Self-Love Through Career and Motherhood with Ali Levine

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert and bestselling author. Each week, I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought leaders and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace. Hi, welcome back to True Grit and Grace. I'm really excited about today's guest because being a mom, it's been a bit of a struggle lately with homeschooling, working. And so I was excited when Ali Levine said yes to being on the show. She is originally from New York where she has worked with some of the biggest brands in the fashion industry. And she relocated to Los Angeles Where she has become a household name for mom— she's a mompreneur, a household name for being a stylist. And you were recently on Bravo's hit TV show Stripped with your husband. And I am loving your podcast. She's got a podcast called Stripped Down where she really shares like raw, authentic, the journey of being a mom and also has quite a few celebrity guests on. And I'm just so excited to have you here, Ali. Thank you for being on.

Yes, thank you for having me. So great to be here.

Yeah, well, I definitely want to dig in to see how you are juggling it all because you are working, you're a mom, you've got 2 beautiful daughters. We originally met through Instagram. And it's crazy. I've never met you in person, but I feel like I know you because I see— I love watching your stories. And your sweet girls on Instagram. And I love all you do. But I was like, oh my gosh, how is she doing it all? I know I've been struggling lately being a mom and trying to work from home. And I have a lot of friends who are in the same boat. And you're doing that all and nursing a 3-month-old. So before we get into questions about how you're doing it all, can you tell us a little bit about your journey and being in the fashion industry and your transition into moving to LA?

Yeah, absolutely. Well, thanks for the kind words. It's funny when you hear someone like read about you, you're like, oh yeah, I did do that. And I did do that. Thank you very much. So I'm originally from New York, as you said. I always knew I loved fashion. I always, you know, felt so inspired by fashion. I didn't know what I was going to do in fashion, but I just knew it would be within that field. Lo and behold, I studied all kinds of, you know, different classes in fashion and tried to figure out what was going to be design, was it merchandising? What was it going to be? My path was kind of chose for me at first when I was at college. I ended up being the head of our fashion club in Arizona called— the school was Northern Arizona University. Long story short, I followed a boy who was not my husband out to Arizona thinking that he was going to be my husband.

I think a lot of us have done that. Right?

All of us at some point have followed a guy. So I followed him to Arizona because he was going out there for military. And he wanted, you know, us to be out there together. So I went out to Northern Arizona University and, you know, got my fashion degree there. And I think it was actually a blessing in disguise because even though him and I did not at all work out, it was a smaller school and I was kind of this big fish in a small pond. And, you know, because I was from New York and I had, you know, worked, you know, in fashion, you know, in high school at so many different, you know, amazing designer stores and done little internships throughout high school to get like little, you know, mini experiences and all these things. When I got to, you know, college, I already kind of had like a leg up and knew really what I was doing, where I was going, and what I wanted. And so I became the president of the fashion club there of NAMA. And, you know, I had all these opportunities presented to me for other students to be able to help them get a job when we were all finishing up at school. And it just so happened while I was sitting down with like Target and Macy's and Bloomingdale's and all these heads of corporate to find jobs for students that I happened to be offered to intern for Target as well. And so I was able to— it was so cool. They were— they're such an amazing company. And so they trained me. I became, you know, an intern for their executive softlines team. And after interning with them, they were like, hey, you know, you've been amazing. We want to fast-track you to our management team. We want to, you know, send you over to corporate. And so I started training back in New York, started training, you know, in New York City at their like big flagship store and training that they had for corporate. And that kind of like got things going for me again, being back in New York. And I, you know, worked for Target for quite a few years and did really amazing with them. I was like 21 years old and I was running one of their stores. It was kind of crazy. And I loved it, but I realized retail wasn't for me. And so that was when I kind of had to make this hard decision of like, what am I going to do? You know, there was this company, they built me up, they've trained me all these things. And I turned to them and they said, well, no worries. You know, you can go work in corporate in Minnesota and design and do this and do that. And I thought, oh, Minnesota. I left New York because it was cold. You know, I was like, you know, I was enjoying Arizona. It was hot. That's terrible, but true. And, you know, I was young and I was like, you know, I flew out there, I let them show me the opportunity, but it just wasn't for me. I was not the kind of girl that was just wanting to go to Minnesota. I loved New York. I'd only moved because of a stupid guy. So it was like, I want to put my roots back in New York, you know? So fast forward, I left Target, started working in New York City for a company called Fragments, which was a private label jewelry company for many years where I helped design and do shipping for like Aeropostale, Banana Republic, Saks, Neiman Marcus, you know, all like low-end to high-end private label brands. And then from there, I was asked to go to Coach. I worked for Coach on their non-CC team with Reed Croft. And we did all the like non-actual CC, you know, accessories and bags and everything. Then I went to Lacoste and Talbots. I was all over the map in fashion. And after, again, quite some time and the stock market was crashing, I had been let go from Coach and I was like, okay, now what? You know, I felt like, oh my gosh, I built up this whole fashion behind me and now the stock market is crashing and there's no fashion you know, jobs and like, oh my God, what do I do? And I remember feeling so lost. Started like thinking like, what is it that I maybe want to do in this time where everything's kind of on hold, you know, with my industry? And then I realized, you know what, I want to give more of the happening entertainment world a shot. But I didn't— styling really wasn't a term back then, you know? Like—

What year was this? Was this like in 2008 or—

Yeah, something like that. I was gonna say I'm gonna date myself. Something like that. Because I was— because I Finished college in 2006. So it was probably, yeah, it was probably like 2008, 2007, 2008. And, you know, it was just like everybody, you know, fashion especially was kind of like very limited jobs and everything was on hold and—

Kind of like we are now.

