Mindset Fitness Over Willpower with Ricky Mendez

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert and bestselling author. Each week, I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought leaders and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace.

Hey y'all, thank you for being here. I'm Amberly Lago with one of my really good friends, Ricky Mendez. Thank you for being here, you guys. Ricky believes in mindset fitness over willpower. He's an international speaker who is sought out and on huge stages and making huge impacts. He is impact. He's a consultant, a coach, He teaches simple and easy strategies to increase quality of life and business. And he teaches these methods so we can rise above the 2 biggest dream killers of them all, procrastination and negativity. He believes this can help us solve the world's happiness problem. This mindset allows us to take the willpower back over our life and business. And he's taught these strategies with global brands. I mean, Ricky's worked with Lululemon, Costco, Home Depot. And he's collaborated with some of the biggest thought leaders out there, Dan Fleischman, David Meltzer. You have worked with Tom and Lisa on Impact Theory. You have directed over half a billion dollars in sales and has been trusted to appoint key personnel to implement his sales and prosperity planning programs. And he attacks the issue of minimalist mindset by inviting people to change the way they think. Condition the mind and the body will follow. Amen to that. Ricky, thank you so much for being here. It's so good to see you, especially bright and early on a Tuesday morning.

Yeah, yeah. No, thank you. Huge Amberly fan as always.

So thank you. Oh, well, I am a huge fan of yours and I feel like we were destined to meet. And the way that we met was actually I was taking a flight. I was going to speak on this big stage. I was so nervous. And I also had an interview and I was nervous about that. And on the plane, I sat next to this lady who wasn't even supposed to be sitting next to me. We changed our seats and ended up sitting together. And we talked the entire flight. And her name's Alex. And she was like, you have to meet Ricky. And so she introduced us and we've been friends ever since. And I just love the impact that you're making on so many lives. But I have to say, especially women.

Thank you. Yeah.

I mean, but I wanted to ask you what got you, because so many people, they, I mean, I have so many people come up to me and they're like, I want to be a speaker. I want to make a difference. But you're truly doing that. What is it in you that inspired you to do what you do? What is your big why? Because Good Lord. It's tough being an entrepreneur and it really takes a lot of grit. So I want to talk, go backtrack a little bit to why you got into speaking and coaching, kind of where you were and where you are now. Because sometimes it looks easy on the internet, especially when you're with these big thought leaders and you're doing big things and on big stages. Where, how did you start from a starting point to doing all these big things that you're doing?

Yeah, I, so we, I was a CEO of a home energy company. So we just, we did things like solar and home and heating, air conditioning and roofing, made your home green. And we just did a wellness event for fun. And it was like, it was really no agenda. I spoke on mindset a little bit. A woman came up to me after and she kind of confided in me. I didn't know who this person was. And, uh, she actually asked me to coach her husband. She was like, can you coach my husband? And I was like, um, I didn't do it at the time. I just, it was just for fun. And I said, look, I'm not married. I don't have kids. She had a 3 and a 6-year-old at the time. I was like, what's the challenge? What's going on? And she shared something with me and I gave her one thing to implement. And she said that it changed the whole dynamic of her mornings, the energy with her children, the energy of all of it. I quit my job like 10 days after that. That's kind of how I got started. I was like, I don't, and I was making a really comfortable, comfortable living. And I went, I was like, I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm going to find out. But I made nothing for 7 or 8 months and just did free events and said, look, if you learn something that increases quality of life, can you please refer me? So that's how I started getting into this. And then regarding women, I was at a World's Greatest Motivators with David Meltzer. Um, some of my biggest mentors, John Assaraf, Bob Proctor, Les Brown, Dave, and, uh, Shanda Sumpter said one thing that hit me like right between the eyes. And she was like, I actually believe I can change the world. And I genuinely believe that if John, Jack, Dave, one of them had said that, it wouldn't have hit me the same way. 'Cause I just, you hear it from women less, 'cause there's just less of you guys.

Mm-hmm.

And there's a masculine and feminine energy to all of it. And some of that helps me step into a feminine part that helps me have understanding and empathy and patience and a lot of these different things that I think helped me a lot. So that was like, man, that was something where it was like, So I think the world is just starving for more of that women empowerment and more of you guys.

Well, thank you. You know, and there are so many strong women out there, and I have noticed the same thing. I was actually speaking at an event and it was all about transformation and evolving. The female speakers they had, Lisa was actually there, um, from Impact Theory, and Mel Robbins was there. I was one of the speakers and they had a panel. And after, you know, we each got our chance on stage in the panel, there was not one female on the panel. And so I went to the event planner. I was like, you know, I love this event. You're doing great things. I'm grateful to be a part of this event. But do you think maybe you could consider having a female on the panel next time? If so, I would love to be on that panel. So from that, not that I caused this, but maybe I did.

