Redefining Success: Breaking Free from Achiever Syndrome with Tim Shurr

Welcome to the Amberly Lago Show, stories of true grit and grace. Welcome back to the Amberly Lago Show. I am so excited to introduce my guest today, Tim Schurr. He is unbelievable. He is a returning guest. And let me tell you, if you have ever felt like— well, felt like me, like no matter how much you achieve, it's still not enough, I have an award-winning hypnotist, mind strategist, one of the stars of the powerful new film Zero Limits, alongside with leaders like Joe Vitale and John Assaraf, who've also been on the show. He has helped thousands of people rewire their subconscious beliefs. And today he's pulling back the curtain on a struggle many high performers face behind the scenes.

Achiever syndrome.

That constant drive to succeed paired with a fear that maybe you still have not arrived. We're diving into how to break free from that cycle, how to shift your definition of success, and how to truly live a life without limits. Trust me, y'all, you are going to want to take notes. I take notes every time I get to talk to Tim. And so let's dive in. Tim, thank you so much for coming back on the show.

Oh, Amberly, it's such a pleasure to be with you again. This is wonderful. I'm excited for our conversation.

Well, I'm excited to talk about the upcoming release of Zero Limits. Can you give us a little glimpse? I mean, and y'all, you can learn more about his background and everything if you go back in the episodes. He's definitely— you can even Google his name on YouTube and find that episode. But I really want to— I'm so excited to dive deep into pulling that curtain back and learning Zero Limits and how all that came about. Can you give us a little glimpse into the heart of the film and your role in it?

I remember Joe had a program, or a book actually, called Zero Limits that he wrote many years ago, and it was really, really good. And there was a director named Patrick who came across it, and he said, you know, Joe, this is really amazing. We need to We need to get this out in a bigger way. And, of course, Joe being the guy that he is, he's like, well, I don't want it to be all about me. So, can we find other people who are living zero-limit lives, who have done incredible things, who've beat the odds? People like you, Amberly, who have done a really great job with their life.

Yeah.

And, even though we're always trying to figure out how we can give more and be more and have a happier existence here. And so, we started putting together the script and he started reaching out to people who Joe thought would really add a lot of value to the movie because he wanted it to be not just a follow-up to The Secret, but he wanted to be able to bring tools so that as you're watching the movie, you walk away with tools and strategies that you can start using so that if you feel like there's too many limits in your life, you can start to— Remove those limits. And, a lot of the people I've seen the movie because we got to see a sneak peek of it and as it was being created, a lot of people are talking about the stories of their own life. And so, I wanted to share the stories of some of my clients because I think that when you do it in your own life, it's amazing. But, when you do it in your own life and then you help others do it in their lives, that's just next level. And so, I started, I'm like, hey, I just want to share a bunch of really amazing stories from some clients of mine that have done impressive, impressive things with their life. And so, that's how I contributed to it. And it's turned out really good. It's going to be an awesome movie.

Oh, I can't wait. And I also wanted to share with you that your newsletter is my favorite newsletter.

Oh, wow. Thank you, Amberly.

Oh, no, it is so— it is so good. And I have to say, your newsletter that came out, I think it was yesterday. I think it was yesterday because I do believe that you said happy— P.S., happy Mother's Day at the very end of it. But it talks about you get to this point where, okay, so I've written one book. Oh, that's great. I guess I need to write another one. And, you know, I just— I did an interview today for Fox. News and they were like, so, you know, I just finished writing my second book. And they're like, so do you plan on writing a third? And it's almost kind of like after you get married, then people say, so when are you having a baby? So when are you having another baby? It's always more, more. And my daughter just got an F-150 and it's a gorgeous truck. And she's like, well, I want an F-250. And so I read your newsletter. And it just really hit home for me because I always say, you know, I'm most fulfilled when I think when you can help others achieve their success, that's when I feel the most fulfilled. And I feel like you touched on that in the newsletter. And also, I am about to take a little pause for the first time on the podcast. And this is the first time that anybody's heard this, by the way. I just decided—

Yes.

Just a few days ago, I was like, I had a very big meeting with my team and we're like, you know what? There is power in the pause. And sometimes we need to kind of slow down and focus on what really brings us fulfillment. And the show brings me fulfillment, but I love Like you have, you know, shared your story with all the success that you— your clients have achieved because of your work. I feel so fulfilled when I get to work with my clients and I see them rise up and going and achieving their, their dreams. And so your newsletter is so great. And I definitely want to add a link in the show notes for people to be able to sign up for your newsletter because it's always value.

Yeah. Wow. Well, then you just made my day. You know, it's because in the newsletter, I'm like, well, okay, what am I going to do? Go on TV again, do another interview, write another newsletter, right? And if you know why you're doing that, then it's okay. Like you saying that to me, that you're reading it, that you're getting value, it's going to— I want to write another 100 newsletters because I know it's making a difference. If it's helping you even just a little bit, that's inspiring.

Yeah.

