8 Feb 2023 · 46 min
Justin Schenck, host of the Growth Now Movement podcast, talks about breaking free from a painful past—his mother's 20-year opioid addiction and his own blackout drinking—through a deliberate support system of five people and daily non-negotiables like movement and learning. He defines resilience as refusing to let circumstances dictate your identity.
Chapters
Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hello and welcome back to Welcome to True Grit and Grace. I'm Amberly, and I am so excited about the guest that I am sharing with you today. So I have— every morning I wake up and I do like a little reading, a little journaling. And this morning I read a quote and it actually reminded me of the guest because he's so amazing. It's by Joanne Reid, and it says, if I am to be remembered, I hope it is that honesty I try to demonstrate, the patience I try to live by, and the compassion I feel for others. And my friend on the show today, definitely has so much compassion, so much passion, a heart for service and for helping others. I have Justin Schenk. He's an entrepreneur. He's a sought-after speaker. In fact, I am so excited that he is going to be taking the stage at our March event. So you'll get to hear more about him and hopefully see him in person. He has got the top-rated podcast called the Growth Now Movement that I was so honored to be on. But he has had guests like Trent Shelton, Ed Mylett, Dean Graziosi, Gabby Bernstein. So I felt so honored to be on his, his show, and he's got millions of downloads. In fact, he has been named top 8 podcaster to follow by Inc. magazine, featured in Thrive Global, and chosen as an icon of influence in the new media space. His podcast has grown to become a podcast that is currently getting played in over 100 countries. Every single week, and he's gone on to help countless people grow their brands and business through podcasting. In fact, I was so grateful he actually came into my Unstoppable Mastermind, and my whole group loved him. So Justin, I am so grateful to have you on the show. I'm so grateful that you came to speak to the mastermind, and I am so grateful to have you coming to speak. at our event in March. So thank you so much for being here.
Amberly, thank you so much. I'm grateful to be here and honored to be able to sit down with you and have these types of conversations, and even more honored to be invited to speak at your event. Like, I'm real excited about that. It'll be the last thing I do before I get married. So I'm excited about that as well.
Well, can you tell your wife thank you? I mean, seriously, I know how busy it is before a wedding, and I'm like, that you said yes to speaking at the event. I was like, oh my gosh, I hope his wife doesn't kill me, or your fiancée. But I'm so excited for your wedding, and I'm really honored. And I seriously, I'm like pinching myself that I'm so blessed to have you come and speak at the event because just hearing you pour into my mastermind and speak, like, everybody was blown away by your story. So when you— people see you and they're like, oh my gosh, he is surrounded by so many incredible people. He's got this top podcast. You do your own events that people fly in from all over the world to come to your events. And so to look at you, though, you're like, oh, wow, he's just got it all. But you did not start out that way. I mean, you really overcame so much, and you started your podcast really to overcome your struggles. And so I would love if you— because this podcast is all about struggles to success, and I want people to know what is possible, like where your background is, what you came from, what you've overcome. to get to where you are. So if you don't mind, can you share a little bit about your story and why you started your podcast?
Yeah, you know, it's crazy. The original idea behind the podcast when I was like, hey, I want to start a show, ended up being something completely different when I finally started it. And to kind of go back, when I started my podcast 6 and a half years ago, I would say to people, I have a podcast, and they go, what's a podcast? And now they say I have a— I say I have a podcast and they roll their eyes and they go, oh, you have one too, right? The medium itself has grown so much. But for me, the idea was, hey, I wanted to sit down and have really cool conversations with entrepreneurs so I can find out how to be a better entrepreneur. At that point in my life, I had 3 failed businesses and I was really chasing what society told me to chase. Society told me that if I went and built something on my own, made a ton of money, got the car, got the house, got the girl, then finally I could be happy, right?
Mm-hmm.
The, the reality was at that point in my life, I wasn't happy because growing up, I grew up in kind of in a— I was really fortunate that my parents loved me, but my parents made really poor choices in their own life. My mom battled opioids for 20 years. My dad found himself in jail at one point, and I was a terrible student. So, if I look at everything I did, like, I shouldn't be where I am, right? Because they say if your parent's an addict, you have a 50% chance of being an addict. If your parent's in jail, you have a 50% chance of ending up in jail. Like, do the math. I'm 100% screwed, right? Like, that just doesn't add up. And so, the reality was I was chasing what society told me to chase because I was trying to overcome my own limiting beliefs of not being enough, not loving myself, Everybody told me that I wouldn't be successful because of how I was raised. And so I was really trying to prove everybody wrong. And what ended up happening was 6 months before I launched the show, my mom lost her 20-year battle to opioids.
Wow.