Right, I know, go figure. Yeah, and so it was like, okay, you know, what am I gonna do? And stylists, you know, really they weren't a term back then. Rachel Zoe's show had like kind of just came out. I was just starting to really get into like that whole scene and world. And I started asking around. I had some family in the business. And I said, you know, I think I want to maybe give this a shot and check out, you know, the fashion side of movies and everything. And back then, New York was still doing, you know, some movies. I had a couple introductions and interviews. I ended up interviewing with the incredible and insane Oliver Stone.

Wow.

Oh my God. He was amazing, but so terrifying in my interview. And I'll never forget that. I was just sitting there like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. But, you know, it was amazing. His team ended up hiring me. I became, you know, a production assistant for them, you know, coffee, donut girl, whatever you want to call me, you know, running around doing whatever they needed. But I learned so much and I got to really get my hands dirty and see, you know, what that was and what that life was versus what I was doing in corporate. And it was so different. And I loved how it was so exciting and I wasn't behind a screen and a desk in corporate anymore. And I was out in the world and I was running around. Yeah, sure. I was running around at 4 in the morning exhausted, but I was still getting to like live and run and do all these things for all these important people. Then the costume designer on that movie, Ellen Mirojnick, she was amazing. She kind of took me under her wing while I was working as a production assistant and helped me help in costume and had me like running around kind of a little bit like Devil Wears Prada where I would go to like, you know, her apartment and feed her cat and, you know, like go pick up whatever she needed.

Yeah.

And, you know, if she needed something at 10 o'clock at night, it was like, go get it and bring it back to her. But I was just grateful to be able to like Actually, you know, do things like in costume and, you know, and in that world and get to learn. And so, you know, long story short— Well, I just—

everything that you're saying is like— I just shared a message on Instagram today and I said, your hard work puts you where your blessings can find you.

Oh, I love that.

And it really shows from everything you've done is even through the hard times and being the bitch girl or the gopher girl or whatever you want to call it, you were grateful to be in that moment and you were learning from everything. And I think that I'm so glad you're sharing this process because a lot of times it looks so glamorous when you see someone and you see their beautiful pictures, you know, on Instagram or whatever they're posting or, or they're there, you're reading their blog or you're listening to their podcast or whatever it is. It looks easy and you don't see like the years of making that it took to get to—

Blood, sweat, and tears. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And so I'm really glad that you're sharing this because it takes a lot of grit to go after your dreams and that it's a step-by-step process. So whether you're like, you were doing 4 in the morning, doing whatever it took to get there, like you were like all in. So then how long did you work for like on the movie sets and stuff like that?

Yeah, after working with Ellen and kind of really getting experience costume, I, you know, was offered to work on a couple other shows in New York, some movies, some TV shows. And then I was actually asked by some of that same team that was going to Atlanta to work on Big Momma's House. I think it was 2 or 3 with Martin Lawrence. And so I went to Atlanta and started working with them, and we worked on that movie, and it was amazing. And that team that was there actually was from LA, the other side of the team. And that team said, you know, would you want to maybe come out to Los Angeles? It sounds like what you're doing and what you're sharing with us of your experience that you would rather be, you know, fast-tracked lifestyle, you know, doing this, doing that. And that's Los Angeles. Not to say New York's not fast, but when it comes to this industry, it's LA. And I was like, I don't know, you know, I just got back to New York a few years ago. I just kind of started like getting, you know, used to being here. My family's here, you know, and it was just like And I was dating my now husband at the time. And, you know, we— and he was coming to visit me in Atlanta. And I was like, I don't know. I was like, you know, what do you think? And, you know, and he was just so amazing and was like, whatever you want to do, like, you know, I'll go with you. And he followed me and took me, you know, like, you know, out to LA with him. And we started our lives out here. And honestly, he didn't even have a job, you know, and I was just getting into the costume industry, and they were helping me get in the union and work at the costume warehouse. And, you know, all these things again that, you know, I do as steps to get in, you know. So they helped me get into, uh, the, uh, Eastern Costume was a place where you'd work to learn about, you know, costume and work for costume designers and everything. And so I did that and put in my hours and was able to get my, you know, union. And that took like over a year. And, you know, all these things I did to kind of Basically take stepping stones, you know, in the industry.

And pay your dues. You paid your dues.

Right, exactly. And they let me know, like, hey, if you're gonna come with us, like, then you're gonna kind of owe us, you know, this. And so I knew I was gonna be doing the, you know, the Costume Warehouse. I knew I was gonna be working on their shows because they had given me that opportunity, and I was grateful, you know. And so then after quite a bit of time, same thing, I started kind of you know, after doing, you know, a few shows out in LA and everything, I started realizing, you know, maybe costume's not for me. I loved it, but it just didn't feel like what I was really looking for. I still wanted more fast-paced. I still wanted more current and that kind of thing. And I didn't feel like I was getting it from costume. And that's when styling was kind of really becoming hot and stylists were more known. And it was like, oh, there's people that shop for that. Oh, there's people that do this. And I was like, Ooh, I might be good at that, you know. And so after, you know, a couple of years in LA, I started asking around, you know, to help with different stylists. And I started interning all over again and assisting all over again.

