Navigating Fear and Embracing Abundance with Arjun Dhingra

Welcome to the Amberly Lago Show, stories of true grit and grace. Hey, thank you so much for tuning in to the Amberly Lago Show. Today I have my good friend here with us. He is, gosh, someone who doesn't just talk about success. He lives it with intention, integrity, and a powerful mission to help others do the same. Arjun Dingra is— Dingra, I always have a hard time saying that. I guess I just—

Okay, you just don't know too many Dingras. That's all right.

Y'all, he is, despite like, I mean, he's got so much luminous success. He is the guru that everybody goes to when they want to know about mortgages and mindset, especially around money. And I know there's a lot of fear out there right now with tariffs and change and uncertainty. And he is here to help us move and navigate through those fears. But despite all those luminous accomplishments, being a podcast host, a speaker, he speaks all over the world, he has his own events, he has a community, the LFG community, and he is a taekwondo black belt. Not only that, a champion, and he was the head coach. So I want to get into not just mindset, but overcoming fears. And also, I just wanna say that I think you should be mayor of San Francisco. Arjun, have you thought about running for mayor? Because I swear, every time I hear you talk, I'm like, you need to be mayor of San Francisco.

No, this town wouldn't be able to handle me, Amberly. I'd be the first mayor assassination in US history, unless there's been one. But no, it's funny you say it because politics and policy and governing is something that I've always been fascinated by. In fact, before I got into the mortgage space, I worked for a government relations firm. My boss there took a real big chance on me as a college intern to give me that job. And it was one of the best opportunities of my life. I'm still close to him. He's a mortgage client of mine. We talk once a week. I love and admire the man so much. But no, I don't think there's a future for me in any sort of politics. I like staying in the personal finance and involvement and growth space. for now. But no, we have a good— a new mayor here in San Francisco, and he's doing a really, really good job. In fact, I've got some content I'm recording this afternoon, ironically, about his accomplishments in his first 100-plus days. But he's kicking ass and taking names and trying to bring this city back. So, I'm proud of him.

Well, I was so honored, and I have to say a huge, huge thanks to you because I had the opportunity to speak at your Better Human Project. You had this event. I hope you do those events again. That was a magical, transformational room. You held your event in San Francisco, and David Meltzer and I got to be a part of it.

Yes.

And it was amazing. And I had just found out the day before that my book made USA Today bestseller. And I hadn't even really thought about it because I was just like, I found out and then literally got in the Uber to go drive to you, get, you know, get, get on the plane and get to San Francisco. And I have to just say thank you for making that such a special moment for me because, y'all, he goes all out. You had a driver pick me up. And then at the event, you had my book. You bought a book for every attendee and it was a jam-packed room. But not only that, like you had books set out, you did this big screen and you really made my— that was my, honestly, my favorite part of my whole book launch was getting to be there with you and your community. And so I so appreciate that. I will always treasure those memories. And I have so many great pictures from that. But you truly are one of these people that you are one of the best humans I have ever, ever met. It's not just like you're this successful entrepreneur and leader and speaking at all these amazing events. Like, you so genuinely care about people. And it shows because those are the people that came to your event. Every single person was just Incredible. Do you think you're going to do another Better Human Project?

Yeah. No, and like, to your point, and those are very kind words, Amberly, so thank you. But thank you first and foremost for agreeing to be part of it when I reached out to you at the time. And I feel like it was just fate how it all lined up. You know, we wanted to do an event because I do a lot of business-facing events for the industry, the real estate industry and the finance industry. And I thought, you know what? Everyone's focused on business and tactics and do this and do that and X's and O's execute execute. But unless you're good here and you're good here, none of that matters, right? It's all it's all just smoke and mirrors, and it's temporary. It's not lasting. So I thought, you know what? Let's do something that's going to focus on us as humans. And the name or you know the title Better Human Project popped in my mind, and it is absolutely going to be a regular thing every February. Very similar format, but it just came together. And this is why I knew it was the right event because of all the magic around it. Like we had beauty and we also had some sadness. It was bittersweet in some ways between both you and David as our main speakers. Poor David's mother passed away literally 12 hours before the event. And David would've had every right in the world to back out of it. And in fact, I would've actually encouraged him to like, go be with your family. I'm the last person you need to be worried about. But he insisted. He said, no, it's not. It didn't even cross my mind because I needed to be here. I want to be in the presence of love and around people, and I don't want to be alone. It made me cry when he told me it, and he was crying as he said it, and I gave him a hug. And it turned out to be such a genuine and even more powerful delivery because it was so real and authentic. And quite honestly, a keynote he can never give again. He'll never give a keynote Hours after his mother just passed because he'll never be able to recapture those emotions or that feeling. And then for you, the magic of this historic, historic milestone to do this not once but twice. You've been a bestselling author, right? And on top of it, I want to make sure we get this in there because it's all about we wanted to make you feel special and acknowledged and seen. I had the driver pick you up, but I think I also had him standing outside. With a sign saying, USA Today bestselling author Amberly Lago.

Oh, I took a video of that. I was like, what? Oh my goodness.

Yeah. No, it's special. Like these things are not accidents and they're no small feats. Like, and it also tells you that you're doing the right thing. Like the response and the feeling I got back from the event and your feedback obviously being so well received and very special to me, it's assurance that you're— it's validity, validation that you're doing the right thing, that this was the right event and we need to do it again. Again, for you to get that validation of receiving that acknowledgement as a USA Today bestselling author is the validation that this was the right book at the right time for this audience, and you probably need to do it again, Amberly. So, you know—

I know, my husband will kill me.

Yeah, I know.

But I feel like also, I don't know if you feel this way, but do you ever feel like when you're doing something that is important to you, and you know it's going to make a positive impact in the world, That you get resistance that comes up?

Sure. It's doubts. Maybe it's— the resistance can come in a variety of ways. There could be doubts. There's fear. It could be a wave of different things, maybe even a combination of various things. But I think that's normal. And if anything, it's probably a reminder that it's not supposed to be easy. The challenge is the way. The obstacle is the way. That's the path. And if this is getting a little bit harder, it's not that I need to run away from it. I need to run harder at it. And obviously, I'm sure that's happening.

