Mastering Mental Fitness In Recovery with Todd Sylvester

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hey there. Thank you so much for tuning in to True Grit and Grace. I have my amazing friend Todd Sylvester with us today. Y'all, he is a mental fitness health coach mentoring those struggling with addiction. He is a top podcaster. I had the honor of being on this podcast. I've got his book here. He is the author of I Am Recovered: A Simple Story of Overcoming Addiction, as well as an ebook called It's Time to Start Living. He is saving lives. He is a speaker. He's done over 1,200 talks. He has coached, I think it's like over 17,000 coaching sessions. He's got 32 years of sobriety. I admire him. I love this man. I love the work that he does and how he's changing lives. He's saving lives. So Todd, thank you so much for being here. Welcome to the show.

Oh, Amberly, thank you so much for having me. And it was a true honor to have you on my show. And your story too, just is so inspiring. And it's great to connect with you that way. And We're like-minded in that way as well. And just, it's an honor to be here and to be able to share my story with your listeners.

Oh, it's such an honor. And so I have to just tell y'all, he's been so patient. So I was actually supposed to be flying to Salt Lake City today, and I was excited. I was going to meet him in person. I was going to go to his studio and we were going to record this. And then my event got canceled. And so then we had another time set up that got canceled. We tried to start the show and there was no sound. And I said, okay, this show is an episode— this episode really needs to get out there in the world because we've had all these obstacles and we're like, no, we are gonna do this. And, you know, I know that there's somebody, maybe a lot of people out there struggling right now with one thing that I love that you call it the bully. You know, it's that, that inner critic, that bully that we have inside of us. And when we have any kind of addiction, that bully inside of us gets really, really loud.

Right.

But your story from being addicted to drugs, using drugs every day, to being clean and sober, and now helping other people develop the mindset, get sober, and find joy in life is just astonishing to me. Just mind-blowing how many people that you've, you've really saved their life. So I would love to know, especially because I've got daughters, one that's older, one that's only 13. And I feel like she's at about this age where kids start doing drugs. They start finding a way to find drugs, alcohol. And I have to tell you something, Todd, really quick. So my daughter has a track meet, her first track meet today. And she's like, mom, can you give me some of that drink that you drink? Because I drink like a gut health drink and I have an energy drink, but it's all natural. It's plant-based.

Yeah.

It doesn't have caffeine. But the fact that she's like, what is that like energy drink that you want? And I'm like, well, here, here's the gut health one, here's the hydrate one. But it may— there was— because I am re— you know, recovering, or I like, I like that you say recovered. Um, and I have that addiction thing in me, whether it's being a workaholic or, you know, I was addicted to alcohol. I think, oh gosh, what— she's kind of got that, ooh, I want to do more. What can I— what's the quick fix for that? It made me think. Maybe it's just the addict in me that thinks like, ooh, does she have that going on? And she doesn't. But right, the protective mama bear in me is like, for sure, thought about that. That crossed my mind. And so how old were you when you started taking drugs or drinking or started?

Yeah.

How old were you?

Yeah, you know, I took my first sip of alcohol when I was 11 years old. I didn't get drunk, but I fell in love with kind of the rush of it. I knew it was wrong. And that's kind of like opened up the door. You know, I grew up around where my family drank and partied. And I have, you know, my mom struggled with addiction, you know, so it was just kind of what I knew as a kid. And so, you know, when my parents, you know, both of them worked, Me and my brother would go behind the wet bar and grab some, you know, I don't know, vodka or whatever we got our hands on at that time. And we would just take a couple sips. I didn't get drunk, but I just, I don't know what it was, but I learned at a very young age, Amberly, that I had this all-or-nothing mentality. And, you know, when I'm, when I do something, I'm all in, good or bad. And that's, and obviously if it's towards something good, it's a good thing, but it can also be very destructive. And that just kind of opened the door.

Yeah.

at that time in my life to that world. And so yeah, I was pretty young, obviously.

But you played basketball, you had a love for basketball.

Yeah.

How old were you when you really started to fall in love with sports and basketball?

Yeah, great question. So, you know, that was kind of our religion in our family. We played sports. I played every sport under the sun. I loved it all. I loved growing up. I loved Saturdays because it was always game day growing up as well. When I was about 6th or 7th grade, I decided I wanted to focus just on basketball. That was like my passion, my love. And so I just, in my mind, dedicated my time and effort to being the best basketball player. At that age, I had dreams of getting a college scholarship. You know, when you're that young, you're thinking, okay, I want to play in the pros, you know. So you have all these dreams and aspirations. And I was a really scrawny, short kid, so I knew I was gonna have to work really, really hard. And so I was practicing 2 or 3 hours every day, and I didn't miss a day. If it snowed, I would, I would go shovel off the basketball court on the side of my house, and I would play outside in the cold. I was just, I was obsessed with it. And so yeah, basketball was my passion.

Now that's grit right there. Like, you were like, I know I'm, you know, I'm a little smaller, I'm a little scrawny. Yeah, but I can work really hard. Like, There was something inside you that knew that I can work hard. So I might have to work twice as hard. I might have to shovel away the snow so I can play. But that is really grit. That developed your grit at a young age.

Absolutely. Yeah, I really, you know, looking back on it now, yeah, for sure. Like, I've just kind of lived my life that way. And now that I focus it towards good things, it's been a really amazing blessing. But back then, You know, when you're a kid, you don't know how to handle those kind of things. And I was going down the wrong path. I didn't even realize that. And, and it opened up a really scary world to me later on.

Well, how old were you when you tried your first drug and what was it?

So yeah, so that's kind of where it starts. So when I was— so my goal, this will be important for your listeners, was to make the freshman team in high school. So that was my goal. And I'm practicing, like I said, 2 or 3 hours every day. I try out for the team, I make the team. And there was like 18 kids on the team, which meant I didn't get to play very much. You know, I'd get in at the end of the game if we were killing the team, that kind of thing. And it just, you know, it was actually really frustrating. I was like, man, I want to play more. But it just fueled my desire to play even, you know, practice even more. And that's what I did. I was just like, like I said, I was obsessed. So after my freshman year, after the season was over, there was like a month left of school in the month of May. I had a friend of mine Invite me to go to his— with his family to a place called Bear Lake. And it's a place here in Utah where a lot of people go to for vacation. And so I went up with him and his family. And as we pull into the campsite, everyone gets out of the car. My friend holds me back and says, hey, wait a minute, stay in here. And I'm like, what's going on? He goes, just hold on. As the family walked away from the car, he grabs his backpack and he pulls out a quarter ounce of marijuana. And for your listeners, that's a sandwich bag full, basically. And I didn't even know what it was. He's like— I'm like, what is that? He goes, it's marijuana. And he goes, we're gonna smoke this. And I'll never forget, he says, you're gonna love it. And I'm not kidding you, we smoked that entire bag in the next 4 days. And I fell in love with it. And that all-or-nothing mentality kicked in. And I said to myself, I'm gonna smoke this the rest of my life. I just— and little did I know the destructive path that was going to lead me down.