When you say stylist, is that like— because I don't know the industry, that side of the industry. When you say stylist, and what you transitioned to, did that— does that mean like you were a stylist for celebrities or for other influencers and say, Yeah, this is what you should wear for that. Oh, because let me tell you, girl, I went from living— because I was a professional dancer, and so I thought—

I saw that.

Dance clothes, and then I lived every day in gym clothes. I didn't own— I remember when I moved in with my husband and he like cleared out the closet for me and I moved my clothes in and he goes, That's all your clothes? That's it? And I'm like, yeah. And so when I became a speaker and then I was asked to do talk shows, I was freaking out. Like, what do I wear? I had no idea what to wear. And I remember calling one of my friends.

It is.

And I remember calling one of my friends and saying, oh my gosh, I'm gonna be on the Today Show and I have no idea what I'm gonna wear. She goes, oh, well, you should wear some cowboy boots And a cowboy hat. And I was like, no, just because I'm from Texas doesn't mean that I walk around in a cowboy hat all day. Like, I do have a cowboy hat, but I'm not going to wear it to interview with Megyn Kelly.

Totally.

Like, and there's just this whole thought of how, you know, people, like it or not, people judge you right away on what you look like and whether they're going to— I mean, I got judged On The Doctors for— I had a lot of people upset with me about the shoes I was wearing, saying, how can you have CRPS and wear those shoes? Like, it's— there's a lot of thought that goes into what you're gonna wear. And I don't know if you know who Toy Sweeney is, but she was on my show and she's also a stylist. I love her. And she talks about just the power of what you wear and how it can affect your mood. And so—

Absolutely. Oh, I tell people all the time, you know, that's one of my favorite parts of my job is transforming from the inside out. You know, it's— yes, it's so important, of course, presentation-wise. And, you know, unfortunately people do judge. But really, for me, like with styling, and whether it be a celebrity or a personal client, it's like if I make them feel good and I can help transform them from the inside out, that's to me like the big moment, you know? Because then all of a sudden their confidence changes. I always say confidence is your best accessory, you know? And that's what I fell in love with, was styling. You know, once I left costumes And I started interning. I worked for— back when Monica Rose was doing, you know, the Kardashians, I interned, you know, with their team. And I worked for Kanye West's stylist, Rana Lupador, for quite some time. And, you know, Emma Romer's stylist, Jessica Chastain, and all these different people. I started, you know, getting my own roots in styling and started, you know, making, you know, networking and making relationships and finding, you know, different showrooms and how it worked and understanding it. And I fell in love with it. I was like, wow, these hours are crazy, but like I'm thriving and I'm loving everything I'm doing and the people and how I'm making them feel and all these things, even though I was only an assistant at that point. And once I started getting asked to style all these different D-listers in Hollywood that just didn't— nobody knew who they were. But of course, as you know, things can change overnight. And so I had celebrities all of a sudden becoming actual celebrities and, oh, they got this show. Oh, they booked this press junket. And all of a sudden I was getting them ready for big events. And before I knew it, I had a bunch of people that were getting best dressed with my name attached Wow. And it was like surreal, you know? It was like, oh my gosh, wait, they got best dressed in this magazine? Or, you know, Vogue Italia said what about my style? You know, it was like, it was just—

Well, that's just what's so crazy too about like, you know, I was like a new author, never been on like a talk show. And yeah, it was so wild to me. And by the way, I just went to Nordstrom's and picked out an outfit. I wish I had known you back then.

Yeah, I knew you'd pick—

everyone loves Nordstrom's.

Nothing wrong with Nordstrom's.

I wish I had known you back then, like, to help me out. But I basically, like, I had a week to figure out what I was gonna wear, and that was in between trying to market the book. And what was so surprising to me, and it reminds me when you said that all of a sudden, like, people were getting best dressed and my name was attached to it. After I appeared on the Today Show, I realized how important it was. Like, I wore a name brand. I wore Vince.

Yeah.

It was expensive, let me tell you that.

Oh yeah, Vince, yeah.

But I started seeing other stylists were screenshotting and sharing Amberly Lago and Vince and Nordstrom's Amberly Lago. And I was like, that is so weird. And it was the first time I ever realized, wow, your style really does matter. Like, people are looking at that.

Yes. And I love that you shared that because, you know, for me, like, you know, again, whether it be a celebrity or be, you know, everyday person, when I'm working with them, I always ask them like, what is the message, you know, that you're trying to send? Or in a celebrity's case or, you know, expert's case, what is your brand? You know, like what— like that's what's important. And that's where I think for me as a stylist, I feel like I stand out in that sense. And I've always done that sense because I don't just say, hey, this is hot, you need to wear this.

Mm-hmm.