I don't know.

They actually went and had a whole event just for females after that. But I would love to see an event with male and female and just collaborating and stepping up shoulder to shoulder doing things together. But I appreciate all you do to get women's voices out there. I mean, I'm so grateful to you, Ricky, because you just invited me to speak at Dan Flashman's mastermind, which I want to talk to you about that a little bit too. But before I forget, I also wanted to tell you that I talked to my mom on the phone this morning. And there's a really bad snowstorm. It's like crazy in Texas right now.

Mm-hmm.

And my sister's in the hospital. She's having her baby. They had to induce her. And she's having the baby like 5 weeks early. And the doctor said, you know, she's having a boy. So we'll have to keep him a little bit longer. If she were having a girl, we could probably send her home because for some reason, girls are just stronger than boys when they're first born. They're fighters. And I was like, well, that's what the doctor said. And I said, Mom, I'm totally going to tell Ricky that on the podcast today.

Nice.

Yeah. Isn't that interesting though? I was like, wow.

Just, it's perspectives too. Like one thing I know hands down in my life is just every time I've shared a perspective, whether I agree or disagree, it's, it's broadened me. It's, it's It's allowed me to grow. So just a perspective of different people, you know, whether it's man, woman, or, you know, even child. I always say I want to learn— for me, learning from more women and more kids.

Oh yeah.

It's something that just when I get a new perspective, you're never the same person. So that's one thing that's had a huge impact in the last, call it, I don't know, 6, 12, 18, 24 months of my life for sure.

Yeah, I think it is. We can learn so much from every situation that we're in. And it is so much about our perspective. I just did an interview with Damon West. And I'm not sure if you know who he is, but he was sentenced to life. And he was in a jail cell for years, for 10 years. And he said, you know, the sad thing is that there are people that are not locked up and they're in the prison of their mind. And it's so true. It's not necessarily our circumstances or what has happened or what we're going through, but it's how we view it. So there are a lot of people right now that are feeling stuck or suffocated or, I mean, you and I are both in California and it's a lot, you know, there's still things starting to open back up. I'm starting to see that there's progress and there's, it gives me hope. But what would you suggest to someone who is feeling Yeah.

First, I, for me, I look at the brain and Jon Assaraf's a huge mentor of mine. So one, we know that the brain is meant to keep us safe and conserve energy. That's its major function. So it's constantly looking for things, you know, to keep us safe. So it's kind of searches for negativity. For me, just that understanding is like, okay, I can sit back and I can have that awareness. Now I can choose a different perspective.

Yeah.

And so I think that's the first thing. So for me, it just kind of like, it slows the game down a little bit. And then I just go to simple, simple, I call it simplistic beauty, just simple gratitude. And not from a positive thinking standpoint, from a like, oh shit, I'm alive standpoint. You know? And that's one thing, I don't know what, I think it's like 1 in 400 trillion to be born, but just simply this, like I got one of these, like I woke up today, I can do great things today. You know, there were people that had goals and dreams yesterday that didn't make it till today. So what do I get to do? I get to try to live an empowered life or intend to live an empowered life surrounded by positive people. When I'm in that arena, then what is it that I want to do? And whatever I want to do, chances are somebody on the planet has done it before. That means it's possible.

Mm-hmm.

So now I start to live in a world of possibility. I start to live in a world of potential. I start to live in a world of excitement and empowerment. And for me, it just stems from like, okay, I'm panicking right now. I'm being scared for whatever reason. It's just my brain having this neurochemical experience. Wait a minute. Oh, I'm alive. I'm a walking freaking miracle. I can actually do great things. And then I can activate one of the greatest skills on the planet, which is asking for help. So just that, that kind of almost like little reset. And sometimes you're hitting that reset button a lot. And sometimes you're in the flow. And it's kind of like that give and take. You're never quite there, but you're always evolving is how I look at it.