Right? That's exciting. It's when we feel like we're just doing stuff all the time and it's never moving the needle. And so many of us feel like we're just working and working. And as soon as we get to the finish line, someone pushes the finish line and it's like, oh, and then, okay, I guess I got to keep going again. And we're not starting from zero because we're wisdom collectors. So, we're learning, we're growing, but we've got to have something more meaningful than just chasing the next dollar. Right, or having the next accomplishment, or getting the next twenty things checked off the to-do list. Because after a while, it loses its meaning, and then we start to lose our drive. And then, you know, when you're a high achiever and you're you're not feeling like you have your mojo, when you're feeling like there's no momentum, I mean, we don't really think in terms of happy or sad. We think in terms of progress and momentum, and are we getting somewhere? And and if Every time you get somewhere, you just want to get somewhere else. Then we start to think, what's the point? And that's when you can lose your fire.

Oh, it's so true. And thank you for saying that. And you said something in your newsletter, too, about it's not— and I believe this— it's not about the finish line. It's about sustaining the joy through the journey. And I write about this in my new book, and it's the resilience and the wisdom that you learn along the way. And I just want you to know that, yes, please keep writing those newsletters because that actually— your newsletter actually made me feel better about taking a little pause just so I can come back and be even stronger and have more to share. Do you know what I mean?

Yes.

So it really, it really means a lot. So yes, please do keep writing them. I love them. So that was just a little sidetracked, and I knew I'd get sidetracked off with my questions.

But hey, I love it though. That's very exciting that you're doing this because your gut feeling is telling you that you need a break and that you need to create space for something else to come into your life that needs to come into your life, but there's no room for it right now. So, the fact that you're trusting your instincts and you're— and I mean, that's huge. You know, and a lot of times our brain is telling us, no, no, no, you got to keep doing this, but you got to listen to your heart. You got to listen to your heart. And when your heart is telling you, I need to pause, even if I'm not sure why, you got to trust that. So I'm super proud of you that you're doing this.

Well, thank you for making me feel better because it's been almost 6 years and I've never taken a break from the show.

Wow.

That's impressive. Well, you know, I'm all about the grit and keep going and never give up. And it's like, right, got to add some of that grace in there. And I think when you do, Sometimes take that pause, it does allow room for creativity and new ideas. And also, I will just say, and I always love talking with you, but, you know, I went— I took my new dog, we got a new puppy, and I took our dog Nugget out for a walk right before this. And I was like, wow, how nice is it to just be outside for a minute and get some sunshine and Take— I think we all need that sometimes just to take a little pause.

Well, you're an athlete, right? So athletes will tell you that the rest is just as important as the training, right? Because if you're breaking yourself down and you're not taking time to rest and recharge and heal back up, then you're not going to be able to optimize your performance. So the rest isn't a luxury, it's a necessity. It's a part of the training.

It's so true. But sometimes High achievers have to hear that and have permission from someone else. So I appreciate you so much. I absolutely love Dr. Joe Vitale, and he also changed my life. And I just— he is such a good man. And John Azzaroff.

Azzaroff.

How was it working with them? Was that so much fun?

Yes, it's awesome. And John Demartini is in this as well. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, he's awesome. I love him too. And so these guys are amazing and so humble and so giving, you know. And, and of course, every time— I mean, there's a lot of people that are trying to always get something from them, right? Because I mean, that's how it works. People do that to me as well. And And we're givers, so we want to keep giving. And I'm sure you have that experience as well. And, but they have remained generous and are always so kind and willing to help out. And I just think that, you know, I love those guys. I just think they're really, really great role models for us. And so, it was a lot of fun working with them. And, you know, I have a story that was in the movie and they edited it out. But I can share it with you and about Joe Vitale if you'd like to hear it.

Oh, I would love to hear it. I would love to hear it.

So, so when the pandemic hit, I lost like 90% of my business because I said I stopped coaching people and, and focused on growing my speaking business. So I really let my practice kind of slide and I focused on filling my speaking calendar. And then, of course, I had a full calendar of speaking events and the pandemic hit. And the very next day, the speaking events were all gone for the next couple of years.

I was right there with you.

Right. And so, all of a sudden, now what? And so, I had the idea, well, I've got this extra time, let's write a book. So, there's an opportunity in every challenge. And it was called One Belief Away. And I ended up turning that into a brand. And, I asked Joe if he would write it for me because he was about 20 years older than me, farther down the path, and I wanted some of his wisdom for some of the stuff that I hadn't figured out yet. So, we did some interviews to write that book because he said, I'm not writing it, but you can interview me, because he's written like 80 books. And so—

It's unbelievable. Well, you've written 6. Is it 6 or 7?

6, yeah, yeah, 6 books. So, yeah, which is kind of amazing because my High school counselor said that I should get a broom because that's probably what I do with my life is push a broom.

That would be motivation. I think that I would be motivated by that.

So, every time someone tells us we can't do something, it's like, watch us, right? So anyway, but you have to upgrade that belief because most high achievers are still trying to prove themselves. That's why it feels like it's never enough. You know, because we're always feeling like we have to do more and be more. And if, and we become our achievements, and if we're not achieving, then who are we? And, you know, we are way more than our achievements. We're children of God, you know, and that's our purpose is to increase our, our faith and our, and our resilience and our belief in God and our, he uses our suffering to, uh, to help us to reach that fuller potential. Um, but most of the time in our journey, we're trying to do it through money. You know, if we have enough money, if we have enough fame, if we have enough followers, if we have enough, and those things become idols, right? And then, that's why we end up never feeling that full fulfillment because we're chasing the wrong thing. So, but I just went on a little side tangent there.

But I love that. I think that's so, so important to share. That is amazing. Yeah.

