Pivot Your Perspective with David Nurse

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert and bestselling author. Each week, I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought leaders and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace. Hey, and welcome back to the True Grit and Grace podcast. Today on the show, I have David Nurse. He's an NBA life and optimization coach, the author of his new book that I'm so excited about, Pivot and Go, and he's a worldwide motivational speaker. As a former professional basketball player and coach for the Brooklyn Nets, David has personally helped over 150 NBA players with their personal and professional development, both on and off the court. He's been invited to speak in over 50 different countries on topics of overall personal development, confidence building, leadership, and motivational growth. And what I love about what you teach is your key is making mindset pivots, ones that allow you to shift your perspective by incremental but profound powerful degrees. Through all his coaching programs, his speaking, your bestselling book— I'm saying bestselling even though it just came out— he shares how to live a life filled with energy and make the most out of every day. David, I am so happy to have you here. We were talking before we started recording and I was like, we better push record because it was already so much good stuff. So I'm so happy to have you here. Thanks for joining us.

Thank you for having me on. And you're officially going to be hired as my agent after that introduction. You made me sound really cool. So thank you.

Well, you are pretty darn cool. And I have to say, you know, one thing that I loved in right on your website, you have a beautiful website that you say future bestselling book. And that's already like putting it out there. And you know what, it— I checked because I was waiting for, for my book. And I checked on Amazon and do you know, I don't know if you know this, it's already out of stock. So everybody has been ordering your book.

Yeah. It's, I mean, it's a great problem to have. It is a blessing to sell out on day one. I mean, now you look at it like, okay, now I hope they get more in there so it can, more people can get it quickly. But no, it's like, I think there's so much power in speaking things into existence and it's just, Like you put it out there, you tell people you're going to do it, and you also take ownership of taking the steps towards doing that. So just for example on that, when I wrote this book— now I've always been around basketball and people know me as NBA shooting coach and everything— no one would have ever said David Nurse author. Never would have happened. But I was like, you know what, I want to write a book. This is what's going to happen. I'm going to do it. I'm going to commit to it, and I'm going to tell everybody that I'm writing this book, that I am an author. that I'm going to be a bestseller. And I just spoke it into existence and lived each day to take steps towards that, that goal.

That is so powerful. And I had the same experience because I was an athlete and a dancer, fitness trainer. Never would I imagine what I'd say, author. And we were talking before we started recording and you just never know when you envision yourself Being that bestseller, it just might happen and you might surprise a few people. So I'm really excited about your book. I wanted to share a little bit about how you got to be where you are because your whole life you've been an athlete and into basketball. So can you share a little bit about your journey and what your big pivot moment was?

Absolutely. So my life is the epitome of a pivot, hence why I wrote the book Pivot and Go. So I grew up in a small middle-of-nowhere cornfield town of Iowa. And now I'm 6'2 and not very athletic, never dunked a basketball in my life, but my dream was to play in the NBA. Like literally I poured every day into playing in the NBA. And I work— I got every— like I worked for it really, really hard and just being in the gym constantly. And I got to play college basketball and I got to play overseas. And now it sounds really cool when you say professional overseas basketball, but let's get it straight. It was more like the Will Ferrell semi-pro. Like, they cared more about where the party was after the game than they did the actual game. And here I am, no backup plan. Like, in college, I— no backup plan. I was playing in the NBA. That is what I'm going to do. Now I get cut from this second division team in northern Spain, joke of a team. So not only Are my MBA goals and dreams just gone, vanished? They're turned upside down and rubbed in the dirt. So everything I poured my life into, like literally everything, gone. So I come back to Kansas City where my family's living, my folks are living, and I'm living on their recliner chair in the living room for about 5 months and feeling bad for myself. And my mom would always say these motivational and inspirational quotes, and usually it was like, okay, whatever, Mom, in one ear, out the other ear. But I remember vividly, she was doing dishes this one day and she said, David, when one door closes, 4 open in an entire beachfront patio overlooking the ocean. And it kind of caught me off guard.

I love your mama.

She's great. She's great. I was like, all right, that's kind of interesting. And it clicked in me. It's like, hey, everything that I was doing to pour into myself to play in the NBA, all this extra work, this film study, all these details to play was actually to be able to coach others, to be able to help other players on their journey to play in the NBA, become a better basketball player. So everything that I poured in was not lost. It wasn't a failure. It was actually just leading me to something so much better, this, this pivot to become a coach. And so now, like, this is, this is my pivot. And what a pivot is, why I think it's so important for people to understand, is That wasn't a big change. Like, it literally was just me looking at something from a slightly different perspective, and it changed my entire perspective.

Mm-hmm.