For me, it's more than that. Yes, of course, I want you to, you know, feel great. I want you to look fabulous, all those things. But if you are not feeling it and it's not you, then I'm not doing you any favors because then you're not going to wear it the way you should. You're not going to feel comfortable about it. And I noticed that with other stylists sometimes I would work with, like, as amazing as they were, to them it was more about their art. And I get that for certain events, like, it is all about, like, the art and the creation. But on an everyday basis where they're using you for all different events and things, even like a red carpet, and they want to show up as themselves and not maybe a persona or a character, it's like, what is your brand? You know? And this was like the fights sometimes I would have in these sitting down agency offices and management offices. is with their teams going like, listen, I get it. You're showing me this mood board. I know what you're saying. But like, what's the brand? Like, give me 3 words that describes this person and what you're trying to come across. And they'd be like, oh, just find the outfit. And I'm like, I can do that. I can find outfits all day long. But like, I want to make sure that I'm going to give you what it is that like Amberly Lago wants to present to the world. What is it that describes her style? And so I felt like for me, that was the biggest high in styling when I would reach that. And people would say like, oh my God, like, perfect example, a high Robinson Peete. I, you know, I worked with her for quite a few years, and I'll never forget when she went to the BET Awards. Everyone was giving me, you know, such a hard time with what I had picked for, you know, her outfit. She didn't usually wear a jumpsuit, all these things. And she ended up getting best dressed everywhere. And not only that, she landed like 4 new roles on like new movies and TV shows. And they said like, never looked better, didn't know she was 50. You know, it's like those kinds of things can make or break a situation and she didn't even expect for it to even land her some new projects, you know, and it was like because we transformed her look and her style and who she was and we didn't go crazy but we just made some tweaks and figured out where is she now, you know, she's a mom, she's, you know, a badass, she's an entrepreneur, she's all these things, you know, not just an actress of and the husband, you know, wife of, it was like plus, plus, plus, how do you create that? All of a sudden it just transformed everything and I'll just never forget when, you know, after she went to the BET Awards everybody was like Talking about this peach, you know, number that she wore, this jumpsuit that was like, for her, I mean, massively changing, you know, in her career and where she was landing jobs and what she was doing. And that was just one example for me. And so I always think about that. So I love that you said that because I think a lot of times people don't realize the benefit of a stylist. And maybe—

Yeah, and I mean, as you can see, I'm not big with name brands. I'm like, Vince Vaughn?

No, not the actor. Yeah, but it didn't have to be name brands.

Yeah, it was how it made me feel. It was like I wanted how it made me feel. And also, it's not just the moment that you do that talk show, it's how you leverage it afterwards. So an interview, how you're gonna leverage that. And so if I wore a cowboy hat and cowboy boots, and, you know, I love my friend that told me, wear your cowboy hat.

Of course, because she wanted you to be you.

Yeah, yeah. But it's like, It's like, I may not have landed a spot on The Doctors or Hallmark had they seen that interview and go, oh gosh, that girl is like a cowgirl. Not sure we want a cowgirl. Like, you know? So it really, it really is important. And I love that you look at the person and how it makes them feel. And you can really be like a catalyst in someone's career and take them from one place to another. Absolutely.

And, you know, I've had people like even I've done remote consultations for, you know, on certain apps that I work with. Like I work with one amazing app called Style Life and we have a website and everything. And, and, you know, one of their main stylists and I had a woman a few months ago who she was so like broken down and so nervous because of everything that's going on with changes with the pandemic and asked, you know, for me to, you know, help dress her for an interview that she had on Zoom. And I, you know, had to help her with her confidence level and everything with what she was wearing. And she was, you know, nervous even though she was home. She's like, I'm used to doing interviews in person. I don't even know how to put myself together and this and that. And, you know, and so I walked her through like, you know, what she wanted to present, you know, on this conference and what it was. And, you know, she wrote me, you know, a week later and was like, I got the job and I'm so beyond happy. And I felt so good sitting, you know, in my living room. And it's like stories like that, like, light me up. Like, you know, it's like, that's where I'm like, okay, I, I, this is why I love fashion. Don't get me wrong. I love the glitz and glam, and, you know, I loved, especially before I was a mom, you know, the red carpet and all that lifestyle. But for me, like, the heart of styling, like, the feeling, no matter who it was I was styling, when someone appreciated what I was doing with them and how they felt and, like, really felt that, like, confidence is your best accessory and rocked it and then continued to rock that in their life and it transformed things for them, that to me is like a game changer. You know, it was like, this, this is why I love what I do and why I try now to really work with so many different personal clients. And, you know, even just via Zoom and, you know, remote. I mean, it's just, it's such a good feeling to be able to be a part of that transformation.

Yeah, that's beautiful. And I think because you have such a big why and a purpose, it doesn't even probably feel like work. I was just talking to a girlfriend of mine yesterday on the phone. And I said, yeah, you know, when you're really doing what you love, and it just, things kind of fall into place and you're working really hard, but the right things come along and it just feels like it's a good fit and things just feel good. That's how I know I'm on the right path versus when I feel like it's such a struggle and I'm in quicksand.

Yeah.

That's when I know I got to take a look at this and am I really forcing something? Should it be this hard? And then always circle back to my why, why I'm doing it. Yeah.

I love that message. And I think that's great. And I love that you said that because that's kind of honestly where I got to, you know, when I was, you know, getting pregnant with my first daughter, Amelia. I started like not loving the full styling of celebrities anymore. It was like something switched for me. And I, and, you know, it was— I think my perspective was changing. I realized that I should be, you know, resting more. I realized that I should be home more, not out all night, you know, all these things because I was, you know, pregnant, I was carrying life, you know. And it, it was really hard for me at first to be like, like, okay, I just won't, you know, go to this event, or okay, I won't stay till 10 o'clock tonight. And it was a weird transition for me, but I really started to feel like, you know what, I have to start like doing me. And I felt like this guilt because I had always done everyone else and I'd always taken care of all my clients.

Yeah.

And I had some get mad at me, you know. I had some that were, you know, angry that I wasn't available as much and I was sending an assistant and, you know, all these things.