You said such great nuggets that I want to go back to right now. I mean, first of all, Yes, we are all— it's a miracle that we're alive. And on some days when it's hard to get grateful, I have to do, uh, like simply go, I'm alive and I can walk. I can get out of bed. Because for a long time, I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't walk. And so just focusing on the miracle that— I believe in miracles. I believe that, um, anything is possible. The gratitude is huge. I believe that's alchemy. But something that you said You look at other people, there's someone else that's probably done it before, and that means it's possible. Okay, well, a lot of times people get caught up in the comparison and they're like, oh, it's already been done. Well, I could never do that. Or look how much better they are. Well, of course they did it. I can't do it. But you look at it with a mindset of abundance, like, okay, they did it, so it's possible. So it's not a comparison thing in a bad way. It's like, You use it as like a way to inspire you and motivate you to, oh, they did it. I can do it too. And that's how I like to look at things too. In fact, and you said, uh, ask for help, which is huge, and surround yourself with positive people. And those things are golden. If you can just fill your day with those things right there, your life is going to change. Now, a lot of times people have a hard time asking for help. Was that something that came easily for you, or I mean I just would like to know the perspective from a man because for me it was kind of hard to ask for help. In fact, it was really hard. I felt like it made me look less than or weak or not capable, but I realized that perspective shift of it looks it shows that I respect someone. Enough to ask them for help and that I want to get better. But was it hard for you to ask for help?

Yeah, it is a skill, you know, and I do want to touch on that because I know some people oftentimes, you know, comparison, just let me step back on that. Comparison is the thief of joy, and that is absolutely right if I compare myself and say, woe is me. But there is also inspirational dissatisfaction where I can look at somebody and like, man, if he can do it, so can I. If she can do it, so can I. And I'll give you a perfect example. A dear friend and mentor, Tom Bilyeu. If we had hung out in 2007 or '08, I would have taken Tom out to dinner. Like, I would have paid for the drinks. 10 years later, he's a billionaire. I'm still relatively in the same income or impact stage. So now I'm looking at— I'm like, if he can do it, so can I.

Mm-hmm.

And that's one of the things that leads me to asking for a lot of help. So I think— and asking for help for me is a skill. It's just simply a skill and I'm always working on it. Where it came from was—

You are skilled at that, by the way, because I want to get into the story about you and Tom.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And Dave Meltzer told me to ask for help. Ask and attract. And I, I kind of had to dive into it because I gave up a very, very, um, mid-six-figure, high-six-figure, into the seven-figure comp plan to make nothing. So, and I didn't— I, I don't have many expenses. So I went from making good money, relatively good money, to spending nothing, and then to spending a ton and making— so I had to ask for help. And I was like, there's no way I'm going to go on. I want people to share with me exactly what they've done in this space. And I'm just a follow the yellow brick road type of guy. Tell me what to do. I'm going to do it because I trust the people that are giving me this guidance. Dave's called it ask and attract. So I call it ask and attract. And I just started calling up people and said, do you know of anybody Looking for this or that, or could you come to my free event? Give me feedback. Number one, fill out an evaluation card. If you learned something, increased quality of life, would you mind sharing it with somebody? And I just made a really good skill with that. And just like anything else, I kept asking and kept asking. I got better at it and better at it and realized that it didn't come from weakness. It came from strength. Because we have a choice. I can go down a road and try to do all myself and pay all the tax, all the dummy tax, or I can go down and say, hey, Where the people that I trust, what do you think of this? Or can you help me? Or have you done this? Or do you have experience in this? And the latter is so much more fun. It's so much more efficient. And then I get to do that for somebody else. So it's so much more fulfilling.

And, you know, that asking for help, I will never forget when I published my book and I had another friend that I connected with that had a book published around the same time. And she had like double the book reviews on Amazon. And, you know, Those reviews really help people whether they're going to buy the book or not. And they help tell people what they're going to get out of the book. And it's so much more. You can tell people about it all you want, but when they hear from other people who have read it, it's more meaningful. They listen more. And I remember asking her, I was like, oh my gosh, I said, you have so many book reviews. How did you do that? She goes, I asked. And I was like, oh, I didn't ask. I never asked anybody. I don't know. I was like, oh, I don't want to ask them to leave me a review. And then I just started asking. It was the same for when I interviewed Trent Shelton for the podcast. And I was like, dude, Trent, you don't even have your first podcast episode up yet. You just have the trailer and you have like 1,200 reviews on Apple. And again, reviews are what people look at and whether or not they're going to listen to your show, whether or not they're going to be a guest on your show. And he's like, I asked. And I'm like, oh.

Oh, gotcha.

So everybody leave a review right now. Just click down. Let me know what you think of the show. But yeah, that is powerful. And by the way, I love David Meltzer. He's been on the show. I'm actually Going on an Instagram Live with him next week, and I was on the Clubhouse virtual stage with him. And talk about a big heart! He and I can tell he really loves you. And all the videos that I've seen him talking about you and what you've done together, you can see the respect he has. So I'm glad that it's called. What did he call it? The Ask and Ask and Attract. Ask and attract. Ask and attract. That's going to be my mantra. I love it. Yeah. Well, do you ever struggle with limiting beliefs?

All the time. Every day.