So to keep going with the pivots, I said, now I'm gonna be the best shooting coach in the NBA. I'm, I'm motivated, I'm driven, this is what I'm gonna do. I custom made some of these basketballs with this shooting line down the middle from, from China, had them sent to the Oakland Seaport. I drove, I got in my car, drove 29 hours to Oakland to pick him up, put him in my car, and just started driving around the country doing basketball camps and lessons for anybody that would have me in there. Living out of my car for basically 5 years, sleeping in Walmart well-lit parking lots.

Wow.

And just continued to develop great relationships during this and build this up to become a great shooting coach. I was in Australia doing a basketball camp and I got this email, it said Brooklyn Nets shooting coach. And I thought it was spam, but checked it out and they were asking me to become their shooting coach.

Wow.

So after doing this, I finally achieved this goal of being the Brooklyn Nets shooting coach. And I'm there a week later helping them out. We go from 28th in 3-point percentage to 2nd overall when I'm there, like huge jump, like just amazing. Like, God's grace, amazing that we were able to do that. So I'm thinking like, okay, I'm this hot and up-and-coming coach, GM's talking about a 3-year deal. I'm only 27 at the time. I'm like, my life is set. This is, this is now what— this is what I was meant to do.

Mm-hmm.

They bring in a new head coach at the end of the year, and when that happens, the whole coaching staff is gone. So again, the door is slammed in my face shut. My goals, my hopes, my dreams Gone again. But now, like, the one door closes, 4 open. Now I'm living in LA. I'm married to an unbelievably amazing, beautiful wife. I get to go speak, write books, work with NBA players individually. Literally, I am overlooking the ocean right when we're talking right now. So it's even that door closing was for so much more to come.

Wow. And there's so much in all of you, all that you just shared, like what I got. So much as, as you have— excuse me— you have like a default of seeing how you can shift your perspective in that moment. And you're so right. It's not necessarily what we see, but how we see it. And just being able to shift those tiny little bits to shift, make a huge— end up making a huge perspective. But it— you are a huge perspective shift. But you didn't just do that with these big pivot points. I think you did it even in the parking lots of— I hear joy in your voice when you're talking about sleeping in a well-lit parking lot in Walmart. You're like, and I just, you know, I slept in the parking lot. And I mean, some people would feel, you know, have a victim mentality and like, oh, poor Poor me, I have to sleep in my car. And you just kept putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward no matter what it took. And I love that you shared that it took a while. It took 5 years to, to get that job. And, and there's something else that I like that you shared. I was listening to one of your podcast episodes and to you and your beautiful wife who was interviewing you. And she is beautiful, by the way. If you, If you haven't, don't follow David Nurse, go check them out on Instagram. They're like the most gorgeous couple you've ever seen. She asked you about your book and you said it took a while to write it because I talked to some authors who are like, oh, it just poured out of me and in 2 weeks I was done with the book or, you know, and that's great. But for me, it took about 2 years to write my book. And you shared so openly and authentically about it took a while to write your book. And you also really depended on your resources and friends and stuff to help you along the way. What do you think helped you, has helped you the most along your journey to keep your head held high and to keep, you know, keep going with your dreams, to wake up every day and write your book, to keep that positive attitude, to make those pivots? What helps you, the number one thing that helps you the most with that?

I mean, the number one thing is knowing that God has given me an ability and on a mission and he's got the plan for me and that I can rest in knowing that, hey, I'm gonna work as hard as I can and do everything that I can, but I know it's gonna end up on his timing, a much better timing than I can even predict myself. So it frees me up a lot to know that. And I definitely have great support from my wife who's always encouraging me, always, always pushing me forward and just completely in my corner in every single step of the way. But you know what? I look at things from what I call the 1% steps. And I'll look at it from just improving 1% daily in the area that I'm passionate about. I'm a big believer in following your passions, setting big, crazy dream goals, and And going for them instead of making them very, very specific and then taking these, these 1% steps daily to get there. And it's, it's what I talk about in the books and these different— in the book Pivot and Go and the different type of mindset pivots. So it's based on 29 days, a 29-day blueprint to redefine what success is to you and to have you achieve your goals. 28 days is kind of the generally accepted number when you create a habit. Habits are great. Routines are great. Love them. But we want to make it a lifestyle. So you're living in this rhythm that is just like so, so just energy and joy-filled and confidence, self-confidence in yourself. And there's a lot of different ways to look at something from a slightly different perspective. Like even when we were talking about being in the car and I had joy in doing that, it's the joy being in the journey, not the actual destination. And I, I flip it around saying it's not the daily grind, but it's the daily find. Like, what can you find out of that day that you can have, that you can take this 1% step? Because when you look at things from a big picture, like, hey, this is my goal, it's really daunting. When you look at the macros, it's really daunting. But when you break it down to the micros, the 1% steps, it's, it's, it just compounds. Like, 1% after 1% after 1%. The most powerful thing there is is the compounding effect. Momentum literally builds Momentum. And it's, it's just the understanding that, hey, you're gonna get there. You will absolutely get there. It might not be the exact thing that you had set out, like me playing in the NBA. You might have to make a pivot. It'll be something better. You'll get there, but it's gonna take time. Nothing happens overnight. If anything, if any success the world deems happens overnight, really quick, you're gonna burn out. You're not ready for it. And that's why I love when things are difficult. I love when things are tough because I know, I know it's going to be so much more worth it. And I know that any of these difficult situations or this grind that I'm going through, like, I'll be able to use this to be able to help somebody else along the way up and coming. And I know it's kind of a lot in there, but like, just, just understanding that, hey, it'll happen and it'll happen on a better time than you expect, but But daily prepare, prepare for the opportunity like it's going to happen that day. And if you live in this, what I call relentless consistency mode, just unbelievable breakthroughs will happen in your life.