I love that. Yeah, that's how I feel too. And I mean, I just— when I was going to your event, I get off the plane and my assistant's like, you're not going to dinner. I know that you're not feeling well because of the CRPS. You are going straight to your hotel. There's an IV nurse that's going to be there. And it was like, yes, I will get that IV. I will be rested up and I will be ready to go. And so, yeah, resistance, whether it's your mind, Your own fear or doubt or your health, it comes up. But I think it's so rewarding when we do, you know, keep moving forward. And I love that you said the challenges. That's the way. Like, when you have fear come up, it means run towards it. That means it's probably something you're—

Yeah.

I always used to tell my clients, do something that scares you every day. You know, I really believe that.

I agree with you.

I agree with you. Do you think that— well, first of all, how old were you when you got into taekwondo?

I was 8. So I got bullied as a kid, you know, and living in Reno, Nevada. And, uh, at the time, The Karate Kid, the original Karate Kid, right now I'm really aging myself, had come out and I was just obsessed with it because that character, you know, Ralph Macchio, uh, who one day I'm going to have on my podcast. I'm working on it. But yeah, Daniel LaRusso, you know, he was bullied. And I don't know, I just— it just— the character resonated. And I was begging my mom to put me in a class, and she did. She looked through the Yellow Pages. Now I'm really aging myself. You remember those? The Yellow Pages?

Yeah.

Half your audience is like, what are these two laughing about? Like, is it an inside joke? You know what? It is, but it isn't, because this was how Before Google, this was our Google. If you wanted to search something or find a number, you had to look through this big, thick book. And she looked in the Yellow Pages, she found a martial arts school. It was at a YMCA in Reno. It wasn't even a karate class, it was a taekwondo class, and I didn't know the difference. So she threw me in there and the rest was history. But that's how I got involved. I was 8 years old.

Wow. I put my oldest daughter in taekwondo and she was really good. And then she just didn't want to take anymore. And I said, well, you're going to finish the year out and then see. So she finished the year and she stopped. And then she could see how much my youngest daughter is really— she's an equestrian and she's just so passionate about horses. And my daughter said, I wish that I had something like that that I was so passionate about when I was younger. And I was like, well, you were about taekwondo. She goes, yeah, I wish I never would have quit. And I think that sports give kids such a great Discipline, resilience, determination, perseverance, trust in themselves. So much that carries through, through the rest of your life. How do you feel that being a champion in taekwondo and the mindset around that, being an athlete, how has that helped you as an— and molded you as an entrepreneur?

Well, I think it's definitely created structure and frameworks and this cemented understanding, because it's really grounded in me now, that you have to be committed to a process, that success doesn't happen by accident. People don't win by accident. They don't become champions because they're lucky. They have a formula and they stick to it. They have a process. They have discipline. They have people around them. They have something that they commit to, micro goals, like steps every day of moving forward towards something. And that's what it really taught me, is that these things are not an accident. Like, every time I won, we had the right people, the right team, the right formula. I kept my circle tight. I cut things in my life that I didn't need to have any exposure to, tried to minimize negativity or just bad energy, whatever. Just really go into, you know, into a bunker and, and, um, and lock down. And then there was times when we didn't do as well, you know, over my 7-year competing career when the training and all that was fine, but the— some of the external, the chaos in my life, relationships or something weren't that good or positive. And I could say, you know what, that must have had an effect because every time I did well, things were lined up beautifully that way or under control. It's never perfect. I'm not saying that you have to have things perfect because that's not fair. That's not life, right? Like, we're all dealing with something.

Yeah.

Sick parents, some drama, a divorce, God forbid, sick children, something, maybe even a personal thing, or it's more emotional, whatever it might be. But you have some harmony with it. It's not that it's perfect or that there's balance, there's just harmony and it's working. But when there was lack of harmony and a little bit more instability, then things didn't go so well. So if anything, I would say, Amberly, that's what it really has shown me, you know, is that it doesn't happen by accident. You got to commit to it. And it's now created, and I tell this to every athlete I coached for Team USA, regardless of how you end, because not everyone's fortunate to end up on a podium. We take a team to these World Championships, which is like 1,000 competitors in 50 countries, and you get to wear the Stars and Stripes. I mean, it's the honor of a lifetime.

Wow.

And I tell our 80 athletes, the reality is maybe 10 or 15 of you are going to end up on a podium. I don't know what medal you'll get, a bronze, silver, or gold, but that's just the reality of it. Right? So not everyone's going to get one. Yes, everyone's got dreams of getting a gold medal put around their neck and hearing their national anthem. It's not going to happen for everyone. And I said, that's not the important thing. The important thing is who you've become as a result of this process and committing all this time. And you've changed. You have evolved into something. You pushed yourself into something that you didn't know was possible. Maybe it was just purely from a fitness level. Maybe it was a mental resilience. Maybe you do get the medal. Whatever it is, you're going to end up in a very different place. And you now have a blueprint for the rest of your life on how to create change or how to completely end up in a different spot from where you started. And I want you to remember this for the rest of your lives because you will apply this to jobs. I said, if you're a young person and we have lots of high school athletes, this is how you're going to function in the real world. You now have a leg up on everybody because of what you just went through.

True.

And if you can harness that formula and keep it close to your heart and in your mind, and you just know, I've got a process. I know. I just rewrite it. It's the same framework. I just fill in the blanks with different stuff, whether the goal is to lose weight, become healthier, get that job, get that promotion, get into that graduate school, win that race, whatever it is. It doesn't matter. The frameworks are the same. You just got to insert different details. So that's what it's really taught me. And that's where I feel like the athletes have gotten the most out of it. And that's what's rewarding because at the end of the day, we're all just trying to get better.

