, and every right now matters. Which means, as I said before, no matter what your past has been, You have a spotless future, which means you can't always control what happens, but you can always control what happens next. Am I begging you to answer that? So do you really believe that right now can change your life, that this True Grit and Grace podcast can change your life forever? I know it can. Amberly, if you and I added up the actual number of minutes that we've spent together, belly to belly, you listening to me, me listening to you, It's such a short amount of time, but that— those moments transformed our lives, galvanized us as dear, dear friends for the rest of forever because we believe the same. We want the same for humanity. We're trying to serve others with that commitment, using my lyric from one of my songs, to make sure everybody leaves us saying, I like me best when I'm with you. I want to see you again. So here's the social proof. One moment in time will change your life forever. I'm on the program with Henry Winkler, Fonzie from Happy Days. Clearly one of the funniest guys I've ever met. Obviously, many of your subscribers, many of your followers or viewers are so young, you don't even know who Henry Winkler is. That's a tragedy. You need to—

I know who he is.

You need to Google him. He started in a 1970s television sitcom called Happy Days. And his character was the Fonzie. He was the coolest guy who ever lived. Hey, whoa. Henry Winkler and I, we finished our speeches. He decides he wants to take some time off, treat himself to a matinee movie. So we slide in through the side exit door of the theater. And as we shuffle ourselves through the aisle, we find ourselves vacant seats. As we turn to sit down in the chairs and look up at the movie screen, the little girl sitting right behind us smiles this giant smile. She points her finger and she slowly says, Fonzie. Henry Winkler immediately snaps into the Fonzie character from Happy Days. Hey, whoa! And the lady sitting next to the little girl passes out. Henry Winkler milks the moment. Oh, I thought this only happened on TV drama. Hey, how cool is this? Theater manager comes out, takes care of the woman's needs. She's lying in the aisle. Cold pack on her forehead. She's asked one question, why did you pass out? She said, my little girl is autistic, and that is the very first word she has ever spoken in her entire life.

Oh my goodness, you are kidding me.

You have to believe, in our situations— motorcycle crash, football paralysis— one moment in time changed our lives In a drastic, catastrophic, negative way. But then we turned it around and realized you never lose if you always learn. What can I learn from this to make me a better human being, a better human becoming? And look where it's brought us, and look where it will bring everyone when we realize that we can control our destiny. We can do what we need to do. The law of attraction isn't about attracting who we want. It's about attracting who we are. We know that. It's about attracting what we deserve, what we believe we deserve in our lives. And that's why you and I are sitting across from, you know, you're in Texas, I'm in our house in Phoenix. And, you know, with the threat that I'm going to buy your husband a one-way ticket to Jamaica so we can spend more personal time together.

I hope he hears that. Oh my goodness. I hope he hears that. Here's that. I have to tell you, Dan, so after I first met you, um, I came home from San Diego when we were in Secret— at Secret Knock together, and I was just going on and on to my husband about you. I was like, you've got to check out Dan Clark. And he is, you know, he's like, oh gosh, yeah, yeah, yeah, this guy, oh yeah, whatever. And I'm like, no, You need to look at his website right now. And he's— he pulled you up and he was like certain. He looked at your website and he's like, oh wow, yeah, he's the real deal. That credibility piece, like, oh yeah, he's been, you know, he's flown up in space, he's— wow, he hangs out with Navy SEALs, he's the real deal. So yes, my husband knows all about you, he's heard all about you. But how was that? You went Up in a spacecraft? Like, tell us that story. What was that about?

You know, I just had an article come out in Entrepreneur Magazine, and Cheryl Snap Conner, the journalist, she did such a magnificent job because in my experience, I didn't go as high as Jeff Bezos and as high as Sir Richard Branson, obviously. But their excursion, their adventure to space Lasted a total of 11 minutes from launch to landing, and they only saw the curvature of the Earth for 1 minute. They were launched as a rock, not a rocket, kind of like a rock that would eventually come down, pop the chutes, and— but on October 23rd, 2010, and you can go to my, uh, my YouTube channel, Dan Clark Speak, you can watch the 15-minute documentary. I had to dumb it down because it's a classified mission, but you can actually see what happened in this article in Entrepreneur Magazine, I was able to share the lessons of life that I learned that tie into true grit and grace. So Beale Air Force Base outside of Sacramento, California is a base for what is called a U-2 reconnaissance aircraft. And because it's a classified mission, I can only tell you that it's 70,000 feet above the earth's surface. You see 2/3 of the state of California.