I think that's so important. And I am a huge fan of the 1% because that's what I focused on when the doctors are like, oh yeah, you just, you have a 1% chance of saving your leg. And I was like, OK, I am going to focus on that 1% instead of focusing on the huge, like 99%, you are not going to save it. I was like, I am focusing on that 1%. And I do believe in one day at a time, one step at a time. Or, you know, and I even use that in my coaching. If I have somebody that comes to me and they are like, I want to lose 50 lbs., I am like, well, we are not going to focus on the 50 lbs., we are going to focus On 1 pound, because it's really easy to, to get derailed, to get frustrated, to just give up in the very beginning if you're just focusing on the big picture. For me anyway, that's, that's what I do. It's just much easier. And I love that you really share to find joy in the journey. And I think that if we're always just Thinking, oh, well, when I get there, when this happens, I'll be happy. We're never going to be happy unless we can really find joy in the moment and in the journey. And sometimes that can be hard. It can be really easy to get caught up in the daily routine and the daily grind. But I loved what, what you share about that. And I think right now, all of us, With, you know, I just was out running errands yesterday and everything takes more patience right now with COVID And I was getting very frustrated and I told my 12-year-old whose phone had crashed and we've got to get her a new phone. I was like, take a breath. I was like, you know, everything just takes more patience during this time. And I think it helps everything that you shared for people to just focus on what can they find in the day to bring them joy and focus on the consistency of doing something to move forward every day. That's powerful because I think a lot of us are, you know, maybe feeling stuck right now, especially, you know, all of my speaking events have been canceled. I was— I had a little bit of hope that I had one next month that was possibly still gonna happen. It got canceled. And so it's being really creative in how we find ways to pivot and do things differently. What would you suggest to someone that they could do right now to make them feel not so stuck where they are?

Yeah, so first off, that's amazing. Like, I gotta speak on your 1% chance to have your leg, and you focused on that. Majority of people will focus on that 99%, and I'm sure you've Heard Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning on how he survived by just looking at the positives in this Nazi concentration camp. We are the thoughts that we tell ourselves, and we all are feeling— we have 50,000 self-talk thoughts per day. 50,000. 80% of those are negative.

Mm-hmm.

Like, we are our biggest defenders. We are the ones that are holding us back. And for people feeling stuck, which we all feel stuck to some extent right now, it just kind of happened like This word pivot is kind of the hot word during this time. I had no idea this time was coming, but to get unstuck, it's the best thing that you can do is set up these unbelievable habits. Like, there's no better time. We were basically in this isolation chamber as it is. Set up the day like your ultimate day that you can have. And set up your day like being around your kids, being around your family, embracing that, not worrying about Hey, what is to come? Because we're all going through, like you talked about, same thing for me. I had a lot of speaking engagements that had lined up canceled. We're all going through the what could have beens, the what should have beens, but we can look at this time, we can pivot this crisis for opportunity. So right now, let's say you, you want to develop a skill in something like you've always wanted to develop playing the saxophone. Let's say, okay, you have the time to be able to do that. And you're going to be able to come out of quarantine, out of this time, when life will get back to normal, we'll be around people, but you'll have even more skills that you've developed. And hey, you don't know, in your job there's probably like, maybe you're doing sales and there's a whole saxophone community that you could make sales to. Like, this is the time you can pour into relationships. You can build a genuine, amazing network, like through Zoom or through social media. I've had, I've gained so many new friends who are just like really driven people and people that I love to be around. Like I always talk about setting up your environment, not just like your physical environment, but the people around you are your environment. I don't let any negative people in because there's just not enough time for that, but you have the opportunity to reach out to someone. I'll do something every day. I reach out to 3 people. I'll either send them a text message or a self-video just telling them I'm thinking about it, just encouraging them in what they're doing in their journey. And just pouring into them. And like, it can absolutely change someone's trajectory of their whole life just by showing you're there for them and caring for them. So that's a tool that I'll use. Like, it's— it really takes the focus off, this is about me.

