Recognize Your Value and Become a Top Earner Through Network Marketing with Ray Higdon

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace Podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hey, welcome to the True Grit and Grace Podcast. podcast. I'm so grateful that you have tuned in today. I have waited for about a year to have this incredible guest on my show. We shared the stage at a speaking event and I was like, oh my gosh, this man's incredible. I have got to share his story, his wisdom, and his heart for helping others with my True Grit and Grace listeners. So I have my good friend Ray Higdon with us. And, um, I think I just said your last name. I always— did I say that okay?

I think Higdon.

Higdon.

It's, yeah, it's simple. It's simpler than you would think.

Yes. I always think, okay, let me practice saying his last name. Okay. Then I get all nervous and I don't say it right. But I just love how you really help entrepreneurs find the money, the freedom, have healthy relationships. And I love your story of how you have overcome so much. Y'all, I binge watch his reels on Instagram. He's incredible. He's an author. He's an incredible speaker. And he is somebody who helps so many people to really live the life they've always dreamed of. So, Ray, thank you for being on the show. And I'm so grateful to get to talk with you again.

Yeah, thank, thank you. Thanks for having me. And, and yeah, I was blown away when I saw you speak. And I love your stuff too. It's awesome.

Oh my goodness. Well, I—

Grit and Grace is the perfect name for your podcast. It's just perfect.

Well, thank you. And you know, when I met you, I was like, oh my gosh, you've overcome so much. And I just— your love story with your wife is beautiful. And I love that you share how she was really your rock for a while when y'all first met. You know, you— and you know what, Ray, just the other day, so I was telling you, I just finished doing my first 2-day in-person event.

Yeah.

And my daughter came to stay with me in the hotel when the event was over. And they're starting to talk to her about college and stuff like that in school. And she goes, Mom, where did you go to college? And I said, actually, I didn't go to college. She goes, Lame. And I'm like, well, to do what I do, you don't need to go to college. I was like, if you want to be an engineer, you want to be a lawyer or doctor, then you need school. And one of the things that I love that you share is how you didn't finish high school on time. You didn't finish college, I don't think.

Nope.

And yet here you are, a freaking multimillionaire, successful badass doing your, your in-person event. I was like, oh, I just did my first in-person event that was 2 days, and I had 35 people. And you're doing one with Joe Dispenza as one of the speakers and expecting thousands of people online and hundreds in person. And so I'm amazed with you. But before we get into how you did it, I would love if you shared kind of where you came from, because you come from some trauma and abuse that you've overcome. So can you take us back to— I want the listeners to understand, because if they're stuck in a place where they're that victim that they that they can be the victor of their life?

So, I think probably the best way to share it is my really deep journey began really about 3 years ago.

Was it just 3 years ago?

Well, the deep inner journey. Okay. I overcame a lot of financial stuff, but the really deep inner journey just came in the last, like, 3 years. And I'm going to kind of reverse flow this story. And so my wife and I, we were at a, we're at a charity event. And one of our neighbors came up to us and said, hey, do you see the, you know, the trip to Belize? You know, they have these, you know, charity events where they auction off, you know, trips is a very common thing. And I'm like, you know, no. And she said, oh my God, it looks amazing. It's a, it's a private island. It's, it's 5 couples only. It's private jet, private chef, and my wife is like, whoo, you know, she's all excited and everything. And in my head, I thought, I hope we don't get that. I just had like a sense of like terror. It just sounded terrible to me. And on the way home, I'm like, what the hell's wrong with me, man? I should have the reaction like Jess of, ooh, like, that sounds amazing. And so something that we teach is pluck the weeds and pluck the weeds. is a concept of look at every area of your life and see what's incongruent with who you want to be. And so I had found a weed, like I had this something, what the heck was it? And so I have a friend of mine who's a hypnotist and therapist. And, you know, I'm like, hey, can you help me figure this out? And he helped me remember something that I had blocked. In the third grade, you know, I was in a very abusive home from kindergarten to sixth grade. Kindergarten to sixth grade, very abused home. And I remember in the third grade, and I'd blocked this out, but he helped me remember this. In the third grade, I had a guidance counselor, and my teacher, I'm assuming, knew something was off and had me start meeting with the guidance counselor. And I don't know, I mean, it's third grade, whatever. And so I start meeting with this, you know, pretty young, cool, you know, lady. And it was nice because I never got to talk to anybody. I mean, you know, I didn't go to anyone's house. No one was allowed at my house. When I got home from school, I had to stay outside until it was dark. When it was dark, I went to my room by myself. I literally never talked to anybody. And so she's asking me all these questions.

Did you grow up in like an alcoholic home? Or why did you have to stay outside?