Wow.

At 80,000 feet, you see mapped outlines of America. And at 90,000 feet, you actually tear up and feel like you can reach out and touch the face of God. It was the most extraordinary spiritual experience I've ever had that I wish all of your listeners, your subscribers, anyone in the world could have had. Because for 5 hours, Amberly, I sat in the sounds of silence.

For 5 hours?

Witnessing the breathtaking curvature of the Earth. gazing into the endless blackness of space, the universe, pondering eternity, my place in it. And because I know you're a very spiritual being, I just need to share with your, your tribe that in that environment, my twisted sense of humor first kicked in. Wow, if we're the only ones here, there sure is a lot of wasted space. But then in humility and in awe of the universe, I asked a very poignant question. Are we more than mere mortal beings living on a small planet for a short season? What's it really all about?

Hmm.

What's our true purpose? Are you just making a living or are you designing a life? What is it all about? And in that transformational experience, I came to grips with my mortality, with time. I related to my football injury. Everything seemed to flash through my mind, through my heart, connecting my head and my heart, all those things that, that really mattered. But it reminded me of the true lesson I learned from recovery, from resiliency that ties into my football injury that both you and I understand. Getting better and being resilient in any situation, my friends, is not just a rah-rah, you can if you think you can experience. It's biological. It's physiological. Because what we now know is that when you only identify a how and a what, you only engage the brain. You only engage the mind.

Hmm.

But when you clearly identify your why, and your why is your why, and your why is bigger than your why not. When you clearly identify your own why and you add to that a compelling want, which is a meaningful goal, it triggers not just your mind, but also your heart. And when you combine triggering your mind, your brain with your heart, biologically proven, your blood pumps more rapidly, your brain fires, and your muscles engage. And when you only identify a how and a what, no such emotional experience will ever occur. So I asked my commander and I said, so teach me something. You've been up here many times. He said, right now, Dan, you and I are the highest human beings in the universe.

Wow.

Other than the astronauts and the cosmonauts living on the space station. And I got teary-eyed. I'm like, oh my gosh, with that perspective. So when we landed, Amberly, this is what I learned. When we landed in that Retrospective, introspective mindset. I'm telling you, it blew my mind. When we landed, I realized that when we die, everything, everything I had aboard with me on that aircraft is the only thing we can take.

Mm-hmm.

That when we die, the only thing we can take with us, I already had with me on that aircraft. Not my money, not my cars, not my houses. 4 things. Number 1, education. We already talked about that. We don't learn to know, we learn to do. What are you going to do after you click off this podcast? Number 2, our character. How are you going to get back up and go again? Resiliency. I already talked about that. I came back from my injury. So did you. Number 3, our conviction. How deeply do you believe? Is your current belief deep enough, strong enough, and true enough to empower you to respond, not react, respond to rapid change? Those who have had a hard time coming out of this pandemic, this, this COVID crisis, Mm-hmm. do so because they call it a crisis. Crisis does not make or break the man or woman. It just reveals the true character within. Come on, let's rename things. In business, if we call it stress, it causes anxiety. Stress is stress. But in sports, stress is competition. Bring it on, baby. I hope you're your best because I want to beat you. And leadership stresses urgency. It's not, oh my gosh, it's a deadline. Come on, let's rally the troops, all hands on deck. We can do this. It's that second wind. It's that we can get back up and go again and be more than we thought we could be.

Yeah. You know what? I've had—

The last thing we can take with us when we die is our memory. I don't believe we lose our memory when we pass to the other side. So, the question is, did your life matter? Did you serve others? I've never missed a speech since 1982, Amberly. And I don't want everybody to think, whoa, you're trying to be such a noble soul. No. The reason why I've never missed a speech is because when I was down, I lost everything. My identity got all of my attention by being an athlete. I was lost, confused, suicidal. Bad. And I know, Amberly, for a fact that in every one of my audiences, over 6,000 audiences, 73 countries, been doing this forever, there's at least one woman and one man in every one of my audiences who was hurting as badly as I was.

Mm-hmm.