Mm-hmm.

And if you, if you think something's gonna be about you and what can you get out of it, you'll never get enough. Just like if you think that you're gonna be happy when you hit this mark or this benchmark, you never will. If you focus on the journey, focus on pouring into others. And one of these tools is that, is that 3 things. I also have another tool that I literally call the 3 big things. And so every evening I'll check this and I'll set my 3 big things for the next day. So it's the main 3 things that I want to accomplish in that day. So I know that after I have my morning routine and everything, that I can go in and I'm setting, I'm setting up my schedule, setting up my habits. For my success. And hey, if I don't get all those 3 things done, that's okay. I'll put them on to the next day. But I know, I know that I am getting 1% better every day.

Well, I love that. And I love the number 3 too. But I love that you reach out to 3 people. And I think Community is, is huge. It's powerful. We are not meant to do things alone. We are built for connection. And when you, as you were saying you were reaching out to people and that does create such happiness and joy, it reminded me of something that I just saved this morning. I'm going to read it to you because it's, I love this. It says, a wise teacher once brought balloons to school, told her pupils to blow them up and write their name on one. After the children tossed their balloons into the hall, the teacher moved through the hall mixing them all up. The kids were given 5 minutes to find the balloon with their name on it, but though they searched frantically, no one found their own balloon. Then the teacher told them to take the balloon closest to them and give it to the person whose name was on it. In less than 2 minutes, everyone was holding their own balloon. The teacher said to the children, these balloons are like happiness. We won't find it when we are only searching for our own. But if we care about someone else's happiness, it will ultimately help us find our own.

That is really, really cool. That is so true.

Isn't it? One thing that has really helped me through my journey has been being of service and reaching out. Even if you, if you are listening to this and you are thinking, well, how can I be of service? How can I reach out to someone? I'm not doing well myself. You can always reach out and just check on someone and it makes them feel so heard and validated and cared for. And like you said, it can really change their day. But it also has— it's a gift to you because I promise you, if you reach out and you check on someone, it is going to make you feel better. you feel better. And so I love that you shared that and talk about waking up and you have your 3 things that you're excited about doing. You've got them on your list. Do you have a certain morning routine that you do?

Yeah, absolutely. I'm big on routines and it's, it's now become basically a lifestyle of mine. Like when I wake up, the first thing I do is take a 3-minute ice cold shower. First thing I do.

Okay. That dang Ice shower bath that everybody's talking about.

You know why I do it though? Because I have a chapter in the book, it's called Mental Dictatorship, and it's— I did this testing through myself and these NBA players that I worked with for over years. I just brought a stopwatch with me, and in starting something that they necessarily didn't feel like doing, I just hit this— hit the stopwatch and see how long it took before they started going and knew that they could get through it. 17 seconds is that number that kept coming up, the average number of when you start something, it takes 17 seconds for your mind to take over that mental dictatorship and to kick you into mode like, okay, I can get through this. So I start my day off that way of knowing like, hey, I don't really like getting in this ice cold shower. The first 17 seconds, they suck. But after that, it's great. And I know that, hey, anything that comes my way during the day, I can overcome it. And I can overcome it. And I know that anything that comes my way will make, will make me even, even stronger, even better, and able to teach others along the way. So that's how I start my day off. Then I always, then I always have prayer time. I have great coffee. I make great, great coffee.

Me too. It's a ritual.

Barista over here.

Me too.

Then I mean, I'll have my prayer time. I'll either have something that I'm reading, and I'll just journal. I'll say my— I set it up on, I'll have my joys, like I'll go over my joys from yesterday, go over what I'm looking forward to, who I'm praying for, who I can reach out to encourage. It's usually about 20-25 minutes, and I usually do a workout, and I'm on with my day. I already feel like I've won the day to start off with.

