Rockstar Ways to Handle Anxiety and Build Confidence with Goldy Locks

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert and bestselling author. Each week, I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought leaders and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace. Hello and welcome back to the True Grit and Grace Podcast. Y'all, if you look up the definition of badass in the dictionary, you are going to find a picture of today's guest, Goldilocks. She's a successful entrepreneur, top influencer, musician with the voice of an angel, a professional wrestler with moves that will have you shaking in your boots, She's a photographer, a health enthusiast. And when she's not speaking at events or interviewing people for her show called Goldie's Closet, you can find her performing with her band, the Goldilocks Band. She's beauty and brains. She's grit and grace. She's passionate about mental health, suicide prevention. And it's such an honor to have you on the show here. Thank you so much for being here and welcome to the show.

Am I on the show now? Am I?

Girl, you are.

You are on. Let's see. You brought me in. Okay. So here we got to do the little drum roll because I have prepared. Where is it now? Okay. Okay. Are you ready?

I'm ready. I I've been waiting. Oh my!

Check that out. You are amazing. Look at that.

Damn. Wow. Oh my!

I crossed out the woman. I made it Wonder Women.

Wonder Women.

I love it. Yeah.

So y'all, if you're listening to the podcast, you'll have to go over to YouTube and see what she has created. Oh my gosh, girl. So we met at, gosh, an event at the LA Tribune we did.

Yeah.

And, and I was like, gosh, who is this amazing lady? She's gorgeous.

Who's this weirdo, right?

I was like, who's this fun chick? I gotta know her. And then we've gotten to know each other more over the past year, and you are that person that I can just call when I'm having a bad day or struggling, and that true blue friend that I can count on. So thank you, first of all, for just being that friend. But then when I started to really stalk you and see what you were all about, I'm like, Oh my God, I in my next lifetime I want to be you. Like, you're amazing.

I want to be you. No, you you are you are, and I'm going to tell you why because you're legitimate and sincere and true. And I I started we did a Los Angeles Tribune two-day women's summit, and Dr. Natalie Forrest was orchestrating most of it. Mo was in the background, but like, and I'll probably even cry just saying that I have an IUD, so it's not that time of the month. I don't know why I just. I'm just like, the older I get, everything just makes me cry. But she was just being so complimentary and so kind. And I was just thinking to myself, like, how much I appreciate her because she's always complimenting me, such as you are, or putting me over. That's a wrestling term, complimenting. And I'm not used to that. And I'm not trying to, like, bring in, you know, law of attraction, like, oh, this always happens to me. That's not it. But just ever since I was a little kid, the girls and women, they just, they don't like me. More and more, the older I've gotten, have. And I've developed some really great relationships But it's usually with like a butch lesbian. Like those are usually the types of chicks which you know, thank you for being you. He he to my butch lesbian friends and followers and supporters out there. It seems like they're the only ones that can like hang and don't get all tweaked out and freaked out about things. And my heart just like every time I think I've got a new like buddy, a new girlfriend, my heart kind of sinks when I see them like doing the same stuff. And it really boils down to confidence levels and what people think about themselves. So I don't take it personally, but like every once in a while you'd like to have a girl. girlfriend that you can call up without them getting freaking jealous about anything. And there's somebody that I reached out today to that I wasn't jealous, but I was more like, hmm, like we were supposed to do something together. And I turned down work, Amber. I turned down work because this was coming up. And then like all of a sudden I see on social media, like clearly they've gotten with somebody else. And I was like, okay. And I'm happy for them. And I was excited. And I saw like some of the stuff they were working on. I just reached out to them because I'm like, well, I guess if I'm not going to do it with them, I'd like to find out like, who are they using? Maybe I can go look at their brand and be inspired by it and build up my own a little bit. Like, I try to never be jealous. I, we all do. And it's okay. Like, if you're listening, if you get jealous or envious, that's okay. You're a human being. It's what you do with it. You know, it's if you're coveting your neighbor's husband or wife, it's what you do with it. Yeah. It's, it's human to make mistakes or have messed up thoughts or, you know, half the time I want to like run people off the road. And I think like, you know, what's the difference between me and that insane lunatic that actually does pull out a gun and like blows out somebody's tires because they didn't let them merge or whatever? Like, there's a line, and I'm glad that I'm on the other side. But, you know, it's what you do with the thoughts that you have. So when I get jealous or envious, I usually reach out. I try to compliment right off the bat, and then I try to figure out a way to collaborate. Or, you know, do something together so that I learn and they learn and they're complimented and I'm complimented. But like, just, I think a lot of the things in the world, jealousy and, and being envious is, is a real destroyer. So—

It is. And, you know, I think in today's world with social media, it's— oh God, caught up in, in the comparison and all that. And, and I, I wake up and I want to look on social, I want to look on Instagram, I want to look at stuff. And I have to stop myself because I know if I do that, I will get lost in consuming instead of creating. And so I have—

Fine line. Yeah, fine line.

Yeah. And, and you can, you can sit there and say, oh, I'm doing my research, or oh, I'm— and it's like, no, what are you doing really? And so you are the type of person that, you know, from the get-go. When I was on your show, you helped me so much. Okay, I'm gonna tell y'all one of the things that she really helped me with is you told me, yes, look into the camera.

It's uncomfortable. Yeah, but you don't look like a weirdo sometimes looking like, look at me, I look like I'm a pedophile in like somebody's basement. Like, not that you were looking like that. I'm just saying sometimes when people are looking around, it makes me anxious. And you know, the, the women's forum yesterday wasn't comfortable to be looking at the camera. I would have liked to have been looking like that. But look at— look, it looks like I'm looking at your crotch, you know what I mean? Or mine, God forbid. Like, when I'm back up here, it's like— so thanks for acknowledging that. But like, you're already so like 99.9% perfect. Why wouldn't I say something kindly? You don't have to be a jerk about it. You can just say, oh hey, check this out.

Like, I appreciate that when that is— and I, I make mistakes all the time, but when you're learning new things And I mean, you're a pro at doing interviews because you have your show, you've done it for your wrestling, you do big events. And so you really are skilled at the whole interviewing people and looking into the camera and the whole virtual world. To me, I feel like I'm still learning so much. Oh, you're all— feels so new.

And you're doing great. And if you're going to be constructive, if you're being constructive, be kind, you know, like for people that are watching, like I have not had anybody be kind to me, like when I had my record deal, like I had physical abuse if I didn't do things right. Or in wrestling, uh, close to physical abuse, close to physical getting hit over the head. But like, if you didn't do something right, boy, were you torn. I remember, I remember coming down the— walking down the runway and the pyro going off, and I was going out to the ring or something like that. And I just had a great match and a great everything. And I came back and I just remember like literally having somebody grab me by the strap and yank me so that I almost got whiplash. What the hell was that? What were you doing? What do you call that? I'm like, ah, good, you know. And he was like, you should have been— your arms, you were like waving like this. And he's like a T-Rex. And he screamed at me. And he's like, I need you to be like this to people because it was 40,000 people. He's like, I need you to be so that the people in the back can see you and whatever they paid for the day. And I was just like— And it wasn't about that or that particular— but now when I'm on stage doing music, I make sure that if I'm not doing this and looking like a lunatic, that I am, hey, calling out to the people on the back. Or you take— whenever you get shit on, you should take the lesson and keep it here and apply it to as many things as you can. And then when you see somebody else who could maybe use that nugget, with enthusiasm say, hey, I want to tell you about something. It happened to me.

How you teach it, right?

Yeah.