And if I can show up, sometimes I've had my flights canceled. I've had to rent a car, drove 7.5 hours one way through the Badlands of Nebraska to get to Rapid City, South Dakota, to make a speech. I'm the last speaker of a 3-day conference. When I show up, This man is sobbing. He hugs me. This woman is sobbing. She hugs me. I was the only speaker in 3 days that showed up because it was weather. Never forgotten that all those years ago.

Wow.

If I can say something, if you and I can say something to save a marriage, to save a life, to give someone that, that little push that they can trust us because we have gone through it, isn't that worth it? Isn't that why you even have your podcast?

Oh my goodness.

We gotta do something to make our lives matter. And we have that choice every single day. That's why it's such an honor to hang out with you and to be on your podcast.

Oh, it's such an honor to hang out with you. And I literally, I'm taking notes over here as you're speaking. I'm taking notes. I am just so grateful for you sharing your story, how to be resilient. You definitely have some grit and you give so much grace to others every time you show up. And you speak, and you were the life of the event, of the party at Secret Knock. You like were moderating, you took over, you had everybody crying, you had everybody laughing. And so we have a lot of people— if I can just ask you a couple more questions, because I want everybody to learn how to share their message, because we all have a story, we all have a message that matters. But you really teach people how to share their message, how to become a speaker, and you do courses. I think you have one coming up in April, maybe one going on right now, but coming up in April, it's called Speak Like a Pro. Can you just walk us through a little bit of what that looks like, what the program looks like? Because I have a lot of listeners that are like, yeah, I want to be a speaker. Yeah, I have a message that matters. I want to impact someone's life in a positive way. So what does that look like in your course? Is it one-on-one? Is it prerecorded? Do they get to hang out with you? Do they get coached by you? What does it look like?

That's my passion in my older age, my way of giving back. So as I said earlier, I've taught public speaking at the university level for 11 years, which allowed me to crystallize and consolidate what I've learned in all these experiences. And put it into a syllabus, put it into a curriculum. So that's definitely part of it. But because I'm a storyteller, let's just pause for a moment and remind ourselves of some of the negative slaps in the faces that all of us as presenters have experienced in our life. Have you ever given a speech and you felt like you didn't rise to the occasion? Have you ever been on a podcast or tried to communicate, make love through a little camera on your computer? And you bomb. Have you ever done it?

Oh, Dan, I did, I did a webinar and trying to share the slides and technology, it was so hard. Oh my goodness, if anything could have gone wrong, it went wrong. I got off of it. I was speaking to a company in the UK and I got off of that presentation and just I cried, and then I got it together. I pulled it together and I reached out to them and I said, hey, thank you for your patience with the technology. I'd really like to make this up to you. Can I do a prerecord, like a recorded version so you can send it out to all your employees? Because I know we had some technical difficulties. And so I did. I did it over. They let me do it over. But oh my goodness, my husband was like, I've never seen you like this. I was like, I bombed that so bad. Like, the video didn't work, the slides didn't work. It's like, oh my goodness. So is that one thing you do also, is teach people how to do that?

And I'm old school. So what happens if— let's just be honest with ourselves, most people who use slides are unprepared because they put the slide up so they can narrate the slide. Number 2, my audiovisual has never gone south before because I don't use it.

Okay, good. So wait, now, do you not use— I don't like using slides. I can't stand using slides.

Because everybody looks at the slide instead of you. And that's—

yeah.

And that means you're, you're, you're relegated to following your memorized script. You can become wordbound. And it's just like as if you and I went to dinner, Amberly, And I pulled out 3x5 cards and I said, how are you, uh, Julie? No, Amberly, I'm so excited to be here. And then you whip out your 3x5 cards and say, oh, Dan, yes, it's so wonderful to be here. I refuse to be relegated to a memorized script.

So thank you.

It's a lot different.

Thank you for that.

So a golfer goes out on a golf course with 14 clubs in his or her bag. Which means no matter where the ball sits in the middle of the fairway, in the bushes, in the sand, you can select the right club to hit that golf ball wherever you need it to go. So my whole style is to first and foremost milk from you in my boot camps, in my masterclasses, your stories. And then we edit so every word pays its own way. And then we go and we make every story funny, evocative, and emotional by adding a quote and making it emotional. And you practice and rehearse that story so it becomes conversational. Then we move on to the next one, the next one, and the next one, which gives you the option when you're on a pre-conference call with the event planner, you ask 4 questions. This is all in the course. What's your theme? How did you come up with it? What does it mean to you? What's the purpose of your meeting? Continuous education units, networking? Is it a trip that they won in an incentive sales contest? Attendees, who are they? What do they do when they wake up? Are they selling? Are they managing?