And overnight it completely changed my idea of life and how to approach it and what's important, what's not important. It made me question everything that I was doing for the first 30 years of my life. And what ended up happening— I know we spoke a little bit about this before, but I ended up going on a 3-month bender where I was blackout drunk 6 nights a week after my mom passed away. And that was just me running from the pain, running from my emotions, running from all that stuff. But when I finally came out on the other end, you know, I had a great coach and mentor who kind of helped me through that. And when I finally came out on the other end and started to feel my feelings, I realized that I didn't love myself, that I had to really create, you know, such a better base in my own life. And so that's really what the podcast became. I started having those conversations of how do you love yourself in a rock bottom moment? How do you How are you happy with life, even though you still have these dreams and these goals and these desires that you're trying to reach out for? And so, the first 2 years of my podcast, every question was for me. Every question was for me to figure out, how do I find happiness in this crazy thing we call life? And so, here we are, 6+ years later, and I've been able to create a really kind of great life for myself, and I feel blessed to be able to say that.
Oh, well, so much that you shared. Really hit home for me. Number one, uh, with your mom and her opioid addiction, because there is so much addiction out there. There are so many people running away from pain, trying to stuff down their feelings, whether it's through drugs, alcohol, porn, overshopping, speed dating, whatever that is. So I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I remember coming out of one of my 34 surgeries and they had done a block on my leg. And where they put this wire in the side of my leg to, and I had a bag of like some kind of Novocaine stuff that would numb my leg and it didn't work. And so the nerve disease that I had was just full force kicking in. And I remember calling the emergency number that they give, give you after surgery and crying and begging and pleading with the guy, like, what do I do? I was getting so anxious. Like, how bad is this pain going to get? It was horrible. And he goes, well, you need to take your opioids. Just don't overdose. And I was like, that's the advice that you're giving me? Just don't overdose. And that was so scary. And they actually sent me home with some oxy and something that you take if you overdose, which was like, oh my God, this could literally kill me. As a kid growing up with a mom who's on opioids, I'm sure she was probably kind of checked out a lot. And so That must have really affected you and in feeling your worthiness, like, well, maybe I'm just not worth being loved because she can't get sober to even love me. Am I not worth it? How did you start to build your self-worth, you know, and just feel like I am lovable, I am worthy? And so that's question one. And then I'll get to so many other questions that I have for you. How did you start to feel worthy of love?
You know, this is a really great, great question, because I didn't realize that I had what I found out later was abandonment issues. And so I was going into relationships, love relationships, and just completely self-sabotaging left and right. Because I was like, well, they're gonna leave me. But the reality is that, you know, when I look at my life, nobody actually left me. My mom was a great mom, my dad was a great dad. But they made poor choices, which led to why wasn't I enough? And that was like, kind of like the back of my head, That was the narrative, but I didn't realize that's what I was saying to myself. Does that make sense?
Yeah.
And so I ended up going to a therapist, and that's where it all started for me, finally admitting, hey, maybe I have to have a conversation. Maybe I have to, you know, something is clearly not right in my life. I need to talk about it. And so I found a great therapist who is actually to this day a great friend of mine. We ended up becoming friends after the, you know, 6-month contract was up or whatever they have to sign. But You know, when I look at that, I realize that asking for help and surrounding yourself with the right people is really the key to anything you want in life. Um, and so for me, it's, it's, it was a journey and at times still is a journey. I think when we have these things that are programmed in us at a young age, we constantly have to work on them, right? We constantly have to, you know, defeat those, those voices in our head or defeat what we think is happening around us. And limiting beliefs are something that will probably stick with us forever. But as long as we have a formula or something that we do to help us break through that, then we can overcome anything, right? So, I have this limiting belief of not being enough, or I have this limiting belief of not being lovable or whatever the case may be. I really work through a process to help me overcome them, whether that— and those voices are much more dim now than they ever were, and they don't come up as much as they were before. But certainly, at times, they still pop up. And so, I work through a process, and it's a 3-step process for me. And the first step is I get uncomfortable. So I do something to challenge those thoughts that are happening in my head, right? And I'll give an example of something easy. Say somebody wants to be a public speaker, but they go, but I'm a terrible public speaker. Well, in order to become a public speaker, you have to get uncomfortable and get on a stage and talk to people, right? So that's kind of the disrupting your energy because that's what we really are. We're all energy. Like, we're— that's how we're flowing. We're connected to everything. So we have to disrupt that, get uncomfortable. The second part is surround yourself with the right people. I'm really, really picky with the people that I spend time with. I'm really, really picky with the people that I spend my energy and my emotions with because those are the individuals that are going to support me through those growing pains, those limiting beliefs. And so we need to make sure we're surrounded by those people. And then number 3, take action, right? If I have these terrible limiting beliefs of I'm not enough, if I don't take action, if I don't move my body, if I don't do the things I have to do, then I'm just going to sit in that pain and sit in that shit, and then I'm going to become more of that person, whether it's more depressed or more whatever. So, I have to take action. And those 3 steps I've been able to formulate into any of my limiting beliefs that I've had in my life and really been able to overcome them and really kind of create success in different pockets of my life.