But you know, I have to say, I did notice when I've seen you— videos that I've watched of you performing— one of the things that I really noticed was how you performed with your arms up. You put your arms out, you would whip your head around, and it is very entertaining. And you feel the energy that you have. And I was going to ask you about that. How did you learn how to perform that way and just with your arms. And I wondered, did you used to take dance or have dance lessons? Because it's so different. I learned a long time ago on stage, my dance teacher would tell me in a very constructive way, sometimes not very nice, but she meant well. I knew she loved me, about how, you know, she would video us and say, this is what you think you look like. And in your mind, you may feel that you look crazy or wild, or you're doing your arm, but in the way back of the audience it doesn't look that way. You can barely see movement, so you would have to make things really big. Did you take classes to learn how to do that, or did you have just people nearly rip you off the stage by your strap when you were performing and coming off stage? How did you learn how to do that?

So that's a great question, and it's a couple minutes long because I don't talk about it a lot, but I'll give it to you since you're my bud. Um, but I will make one other point and one other nugget on the back end of the last partition, and that is in wrestling, uh, a nugget for people that are out there, how powerful your words are. And then I'll get to your next question if that's okay.

Yeah.

Um, I remember one of my first interviews because I started out in wrestling as backstage interviewer, and then it blew up into management, and then it blew up into wrestling and just made its way down the, down the line. But I remember running in and seeing 2 guys, one of them on the floor laid out, and it was live TV. So millions of people always when that red light on, and I had no idea what I was doing. No idea. I was just like flying blind. And I remember running in there and I'm like, James Storm has broken his arm. And oh God, I think I got hit for that one, like backhanded, like, what are you doing? And I'm like, What? And they're like, you don't know that his arm is broken or not. The correct terminology is it looks like James Storm— excuse me, it appears as though this person has broken. Appears and is, huge different word choices, especially for live TV.

Yeah.

They're like, now we have to rewrite everything because of you. And, and then everybody was like looking at me like, you ruined my angle and you ruined this and that for me. And it was like I will think very clearly and twice before I— but again, live TV and it's blurting out. So that's another nugget for people that are listening. So let's go back to when I was 3, ran away from home, literally ran away from home with my dog, a 3-year-old, down a busy street looking for the place with the mirrors. There was a place with glass in the front and mirrors, and it was on Penn Avenue in Minneapolis, Minnesota. And it was a dance school and I wanted to go there and I just showed up. You know, I could speak because I'd already been doing, you know, other things. But I literally— my parents were just freaked out, like, where is our 3-year-old daughter? And that's how I started in dance. Now, was I a good dancer? Yeah, I was great. Did I care about practicing?

No.

I was more concerned with closing my eyes and turning around till I puked and fell and getting the rest of the class to do the same, to where they had to talk with my parents by the time I was 4, saying like, she's very disruptive and want to But anyway, big, big stages, they'd bring us out.

And again, I've always been fun.

Just a jerk. No, I was more concerned with moving myself to the front of the line, even though I wasn't choreographed to be there. And then standing there stepping on candy, picking up my foot, smelling it and picking out and eating it in the middle of the performance. Like, I was fascinated by— there's, there's like old, you know, 8mm video of this. And it's just like, what the hell are you doing? Finally, they're like, all right, This girl can sing. We'll just have her dance for a couple of seconds and then we'll move her into a better category. So I'd be the one clowning around on the corner, you know, singing and doing my big motions back then. And, you know, you keep on doing, you keep on doing. Got into movies, got into modeling, got into commercials, all that. You keep on going, you keep on going. And if you're a true entrepreneur or a hustler, you just keep I was the kid with the book. I always had a book, a 3-ring binder of all this crap that I was like— and see, not CDs, tapes. I always had like a tape of me singing, these stupid demo tapes.

I had a 4x binder.

You got a binder? I was just like, here comes the kid with the binder, because I wanted to show people like crappy pictures I'd take of myself. And you remember back in the day, it was like a 110 camera. You got it at Burger King and a Happy Meal, and then came with a roll of film. It's usually like 800 ISO, grainy as hell, you know, and you did your thing. And I figured out that a 4x6 photo could be folded into a J-card for a tape.

I remember I always had J-cards.

Yeah, but then you could take a 4x6 photo and just fold it a certain way that you could have tapes. So I remember attracting the attention of somebody at a pro audio store that I was like, do you want to hear my tape? Don't— God, here, I got a tape. And he's like, I should introduce you to these people. And then anyway, long story short, that was Andre Simone. When Andre Simone was married to Jody Watley, Jody Watley had a hit called I'm Looking for a New Love, Baby, a New— and then Jody Watley was friends with Karen White, and Karen White was married to Terry Lewis. Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis were from— one of them was from The Time that was whole Minneapolis sound, and they produced all of Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation and all of those great— Escapade and all— Black, uh, Black Cat, Velvet Rope. And then now you've got kids like Charlie Puth, you know, going out and studying with these legends, you know. So Jimmy Jam, Terry Lewis, The Time, uh, St. Paul Peterson, Johnson, Jimmy Johnson. What was another John? Another— God, it was a Black dude. He was so awesome. He was like Prince. I can't think of his name. All those guys, all those people, Minneapolis sound.

Yeah, yeah.

I got with them, got with another studio, got a record deal, blah blah blah. And then lo and behold, digging in the trash of somebody, having the cops called on me until finally they're like, what are you doing trespassing on our property? I'm like, I'm looking for your fabric. I sew, I make gimmicks and outfits for my wrestling buddies and To dance with.

And how old were you at this time?

Young, riding my bike to Paisley Park, which I got signed and mentored by Prince. So if you want to know why I'm so good on stage, that's why. I was trained by, I think, in my opinion, one of the greatest entertainers, guitarists, bass players— not vocals, it was interesting. But yeah, Prince really, and Prince's band was They were my mentors too, you know, and physically got in my face. If I talk about your teacher with the videotaping, we had to work 10 hours a day on that record deal. You had to practice 4 to 6 hours, then you reviewed, fast-forwarded some stuff, but you reviewed that every day on a VHS tape. And you had a piece of paper like your— and you had to say, I could improve on this, I could And when you had everything down, the next day you ran it again, but they added another couple of things. You go over the mic stand and you adjust it, because when you're watching a performance, every 15 to 30 seconds you have to do something to get people's mind— their short attention span— to like look. So I trip on stage, I lower my microphone, I knock things over, I go over and touch my bandmate or pat them on the back, or Walk over to the— all these things I was taught by the greatest man, you know. And that's where— I didn't know that. Yeah, a lot of people don't. And I don't, I don't talk about it because I dealt with so many people I wasn't supposed to. I was under contract here, but I was double dipping over here. I was young. And the thing back then is there was no social media, and there was nobody to tell when somebody was sexually harassing you. So I was constantly being cornered by this guy, like cornered, like physically, like I am up on you and it ain't the club. And I am trying to like— and I would always try to figure out a way out of it so that I didn't piss them off and they stopped working with me. But I wasn't going to do that either. That wasn't my style. Well, a lot of women did. And that's cool. Like, I remember all of Prince's girlfriends. And I remember—

Do you remember Diamond and Pearl?

Oh yeah. What did you do with that?

So I— when I was dancing, that's when that song Diamond and Pearl came out.

Diamonds and Pearls.

Diamonds and Pearls, yeah. And one of my friends was Diamond and one was Pearl. And I did— I was doing a commercial for—

oh, what was it for?

Some commercial, because I was a dancer and I was doing some commercial. And one of the girls was telling me how intense it was to work with Prince. Like, when you worked with him, you had to be on. Like, yeah, it was intense. And so that's— I, I just knew he was very, very intense with his work ethic.