And I still made sure they had amazing outfits, but they wanted me You know, I mean, I went through that transition and I had clients that were really mad at me, like really mad, like scary, like cussing me out mad.

And then like— I had one of my clients flipping out while I was giving birth mad, like literally like emailing, calling while I was in labor mad.

Oh yeah, yeah, I hear you. And I remember when I had to do that transition where, you know, after my motorcycle accident and And I thought, who's gonna wanna work with me? I'm like broken now. I can't do the things I used to do. I mean, I used to teach people how to pace themselves for running and now I'm on crutches. And my business boomed. My clientele, I think because they were like, well, if she can do it and push herself like that in a wheelchair in the gym and then get on crutches, then I gave that, they're like, I wanna do it too.

Yeah, inspiration.

But then I had to like really transition 'Cause it was really killing me to be on my feet for that long all day. And I remember one time I was at the gym and my husband came over to me. He was so pissed and he was like, get off the gym floor. You're bleeding out across the gym floor. Like I had had surgery like the week before and—

Wow.

It was bleeding and I was still training clients. And I remember that decision where I had to cut back. And I told one client, she was like, well, what am I gonna do? Who's gonna be my therapist?

What?

And I was like, oh girl, Well, that's scary if you think I'm your therapist because I'm pretty crazy myself.

Yeah, I know. Trust me, I had that with so many clients where I was like, that's how they felt with me too. I think when you're doing stuff like that, you know, training and styling, and you're like really in it with them and you're sharing so much, they do feel like that. They feel like they can unload so much on you and depend on you in so many ways, and not just in the way that you're doing a service. It's so much more.

It is. It's so much more.

Yeah. And I didn't realize it. And then it was like when I had to pull back and do my own self-care to get ready to, you know, for this new life, it was like, oh my God. And it was, it was really hard because I had to let go of some relationships and I had to say goodbye to some clients because they just didn't get it. You know, some were cool and transitioned with me, but others were not, you know? And it, but it, but it transitioned me into allowing myself to open myself up to more than just styling and becoming, like you said, a mompreneur and being able to, you know, do other things like, you know, the influencer I hate that word influencer, but I feel like that, you know. I know, I know.

I'm like, I don't want to be an influencer, I want to make an impact. But I guess you can be an influencer and make an impact. But yeah, I never really thought of myself as like an influencer.

I didn't— same. When someone called me that, I'm like, oh yeah, okay, you know. But I love that you said it's true. It's like you want to make an impact, you want to be of influence, right? You want to to like help people, you know, with what you're sharing. And if maybe something you share helps them make a decision on something and you really truly authentically love it, then great, you know? And that's kind of like the space I've been in. And so when I became a mom, I was just kind of really lucky that I started having all these brands reach out to me that saw I was sharing my motherhood struggle and my ups and downs, you know, wholeheartedly. And were like, hey, would you want to try this food? Or hey, would you want to use this for your daughter? And, you know, I would just share candidly what I actually really liked and what was working in my life. And that's kind of how I fell into that. But it was something I never, you know, for me, when now I obviously my Instagram has changed, but if you looked at my Instagram a few years ago, it was all of my clients, you know what I mean? Personal, celebrity, experts. And it was me like once every other week, you know what I mean? I was never in the grid. It was just my clients, my styling, my tips, you know, that was it. And it's just so crazy now when I look at, you know, my feed now, it's like all me, all family, you know, all this, all that. And I laugh, but it's like that.

Now, and now you leave that up there, right?

Yeah.

See, I love that you leave that up there. I leave my Instagram posts from the very beginning where I first got on Instagram and I had no idea what I was doing. I still don't really.

Oh, guilty. I know. No filters, no presets, no this, no that. I know. I mean, I'm like, okay.

But I leave those posts up there because some of them are really bad because I now coach people how to write books and become a speaker. And even as scary as this, Never a million years would have thought this, but how to kind of brand themselves. And I'm not— I didn't go to school for that. I love that. But I teach them how to share their story because they're like, I don't know how. And I said, look, we all have to just practice. If you look on my Instagram from the very beginning until now, it has changed drastically. And I know that some people delete all their beginning posts and it just looks like they started off Right. You know, a million people liking their posts. And I'm like, no, I started off with if I got, you know, if I reached the double digits in people liking my posts, like, oh my God, I got 11 people that saw that today. And totally, no, it's like I leave that so people can see that it takes time to build your brand and your platform and to share your story. And you just have to keep doing it every day. And I love that you're on the grid more and you're sweet And how old are your girls? The youngest is 3 months?

3 months old is Arlie, and then Amelia is like 2 years and a couple months.

Wow.

Wow.

Okay, well, you talked about— I'd actually written down to ask you about guilt because I know there's a lot of guilt, I think, that comes along with being a mom for some reason. I feel guilty when I'm working a lot and because I love what I do, and so I could literally be working nonstop and just love every minute of it. But I went for a walk with my daughter the other day and I was like, well, I've got the outline done, I'm ready to start my second book. And she like got teary-eyed and was like, Aww. No, Mom, you get so busy. And so it's like I have that guilt when it's like, you, you know, I've got the dog that follows me around and the dog needs attention. My husband I want to spend time with him. He needs attention. I want quality time with my kids. And it's like, do you have that mom guilt ever? And if so, how do you alleviate that?