Oh, that's so good. I mean, I love that 3-step process and getting uncomfortable. Like, people don't want to feel uncomfortable, and I'm like, but that's what you have to do. Even as something as like, I've had people in my mastermind go, oh, but I don't know how to do reels and what kind of video. I'm like, I didn't either. And sometimes I still screw up, but we only get better and start to achieve things that we want to do, our goals, our dreams, success, if we're willing to get uncomfortable. And I love so much, Justin, that you are speaking about asking for help, going to therapy, connection, and also that it's not like it's the limiting beliefs will always be there. It's not like you made it through, then you're all good, and everything is smooth sailing. It's like you're talking about, this is a process that you will probably have to work on for the rest of your life. And I think, you know, sometimes it's like, oh, we, you know, we're all human. And we feel like something's wrong with us if these limiting beliefs come up, because we've gone to therapy, or we've done the work. But for you to say that, that, that's part of it. And we'll probably have to work on that. It's like, oh yeah, we're all human. And you know, I am grateful I have a good therapist. And I really think that connection is the opposite of addiction. And if I didn't have connection with amazing people, there's no way I would be where I am. It helps me stay sober. It helps me with my entrepreneurial journey because that's not always easy. So that I love to talk about how you have built those connections because I think that is one of your— you have a lot of superpowers, but I think that's one of your superpowers is you really have an incredible way of connecting with people. And that has built this incredible podcast. It's built your business. It's why people love you and they show up to speak at your event or they go to attend your events that you have. And so I would love, you know, I remember talking to somebody and they were like, Well, you're really lucky you have a community. And I was like, well, your hard work puts you where your blessings can find you. It's like, I believe you have to add value to people in order to start building those connections. But what would you say to somebody who's like, well, I don't have a community, I don't know how to connect? How does somebody learn to connect on a deeper level?
It starts with asking, right? We just talked about getting uncomfortable. You have to get uncomfortable. Like I started connecting with amazing people on my podcast long before my podcast had any success. So people look at me now and they go, oh, of course, Justin Inc. Magazine, millions of downloads, you can get in touch with anybody you want to, right? But I was doing like 30 downloads an episode and getting these people that I wanted to connect with because I realized that little bit of discomfort of reaching out and asking was so much easier to overcome than the lifelong pain of not having those right people in my life, right? I told you the first 2 years of my podcast were for me. So I needed to ask the people the questions that I needed to ask. And so it was really about reaching out to them and saying, hey, you know, putting my heart out on the plate and saying, this is who I am. And I think the power to true human connections, vulnerability and opening up and being who you are. And so I wasn't trying to be anybody else other than Justin Shank from Reading, Pennsylvania, trying to figure it out. Right. And so I just put myself out there the best I could. And what I realized is when you do that, when you're vulnerable, when you share openly, the people that you're connecting with, they become vulnerable and they share openly and they want to pour into you. And they see that not only are, hey, maybe I can help you, but also, hey, you could help me. And so one thing that I've really done almost organically, and I didn't realize this until people started asking me, like, how are you growing these relationships? I give unconditionally. I don't expect anything in return from anybody. I think it's the way that I was raised. Like, it's funny, we talk about my mom's demons, but my mom loved unconditionally everybody but herself, but she loved unconditionally and she gave unconditionally. And so, I just did it organically and I realized that giving was my superpower. So, let me give whatever I can. It might just be an ear to listen, right? And actually, a great story of a mutual friend of ours, Ed Mylett, he was really the guy who kind of opened my eyes to this being a superpower. So, him and I ended up connecting. He had some internet issues, so he couldn't get on for the interview. And he emailed me and said, here's my phone number, call me. Now, I'm nervous. Like, I looked up to Ed, like I still do. He's an amazing human being. I'm like, oh, now I got to call this guy on the spot, right? When you're preparing for an interview, you're like, okay, I'm locked in. I got my questions. You know, that helps the nerves, right?
I was like, I got 3 pages of questions for you.
It helps the nerves when you're having these conversations. And so, I text or I called him and we're chatting, blah, blah, blah. And we get to the end of the conversation and I go, let me know if there's anything I can do to support you. And it was just a passive comment and it was dead silence on the other end. And I was like, did he hang up? Like, that's really weird. And he goes, hey, sorry, nobody ever asks me that.
Wow.
So here it is, a guy in a position who he's created massive financial success in his life. He has connections to pretty much anybody in the world at this point. And I realized that, well, after he said that, I was like, oh, it kind of makes sense. Most people say, hey, can you help me with this?
Yes. And Justin, that is exactly right. When you reach a level of his success, you've got everybody pulling at you. I just got a DM yesterday that stopped me in my tracks, that somebody was actually asking, I'm here for you, anything you need. I see how hard you're working. Let me know what I can do to help. And I'm like, What? What? You mean you don't want something from me? Like, you want to help me? So I'm sure that really touched him.