Okay, that makes me feel better because—

It was so funny too. Like, I know we're both big Heather fans, and, um, she did a talk for the 100 Mil Academy too, and somebody had asked What do you do if you don't really ever feel vulnerable? And both of us were like, dude, come on. It was like, you're not facing the music. I mean, everybody does, whether they admit it or not, know it or not, like it or not, who knows. But every day, every single day, for me, it's a constant, like, growth period. I want to keep growing. There are going to be things that I'm not good at now that I can learn a skill to just continue to try to learn and be the learner. And that helps me get to where I want to go. But in order to get there, I gotta stare at my inadequacies. I gotta stare where I'm not good at.

It's hard.

It's, it's challenging. And then you do it again and again. And I feel like if we keep on that path, it gets less scary and less scary and less scary. Or whether I never address it, then it becomes this big, this big monster. So yeah, limiting beliefs for sure. And especially when you're starting a business, you know. You know, can I, can I get on the stages of the $5,000? You know, can a speaking fee get into the $50,000 into $70,000 much? Can, can I do some of this?

Oh my gosh, Ricky, when I first started speaking, I was like, can I get paid to do this? Can I get anything? Because, well, that's what I want to talk about. I mean, when I first started, I was doing talks for anybody who would have me. I was speaking in the coffee shops and you know, recovery houses and institutions and doctors' clinics and networking events and the Chamber of Commerce. And I mean, anybody who would have me and doing it for free for so long. And so yeah, that like to get up on a big stage and finally get paid. I remember when I first got my first big check for speaking. And the first thing I did was I showed it to my husband because he has been patient with me. Like—

Awesome.

You know, going through the process, he saw how hard I've worked and done so much for free. But it's all, it's the path of learning and growing and making connections and collaborations. And so it makes, I'm glad you say that you sometimes have limiting beliefs too, because I do every day and I really have to like talk to myself instead of listen to the limiting beliefs. Because they'll tell me, oh, you can't do that, girl. I mean, all the time. So what do you do to nip that in the bud?

Yeah.

I mean, the first thing, literally I'm looking at it in front of me and I have a wall. Everything around me is meant to make me smile, make me laugh, make me— remind me of where I want to go, remind me of the greatness I have within me, remind me of my potential, remind me of my possibility, all that. So right in front of me, I literally have WWYMD, and I have pictures of all of my biggest mentors. So it's like, what would your mentor do? So when that limiting belief comes, for example, Tom's in front of me. Tom always says, you know, where do you want to go? What's the price you're willing to pay to get there? Okay, well, this is the price right now. This limiting belief, this feeling of vulnerability, this feeling of shortcoming. This is the price. If I want to get to where I want to go, I got to deal with what I'm dealing with right now.

Mm-hmm.

So for me, again, it kind of slows the game down a little bit. And now I don't become so reactionary. I become responsive. Okay. I have greatness within me. Les Brown is up there. I got this. I can do this. I can, I can, I can, I can, I can. So it's just that kind of little— I'm more of an implement guy than a motivational guy, because I want people to implement to create the motivation, not be motivated and then just excited. So I think of things right then and there, simple things that I can actually do. One of my little hacks is on our phone. We all have an Android or an iPhone, and I have an album in there that simply says, I am great. And then anytime somebody thanks me, anytime somebody says, hey, that was a great talk, anybody, anything that makes me feel good, I screenshot it. I put it in that album. So now when I get a crap storm or a shitstorm, or I'm feeling down, or I'm going through this limiting belief or whatever, I have a tangible tool that I can look at. I can literally read now neurochemically, biochemically. I'm having a completely different experience now. I can get back on the path where I wanted to go. So I have a bunch of little hacks like that, but I'm surrounded by things that remind me. And it's funny because people, when they don't have that, I'm like, man, how do you deal with it? You know, you must be much better at it than I am if you don't, because I feel like I have help. I plant help everywhere. To help me get through those so I can continue on the path that I want to go on.

Oh, I love that. I have, you got this, above my office. My business cards even say, you got this. But I love the idea of taking a screenshot and having a folder with all those things in there. That is brilliant. I am totally going to do that. I mean, I have like testimonials saved, or I have screenshotted like messages, DMs. that people have sent me. And again, as you know, I'm working with Lightspeed and we're building out my platform. And he said, do you have any video testimonials? And I had to ask for help from some of the people who have DM'd me and said, you've changed my life. I didn't do anything for 5 years. I didn't even realize how depressed I was. And so I reached out to those people. And I was like, do you think that you could send a video over? And it was hard for me, you know, but I'm like truly grateful that every single one of them that I asked, they said yes. You know, but, and I also like that you talk about implement. And I was just on Clubhouse, on one of the Clubhouse stages with Sharon Lechter.