But—

I didn't know any different. And then a week later, I had another friend of mine whose parents were out of town, and they asked me if I'd ask one of my family members to get us some beer for a party. And so I asked this family member. They ended up buying us 10 cases of beer, a bunch of little freshmen. 10 cases of beer? Yeah.

Dang!

Yeah.

And we were thinking, oh, go big or go home.

Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah. And we thought, oh, how cool is this? And I drank so much. That was the first time I got really wasted and drunk, and I drank so much that night that I, I blacked out. I don't even remember half the night. And the next day, my friends were like, Todd, you were so crazy. And, and I gotta point this out, I was a really shy kid, and I guess I came out of my shell. I was talking to girls, which I was always afraid of, and, and I was doing things that I would never, never normally do. And as they're telling me this It was feeding my ego. I'm sitting there going, wow, they accept me. This feels good. And that's when I said, okay, I'm gonna smoke every day. I'm gonna drink every weekend from that point forward. And that's what I started doing. I'm still practicing basketball 2 or 3 hours every day. And that just became my life. And so, like I said, basketball was still my passion. Between my freshman year and my sophomore year, I grew 7 inches, which was really good. 7 or 8 inches.

Wow!

Which is really good for basketball, right?

Yeah.

And I ended up making the sophomore basketball team, played some varsity. We ended up taking first in state. I led the whole sophomore team in every category. My junior year, we took second in state. I led the team in every category. And then my senior year, I was voted team captain with 2 other guys, and we took first in state again. And I just had this really good run. Things were going well. You know, but to go back to my sophomore year is when things really started to change. I started doing every drug I could get my hands on, you know.

Back then you were doing— you were like almost living like this double life where for sure you were this athlete and on one side like very like it was feeding your ego to make the team, make captain, do so well. And I will share with you that, uh, I got kicked off the basketball team.

Oh really?

I sucked.

I was so bad.

They're like, you know what, you might be tall, But you suck. Um, so don't ever come back. And that was the church basketball team.

Oh, really? Oh, wow.

Don't ever come back here. Okay.

Oh man.

But, um, I love the way that you're, you're talking about, you know, smoking marijuana. Like, I'm gonna smoke this the rest of my life. And just that feeling of that shot of courage that alcohol gave you. You have in your book in chapter 6 Drugs take you to hell diagnosed as heaven.

Yeah.

And it's so true. Like when you start to— when you think about it, it's like, oh, this is awesome. I can talk to girls. I can still play like a superstar on the basketball team. And it works until it doesn't. It is hell. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you think everything's fine. And then, and then all of a sudden, you realize you've walked yourself right into hell. And that's what eventually happened.

And It's a gateway. Like, I think marijuana and alcohol is a gateway to other things. It can be anyway. So then—

Oh, it absolutely is.

What were some of the other things that you started trying? Because it— like, this time, were you like, oh, I always had this healthy fear, still do, of drugs? Like, I've never tried coke. I've never tried any hardcore drugs except for what doctors induced me with after my accident. Those are some pretty hardcore stuff, but for sure.

Oh yeah.

I've always been really scared. And one of the reasons I actually— I'll admit this, I don't know if I've ever even told anybody this— I was scared to try coke because I was afraid I might like it.

Oh, yeah.

So what drugs did you start doing that got you into some trouble?

Yeah, back then was, you know, it was really pop speed. We called them crosstops. They were really popular back then. I mean, it's obviously an upper and it's a stimulant. And we would snort those, we'd take those.

You would snort that?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, we would do stuff. I mean, again, we were just, you know, you just do crazy things when you're a kid. You think you're invincible and we're just partying. I really did every drug under the sun. I started doing cocaine. I fell in love with that. We were doing mushrooms. I was, you know, we were drinking cough syrup.

Wow!

I mean, anything I could get my hands on and I started getting this reputation now as this partier, which also fed my ego and I really wore it as a badge of honor. You know, I just thought, look how cool I am. I'm still playing basketball. Everything seems fine. And, and it wasn't until my senior year when things really started to take a turn. I noticed this voice in my head. I refer to it as the bully because it feels like a bully pushes you around. And we all have this voice, even when we're little. It's that voice that tells you you're no good. You're different, so you can't connect. You're— you'll never change. No one's going to want to be with you. And I was really, for whatever reason, my senior year, that voice was loud in my head. And I walked around really depressed. At this point, I'm a full-blown addict.

Wow.

I don't realize it though. I mean, again, my family, we didn't— we never talked about these kinds of things. I mean, it was never talked about. And I just— I'm struggling. I was— I would play a couple really good games and then a couple really bad games in my senior year. And my family and my coaches were all going, what's wrong? And I'm like, I don't know. And I didn't put it together with the drug and drug use and the partying and the drinking and all that. And, um, and it wasn't—

But it was starting to show up. It was starting to— like, it was like the gig is up. It's showing up in your— the way you're playing, probably in your schoolwork, probably in your—

Oh yeah, yep, doing horrible in school. And I, you know, I'd walk around, like I said, I'd walk around the hallways just depressed and having thoughts of ending my life. Things like that, and things got really dark at times, and I felt only somewhat normal if I was partying because then I was the cool kid, you know, doing those kind of things. And, you know, like I said, my senior year we took state, the, you know, that year, and the state final game, I played the best game of my life. Everything just for whatever reason came together that night. I played the best game. We won by 20 points and state championship. It was one of the best moments of my life. And then a week later, I got offered a full-ride scholarship. Wow! And I was so excited because that was one of my goals. I wanted to get a college scholarship. And so here I've got this scholarship in hand. And, and, you know, it's the end of my senior year. And I'm thinking, okay, it's the end of my senior year, I've already got the scholarship. And so I'm gonna party like I've never partied before in my life. And I'd like to share one example with your listeners of how bad things got, not to glorify it, But so they understand how bad things got for me. We were at a party, I think it was a week before graduation. And, you know, we're all drinking, we invited the whole senior class, and it was just packed with people. And one of my friends pulls out his beer bong, we had a beer bong, it's a device that you can lift over your head to shoot, you know, any liquid down your throat in seconds.

Wow.

And so we got in this big circle, this party, and everyone's going to try to outdo everybody. You know, you're gonna have one beer, the next person's gonna try to do 2, and the next person will try to do 3. And it was just going around the circle, and I'm at the end. And I thought, when it gets to me, I'm gonna blow everyone away. Again, feeding my ego. I want everyone to think, look how crazy Todd is. Well, it gets to me and I pour a fifth of vodka in there.

Oh God.

Yeah. And my buddy next to me goes, don't do that. And I didn't even hesitate. I lifted it up over my head.