I love that, and I have a very similar routine, except I don't— I'm going to now include this in my journaling of who I'm praying for. I think that's really important. I also have an accountability partner. Well, I have a few. We have— like, I have a group that we're podcasters and we, you know, check in with each other. And then I have my God Squad, who— it's a group, me and a few girls, who we check in with each other. And then I have my accountability partner where We text each other every single morning what were 3 things, actually 3 things that we're grateful for, and whatever passage we have read that really, you know, sparked joy or gave us hope out of any books. And I read out of a few different books. And it doesn't take that long, but it really sets your day off in the best way because I think it's really easy to pick up your phone. And as soon as you pick up your phone and you see that you have 83 emails that you haven't read, and just from, you know, between 10 o'clock at night and 5 in the morning, how did you get that many emails? And some of you may have more than that, but like 83 is like, oh my God. And then you see all the notifications. It can really, you feel like an army has stormed into your bedroom and you've got to address everything. I like to prepare my day with my good coffee and I have my own frother and all that and wake up before, you know, the rest of my house is awake. I like having my quiet time. And you know what? Let me tell you. Good Lord, the school has started. Today was officially the first day of 7th grade. And so it's at home now. So you're looking at An algebra teacher, a science teacher. I'm good with being the PE teacher. But that's what's going on. And she's just finishing up school downstairs. And I was like, you have to be really quiet. And we have a friend over who is sitting at our dining room table 6 feet away. So at least they get to do this together, 6 feet away. I am so big on Don't do it alone. Ask for help, have some support, you know? And that was something that I learned along the way because I was like, oh, I got this. I'm not going to ask for help because then I'm not strong enough or whatever. And I'm like, I am, I am not afraid to ask for help or admit that I don't know how to do something because I want to learn. And so if anybody's out there listening and you're thinking, oh, I want to do a podcast or I want to write a book. Start asking, start doing, follow these steps. Now, what are some of your favorite action steps from your book? What would you say is your most favorite? Do you have a most favorite?

Oh, I got a lot of favorites. A lot. So each chapter has an action step at the end of it. And it's really hands-on to give you this action step to be able to learn and take this mindset pivot. And I'll also have little cue cards that'll say it, that'll have a saying, and I tell you where to place it around your house, like on your coffee cup or in your mirror, through your— in your car. So you're constantly reaffirming yourself in these, these positive affirmations on, on who you are. And it's, it's, it's really powerful for the subconscious to continue to see these things time and time again.

And I love that. Can I just tell you, I actually, I can't wait to read your book. I do that. Like, even on— like, I have on my wall above me, you've got this. I've got on my business card, you got this. Like, as simple as that is, I can just see, you got this.

What is your— oh, you have your apartment. I got some here with me right now, but they're just motivational quotes just scattered all over the place. I have my affirmation in the morning that I look at because here's my favorite action step I'll share with you. And I'm gonna share you my favorite tool as well is what I call the foggy mirror. So we wake up every morning with self-doubt. We, we all feel the imposter syndrome to some extent, and we feel self-doubt. Now that mirror, the mirror is foggy. That's the self-doubt. Now we have the decision, we have the choice, the superhero power of choice to take our hands, which we have with us at all times. This tool of our hands is so powerful. And we can wipe away that fog. And literally each morning— sorry, after my cold shower, after my ice cold shower, I do that motion wiping away the fog on the mirror to wipe away the self-doubt. And continuing to do that over and over again brings you in that self-awareness, confidence that, hey, you are enough, you do have a gift to share, and you can wipe away that self-doubt. Now also with these hands, as I'll go on with different action steps throughout the book, I have one about self-confidence hands. Like, these hands, your hands, you look at them right now, they've been through so much. Everything that you have gotten through, you have gotten through. It has made you stronger.

Mm-hmm.

And then you envision the most confident person in your life, whether it's a parent, a mentor, someone you look up to, the most confident person, or someone you want to be like, aspire to be like, and you see their hands as your hands. They can do it, you can do it. Like, they've been through it, you can be through it as well. And now With these hands. So every morning when I wake up as well, I look at my hands and I talk to the confidence hands. I talked about wiping away the foggy mirror with the hands. And then any room that I enter with these hands, it's bringing us back to where we're talking about the service mentality. I'll say the word serve. So I'll look at my hands and say the word serve when I enter a room, which takes a lot of pressure off myself because no longer is it about me, but it's about how I can serve the people in the room and Even now in this COVID time, whether you're typing an email, you can look at your hands and say serve, or even on your phone texting, you can say the word serve, but it just kicks your mind into this, into this state of, okay, once I quit worrying about myself and I pour into others and I give, give, give, give, give to others, everything comes back to you in the end as well. So these are the confident hands. Like, these hands we have with us all the time. They're a tool, the confidence hands. Wiping away the foggy mirror, the self-doubt. They're the service hands every room we enter. And then there are the encouragement hands. Like, there's an NBA player, was my favorite NBA player, his name is Steve Nash, and he led the NBA in high fives given every single game. Now, he's, he's like 6'2, unathletic, but he was, I mean, he was really good. But he led the NBA in high fives given, 239 a game. The guy won 2 MVPs because literally He was such a good team player. Everybody loved being around him. He just encouraged. He made everyone else around him better. So we use these hands even when we can't see each other. If we're on Zoom, you can give high fives. Part of the encouragement high fives is sending out those 3 texts every morning. So literally, you have this tool with you every single day, everywhere you go. And if you continue to do it, if you do it today, then do it tomorrow and create that habit, it becomes a lifestyle. And just an ultimate rhythm that you have. And you talked about having your kid there for homeschool, and then like you're becoming a better teacher, so you're learning in that, in that extent. But a lot of people are feeling this like overwhelm, and you check your phone right in the morning, it's overwhelm. Overwhelm is just crushing everybody. You feel like you're just trying to keep your head above water. I like to call it you are thriving instead of just surviving. And it's the full plate mentality is what I talk about. That's one of the, one of the cue cards that you put around. The full plate mentality, meaning, hey, what you're going to get done is already determined at the start of the day. Don't worry about it. Like, work, work as hard as you can, but know that, hey, you're not going to get more that's done than what God gives you on your plate. And that gives you just the freedom to be able to have your morning routines and to be able to shut it off in the evening and spend time with your family. That plate is full in the morning. Don't try to do more than what's on that plate.