Yeah, I think any mom has mom guilt, even if they maybe don't recognize it. They find it, you know, you find it in one way or another. Some feel it in guilt, some feel it in shame, some feel it both ways. You know, I feel Like, for me, I definitely feel it. Like, even like this morning getting on a podcast, you know, like, it's like, oh, I could be, you know, laying in bed and, you know, relaxing and soaking up the moments. But this was really important to me. And I really wanted, you know, to be on and, you know, wanted to, you know, be on your show. And I told my husband, like, hey, you know, you know, since you're not working today, can you have the girls for a little bit so I could be on and do this and do that? And, you know, and it is hard, especially them being so little. I feel like I'm constantly missing little moments, you know, when I'm not present. And I think for me, to be honest, you know, thank you for asking that question. I think for me, with Amelia especially as a new mom, when the guilt settled in for me, it was like almost like debilitating at first. And I think it also played into my postpartum depression because I, you know, I go to set, you know, and in my mind before I had Amelia, I was gonna like pop her out And get right back to set and start styling. And first off, I had an unexpected C-section, pretty traumatic birth, and things just did not go the way I thought they were gonna go. And so it was kind of like, you know, I was, you know, kind of bedridden for quite a, you know, a few weeks. Um, and then I wasn't driving for weeks, and it was just like this constant, like, mountain that I was just not, you know, getting over.

Okay, thank you for saying that about the C-section too, because I had have a cesarean with my second child. And yeah, and I cried when I found out she was breech too, and I cried. And I always wondered, why do some women opt to have a cesarean? Because it is like brutal recovering from that. And I too had— It is major. And I don't think my husband even realized how major it was until So he was in the operating room and he saw them like literally—

Same with my husband.

Inside out.

Take your organs out. Yeah, well, because the thing is, is our society, right, has normalized a C-section. And not that it's not, you know, a great thing to have that option. God forbid you need to have a baby that way. But I agree with you. It's like, and I know some women are gonna be like, oh my gosh, well, I wanted to have a C-section. That's fine. That's up to you. But you're right. It's like there's a reason why our bodies, you know, naturally are supposed to have a baby vaginally and C-section is there, God forbid that can't happen or it's needed or there's some kind of risk. But I agree with you. And I think because society has normalized a C-section, like, oh, it's no big deal, you just take the baby out. It's like, no, it is major surgery.

It is major. And I was just talking to this with one of my best friends yesterday. And she goes, she's about to have her baby any day. And she's like, anything I should know, like about, you know, and I'm like, I just want to say, I didn't know this when, you know, being a mom, a new mom, I said I had postpartum depression. I said, you know, and especially with my second one because it was a C-section and I couldn't exercise. I tried it about 3 weeks and my stomach— I tried to go for a run and my stomach literally blew up like a balloon.

Oh no.

I started bleeding again. And, and I said, so if you start feeling sad or you, you know, that a lot of moms go through that. I said, I didn't really know that and I was surprised And I was really hard on myself because—

We shame ourselves, right?

I shamed myself. And then, you know, I went to a psychiatrist after my husband was like, you need help. I went to a shrink and I'm like, I'm just depressed. I'm anxious. I'm like, you know, thinking, I don't know. I was not myself. I said, I know if I can just work out again, I'll feel okay. And she goes, Well, you're crazy if you have to work out to feel good. I need to put you on an antidepressant. And I was just like, oh my gosh, she just told me I'm crazy.

I'm crazy. Yeah.

Like, like crazy. And I did feel crazy, but to have someone call you that. And so—

Terrible.

Yeah. And you know, it's such a big deal with your hormones and then the lifestyle change right away. So much. Yeah. So I appreciate you sharing that, and I wish I had known that as, you know, a mom, because back when I had—

That's why I share it, because I never in a million years expected to have postpartum depression. I really didn't even know much about it, you know what I mean? I really didn't even— for me, I'm a pretty happy-going, you know, person, and I never thought like I would be depressed, especially after having my first daughter, you know? And it was just Like from the traumatic birth to the birth not going the way I wanted it to, from being transferred from, you know, a water birth that was supposed to be fully natural to transferred to a hospital 30 hours in to end up in a C-section 42 hours later on full-blown meds. It was just like, you know, and I realized some people are like, oh my God, but thank God you're fine. Baby's fine. I'm like, I get that. But it wasn't what I thought was going to be. And it wasn't in my mind, my plan. And I think I got so like just married to that plan of what was gonna happen and how I was gonna control things. Newsflash, you can't control things. And I think it prepared me for motherhood, you know, in that sense. It was like, you know, like, listen, motherhood, you cannot plan, you cannot control. It's like surrender. But I wasn't ready to surrender. And I fought that like tooth and nail, you know. And when it came to the C-section, same thing. I wanted, you know, to get back on set. I wanted to do this, I wanted to do that. And as soon as I could, I did. And then I was like depressed. I was on set and was like, I don't like how I look, I don't like how I feel, you know, and I don't like that I'm now missing that Amelia's home with my mom and I'm not seeing this. And yeah, okay, I'm grateful that I have help, but like now I'm missing what she's doing. And I was so torn and the mom guilt was so heavy because there was a guilt of I was missing things with Amelia and then there was a guilt of I don't like how I feel, I don't like how I look, I'm not the same same Allie anymore. And like, ew, like, how could I even style people now and do this job because I'm not the same person I was who could maintain this glam every day and could look fabulous and do this and do that. So for me, I feel like it was this double guilt, like, of like Allie guilt and mom guilt. And I couldn't get myself out of one or the other. It was just like, you know, and then the postpartum depression started getting, you know, heavier. And, um, when I was home, you know, I decided to be home more with Amelia and be on set as much. And it was just like, I felt like I was losing myself all at once. It was just like, I didn't know how to get back to who I was and how to find myself again.