Um, I mean, my guess is just, I think my stepmom despised me and my mom and the, like, just thinking about my mom so much that she just didn't want to see me, like I was maybe disgusting to her would be my guess. And so I start sharing some of the things, you know, with the guidance counselor, eventually I trust her, I start sharing, and, you know, sharing how You know, hey, you know, some days I was, you know, coming to school wearing a turtleneck because the claw marks on my neck were so deep. Or how one time I was, um, not feeling good. I had some kind of stomach bug or something and threw up in my cereal. And then when I refused to eat it, uh, I was stabbed in the chest. And so hardcore stuff, not, not great. And I share these things with her and it actually felt good. Felt good to talk to somebody. for a change. One day I show up and it's her, my dad, and my stepmom, and she proceeds to tell them everything I've ever told her because she thought they were too outrageous. The stories were too outrageous, and that I was just crying for attention. And so that—

But how could you even make something like that up? You know what I mean? Like such vivid description.

Yeah. I don't think— I really think she thought she was doing the best thing. I'm not mad at her or anything like that. But that, number one, was a bad day, as you can imagine. Number two, that was the day I stopped trusting anybody. And when you don't trust anybody, you show up in a certain way. So going back to the Belize trip, that was like prison. I would have to open up. I would have to talk to people. I'm literally on an island. I can't escape because in the past I would go speak at an event and then rush back to my hotel room because I had such social anxiety. I remember hyperventilating at Funnel Hackers Live. I'm about to go on stage and I'm in this lobby with a bunch of people. I start like hyperventilating. I'm like, what the hell is wrong with me, man? And all of that is when you don't trust anyone, You don't let them connect with you. And so, I saw Jerry Seinfeld share this on a special. He said, you don't understand. I can speak to all of you, but I can't speak to any of you. He said, when I come off stage, like, I'm not who you think I am. And that used to be me. I used to really struggle with that. And I had to become aware of how was I showing up and me being so afraid of being betrayed again. And that was a big breakthrough for me on coaching others because I now know that, you know, others also created a meaning that they've been carrying for their entire life. And if you can help them with becoming aware of how they're showing up, they have a possibility of change.

Wow, that is so powerful. And, you know, it's so— I'm so glad you shared that because There was someone who just attended my event and she was having major anxiety before the event and she was messaging me like, I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to be around that many people. Um, she's actually used to being around one person at a time and she's like, I'm not sure. And I said, hey, they're lovely, amazing, passionate, faith-filled, you know, heart-centered women. I said, I think, I think that you're gonna like them and they're gonna love you. I said, but why don't you just give it a try and take breaks when you need them and I'll understand. But by the end, it was great. By the end, she was there and she actually messaged, I wish the event was longer and we had one more day.

Nice.

But it's interesting. And I feel the same a lot of times when I go speak at events. I need my pri— I, I do. I love people and I love being one-on-one and on stage, but I really need some downtime by myself after an event. Are you like that?

I definitely used to be. I really don't.

Mine's more about energy. Like, I need to, like, uh, get, get energized. Again. Yeah. And you know what, Ray, when we were on stage at Steven's event and we were standing in one place, that's the hardest thing for me to stand in one place with my leg and the CRPS. And I like to forget that I even have that, but boy, it lets me know.

Yeah.

And I started getting anxiety actually on that stage and looking for places to sit because I was like, I don't know how much I can stand. In this one spot. So I think mine is more about recovering, letting the pain subside a little bit, because once I'm done with stage, like, the adrenaline has left the building and the pain starts to return. But that is so interesting that you used hypnotherapy and a therapist to, like, help you see where that was coming from. And I think that's something we all should do is like, where is that reaction coming from? Where it— what's the root of that? And I would love to talk about your daily ritual and what you do, because what you shared, I was blown away. When did you start meditating for an hour a day? Do you still do that? Do you still meditate for an hour?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm trying to remember because I've added, I've changed some things over the last little bit. I'm probably close to 2 years. that I've been meditating every day. And I mean, in the beginning, I, I just couldn't sit still for, you know, 5 minutes. But for a good last year or so, I've been doing 60 to 90 minutes a day, every day.

And when do you do that?

Uh, it depends. Um, so, um, many days I, I get up very, very early. Um, And I've now— I'm not sure. I don't know if we— I don't know if we go here or not. I'm not sure if it's my higher self or a type of chemical addiction. But around, you know, 3 or 4 AM, I usually am awake and, and I'm just, I'm just feeling this intuitive push to get up and do it. And so, you know, like, really, You know, like this morning, I woke up and it was 3:44. And I woke up looking at the thing and I laid back down and I definitely could have laid back down. I laid back down. And it was like someone was shining a flashlight in my face. And I think that sometimes when you, when you go into this kind of practice, you, you get different signs and you get, you just get different nudges and interesting things happen. And so Most mornings I'm up, you know, around before 4:30 usually. And so that's typically when I'll, or that is when I, when I do it.

You get up at 4:30 in the morning and then—

Sometimes earlier.

Sometimes earlier. And when do you end your workday? Because I want to talk to you about workaholic and how you got over that. So when do you end your workday?