That's so important. You know, my accountability partner this morning, she texted me, easy does it, and little sayings like that because she knows, like, I'm a go-getter. I want to just, like, get everything done and get it done really well. She always has to tell me, easy does it, like, Just one step at a time. Come on, like, hold the reins back on me a little bit. And I think that we need some time, like you said, to spend with our family to, to, and realize that we are in control of the pace. Like, when I know I have a full plate, it's because I have filled it. It's, you know, and we have the ability and like you say, the superpower of choice. To go. And there's this one word called no that was really hard for me to say for a long time. But you know what, saying no to certain things, like sometimes it might be hard, but I always ask myself, is this getting me closer to my goals? Is this filling my heart and my spirit? Is this filling my pocketbook? If it's not doing any of those things, Then the answers I have to say no. So I always ask myself those questions. But I love how you use tools to really because I'm a visual person. So you just talking about you know your hands being of service and and saying this isn't about you. This is about being of service. That takes all the pressure off when I remember I was on my way to go give my. first motivational talk. And I was speaking in front of a group of lawyers, realtors, and financial advisors. And I'm like, what the heck did they ask me to come here before? I didn't even own a suit. I like went out and bought like a suit to wear. And I'm on the way, my dad calls. And I'm like, I'm really nervous right now, Dad, I gotta go speak to these people. And I'm just so nervous. And he's like, Well, silly girl, you know, why would you want to do something like that? Don't you know that's the scariest thing, you know, besides death itself, is public speaking? And I was like, I know, I know. He goes, but you know what? Remember, this isn't about you. This is about being of service to them and what you're sharing and the gifts that you're giving them. And I immediately— I will never— I always think of my dad telling me that, like you think about your mom. Those little things that she would say to you, and then it just really kicked in and you were able to kind of pivot. It's those little things. And so, you know, you never know what you say that can really impact someone's life. You know, just by you reaching out to 3 people, you could really be lifting somebody's spirits by just reaching out to them.

I love that story so much because it's literally the same story is mine. When I gave my first big motivational talk, I literally had acted like I had done it a million times before, so they thought I was this big motivational speaker. And I'm sitting there and I'm go— I'm about to go on stage in front of about 3,000 people, like it's their big yearly event, and I am nervous as can be. And I thought of 2 things. I thought of the hands, the service hands, like, hey, if they can take one thing away from this It's— that's all worth it. It's not about me. And also one of my friends said, hey, if you feel nervous, like, that's a great thing. Like, if you don't feel nervous, you're not alive.

Oh, it's scary. If I don't feel nervous, I'm like, what's wrong? Why am I not nervous right now?

Exactly. You channel those nerves. And I always have a saying when I step on stage now is bring it on. Like, bring the nerves on. It's going to help me, give me more energy and power me through it. So it's That's so cool that you, that you did that as well. And I think that's really important for people to understand also, like going through a difficult situation and failure itself, like failure, everybody's afraid of failure. Like, it's like you don't want to go through those discomforting times. It's not just a way, an option that we can grow and learn. It is the only way we can learn and grow. Like, we don't grow through anything other than failing or going through difficult situations. So It's a really freeing mindset to know that, hey, if something comes my way, if something's very tough to get through, like a lot of people are going through tough times financially and very tough times during this crisis, like you're going to be stronger when you come out of this thing. Or like for yourself, when you're going through your leg almost being amputated, like think about this. There's somebody else. I'm sure you've probably already done it that, that, you know, who's kind of going through the same type of situation as you. And now you can be that voice of encouragement, positivity to them, and might be what actually makes them get through it because you have already been through it.