I love that. Well, how would you coach somebody to really just enjoy the journey, the process? And I mean, I know we— a lot of us focus on, well, I just want to win that race, or I just want to stand on that— on the infamous red circle and do a TED Talk, or I just want to be on that podcast or whatever it is, or I just want to make that much money.

Yeah.

How would you have coached somebody to get them to appreciate and really, I guess, have joy throughout the journey instead of just focusing on the victory lap?

Well, I think, you know what, and I think most of society suffers from this, which is the fixation on the endgame, being attached to the outcome, right? I want to end up in that winner's circle. I want to win that race or whatever. And if I don't, I failed. If I don't, you know, this was a waste of time. And not everybody wins. Life is a zero-sum game. There's a winner and there's a loser, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong about that. And they're not— neither one of them are states of permanence, right? You can get up and do it again. The thing is, when you look at it as a zero-sum outcome, or you are so attached to the outcome, you actually cheat yourself out of the gift, which was everything that happened in the middle, from the point of inception or the idea When you ideated this mission and the ending. And you don't have control. As much as we like to think we've got full control over how things are going to turn out, even as an athlete, I always tell the athletes, and I knew this too, 80% of today is in my hands. I did everything I needed to do to prepare for this moment. I'm ready for it. 20% is completely out, and I've got to leave that up to the universe, to God. Just let it go. Like, just be happy and be at peace. With what I've done. But I think a lot of people are so fixated on that, and then they cheat themselves out of this middle, this middle part, which is the most important, right? That's the bulk of it is what happened to you along the way? What lessons did you learn? What takeaways? What blueprints do you now have? So I ask people whenever they're fixated on this, and to fully answer your question about coaching them, I ask them, well, what will that win do for you? Why is it that you're so fixated on that? And most people cannot answer it. They can't. They just think, I needed it. I want to be rich because I want to be rich. Well, what does being rich— like, what would that do for you? Suppose you're rich. What is that going to do? Well, I'll be rich.

No, no, no.

Tell me more. They don't know why it is they want the thing. And that means there's going to be no fulfillment attached to this goal. You still might win. You might. I'm not saying you won't. But it'll be empty.

Yeah.

And Tony Robbins has that great quote that success without fulfillment is empty. It's almost meaningless. This is why so many astronauts that were part of the original Apollo missions that went to the moon, so many of those astronauts came back suicidal, mentally depressed, severely depressed, uh, alcoholics, addicts. Because after the moon, what else is there? There was nothing else. It was like, I achieved this thing and then I come back and now there's— now what? Now, that is something not a lot of us will ever be able to relate to because how many people get to go to the moon or go beyond this Earth's atmosphere? But the point is still the same. There was nothing after that. There was no— so getting to the moon was the goal, but then after that, now what? And because there's nothing, you sink. So I want people, if they're listening to this and you got a big goal or something, the thing you got to do before you put the plan in place, setting a goal is great. Don't get me wrong. But rather than being fixed at moving towards a goal, I think we need to be fixed to move towards it, like fixated on the trajectory. Wherever I end up in this space, it's all good. Maybe there's a win. Maybe I fall just short, but I'm a totally different person. Maybe I don't end up with $1 billion, but I end up with several million. Like whatever it is, I just need to be on the right trajectory into this space instead of being so fixed on one outcome. So you set that out and whatever, but ask yourself, what will this actually mean? What will winning mean? Okay, maybe it silences the inner critic. Maybe I overcome that demon. Maybe I show those people that said, no, you'll never get out of this town, or, no, you'll never amount to it. Whatever it is, get really clear. Go as deep as you can because that's what you're going to have to come back to when things get hard or when you really want to commit to doing this and setting out on this mission. That's what's going to really fuel you. It's not the goal that's going to fuel you. The goal, you're just like, you've circled it. That's where you're going to. That's X on the map. And we're moving towards it. But if you want to have real fuel that's going to drive you, you got to be clear on what that goal will mean to you. And if you can't come up with a meaning for it, then you're not doing this for the right reasons. You're not trying to get successful for the right reasons or winning. Like Amberly, when you wrote your book, you weren't looking to write your book because you wanted to end up on the USA Today bestseller list. Like that would have been empty. You would have hit it and like, okay, now what? You know?

Yeah.

Like great. It lasts for a couple of days, the feeling. We go out to dinner, we celebrate a couple things. It's on my social media. But then after, it's like, okay, now what? No, you didn't write the book for that. You wrote this book because you wanted to genuinely help people. And it's not easy writing a book. Like, the strain on your family and you, and like, it takes away from other things. This was a massive sacrifice, massive. But the endgame was to impact people. It wasn't to write the book. The book was a vehicle to help people. That's what your goal was, right? If I'm not incorrect?

Exactly. And I think that that also helps you to stay on the path Yes. And move towards your goal when you know why you're doing it. Because I remember writing my first book and, oh my goodness, I mean, I had so much— well, I had self-doubt with the second book. And I know not all authors are like this, but I was like, oh gosh, especially with the second book. I'm like, well, the first one was a bestseller and people liked it, but what if they don't like the second one? You know, like those thoughts. came up and I had to— how I snapped out of that and focused and kept writing was I thought, I focused on one person. If I can really help one person shift their perspective, shift their mindset, cultivate resilience, then it's worth all of this if I can just help one person. And I think that helps you move forward and continue to be on that path. And so that's such great great advice. And you know what? I don't know if I've ever even asked my clients, why is that? What is it going to do? What does it mean to win? What is it going to do for you? That's so good. I'm going to add that in because I think it's so important. And you know what? My assistant did ask me about, now, why do you want to write a book? She's come from the corporate world and she's new to the whole self-development, podcasting, speaker coaching world. And she's like, right now, so do you want to be an author? And I'm like, well, I really love being a speaker, but being an author can make a big impact and it can get you on more stages, you know? And so she's like, oh, okay. You know, so we kind of had that conversation. So I'm curious with you, you do so much. I am amazed by all you do and the energy that you have and the impact that you make. And you have a beautiful family. I was so excited to finally get to meet your gorgeous wife, and she is so kind. How do you create that harmony when— and I say harmony, I don't say balance because I don't know if there's ever really any balance.