Psychotic.

That's, that's what I understood.

Yep. And mean and a lot of things. And that's why— So you knew the girls?

Did you know—

Um, I didn't know them personally because he was married to Mai Tai. My take at that time, um, nobody knew it, and they like billed her as this like Egyptian— remember like the Diamonds and Pearls and like that whole— it was after Graffiti Bridge. There was, um, a young African-American, Ty Trenton, uh, he had another song.

I mean, this is 20-something years ago.

Yeah, this is a long time ago. I was, I was really young, but I didn't know them personally, but I knew everybody in that camp. And I was younger then, still trying to like, you know, make my clothes, do photography, work my way up. And then I would get a bone thrown to me and blah, blah, blah, work with this guy. So everybody that he had employed to groom all of the acts that he was signing, mentoring, working with, I would, I would get my orders, see him for a second. He said some really cool things to me, very powerful, but he wasn't the nicest person. And I don't want to say that or defame his grave or whatnot. But he was a cocaine addict. And, you know, that's how he— if you ever wonder how he knocked out all those hit records, well, he was high the whole time and like, on, on, on. And you would be— you have to dress always. You can't just show up like— you have to be perfect. And I remember like, he was After that, he was dating— was it before that or after? I think it was before that he was dating Carmen Electra. And I would see her in Chanhassen, Minnesota, at the grocery store in full suit, just full, beautiful custom attire. And that's why I originally went digging through his trash, because you can see the bolts of fabric like sticking out. Like, if he didn't like something, he would just dump it, dump it, dump it. And I'm like, oh my God, this is like custom imported fabric. Like, I should show you some of the outfits that I made out of his scraps. And then after, like, proving to him, like, look, if you— I said to one of the people at the studio, if you would just give me $50, I can make your boy band 5 sets of outfits for $50. And they're like, no, no, you can't. I'm like, well, I know who you're using to style, and I know she's $4,000 or $5,000 a style. Why don't you let me— 5 kids, 5 guys, $50. I'll make you basically $25. Like, I'd have to find stuff for like a buck. Yeah, I did. It was amazing. That's how I got the gig as like doing sewing at the studio and all the other studios in the whole area. Like, I was the go-to. Like, she can make stuff out of crap. She can make stuff out of a shower curtain or a bedspread. Or the picture that you see right there, this— that picture, that is, um, a tablecloth that's turned into a 100-foot train.

Wow.

Um, all these things, these buckles and junk hanging off of me, are from purses and bags that I got at thrift stores and cut them apart and made hardware on all kinds of clothes that I made out of— just, I just make stuff out of junk. And because nobody—

I saw your video on YouTube that cracked me up about, about somebody saying that you're cheap. You're like, I'm cheap, I know how to make stuff. I don't, you know, And and y'all have to check her YouTube vid, her YouTube videos out because this video in particular you're talking about everything from tampons to yes, and I was cracking up.

That was cheap. Well, maybe you saw the audition tape.

Oh, the audition. I saw the I watched the audition tape.

Yeah, that turned into a really great television show. And you know, I like people that are listening and your audience to get value from your podcast. And I will tell you that if there is something that you want to do, a business that you want to start, somebody that you want to date, a dream that you have, like, you have to just start and do it. And I remember like yesterday, the ad on Craigslist. You know, there's a lot of people out there that want to be models, or they want to be dancers, or they want to be influencers, or actresses, actors, wrestlers. Like, you can't just think about it, guys. Like, what are you doing about it? Go on Craigslist. You know if it's a rapist or not posting that ad. You know if it's a creeper. You can tell if it's legit. Look them up, get some references, see what's going on. Go to the audition, clean yourself up. If you don't have something to wear, if you don't have any money, go to a thrift store, poke around. There's Goodwill by the pound where it's 99 cents for all you can fit in something that's a pound. You can do this. You can find the change, the money on— and this is something that's coming up, and I'll give you a sneak peek, like Go to, go to a drive-through at Starbucks. I can leave a Starbucks drive-through picking up $4 to $7 in change. So there's your money to go get your outfit, to get cleaned up, to go to an audition, to go to a what, whatever. But I remember, and now it's virtual, so you have no excuse. Like, reborrow something from a friend or a family member. Go on the audition, go on the virtual audition. But they said, are you cheap? If so, send in a quick video, make it real Not professional, just snap something quick and let us know how. And I know from past history, the nicer you make it, the better of a job that you do— you do the best you can with whatever money that you have— that, that's going to get looked at more than somebody's sloppy, you know, nobody cares about that. They want to see like how much— if I'm a casting director, how much effort is going into this? So what you saw as the cheapskates audition reel. I put that up because I like to tell this story. Everybody's got a phone they can edit on, they can edit on iMovie, on a PC. Put yourself in your best light. And I remember I sent in that video, and 33 minutes later, I got a call from the TLC network. I got a call from their casting.

Wow.

You know, I— it was like, that's how quick. And it was like, all of a sudden, I'm on national TV. It's a huge deal. They wrote the band into the whole thing. And a week before they come to my studio for this huge production, the band decided that they didn't want to do it. They didn't want to be a part of it. They thought it was stupid and lame, and they pulled it right before a show. And I just remember shaking and crying and going into the back office, and they're like, it's gonna be okay. And I'm like, it's not gonna be okay. I have a huge 30-person film crew coming to Nashville, Tennessee, and my band thinks this is— I remember him saying, you're stupid. This is just the worst idea ever. You're gonna— this is gonna be the end of your career. Listen to me. Listen to this story. This is bad freaking ass. This is the end of your career. Nobody's gonna— So I went on break, and I texted some old band members that either got fired or left voluntarily. And I said, can I just Please, will you guys learn a couple songs and show up? And they did. Another message: try to leave on a good note with people. Don't burn bridges. And they showed up and they did a great job. And the funny thing is, is how much— and you know, well, I'll just tell you, obviously it's ending my career because those videos have like the upwards of 8 and 9 million views on it.

It was one of the first things that popped up was that audition.

Yeah, yes, that was a bad Bad idea, huh?

Yeah. And you know what? That huge message you just tipped, don't burn bridges. Because, because you're such a good person, you had people that you could reach out to and you had resources. But the thing, one of the things that I admire so much about you is the effort And that you put into everything that you do and the grit that you have. Girl, you've got grit. You're always thinking, okay, well, if this door shuts, maybe there's a window around the corner open. I'm gonna figure out how to do this.

Everybody, guys, if you're watching, like, everybody look for that. Pull your head out of your ass and your pity party that we all go through. Last week I wanted to die. We should segue into like you know, mental health and suicide prevention. Like, I'm like one of the most confident, accomplished people that you know. And even I get just shitty. And it seems to be at the end of the day. And I hope I don't get Alzheimer's or dementia or a condition called sundown. One of my aunts has it where literally at sundown, at right around 5:00 PM, look it up. People don't know this. You get funky and you start getting paranoid. And I hope I don't get that. I hope that doesn't— I know it runs in our family. Sundown.

It's called sundown?