Oh my God.

And I drank a fifth of vodka in 2 seconds. And that's the last thing I remember. Oh, I woke up.

You could have died.

Oh, yeah. So I didn't know it then, Amberly, but my blood alcohol level would have been 0.51. Lethal is 0.42. Yes, I should have died. I didn't wake up until the next evening with my friends reviving me at 6 PM the next evening. And I woke up to one of the most pathetic scenes. I'm covered head to toe in blood. I was puking blood all night, all day.

Oh my goodness.

And I'm in my friend's living room.

They didn't take you to the hospital?

Oh no, they were all wasted too. And I would have done the same thing they did. I hate to admit it. They're just thinking, oh, let him sleep it off. I would have done the same thing, just to be totally honest. And you don't think that way when you're partying with your buddies. You just don't. But I woke up, you know, covered in blood, and I'm in my friend's living room holding a toilet seat. Again, one of the most pathetic scenes you could ever see. And again, my friends were there saying, that's the craziest thing we've ever seen. And again, feeding my ego. And at this point though, Amberly, I'm a complete mess. I'm depressed. I'm suicidal. I hate who I am. And a few weeks later, you think this would have slowed things down. Things just got worse. Well, a few weeks later, after we had— after I had graduated, I started practicing with the team I got the scholarship with. And as we were practicing, about 2 weeks into it, the coach pulls me into his office.

Oh no!

And he said, what's going on? And right when he said that, I knew I was in trouble because I wasn't playing well mentally, spiritually, physically. I'm a complete mess. And I go, oh, Coach, I know I'm not playing well. I will try harder. I will do better. I, you know, I apologize. And he goes, Todd, there's kids who have walked on who want this more than you by the way they're playing. And I hate to do this, but I'm taking away your scholarship.

Oh, gosh.

And when that happened, Amberly, I'm not kidding you. I literally get on my knees in this guy's office and I go, please, Please give me another chance. I'm getting emotional. I'm tearing up. And he goes, I'm sorry, Todd, the decision's already been made. And so that's when I went off the deep end, like really went off the deep end. I got— I just became this angry drunk at that point. And I would punch holes in the wall. I'd pick fights with people. I'm not a fighter. I'd pick fights with people. I'd throw chairs through windows. I was a complete and utter mess. at that point in my life. Because, you know, you know how important identity is. My identity then was, you know, if you were to ask me, who are you? I would have said basketball player.

Mm-hmm.

And when that felt like it was going away from me, I just thought, oh, I mean, it was a scary, scary thought. And I ended up trying out at several other colleges, got cut from every single one of them. And then I found myself living in a, in a home with 5 other guys that were— we were attempting to go to school. college, and but we weren't going to class, we were just partying. And, and this house was nasty. We didn't clean it. We— I mean, it was— I want to mention this because this is an important principle that I have learned, that our outer world mirrors our inner world. This house was an outward manifestation of my inner world. And so, I mean, people would pee in the corners. We'd throw beer bottles.

Really?

Yeah, we'd throw beer bottles against the wall and let them shatter. We wouldn't clean up the glass. We never cleaned it. Mold everywhere. I mean, it was nasty. I mean, it's the best word I can use to describe it. But this was like, again, an outward manifestation of my inner world. I was a complete mess and this house represented that. And so it was a Thursday. I'll never forget it. I'm drinking and reality hits me that basketball's over. You're never going to play in college. And that reality was so scary. And that voice in my head was like, who practices 2 or 3 hours every day since 6th grade to do this? And I was just like— and that's when I had planned my suicide.

Yeah, I read that in your book, that you were like, you had a gun, you were gonna commit suicide. And then who helped you at that moment? I mean, we have to be willing to help ourselves. But how did you get through that moment, because I, I was in a place too where I was like, oh, I don't want to keep living. I can't keep living like this. Um, yeah. And there is gift in desperation. We all hit whatever our rock bottom is. I mean, you would have thought, you know, people go, oh, throwing up blood on a floor with— in the living room, holding a toilet seat in the living room, that's rock bottom. But everybody's rock bottom is different.

Yeah.

And only we know when we've hit that rock bottom where like, it's time, this is it, time to climb up. How did you reach out for help? What did you do at that point?

Yeah, so it really at that point, I felt hopeless because, you know, my mom was addicted to opiates, my dad was a drinker, all my friends partied, I honestly felt hopeless. I was like, there's nowhere to turn. And so that's why I planned I was going to end my life. So this was a Thursday. On the weekends, I would go home. So I was living away from home, like I said, in that house with that nasty house, but I'd come up to where, you know, I grew up in and I would work as a bartender on the weekends. And so Friday, it's now Friday, and I'm heading home to go end my life because I knew where the gun was. I had it all planned out. And I'm getting ready to get on the freeway entrance and where I was living, Right next to the freeway entrance is the school I was attempting to actually go to class. And we, me and my friends, would always go sit in the lunchroom here at that, at this college. And, you know, we sit at the same table every lunch hour, we would sit and check out girls and gossip and everything that you do as kids. And for whatever reason, before I got on the freeway, I thought, you know what, it was lunchtime. And I thought, you know what, I'm gonna go in there and sit there almost like a last goodbye to my friends. And so I go there, I'm sitting at this table with all my friends, everyone's just talking. I'm not talking to anyone. I'm just in my own head thinking about what I'm going to go do. And I literally am just sitting there. I didn't say hi to anyone. And I'm just, you know, doing my own thing and thinking about those things. And there was these 2 religious girls that were sitting next to me. And these 2 girls, for whatever reason, loved to come sit at our table. And they were always inviting us to go to church and listen. And I was so mean. Unfortunately, I hate to say this, but I was so mean to these girls. I just feel like, I'd rip on their religion, I'd rip on God. I didn't believe— I wasn't raised religious at all. And so it just bugged me that these girls would sit at our table, to be totally honest. And I think what bugged me is they seemed so happy, and I was miserable. And I was just like projecting it onto them. Well, this particular day when I'm going to end my life, I'm just sitting there and I overhear these 2 girls talking about fasting and prayer. Never heard that before. I didn't even know what it was. And for some reason, the word fasting just hit me in the heart. I was like, what is that? And I'm just sitting there still trying to hear their conversation. They're talking about fasting and prayer. And I'm like, what is that? And I didn't dare say anything in front of everybody. So these 2 girls get up to head to their class, I'm assuming. And I thought, you know what, I'm gonna go ask them. And I get up and I'm following them. And they're walking away from me. And I'm nervous. Like, I'm like, maybe I won't. And then I finally tap them on the shoulder, they turn around. And I said, they go, hey, what's up? And I said, were you guys just talking about fasting and prayer? And they're like, yeah, why do you want to know? Because they're probably thinking I want to rip on them again or something. I go, no, I'm serious. Like, I really want to know. I have no idea what that even is. Will you explain that to me? So they said, in our religion, we fast once a month where we start with a prayer, we go the whole day without food or water or drink, and then we end with a prayer. And as they're telling this to me, Amberly, I'm going, what is the point? I thought, this is ridiculous. And I asked the girls, I said, what's the point? And I'll never forget, a girl points in my face and says, if you want help from God. And I got to be honest with you, it just hit me. Like, I— what went through my mind, Amberly, was, is there a God? And would God help me? That's what— because again, I didn't grow up believing in God. I did not believe in God. I was kind of agnostic. I was right down the middle. I didn't know either way.