I mean, that, that depends. So usually how, How most of my mornings go is I get up 4-ish, whatever. I do meditation, I do a morning journaling, and I go to the gym. And that's, you know, I'm usually done by like 6:45, 7:00 a.m. And then kids are usually up helping mama get them all ready for school and that. You know, that kind of stuff. And then, you know, 8 o'clock to usually like 11 is kind of more me time of doing different things, right? I'm not really working that hard, but, you know, doing different things. And so usually my workday is like 11 to like 4:30, and then often I'll have something at night. But there's a difference between, you know, number of hours worked and being a workaholic. To me, for me, being a workaholic was constantly thinking that the work I was doing was going to make me feel better. And it was a coping mechanism of me not feeling good about myself, and that the only way for me to feel good about myself was to be doing something. And you'll see this with people, like if you're at a family reunion, Or a family gathering, there's usually one person that's doing all the cleaning, right? Like, they're cleaning up, they're gathering stuff, they're doing stuff, and they probably don't know it, but they're doing it to avoid connection. They're doing it because of a self-worth issue. Typically, it's the same thing, just on a different scale. I mean, I've had clients that do $20 million a month, and, but they struggle with their relationships, they struggle with their parenting, and, you know, so they're not fulfilled. And like Tony Robbins says, success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. And so, it's that I thought my first million-dollar year, that'll make me feel good about myself, my first million-dollar month, my first million-dollar day. And none of those did anything to make me feel better about myself. They hit numbers and I got praise and people seemed to like it, but it didn't do anything for me to make me feel good. And so, that's a different journey. That's an internal journey. That's the journey no one wants to do. It's one thing to do videos when you don't feel like it. It's another thing to dig in and say, who am I? How do I think, act, and feel? What is my personality? What is my state of being? How do I react to life circumstances? How do I show up? That's a very, very different dive. And most people don't want to do that dive. They'd rather learn a tactic. They'd rather learn a strategy, right?

And a tip, trick, strategy. Like, this is the tool. Oh, if you just do these 5 things, everything's great. But yeah, I'm sober. So I went through the 12 steps of recovery. And part of that is really digging deep and doing your personal defects where you look at all the things, all your shortcomings, and you really figure those out. And it's funny, my husband and I were just talking this morning. We were sitting at the table eating, talking about fulfillment. And I'm, I'm like, well, honey, what fulfills you? And he was like, Well, you do, but you're not doing it lately. And I'm like, well, no, no one can fulfill you. You need to find your own fulfillment. He's like, don't you tell me that. That's why I married you. You know? And so we were going back and forth. But when did you know, oh my goodness, I think I'm a workaholic? Because I remember when I was, oh gosh, I got a problem. I think I'm an alcoholic. That was when I was like coping, trying to use alcohol as medicine.

Yeah.

After being diagnosed with CRPS. And then I'm like, I don't want to slip into replacing that with being a workaholic. When did you realize, gosh, I am a workaholic? Like, I'm just like counting on these numbers and constantly thinking about work and using that to, you know, I'm going to feel better when this and that. When did you realize that?

I think I realized it. When I started becoming more aware of how I showed up as a parent, and I didn't have a great model, you know, I didn't have a great example. I don't remember my dad literally ever playing with me. And so I didn't have a great model. When I would go to play with the kids, roughly 3 to 4 minutes in, I felt just the compulsion to look at my phone, or I got to do something or whatever. It was like that all the time. And so I bet a lot of people listening are going, that's me. Yeah, I always felt the need to be doing something. I have to be doing something. I have to. And so like, the people, you know, when you are scared of connection, because the, because the conclusion I drew, and this is what happens is people draw a conclusion and they create a meaning and a paradigm as a kid.

Yeah.

And it just carries with them their whole life, but they're never aware of it because it protects itself, it hides itself. And so when you are scared of connection because of past betrayal, you just think everyone's going to betray you. And so if you think everyone's going to betray you, then just don't let anyone in, and it won't hurt when they do. And so that was even showing up even with my kids, you know, which is absurd, which is unfair to them, and unfair You know, to me too. And, and so when I realized that, um, I'm like, okay, you know, I, I gotta work on this. And the best thing that helped me with that, 2 things. One, meditation, certainly, right? To calm those brainwaves, to calm that monkey mind, to, you know, tame the animal. And 2, morning journaling. So you mentioned, you know, the, the 12— I haven't been through the 12 steps, but you mentioned the 12 steps and finding your defects. The way that I do a morning journal, I find yesterday's defects every day. And so I do an audit. So there's 4 components to the morning journal. One, just how am I feeling, right? How do I feel today? Number 2, how do I not want to show up today?

Hmm.