It's called Sundown. And I remember being at her house and one of her buddies came over and I said, let's all go to dinner. No, she said, bam, bam. She said, I'm exhausted. I'm really tired. And I was like, okay, it's 4:33, 5 o'clock. I said, I'm going to go out and grab a bite to eat. Okay? So her friend left. I went on my way. I said, I'll be in a little later. Well, my aunt went to bed. She, she's just— she's 87 years old. And I called the buddy. I have her phone. I'm like, hey, can we go to that Chinese buffet? And like, well, her friend's like, just again, a raging lesbian, you know? And I just love her. And I'm like, I love to ask questions and learn and find out how her life is and her dating life. And I'm just so interested because that's not me. And I want to be empathetic and like really know what time it is. So we talked at that buffet for 3 hours, you know. So it's like maybe 7:30, 8 o'clock, and I'm heading back. And I see the phone ringing and ringing. And I was just like, this isn't gonna be good. I can just feel it. I could feel it. And I remember calling her back. And she was like, where are you? And I was like, oh my God, who am I talking to? It was like, literally like Satan got on the phone. Not my aunt. And I'm like, who is this Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde? And I was just like, be calm, be kind. I said, I am driving home. And she's like, where have you been? Just cut a promo on me, just rip me a new one. I said, well, I went to eat. I met up with your friend. She's having trouble at work. I listened. I tried to offer advice like you would. And then I went to the grocery store and I will be right back. And as I calmly lowered my voice, my volume, tried to be smooth, I could feel her coming to and being embarrassed. I could— oh, oh, well, I'm— well, just, I'll leave the door unlocked. And I'm like, I could just feel— and then I'm like, what just happened? And I looked it up. And sure as— It's a condition called sundown. You should be aware of it for older people. That when they're— and it's, it's like, what are the symptoms? Exhausted, long day, everything that she said to me. And now, now I know to just be really careful. And when I go visit her, I'll change my time around and I'll go to bed real early and get up real early like she is to match her so that I don't disrupt what's going on in an almost 90-year-old's brain.

My oldest daughter had colic. And every day, I would start getting anxiety as the sun would start to go down because that is when her colic really set in. Like she would just cry, cry, and cry, and cry, and cry. Like all night. There would be some nights, you know, and I was a single mom. And so I would be just—

Asleep.

Walking laps around the house. And I was just so stressed out. And so there's something really powerful when the, the sun goes down.

Yes.

No, I don't know what that is, but I, I believe that because I saw it with, you know, my daughter and the colic, and I would start to have that anxiety and dreading when the sun went down. Thank goodness she finally grew out of that, but I had never heard of that condition before.

Think of the Elton John, Bernie Taupin song, Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me. You know, I mean, like, that's—

yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that's— it's biblical. It's been around for ages. And it's just something to keep in mind. But I segued into, you know, last week I was— I had COVID. I have very bad asthma. The COVID affected the asthma. It turned into pneumonia. I was sick for months. And then on top of getting done with that, somebody came by me with a cold. So I was— I'm almost done with it. I still have this. And I was really sick and people are shaming me like, oh, you must have a really low immune— no, you're an asshole. I don't have a low immune system. I, I see hundreds of people and I touch, kiss, hug them, share a mic with them, grab them like you don't. You work in an office cubicle, so you can just be quiet now. Thank you. You know, I don't—

What is that about, that shaming thing? Because I remember, I remember when I had broken my arm.

I was—

yes, I had a broken leg and I fell.

You must have weak bones.

That's what she said. She said, you must have weak bones. I said, no, I got ran over by an SUV, then fell down a flight of stairs.

I don't— I'm not laughing at that. I'm just like, you dumb bitch.

Thanks. But yeah, I'll go check, check it out.

Go to the doctor.

Check out your bone density.

Yeah, no, I mean, it's just like, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all. But I was so sick last week and I work 19 or 20-hour days. I do do photography during the week.

You do so much. And that's one of the questions I want to get to in a minute too, is how do you do all that you do? Because I only see a little of the behind. I only see what you do on, you know, on social media and your YouTube and Twitter. And then like just to be able to put this backdrop— y'all got to check out the backdrop she has here. Wonder Woman. I want to use this as my, like, on my phone, my screensaver, or I don't know.

It's amazing how cute you are, though. Look how beautiful you are.

And look how beautiful you are. I had my hair blown out for you.

And mine's still sick from days of— thank you. I thought about that. I'm like, she did something so pretty today. And I'm going to show up looking like I do. But I'm okay with that. I love looking at you.

Glad you're getting better, that you're recovering from COVID Yes, that had to be so scary because I mean, well, when you have asthma, when you have asthma, it was, but you know, it wasn't, it wasn't that bad.

Well, it was, but you know, not worth shutting the whole world down, sorry to say. And I mean, I do have really bad breathing. And you know what it's from? From being all the clubs all these years without smoke. So I didn't do anything. It's all secondhand smoke.

Don't smoke.

But yeah, last week was really bad. And I found myself just like saying dumb things and thinking bad things. And you just have to, for mental health, for suicide prevention, you have to just stop in your tracks and speak out loud. It helps me. And I'm like, what are you doing? Like, it's— I sound psychotic and I yell and I raise my voice and I move my arms. And I ask myself, like, what are you doing? Just shut up. Just shut up and quit with this and get up and get moving and go outside and do something or go somewhere. Get in the flipping car, your bike, walk to someplace that has something that brings you joy. If it's a piece of salami or a cheese stick, or if it's an ice cream cone, or, you know, sometimes I go to an animal shelter and just walk around or ask if I can volunteer and take a dog for a walk, even with my asthma. That's a bad idea, but it puts me in a different headspace.

Mm-hmm.

Or pick up the phone and don't dump, and like I did on you the other day, Call somebody up and, you know, vomit on you.

I love you.

But do something immediately when you find yourself getting into that place of, I don't want to be here anymore, or the world would be better off without me, or how are things going to ever get better or improve? Just stop and do something physical. That's why I'm so passionate about health and wellness, is so many people's addictions, be it gambling, sex, porn, uh, drugs, drinking, smoking, Whatever. Get to the gym or find an app that's free or do a circuit of jumping jacks, push-ups, high knees, planks, whatever. And the endorphins in your mind will help fix you. And maybe you get addicted to that if that's the least path of resistance or the worst that you can do. You know, I know people replace one addiction for another, but I would much rather see somebody looking like that. Look at my finger went— what's that? That's weird. Somebody looking like that, you know, than drinking themselves to death or whatever. It is so important to recognize when you're going and getting down in the dumps to just stop it in your tracks. Like I said, reach out to somebody. You don't have to be like, I'm dying and I want— you have to do that. You could just be like, hey, do you want to go to Sephora with me? Or my favorite thing to do is to go to the buy-the-pound Goodwill to, you know, it's the, the outlet stores.

I want to go there with you. Oh my God, I used to love going to like thrift stores and stuff, and I haven't been in a long time. I would love to go.

Prada, Gucci purses, uh, Louis Vuitton. I've gotten all of this great stuff, and it's just so much fun to hunt. And to— you get stuff with the price tags on it for $200 and you paid 30 cents for it. Like, that's a rush for me. And I'm getting something brand new for 30 cents. I didn't break the bank. I'm not getting into debt. My partner, my friends, whomever isn't going to be mad at me. But there's just something about poking around. And the best thing about it is all the Hispanic people that are there. There's always just packed with Hispanic people. They don't speak English. They're so freaking precious. Like, they see what you're looking for and they like, huh? And they hold it up. And then like, I let them know, like, I speak Spanish. And they get all excited. And then I start looking for stuff that my fat ass can't fit into. But they they can, and I hold it up, and I'm like, ah, you know. Do you want this? And they're like, and I'm like, muy caro. It's very expensive, huh? And I pull it up on it, show them what it costs, and they get so excited. Then I see them looking for more stuff for me, you know. And it's like it's all about like so cute. Yeah, it's so much fun. And like this guy from Africa, my our band and I when we're touring, we all I'm like they're like holy there's an outlet.