Yeah, but you're probably like, I need help. Like, I need help. Is there— maybe God can help me.

Yeah. And that's where that desperation was. I was like, maybe, maybe this might work. And so I just told the girls thanks, and I walked away. And as I walked away, I thought, you know what, I'm not going home. I'm not going to go be a bartender this weekend. I'm going to stay down here in the nasty house. And I'm going to try this. I'm going to fast and pray. So now Saturday comes. And the girl said, start with a prayer. I knew what prayer was. I never prayed, but I knew what it was. So I go into this teeny little coat closet because I didn't want my roommates to see what I was doing. And it's so small with coats in it that I literally have to get on my knees. And, and as I'm on my knees, all I said was, God, if you're there, I need help. That's all I said. I'm not kidding you. And for the first time since Bear Lake, I didn't smoke a bowl. I didn't pop a pill. I didn't snort a line of coke. I didn't have a drink. And I don't know if any of your listeners have ever fasted before, but you get a little cranky sometimes, a little hangry, right? And I was really in a bad mood. Even my roommates are like, what's up with you? And I'm like, nothing, because I don't want to tell them what I was doing.

Yeah.

I made it till about noon. You're supposed to go all day, I think, at the time. I didn't know at the time. And so I made it till about noon. And they said, end with a prayer. So I went back into that closet. And I got on my knees again. And I just said, God, I did this fast. If you're there, I need your help. And I waited. And being naive, I thought, okay, if God's real, he's going to show up. And I just sat there and I felt like it's— I sat there forever. It was probably just a couple minutes. I was very impatient. Nothing happened. I actually was really disappointed and I got wasted. I just got wasted and I was depressed. I was still thinking about ending my life, but for whatever reason, this kind of kept me from doing that. And this went on for the next month. And then I get a random phone call a month later after the fast, and it's from a friend of mine who I played basketball with in my high school. His name was Rich. He went on to play basketball at UC Davis. He was a really good kid. You know, he was a kid that, you know, he was a churchgoing kid, a very faithful person in that realm, and great kid. Anyway, he was now married. You know, he was done with school and stuff. He gives me a call out of the blue, and he goes, "Hey Todd, where are you at these days?" I said, "I'm down here in Orem, Utah." And he goes, "I'm down here too." He goes, "I'd love to catch up. Would you be willing to come over to my place?" I said, "Sure." And I thought that was weird. I hadn't talked to him since high school. And so, but I thought, okay, be cool to catch up with him. But as I'm driving over there, I'm going, man, this is going to be awkward. I haven't seen him for a while. He probably he has no clue what a mess I am. Right?

Yeah.

So I get there, I knock on the door, he opens up the door. We go in, we sit down, he's got a real serious look on his face. And I thought, that's weird. And I kept going, is everything okay? He's like, no, everything's fine. And we just start talking weather talk, right? And then he starts saying all these good things about me, Amberly. He's like, Todd, you're a good person. You're gonna help so many people in your life. You're gonna make a difference in this world. And you know, when you don't believe compliments, you, you tend to just go, hey, whoa, it feels uncomfortable. I was so uncomfortable. And I finally stopped him. And I said, hey, I don't know why you're saying all these good things about me. But my life's a mess. So I'd appreciate it if you stop.

Wow.

I didn't go to work today because I have to share a message with you. And I'm like, what's going on? Again, I'm just puzzled. And he goes, and I can tell he's nervous. And he takes this deep breath. And he just goes, Todd, the Lord came to me last night and says, we need you on our side today. And I don't know how to explain it, Amberly. I felt this feeling from head to toe. And what I can describe it now is I just felt love.

Every time I talk to you, I cry.

I know, it was, it was so surreal. I was going, wow. And in my head, I'm going, did I— is that an answer to my fast? So I tell Rich, I go, I fasted about a month ago for help. And Rich gets in my face and goes, this is your help. And I was like, oh my gosh. And we're sitting there in this silence, and I'm blown away. And I'll be honest with you, as good as it felt, it also felt— it didn't feel like I deserved that, if that makes sense. I was like, I almost was like, oh my, this is kind of scary feeling, even though it was good. It's just so awkward. And I want to keep going, if that's okay, Amberly.

Yeah.

Because there's a big part of this story that I want your listeners to hear, because it was amazing. Like, as amazing as that was, it gets even crazier.

Like, boy, you just had to be patient and trust, you know, that for sure. And, and a lot of times we want things to work out the way that we want them to work out, and we want instant gratification. I think especially when you've been an addict, like, you, you want instant gratification.

Yeah.

So you're learning, okay, there's delayed gratification. I have to trust this process, like really have faith and keep that little bit of hope.

Yeah.

And it might show up a little differently than you expected or planned. But there is a God that's taking care of you and looking, waiting for you to ask for help.

Yeah, it was amazing.

Yeah. Then what happened after that?

So he— so I look at him basically and say, well, now what? And I told Rich, I go, you have no idea, my life's a complete mess right now. And he goes, he goes, I want you to go meet with this clergyman. And I want you to kind of tell him everything you've been doing. And I'm like, no, I'm not going to do that. And he goes, Rich is one of those guys who are like, no, you're going to do this. And so he gets on the phone. He spends seriously, like, he's on the phone for like 45 minutes. I'm just sitting there waiting for him. And he tracks down this guy. who was a clergyman in the neighborhood that my family grew up in. And he tracked this guy down. I don't know how he did it, honestly. And he tracks him down, gets me an appointment for the next day. And he goes, okay, I've got you an appointment. And I'm like, why do I need to go see this guy? And he goes, I want you to tell him everything you've been doing. And I'm like, I can't do that. And Rich grabs me by the collar and says, you better show up.

Yeah, you know what? It was just That's like getting you to look at kind of your defects, your character defects, admit to someone what you're doing, what— who you've hurt, what you've done that's wrong. It's like doing a 5th step in the 12-step program. It's like doing a 5th step, and that's where you admit to somebody your wrongdoings. And I just had written down, and I just read this in a book yesterday, where I had written down If you don't do a 5th step, you will drink a 5th or something like that. Like you have to be brutally honest and that's how you get to stay sober is being completely honest. So that sounds like that's what he was kind of getting you to do. Like go talk to somebody and just share. And I feel like so often we stuff those feelings down and we stuff that pain down and it just magnifies it and it will come out.