Yeah. It's funny because I started talking about Jesus in my newsletters and I lost about 300 followers in the newsletter.

Really?

Yeah, which I thought was funny, but the people that stayed, loved it. They're like, this is amazing, or, you're so brave because you're talking about the spiritual side of things, because I spent 36 years in personal development trying to find that inner sense of peace and I could not get all the way there until I started developing a stronger relationship with Jesus. And, it's funny because—

I noticed when you started writing more about Jesus and spirituality and I was like, I love this.

Yeah. Well, I was trained going through school to be a psychotherapist that you never talk about stuff like that, right? So, I was nervous, but then I'm like, wait a second, what am I nervous about? Some stranger leaving my newsletter? The Bible talks about having the fear of God, not the fear of strangers. And, not that God wants us to be afraid of them, but we got to get our priorities straight. And so, I'm like, I need to get my priorities straight. And so, I've learned a lot of amazing principles from the Bible as an adult that I didn't get growing up as a kid. And so, when I revisited and I started watching shows like The Chosen and then listening to the Bible as an adult, I started understanding it in a very different way than I ever did before. And so, I started writing about it because I was very confused and a lot of people are about Does God want you to worship God or does God want you to be the best that you could be? Should I feel guilty about having success and money or should that be something that I could continue to strive to have? If I'm going to be a really great Christian, does that mean that I have to give up my desires of wanting to be famous or have a big following? And, there was just a lot of confusion there. But, the more you understand it, the more it's like God wants you to have all of that.

Yeah.

While you're loving Him. In fact, if you love Him and you, and you apply the principles that He's given us, you end up getting more of what you wanted in the first place. And you get it in a way that's a lot easier than you were doing it on your own.

Oh, yes, I agree. And I have to get out of my own way, you know, and remember to rely on God. And I mean, look, I even have a frog On my desk. It symbolizes fully rely on God. Oh, my daughter made this for me because I'm always saying that. So yeah. Yeah. Because—

I love that. That's so good.

Well, when I get out of my own way and just hand it to God and realize I'm not in control, I'm not the director, and just try to be the best person I can be and stay closely connected to God, then things to work out. So, I love what you shared. I love what you shared.

Yeah. I only turned to God when things were not working out. You know, and I think that's why we have suffering. It's the only time we fall to our knees and stop trying to make ourselves God is when we are really suffering and hurting. And then, we reach out and there's something inside of us that makes us want to do that. And so, I realized that I need to stop doing that just when I'm hurting. I also need to come to him when I'm doing great, right? And when I'm really thriving and when I'm really— and also when I'm just in confusion, when I'm trying to figure things out. And I find that it just grants so much more peace. But I'm like the Doubting Thomas in the Bible. I keep going back and forth. And I think a lot of people who end up having strong faith do that. One day, I'm totally convinced God is real and I'm so thankful and appreciative. And then, other times, I'm still praying and I'm still taking the steps where I'm like, am I schizophrenic just walking around every day talking to myself in my head to a made-up Jesus? And I go back and forth. But I've lived both ways. I've lived trying to make me the God through personal development and the law of attraction and all these ideas. And then, The other side of it where I've just decided that God's in charge, He owns my business, I'm going to pray to Him, I'm going to trust Him, I'm going to focus on the principle that He's given me, and I'm just going to go all in. And, when I do that, my life is better.

Well, what helped you with that confusion?

So, I think it's a decision and also The signs, right? So, first, it's a decision of what do I want to do with my life? I think I'm a better person when I apply the laws that are in the Bible. I think I'm a better person when I'm focused on love and forgiveness and faith, strong faith. I just feel like I show up better, right? I show up better in my marriage. I show up better as a dad. I show up better as a businessperson when I'm applying these principles. than if I'm not. And people, some, you know, people ask me, a lot of atheists will say, don't you think you can be a good person, you know, and not believe in God? And I'm like, you can be a good person, but I don't think you're going to find the peace that you're looking for without God, you know. And I don't know what's going to happen after this trip is over, you know, what's going to happen to you next. And so, my father-in-law used to always say, he says, you know, if I believe in God and I die, And there is no God, then that's okay. I still lived a better life. But if there is a God and I didn't believe, oh, I don't want to find out what happens next. And so—

That's a good way to look at it.

Yeah.

Yeah. I love that.

And then the signs, you know, there's so many signs that I get all the time where I'll be praying and then, you know, I'll be feeling stuck and I'll be like, God, are you real? You know, and then I pull up in the car in front of me, there's a license plate and it says, God loves you. And things like that happen all the time. And yeah, I could be reading into it. Yeah, my brain might be looking for clues, like seeing faces in a cloud. I understand cognitive biases, but there's so many things that happen that are so random that I can't constantly be making that up. It just is too random.

Yeah.

And the logical, rational, Uh, part of it is that, no, that's actually real and you just got to believe it.

Yeah. And you know what? I, I so believe in that too. And I want to just tell you a real quick story of— there was one time I was sitting in my office and I was scared to death. I was about to speak on a virtual event and I was just so nervous. And I started talking to God and I was like, you know what, God? I just don't know. Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a speaker because This is hard. And I get so anxious and uncomfortable. And I just don't know if I'm good enough and this and that. And then my phone rang. And I look over and it's my friend from church. His face comes up on the phone. I'm like, oh my gosh, he never calls me. Why is he calling me? I didn't even know he had my number. And I answered the phone. I'm like, hello? And he goes, Yeah. Hey, Amberly, I'm having an event and we're expecting about 4,500 It's going to be in a huge stadium. Do you think you could speak at the event? And I was like, yep, I'll be there. And then I got off the phone and I was like, God, you have a funny sense of humor. And I felt like it was— because out of all people to call somebody from church, and then it was right at the moment. And I was like, okay, I hear you, God. I hear you.