Blah, blah, blah.

And then number 4, the message. What are you looking for me? How can I echo what, what your theme, what your message is? So you leave and everybody thinks Amberly Lago is amazing because Dan Clark came in from outside the organization and said exactly what you've been saying, in my own little way. In order for you to rise to that occasion, you have to be adaptable and flexible, which means You have that meeting planner help you write your story based on your own past experiences that you've already figured out, you've already identified, you've already rehearsed. So let me just give you this quick example. Remember, reason leads to conclusions, but it is emotion that leads to action. So I'm hired to go into Chattanooga, Tennessee to be the keynote speaker at the luncheon, the fundraising luncheon for the Boy Scouts of America, the Cherokee District of the Boy Scouts of America. And I talked to the chief scout, the CEO, and we're talking. I asked him those 4 questions. And he, about 5 times during our telephone conversation, says, Dan, you've got to end on time. You have to end. Got to be a professional speaker, end right on time. He said, last year's speaker went over. Our police chief has stood up to ask for the money. He didn't have enough time. And we fell short $40,000 less last year in our fundraising luncheon than we've ever done. We can't afford to have that happen again. You got to end on time. I said, okay. Speech comes up. I fly in, stay at the Marriott across from the convention center. He says, can I meet you for breakfast? Yeah. Comes over. The only thing he wanted to make sure is that, will you stop on time? You've got to stop on time so our police chief can make the ask. I'm like, yes, I can. I'm on a roll. We're laughing. We're thinking. We're feeling. I look at my watch and I'm like, oh no.

Oh no.

My closing story that I thought I was going to end with, which is one of my classic iconic stories about the day my dad died, I still went and spoke. I get a call. It's a great story called The Bellman, but I know it's about 7.5 to 8 minutes long and I'm looking at my watch. I'm like, no, no. So what do we do? What's the goal? What's the purpose?

Hmm.

A mission statement. What's the business that your organization is working in or working on? Vision. What are you going to do in the future? Where do you want to be? What's your strategic direction? But a purpose statement is why do you exist in the first place? What are you trying to do? Disneyland. Their entire purpose statement is we create happiness in others. It doesn't matter if you're an executive conducting a business meeting in an office or suiting up as one of the Disney characters or a groundskeeper cleaning up the grounds or running one of the rides at Disneyland or Disney World. Everybody agrees on their purpose statement to create happiness in others. What do we have to do? It's not enough to say, I'll do my best. We must succeed in doing that, which is necessary. It's that uplevel mindset. So I'm on stage going, what's my purpose here? To help them raise money. So on the fly in my mind, because I'd already figured out my stories and practiced and prepared them, I could draw from them if I needed to, just as if we're on a date. Just as if we're having an inspirational conversation in any environment. Don't you want to be authentic? Don't you want to be real? Yeah. This is how you do it. This is my uniqueness in my speaker school and what I teach in the art of storytelling, story selling. So visualize the audience. And I said, you know, I live in Salt Lake City, Utah. I'm a really good friend with the general manager of the Marriott Hotel downtown. The other day he told me this story. He said, in their lobby restaurant every Wednesday, a local businessman shows up in a coat and tie and he conducts a business meeting every Wednesday in their restaurant. And he said, on one Wednesday, he came into the lobby restaurant with a young boy and the general manager of the restaurant comes over to their booth and he says, hey, how you doing? Usually you're here on business. Who's this? And the gentleman says, this is my 10-year-old son. And the general manager of the restaurant says, what's the special occasion? And just then the little guy excuses himself and he goes to the restroom in the lobby. And dad says to the general manager of the restaurant, hey, it's not really a special occasion. My son was just diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and he's in for the battle of his life.

Hmm.

So we decided that we were going to check into the hotel this morning, have breakfast. We're going to go shopping. We're going to come back. Take a dip in the pool, then we're going to order some room service and watch a movie together. And my 10-year-old son, in his maturity, says, Dad, I know I'm going to lose my hair in my chemotherapy radiation treatment, so I'm going to shave my head in symbolism that I'm controlling my cancer, the cancer is not going to control me. So if you're a dad, what are you going to do?

Wow.

Obviously, Dad tells the general manager of the restaurant, I decided I'm going to shave my head tonight as well.