And it has me audit the day before. And I look at relationships. I look at, was I kind, present, and loving? Was I interested in others? Was I compassionate? Did I play big, you know, if that was needed in that situation? Was I a good mentor to my kids? And so every single morning I'm auditing the day before and looking at where did I show up that's incongruent with who I want to be? And then next is how do I want to show up? That's what allows me to catch these things that otherwise I wouldn't catch. And so that's what's helped me chip away at these tendencies and these behaviors that are so easy to be.

Yeah.

Shoved under the rug.

That's so amazing. And wow, for just taking accountability for how you're showing up is incredible. As far as your morning ritual, um, you get up and you've done most things, like it's 6:45 and you've done your workout, you've done your meditation, you've done your journaling, everything. You're ready to go. How much sleep do you get every night?

That's varied over the years. I don't know if it's a condition or what, but I've just never slept a lot. And I don't know, I don't take naps. I don't feel tired throughout the day. And meditation has definitely allowed me to operate on even less sleep. But I don't set an alarm ever.

I don't ever set an alarm. Ever.

I never set an alarm.

That is like ultimate trust in yourself. That's amazing.

The way I figure it is, hey, if my body really needs more, then I'm not going to force it. And so maybe once a month or maybe once every other month, I'll wake up and it'll be, you know, 6 o'clock and, you know, and that's, that's really rare. Usually it's much earlier. So I'm usually going to bed anywhere from 10, 10:30, 11. So it's usually around 5 hours is, is kind of the, the normal. Not that I try to make it that. I don't, because people yell at you, you got to get 8 hours. And I know I don't recall the last time I've had 8 hours. I think meditation does grant you some downtime brainwave-wise. It's just a little bit different than sleeping more hours. That's my take.

And who got you into meditation?

Yeah, so I follow Dr. Joe, and he's, like you said, he's speaking at this event, and he spoke at last year's event as well. My good friend Gabe, and Gabe, he was one of my groomsmen. He's just awesome. Just awesome dude. He came to me, he'd had some really profound transformations from Dr. Joe's work and retreats. And so, you know, I started getting into it and, you know, did it all wrong for months, and then kind of learned how to do it right. And, you know, I know, I remember, you know, walking down the street one day, and I'm just like, I noticed 2 things. One, My mind wasn't racing like crazy. And 2, I just felt lighter. I just felt like, I don't know, I just, I just felt different. And people started telling me, they're like, what? You seem different. Like, what? Something's changed or something. And I noticed I started getting less irritated. I started getting less anxious, less agitated, and just, you know, things just started improving. And, and so I'm just very, very grateful for Dr. Joe and all his work.

And my friend, did you do meditation when you first started guided meditation, or did you just go, I'm going to close my eyes and meditate? How did you get it? Like, how did you start?

So I started with Dr. Joe. I pretended to meditate years ago, and I didn't really know what I was doing, so I didn't really. So I started with Dr. Joe. He has a morning meditation on iTunes, and it's like 23 minutes. And about 3 minutes in, you know, you're supposed to sit up, right? And so about 3 minutes in, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm doing this, you know, I'm stretching, I'm, I'm standing up and then I lay down, right? And so like, I'm a wreck. I'm an idiot. And, and I tell my buddy, I think like most people, the conclusion that most people draw is I tell my buddy, I'm like, hey man, I don't think I'm cut out for meditation, man. I think it's just this guy in meditation. I don't think. And he just started laughing. He's like, of course, he says, you have to tame the animal. And I'm like, what? He said, you got to tame the animal. You got to tell the animal, the body, that you're sitting today. You got to tell the mind, the animal, that we're doing this meditation. And that really turned me on. Like, oh, this is like a normal thing, and only champions overcome it. Like, that was kind of a challenge, right? And so now I've done you know, 4-hour meditations without moving a muscle. And, and so, you know, it's, it's something that, like most things, or perhaps all things in my life, I started off doing terribly and doing all wrong. And just with enough stubbornness and enough desire to improve, I've, you know, gotten a lot better at it.

I'm stubborn, and I have a desire to improve. So I know that I'm gonna go listen to Dr. Joe Dispenza on iTunes.

Yeah.

And start that tomorrow, tonight.

Yeah. And it is guided. It is guided.

You asked the question. Yeah. That's good to know. I think that I'll do much better with guided. I mean, I've tried the Calm app and stuff like that.

Yeah.

Now I want to like totally kind of switch gears into, you are like, you talk to how help network marketers. And I didn't even know exactly what that was, to be honest with you. I just knew it wasn't good. That's what I had always heard. Oh, it's not good. It's not good. Stay away. MLM. Oh, stay clear of that. You know? But now I actually take a product that I didn't even know it was an MLM. My girlfriend gave it to me. I'm like, hey, I love this. Yeah, she's a nurse. I'm like, well, she retired as a nurse. She's totally doing this business now.

Yeah.

And by the way, a millionaire from it.

Yeah.