I'm like oh we're good.

And we go on, we try to make it fifteen minutes or less because one of them could care less. But some guy from Africa was like, brother, you would look very good in these. And it like went up to our bandmate, and my bandmate was just like, are you kidding? And they were like a $300 pair of shoes.

Wow.

He was so proud because he was huge, big guy, big feet. This guy, our guy doesn't. He was so proud to be able to come up to us because he could tell we were on a shoe mission. We usually are. And give that. And it was just like— and then the best part of that is to go let the clerk know, here's $10, it's for that guy's purchases, and to pay it forward to him so that he gets some free stuff that day. Like, that's such an easy, fun thing to do at Starbucks or a drive-through, providing it's not like a family of 20 in the car where you're like, I'd like to pay for that car.

Yeah.

I was gonna do it the other day and my, my friend said, no, no, there's too many people in the car. I was like, all right. Yeah, but you know, remember when you're getting down in the dumps like that, other people are too, to stop yourself dead in your tracks— not, not literally— and to really recognize what's going on and to physically go do something to change that. Put on beautiful— not destructive— put on beautiful music, sing a song, call an old friend, reach out to somebody because maybe they're hurting too. So important. What do you do when you're feeling crappy?

I love what all you shared. And there's been many times where I felt crappy, a lot. And I think a lot of times because I post so often about positive things and motivation that people think I'm just a positive and motivated person. I'm not. I have to work at it. And—

Oh God, I get you.

The reason I work at it is because I have been at a place where I didn't want to live anymore. And I thought my family would be better off without me. And so I don't ever want to get that low again or get to that place. And so—

Isn't that horrible?

Yeah. And I just, so if I do some things, like if I have to move my body, I have to move however I can because it does move your mood. And so some days I'm hurting so bad, but actually moving my body makes me feel better. I mean endorphins combat pain.

So I know.

Moving, getting outside, getting some sunshine in between Zoom sessions. When I didn't have, you know, like I was struggling as a single mom and there were some days I didn't know how I was going to pay for our food, or I would shop at the 99 Cent Store. And so when I knew we had food, I would go and I would take my oldest daughter and I'd be like, you can get one thing. Oh, and so I would let her pick out one thing. And so my mom came to visit me once and she took her to the 99 Cent Store and said, pick out anything you want. And she said, well, no, my mom says I can have one thing. My mom said, well, no, today you can have many things, as many as you want. And I feel like I had, you know, I had like, you can have one thing. And so now, you know, my oldest daughter really knows the value of a dollar because she saw, you know, she learned a lot about grit and overcoming just through— we did so much together. She went to work with me. She would be underneath the little desk in the office cubicle. But I'm glad you brought this up because there's so many people, and it doesn't matter how successful you are, it doesn't matter how much money you make, it doesn't matter if you're rich or poor or what kind of job you do, we all get down. We all go through these times where we're struggling. And I think one of the hardest things for me was to reach out and admit that I needed help then. Now, not so much. Now I'm just like, I need help.

You know?

I call people. But that was really hard for me at first. But it changes your life when you start to really take a look at what's going on, be in acceptance for where you are, but then take an action step, even if it's one thing. Don't think you have to do all these different things, but take one action step. Decide, commit, and just do one thing. So what were you going to say though, Goldie?

Just if you have a hard time reaching out to people for help, then it is proven when you do help somebody else that it not only helps them, but it helps you. When I am in the shittiest of moods and I am vile and foul, and I call it I shouldn't be around humans. I go out someplace to a grocery store or someplace where I can hold the door for somebody, or I can take their cart and push it back for them, or help an older person. Because immediately when I do something of service for somebody else, for no other reason— well, selfishly, because I know it's going to make me feel better, but to help them— again, I am instantly feeling like I've got a skip in my step and I'm on top of the world. And it is a very similar feeling to— we all know what it's like when we first met somebody that we had an attraction to, and they reciprocated the attraction. And all of a sudden, you felt like, you know, you see cartoons depicted with somebody walking on air, and they've got a skip in their step and little hearts coming out of their head and whatnot. It's a very similar feeling to those dopamines kicking out like that you did something for somebody else. And it is proven, and endorphins, dopamine, That, that's a drug that's coming through your brain. No different.

It gets you out of your self-pity. For me, even when I was stuck in a hospital bed—

You said that, remember? Giving advice.

Yeah, I was doing whatever I could, even if it was just making a phone call or talking to the nurses or just being there for us as a sounding board for the nurses who were so frustrated with all the things that they had to do in the hospital. And so I love that you share that because being of service does so much for you. It makes you feel better, and it does— it is scientifically proven, the endorphins and the dopamine.

It—

let that be your drug of choice.

If you are really just out of it, call and find out where a local shelter is for homeless people and go feed people for a day, for a night, for an afternoon. You really want to get your priorities in check. You'll be feeling, you know, pretty good that you even have a place to stay, you know, no matter what.

Shift your perspective. I mean—

And be kind. Yeah, to them.

Kind. But I am telling you, God puts signs in front of me all the time. And, you know, one day I was at the gym and I was all pissed off because I couldn't do cardio because my leg was hurting so bad. And then the lady in front of me was doing cardio and had no arms. Yeah. I was like, okay, Amberly.

Yeah.

Start where you are. Use what you have and do what you can.

Yes.

The other day, I was all embarrassed. Um, I was doing a photo shoot and I was like really embarrassed and self-conscious of my deformed foot and my toe. You know, there's— my toes are metal and my ankle's fused. And we were doing the photo shoot and I was barefoot. You couldn't wear shoes in the house. And I was feeling very self-conscious.

Really?

And yeah. And I looked down at the makeup artist. She had her toe amputated. And I was like, thank you, God. Like slap some sense into me. I have a toe. I have a foot. I'm walking. Sometimes I think we need those little perspective shifts. And I feel like God is always there to let me know One thing that I do love about you also is that you are proud to talk about God, and it's one of your favorite things to do.