Yeah. I mean, what are the odds?

Yeah.

And then, if that just happened once in a while, okay. But when it happens a lot, right, which is what I find it, when it happens a lot, there's got to be something. It's just too divine for it to happen on accident where all these things happen just randomly. I'm not buying that.

Yeah.

So, it's like my business. My business doesn't just happen randomly. I have to do a lot of stuff. You have to do a lot of stuff for this podcast. The podcast doesn't happen. 6 years worth of shows and guests doesn't just happen randomly. You know, you had to coordinate that. And that takes a lot of effort. And the things that happen to us spiritually, someone has to be coordinating that because it just can't randomly happen like that. It doesn't make any sense.

And so, uh, and the people that happen, like, I hadn't talked to you in a while and you'd reached out and told me about your new— the new movie coming out. And I was like, oh my goodness, yes, I want you on the show. And I think that's not random, because I hadn't talked to you in a while. And so it's so good to see you.

Thank you.

Do you think that high achievers struggle with this idea of turning it over and trusting God? And instead of just doing it all themselves?

Yes, because we've had to do it all ourselves. And so a lot of times growing up, we feel like, you know, we couldn't trust people or people abandoned us or we never felt like we were enough. And so we work really hard on ourselves and it turns us into control freaks sometimes, right? We have this desire to, to be in charge of everything, often because we had to be, because it was all up to us. And if we didn't do it, no one was coming to save us. At least that's how it felt. And, and so now we get a certain level of success and we feel like that's our mojo. And to let that go feels very scary. You know, it feels like we're surrendering our identity. You know, this is who I've turned into and I don't want to go back to who I was before. Right. And I've had a lot of people who said that, you know, even if they come to me for hypnosis and they're like, now explain this to me because I don't want you to mess with my head because I don't want you to mess with my mojo. This is what makes me successful. Or even when I'm working with company presidents and they're like, I don't want you to mess around with the system too much because we've made a lot of money and success covers a lot of sins. And they have these beliefs that if we get in there and we start empowering their people, that somehow it's going to mess up what they've built, right?

Yeah.

And so, because we have all this fear and control around it. And that fear and control comes from beliefs that we're not safe, we're not enough, that if we relax and let our guards down, that it's going to fall apart. And then, we're just— everything we built is just going to come crumbling down, right? So, even, you know, that's the problem with success is it's kind of like chasing fireworks, right? The fireworks go off and then all of a sudden, they're gone, right? And it's like, okay, now I got to do it again.

I used that analogy in your newsletter. Explain that again, just how you wrote it because it was written so beautifully.

Yeah. It's just we're always chasing that next achievement. And then, when we get it, it disappears. And now, we got to go do it again. We got to do it again. So, it's like chasing fireworks, right? They're beautiful. I've moved next to Disney World. And so, I see fireworks all the time. And so, they go off and they're beautiful and then they disappear. And that's what it was like for me for the next book or the next speaking engagement or the next award. It was like, okay, we did that. And then, it disappeared. What's next? And it was constantly chasing something else that never felt like I was good where I was, right? Plus, I always had this deep fear that I was going to run out. I was going to run out of money. I was going to run out of time. I remember sitting, it was a beautiful summer day. I'm sitting by the swimming pool. I got the fountains going. My boys are playing and splashing around. My wife's doing something. She was making some snacks, right? And she's all happy. And it was just one of those beautiful moments. Where I felt really peaceful. I had a bunch of money in the bank. I finally felt safe, like I had arrived. And then, all of a sudden, I got this feeling like, what if it stops? What if people stop calling? What if something happens in the world again? Because I've been through 9/11, I've been through the 2009 crash, I've been through the pandemic. We've been through places where we lost it all. And I'm having this beautiful moment and all of a sudden, instead of enjoying it, I'm full of anxiety. I'm feeling like I need to go to work, right? I need to get away from the swimming pool. I need to go back to my laptop and I need to start working again because working makes me feel safe. And when I'm not working and I'm enjoying myself, I feel vulnerable. And I've talked to so many people who are super successful, but they can't stop working. They're workaholics because they have this belief inside that if I let up even a little bit, that I'm going to lose it all. And—

Gosh, this is like— I mean, it was so hard. Hearing this is like, oh my gosh, it is really hitting home. Because in the meeting I had with my team where they were like, Amberly, we— and this is why I'm taking a little pause on the show, because I have to have a surgery.

Yeah.

I've been putting off a surgery for complex regional pain syndrome for a long time, and my health has been really, like, I've been experiencing a lot of health challenges for the past, like, year and a half now. And I just keep pushing and pushing and pushing. And it was actually my team who I love, and they care about me. And they were like, Amberly, it was almost like an intervention.

Mm-hmm.