Hmm.

And she said, I like to use the word inspirational speaker instead of motivational speaker because motivation comes from outside of you and the inspiration comes from within and the things that you implement, like you talk about. And I believe that's so true. And I'm happy that you share that as successful as you are, I mean, God, you're doing amazing things, but you have these things that help you along the way and that you're human. And that you do have those limiting beliefs sometimes. Because I know, I know I sure do. And then let me ask you something else. Do you ever feel like when you've done either a talk or an interview or something where you get in your head and you're like, oh gosh, I should have said this, or I should— you start shoulding yourself?

Yeah.

You know, like shoulda, shoulda, shoulda. Do you ever do that?

Yeah, all the time.

You do? Well, how do you get out of that? Because let me tell you, after I did Dan Fleischman's mastermind, I talked on there, I was beating myself up, Ricky. I was just like, oh my gosh, that was such a long day and I was in so much pain and my brain was foggy. I should have just asked if I could reschedule. Like, I was like, that was terrible. I should have said that.

Why did I—

I was in my head and I was like, Let it go, Amberly. Let it go. It was like crazy. So you do that sometimes?

Yeah, all the time. All the time. For me, again, it's like it all comes back to slowing the game down and knowing that my brain in some ways is trying to play, you know, tricks on me. It's trying to tell me, you know, sometimes that I'm not good enough or I should have done this or I should have done that. And I'll give you a perfect example. So I didn't have that one thought for one second About, uh, on the 100 Mil Mastermind experience that you did.

Oh, thank you.

When we, when we do that, like, sometimes our brain will play horror stories, you know, and we just keep playing again, playing it again, playing again. So I, for me personally, I always say like, look, whatever I'm thinking, it's 100 times worse in my head than what I think it is. And then 2, I'm glad that I did it, you know, whether that's really true or not.

I'm gonna try to say Yeah, that's actually what I tell myself too. I'm like, I did it. Yeah. Yeah.

And I think, you know, I don't know what that saying is, but, you know, done imperfectly is better than done perfectly, or whatever it is. But that's half the time is just taking these next steps and, you know, learning from it. You know, if there's something I can— if I can learn from it, you know, what's the other saying? It's not failure don't make you a failure. It's quitting that makes you a failure. So when I go through something or I did something or I should have done this or I should have done that, well, then I can learn from it. If I learn from it or make an adjustment, it's a win. It's a total win.

Yeah. And it is every experience, especially the ones where I've screwed up. It is such an incredible learning experience. I mean, you don't forget the things when COVID hit and we first started with the whole virtual speaking and everything.

I—

boy, did I learn from mistakes. You know, I, I showed up to speak at this one event and I thought I was going to see people's faces and it was just a screen and all I could see was my face, which is like the worst. Like, I'm like, I don't want to look at me and talk to me. It's the worst. And then my slides didn't work and I thank goodness I knew what I was going to share. And I was like, you know what, what I learned from that experience is to show up, get out of my head, stay in my heart. Don't try to be like somebody else. If I'm not good at slides, then don't try to create these fancy slides and use them for your first virtual presentation. You know, I'm used to having slides on the stage and I've got a clicker and they've got tech people who set it all up for you. And so I've learned a lot, and it is constantly jumping out of your comfort zone and asking big time, asking for help. Now, one of the questions I get a lot, and you probably get this all the time too, is I have people say, well, I want to be a speaker. How do I start? What would you suggest for people who are like, I want to be a speaker. How do I start?

Yeah, absolutely. I always share you don't need a stage. You don't need an audience. You need one, you need you and a mirror, in my opinion, to have an event. So, and then whatever the impact that you want to have on the world, what's the lesson that you can share that increases quality of life? So, what is it that you've gone through? What's your message? What's a story that can share that message? I'll give you an example. So, the reason why I got so, so, so into gratitude is because Number one, when we— when I started looking about the brain and how it's supposed to keep us safe and conserve energy, I was like, okay, now I can really start to dictate what I think. It's the— I think it's the one thing that we have control over is what we're thinking about. That's going to dictate to— that's going to lead to an emotional state. So the thing that drove me up the wall was on a red-eye flight going from LA to New York or LA to Boston or something like that. I always— I can sleep really well on a plane. I'm always in the aisle. I got my neck pillow and they dim the lights down. and then a screaming baby goes wailing behind my ear. Like, that drove me, like, to the point where I was like, somebody shut that baby up or I am going to shut it up. And it is like I almost apologize to people who have kids because, like, it drove me nuts.

But you know what? I know for me, it makes me really anxious because I want to do something to help the baby. So, it sets off some, like, primal, like, fight or flight thing. But I get it. I totally get it.