I just wish that everybody would have a relationship with, with somebody. And we said that yesterday, if it's Buddha or Yahweh or Jesus or God, or I know people that are Wiccans and they, they love plants and just they find energy with the earth and Whatever it is that you know— mine's Jesus. Uh, people say, you know, why? Because whether you're Christian or not, he's just a freaking cool dude, you know? He's just some long-haired hippie cat that cruised around and like hung out with hookers and tax collectors and didn't judge people, and he was kind of a badass. Like, whether or not you even believe he's the Messiah, or he's— you don't have to even— he's just, just like Buddha. Buddha was a cool dude, like, these are cool people, like, to, to just look at their lives and what they did and how they were of service. And it's like, I wish that I could be more patient like Jesus is. And I gotta tell you, being in the South, I don't know what Jesus Christ a lot of these people are worshiping. And I'll let them know right to their face, like, I don't know who you're worshiping, but that sure as hell isn't the guy that I grew up in Catholic school learning about. Did I get smacked around by sisters? Yes, I did. Was Catholic school hardcore? Yes. But we did sing songs like, and you will know they are Christian by their love, not by your judgment, or you're going to burn in hell if you don't exactly agree with this, or you're gay, or you're— what? That's not— it's not for us to, you know, you got to look at what are the Ten Commandments? What are the Beatitudes? I mean, you just look at what our whole— used to be. And that's what's wrong. Sorry, our entire world and country used to be based on the Ten Commandments. Let's take a look at these horrible things that you shouldn't kill people. All right, boy, what that— you know, let's take that one out of schools. Let's just go around killing people. You shouldn't steal, you know, you shouldn't covet other people's stuff or their, their partners or whatever. Like, it's not bad stuff to go by, you know, those rules or the Beatitudes. And I think maybe only Catholic people Maybe Christians have the Beatitudes, but, you know, blessed are they, the meek and lowly, they will enter the kingdom of God. Or blessed are they, the poor of spirit. Like, it's basically talking about, like, all of the people that aren't— wouldn't be, like, you know, top social media influencers. They're, like, considered, like, the bottom feeders. Like, blessed are they for their humility and being humble. And there's beautiful songs and beautiful words about the Beatitudes. And I just think You know, Jesus was just a calm, cool dude, and he had great lessons. Like, if people don't like you, and then dust— get back up and dust everything off and move on to where the action is. No different than in direct sales, when if somebody over here isn't doing anything, I'm not going to be mad about it. I'm just going to look for the action and who wants to work with me. No different than if I've got a bunch of friends and some of them just ghost me. They just putz out, and I wonder what the heck did I do. I'm not going to worry about it anymore. Because sometimes that's God removing people from your life that might be toxic for you. If you know that you didn't do anything and you're going along— well, it'd be like if you just stopped ever liking my stuff again and you just blocked me and never talked to me again. I'd be like, well, geez, did I say something offensive on her show? Or I know I haven't done anything wrong. Maybe that's just their problem or something that they're going through, or they don't want to be around somebody happy or positive or Maybe they're cheating on their spouse and you're friends with both of them and they don't want you to know. Or maybe they're secretly gay. I had a lady that was gay and like just obsessed with me, and then it got weird. And okay, well, it just— you can't worry about why, why somebody else does what, what they want to do. You need to worry about you and, and keep on going.

It's so important to stay in your lane.

It is.

Do the best you can do, you know. It's, you saying that reminded me, my daughter, we have a situation where we have someone in our life and this person has got, he's a lot of drama, a lot of drama and talks bad about other people. And that's not who I want to be around.

No, you don't need that.

And I had told her, I said, you know, we're going to, I said, that's not what I, I don't want you raised around that. And she said, well, if we leave, you know, he's going going to talk bad about us. And I said, Ruby, we're going to be so good that no matter what anybody said, no one, he said, no one would believe it. And that's all you can do is just be the best that you can be and stay true and have integrity and have some values that you stick to. And that's how I'm trying to raise, you know, raising my kids the best I can. Oh, you are. Oh, good. Because yeah, there are people out there like that. And it's like, oh, life is short. I mean, life is short. I want to be around people that I really care about that are positive and good and have integrity and good values like you.

I appreciate that. I'm always a work in progress. And I thank you for that. And I was gonna mention, I remember one in Chanhassen, like literally right by Paisley Park, there was a church. And one time I got up and left because the guy was just like so off his— he was talking badly about entertainers. And I'm like, okay, we'll see you. But I came back when a different priest was there, and I remember him saying, how many of you have broken how many of the commandments or whatever like that? And he's like, how about the top three? And like nobody raised their hand. You know, he's like, how about has anyone broken the thou shalt not kill? You know, and like nobody raised their hand. He's like, well, everybody should have their hands raised because you've all killed. And they're all like people like you know that was his hot point. And his point was is every time that you gossip. That you say something about somebody when they are not around to defend themselves, you are killing and taking a piece of that person and stealing from the stealing, killing, defamation of character. And then he said, if you hear somebody doing it and you don't stick up for them, my mom always said that, and you don't speak up and say, you know, you don't need to like camp out or whatever like that, but you can say, hey, hey, hey, you know, Bob's not around here to defend himself. Can we just pivot the conversation to something more productive and positive? Like, that's not like to to shut it down. To shut it down when you hear gossip. And yesterday on the live stream, who was it? Sharon Lecter. Yes, from Rich Dad Poor Dad.

I love Sharon.

She was great. And she was saying, did you know it wasn't Sharon Lecter? It was Marie Diamond from the French Riviera, from The Secret. Marie Diamond. And they put us up and we went at it. And I was just, you know, saying why I really liked her and I loved her part in the secret. And she said, you know, Goldie, that when somebody's got something negative, the average is they call 11 people to tell them. 11 people it's shared with, 11 people you've got to tell something negative, as opposed to 3 people that you share when something is positive. And I'm like, girl, it's got to be like 300 times 1 versus 1 these days. Like, and she's like, if we could just shift that so that we constantly want to call and share something positive because I get so tired of seeing all of these videos with somebody falling down the fucking stairs. And that's— isn't that funny? No, it's not. Or an accident like yours. Like, people are— it's like, can you guys post something where somebody's getting better or something great is happening or an award or just mix it up with something funny that doesn't, like, hurt somebody? But that's like, I can put up a post about health and wellness and I just laugh because it's like no likes at all. I can put up something for icancer.life. another thing that I— a program, a platform that I started trying to get people like, hey, do you know anybody in a hospital that we could come in and do this whole movement that we're doing? Gets nothing. I can put up a little kid that needs help, a dollar given for cancer, for something, anything. Nobody do anything. But if I put up a picture of my tits, boy, that's gonna get a bunch of likes. It can be the ugliest picture ever. But if my boobs are in it, like, we all flock to that. I'm like, what is this? Like, and I get angry and hot about it, and I'm passionate. Can you guys just share some good stuff of substance, for the love of God? And then I get so pissed about— I'm an empowered woman, and it's just disgusting content that back in the day, you just— I wish that we would go back to the days where there was a dance to learn, because I, you know, we didn't even have cell phones back then. You'd knock on your friend's door and, hey, come out, let's breakdance and break your butt is what you'd break. But you learn, you know, all these dances. And when we do— I love line dancing, and it literally brings tears to my eyes. Like, even when people do the Cupid Shuffle, because it's, it's, it's black, it's white, yellow, purple, gay, straight, all these different walks of life. Everything that everybody's mad about in the world, people forget about it. And they— oh, I recognize that song, and I want to dance. I want to show off to my guys sitting there, my girl. And the staff comes out from the kitchen and, and you make a big fuss about it and management and, and everybody in unison does a dance. And it's just like, it's music and it's art and it's dancing. And, and I love it because when I literally have to look at drunk people sticking their butts up in the air and twerking, I'm just like, it makes me want to puke. I'm just so over it. I'm just like, you're drunk and you're making a complete ass of yourself. And Then you're gonna wonder, like, the— at the end of the night when something possibly bad happens to you, like, what are you doing? So I just wish— I wish things would get back to, like— not that I'm old, not that you're old, but, like, things used to be different before social media. It was, it was different, and I miss it. So yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what I was trying to say with that, but—

Social media can be a blessing and a curse. And, you know, it's been amazing because it's connected me with so many people from all over the world. I mean my, you know, graphics guys in India. I've got friends that are doing my mastermind that are in Hawaii or, you know, or Florida or in other places in the United States that I wouldn't be able to connect with them had we not met on social media. And it— there can be some good things, but I know there can also be a lot of stress with social media. How do you— I want to get back to how you manage all that you do. And I know we'll be wrapping up here pretty soon, but—

Yep.

I think a lot of people, they want to use social media for their business, but it can be stressful. Um, how do you do so much? Because You do so many events. You have your show, you have your band, you do your health and wellness business. You have like a multitude of businesses and you're constantly posting. I know you do all your own edits and stuff, which blows me away. My husband could not believe the introduction—

Oh, he's so cute.