It did. And then he had mentioned some of his friends. He's like, we're kind of just there for each other because most people don't say, how can I help you? And he's like, honestly, since I never get asked that question, I don't know. And I came up with a couple of things that might have worked out for him. I made a couple connections for him because I've been able to build a network. And from there, he's somebody when I text him, I get a text back almost immediately. And it's become a really cool thing where I can go, hey, Ed's a friend of mine. Ed's somebody who I've never asked him for a thing. I never will ask him for a thing, but he's somebody that I consider a friend. But I saw the power in giving unconditionally. And that's really how I've been able to create the network and the friendships that I have and people that speak at my events and all these crazy things. It's really all about giving first, and the universe will take care of you on the back end.
Oh, that's so good. And you know what? That's something I grew up. Very similar. I think we grew up very similar. And when I first started speaking, I was just giving, giving, giving. I was flying all over the country speaking at every event for free. I was giving books away. I was giving my time. I was there from the earliest person there and the last person to leave and help and sweep up the floors if they needed me to. But I was just giving. And my husband, after a couple of years, was like, When, or that, like, you're doing so much and you keep giving and you're not making any money. And I'm like, but I trust that I will. I didn't start speaking for the money. I started speaking for the impact, and I'm chasing purpose, not money. And I know that that will come eventually. And you know what? It did. And so I was the same way. And I think a lot of people don't understand That that is a superpower. Just keep giving, and the universe or God or however you want to say it will take care of you. I totally believe that. And I think that's why you have so many people that are like, like after meeting you for the first time, I'm like, I would love to come and speak at your event, anything you need. And so when I was telling you about my event, you're like, I'll come speak at your event. I'm like, are you serious? Like, oh my gosh. Okay. Check with your wife. Surely, you know, make sure it's okay. But yeah. So I think that is amazing. And that's how you start to build those better relationships too and level up is just by giving and seeing what you can do to be of service and not giving up. And also for those of you listening who you're like, oh, well, I would love to have Justin on my podcast, or I would love to have Ed Mylett on my podcast. Don't give up. Like, you know what? For years now, I reached out to Jamie Kern Lima and I've shared stuff. I've bought her book. I've shared it on my Instagram. I've been there to add value. And do you know that I just got a DM from her saying, hey, I just saw your video that we were at the same event together and saw— I had forgotten that I even asked her to be on the podcast. That's how long ago it was. She went back through the DMs from so long ago and she said, I'd love to be on your podcast. Not doing any recordings for a couple of months, but I'd love to be on once I get through these couple of events that I'm doing. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so excited. And so I share that so others know, don't give up, just keep giving, keep adding value, and eventually it will all work out. And so, yeah, it was amazing. Have you had her on your podcast?
I have not. We have a couple mutual friends and connections. I have not had her on. I think I've reached out to her as well. But see, here's the thing, people get so upset if you don't hear back. The reality is they might not even see it. So you have to continue to, without being annoying, right? You know, continue to be top of mind. But I think one thing that I try and do, maybe even just organically do, is I take myself out of the equation. I even take them out of the equation and I really focus on why am I doing the podcast, right? It's for the audience, it's for the impact. And so I literally make my message about, hey, I would love it if you would take some time outta your day to help inspire my audience. And I think that's really been the magic for me to get the guests that I've had. Because once people reach a certain success in their life, however you want to define success, because everybody has a different definition, but once people reach that, they want to give as much as possible, right? They want to continue to give. And the easiest way for them to do that is a little bit of time to hop on a podcast, to share their story, share their message, share the things they're working on. And even if they have a book coming out or whatever, I don't even mention that. I don't say, hey, let me help you sell a couple books, because I purposely look for impact-driven people, right? Just like you, you're very impact-driven. you were talking about speaking for free for so long. I'm really, really big in life on ROI, return on impact. And sometimes it's a slower burn and sometimes your payback doesn't come back till later. Sometimes it's not financial, but I literally operate on ROI, return on impact. And so that's how I live my life. And I think that that comes through with how you speak and how I speak and reaching out to these people. And so I think that if your intention is good, everything else will fall into place and you'd be really surprised these people that And I hope this is the case for most people, but these people that you look up to or these people that you followed for so long, I hope that they deliver on their kindness scale, right? Like, not everybody is real on the internet, but I think that you can kind of sniff through and find the right people.
Oh, for sure. You start to feel— I feel like I can feel that sometimes through even a post. Like, you feel whether or not they're authentic.
Yeah.
You know, your gut doesn't lie. Energy, like you talked about energy. Energy doesn't lie.
Yeah, you know, true.
Yeah. Well, I want to know how you, you know, built up your confidence after, you know, losing your mom, having, you know, going from blackout drunks to getting your life together. Because I know that when I was, you know, blackout drunk and overcoming addiction, I had— my self-confidence was so low. I was so beaten down. How did you start to build your confidence? And do you still Do that?