Yeah.

Yeah, over and over. And so, wow. So you did— you went and showed up to this clergyman? Yeah.

Yeah. So I show up and, you know, in the religion that was, they call him a bishop, a clergyman, you know, whatever your listeners understand. But he was, he was a bishop. And I, and I go and I think, I'll go there, I'll spend 5 minutes there, I'll listen to what he has to maybe tell me, and then I'm out of there. Well, I go there and this guy, his name is Bishop Taylor. And he's one of my heroes to this day. What I didn't realize is he ended up becoming my rehab. So I go sit with him and he just says, hey, tell me what's been going on, and doesn't say another word. And so I tell him kind of what happened with me and Rich. Long story short, I end up unloading on this dude and I spend 3 hours in this guy's office and I tell him everything I've been doing— the drugs, the abuse, the manipulation I was doing, the things I was doing with girls. The money I was stealing from my parents. I mean, I was— I unloaded everything on him. And I'm thinking, this guy is going to throw me out of his office, right? Well, he goes— and I'm so glad you brought up honesty— because he goes, when I got done, he goes, okay, I got 4 things I want you to do. He goes, number one, he goes, can you say a prayer like you did in that closet? Can you do one prayer a day like that, do you think? I'm like, yeah, I can probably do that, right? And then he hands me some scriptures. And he goes, can you read one verse a day? You think? And I literally, Amberly, I'm like, what's a verse?

Wow!

You got to remember, I'm an infant in this. He literally opens it up and goes, this is a verse. He goes, I don't even care if you understand it. But this is a verse. And I go, yeah, I could probably read one of those a day. And then he goes, I want to meet with you every week for a year. And I'm like, I can't do that. And he goes, we'll take it a week at a time, but I want to meet with you. And then he goes, the 4th thing, because I want you to be honest with me. And I go, well, I just told you everything. But what do you mean? He goes, when we meet, I need to know if you used, if you got high, if you manipulated, if you stole anything. You just need to be honest with me. And he taught me what you were just saying.

Honesty kills bad behavior.

I say this to my clients all the time, if you're honest with yourself, you'll never relapse, ever. And so this guy taught me the power of honesty. And so I started meeting with this guy every week. And it takes me 8 and a half months, Amberly, before I can say I made it 3 days clean this week. So I've been meeting with 8 and a half months. Now I'm still a bartender, which is not a good idea if you're trying to stop drinking, right?

Yeah.

And And this is the part of the story that I really want to get into, if that's okay.

Yeah, of course.

So as a bartender, I would get tips from the waiters and waitresses because I'd prepare their drinks for their customers. And then anyone that would sit at the bar, I'd make their drinks as well. And I was really good at getting tips because I'd always give the first drink free. And I knew if I did that, I'd get a big tip. So I'd manipulate them and give me a tip. Well, I'd get a bunch of change. quarters, nickels, and dimes, and I'd keep it in the cup holders of my car. And I had about $40, and this is 32 years ago. That's a lot of money back then. And I'd use that money to buy pot. I'd use it to fill my car up with gas. I mean, so I'd throw this change in there. Well, at this 8 and a half month mark where I made it 3 days clean, that voice in my head's still going strong. You're pathetic. You're no good. You're never going to get clean. You're never going to do this. And again, I'm still struggling. Well, I'm driving out of my neighborhood on a Saturday. It's a beautiful sunny day. And as I'm driving out of my neighborhood, out of the corner of my eye, I see this little girl selling lemonade. No big deal. I drive right on past. And then I had this impression come over me, Amberly, that said, turn around and give her all the money in your car. And I thought, wow. I thought, man, I thought I got a lot of money in here. That'd be, that'd be pretty amazing. So I literally flipped my car around, I pull up, roll my window down. There's this cute little girl, 4th grade girl sitting there, and I go, how much for a cup? She said 25 cents. And I said, I'll take one. So she pours it, hands it to me, I set it on my dashboard, and then I tell this little girl to cup her hands like this, you know, right in front of her. And I start scooping all this money into her hands, and this girl starts freaking out.

Wow.

I'm like, hold on, I got more. She's getting emotional. She's like, no way, thank you so much. I'm like, no, you hold on, I got more. It takes me like 10 scoops To get all this money in, and I'm getting every penny I can find. And the last scoop, she throws it onto her little table out there, and she takes off into her house. And I'm thinking, she's gonna go tell her parents some dude just gave her $1 million, right? Well, as I pull away, Amberly, I start to cry like I've never cried before in my entire life. Have you ever cried so hard, Amberly, that you feel like you're cleansing your soul?

Oh, yeah.

This was one of those soul cleansing cries. And I literally have to pull my car over, I throw it in park. I put my face in my hands, and I just sob. And I am sobbing so hard. It's as if all this evilness was coming out of me. And in that moment, I loved who I was. In that moment, I felt like I mattered. In that moment, I wanted to be clean. This lit my soul on fire. And this is why I have this quote on my wall that you can see behind me. It's by Ferdinand Foch. It says the most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire. I was on fire. And that all-or-nothing mentality, Amberly, kicks in. And I thought, if that little girl's there next Saturday, I'm giving her all my money that I earned as a bartender. So next Saturday, on purpose, I drive by where she was before. And sure enough, she's out there and she sees me and she recognizes me.

She's probably so excited.

She was so pumped. And I give her like $35 in quarters, nickels, and dimes. I do this every Saturday for the next 2 and a half months.

Wow.

And I give her all my money that I'm earning as a bartender, ironically. And every time I pull away from that lemonade stand, I just start to cry like I've never cried before. It was like this cleansing process I was going through. Now this is where everything comes together. I decide— so it's been 8 and a half months, I make it 3 days clean. 2 and a half months after that, giving her all my money every Saturday, right? I decide I'm going to go to church for the first time. I'm going to go for the first time, check it out. So I go to church. I don't know anybody. I'm scared to death. I'm sitting in the very back corner. And I think I'm going to stay for just a couple minutes, and then I'm going to leave.

And what kind of church was it?

It was a— it was an LDS church.

Okay.