But she was like, oh, that's part of my business. And I'm like, okay, whatever. What is it? Just, can you give me the link so I can order more? And it took a while, but then people were asking me, hey, how do you have so much energy? They started asking me. Now I haven't dove into it as much, and I would love to learn. And I'm sure my audience would love to learn because I do have a lot of network marketers that listen to the show.

Yeah.

I have a lot of entrepreneurs that listen to the show and I have a lot of people that don't have jobs and they probably have no idea. Like I have a lot of people that have chronic illness and they might be on disability or they might need more income to even pay for medication. And they have no idea that there is such an easy way to make money. With network marketing. I mean, it's not easy. You have to actually work to do it, but it's possible and you can do it from home. Why do you think network marketing has such a bad rap?

The good thing about network marketing is also one of its bad things, and that is it's such low barrier to entry. And so here's how I define network marketing. Like, here's my description of it. Network marketing is the lowest risk, lowest overhead way for the average ordinary person to start a business. And you have a lot of people that have never read a book on sales, marketing, persuasion, psychology, never read an Inc. book, a Forbes, a Fortune, watched Shark Tank, etc. All of a sudden they got a business. And so it's very low risk. Someone who would never consider opening a restaurant and dropping $200,000 to start it, you'll see own a business in network marketing. So it's one of its greatest strengths is also one of its greatest weaknesses in that you have a lot of people that spent a little amount of money, a couple hundred bucks usually, to start a business and they're not trained. And so if someone's just not trained, like if you took untrained people and you put them selling anything, right? Like throw them on a car lot. What would they do if they knew absolutely nothing of what to do? They would be like, hey, don't you need a car? Come on. Hey, this is nice, right? You know, they would hype it. It's fast. It's, you know, they would hype it. It wouldn't be— it'd be a weird process and you'd be like, what is going on here?

Instead of getting to know their customer and ask questions about what they need or building a relationship with them.

Yeah. And so, but what I— there's many things I love about it, but one thing I really love is that it's a gateway drug. There's a lot of people that go on to be massively successful outside of network marketing That got the the bug in network marketing, such as Tony Robbins, such as Jim Rohn, such as you you know you could list out. I know so many people they got in network marketing. Maybe that was or wasn't a fit for them, but that's what gave them the bug of self-development, of improvement, of understanding cash flow and passive income and and sales and marketing. And so the reason it gets such a bad rap is because of network marketers, not because of network marketing. And so no one is offended if they really think about it of, wait a minute, you're going to pay me to tell people about a product I like? No one's turned off by that, but they're turned off when it's hyped. When someone says you don't have to sell anything, you know, you can make a bunch of money and, you know, and we don't use the term easy, but we say simple. It's a simple process.

Yeah, that's a better word. Not easy necessarily. It's easy.

Simple is tough. Right? It's tough to say that because there is no business that's easy. Every business, you're going to have to roll up your sleeves and go to work. And some businesses will have higher overheads, you know, restaurants. So, you know, you're looking at hundreds of thousands of dollars. I had an advertising franchise. It was $40,000 to start and a few thousand bucks a month. And, you know, to use a name no one had heard of, but whatever. And so with network marketing, for example, we have 2 speakers at our event that earn over $10 million a year and from network marketing solely. And, you know, they started for a couple hundred bucks. Now, they did the work. They did a lot of work.

That's my good friend that got me into network marketing. She worked hard in the beginning to get her leaders underneath her or on her downline. I'm learning all the lingo, Ray. Yeah, learning all the lingo. But yeah, it's, I'm still, I have so much to learn about it. I'm so new at it. And there's a lot to learn, but you give such good strategies. But what you said, like, there are so many people in the self-development, a lot of speakers, a lot of big names out there that they got their start with network marketing. I know a lot of them that got their start in, in Beachbody and yeah.

Yeah. It's something that I'm very grateful for. I mean, that's what pulled me out of foreclosure after I lost it all in real estate. No one was hiring. I was in the state of Florida. I was—

And what year was that?

That was 2009. So I lost everything in the real estate crash, went through a divorce, sleeping on my buddy's couch. I didn't know what I was going to do. And I also had— I had actually tried network marketing and I had some bad experiences. I didn't want to do it, but it's like, I'm broke. I don't have much money. Like, like, I'm like, I'm gonna figure this thing out. And I went on to become the number one incomer of that company. And so I'm very grateful for it, for, you know, for, you know, my thing. I no longer build a team, but I do coach and train a lot of network marketers. And it's something that it's so brilliant. You don't have to figure out supply chain management. You don't have to have a staff. You don't have to have customer support. That's handled for you. And so there's There's so much you don't have to figure out. You just have to do what you would have to do in every other business, which is learn promotion, marketing, sales, follow-up, all the basics you have to learn in any other business you start anyway. It's just you have all the risk in all those other businesses. You know, like I'm sure that, you know, you have salaried people you take care of and, you know, we have 6-figure a month, you know, salaries that we pay out to people as well. And we're very grateful to be able to do that. You just don't need to do that with network marketing because the majority of the, you know, all the shipping, all the comp plan stuff, all the supply chain, like all that stuff's done for you. And so we don't think it's for everybody because if you're easily offended, you're going to struggle with people hating on you. And some people will.