I think there's always every, every single person, right? Like we talk about these people who speak on hundreds of stages a year and all these things. They tell you they're nervous before every single time, right? There's always that question of like, is it gonna be enough, right? I think it's a constant work in progress. But for me, it started with something that Preston Smiles ended up saying on my podcast pretty early on. And he said that at any given time, there are at least 70,000 people on this planet. It might be 80,000 now based off of the sheer number of people that need to hear your message specifically from you. And then he followed it up with by saying, how selfish of you not to show up. And so I realized in that moment, he goes, how selfish of you not to show up. Like, even if I'm nervous, even if I question, you know, my confidence or whatever, if I'm not showing up, then how selfish of me. And I want to be able to give as much as I possibly can. So I'm going to show up. So it started with that. And then what I ended up doing is we all know the quote of, you're the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, Jim Rohn, right? It's one of the most famous quotes of all time. And the reason that it's so famous is because it's true. Like, you are the average of those 5 people. And so I got really specific on those 5 people that I surrounded myself with in order to help me with my confidence, in order to help pick me up if I fall down, in order to continue to boost me forward as I continue to grow. I'll real quickly go through these 5 people and I won't say who they are, but I'll tell you the roles that they play. So the first person is the cheerleader. So this is the person that's gonna make you feel like you can run through a brick wall, right? Like that person who you call them up and go, hey, I have this business idea. I think it's a million-dollar idea. And they go, no, that's a billion-dollar idea, right? That person that will cheer you on to the ends of the earth. The second person is your bruiser. So this, this is the person who's gonna challenge your thought process. Are you doing that the right way? Are you sure that's the right choice? But they're doing it from a place of love. So an asterisk that I have on the bruiser is This is not an abuser, it's a bruiser. It's 2 different things. Third person is your softie. That's the shoulder to cry on, that person who when things aren't going right, they're an ear to listen. They're there to help you in any way, shape, or form, but they're not an enabler, right? They're gonna help pick you up. They're gonna help brush you off and say, okay, now it's time for you to move forward. The 4th person is a mentor. This is— I define mentor a little bit differently than most. To me, a mentor is somebody who has Something in them that you aspire to be like. So, my mentor is actually a guy named Fabio Viviani. If you watch reality TV, he was on Top Chef. He owns all these restaurants.
You told me about him in the mastermind, how y'all became friends.
Yeah, he's amazing. He's somebody who is my mentor. And unless he listens to this, he doesn't know he's my mentor. I don't go up to these people and say, hey, this is the role you fill. But he is somebody who gives at the highest level. Uh, he'll give you the shirt off of his back, and he doesn't have to, right? Like, he doesn't need anything from anybody because he's built such great success, but he continues to give. And so I aspire to be more and more like him and continue to want to give as much as I possibly can. And then the 5th person is a coach. I really believe that at any given time, you should be financially invested in your future, whether that's a relationship coach, a spiritual coach, a wellness coach, whatever. I've had them all. And so I always think that you should have that 5th person, a coach that you invest in. And when I got those 5 people and I made sure that they were close in my life and I stayed in touch with them and I utilized them, right? And I said, okay, cool. Like right now I'm unsure of my decision. Let me call my bruiser and see what he actually— I have a call with my bruiser at 2 o'clock today, right? Because I'm working on some things. And so to get really specific with those 5 people, every time I question my confidence, okay, cool, I'm going to call my cheerleader and that person is going to help boost me up and make me realize, hey, I do belong here. I do belong in this room. And so once I got really specific with those 5 people, that's when everything changed for me. That is when it became easier. That's when success in my business really took off. That's when my relationships got better. And so, I got really, really specific on those 5 people, and everything changed for me after that.
Oh, that is amazing. I think that success is built on relationships, and I love this idea of having a cheerleader, bruiser, softie, mentor, and coach. And as you're talking, I was thinking about, oh, I definitely have— I know who that is in my life. So that, that is amazing. So as an entrepreneur, you do so much. I know just how much goes into planning your own events. Do you ever feel burnout? Do you ever feel like, oh my gosh, I'm overwhelmed, or I'm so tired, how am I going to keep going?
So yes. Um, now my burnout comes from seasons of stress. Uh, you know, as you're like, right now I'm building a new business and it's taking a lot money and a lot of focus and learning a lot of new things. And so there's a level of stress there. But I am also a big believer that everything is in seasons. I understand that right now I'm in a season of head down, get stuff done. But then once that's done, cool, I can take a breather. I think we get so caught up in, as entrepreneurs, in the rat race. We have to constantly be grinding. We have to constantly be doing the next thing, build the next thing, get on the next phone call, whatever, right? Chase the next client. For me, I take all my personal things that I want to do do in my life, and I put them in first, and business fits around that. And so when I'm not in crazy season, which I am right now, I'm usually done work by about 2 o'clock every single day. And so for me, I get really, really specific on setting up my schedule the right way, having my non-negotiables there first.
Mm-hmm.