They were like, we're worried about you. Like, you Do okay, and you rest, and you work, work, work, work, work, and then you come crashing down again, and you work, and then you crash. And you need to really recover instead of putting a bandaid on what's going on. You need to recover. And this is our suggestion to you. So Malik on my team was like, "I think you need to like take off everything completely, like take a break from everything," and that means social media, podcasts, speaking engagements, everything. And I was like. And my assistant was like, well, she's never going to do that. And she's like, well, my suggestion is to just pause the podcast for a bit. And I was like, well, I could do that. And then as we're talking, like the anxiety, like you're describing by sitting at the pool, I was just like, yes. They're like, now don't say you're going to do this and then back out on us tomorrow. And the next day I woke up and I was like, You know what? No, I don't think I need to take a pause. I think I can just keep going. And so I messaged them and I was like, you know what? I don't want to cancel anybody that I already have scheduled because I like to keep my promises. I don't want to let people down. And I was making up all these excuses, but it was because I did feel like this little bit of panic, like I don't want to stop. I'm a top 1% podcast. What if I'm not a top 1% podcast anymore? What if people stop listening to the show? What if, what if, what if? You know?

Right.

And so you're explaining exactly how I just felt. I mean, your timing couldn't be more perfect. So just hearing what you're saying makes me feel so much better. And I think sometimes knowing that you're not alone in a certain feeling or struggle or that, oh, so that's why I like to pick up my laptop at 11:00 at night on a Sunday. You know what I mean?

Yes. Yeah. My wife would get so mad at me for years because she's like, your laptop is your mistress, right? Or you're a workaholic. You know, sometimes people would say we're narcissists. They don't understand that we're not trying to just be more famous. You know, we're not trying to just feel more special. What we're really trying to do is feel safe.

Exactly.

But it doesn't look like that because it's like, well, you get to live your dream and you get to have all this stuff. Yes, that's true. But the price for that, the work, effort, you know, and the discipline and what it takes to be able to do that. Nobody's seeing that side of it. You know, it's like the joke, the overnight success that took 20 years, right? They just see the overnight success. But, you know, and I was looking at a lot of my friends that are motivational speakers, and a lot of them, I mean, almost all of them were divorced, right? And having a lot of challenges. And, you know, and I'm like, there's prices that we pay To keep pushing and when is it enough? And that's when I started realizing—

It's hard to do. And also, a lot of times people just see like, oh, you're getting paid thousands of dollars to go speak on stage for an hour. And they don't see the behind the scenes of the notebooks that I've written in for coming up with the talks, the anxiety that I have when I get in bed at night and I'm like, oh my gosh, they want me to speak for 2.5 hours for that keynote instead of an hour? What am I going to add? Or the preparation it takes, the frustration when I don't know how to create slides very well and they want me to use slides, or just the travel. For me, it is a whole ordeal just traveling. And I'm not trying to sound ungrateful at all. I am so grateful and so blessed that I get to go and speak at different events. But it does come with a price. Like, my husband went with me for the first time when I was traveling because I travel all the time and he hasn't traveled, I think, in like 3 years. And he went with me and he kept saying, well, here, let me push your carry-on for you. And I said, no, honey, I have a system. I said, my carry-on, this is my cane. It helps me walk.

Yes.

And he's like, well, let me do— let me Do that and you can carry your purse. I said, no, no, no, no, I need to put my purse on my suitcase. This is how I get through the airport. And it was like my whole system of— I'm like, no, this is where I eat at the airport because it's anti-inflammatory food. And when I fly, I get more flared up. So this is the food I eat. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do. So it's a lot. And I'm glad that my husband puts up with me and my crazy shenanigans and my travel and big dreams. But I could see where there might be a lot of speakers going through some struggles because it is, it's a lot on the marriage to be gone. And, you know.

Yeah, yeah. Well, we all have our challenges, right? And so what do you do about it? And I think that instead of— so the first thing we got to do if we want to escape achiever syndrome is we got to upgrade our unconscious beliefs. That is the biggest part of it because the only way to get free from that so that you can have more joy every day and you don't have to feel like you're chasing something and you don't have to feel like you're still needing that approval and you have new ways of feeling safe, the most effective way of doing that is upgrading your unconscious beliefs. That is the most powerful way of doing it, getting that going from I'm not enough to I'm more than enough.

Is that an everyday thing or is that something No, it's something you do. Or can you hypnotize us all right now?

Yeah. When you're upgrading your beliefs, I'll have to come back for that. We'll do another episode. But yeah, when you are upgrading your beliefs, they're upgraded. Now, you still got to manage your thoughts every day. People are like, well, how long do I got to manage my thoughts? Well, it's like driving down the highway at 60 miles an hour. You got to keep your hands on the steering wheel the whole time. If you want to arrive safely at your destination, and so we've got to manage our thoughts all the time. But the beliefs that drive those thoughts, you can upgrade those beliefs, and you can do that very effectively in a session, right? And so, but that's just the first part of it. You know, you got upgrade your beliefs, then you got upgrade your feelings, right? We got to let go of a lot of the hurt, the resentment, the anger, the frustration, and a lot of times people think of. They're like, well, you're talking about mindset. No, I'm going deeper than mindset. It's what's driving the mindset at an unconscious level that matters the most. And, we just don't get that deep. Most people are cutting the top off the weeds. They're not getting to the root of it. And, the clients I work with are high performers. They're like, I've been working on my mindset for decades. So, I don't think it's that, but it's always that. What they're doing is they're looking at how they are right now in their life and they're like, I'm successful. I've accomplished this. I've accomplished that. Yes, but the beliefs that are in your mind were formed when you were 12 years old.