And when I learned about that, this is where a whole gratitude poem came in that I wrote. I said, I am grateful. Period. For the screaming baby on the plane, period. Because it means that I can hear, period. And it completely changed perspective on it. So I share that story and I love talking about neuroscience and all that stuff. And that's the number one thing, that gratitude poem is the number one thing I get asked about all over the world. So that's the lesson, but that's the story that I tell. So what's the lesson? What's the impact that you feel you can bring? What's a story that you can share? And then share it, share it with anybody. Whether it's one person, whether it's you in a mirror, share it with anybody. So I think we get caught up, especially in social media today. Oh, we need a stage. We need followers. We need this. We need that before I can do anything. I think it's the inverse. Do it by yourself in a mirror and share something or write down a talk and share it with your family and friends or whatever. I think that's a start to a speaking career. That's how I started anyway. Yeah.

And you know what? That's so true. I remember when I first got started speaking on bigger stages. One of my first big events, I was sharing the stage with Trent Shelton, who I love. I love Trent. Afterwards, someone had come up to me, like a huge thought leader. And they called me after the event was over. And they're like, hey, we have an opportunity for you. We want you to be a part of our mastermind. Some of, you know, Trent, a lot of other people they got their start because they were in our mastermind. And you'll really be set up to be on bigger stages. And I was like, okay, cool. How much? And they're like, $30,000. And I was like, $30,000? And I thought about it for a second. My husband was like, are you freaking crazy? And because I was just starting out. So I actually called Trent. Talk about asking for help. I called Trent and I was like, hey Trent, can I talk to you for a minute? This person told me you got your start like this, blah, blah. He said, Amberly, no. He goes, I got my start by doing exactly what you're doing. He said, I started and I had a few followers, then a few more. I just kept putting my message out there. You don't have to spend a ton of money to do that. But look, I'm a big believer in masterminds, and I actually wish I could have done that mastermind. But you don't have to be a part of a mastermind or a part— you do exactly what Ricky's saying. You just start. But the connections and the collaborations along the way, I feel like, is what grows your business. If you can start surrounding yourself, like really level up who you're surrounding yourself with, take a look at who you're following. on social media. I mean, not just who you're hanging out with, but who you're following on social media. And now who you're going into the rooms on Clubhouse with. Are you on Clubhouse?

Yep. Yep.

So I have to ask, how often are you on Clubhouse?

I would say probably a couple times a week. I'll jump in a room or either I'll be speaking in it or something like that. And 3 hours goes like that. Right?

That's the thing.

It's like Yeah, so sometimes I use it like as like talk radio where it's on my desk, or if I'm actually talking in the room. So, but I'd say 2 to 3 times a week, something like that, I'll pop in for a little bit.

Yeah, I've got a room. I'd love for you to come to the room on Fridays if you can at 8 o'clock in the morning. We have a room called Be Unstoppable with Grit and Grace, and it's— at first I was like, oh, an hour? That was like— went by quick. Hour and a half. So last week we decided we're going to make it 2 hours. And it's powerful though, because we get to hear so many like tools and tips on how to be unstoppable. But you're right, it goes by so quick.

Yeah, like an hour keynote, it's like a long, a good keynote, but then you're on Clubhouse for like 3 hours because there's so many people and people have good things to share too, you know?

Yeah, it's I know. It can be very addictive though. It's kind of like take a hit of dopamine. You're like, oh, that was good. Ooh, that's good. Let me stay for more. Let me— and it's like, whoo, got to set some healthy boundaries on that. Well, how are you building your business right now with COVID What are some of the things, the tips and tools that you're using to, you know, increase your, well, your money and just make money and doing to really get your brand out there more? What are some of the things you're doing?

Yeah. So number one, asking for help. This is year 3 and a half for me. So I had built everything from word of mouth. So I think this is the year that I'm actually going to start like investing in something to help. I'm a complete novice at social media. I don't know social media. That is something where I need help.

Your Instagram is amazing. I follow you on Instagram and your YouTube channel. You've got like thousands of followers on YouTube.

Thanks. I'm going to partner with somebody now that believes in my message and we're doing some rev shares and things like that. So I'm excited for that because I do want to be able to grow that. What was great was right when COVID happened, it was an easy pivot for me. And I think 2020 and 2021 is the greatest time in human history to be alive, because I don't think we'll ever have another time where we can acquire skills like we have an opportunity to do that, expand our minds to what's possible in life, but also business. But the greatest thing For me has been growing relationship capital. I have been able to do some things with people, no chance I would have even been able to talk to if it weren't for COVID. The virtual event, and it opened up—

I think Clubhouse is allowing that too.

Yeah, absolutely.