Christian church. And again, I just thought, I'm gonna go see what it's all about. I don't know. I mean, I wanted to connect, you know, somehow. And anyway, I'm sitting in the back corner and I'm looking around, you know, you know, you're people watching, right? And I look on the other side of the congregation and there's that little lemonade girl with her mom. And she recognizes me. And she's waving, going and going to her mom, there's the guy, she's pointing at me and the mom's waving. My heart starts racing, right? Well, I decided to stay. And when church gets over, they come walking over towards me. And again, my heart's pounding. And the mom's crying. And then mom comes up, Amberly, and gives me this hug. She's in my ear. And she says, Todd, thank you so much for what you've done for my daughter. And I said, you have no idea what this has done for me. And she goes, oh no, you don't understand. She was saving for a trampoline. You put her over the top. She got her trampoline. She thinks you're like the greatest. And I said, no, again, you have no idea this has been for me. And then the mom goes, we have a favor to ask you. And I'm going, what? And she goes, on Wednesday, there's a daddy-daughter date. Would you take her as your date? And I'm like, what? And I said, what about her dad? And she said, well, we were— I was divorced from her dad when she was young. And she really wants to go. He's not in her life at all anymore. Would you please take her? And she's sitting there, her name's Lindy, she's sitting there just staring at me and I'm like, what am I gonna say, no? And little does the mom know she's asking this drug addict alcoholic to take her 4th grader. She has no clue. She doesn't know me. She just thinks I'm some nice guy that's giving her money, which anyway, so I say yes. Wednesday comes.

I was thinking that's pretty trusting. Like, it's really trusting. Hey, you stranger on the street. Yeah, like, it's kind of a funny story. You'd do that.

Oh, you wouldn't.

Yeah.

Anyway, so I picked this little girl up on Wednesday. I take her up Big Cottonwood Canyon here in Salt Lake City, and we're up at a picnic site, and we're all up there with their dads and their daughters. I don't know anyone. I don't even know her. I'm sitting there going, why did I say yes to this? And we start playing games, right? And one of the games was, how well do you know your daughter? How well do you know your dad? You know, like favorite color, favorite food. And I look at her, I'm sorry, we can't do that. And she— I kid you not— she says, let's guess. I kid you not, Amberly, had I not been there, I wouldn't have believed it. We almost get every answer correct. We're high-fiving each other. Everyone's looking at us thinking we're cheating because they know she's not my daughter.

Wow!

Again, I know nobody. I'm— I know nobody. And then I have this thought. I'm used to waking up hungover with puke all over me, doing some of the most horrible things the night before. And here I am with this pure innocent girl, and we're having hot dogs and Kool-Aid. Well, they gather everyone in to say a blessing on the food, which I thought was weird. I'm like, man, is there something wrong with the hot dogs? Why would you bless hot dogs? I thought that was weird. So anyway, they gather in and everyone's folding their arms. So I'm just— again, I know nothing. I'm following along. I fold my arms. And this guy just says a simple little prayer to bless the hot dogs and Kool-Aid. But in that prayer, Amberly, as I hear this voice in my head, This is Todd. You're in the right place, doing the right thing. You made an impact on this girl's life forever that she'll never forget. And I love you. And I lose it. I lose it in this prayer. I feel this love like I've never felt before in my life. And I just start bawling my eyes out. And, you know, the prayer gets over and the dudes look at me like, man, it's just hot dogs and Kool-Aid, man, relax. And, and Lindy's like, are you okay? I'm like, no, I'm so okay. These are happy tears. And in that moment, Amberly, is when I said, I will never, ever drink or do drugs again. And I will do my best to be honest, and to have integrity, and to be accountable. And I'm going to dedicate my life to helping other people. And that was 32 years ago. I've been clean and sober for 32 years. And one last thing, and then I'll—

That's it. That's— no, I mean, it's— I've been crying the whole time. If you're watching this on YouTube, you're like, oh my gosh, Amberly just hadn't stopped crying. But it's just, it's just a mirror. It's a miracle how everything fell into place at the right time. You driving by and seeing the girl with a lemonade stand. Now I'm curious, do you still talk to her to this day? Do you know?

Yes. Yeah, Lindy. She's actually my best marketer. She sends me clients all the time. We've stayed in contact all these years. She's an amazing woman doing amazing things. She's She calls herself a connector. She knows everybody. She's a friend to everybody. She truly is one of the most amazing people. She saved my life. When I decided I was going to get clean, I created a drug-free program and I started going around to all the elementary schools here in the state of Utah, sharing my story, helping kids believe in themselves. And what happened from that is parents would come up to me and say, my son or daughter loves your program. Would you meet with them one-on-one? I didn't have a clue what I was doing other than I knew I wanted to help people. And I said, sure, I'll start meeting with them. And that's what started my mental fitness coaching and life coaching. And I've been doing that for 32 years. And I haven't looked back.

Wow. I mean, I'm just— your story is unbelievable. There's so many people that do have that, that need that mental strength, that emotional strength, that resilience. And we all have that bully. And sometimes that can come out loud and mean. Absolutely.

Yeah.

What are some of the things that you get people to kind of— because I do believe mindset is everything. And you and y'all, he's got a big, you know, beautiful painting with a fish, a little goldfish with a shark fin on it that says mindset is everything. And I do believe that whether it's overcoming addiction or whether it's overcoming chronic physical pain Yeah. Or emotional pain, it starts with your mindset, really. What are some things that you can get people to do to help them shift their mindset and kind of tame that bully? And do you ever really get rid of that bully?

The bully, you never really fully get rid of it, but you can definitely lock it up in a way that— because we all, you know, have negative thoughts go through our head. But when you get to a certain point and you've worked on these things, you can crush it. But one of the things I start off with, and it's my favorite thing, and it's the greatest truth. I mean, anyone listening to this podcast right now, this is the greatest truth about you. And I actually have it. I think you even read it in your podcast when you're on my podcast. Maybe you didn't. I can't remember. Anyway, the thing I tell my clients, I actually have them read this. It's above my head. It's over here. And it says, the most delightful surprise in life is to suddenly recognize there's nothing wrong with you. And when you see a heroin addict sitting across from me on day 1, read that out loud, without fail, they start crying. And I'll say, I bet you've never heard that before, have you? And they said, never, never heard that. I said, what if that's true? What if the most delightful surprise is there's nothing wrong with you? And they can't fathom it.

Yeah.

So that, that's where I start. That's kind of— I always throw that out in the beginning. And then I help them get to that point. And, and I also say, you know, I really believe that our adversity and our addiction is the wake-up call to our greatness. Because I look at what I'm doing now, I never would— I wouldn't be talking to you today had I not had that sip of alcohol when I was 11. I mean, it all played a part into this very moment. And so, so I think I always like to start with the foundation that there's nothing wrong with you. It doesn't mean we don't have stuff to work on. But to your core, inherently, you're good.

Wow.

All of us are good. And when we can get if we can start believing that because it's the truth, it really does make a huge difference in moving forward in anything that you're dealing with.

And I think that acceptance, radical acceptance of yourself, is the first step. It's willing to take a look at yourself and go, oh. And it really, you know, for me, it was the road to not just recovery as far as from alcohol or addiction. It was a recovery to self-love, um, to start to little by little love myself, because I hated myself.

Yeah.

Um, and so yeah, I think that's a powerful, powerful way to look at it. There's nothing wrong with you at the core, and that you're lovable, that you, you can start loving yourself, and that other people and God loves you. That's so important. Tell us a little bit about your program and, and what it does. And is it all the different kinds of programs you have for different mindsets so people can spark that joy and have a life that they deserve? What are some of the steps that your program takes people through?