You know, my non-negotiables are set up to make sure that I'm taking care of myself, to make sure that I am at peace, to make sure that my relationships are strong, to make sure me and my fiancée are good. That's first. Then after that is the business stuff. Where does this fit in? What do I have to focus on? And so when I find that I focus on the things that fill my cup first, the rest of the stuff is easy. And again, knowing that seasons will end when you're in a down season, right? As entrepreneurs too, like we don't get biweekly paychecks, we get lumps of money and then sometimes it trickles away and we go, okay, whoa, what's going on next? But we understand that season will end as well. And to focus on the things that we can one step at a time. But sure, I get stressed out. Sure, at times I feel overwhelmed. But the understanding that, hey, we're going to get through this season. Hey, my relationships are good. Let me focus on the gratitude of that. That helps me get through those seasons.
Oh, thank you for saying that. That is exactly what I just told my husband about a month ago. So we moved into our new house at the same time that I was doing my first bigger in-person event. And at the same time when I was onboarding a new assistant. There was a lot going on and it was stressful. And my husband was like, this isn't fun. I'm like, no shit, it's not fun. This is hard. This is a season where I've got to have my head down. But then I love that you have your non-negotiables. And I do too. And I have lost those a little bit before. I let some of them slip away and I could feel myself spiraling down into depression, overwhelm, anxiety. And so I definitely have non-negotiables where I take care of my health and I have to to stick to that. So I'm curious to know, what are some of your non-negotiables?
Yeah. So I have 4 non-negotiables that I do every single day to make sure that my cup is full. So I want to backtrack really quick. This idea came from a question that I ask on my podcast, which is a 2-part question. First part is, what's your definition of success? Second part is, what are 3 things you do every single day to ensure that success for yourself? So you mentioned earlier all the cool people I've been able to interview. And so it's fascinating to see these answers. And I realized that there's a common denominator behind the answers between every single person I've interviewed. And those 3 things they do every single day is to take care of themselves and make sure their cup is full. And I realized the ultra successful people in life are the people that make sure that what is in their cup is for them. Whatever flows is for everybody else. Now, when you're impact driven, your goal is to make sure your cup is constantly overflowing. And so I've created 4 non-negotiables that make sure I stay in alignment to make sure my mind is healthy, all those things. So the first one is I move my body in some way, shape, shape or form, whether it's a 3-mile walk in the morning, which I do with my fiancée, or lifting weights or whatever. I move my body in some way, shape, or form. The second thing is I have a pretty deep visualization practice that I do every single day. And what that does for me is it really reinvigorates the dream. It reinvigorates the idea that, hey, it's not the worst thing to be at my desk every day. It's not the worst thing to be working, right? So it reinvigorates the big vision and the dream. Third thing is I learn something new every single day. I want to keep my brain healthy. I want to be around for a long time. time. The only way to do that is to learn something new every single day, which is funny coming from me because I was the worst student of all time. And then the 4th thing, the 4th thing is I reach out to somebody I care about every single day and I just let them know that I'm thinking about them. Now, most people hear that 4th thing and they go, Justin, that's not for you, that's for other people. Well, no, it's not. What ends up happening is I feel good that I can be there for somebody, number one, even if it's a simple text to say, hey, I hope you're well. Hey, I know you're struggling with this. You know, if there's anything you need, let me know. Whatever the case may be, that makes me feel good. And number 2, what's funny is my phone, I get at least 1 or 2 texts a day that are just as random as that. Hey, how are you doing? Just checking in because I've created this network of people that I, when I started reaching out to them, they returned the favor. So over time, it ended up building this great understanding that I look at my phone and I go, I've got a great support system. I'm good to go. And so those are my 4 non-negotiables that really help fill my cup every single day. And, you know, if you look at them, none of them have to do with making money. None of them have to do with being an entrepreneur. But what it does is it makes me a better entrepreneur. It makes me more focused. It makes me a better fiancé, soon-to-be husband to my fiancée. It makes me a better bonus dad to her kids. It makes me a better friend to my friends. And so, those are my 4 non-negotiables. I'm sure they'll evolve over time, but those are the 4 right now.
I love that. That's very similar to my non-negotiables too. And that movement Really does move your mood. And I know for me that I need movement to feel better. It's, it's even now more, it's not so much about how I want to look, it's how I want to feel. So I love that. And, you know, I have a group of ladies, again, everything you share is so much about connection and that is so important. So I love that you reach out to people. I have a group of ladies that we have a gratitude practice together and we share 10 things that we're grateful for and even use an app now to share it, to make it a little bit easier. But it's something when you can even reach out to tell somebody that you're thinking about them or you're grateful for them, it can change their day, but it also changes your day. So, I love that you do that. So, what do you think is the definition of resilience?
I think the definition of resilience, at least in my world, is to not allow your outside circumstances to dictate who you're becoming. So, to understand that things are going to fall apart around you. But you have to be able to push forward. And this goes back to my whole entire life, right? My favorite book, whenever somebody says, what book should I read, right? It's a common question in the podcast world. My answer is Who Moved My Cheese? Which, if you haven't read it, it's 30 minutes.