That you made. I'm not kidding. I showed him, I was like, Look at this. He goes, oh my gosh, who is that? When you were talking in this beautiful introduction and video that you made, I was blown away. But how do you stay grounded and use social media to, you know, create buzz to get people at your shows? How do you keep that harmony in your life?

Well, I don't have kids. I don't have children. I don't have a husband. Or, you know, I, I do have a partner that I keep, I keep it super on the down low. And I try to find things that my partner and I can do, um, together, you know, that we can kill— I hate the word phrase kill two birds with one stone, but like, we try to go to the gym together, we try to create things or, you know, build outside or whatever. And I don't, I don't, I don't tell anybody that I'm with somebody because, um, I don't want them to ruin it. And you know what it's like if you're out and It's like there's just some people that wake up to just figure out what kind of a wrench they can throw in. And I just have such a great time with this person that it seems as though people are protect— jealous of my time because I'm doing so many things that, oh, you're with that. It doesn't matter if it's a girl or a guy, or my own dad gets jealous if I come to town and don't spend all the time. It's like I have to kind of be on the down low. I'm not lying. Well, white lies. I have to be on the down low with what friend I'm with because I can literally see them getting jealous. Like, why aren't you coming with us? Or why aren't you doing— it's just like So it is hard to get ground. So I guess one of my secrets is I, I tell a few white lies here and there, and I don't feel badly about it if it's gonna spare somebody's feelings.

Yeah, I do it. You know what this reminds me of?

Yeah.

Do you know who Heather Monahan is?

I don't. Tell me.

She's awesome. I had her on the podcast, and she has a book called Creating Confidence, or Confidence Creator, and a podcast all about creating confidence. And she posted today, and it really kind of hit me. She said Don't confuse my free time for my availability. My free time is my time. Yes. And I think that was like, oh wow, because I've noticed, you know, I've had people go, oh, well, you couldn't get together, but I saw you were working out.

Oh my God.

Oh my—

please don't even get me started on that. And you know what? I'm guilty of the same thing. Like when somebody doesn't get I'm gonna tell you, when I text somebody a very specific question, blah blah, and it's not me dinking around or pie in the sky, it's a very specific question and they don't answer it, and I see that they read it and then they're online posting, I want to— I want to smack them upside the head and say, could you just give me the courtesy of, are we getting together on this day or not? Or can you this or can you not? Like, don't leave me hanging, you flake. And that is the one thing 2020— 2019, I'm like, do not waste my time. You waste my time, we're done. That, that's all you have. I've been broke. That's a whole nother podcast. Fallen on my face, bankrupt, lost my record deal, lost my publishing deal, hit television show, just living on the street basically. Then all you have is your word, your name, and your time. So don't mess with mine. Like, people need to just get out of your vagina. That's what I say to my band. Get out. Like, get out of here, get out of my face. Like, that's my time. I like this lady. She's right, right on the money. Like, how dare you? When people— we just got done talking about mental health, and you don't know what somebody's going through that day. And maybe they just wanted to sit on their butt and have an ice cream cone or watch a bird or whatever. Like, don't get in people's stuff. If you're so worried about getting in people's stuff, then you've got too much time on your hands. You need to go find something to do. But I don't have kids. I don't have a husband. I don't have all the responsibilities that grownups have. That— so therefore, I schedule things like school. I don't always get to stick to it, but I try to give myself 45 minutes, the busier I am at home, for working out. 15-minute break to go dink around and make a protein shake and then put in a load of laundry. And then I go back to— I'm going to edit for 1 whole hour without looking at my phone or getting on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram.

Mm-hmm.

I'm going to take a 15-minute break. I'm gonna walk outside, pet a stray cat that I have. I have a feral cat. And I'm gonna come back in, I'm gonna do 2 hours of this. Like, I literally treat it like school. And I make a checklist on my phone, on my calendar, and I put a little smiley face when I get it done, and it carries on to the next day. If I don't give myself a regimented schedule, I'm all over the place. ADD, ADHD, whatever. If you have a problem getting done, make a little list, make a whiteboard, whatever you need to do, carry it on your phone. And hold yourself to it. But don't beat yourself up if something happens. Or my dad's friend died from COVID a couple days ago. He's freaking out. He's feeling his mortality. My heart hurts for him. Well, then out the door goes my list. You know, a friend needs help, out the door goes your list. That's okay. Make yourself a list. That's how I do everything that I do. And then I spend some time instead of just wasting it on dumb stuff, I watch YouTube and learn something. Learn how to edit, learn Final Cut Pro, learn photography, take a masterclass. We all see that stuff and screenshot it.

Really, it's, it's you make time for what's most important to you. You do, you know, you really do. If something's important, you're gonna make the time, you're gonna find the time to do it. And I say that because let me tell you, back in the day, you know, I'm a recovering alcoholic. By the grace of God, I have 5 years of sobriety.

And— That's so awesome, girl. Like, wow.

Thank you. It— this last year was probably the hardest, but I always tell myself, I found time some way, somehow to go get a drink, so I can find some way, sometime, somehow to go to a meeting or to read out of my spiritual book Or to pray first thing in the morning. We really have to find time to do the things that bring us joy, that keep us grounded, that keep our business moving because there are so many distractions. I feel like there are just so many distractions out there that are like the devil. You know? And it's like important to really stay grounded. So I just love how much you do and that you do it with such confidence and you have such dignity. And, you know, when somebody first meets you, you know, I think people judge a book by its cover. And they see this drop-dead gorgeous girl who's doing all these things. And when you really get to know you, and I can't wait to get to know you more and more and more because every time I spend time with you, I always—

Thank you.

leave with more wisdom or inspiration. And just—

Oh, same. Thank you.

I really do. And, you know, how much that you have shared and helped me from the very beginning, from when we first met. And so I just would love if you could give, before we go, some advice to some entrepreneurs out there that want to do just maybe even a couple of the things that you're doing. You know, your show is so successful. You've got a band, you're doing interviews, you're doing all these events. What's one thing that you could suggest to an entrepreneur who really wants to do what they love like you do?

To just start. Literally, you don't need any money these days. Don't, don't use that as an excuse. No matter what it is that you want to do, like I said, there are so many resources out there. There are so many free programs. There's so many find 2 people who are doing what you like to do, what you want and aspire to do, and use them as an inspiration point. You don't have to copy— isn't the word I'm looking for— but like see what they're doing. Reach out to them. Ask them, you know, maybe they're just done and they don't— they're sick of everybody and they don't want to help you, but they might. You know, I, I, I'm writing a book because I was inspired by Tim Ferriss's 4-Hour Workweek. Go read that book. Um, I'm plugging my Amazon, amazon.com/shop/goldywithaylocksrocks. There's—

And you know that that link is going to be— that's going to be in the link of the show notes. Um, because I didn't even know how all that worked, and you were kind enough to kind of explain all of that to me. So yeah, it, it's going to be in the show notes here, but y'all also go check her out Instagram, you have all your links and everything up on Linktree. But go to your website. Where's the best place for people to find you?