No such thing.

No, everything is, you know, I think there's different seasons where there will be a season where I just came out of a season where I was just go, go, go, go, go. I mean, literally just got back in town from, I feel like, what has been a whirlwind. And so I think that there are seasons, but how do you create that harmony? And you're such an incredible dad and you're this entrepreneur with big ideas and you've got your own podcast, which is a whole other— it's like a whole other job. And I know you have a great team, but are there certain things that you do or systems that you have in place that allow you to create this harmony so you can keep moving forward? And have a happy wife. My husband always says, happy wife, happy life. And I'm like, right, get that.

It's the truth. Yeah, that's— I mean, that's what you need to be taught in school. If you can get that down and figure that part out, your life will get easier, or at least be a little less difficult. You know what, Amberly? I think it's an ever-evolving process to finding that harmony because there's things I'm trying to tweak. And bring in incorporating AI to help me get back some time, right? Like, I'm right now in the middle. I'm gonna— when we get done today, I've got to spend the rest of the afternoon implementing this product that is, uh, going to help me manage my inbox better because I don't want my assistant to do it. I want my assistant to do some other stuff so that I don't miss key emails or whatever. And this supposedly, they say, because they write the emails for you, the responses back, and you can proof them, it learns your language and how you are. I'm really fascinated by My friend, did you—

who's doing this? What company?

It's Fixer. There's a bunch, but it's F-Y-X-R. And it was recommended to me by another fellow entrepreneur who I have a lot of respect for, and I'm part of his mastermind. And he told me, this is what you need, because I told him my challenge. Point being is that I'm trying to incorporate certain things that'll help me get back an hour here, you know, 2 hours there. That'll free me up to be able to stay in the creative space and continue to think entrepreneurially And be forward-thinking. But then also, you know, all of this is all legacy work for my daughters, not just in terms of the outcomes, but I want them to see the grind. And so much of what we do— this podcast will live forever, right? It's like aired and it's there. It's like a— it's a time capsule. The content that I shoot, all the stuff I do, the speaking engagements that are taped and then put up on my YouTube channel, like all the— these are all a time capsule. God forbid if anything ever happens to me abruptly one day, and none of us know what could happen or what, what are, you know, who, who's in, who's ultimately in control of our fate, because it's not us. They've got something. And I, I really do genuinely feel like all the stuff I'm doing is for them, not necessarily in the way of outcomes or bottom line value, but in the lessons. Like my podcast, so much of it are the lessons that I want to be talking to them about. Well, my daughters, you know, they're 6 and almost 2. So my 6-year-old, we have a lot of emotional intelligence conversations, one of which I learned from you on how we end our days and what you shared, this beautiful story about how you talk to your daughter about what she's grateful for and what she's happy about. My daughter and I do that every night.

Wow.

Now, it's not every night because my wife and I alternate who puts the baby down and who puts the 6-year-old down. So the last 2 nights in a row, I've been on baby duty, which I enjoy. Because that's a gift too, even though it takes much longer. It's about 40 minutes, so you got to have patience. But I try and remind myself that I get to do this. I don't have to do it. I get to do it. It's a privilege. But with the 6-year-old, we have that conversation. So I'm talking to her about these things, and they're all lessons and things that I want to make sure that, you know, every day I get the chance to pour into them, I want to make sure I do it. But all the stuff I'm doing is leaving that kind of legacy for them. So, you know, it's not that there's always this perfect harmony, Amberly, with all the things. And you come from the same world. You're wearing a lot of different hats. It gets tiring. You do the best you can. It's not at all perfect. I'd say 50% of it goes off the rails. You guys, people see the other 50% that looks great or that it turned out good or that piece of content or this speaking engagement, whatever. But you don't know about the other 50% or even sometimes 60%, 70% of the day that was total shit. And it happens. You just got to learn from it. You got to put things back together, try harder, try and figure out ways to get some time back. But you just don't lose sight of what's most important in your life. And again, back to the coaching thing, why you're doing this, what's the real meaning behind it? And for me, it's for them, right?

Yeah.

It's for the family. It's for my 2 daughters. So that makes it easy to keep the energy up because then it doesn't feel like work. There's purpose behind this mission, even though it might be scattered at times and crazy and pulling me in a million different directions, and I feel like I'm running low, I just, I know why I'm doing it, and that's what makes it a little bit easier. So, again, just being really clear on that, I think, is important for anyone that's doing a lot.

Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful. You are such a good dad. I love that. And I love that you've incorporated the gratitude at night, too.

Yeah, I love it. I heard you say it in Texas. We were in Fort Worth, and you were giving a keynote, and I was sitting in the back, listening, and it was very touching. You know, I actually, I cried during it. I've cried. You make me cry a lot in the best of ways. I had you on my podcast. I was moved to tears.

We were both crying on your podcast.

Both crying. Generally, when I see someone, you know, some people can't do it, but when I see someone crying, it triggers me and I start crying, like, for whatever the reason is. But there's other people that don't. Like, they see someone crying and it literally has no impact on them. But I'm not one of those guys. But yeah, on the podcast, but I heard you talking about that on stage and It had a profound impact on me, and I always want to raise situational and self and personal awareness in my children. And I don't think you can ever start too early. You know, how many adults do you and I know— we were having an offline conversation about this— that have no clue? And it's too late to teach them now, but children need this, and it's never too early to teach them that stuff. So it just had a big impact on me. I'm always looking for ways to do it, and I incorporated it literally 2 nights later when I got home, and we've been doing it. Ever since. So thank you for that.

They are so blessed to have you and, and all the skills, whether it's emotional, whether it's, you know, coming from the soul or from the mindset or whatever it is. They are so blessed to have you. I was speaking to a friend of mine earlier today and she goes, wow, it seems like you have been surrounded by a lot of negativity in your life. And I was like, Yeah, I sure have. And that's why I chose to go the other way. And I was like, I want to live a life with positivity, not fake positivity, but I want to focus on the good because I feel like when you focus on the good, the good gets better. Focus on the solution.