Yeah, that's, that's a, that's a great question, you know, and it really is this— what I've learned in 32 years is that we as human beings overcomplicate everything. We just do. Even recovery, we overcomplicate that whole process. And so what I do is I've simplified this program. And the biggest pushback I get when I explain this to someone, and I'll explain it here in just a second, is it can't be that simple, Todd. And what I've learned is the truth is it really is that simple.

One of my favorite mottos is keep it simple.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, keep it simple. Like, don't overcomplicate. No, keep it simple. Because yes, we like to overthink, we get that soundtrack going on in our head, and we have to do all these things, and then we're like, screw it. But just keep it simple. But yeah, I want to hear how simple it is.

I'm passionate about belief systems because our beliefs dictate our behavior. So when I'm dealing with an addict, let's say, you know, and they're, they're slamming heroin, I don't have to tell them to stop slamming heroin. They already know that. What's the underlying belief that dictates that type of behavior? And it goes back to— could be a bunch of things, but the top 3 I always hear is, I'm not good enough, I'm different so I can't connect, and I'm too far gone and my problems are too big that I'll never be able to change. It's just who I am. And those beliefs keep us stuck. And because of those beliefs, it leads to the behavior. Some of us do drugs, some of us do other, other unhealthy things. So what I do is I address the beliefs. Because if you change the belief, then the behavior will change automatically. I don't need to tell you to stop doing that. Change the belief, it'll happen automatically. And it's so beautiful to watch. And so one of the ways I do that is I teach a technique called the Addictive Voice Recognition Technique. It's actually a technique that every Olympic athlete uses as part of their training. And what this does is it helps you reshape your self-image on a subconscious midbrain level.

Wow!

And what that means is when you do it on that level, it's permanent, lasting change. And, and the reason why Olympians use it— one, it works because they wouldn't waste their time with it if it didn't work. And 2, it's one of the most effective ways to change your self-image in a very simplistic way. And so that's a technique that I teach.

And then let's have a little bit. We all need that. What's a little simple? Bring it on. I want to be thinking like an Olympian.

All right, well, let's, let's, let's do it this way then. If anyone listening to this, if you want to do this exercise, what I would challenge you to do is write down every negative thing you tell yourself. Now, this is not a fun assignment because it's going to bring up some feelings, probably some negative emotions.

Mm-hmm.

And, and, and what I mean by this, I don't mean like, oh, I had a negative thought, I'm going to write it down. I want you to sit down and go, what are all the negative things? Go back to your childhood. See, I used to think I looked funny. That was one of the things I used to tell myself. And so on my list, though, I would put, I look funny, I'm not good enough. I'm— you should hear some of these things that I get. I mean, if I can find it here really fast.

Oh gosh, I get things like— for, for me, one of mine, a recurring one that I tell myself is I'm not smart enough.

Oh yeah. So there you go. That's your bully.

That's my bully. And I, I can look back and I can tell you exactly when that bully woke up and started talking to me.

Absolutely. Everyone listening to this could do the same thing. And so come up with your list. And if you do it right, your list will be pretty long.

Oh, gosh, I'm sure. I mean, I catch myself. And a lot of times, you know what, Todd? People think I'm the most positive person, motivational, you know? And I'm like, no, I really work at it. Because sometimes that inner critic really comes out. Sometimes I'm not positive, but I work on it every day. And yeah, it seems like a lot of work.

Yeah.

Like last night, um, we just celebrated my 50th birthday party. Last night I had a 50th birthday. My husband was so sweet. He surprised me, um, and had all my family together. And I was like, okay, well, I gotta get going home. They're like, well, it's only 9 o'clock. And I'm like, but I get up at 4:30 tomorrow morning, so I need to go sleep. And they're like, why do you get up so early? And it's because I start my day off with some quiet time. Yeah, to set my intention, to do a prayer, to gratitude. But now I'm going to add this, Todd, I'm going to add the negative things on a sheet of paper that I tell myself, and then what do you do?

And then you're going to flip it on another piece of paper. where you add your name. So if the first one says, I'm stupid, the next one would say, I, Amberly, am brilliant. And then that becomes your affirmation list. And what's cool about that is you're now attacking the very negative things you're actually telling yourself, but you're going to say the opposite of them. And here's the technique. I call it recognize, refuse, replace. When you have a negative thought come through your mind, you need to recognize it, right? So I— so let's— so you recognize it. I just had that negative thought. Then you refuse it and you basically objectify it. There's the bully. I call it the bully. Call it whatever you want. There's the bully. And then you replace it by adding your name. So if the thought comes in, I'm stupid, I just recognized it. Now I'm going to refuse it. That's not me. And then you would say, I, Amberly, am brilliant. There's the technique. Recognize, refuse, replace. And I'll tell you, it is a game changer. And then that champion, you know, I call it the champion list, all that positive stuff. That becomes your daily affirmations. And people say, oh great, affirmations, do they really work? Well, think about this. Everyone listening to this can sing the ABC song. How did you learn the ABC song? By repetition. It's the most effective way to learn anything. And what it does, it takes it from short-term memory to long-term memory, and you'll be able to sing the ABC song until you're, you know, dead and gone. You can, you know, because of that repetition. Repetition deepens the impression or creates the new belief system. And so affirmations do really work if we'll actually put in the time to do it. And so that's— it's so simple that people won't do it.

Well, you know what, you're sitting here telling me this, and I have affirmations on a sticky note right here on my computer, right? And I don't read them every day. I need to read them every day. It's here for a reminder. And then it— but you have to really commit, decide you're going to do it and be committed to doing it.

Yeah.

Every day I'm going to start. And I know affirmations work. They really do shift your mindset.

There's a principle out there called the 21/90 rule. And what that is, is it takes about 21 days to create a habit and it takes 90 days to create a lifestyle. So think about it. We can all brush our teeth, you know, closing our eyes because we brushed our teeth well past 90 days. We can tie our shoe without looking. Why? Because we've done it well past 90 days. When you do these affirmations well past 90 days, they just become automatic, just like the ABC song. It's always there and you can just recall it any moment you want. And so that's where we have to be patient and make it through that transitional phase to to get it into our long-term memory.

Well, what continues to inspire you to speak to youth and adult groups and do all— I mean, because you are just— you've got your podcast, you're speaking, you're coaching. Where do you gather your inspiration?

Well, people like you, honestly.

Seeing— I paid him to say that, y'all.

Yeah, yes, the check's in the mail.