Yeah.

And so, those beliefs are still there. Now, you might have upgraded some of the other beliefs you have. That's what's allowed you to get to where you are. But some of those foundational core beliefs are still in there. And every time someone tells me that's not the case, it ends up being the case. All of a sudden, they're 5 years old and they were hurt, they were abandoned, they went through some Their parents got divorced, somebody had an illness, they were embarrassed or humiliated, they went through some kind of abuse, they were made to feel small or inferior or told that by someone who was misinformed. Like, I was talking to a guy earlier today and he said, well, my mom's very religious and she said that if I become successful that I won't get into heaven because it's harder for a rich man to get into heaven than to go through the eye of a needle.

Wow.

And I'm like, he misunderstood what that means, right? Because the Bible has plenty of stories that talks about the importance of using the gifts that God gave you. And so, when— but we don't know that when we're kids. And so, the limiting beliefs of those who raise us get absorbed within us, and those beliefs never really get upgraded. And so, they might evolve or you might have other beliefs on top of them, but that's what causes the achiever syndrome. It's those unconscious beliefs that that need to be upgraded?

I completely believe that it comes from something that happened in our early childhood, that those deep, deep beliefs come from. And I really discovered that, actually. I heard that and maybe I believed it a little bit, but I really just— I think there's something very cathartic about writing a book and writing Joy Through the Journey. I really discovered that there was this deep belief in me because I was— I would, I would not— I would push myself and push myself and not take care of myself because I was like, but no, no, no, I got to do— I got to work with one more client. I got to do one more interview. I got to do one more speaking event. It was always, let me put so many other things before I would even take care of myself to the point where my body would just like shut down. It was like, Like, no, you can't push anymore. And I had to ask myself, where is this coming from? And it came from a place of not feeling worthy enough of even being taken care of or taking care of myself. And so I think a part of it is discovering, like, where did that come from? Is that a process that you take people through? Is like Going back and kind of finding what was the time, going back and back and back.

That's the first session we do.

Really? Okay. And then what is one thing you can give us today? Let's say you've got somebody, for instance, I just had someone that was really uncomfortable with charging. She goes, well, She's— but I'm— no, I don't want people to think that they're paying for my time. They're paying for this or that or this product, but they're not paying for me. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. You're— you're— you are worthy of, of the money that they're going to pay you for your time, that, that your time and you are so valuable. What would you say to someone who you kind of sense something like that to kind of start to shift that worthiness in them?

The first thing I do is I tell a quick story so that they understand that I'm with them, that I've gone through that too, so that they don't feel like they're being judged. Because if you start giving someone advice right off the bat, a lot of times they feel like they're wrong, or I would feel dumb, you know. And if you make someone feel dumb, then they're no longer in a mode of learning.

Yeah.

They get defensive, right? So, especially when you're working with achievers like coaches. And so, but I would say I had this belief that if I charged, it tainted the healing work that I was doing. I'm doing this beautiful healing work and then if I charge money that somehow I'm making it bad. So, I had a real hang-up with money because I grew up not having any. And, everybody said that the rich people were the bad people. In fact, every hero movie that we ever have, You know, the corporations are always the evil ones and the broke orphans are the ones who are the heroes. And so, that gets into our psychology. And then, I also had another belief underneath that that if I charge more than my dad made that I was somehow betraying him.

Wow.

Which, where in the world did that belief come from? I don't even know where that belief came from. And so, but our brain makes up all kinds of ideas without our permission and without us even knowing that they're there. So, it's kind of like you're a high-performance race car, but you've got this parking brake on and you don't know it's there. And you're like, why am I being dragged along? And it's because of this parking brake. So, and then what always happens is we go back to some upsetting event, right? In the first session, we step into that feeling of anxiety or pressure or not being good enough, whatever the fear is. And then we go back to the moment that that belief was formed. And, it's always the fear of I'm not good enough, I'll be rejected, I'll be abandoned.

Yeah.

That I'm just not good enough. And, because I'm not enough, I won't be loved, which I think is our biggest fear is that I won't be loved. And so, we try to make up for it. And so, what I do is basically we just switch the belief to I am loved. I love me, God loves me, I am loved. And, instead of chasing that approval outside, we start giving it to ourselves. And, when we upgrade that belief to I am loved and then we start giving ourselves new emotional experiences that reinforce the fact that we are loving ourselves, we're giving ourselves whatever it is that we felt we needed from others, we're going to give it to ourselves: love, protection, understanding, self-acceptance, reassurance, and support. We start giving ourselves what it is that we're needing. I feel, Amberly, like a lot of times we go through life with these empty cups. And, every day, we walk through life trying to get filled up outside of us by other people, by our accomplishments, by what we get done. And, instead of just filling ourselves up with love and with God, which will make us feel fulfilled, instead, we feel empty. And then, in relationships, we go to our partner with an empty cup and they're coming to us with an empty cup. And then, we get mad at each other for not filling each other up instead of filling ourselves up.

Yeah.