Right.

Focus on the solution and not the problem. And that's what I really feel like you do. I'm just curious, do you have like— I know you talked about discipline and what taekwondo did for you as far As far as like teaching you systems and discipline and stuff like that. Do you have a certain routine that you do every morning when you wake up to get your day going, or do you just hit the ground running?

You know, I think there's a lot that's been made of morning routines and stuff, and they work great for people. A lot of people that talk about them. But then there's the rest of the world that feels like, because I don't have a morning routine, therefore I must be a failure or my day's going to suck. No, that's not it. Everyone's different on how they go about things. There's sometimes I've got a routine where I've gotten up and done a little bit of a gratitude practice or something with my coffee, or I'll just kind of stare out at the ocean because we have a beautiful view. And I'll just look and see and be just grateful for things I have and remind myself that any challenge I have today is a first-world problem and I'm lucky that I have these problems and I'm going to tackle them, whatever they are. Then there's other days I get up and I dive right into my inbox and it's just high cortisol, high stress shit.

Yeah.

Like right out of the gate. That's my morning routine. Like we just got into it. So it's not perfect. There's no set way. I'm always in awe of people that have like a set, set routine that they really stick to. You know, they're cold plunge, they do this, that. But it's for everyone else that isn't into that or doesn't have it. I don't want you to think that because you don't do that stuff, you're not successful. You're not going to have a good day. Like everyone is different. Whatever your routine is, Or lack thereof, you've still got direct control over how, you know, your output in this day and your impact on everyone you come across is going to be. And whatever your way of doing that is to get it started, that's special to you and that's unique to you. But for me, Amberly, there's definitely coffee involved. There's always coffee involved. I don't even trust anyone that doesn't drink coffee. Somebody looks at me and says, I don't drink coffee. I look at them funny like, I'm going to sit over here. I'm not sitting next to you. I don't trust you. You got to have coffee. So most every— that's the one consistent in every day. And then I think, like I said, even if it's for a few seconds or something that you're just— just remind yourself of what you're grateful for. Because again, another great Tony Robbins quote is that you can't— if you are in a place of gratitude, there's nothing negative that can happen right away. Right? Like if I can just start right there, even if it's for 30 seconds, or some people do it for 15 or 20 minutes or whatever it is. Just be— just get up and just talk about what— or just tell yourself, one, you're happy, you're grateful that you woke up today, because we take that for granted. And what are you most grateful for? You know, your family, your health, whatever it is, just start there. And even if it's for 30 seconds while you're sipping your coffee, that is a great morning routine. Most people don't even start with that kind of positivity. So, keep it simple.

Yeah, I love that. And you know, the one thing that I do have to stop myself from doing is I don't consume before I create. Yes. So I really try to create. And because the minute I open up emails or Instagram—

That's the truth.

I'm just like, my creativity is like, oh, I'm all over the place. I'm a little bit ADHD and I would just be like, all over the place. And so, yeah, I try to do that. And then, yeah, I drink coffee. So don't, you know, we can, we can drink coffee. Together.

I knew you were my kind of gal. Yeah, I knew it.

I got to have that coffee in the morning.

Got to have it.

Yeah. And speaking of email, I'm very interested to know more about that AI. I've had a friend, actually, you know where I met him? His name's Ryan. I met him where I first met you when we were speaking at Renee Rodriguez's event. And he's like, I've got AI, it can check your email. And I was like, I don't know about that. I have an assistant that does that. That's kind of scary to me. But now to hear you say it, and now that I've been using AI every day and it has saved so much time, it can save you time and money.

Big time.

Big time. Like, there are companies that charge hundreds of, like, Thousands of dollars for branding. We'll give you branding and we'll do your newsletter campaign and this and that. I'm like, uh, yeah, you can just use AI for that now.

You can. Yeah, you know, it's gonna keep going. It's gonna keep going. It's gonna keep expanding. It is gonna eliminate some jobs or change things. It's just inevitable.

Yeah, it is. But it is good for helping sometimes to spark creativity too when I need an idea. So I love that. Well, Well, I love how you talk about mindset, and I especially need to talk about mindset around money because what I have coming up with a lot of people, and I've noticed it lately because I am doing a retreat in Kauai and it's a really good deal. Like, it's 5 days on the island and it's very well priced where I know there are some people in our industry that charge like $15,000 for one day with them. This is 5 days for under $8,000. That includes your hotel.

Incredible.

And yet still, I'm sharing this because this has just come up, because I just started reaching out to people yesterday. And so many people are like, oh, well, you know what? I don't want to put it on a credit card. And I don't know how I can do this. I'm scared about money right now. a lot of fear. And for me, I'm the kind of person, I'm not going to go out there and be spending money like on stuff that doesn't matter. But when I know that something is an investment, that I know it's going to move the needle on my business or my relationships or eventually, you know, my finances, I'm like, I'm all in. I will figure out a way to pay for that. You know, it's just like, I worked with a coach.

Yeah.

And because I worked with that coach, they referred me for a speaking gig, which paid for my coaching.

Yeah, it always comes back.

Some people would have been like, oh my gosh, $15,000 for one day. Like, that's too much. Well, it's all how you look at things. How do you get— is there a way to get people out of that fear about money and get them more into an abundant mindset? How do you coach people on that?

Well, I say this and I'll tell you from both perspectives as the host that's trying to get people to understand that this is going to be a great investment and it's not easy putting on events. You're putting on a 5-day retreat, so God bless you for doing it. I'm going to sneak my way into that one because I know that one's going to be special and I want to be there for it.

Yes.