I had spoken at a book club for a network marketing company and Uh, I guess somebody that was in network marketing was using me to say, hey, take this product. It cured Amberly Lago of CRPS. And so they reached out to me and said, hey, I heard that this product cured you. And I was like, well, first of all, no, it did not cure me. I was like, but—

See, that's an untrained person.

That's an untrained person. Yeah. You really answer a lot of questions about how to do better in sales. What do you think is your number one tip for people who, let's say they're trying to sell an energy drink. What is the number one tool you could suggest to them to do to start to sell that product online on social media?

Yeah. So, uh, if I, if I'm limited to one tip, I would say—

No, give us as many, give us more then. But what's your top tip?

I'll give you 2 things. Okay. First of all, and first will be most direct to your answer, and that is instead of marketing the what, right? I have this thing for sale.

Okay.

Instead of marketing the what, think about the who. Who might take this or who might get benefit from this? One of my mantras is help the person you used to be. So if you have a product and that product helped you have more energy or sleep better or whatever, Think about the person you used to be and create content that would turn them on and help them, right? Versus be so focused on pushing the what. I have this thing for sale.

Yeah, it's like when people have some fancy drink and it's just the picture of them and the drink. Like, drink this, drink this. Yeah, that's all I am. Yeah, this is me. This is This is the— I'm the product. That's it. But instead of— yeah.

And so instead, just think about, like, if I sold a, you know, something to help with sleep, right? I would think about the person that struggles with sleep and I would create content to turn them on and have them start watching me and we start connecting. They start asking, what else do I do? You know, and that's how I'll make a whole bunch of sales. Without having a video that has me popping the pill or whatever. So that would be one. And then number 2, just in general, is something network marketing and sales in general is not magical or mystical, right? It is numbers, you know? And so pipeline, you know, what is your pipeline? You know, how many people are you talking to, following up with, setting appointments with, etc.? How many people are you doing demonstrations for, sending samples to, etc.? And that's true of any performance-based thing. There's a pipeline. So a lot of times, especially in network marketing, I hear this because people aren't trained like this and they'll say, well, I don't know why I'm not making money. And I'll say, okay, how many people last week did you ask if they were open to taking a look at your product, service, or opportunity? Well, none. Okay, well, how much money should you be making? And it's like, you ain't talking to anybody. If, if, you know, my wife's— she's a realtor and she does luxury real estate here in Naples. And if she took all of her business cards and signs and shoved them in the garage and never talked to anybody, She ain't making any money. There's no mystery. It's not like, oh, what happened? She got her license. Well, yeah, she did. But she also speaks to humans and she tells them, I'm a realtor. Are you looking to list your home? Are you trying to buy? And so you have to ask people questions. You have to let people know. And in the absence of leads, you have to be doing the prospecting. And so people will fall in love with the idea of doing viral videos and everything. And hey, you know, for some that works out. But in the absence of leads being generated, you got to go beat the bushes. You got to go make it happen. You got to go reach out to people. And so pipeline is absolutely one of the dictators of your success.

Oh, I love that. Now, I know you have 4 Ps in creative— creating success.

And you have watched my stuff. Oh, yeah.

I'm telling you, I'm obsessed with your stuff. You're amazing. Can you briefly go through the 4 Ps?

Yeah. So the 4 Ps—

Talked about the pipeline.

Pipeline's one of them.

Okay. And so wait, I'm sorry, and I want to be real clear on this. So the pipeline is you are giving your products or services away. Do you give it away?

It depends on the company. Like some companies, that doesn't make any sense, right? It's a service or something like that.

Yeah.

So pipeline is very simple. How many people are you talking to, following up with, setting appointments with? And then from there, it may vary, right? So how many people are you asking the question, are you open to taking a look at what I'm doing? Right? Are you open to taking a look at what I use for weight loss or energy or sleeping or whatever?

It's so funny. So we did a walkthrough. We just bought a house. We're moving also. So I just got home from my event and we're moving at the same time and our AC broke. And so yesterday was kind of like crazy when I got home. We are doing a walkthrough of our new house and we met the owners of the house that we're buying. And we're talking, my husband is off with the, the husband and I'm talking to the wife and I am totally, I love what I do. So I'm always talking about what I'm doing. So even here, we're buying a home from this couple and we're supposed to be walking through the house and going over like how you turn the screen on in the cinema room and all the media room and all that. I'm just like, so, you know, asking her personal questions. And I was telling my husband, I said, oh yeah. Telling him details about her, like, uh, childhood and stuff. He goes, wow, she really did open up to you. And I'm like, oh yeah, I think she'd be great for my mastermind. I was really trying to like develop that lead for my mastermind. I love it. But that's how you, I mean, you never know when you're going to meet someone. It could be in the elevator. It could be at something that you would, you know, and it's through social media or in person or, yeah. So I love the pipeline. Sorry, I just had to.