And then pouring into others all day long, right? Because we figure out how to love ourselves. And then, when we don't need to chase approval and we don't need to chase that respect or accomplishments or feeling safe, then all of a sudden, we're needless. And it's funny because when you're needless, when you don't need it anymore, that's when you get it. Like, when I was 20 years old and broke, nobody wanted to take me out for lunch. And now, I give people like, hey, can I take you out for lunch? People want to buy me lunch all day long. And I'm like, where were you 20 years ago or 30 years ago? And so, when you don't need it, when you're needless, that's when you get it. When you don't need the respect because you're respecting yourself, that's when others respect you. When you don't need the money because you feel sufficient, then all of a sudden, you're able to ask for what you deserve and people pay you because they see the authenticity. They don't see neediness. They don't feel like you're trying to sell them. They see that you're trying to serve them. And so, that eternal shift changes how you show up. And so, for your friend with that, if she has that feeling that she's not worth being paid, which a lot of people feel that way, then we would need to go in there and figure out where that came from. We would upgrade that belief. Suddenly, she would feel like, I'm more than worthy. I'm more than enough. And whatever people are paying me isn't enough because I'm going to give them 10 times the value. Right? So, they're still getting a deal. And she's right, they're not really paying for her time, they're paying for an outcome. And she's going to give them that outcome. And she's going to do it in a way that brings joy, which is what she would learn from reading your new book. And so, it all starts to come together, right, in this new way that creates new energy and new excitement. And it all starts from upgrading that original belief.

Oh my goodness, you are so good. I could just talk to you all day. That is so good. And it's so true. When you don't, When you don't need something, that's when it comes. I remember, I just have to tell you another quick story. I remember when this was last year before my annual event, I was like, I am not going to speak at any events right before my annual event. I'm going to put all my focus on my event. I'm not going to travel. I'm not going to speak. And then the phone started ringing. I remember thinking, well, I am not traveling to Chicago. Unless they pay me this much money and thinking they'll never pay that. I don't really want to go to Chicago. I just need to focus on— and they're like, without blinking an eye, like, yep, here's the contract. Yes. And I'm like, yeah, that's how it happens, right?

Yes, that's right. Yeah. When you're comfortable walking away, that's when people walk towards you. And when you're afraid people are going to walk away, that's when you lose them because whatever you chase runs. That's so good. So, if you're chasing money, if you're chasing success, if you're chasing someone to love you, then you're never going to get it, right? So, and the good news is you don't have to chase it because you can give it to yourself. And I think that we just don't know that we can give ourselves that permission, right? Or if we don't believe it, just remember that, you know, God sent us his Son to die for our sins so that we can know that we are loved. You know, we have that grace. And now, if God can do that for us, if God was willing to do that for us, then it's okay for you to love you too.

Oh, that's beautiful. And I had a friend of mine, Vic Keller, he lives out here in Dallas. He's a great businessman. And he was giving advice. And he said, you know, the best business strategy— and everybody's like, what is it? What's the strategy? What's the— and he said, the best thing you can do for your business is it's love.

Yeah.

And he said, love yourself, love your— the people who work with you, love what you do. It's all about love.

Yeah.

And so, I just feel like you are reaffirming that. So, you've just given us so much great advice. And I just love how you explain things visually to me. You give these analogies that make it so clear and memorable for me. I'm a very visual person. So, I love that you do that. I'll just wrap it up with a couple of questions. And I think I might— I think I definitely need to have you back on to do some hypnosis. So you'll be the first guest that's ever come on the show 3 times. So with, with wrap-up, because I know we were going to talk about the movie more, and so I want to wrap it up with talking about Zero Limits a little more. What do you want people to walk away from when they watch the movie?

It's just another way of reminding you that you're amazing and that you are worthy of showing up and shining your light in the way that you want to. And that, you know, so many people are afraid. What is someone— what are they going to think of me? How are they going to judge me? These strangers that we worry about. And I'm like, if someone calls you a banana, does it make you one? And they're like, well, no. And I'm like, well, it doesn't matter what else they call you. And besides, what matters is what you call yourself, right? What matters is what you do in your own head as you're going through life. And the more you improve the story that you're narrating in your head as you go through every experience, the better that story is, the more fulfilling your life is going to be. And you're the one telling the story. And so, the movie reminds you of the power that's already inside of you. It reminds you that you can be a zero-limits kind of person. The only limits that we have are really the ones we put on ourselves. And if you recognize that, like you said, the greatest gift we have is the ability to love ourselves and others, and if you take the limits off that, everything else will fall into place, that's ideal. So, if you can walk away from that movie feeling more love, feeling more inspired and feeling like you've got some great tools to help you to make this all happen. What else do you need in a movie?

Oh, that's beautiful. The world needs this movie so bad. I'm so glad that this is coming out. I can't wait to see it. It's coming out in June, right?

Yes. Yep. It releases in—

Will it be in all like theaters? Will it be— where will it be?

So, it's being released in Sacramento, California, and then I'm sure it'll be scattered through some theaters around the country, and then it'll go right to streaming, which is what a lot of times they do. So, it'll be on Amazon and Apple Plus, and probably a few other streaming channels will pick it up as well.

Oh, that's awesome. And now, for the overachievers that have listened and they're like, oh my goodness, he's speaking my language, he's given me all these tools. For the overachiever out there right now who's struggling, what is one thing that you would say to them right now?

So, the thing that I tell all high achievers is that—

I mean, yeah, high achievers.