So, there's that. And then, there's the standpoint of the person that would be the attendee when they're deciding whether or not they want to actually transact. And do this. But I think when it comes to personal growth, investing in yourself, all this stuff, you got to remember that whatever you put out there, you will get it back. That thing, right? If you give time, like 20, 30% of my day is giving time. I will talk to people, give them advice, coach. There's no charge for it. Whatever it is, like someone booked time with me. They're like, can you help me with this? Whatever it is, like in my industry, outside my industry, spend time with them. I do it. And people are like, how do you have time for that? Like, you're so busy. And on the surface, I don't have time for it, but I make time to do that because whatever I give, I know I'm going to get back. So if I give time, I will get more time back some way. To your point, you and I were talking about this before we started recording. We spend some money, it comes back, right? Like, these things just happen to work. So whatever you give, because money is just an energy at the end of the day, guys.

It is.

It's not a thing. Money is an energy. And if you can keep it in some kind of a flow state, which is hard, and some people might be rolling their eyes as they listen, like, dude, I've got real bills to pay. I get you. We've all got mouths to feed and whatever. But when money becomes more than what it is to us, we actually get less of it.

Mm-hmm.

If you just kind of let go and recognize it's an energy, and if I give, I'll get back that same thing. It's the opposite of taxes. Taxes, which I'm not a fan of, nobody is, but I'm really not a fan. Whatever you tax, you ultimately get less of, which is why it never works. When you tax income, the person doing the taxing, maybe it's the government, maybe it's an entity, they get less income. When you tax labor, you get less output. Like, it works the opposite as taxing. This is like reverse taxing. There's taxing and giving. So give, give, give, give time, give money, give energy, give thoughts, give feedback, whatever it is, and you will get it back. Now let's talk about the events. When you're hosting an event, for anyone out there that's trying to host something, whether it's big ticket or whatever, it has to be— in order to get people, especially in a market like this, Amberly, which you touched on, which is hard right now. People are very conscious. They're afraid. They don't know what's in store. We got tariffs. We got trade wars. Who knows? The sky is falling. People are really— they've worked themselves up. You got to separate the noise for starters, and that's a whole nother talk. But when you're hosting something and you're trying to get people to do something in a tough time, You can make it much easier if you understand what their problem is and how you are going to solve it because everyone wants to solve their problem. So whatever the problem is of your audience or the people that you're trying to get to come to your event, it better be very clear on how you're going to solve that problem, what the framework is, and almost like a guarantee, you will be out of this problem when you leave here or you'll have the strategies to get out of that problem when you leave here or fix it or whatever. When you do that, it makes it much easier for someone to transact and want to move towards what it is that you're offering. If you're doing it with sincerity, which of course you are and so many people do. That's the side.

Yes. It's so true. It's so true.

Think about what you spend money on, right? Like everything you spend money on, on the surface, you'd be like, I'd be nuts to do that. But you're doing it because something is registered in you that that is a problem I have. They're going to solve it or they're offering a strategy for it. I will swipe my card even when it doesn't make sense because I've gone to events and I've paid for events And I'm still part of my— I paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to masterminds or groups or think tanks or retreats over the last couple years. And some people would say, including my bookkeeper, this is madness. What are you doing? And it's because I know I always want to be in the room. I want to be around like-minded people. Now, I've switched gears, guys. I'm talking about the attendee. And this is why you want to do it. Because I know all the growth is going to be on the other side of the discomfort, whether it's financial discomfort, it's It's relational discomfort, it's time discomfort, resource capacity, energy, whatever it is. All the growth is on the other side of it. So every time I've stretched to do something, even when it didn't make sense, to get into that room, to shake someone's hand, to rub elbows with someone, to hear one thing that might change the entire trajectory of my business or life, it's never failed me. I've never regretted being in a room or paying what I needed to do or getting on that flight to go somewhere. If you're in alignment with whoever it is that invited you, and they're in alignment with you, there's only good that will come from it. Yes, it costs money, and yes, it comes at the expense of something else. But like I said, if you give that, I promise you, promise you, promise you, you will get it back. So when you're afraid right now, and you have a right to be, no one's saying that it's foolish to be afraid, or a little bit skeptical, or a little bit like you're tightening, tightening up the belt. You know, we got to batten it down and. Not spend as much, and that is the normal tendency. Most businesses take their foot off the gas of marketing. That's the first expense they cut. And when the market got tight in my industry, guys, about four years ago, three or four years ago, that's the first expense that got cut. I actually doubled it. I cut other things. I didn't cut the marketing expense or the marketing budget. I might be crazy. We'll find out in two years, two or three years. I put my foot down on it and I threw gas. I'm like, nope, I'm gonna go harder at it. So I'm going to give more into this space because I want to get it back. So whatever the thing is that you're afraid of, guys, actually move towards it, as Amberly said earlier, and just recognize that these are opportunities for growth. Even though they may not be the most convenient, it's a massive, massive opportunity, and one that you should seize. Yes.

And I wish that I could explain how important it is to get in the room. That it's not necessarily even just, oh, let me learn this strategy for doing this. Yeah, that's all great. But it's the relationships that you make.

That's how we met, Amberly.

That's how we met.

That's how you and I met. If I don't go to Renee's event, I might know of you and I follow you on social, which is a gift in and of itself. But to actually connect with you, and the moment you and I spoke and connected and hugged, it's like I knew I'd had a lifelong friend that I just reconnected with. That's what it felt like. But that only happened because we were in the room. Nothing replaces being in person. Ever.

It's so true. It's so true. And yeah, and yeah, you're stuck with me for the rest of your life. Okay.

Likewise, my friend. That's all right. That's all right with me.

Well, let me tell you, speaking of marketing and branding and going all in, you have become the go-to person for everybody in your space, whether— I mean, whether they're lenders, they're in the mortgage industry, even probably if they're in insurance, actually any industry, I think, because you have just raised the bar with your marketing and what you do and become the go-to person for your videos that you create on Instagram and TikTok that go viral. You have some that are just hilarious and then some that are super, super informative. And now you even go and you speak at conferences about How to do this? Like there's so many people that will just post a picture of a house, or just just close this, or just did this. And you actually get on and people get to know you and get to know your personality, and they're more willing to work with you because they feel like oh well I know him he's the one that I have been listening to on TikTok or he's the one that I watch on Instagram all the time. Can you tell us the importance of that personal branding, even when you have a big business, how you are like the brand? And how can somebody start to do that if they're scared to start showing their face on social media?