Just, you know, if you even go to Instagram, Goldilocks Rocks, there's, there's a Linktree in there and everything. But what I was saying about Tim Ferriss's book, 4-Hour Workweek, is read that book. There is just so many great nuggets in there about how to do everything for nothing, or the best way to do things. And I learned a lot from that. And so I'm writing a book With my own take on the cheapest ways to do everything so that you can go do whatever you wanna do because things don't need to cost a lot of money. And I, that's what most people think. I can't do this because I don't have this or that. Talk to people. That's my advice. You don't even need to say that I'm gonna, I am. I tell these kids that are posting that I'm gonna be a photographer. I'm like, no, you are a photographer. You are. I'm a photographer and I shoot people and I shoot wildlife. And then just go do it to the best of your ability and get better, but start. So many people paralyze and self-sabotage themselves and never get around to doing anything because they don't want to fail. You know what? You don't want to, you know, go big or go hard. Have the grit that Amberly has. Like, do you really have an excuse when you're listening to the show and what this woman has been through and you see what she's doing? You know, worried about your dumb toes? Girl, quit that. I would have smacked you in the face. Shut up. You know, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, just, just go. Start. And even if it's a pile of crap, it's okay. Like the most successful YouTube people in the world that are making millions of dollars off of their brand, that's their, that's their advice. Like just start. They go look back at their original videos and the audio is all sketchy and whatever.

But who cares?

You started and you get better and you grow and you, you know, you don't, again, you don't want to put out complete garbage. But there's enough resources out there. YouTube, find out how to do things make a whole, you know, bookmark on your Google of all these things. I do that all the time— band, photography, health and wellness. And at the end of the day, like we talked about yesterday, and I'll close with this, make sure that you're doing something every day to help somebody else. Be of service to people for no other reason than just to freaking be of service, not because they're gonna buy something or you're hustling something or slinging, because You just want to make a difference and help somebody out. And keep your eyes open for people that need help. It might even be a flipping compliment. You should see people's eyes light up, especially if you can tell they're not a person that gets a lot of compliments. Be sincere. You know, a lot of the girls that come to my show, I'm just like, you got big boobs, good for you. I'll never have that. I'll just always be rocking my little C cups over here, and that's what I've got, and I'm grateful for that.

Well, you're hot.

When I see it, well, I'm happy with me, but I see girls with like these big cowabungas and I'm just like, you know, and, and I like to tell them that. It brings me joy to tell them that because it's usually really big curvy girls and I don't think enough people compliment them on the things that like, wow, like that's just killer, like good for you. And they usually have like a cool top on or something like that, or they've got pretty hair or blue eyes that I have to spend money on contacts that hurt me to I can't even see you half the time, but I look cool. You know, compliment somebody on something that is sincerely beautiful and authentic to them. And do one a day at least. Make sure that you can write down at the end of the day, I did this. And, and start out with that being your agenda of what can I say, you know. And I really appreciate you having me on the show. And I know everybody wants to be on your show, and I appreciate the people that have made it this far in the podcast and know that you are loved. And I like to tell people— I talk to schools and I go to chemical dependency centers and speak, and I go to prisons and speak— and I always tell people, um, if you ever need me— with some little kid, I said, we need a code word, because it was kids, it was last chance, that had all like tried to hurt themselves. And I said, we need a code word if you ever need to find me. And some of these kids have found me 20 years later. It's purple shorts. Purple shorts is the code word. If you're just And whether that be somebody listening or even you, Amberly, like, if you're just like, I want to fall off the wagon today, I want to drink, like, just shoot me a text, purple shorts, and I will find a funny meme or something to keep you on track.

Cry right now.

But no, but I mean, it's sincere, like, for people that are out there and they're just like, this is my life, get all— find me. And I'm giving it to Amberly now. She might have to put it— Amber, it's Amberly. I say Amber, but it's Whatever.

My husband calls me that.

It's Amberly. Find me and then, you know, her if you need to, but find me, purple shorts, and I'll find something to say to make you feel better. If that's all that I can contribute on the planet, then so be it. And yes, I curse and swear, but I still believe in the guy. I am a rocker and a wrestler. I cleavage.

Her, her Jesus, her Jesus necklace.

The blinged-out teeth. And you got to see like all the brothers at the fuel stations when we're touring. And I wear this especially on Easter when we're touring. I have so many brothers that like, we almost fight over this. Like they've got something on like, can I trade you? I'm like, no, you can't. No, you can't. That is not true. Jesus, my blinged-out Jesus with the gold grill and the diamond teeth. No, like find me purple shorts and we'll find something good to say. Don't abuse it. But if you absolutely need it and you just need somebody to remind you how awesome you are, you reach out. It's so easy to find me or Amber, Amberly.

And you know what? She means what she says because out of the blue, you'll just send me a text message that just brightens my day, that makes me laugh. You do every time. And you know what? When you see somebody's name on your phone, you know that you— that's your kind of people when you're like, You get excited. I get excited when I see your name pop up on my phone. You got to be careful when you see somebody's name pop up on your phone. You're like, oh, what do they want? That's when you're like, oh yeah, you should look at that relationship.

Nope. I try to like just reach out and sometimes I never hear from anybody again. Sometimes, I mean, they don't reach out to me. That's okay. Like people I've dealt with in the past, but I still try to just let them know. Like I try to say I'm sending good vibes or something like that. So back to mental health. When you're feeling at your lowest, reach out and do something of service for somebody else. And I promise you that you'll feel better in purple shorts. And thank you. I will let you get away now. I know you got another one to go to.

And I know— thank you so much. Tell us one more time where everybody can find you.

Just Goldilocks Rocks on Instagram. Of course, there's goldilocksband.net, .com, probably .net. There's so many of them.

As I said, you have a lot of links.

So easy to find.

Yeah, and just Google her and all her music comes up. The song that had me in tears, speaking of mental health, is All to You. So you can search that, All to You.

Look at that. I cry when I talk about what that song means and what I wrote. I literally bawl my ass off like some raging lunatic. That is how my relationship is with Jesus Christ, and I, I just can't even talk about it. Oh, I wish that for everybody. I wish for everybody that you would know this, this awesome dude. And I'm like, listen to me, I'm like some swearing freak. Like, I'm not like some Bible-bashing chick at all. I'm like always trying to defend everybody. But like, that is my be-all and end-all, that there's— you guys, there was this dude, whether you believe it's a fictional story or not, like, talk about the ultimate suicide. The guy went to the mountain and prayed to his dad and said, can I Can I not be crucified and nailed to a cross? And his dad said, no, you got to carry on what the prophecy is so that everybody can have their sins forgiven. Like, go look it up. You don't even need to be Christian to look this stuff up. And like, can you imagine? Can you imagine his mom Mary, like, watching your son that you know could save himself and then having people jeer at you and say, save yourself, save yourself, and then having them let go a convicted murderer? To somebody that's got nothing. Like, that just— that's what All to You is about, is about the ultimate sacrifice. So if you are thinking about taking yourself out, don't bother, because somebody else already did that trick, okay? And did it epically. And you can just say blah blah blah and take Jesus and God out of schools, fine. But you know what? I will end the podcast on this. If Jesus and God don't matter, and you take it out, and you take out the the national anthems places, and we can't salute or have statues that are good, not the bad ones, or you can't say the Pledge of Allegiance, fine, take it all out. But you know what? 2 times a year, which is Easter, the guy's rising, and his birthday, the Christmas, Walmart closes. I rest my case. He's a big deal. If the Walmart closes, then you got to know that shit's going down. That's all I got to say.

It's a big deal.

It's not what I'm saying. Like, yes, Walmart did. COVID couldn't even kill Walmart, but they shut down for a birthday. So recognize and celebrate. Yeah, there you go, girl. Thank you so much.

I love you. Okay, I love you. Thank you.

Bye, girl.

Thanks so much for Thank you for joining us this week on True Grit and Grace Podcast. If you like it, please rate it or share it with your friends. That would help too. If you're not yet on the newsletter list, come over to amberlylago.com and jump on it. While you're there, you can grab a free downloadable gratitude journal, and you might just want to check out my book or even check out my monthly motivational membership. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next week.