She—

no, no, seriously. And I don't say that because we're just talking. Like I told you, I just shared your story to my group here at Wasatch Recovery. And they were blown away. I mean, it's people like you, watching people come in with irrational belief systems and actually change them to the positive and changing their lives. And seeing them, you know, be hopeless, and now they feel joyful. And, you know, listening to stories like yours, Amberly, it's just like, man, this is what it's about. We go through hard times, but it wakes us up to our greatness. Think about your adversity you've gone through. It woke you up to your greatness. Look what you're doing. And so Watching that transform in somebody, there's no greater high on the planet than that. And you know, I always say this: if you master the first 11 steps of AA, you'll drink again. If you master step 12, you'll never touch another drop. What's step 12? It's giving back and helping someone else. And so I'm just, you know, when I had my life changed like it did, I just felt a responsibility that I'm going to give back the rest of my life. And I—it's the greatest high on on the planet.

That's beautiful. I know I'm not supposed to talk about like AA, 12-step program, like one of the rules and not— but I will say when I first decided to go, my husband was like, well, how much is that going to cost? I'm like, well, a couple hours doesn't cost anything. Like, I just— I put a dollar in the basket, but like, doesn't— he goes, no, how much is it going to cost? How much do they want? And I'm like, No, it's not about that, but it is giving back. So, you know, I was the the greeter, the parking lot girl, the coffee maker. I'm still a greeter at a Zoom meeting. You know, thank goodness for Zoom. Sure, yeah. But something that saves your life, yeah, you get to keep it by sharing what you were given so free. Like for me, giving my life back and my freedom just to find joy and everything—that's like I want to give back and do what I can. So yeah, that's beautiful. Beautiful. I'm excited that you have an app coming out, and I love things that you can do for— to really— like, I have a My Spiritual Toolkit app that I use to like write down my gratitude list. So I want to know a little bit about your app because I think it's great for people to shift their mindset and just really strengthen their mindset. So can you tell us, or is it top secret?

No, no, it's a little bit about it. Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for asking. It's, it's called You're Okay Mental Fitness. It's a You're Okay Mental Fitness app. It's geared towards even, you know, as young as junior high and high school kids, but for adults alike. And it helps— they're going to hear me and the principles that I've learned. It's going to help people who struggle with anxiety, depression, addiction, if they're trying to find purpose in life, if they just need a pick-me-up, if they're feeling suicidal, they'll be able to check in. There'll be a weekly webinar with me every week with anyone that signs up on the app as part of it.

That's amazing.

It's gonna be amazing.

So what day of the week is the webinar? Is it prerecorded?

We're— no, it's gonna be live, and it's probably gonna be on a Thursday night. So, but we haven't, you know, got that, you know, set in stone yet. But if your listeners go to, uh, you're okay, y-o-u-r-e-o-k-a-y.com, You can go in and actually put your name and email in there and submit. And then once it goes live, you can be part of our beta team. And if you want, you don't have to, but it'll, it'll let you know when the launch comes out. And, and you'll get to know more about me on my website, which is toddinspires.com as well.

Oh my goodness, I want to be part of that beta team. Yeah, I want to get to connect with you on a weekly webinar. Are you kidding me?

That would be cool. I'd love to have you.

Yes, but am I going to be like sobbing, crying every time I talk to you. I don't know why I cry every time. Every time.

Well, no, you're kind. And I would love to have you be a part of this, Amberly, because again, I respect and love what you do and your words and your expertise in what you do. So yeah, if they want to check it out, you know, like I said, it'll be coming out, probably won't be until about June, maybe 1st of July. But we're going strong. And I can't wait. It's gonna be fun.

That's incredible. So you guys can check the show notes if you're driving or you're outside running, exercising, whatever it— this All the information will be in the show notes. But also, Todd, where can they like connect with you? Where do you hang out the most? And also, y'all listen to his podcast. He has got— I have to say something. Your podcast— I have done hundreds of podcast interviews and big ones too, big podcasts. Your podcast, I had more people reach out to me after I was on your podcast than any other podcast. I mean, so thank you. So tell them—

That means a lot.

Yeah, I'm not kidding. Like, more people reached out to me. So thank you for that. Tell people about your podcast, where they can listen, because you know what, this show, I really want to bring people on and share their stories of recovery and resilience and how they've had that struggle to success. But I also want to share like where else they can listen to amazing podcasts, because your podcast Podcast is like, you've got a huge following of people who just love you. So tell people where they can find your podcast and also where they can find both your books and sure, and where to follow you, where you hang out the most on social media.

Oh, thank you so much. Yes. Well, the podcast is, is successful because I have people like you on the show. Honestly, I've had, I've had such amazing guests on and You know, I'm on every major platform, you know, where you listen to your podcast. It's called Beliefcast, all one word, Beliefcast. You can also look it under my name, Todd Inspires, as well. It's on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, you know, all the major platforms. You can also go check out beliefcast.com and you can see all the guests. You'll be able to see Amberly's and listen to her podcast as well. It was amazing. And I have to admit too, I had so many people reach out to me. That was one of the best stories we've ever heard. And so that was amazing.

Thank you.

Um, on Instagram, I'm @tsinspires. So T for Todd, S for Sylvester, @tsinspires. You can DM me there, or you can check out my website at toddinspires.com. And then my books you can get on Amazon, and you can also get there from my website. But if you go to Amazon and just type in I Am Recovered, Or It's Time to Start Living. You can find those there.

You're amazing. I mean, seriously. And you've connected me with amazing people. And I actually first found you because my friend Tiff Peterson, who's in Salt Lake, I think was at your studio or something, and she posted it on your shoulder. And I was like, on your— on her story. And for some reason, I was like, who's this guy? And I just reached out to you on social media. I'm like, I want to know this guy. He's cool. And we connected, and now we're going to be friends for life. And hopefully I'll get to see you in person soon.

Yeah, I can't wait to meet you in person. And so I can't wait till you get up here. And yeah, Tiff Peterson, she's one of my favorite people. And I love her. You two remind me of each— you know, you guys are like similar in so many ways. Just amazing people.

Thank you. She sent me a gift yesterday. So cool. I'm gonna do this for somebody. She sent me like a bar— like a code to get a free tea or coffee or drink on her at like Starbucks. I'm like, that is the coolest thing ever. How'd you do that? So I'm like, she's always doing cool stuff. But yeah, I'm glad that I found you through her. And, um, yeah. But thank you for sharing your incredible, miraculous story, sharing us some tips on how to really shift our mindset with those affirmations, just creating that champion list of affirmations. I'm totally going to do that. And I'll hold your book up one more time, y'all. I Am Recovered. And, um, thank y'all for tuning in. I appreciate you tuning in to the podcast. And, you know, take a screenshot of this episode, whether you're listening on Apple or Spotify or you're watching on YouTube. Take a screenshot and tag us in your story, because when I see that, I share it in my story. So— I appreciate y'all listening in. Todd, thank you again for being here.

Thank you so much for having me, Amberly. You're amazing. Thank you so much.

Thank you, and I will see y'all next time.