Crazy. I did a room with Vera Wang. Nice.

That's awesome.

Who would have thought?

A huge advantage. The virtual stuff happened quick and that opened up 2 health and wellness streams that I didn't have before. So all of these things now, when the world, whenever it does get back to normal, I have some additional streams plus a little bit more exposure, you know.

So what are the health and wellness ones?

So I'm a bona fide water snob.

Are you?

I watched about 30 hours of water webinars. My mom has a PhD in biology. My dad's an engineer. And I've looked at water machines all over the world and molecular hydrogen. So I'm somebody who measures the pH of my body, the acidity and the alkalinity.

Oh, I need to do that.

I have a drastic before and after picture. So I used to be about 260. Whenever I show this, I give a keynote called Utopic Health, and whenever I show my before and after on stage, I get a lot of gasps. And sometimes when I am, you know, a few hundred people, 1,000 people, a lot of people are like, oh, gross. So it is pretty funny.

Do you know what makes me laugh? My daughter, I did a before and after like a transformational picture and a video or something on social media. And my 12-year-old was like, Mom, you really need to do like a trigger warning before you show yourself. And I'm like, what does that mean? She goes, people really are gonna have— I mean, people could really— it's a trigger. It's a trigger for people. Your mom, Mom, your leg is a trigger. And I was like, oh, wow. So yeah, I totally get it.

Like the gasp, like, Yeah, yeah, that was so— I, yeah, that was— I was around 255, 258, something like that. I was like a middleweight.

And look at you now, stud.

Thanks. Um, but yeah, when, when I learned about just simple things, the acidity, the alkalinity, and how your body doesn't need to hold on to fat if your body becomes slightly alkaline, but actual alkalinity, not, um, you know, marketers are genius and there's lots of different misinformation out there. But, um, that wouldn't have happened if I didn't If this didn't happen in the virtual world and I didn't go down that rabbit hole and, and all those things.

So, so do you have the machine that you drink that water?

Yep. Yeah, I'm getting a sec. So I noticed a big difference from when I was traveling and when I got back home. So I'm getting it whenever the world opens up. I'm gonna get a second one to travel with. Yeah.

Really? So I need to stop drinking the tap water?

That's a whole conversation. But when I—

okay.

And I mean, when you look at the tap, you know, there's, depending on where you're at, chlorine, ammonia, fluoride, heart medications, antidepressants, everything that we take is now in the tap. Yeah, it's— there was a reason why I was like, this took 11 months for me. This was no joke.

Wow.

I talked to a couple different PhDs and a couple different water experts and things like that.

Really?

When you dive down the rabbit hole, it's, it's one of those rabbit holes that you just keep going and going and going because you can't believe some of the stuff that Okay, we need to do a whole podcast just on that. I love the topic. So it's been a huge factor in my life for sure.

Yeah. So I had a friend years ago when my daughter was in kindergarten, and I had just had another surgery. I think I was on like number surgery number like 26 or something at the time. And he showed me this water machine and wanted me to start drinking that water. And it was really expensive. And at the time, I wasn't working like I am now and I couldn't afford it. Are those machines pretty expensive?

You can finance them. Um, some you can finance for as low as $20 a month. Some you can finance for as much as $180 a month. The machine will range between probably $1,900, $4,900, something like that. I always look at, well, what's the expense? People get their water from tap delivery or bottled. That's a contract for life. No matter what, I'm either paying for that or drinking that for the rest of my life. So for me personally, my journey was like, it's expensive for me personally not to have it.

Oh, good way to look at it. Again, that perspective pays off, you know.

And it came from that, like, it was way more than I ever thought I'd pay for a machine. So whenever I want to do something, I try to shift the perspective. Like when I bought my first house, I couldn't afford my first— I bought this house when it was stated assets, stated income, for those of you who remember that, and everybody thought I was crazy. So what I did was I broke up the 30-year mortgage. I figured I'm going to refi at some point. So I put another 60 years on top of that and then I broke it down per year, per month, and then per day. So I looked at the per day expense over 60 and then another refi. So it was like over 70 years of the per day. That's how I was like, oh, I can, I can afford that.

Yeah. I think it's really important to look at the per day. And that's what I did too. When I bought my, I was a single mom and before I got married to my husband now, single mom. And my business was taking off. But I bought my first house on my own, my daughter and I. And I remember my grandfather came to visit and he was like, Amberly, do you realize for the price of this in Texas, you could get a ranch and all the horses to go on it? And it was like a— it was a nice, but it was a 1,700-square-foot house, you know, wasn't like huge. But the cost of living in California is so much more. But I looked at how much I made every day and how much it cost me to live there. And I knew how much I had to make every day in order to live there. And then I grew and grew and grew. But I offline would love to talk to you about the water too because I think it would be good. I think it's a sign. There are no coincidences.