I have not read that. Who Moved My Cheese?
Who Moved My Cheese? It's a very, very quick read. But essentially, the story is that the world is going to change around you. That doesn't matter. What matters is how you react to that change. And that's how I have really approached life in general. I no longer tie my worth to my goals. I no longer tie my worth to my bank account. I now tie my worth to how am I making an impact and how am I showing up in the world. And so, resilience to me is the understanding that things are going to happen, but you have to continue to push forward in order to become the person you're meant to be. And that's, again, that's a constant evolution.
Oh my goodness. You just drop all these bombs of like wisdom. You're amazing, Justin. You are so brilliant. And what an honor to have you here with us and to share this wisdom and to call you a friend. So, thank you so much for being on the show. I want to ask one last question because you have these events and your podcast and everything. What does growth movement mean to you?
When I started the show, I was like, okay, hey, like, let me— I wanted to grow myself. right? I wanted to grow in business. I wanted to grow in life. I wanted to grow all those things. And then I realized that that's life. There's never an end to all of this. And so growth now means we're constantly growing every single day. And the movement came in later because I wanted to build a movement of people that feel the same way, that there's no endgame. The only endgame that we have in life is that we're gonna die, right? And so why not constantly grow in life in order to make an impact, in order to better ourselves, in order to leave a legacy in some way, shape, or form. So for me, Growth Now Movement is really about consistent growth in life no matter what, and the understanding that we're never getting somewhere. So we have to just constantly grow and be a better person today than we were yesterday and be a better person tomorrow than we are today. And that's what it's all about for me.
Oh, me too. And you know, that's— my husband has said things like, Oh my gosh, when are you going to stop? Or when are you going to slow down? Or you don't have to do all this. Or I'll get like a big check in the mail. He's like, yeah, but you're just going to invest it back into your business. Or, and I'm like, yeah, I'm going to keep learning because the more I learned, the more I can share with my mastermind group, the more value that I can give. And so, yeah. And I think that's the difference between being an entrepreneur sometimes and having, you know, he, he's retired now. Thank goodness. Cause he helps out so much with our daughter. And everything around the house. Like even this morning, trying to take my daughter to school, he had already left. And I was like, oh my gosh, honey, the garage door isn't opening. And it's a huge wooden garage door. He's like, there's a lever, you should be able to pull it, but I don't know if you're going to be able to get it open. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to get this door open because I'm getting her to school because I've got an interview with Justin. Nope, we're going. But he's so different, his mindset, you know, being a former Um, Lieutenant Commander, he just thinks sometimes the entrepreneurial world is just crazy. But now he's gotten to where he's like, I can say, honey, just trust this, what I'm doing. I know I've got this vision. Now he's like, you're doing an event in Raleigh, North Carolina? And I'm like, yes, I am. And just wait, it's going to be so fun. Um, when is your— I know because you're getting married. In April. Is it April you're getting married?
Yeah, April 1st.
April 1st?
April Fool's Day. Yeah. Do you—
no way, Justin. Okay, we are so much alike. Do you know that when my husband and I were planning getting married, I was like, why don't we get married April 1st? He goes, no, that is April Fool's. And I'm like, it's one of my favorite days. He goes, what? Then people are going to think it's a joke. And I'm like, no, it's just a really fun day. And so I cannot believe you're getting married April 1st.
Yeah, we are. And you know, it's funny, it's the day we met. So we met on April 1st. And so 4 years later, we're getting married on April 1st. And we originally wanted to get married in the fall of next year. And so we went to the venue that we wanted, and she fell in love with the venue. And she's like, we need to get married here. They didn't have any fall dates open. And so I was like, well, what about like April, May, June? And she said April 1st was the first date she threw out. And Lauren immediately started crying because it was the day we met.
Oh.
And she tried to sell it to us because she didn't notice Lauren started crying. She's like, you know, fools fall in love. Blah, blah, blah, which is, you know, that's a whole nother spin on April 1st that you could do. But I will say this, your husband did have a point. So we sent out our save the dates for our wedding, and it was kind of a hybrid with the Christmas cards. So we have a— every year we did Christmas pajama photos with me, her, and the kids. And the running joke was my pajamas did not match theirs. So the whole thing was like, when you date a girl with kids and they didn't get you the matching pajamas.
Yeah.
And we did that for 3 years in a row. And so this year we had the matching pajamas, and the save the date was the collage of the photos. And it says, she got the ring, he got the pajamas, save the date April 1st. And I did have somebody reach out to me and said, is this actually happening on April 1st? My wife thinks it's an April Fool's joke. And I was like, no, no, it's really happening.
So your husband did have a point. Yeah. Well, you know what? I think we have so much in common that I'm actually not that surprised that we're both like April 1st. But that is so cool. Because you're getting married and, and that is a lot and you want to have time with the family and everything, are you gonna have your event this year?