Well, I think a lot of moms feel like that, like they lose themselves. And what— and it's easy to do because you get so busy with, you know, just trying to make sure they're fed, trying to make sure there's food on the table, going to work, and then And I still do this some days where I'm like, okay, you know, everybody's fed, the house is clean, I've got some things done for work, and I look like hell and feel like hell because I haven't even taken time to drink water, eat like the basics.

Yeah.

Yes. Like, I gotta get back to the basics and put myself on the to-do list because Yes. Really, we can't be of service to— and sometimes that's what I have to tell myself. How can I be of service to my clients? How can I be, you know, how can I be a good mom or a good wife if I am not taking care of my health and myself? And I have to look at it that way before I can move forward. What did you do to start to really get grounded in who you were again and really move forward?

Yeah, well, to be honest, um, I didn't, you know, know I was spiraling out of control. Um, I didn't know that things were getting darker. I just kind of felt like, oh, I'm just, you know, I'm just figuring it out. I'm a new mom, I'm just going with the flow. And my husband said to me, you know, one night he was just like, things just aren't, you know, things aren't right. And, you know, you don't seem right and this and that. And, um, that was my podcast was born out of my first episode that I, you know, recorded. I reiterated what I had said to to him, which was, I feel like I'm mourning the death of me. And I said it out loud and I didn't really think much of it. That was just how I felt. That's powerful though. But for him and everyone around me that heard that, yeah, it was like, oh, okay, that's maybe not the best thing to feel. And so after a little bit of time, I started speaking to a therapist and I saw a postpartum specialist and they diagnosed me and said, you have pretty heavy postpartum depression. What do you want to do? Of course, my doctor that had delivered Amelia had said that they could put me on meds and this and that. And I am just not a medical kind of person. I get it. It exists for a reason and it's a godsend, but I like to do things naturally when I can. Clearly, I tried to do that with my daughter with her birth. So I was like, I really don't want to get on medication. I really want to try to find other ways. And thank God, I think especially being out here in California, there are so many more holistic solutions and people are open to And so between doing, you know, the therapy and my postpartum specialist was like, okay, we're going to do visualizations and we're going to do cognitive therapy and we're going to do meditations and all these things. That's really honestly what started to put me back together. I kind of had to like fall apart to find myself again and realize that like it was okay that I no longer felt like myself. because I really wasn't the woman or the girl I was before I had my daughter. You know, motherhood really changes you so much. I mean, no matter how you give birth, you know, you literally survive a car accident of your body and you're put back together and then, you know, your baby's there. And it's like, it's a beautiful, amazing blessing. But we go through like a lot, you know, when it comes to the pregnancy, to the delivery, to all of it.

Mm-hmm.

And I think a lot of people don't share that and don't talk about that. But it's like, for me, I was so overwhelmed by the experience, by everything what happened and how felt so changed that once I finally started putting myself back together and really, you know, finding meditation and, you know, doing visualizations and all different things— I also, um, did a little bit of a CBD, um, help with like oils and different supplements and tinctures. And, you know, I know some people that— that's kind of like some people believe in it, some people don't. For me, it was very helpful when I would feel anxiety or feel a little bit of depression. I would I would put the tincture and it would help take me down and I felt comfortable and my midwife and doctors all said it was fine as long as it was in moderation with breastfeeding. So I felt comfortable doing it instead of taking a drug medication. And I think all those things combined and just allowing myself that time to heal and process and not rush everything, whereas I think my whole life I've been on this kind of like autopilot. What's next? What's next? What's next? What's next going on? So I didn't know how to slow. I didn't know how to allow myself to just be a new mom and kind of succumb to that and surrender and say, okay, this is now a new way of life and it'll feel weird, but eventually you'll, you know, you'll figure it out. And I just wanted things to just go back and I just wanted to, you know, fast forward and quick, quick, quick. And once I finally like released all that, by the time I remember Amelia was about a year That's when I started seeing light at the end of the tunnel. That's when I started really starting to feel like myself again. And I thought, wow, I feel like transformed. Like I feel stronger than ever. I feel, you know, more like myself, but a different version of myself. I feel more empowered. I feel like even though I was so heavy and broken, now I kind of see things that maybe I wasn't dealing with, like we were talking about before.

Mm-hmm.

Like, you know, I would always take care of my clients but not take care of me. And now I was like, it was a— I loved it as my job, but I didn't realize that I actually wasn't doing a service to myself. You know, I started discovering all these things about myself that I hadn't really dealt with.

And— Well, I think everybody's going through that right now. We were talking about this before we actually pressed record about what's going on in the world right now. And I think, you know, in California, we are still pretty locked down here.

Yes, we are.

Very, very locked down, actually. I mean, I got the homeschool going on.

We've got, you know, things still— Pivoted and transitioned and is, you know, we're on Zoom and virtual. I mean, yeah.