Wow.

So dad asked the general manager, I need your help. Will you please notify all of your staff so that when we show up in the morning with our shit— with our heads shaved, no one gawks and no one asks an inappropriate question like, so what happened to your hair? General manager says, you have my word. Next morning, dad and his little 10-year-old son show up to the restaurant. When they're seated at their booth, the 2 17-year-old boys who came to the booth to take their order had also shaved their heads that night as well, and they were 2 Eagle Scouts. When you participate in the Boy Scouts of America, the Scout Oath teaches young men and young women to be trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. I concluded my speech by saying, you know what, it's all about support. And to help you remember the significance of support, a mother encourages her daughter to come home as soon as school is over. The time comes, the time goes. 30 minutes later, daughter walks in through the front door of her home and her mother scolds her. Where have you been? I've been worried sick. She says, oh, Mommy, I walked my friend Sally home. She dropped her doll on the sidewalk. It broke all to pieces. It was awful. Her mother said, so you're late because you stayed to help your friend pick up the pieces of the doll and put it back together again? She said, oh no, Mommy, I didn't know how to fix the doll. I just stayed to help her cry.

Oh.

I said, ladies and gentlemen, you have a gift card in the middle of your table, a donation card. Let's support the Boy Scouts of America to give character education to young men and young women, wherever they may be. 10 days later, Amberly, I got a letter on the Chief Scout, on the Chief Executive Scout's letterhead. Dan, you helped us raise $100,000 more $60,000 more than last year because we went down $40,000. $100,000 more than we did last year.

Wow.

And it was because of those 2 stories. He said they had donation cards where they had crossed out their amount at the beginning of the, of the luncheon. Oh my goodness. And tripled it. And the president of SunTrust donated this huge amount of money. It's the significance of storytelling. It's the integrity that we take to the stage, the privilege of the platform. Seek to bless, not impress. And so when you have so many stories and you're prepared— when you're prepared, you shall not fear. The number one fear is not speaking in public. The number one fear is speaking well in public. When we understand that, we can always rise to the occasion and refuse to lose, refuse to bomb. And I never have because of that.

Oh my goodness. Yes, that story, you had me crying again. But you just have such an incredible way of of sharing stories. And you were getting people donating at Secret Knock. Everybody was like, they were going to like auction at the auction. People were battling trying to win stuff because of your storytelling. So tell us where they can take part in your Speak Like a Pro that's coming up.

Okay. So generally speaking, you can just check me out, danclark.com. That's my website. You can snoop around, go to the library, have all my books, blah, blah, blah. Go to my music page. You can hear some of my great songs. Had I shot you when I met you, I'd be out of jail by now. That's a tearjerker you all need to hear. You can follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Dan Clark Speak. I always publish a Master of the Morning, Own the Day. But I will always notify you when there's a new bootcamp masterclass coming out. It's a roll-up-your-sleeves exclusive opportunity where when you enroll and when this comes live, Amberly, you'll be able to put up the QR code as we talked about before we went live. But what you're going to get is a free download of my book, Speak Like a Pro. which is the art and science of public speaking. We make every story funny, evocative, and emotional. So you're going to get my joke book. You said, you know, it's 35 books. It's actually 37 books because I wrote—

Is it 37?

But I have a joke book. They're all time-tested hilarious jokes, very clean, but every joke has a message. So you don't tell a joke because if you tell a joke and no one laughs, you bomb. If you tell a joke with a message and no one laughs, you still teach. It's okay. So you make every story funny. I have a quote book, my own quotes, my own quips, really proud of that. And a chance to add in a quote to make your message or story come alive with credibility and evocative.

Oh, well, I want to get that quote book. I don't have that.

I'll send them all to you. And then emotionally, you got to have an opportunity to tell stories. So we talk about the art and science of storytelling, how to trigger these brain chemicals, just like I did in you sharing that story about the 2 17-year-old Eagle Scouts.

Oh, you had me crying.