I'll tell you this, the internet, guys, which is where everyone lives, we are recording this podcast over the internet. Like, the internet is everything. The internet is a gigantic shopping mall. You need to think of it that way. Gigantic. The world's the biggest. It's an infinite shopping mall. And attention is the only currency. That's the currency that matters is attention. How much attention are you creating? How much attention are you capturing? How much attention are you holding? And the only way you're going to do that is by being really visible. Now, what do we get visible with? You said it, Amberly. Everybody has a brand. You just may not be in control of it. Everyone's got one. It's following you around. A lot of people think, oh, this branding stuff's complicated marketing. It's not. I'm going to dumb it down for you right now because I like things very simple. I'm a steak and potatoes guy. I like keeping it simple. I don't like using too big of words. Your brand is your reputation. That's it. Your brand is your reputation. And your reputation is the sum of everything that you put out into the universe. The kind of person you are, the way you leave people feeling, the results that you get as a service provider, the wins that you get for your clients. That's your reputation. That is your brand. Everybody's got one. Like I said, you just may not be in complete control of it. So if you can kind of reverse engineer that and figure out what it is that you do, what's your thing, and you understand what your reputation is, because guys, at the end of the day, your brand, like I said, you don't— some of you may not have control over it. Your brand shows up to meetings before you do, and it's what people say about you when you're not in the room. Mm-hmm. When you leave the room, that's what they say about you. Or before you get to the meeting, if they've been studying you and pulling you up online, you've already shown up before you've actually physically shown up because your brand is doing the talking for you. So everyone needs to take full ownership of it and recognize that with this ownership of it and starting to talk about what it is I do and who I help and making things relatable, it's not about being likable. There's a big difference there. If you're likable on top of it, that's a wonderful combo. But you don't have to be the most likable person. You don't have to be the best-looking person. You just have to be in value or in service to other people. You brought up that example, Amberly, of so many people in my industry will talk about, I just sold this. I just made President's Club. Look at me, I'm great. And don't get me wrong, guys, credibility is important. You got to blow your own horn. I get it. We all need to do that. But it doesn't make you that special. Okay? You know what? You sold a house. Great. So did a few hundred thousand other people this month that sold houses. Tell me the story about it. Because at the end of the day, these are not transactions and notches in our belt. These are human beings we help. I want to know, and I tell agents this all the time when I speak, don't tell me about what you just sold. Tell me about how you helped a single mother stay in that house after a nasty divorce so that she didn't have to take her kids out of that school zone and make new friends again. And what would have already made a very difficult situation much more trying and stressful, that's the story you tell me because stories draw people in. These are human beings at the end of the day, guys. They're not accomplishments.

They're not.

They're not notches. So when you think about what you put out there into the world, again, with the reputation and the concept of brand, be very mindful of what you're putting out there. And every human, every story, every interaction is a different one. They're all very unique and independent. And they deserve to be told. And so that's just an example of the kind of content I like to put out and what I implore other people to do regardless of what industry, and I'm just using real estate as an example, is tell the story behind what happened here because somebody knows somebody else who's going through a nasty divorce, they're going to think of that, and that sticks better because there's emotion attached to it. You get drawn in. We all love a good story. And my clients, my person that I'm helping, they're the hero of the story. When you say, I just sold this, You're being the hero. Nobody needs you to be the hero. Take the attention off you. Make the client the hero or the person you help or the family you helped or that per— whatever it is. They are the hero of the story. You come second. So I know that was a bit of a mouthful there on branding and execution.

You have such a gift for— you do that. You make other people the hero everywhere you go. You are one of the most humble people I've ever met. And, you know, that's— it's really rare to see someone with such luminous success yet still has this servant heart and is so humble. And you highlight other people everywhere you go. You just have a gift for doing that. So thank you for that. And that's, that's such great advice. Now, there are a lot of people— this is the excuse. I get a lot is, I just don't have time for that. I'm working on other things. I don't have time for that. And like, I just spoke to a former client of mine and she's like, oh my gosh, we have great stuff. I've got, I've got the funnel, I've got this, I've got everything. It's like— And I said, well, it's kind of like when I wrote my first book and I had the publisher say, We don't do any marketing or branding for you. If you want your book in the hands of other people, it's up to you to do it. And I was like, it's up to you. Pretty graphics are one thing. That's all pretty. But people— there are a million coaches out there. There are a million realtors out there. There are a million, you know, people in the mortgage industry out there. But people want to get to know you. And I was like, time to start putting yourself out there. Let people get to know you. What do you say to people? And I don't know if you get this or not, who—

Yeah.

Oh, well, I just don't have time for that.

It's a very simple rebuttal. And I love that you asked this question because I always answer it. When people say, I don't have time for that, I respond, you mean you don't have time to be good at what you do? Because everything we're doing here is ultimately making us better. Researching topics, thinking about what we're doing, marketing ourselves. Tony Robbins, I know I refer to him a lot, but I just admire and love him so much. Tony Robbins says the only 2 responsibilities, sole responsibilities of a business owner or operator are to innovate and market. Get good at what you do, tell the whole world about it. Sharpen the blade, put it on blast. That's it. Innovate and market. That's your only job. So if you are telling me that you don't have time for this stuff, you're basically saying, I don't have time to be good at my job. I'm just looking for low-hanging fruit and transactions. I need to just close something or sell something or make something happen. This all will make every other facet of your business better. One, because this is the way now, guys. This is not some trend. This is it. This is like, you don't want to be a taxi, right, in an Uber world. Taxi cab companies were arrogant and I call it AA, audacity and arrogance. That'll kill any industry. The arrogance to think that you know everything or that you don't need to get better and the audacity to think that there is no improvement for you or that you can't evolve. If you stay set in those ways, you're going to get killed and leveled off. Nobody needs to be thinking like this is the way now. The attention, the currency, like I said, all of that stuff, the visibility, this is the way. So you make the time, like you have the time, everyone has the time. You're just thinking of it as an extra thing. But if you actually embrace it as something that's going to make other aspects of your business and life better, it will kind of replace some things or it'll become the thing. It won't be an extra thing, it'll become the thing. So that's my rebuttal, Amberly, when people say they don't have time.