Yeah.

And you know what? You made me think of something else. And I know we're running out of time. But up one more thing you made me think about. When something is important to you, you find a way to have it or to do it.

Mm-hmm.

So for me, it was very important to me to be able to make a bigger impact. And I couldn't do it one-on-one anymore. And I was like, how can I keep helping people and inspiring them not to give up? And that's why I went to work with Lightspeed. And it's Very expensive.

Mm-hmm.

Like crazy expensive. I'm just gonna say, I mean, it's good and it's quality and I trust them, but I found a way. I'm finding a way to make that happen. And just like you look at your, your health and the water, you're like, yeah, this is expensive, but it's my health and it's important to me. So I'm gonna find a way to make it happen. And I think it's that way. in business, if you want to— I've always had a mentor or a coach because they help you get from point A to point B faster. You don't have to make all the big failures or mistakes, and it helps to have some guidance, and you don't have to reinvent the wheel. And so if it's important to you, you find a way to make the money to get into their coaching program. So how can people work with you? Because I love your mindset strategies, your positivity. Your energy is contagious, y'all. Just, I hope you can listen to this on the podcast. But if you want to head over, if you are listening to YouTube, you can see how his smile, your smile. I really, this morning, got up really early. And I, it made me smile just knowing that I was going to get to see your face and talk to you because You're the kind of person that every time I get to spend time with you, I always feel better. You just have that effect on people. You leave people feeling better than they did before. So how can people work with you?

Yeah, and I, I just, I want to touch on what you said was so important was, my goodness, like, we want to talk about pandemics and limiting beliefs. Let's talk about negativity. Let's talk about the I can't, I can't afford it, I can't do this, I can't do that. So, a great question just to change that perspective is how can I afford it? You know, and I think a lot of synergies that we have of things of like, wow, first we look at one spot, our bank account, and say, oh, I can't afford it, instead of just saying, hey, what are my resources here? What is my resourcefulness and how can I afford it? So, that has helped me on scales of thousands or hundreds of thousands and even in the 7 figures.

That is powerful, though. Like instead of focusing, and one little word, changing one word, Is— makes all the difference.

Yeah, you know, searching for what that perspective is that works for me. Maybe that works for somebody else, but finding what works for you and how to just shift that negative energy into the positive energy.

But even I have to and I get to is a big difference.

100%.

Like, I have to go to the store, I get to go to the store.

Yeah, all these little things that we learn, you know, life doesn't happen to you, it happens for all these. If we do All of these things over a long scale, it doesn't have to be 50 times a day, but if we just make a habit of these little things, they're cumulative. They add up over the day, over the week, over the month, over the year, over your life. Um, so it's kind of just being mindful and awareness, having awareness of that, of like, look, I can choose a freaking different perspective here. That one that serves me, one that empowers me, one that makes me feel good. And it gets addictive. But yeah, I, anybody that the number one thing I always say when I'm working with people, I bet there are synergies. So Where people want to look at me for coaching or speaking or consulting, I wear a few different hats in that arena and just reach out. My email is ricky@rickymendez.com. Instagram is Ricky Mendez Speaks. My phone number is area code 978-886-0043. That's my actual cell. But feel free to reach out and have a conversation.

Wow, thank you. And yeah, you do consulting for big companies. And by the way, I stalked you and I watched all your testimonials too, and I'm like, dang, this man's good.

Thanks.

Yeah, I mean, I, I'm just amazed at all you're, you're doing. And thank you for your generosity and spending time with us and offering your phone number. Y'all reach out to him, follow him on Instagram, and you will see what I'm talking about. I think your last picture on Instagram is just like you would. It's grateful, and you've got like your arms out. And so you can feel, you can feel your energy even through the screen. And, you know, I'm grateful for you. You're always lifting women up. You're always the kind of person who's like, how can I help that person? How can I, you know? And that's what it's all about. Like, you know what I mean? And so I'm, I'm so grateful for you. Thank you for being on the show and just giving us these Like abundant mindset hacks and all that you do. I just really appreciate you.

Absolutely. Thanks, Amberly. Honored. And, uh, yeah, I'm just, you know, I'm a huge Amberly fan. So anytime. Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Thanks so much for joining us this week on True Grit and Grace Podcast. If you liked If you like it, please rate it or share it with your friends.

That would help too.

If you're not yet on the newsletter list, come over to amberlylago.com and jump on it. While you're there, you can grab a free downloadable gratitude journal, and you might just want to check out my book or even check out my monthly motivational membership. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next week.

Bye.