Not just endorphin, I triggered a little bit of dopamine, can I do it too? But more importantly, I triggered oxytocin and serotonin, which are the relationship love drugs, the service drugs. So now everybody's more willing to write a bigger check. There's ways to trigger these emotions to help influence buying decisions, and you need to learn that. So you'll get a free download of all these books as a resource library, and then you'll get my course. Uh, usually, you know, it retails for $997. I'm gonna give it to you for $497. You can upgrade with coaching calls, so you could literally get a $5,000 retail package just for True Grit and Grace. The friends and family discount with Amberly— we'll work it out. I just want to be your speaker coach because my whole philosophy is completely different than anyone else's, and I guarantee that you have a story in you, and I can help you turn it into a TED Talk. We can convert that into a book because of this process, but more importantly You can be that most significant communicator and tear at people's heartstrings, educate them, inspire them all through the art and science of storytelling. So thanks for letting me. I can't believe I took so long to just give this surf pitch, but I want everybody to have—

Well, you know what? It's because it's that good. And I want people to know that because especially we need more female speakers as well, like sharing their story. And I love your philosophy. And you had me at, you don't like slides. That was awesome.

So let me just, let me just compliment you. You brought up something so magnificent. So one of the boards I served on was the— I was on the National Civic Leaders Board of the Chief of Staff of the Air Force. So we would meet as a Pentagon appointee. We'd meet in Washington, DC maybe every 6 weeks or so. We're at the Pentagon. They introduced this war hero. He comes out, kind of got a limp. They tell his story. He comes out, we meet him, he tells his story. He's wounded. He's still shooting the bad guys. He's administering first aid. He's calling in close air support as an air combat controller. I mean, he's got all these things going. True hero. We give him a standing ovation. Unbelievable story. Then they introduce this petite blonde who looks like you, Amberly. And she comes out and she was a nurse. And she's in a convoy and they're attacked and she's wounded and she's shooting the bad guys and she's administering life-saving first aid. And she's saving lives. And under all this chaos and commotion, true hero. We gave her a standing ovation. Cheers. Unbelievable. And in that moment, Amberly, I realized as a professional speaker, a man can be a role model to a man, but a woman can be a role model to both a man and a woman because you can get men to do things that other men can't get us to do. So to your point, I am such a fan of women in business. I am such a fan, so devoted and dedicated to helping more women get on big stages to get their messages out because the impact you have. That's why I'm the number one fan of Amberly Lago. Oh, that would be a reason for you to participate in our speaker master classes, our speaker boot camps, and, and to really get together as we embellish one another's stories and help one another take our storytelling to the next level.

Oh, Dan, count me in. Oh yeah, please count me in. I really do want to do that. From the first time I learned of it, uh, gosh, I think back in San Diego, I was like, yeah, I want to do that. But you guys also check out the— his book that I'm reading right now is The Art of Significance. I'm just gonna hold it up. Look at this book, it's beautiful. I also have it on Audible. It is such an incredible read, and I have so many pages highlighted. I mean, there's so much, Dan. I could go— I could talk to you all day just because of what is in what you do. But what is in this book about exercise perseverance instead of patience, focus on winning instead of team— we talked about that a little bit— do right instead of seeking to be the best. So this book is incredible. You guys can get the link of the book in the show notes as well. And I will have the QR code in the show link so you can take part. Come join me in his Speak Like a Pro. It's going to be so much fun to hang out with you again.

Yes, ma'am.

And thank you for all that you do, for the impact that you make. Thanks for coming to see me in Arizona. That blew me away. I went into the back. Can I just admit something really quick? So when you came in, I don't know if you know, you met Patrice Washington who was there at the event.

Yeah.

Love her. She's an amazing speaker. So actually she's going to be on the podcast too. So we went into the bathroom and I barely knew her. I just met her and I looked at her and I said, oh my gosh, Dan Clark came to hear me speak. I'm freaking out right now. I can't believe it. And she goes, do you want me to pray with you? And I said, yes, please. And she just held my hands and prayed with me. And I was like, okay, it's not about me. God's with me. God, speak through me. So I, I was freaking out a little bit. I mean, so excited and so honored. But you are just— you bless me in so many ways. Your friendship does. And I think I'm gonna see you in Dallas. Uh, soon at the Your Message Matters Mastermind, right?

Absolutely. Yes, ma'am. Okay, awesome title, Your Message Matters. It really, really does. You know, as long as we have that purpose statement already figured out before we arrive, we'll just take each other to the next level. I can't wait to see you, my friend.

Oh, I can't wait to see you again. Y'all check him out. Dan Clark is with us and blessed us And I just appreciate you. Thank you so much for being on the show. Thanks.

Love you at every level, my friend. You inspire me, and I appreciate you. You are truly a beautiful soul.

Oh, I love you.