That's so good. I love that. And, you know, I tell people, well, I made time. I figured out the only time that I could do it and I stuck to it because I was, you know, and at first my husband thought that I was just messing around on social media and I was like, oh, no, no, no, this is a business strategy because I had a plan when I first started. I mean, 6, 7 years ago, I didn't even have social media. It was all new to me and I just had to figure it out.

Me too. You too. Yeah.

And I'm still figuring it out, you know, but I think that it can be fun and you definitely make yours fun. And so, y'all, I'm going to have the links for his social media. You are going to want to follow him on Instagram for sure. TikTok, all the places. But I tend to stalk you on Instagram. I'm there the most. But what is— what is your legacy and Then I also want to add, I know we're running out of time. I could talk to you all day, but what is your legacy that you're working on right now?

It's just to help tackle the financial literacy crisis in the United States and make people more aware of it. We are a country, unfortunately, that likes to keep up with the Joneses, keep up with our competition, and we do that by spending. We spend money on things we don't need to impress people we don't like.

Yeah.

Don't even like us. We do that, and I'm, I'm very aware of it. And this is not to say, like, don't enjoy yourself or treat yourself to things. Look, I love buying myself a good pair of shoes or what, you know, spending money and splurging on a nice suit. Nothing makes a man feel better, right? And, you know, for everyone, you got your thing. That's fine. But I also like to keep it a little bit in check and recognize, like, you know, there, there can be a little bit of excess when it comes to this stuff. Tackling the financial literacy crisis and helping people make more money by being smarter with their money and spending it on less dumb stuff will make everyone better off. Because the times that we're in now, the times that we had in 2008, guys, economic shifts or depressions or recessions are not a matter of if they happen, they're a matter of when. Everything is a matter of when. So you've got to be prepared. So that's my real big professional mission. And then on a personal mission, which ties into it, it's just to have as much impact on making other people's lives around me better in whatever way, shape. Maybe that is financially, maybe it's spiritually, maybe it's just in how they treat their family or treat others or how they treat themselves. People are not kind to themselves anymore. So that's my big mission. And I've been very blessed to make friends and connect with people like you, Amberly, that I feel so lucky and fortunate to have met in this life.

Hmm.

And it makes me better and it revalidates why I love doing what I do. And it's of that mission. And I know you're on that mission. We're on it together to try and help other people. So that's what I'm after these days.

Well, you are seriously one of the best, if not the best humans I've ever met. You are. And it's obvious to see everybody that is around you, everybody. You said your brand is your reputation and it's what people say before you walk into a room, after you've left a room. Every single person that ever your name ever comes up is always, oh, I love him. He is the best guy. And I'm like, he is. So I just want you to know, you everywhere your name is mentioned, everybody just loves you. You are making a tremendous impact in the impact in the world. And I had a lot more questions and like, but you know what, y'all go to Instagram, Arjun Mortgage, and follow him because he's got like reels that it's like, how do you become a millionaire? And he will give you— he will walk you through how to become a millionaire. If you go, he's got— you've got should you buy or should you rent? Like all kinds of questions about everything from the economy to mindset to Funny stuff to what's happening in San Francisco. And I have to say, San Francisco was breathtaking. I lived there. I lived in the Bay Area for a year, and it's been years since I've been back. And I was just like— people probably thought, what's wrong with her? Because I was just like gazing out into where your event was held. The view, the hotel you put us in was just magnificent. So thank you again for the opportunity to be a part of your event. And so, Better Human Project is going to be every February?

Every February. There'll be a business-facing event every November, but every February. So, we'll be announcing it soon. We'll have you back out, Amberly, to be able to enjoy it and sit back and not be in the middle of a book launch. So, you can actually take it all in this time. But yeah, it'll be every time. And again, thank you for being part of something that was so special to me, and it was a new concept. We, you know, some would call it a risk. I don't— I didn't call it a risk. I felt like it was a calling to do something like this for people. But you and the magic of your book and the success of it and the timing of all of it, how serendipitous it all was, it was just beautiful how it all came together. So I'm, I'm forever grateful to you for being part of it because you could have easily told me I'm too busy, and you had every right to tell me that with everything you had going on. But you wanted to be there, you delivered. It was such an impactful keynote, and everyone is still talking about it here. And I sincerely—

Thank you. And anything you ever need, just know it's always a yes. I'm like, what do you need? I'll be there. Yep.

Same for you. You know it. Same for you.

I'm serious. So tell everybody the best way to listen to your podcast, because you have phenomenal guests on your podcast. Tell people how they can coach with you, get into your events, find your podcast, just the best way to reach you.

Great guests. I appreciate that, including hers truly. She was— Amberly was on, and it was one of our best episodes. It was an amazing episode. So it's called the LFG Energy Podcast. It's in the personal growth and involvement space. It's fixated on mindset with some ties to business, but it's all about being a better person, resilience, getting off the ground, you know, when things were dark. And that's where we really went, you know, in that beautiful conversation you and I had. Uh, that's where, uh, you can find some of my mission work. And then social media, @arjunmortgage on Instagram. That's where I spend the most time too, just like Amberly does. And I answer all my DMs, but it's the same handle for all the channels, whether it's YouTube or LinkedIn, Facebook, etc. But Instagram is where I spend the most time. So, if you write me there, I will write you back.

Oh, well, thank you so much for being on and sharing your wisdom and just being such an incredible friend to me. And thank you guys for tuning in. All those links will be in the show notes. And if you have a friend that you think, oh my goodness, they really need to hear this, please share this with them. Let's keep this energy going and spread the love. So thank you again, Arjun. Love you.

Love you too, my friend. Thank you so much.

Thank you. And thank you all for tuning in.