And, you know, when we are in the moment of going through a hard time or a challenging time, you know, I have thought at some of the worst moments of my life, you know, when I was going through a divorce when I was really young, and then I was a single mom, and I thought I felt so alone and like nobody understands. how hard this is. Or when I was even, you know, when I was first diagnosed with this nerve disease dubbed the suicide disease that there's no known cure for, I was like, it's so rare. Nobody understands it. Nobody gets this. And when you're going through that hard time, I guarantee you there is somebody. And what I've learned, there is somebody out there that has gone through something exactly the same, or if not exactly, almost the same as you, and they've gotten through it. And when you can find people that have gotten through those hard times, that's what gives you the hope. And just that 1% of hope carries you so far. I love so much about all that you share. One of the things that you speak on a lot is about how to build confidence. And that's something I really lacked, especially after my motorcycle accident. I had no confidence. And then, you know, when you're first starting out doing anything new, I wasn't the most confident in my speaking. One of my very first talks that I gave was in front of 3,000 people. And I was sharing the stage with Mel Robbins.

Wow.

Lewis Howes, Jay Shetty. Who else was there? I mean, Brandon Burchard, the top speakers. And then there was me. And so I was so nervous. I was backstage praying and doing pushups. And people thought I was a total whack job because they're like, who's the chick in the skirt doing pushups? You know? But I didn't have the confidence. And only through Doing those hard things and each time learning how I can get better that I start to build more confidence. But what do you tell people if they're like, I just don't have confidence, I'd love to build my confidence? How— what do you do to them, whether it's your clients or if it's, you know, you're coaching basketball players or, or you're speaking?

That is such a good question. And That is literally the epitome of what I do for NBA players. And I have 7 steps to develop unshakable confidence that I'll go through them. And there's certain ones like confidence through comparison, where most people think comparison is a bad thing, but actually, if you're comparing yourself to the person you want to be like, or the person you strive to be like— not, not being them in every way, but comparing yourself— you get a lot of confidence that they've done it, you can do it.

Well, that's one way to look at it.

Yeah.

Because, and I love that approach of looking at it because a lot of times people go, oh, look at what they've done. There's no way I could ever do that. But see, I love your positive mindset that you look at it as they've done it. I can do it too. There's plenty. You look at everything, I think, from a place of abundance. There's plenty for us all.

Yeah, and that's for sure. And it's just a different pivot of the mindset, the way you look at a word. I also do confidence through strength focus. Most of us think that we have to raise our weaknesses, but we are given a God-given ability, a strength, for a reason and a purpose. We don't all have the same ones, but that's what builds the ultimate team. I call weaknesses compliments wishlists. So you add yourself, your strengths, to other people around you and make this ultimate team in this culture. So focus on your strengths. More than your weakness. Like in the NBA, if a player is good in every area, they're not playing in the NBA. But if they're great in one area, they can have a long, long, long career.

Wow.

I talk about confidence through redefining vocabulary, kind of like we were just talking about. Like, but even failure— like, failure doesn't have to mean something bad. We all grow up with these terms, these, these terms built into our subconscious that mean something. But like, for an NBA player that comes to me I'll ask them, when was your last shooting slump? Meaning like when they've had a bad shooting stretch and I can see their body language kind of crumble. They're like, you know, I missed 5 shots in a row last game. You guys can't make it. Or like, like you're talking with yourself about the motorcycle or thinking you're up there on stage with these other big speakers. But, but really, and then so when I understand what their, what their slump is, I'll say, hey, when was the last time you were in a shooting hippopotamus? And they'll look at me, they're like, David, you're crazy. What are you talking about? But all that was is a word. So our subconscious is so tied to these words like failure or slump or success or the rich— what being rich really means. Like, we don't have— we can redefine vocabulary to what it means for us. And that's why I'm so big on redefining, creating your own blueprint to redefine your success. And I'll have confidence through Creating your highlight reel. All my NBA players will have their two to three minute highlight reel when they were just killing it, when they were on top of the world, when they were doing their best game. And we've all had that moment, whether it's on a call or whether it's on giving a talk or in a meeting where we were just crushing it, on fire, in the zone, in the flow. And you recreate that in your mind. You recreate it daily in your mind. I have them look at. I have my NBA players watch their their highlight reel. They like to call it their swag highlight reel. They watch it every morning when they wake up, right before they step on court for practice, and right before they step on court for the game. So they're living in that moment of, this is who I am, who I was at my best. This is who I can be, not what the world might be saying, or if I'm failing what the world says, but I am that highlight reel person.