So my events are next year.
I mean, I can't believe it's the end of the year. Next year.
Unreal. Yeah. So my event's normally in May. Lauren said to me, if we're getting married in April, you can't do your event in May. For the last 3 months of building up, and you're learning this now, the last 3 months building up to an event, like, you're so Doing everything and it's crazy.
It's a lot.
I'm focused on other things. And so it's not happening in May. We may do something in September. So what I am doing actually, I am hosting a very small intimate event that I'm calling an immersion in Orlando in February. So the first weekend of February, I'm fortunate enough to have a partner who supports me and lets me do crazy things like speak at your event 3 weeks before I'm getting married. And actually the end of January into February, I'll be in Orlando for 10 days between Podfest and then my event. So I'll be away from them for 10 days, like 2 months before we're getting married. But I'm hosting a small event for entrepreneurs, a higher-level type of event, which I'm excited about. And I'm really loving this process of doing this type of event. So we'll see what happens. So maybe September. My— the longest answer to the easiest question of all time. The answer is maybe in September, but I will have other forms of events if the big event does not come back.
Okay. Well, where can people find out about your upcoming events?
Yeah. So growthnowevents.com is the website so they can see any upcoming events. Right now it's just on the event for February, but that'll evolve as I add more things and get more creative because I don't like to do the same thing twice. So there's always a constant evolution.
Me too.
In what I'm doing. So we'll see.
Me too. And mine keeps getting bigger. Like, it keeps— I first started my first in-person mastermind and I rented a beautiful house in Malibu right on the beach. Then I was like, oh, let me rent out a whole hotel conference room. Now I'm like, Let me rent out a huge stage for 2 days. And have you seen Stephen Scoggins' stage?
I've only— not in person. I've seen the video, and I know Stephen, obviously, and it's just through podcasting. It's beautiful. And I've actually— I'm so excited to go to your event because now I'm thinking about doing it there.
Oh, you're going to love it there. I mean—
Because he talked to me about it, and I was like, we'll see.
Oh, Justin, the reason I'm doing it there is because, well, number one, integrity is so important to me, and that's one of the reasons I really just fell in love with you is because you're a man of integrity. Stephen is too, and his space is beautiful. Even his green room, like, he has thought, uh, he goes to no end to just really pay attention to detail. There's so many different camera angles. So that's why I was like, I want to provide the most beautiful stage I can for these speakers because I really respect all the speakers. And I promise you, I am gonna make it so worthwhile. So I'm going to take y'all to the most amazing steak dinner. It's the best steakhouse in Raleigh. It's so good. That's where Stephen took us when I did his event last year and just fell in love with that stage. So yeah, I'm super excited about it and so grateful that you're coming to speak. Anyway, I just want to thank you for being on the show. Um, and then tell everybody where they can follow you, find out more about your podcast as well on Instagram and your main website.
Yeah. So obviously Instagram, it's my name @JustinTSchenk. So the T is the middle initial. Just see how to spell my last name in the show notes because that throws everybody off. And then wherever they listen to the show, they can go search Growth Now. My podcast will pop up. And if they like it, come along on the journey with me because that's really what it's all about. And so I would love it if they check out the show. But thank you so much. Like, I'm really, really grateful for you and your friendship and having this conversation. And I'm looking forward to hanging out in March at your event. I think it's going to be Oh, we're going to have fun.
We are going to have so much fun. Thank you so much. And yes, listening, you will find all the links to his podcast, to his Instagram, to his website, to where you can find one of his upcoming events or immersions. And we'll also put in the show notes the Who Moved My Cheese book and so much more so you can get details on where to find him. But definitely, Look him up, follow his— you're gonna love his podcast. And then one last question, what do I have to do to get my picture up on your wall there?
So, it's funny, I have to do the next round and move it around, but you're on the next round.
Oh, good.
I've already created it because the funny thing is I've changed my imagery since then. This used to be like what I would post on social media. And so, I'm like, do I redo the whole thing with the new look or do I just stick with this one? So, I've actually gone in and recreated a couple of past guests that I just have to get printed. But you're in there, so you're going to make the wall here soon enough.
Okay, good. I'm excited now. Well, thank you. And you guys listening, if this really touched your heart like it did mine, go ahead, take a screenshot and tag me @AmberlyLagoMotivation and tag Justin @JustinTSchenk. You'll find out how to spell his name and everything because it's not spelled like it sounds. But take a screenshot and tag us. When I see that, I share it in my story. That way we all get to learn together and grow together. Thank you again, Justin. You're amazing. I can't wait to hug your neck in March and see you in person soon. But thank you so much. And thank y'all for listening to the show. I appreciate you being here on the journey, and we'll see you next week.
More from Amberly


Building Strong Foundations for Your Child's Future with Jordyn Koveleski Gorman