I'd say overachiever. Oh, yeah. High achievers. Because I remember talking to somebody who was wildly successful. I mean, doing really big things in the world. And hundreds of millions of dollars in deals and all kinds of stuff. And I called him that one time. I said, you're quite the overachiever. And he said, don't put your limitations on me.

Oh, that's good. That's good.

And I was like, wow, because I always said I came from a small town, so it made me small-minded. So, I've been hanging around these big thinkers so I could expand my perception. And he certainly did that. He put me in check. And I'm like, you know, you're right. So, I stopped talking about I love that. Yeah. That's so good.

Thank you for sharing that.

Yeah. So, I mean, that's the value of having conversations like this. This is the value of your show and sharing these insights because just one idea makes you go, oh, I never thought about that before. And your show and your book has so many of those golden nuggets, right? That's why people become wealthy from watching your episodes. And even when you take a break, you still have 6 years of episodes. So there's plenty of content for people to enjoy while you're resting up and taking care of you. So, uh—

Thank you for saying that. That is actually one of the things that I was gonna say when I do a solo cast is, hey, now's your chance to catch up on all the episodes from the past 6 years.

That's right. That's right. There's so much gold that you already have. And so, people are going to get so much value. And then, when you come back, you're going to come back rested and have more experiences and more insights. And so, it'll be even better. So, people will be looking forward to the return, which is exciting.

Oh, well, thank you.

Yeah. So, I think that high achievers just got to remember that it's more important that you have purpose You know, that you understand what the purpose is. And, you know, for me, the purpose is, like you said, squeezing the most amount of joy out of every day, right? And figuring out not how can I be a star, but how can I help someone else be a star today, right? And it might just be through a compliment. It might be through some random act of kindness, or it might be by using your talents to help someone else. Like, I always wanted to get on stage or TV and be the star, and I've done that. I get more joy out of helping my My students do that now. I train my students in my One Belief Away hypnosis method, and I get more joy out of watching them hit that next level of success or getting testimonials from clients or getting asked to do an interview. And, the joy that they experience is what lights me up now. And so, it was Pablo Picasso who said, the goal of life is to figure out what your gifts are, and then the purpose of your life is to give them away.

Yeah.

And I think that that fits nicely.

I love that. And, you know, in sobriety, we have a saying that you keep what you give away, which some people be like, what? That doesn't make sense. But when you're sober, when you can go help someone else, a newcomer or someone else who might be struggling, then it helps you keep your sobriety. So you just, you know, you keep giving. And then when I read your newsletter today and I read that about how that part, what you just described about purpose and helping others achieve their success, that is what I love doing. And that's why in my Unstoppable Summit, I don't just have the big name speakers that are amazing, like Trent Shelton, Renee Rodriguez. I mean, several over the years, John Gordon. On stage, I also bring up my mastermind members who sometimes it's most of the time it's their first time up on stage. And every year I'm like, oh yeah, I forgot I'm speaking. I'm so focused on, you know, helping them prepare for their time on stage. And it gives me such joy to see them shine on stage. I mean, it makes me cry.

Yeah.

I must seem like I get up on stage and I'm like crying after everybody, each mastermind member has said their talk on stage. So I am so in alignment with everything that you're saying. So appreciate you so much. What is the best way for people to find you and so work with you one-on-one, if you even have any availability with your schedule, or hire you to speak? And to also watch the movie, what's the best way people can do that?

So I like— well, people can go to timsure.com for the speaking, and, and then you can go to Indy Hypnosis, I-N-D-Y, like Indianapolis. I built my practice in Indiana for 30 years, so I've got offices in LA and in Florida, but Indiana is headquarters. And so if you go to indyhypnosis.com, you can access me or my coaches that way. And then we'll put a link in here. I have decades of free trainings that I've put together over the years. And I asked my community, asked my community of achievers how they liked that. And like, could you put it all in one place? And so, I put all the training in one place. So, if you have a problem and you want to solve a specific problem, whether it's confidence or it's growing your practice, you can do that. We'll give you a link and you can get access for free. To my secret training vault, and I think that that would be a wonderful place to go and uplevel your life. Remember, you're just one belief away from having a huge breakthrough, and this will help you do it.

Thank you, and I'll put that link in the show notes if that's okay with you. Is that good? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, and then also on your website, TimShure.com, is that can they sign up for your newsletter?

Yes. Yeah. Anytime you download any of the free stuff that I've created, you know, you're going to end up on the newsletter. So just go download something.

Okay.

Anything that you get in, all roads, you know, go to Rome.

Okay.

So, yeah.

It's so good. I want them to be able to access the value that you give in your newsletter. So thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for being here on the show. What a powerful conversation. I mean, if you've ever battled the pressure to do more just to prove your worth, I hope this episode reminded you that you are not alone and you're already enough and you are love. Be sure to catch Tim and Joe and John and who else was in it?

The Johns.

The Johns. The Johns.

Yes.

He's the only one who hasn't been on the show yet. So I know—

John Demartini. Oh, yeah, we can make that happen if you like.

Yes, I would love that. I would love that. So, yeah, be sure to catch him and go over and look at the show notes so you can get free access to his vault, which I'm going to do as well. And if you found value in the show, share it with a friend, especially one of your high achievers. Friends, not overachiever, but your high achieving friend. Share it with them. And I just appreciate you tuning into the show. And we will see you again soon. Thank you.