Oh, I love that. I mean, I love that for anybody. Whether, you know, you're a mom, or because a lot of times when you're a mom, you're using, you know, you don't even have time to wash your hair. You maybe live in your sweats. But if you create a highlight reel of when you have got it together going on as a mom and you've, you know, whatever that may look like, you nailed the, you know, the homeschooling and cooked a dinner and the house is clean. And like, yeah, I can do that. Or for, for speaking or interviews, whatever you might be doing, to look at that highlight reel, because you said what the world can see. But for me, I can be my own worst critic and I can just focus on, you know, not my highlight reel, but like all the times I failed, like you said. So that is such a good tip. I am totally going to do that.

Yeah, do it. But it's, it's an actionable tool. And like we talked about earlier, like, I love the whys and the purposes, but, but too, too often we read books, we listen to podcasts, and we don't have any takeaways. Like, give me some hows. I need some tangible blueprint action tools to take, and give me some hows. And that's a powerful one. Another powerful one I use for confidence is what I call the confidence Q word. So a player or anybody in life will have a word that they say that just brings them back to even keel, just to Whether something's going really crazy out of control, they can say a word. Like one of my players' words is unshakable. They say that, boom, they're back in their moment, they're back in their confident self. A cue word. It's kind of like the movie Inception where there's that little top spinning. Whenever you see the top, it kicks you back into the same area. So confidence through developing a cue word. And I challenge people to get to your cue word. So no matter if the fire is coming on you, the storm's crashing in, You say that word, everything is calm. And then, like you talked about as well, confidence through preparation. Like, there is no substitution for the 10,000 hours rule.

Mm-hmm.

I mean, it's just so real. Like, the more work that you put in, the more confident you're going to be. Not just because you've gained your skillset from that, but if you have the knowledge that, hey, I put in more work than anybody else, there is a lot of confidence, a lot of confidence in that. So confidence through preparation. And so there's a lot of different tools that I give to players, but to wrap it all up, like, if you just take one thing away to develop confidence, it's about developing what true confidence is, and that is true self-awareness. Like, you don't base your happiness, your joy on success, on your resume, on results, on Instagram followers. No, you base it on what you stand for.

Mm-hmm.

Whether you stand for being a great husband, a great wife, a great friend, you stand for supporting a cause, like that, you feel this comfortability in who you are. And not like, yeah, you rise and fall depending on what these other people in the world are saying about you.

Oh, that's powerful. I love that. You have shared so many great just nuggets of wisdom and actionable, actionable tools that people can take away and do today. And you guys, go, go out and buy his book. I mean, You might— it might take a little bit to get it because it is like hot right now. Everybody's grabbing this book. But I would like to ask you one last question, too. And I would love to know, what is your definition of resilience?

Resilience is the epitome of being relentlessly consistent, just being consistent in who you are, resilient in who you are every single day, no matter what's going on in your life. People around you know that you're going to be the same. You're going to come with joy. You're going to come with encouragement, positivity. And people can count on you to be that same consistent person. I think, I think that is the biggest compliment anybody can get, that you're consistent. And to me, that is what resiliency is.

Oh, I love that. Well, tell us where we can find your book and where we can find you, your website, and also follow you on social media and see the behind the scenes of everything that you do and your lovely wife who is not— I mean, she's drop-dead gorgeous. And I love hearing the interaction. I can tell y'all have a lot of fun.

Oh, she is so much more cooler than I am. Like, when we talk about better halves, it's that, it's that to a T. So yeah, check out my Instagram, David Nurse MBA, just so you can see my wife and All social media is David Nurse NBA. Book is wherever books are found, Amazon, my website, davidnurse.com. I have a podcast, The 1% Podcast, which I'm going to have you on to tell your story, which will be amazing.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah. Or you can come out to LA and then hang with us.

Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully I'll get to see you for your podcast in person because we're not too far from each other. We could just do 6 feet apart.

We should do that. That'd be fun.

Yeah, it would be fun. Um, I know you are just like in the middle of your book launch and you are so busy doing so much right now. And I just really appreciate you taking the time to share all your tips and tools and wisdom here on the show. So thank you so much for being on the show.

Oh, thank you so much for having me. And I've always said, if I get the opportunity to have a platform or be able to do shows and stuff like this, like, I'm going to do every single one of them. Take— be in the moment with every single person that I'm with. It's such a blessing to be able to do this, and such a blessing to be on your show. Like, you have amazing guests.

Aww.

Your, your positivity is just juicing me up even more. It's, it's about being around people that are like infectious with that positivity, and iron sharpens iron, and that is That is the epitome of who you are.

Oh, thank you. I feel your energy too through the screen. I love it. So thank you so much.

Thank you.

Thanks so much for joining us this week on True Grit and Grace Podcast. If you like it, please rate it or share it with your friends. That would help too. If you're not yet on the newsletter list, come over to amberlylago.com and jump on it. While you're there, you can grab a free downloadable gratitude journal, and you might just want to check out my book or even check out my monthly motivational membership. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next week.