No, no.

See that? So pipeline is one.

Yeah. And so because of your story, I'll put the next one is the second P is position, right? Position is very important. It's understanding where your prospect is. So you didn't start the conversation with, hey, we're really excited about moving into your house and I got a mastermind. At all.

I just let her— she talked.

And I asked a lot of questions.

Yeah.

Hey, would you, would you be interested in joining my mastermind? See, that makes no sense. It would make no sense. But some people do that with network marketing. They call up their friends and they're like, hey, I'm doing this new thing. You should totally do it. And they're like, what is it? What are we talking about?

That immediately makes me want to hang up the phone when you feel like you're being sold to.

Yeah. And so understand that everyone starts at position zero. Meaning you don't know if they're open to learning more. You don't know if they're interested. You don't know if they have any inkling of what you're doing or wanting what you have. And so sometimes, you know, people will say, oh, my friends don't support me. And I'm like, well, do they need the benefit of your product? Are they interested in the benefit of your product? Well, no, but I helped them in college. And it's like, yeah, you're toxic. You know, you're the toxic one, not them. And so you wouldn't buy a lumberyard And then pressure all your friends to buy a 2x4 from you, right? Hey, get down here, get a plywood, right? That'd be weird. But that's what people do with network marketing, you know, all the time. And so pipeline, position, awareness of where your prospect is, posture, the belief in what you have regardless of external acceptance or approval. So a lot of people fall out of the game when someone shoots them down. And I had a young girl in my team. She went home, she joined, got excited, went home, and her family is like, what are you doing? That's stupid. That, you know, why are you doing that? You got a college degree. What's wrong with you? And, but when she hit $10,000 a month, her 2 brothers joined, her mom joined, her dad created a spreadsheet. That woman was my wife. She didn't need their support, acceptance, approval, agreement.

Right.

The postured person isn't really affected by rejection, isn't down in the dumps eating ice cream when they get rejected. They just kind of move on. And they're also not— they don't sway in the wind from the haters or someone saying it's not going to work. They're postured. They know where they're going. And then the 4th P. So it's pipeline, position, posture. The 4th P is really your speed quotient. And it's so, so important. And it's This has been the area that I've really been hammering on is perspective. Where do you spend the majority of your time in your mind? I used to think years ago, I used to think that with enough pipeline, even with a bad attitude, you're going to make it happen. You're going to get results. But too often, I've seen people that try really, really hard. I've seen people prospect 30, 40, 50 people a day and not get results. And the truth is you'll always verify what you believe to be true.

Yeah.

So if you think that making money is hard, if you think that no one wants to buy your product, if you think it's overpriced, oh, it's so true. You're gonna sabotage your success even if you're trying hard, even if you're talking to a lot of people. And so perspective is where you spend the majority of your time. That's been how I've been able to do some, you know, really wild things. I got ballroom dance lessons for my wife and I.

I love seeing your dancing. I love it.

Hey, do you know the story? I don't know if I shared it at Stevens. I might have.

I don't think you shared the story at Stevens. I just see you dancing on your Instagram, and I am just so—I just love that you and your wife do that together.

Yeah, and so when I joined, I just bought lessons for our anniversary, and I thought spend more time with her. I'm excited about, and so I go, and I'm just terrible, man. I mean, I'm just—they're like, Ray, do you hear the rhythm? It's like doon da da doon.

I'm like.

Ray, Ray, were you in an accident? Your hips? Yeah, I swear to God, the instructor, the one's Russian, she's very tough. And she's like, Ray, do you— do your hips move? And I'm like, oh my gosh, I think— and I like, like, okay, so they move, you just choose not to. And I'm like, all right, you know, like, it was then 4 months in, okay, 4 months in, I'm going to 2 classes a week. There's a guy, he came in early, and he's a new student. He's lacing up his shoes and he's watching. And when I finish, he rushes over to me and my wife and says, oh my God, I'm so glad I came in early. I feel so much better. I'm like, thanks. And so in front of my wife. And so I go home and I realize something.

Thanks.

My perspective was noticing all the wrong steps. My perspective was noticing that I wasn't good.

Wow.

That I was stressed out, that I was frustrated, that I was forgetting things, that I was offbeat, that I was— I noticed all these things. And so I'm like, okay, this ends tonight. And so that night, I created a visualization. I started seeing myself as a good dancer. And I asked myself 2 very important questions for you to create your— for you to experience change before it's there, right? And that is, how would I feel if How would I feel if I'm a good dancer? And then how would I know it's true? And so, well, if it were true, then people would, you know, I would feel good, of course, but people would give me compliments. So, I literally, in my imagination, start seeing people give me compliments about my dancing. Now, keep in mind, it's not like anything changed, okay? But I went back in and I stopped noticing my missteps. Did I still make them? Still made them. Stopped noticing how bad I was, stopped dwelling on it, stopped feeling bad about it, and just kept visualizing being better, being better, being better. Fast forward 6 months, we went down to our second competition, international competition in Miami, and we came in first place in our division in 2 dances. And the instructor said to me, they said, Ray, you really weren't getting any better. And then one day, One day it was like you just started getting way better, way faster. So that must have been the day you start practicing at home. And I said, well, not really. That's when I started practicing in my mind.

Wow.

I started doing mental rehearsal. I did not go to 3 classes a week. I literally didn't change anything except my perspective. And that perspective had me go from being laughed at to first place at an international event.

That is incredible. And, you know, that is so powerful how, you know, our mind, it's, it's like what we choose to focus on. Yes. And when we focus on the negative or what's going wrong, we— that's all we notice. And it just, it's heavy and it weighs us down. So thank you for sharing that. Yeah. So what's one thing when you start to notice that you're focusing on the negative? Because I feel like It's so easy to focus on the negative. It sticks to us like Velcro, and you're like, oh, I want to let that go, but it's just stuck to you. And what do you do to break that cycle quickly and get out of focusing on that negative? What's a quick trick you can give us?

It gets better. First of all, it gets better because you get faster and faster at catching it. And one thing Dr. Joe says that I love is Anytime you catch a negative thought, it's a victory. But the key is to catch, and some people let it ruin their day. So, I don't have bad days anymore, but I may have bad moments that I catch, and then I shift my focus to what do I want? What is it I want? And that was something even, I mean, Napoleon Hill talked about a million years ago, whenever that was. He said, hey, when I have a negative thought, I quickly write down 10 things I want in my life to just shift that energy, to break that energy. And so, it's just a constant. If you feel bad, that should stand out to you, not feel good. But for most people, the only time they feel alive is when they're angry, when they're in an aroused state of agitation or angry injustice or whatever. And so, they actually have become chemically addicted to that emotion. And so, you know, their cells keep firing and wiring and thinking and feeling, feeling and thinking. And so, they keep doing that same thing and they wonder why their life doesn't change. And so, step 1 is just awareness. And if you can catch, hey, I'm in a bad mood right now, if you can catch that, that's power. That's a victory. Now, you can say, okay, what is it that I want? What can I do? What is it I want in my life? How can I progress toward that to break that pattern?

Oh my goodness. I just, I could seriously learn from you all day. You're going to want to check out his book and you're definitely going to want to check out his videos. He does free trainings on YouTube. He's got courses. Connect with him, go to his Instagram account, and I promise you, you will binge his reels. But tell people where they can find your book. Is it Amazon the easiest? Tell people where they can find Time, Money, Freedom.

Yeah, our latest book is Time, Money, Freedom over there on Amazon. And yeah, like you said, we put a lot of stuff on social media, Instagram and YouTube. And yeah, I hope this was helpful. And that's the goal for everything we create, to help people, to make a difference.

Yes. And I would love to try to get to your event. You've got this huge event coming up in October. And one of the things that I love besides, you know, getting to hear you speak and Joe Dispenza and so many other amazing speakers, um, is you're having a costume, like a costume part too, where you get to dress up. But tell people where's the best place they can find out about your event.

Yeah. So it's at rankmakerslive.com. We call our community Rank Makers, right? They're making rank. And so rankmakerslive.com. But yeah, we have Russell Brunson, we have Dr. Joe, we have just a lot of rock stars, a lot of rock stars that are just excellent. And to me, it's the perfect blend of structured mindset improvement Right? Not motivation, but structured mindset improvement, as well as strategies and tactics. So, we have some of the best branding experts, some of the best marketing experts, some of the best social media experts. And we also have the big guns of transformation and change, such as Dr. Joe and several others.

Oh, my gosh. It sounds amazing.

Yeah.

So, yes, y'all go check it out. And also, if you're on a run and you're listening to this, You can find it in the show notes. We'll be there. All of the links will be in the show notes so you can get his book, follow him on Instagram or YouTube, or get to his event. Ray, thank you so much for, for being on the show. I just, I've always, since the moment I met you, been fascinated by your story and all that you share. And I'm so grateful to finally have you on the show. And I'm going to check out tickets because I am going to see if I can make your event. And I hope you can. Yeah, I want to. I seriously want to see if I can make that. I would love that. So I'll check that out. But thank you all for listening to the show. Screenshot it and share it. We love to see when you share it. I always reshare it in my you know tag me at Amberly Lago Motivation, or you can tag Ray also. Yeah, and yeah, and and let us know. Send him some love and let us know you heard it on True Grit and Grace, and I appreciate you tuning in. And until next. Thank you, and we'll see you next time.

Thank you.