Yeah, because I was doing all of my recordings in person and I'm like, okay, well, this is, this is the new way that we're gonna record the sessions is through Zoom. But I love how you say you had to like fall apart and feel broken before you could put yourself back together. But then you didn't just Just sit there and not do anything about it. You did cognitive therapy. You took a look at what was going on and what wasn't working. You did therapy. You did— and that's the thing that I think we have to be our own advocate because I didn't feel like medication was the right thing for me either.

Yeah.

I did try to take it and I would throw up. up every single time I took it. And they kept saying, well, it's gonna take a little while, give it 30 days. And I'm like, so you want me to throw up for 30 days while I'm getting even more—

And that's like your own, like, body and intuition saying—

Saying no, it's not working. So I had to try different things too. And, and I think that that's powerful that you, you had to take a look at what was going on. And I think if we don't—

It was hard, let me tell you. Like, as you know, it's hard. to do the work. You sit there and you literally— they want you to like sit in your own shit. You're like, who wants to do that? You know?

Yeah.

And you're just sitting there and you're like, oh my gosh, there's so much I have to deal with. There's so much I have to work through. And it seems like you'll never get through it, but it's like, but you, you have to do the work because if you just— if you don't do the work, you're just gonna stay where you are. And for me, I couldn't stay where I was because I not only wasn't thriving for myself, but I wasn't I wasn't enjoying anything. I wasn't getting to enjoy the actual being a new mom. I loved Amelia and I loved the bonding. And I remember I would love playing with her, but the minute I would put her down for a nap, I would go cry in a corner for an hour while she'd be sleeping. And I couldn't enjoy anything about me. I looked in the mirror and I would talk horrible to myself. I couldn't look forward to even just getting ready because I didn't like how I felt. It was just everything on top of everything. And it was like, you can't live life this way.

Well, how did you— I think we all have that voice, that inner critic, that mine goes and just has a party up there. And I have to like consciously do things to stop that inner critic or, or the, you know, or the imposter syndrome. What are some of the things that you have done when you had that, those, you know, self-limiting beliefs or just that negative self-talk? What were some of the things that you did to change that?

I think one, meditation has been a game changer in my life. I laugh because years ago I was told I should meditate when I first was styling, and I look at people and be like, what are you, crazy? I don't have time to meditate. Like, maybe like, it's a few minutes. And I'd be like, no, no, I got to focus on this with fashion. I gotta do that, you know. And it was like I couldn't comprehend slowing down to meditate, but I didn't realize how much goodness and how much beauty is in that stillness. And it's not just about the meditation, but it's about like how you actually connect to yourself, to soul, to spirit, to who you are, the essence of who we all are. And for me, I was able to really find that once I allowed myself those few minutes and started, you know, of course I started with apps because I couldn't do it on my own. And now I can do it on my own, you know, but it was like I needed to listen to someone to guide me to say, connect to your breath, take a minute, you know? And it was like, even just connecting to my breath and doing breathwork, I had no idea how powerful just taking a breath sounds so crazy. We all breathe, right? But like actually breathing and actually like, and like feeling that connection and feeling that breath and like realizing that like when you take a few more, you actually get deeper and get more into yourself and into your body, into your feelings and everything. Everything and get out of your head and what you're saying in your mind and all the thoughts and everything, and you just connect to you, you're able to see more clearly, you know. And then I would start to journal, like journal out, you know, like, okay, this is what's bothering me and this is what I'm feeling today, or this is what I was telling myself in the mirror, or this is this, or this is that, and just getting it out, you know. And whether it be speaking it out or journaling it out, whatever it was, just shedding it for myself and being like, that's not what I want to hold, you know, and like, what do I want to bring in? And then, you know, writing down and reading positive affirmations and listening to meditations that gave me that positivity and gave me that empowerment and reinforcement to be like, keep going and keep doing the work and keep doing this, keep doing that. That was honestly like the start for me for it all, because I feel like I wouldn't have been able to then like really sit down like you said and be mindful and be like, oh, that's not my thought. Don't think about that. No, replace it with with this. I don't think I would have ever been able to get there if I hadn't have started with just the basics of what breathwork and meditation and journaling was and like visualization of like, what do you want to visualize as like, you know, your day today? Or what do you want to visualize to happen at the end of this week? And just like little things, just as like, you know, like little goals and little mindsets of just, you know, that you could achieve, you know, even if it was just like as small as like, I want to get up and do my makeup today and like actually somewhat feel like myself. It sounds so silly when you say it out loud, but what you were saying about the self-care and the whole thing of getting ready and putting yourself together, it's like, it's not necessarily about the glam. It's about the fact that you're loving on yourself. It's that self-love. It's not just self-care. It's really self-love. It's allowing yourself to feel good and to do things for yourself. And yes, we all have guilt. And yes, as moms, It's like the heaviest guilt because you're like, oh, I need to be, you know, with this one. Now that I have 2, it's like I'm like, oh, well, she needs this and then she needs this. And then how am I going to do this? And I'd like to spend time with Justin. I'd like to do that, you know, and it's— and I got to work on my job and blah, blah, blah, all the things. But you have to like— I've had so many moments, especially now in quarantine, where I've had to sit with myself and say, you know what, you did all those things. And yeah, maybe you have a bunch more on your to-do list, but like right now you're feeling pretty heavy. And pretty like exhausted and you need to take 5 minutes. That's all you're gonna get today and like relax. And sometimes that means get in the shower. Sometimes that means do my face. Sometimes that means literally just lay on the couch for 5 minutes and, you know, veg out and have a snack. Sometimes that means meditation. You know, I, it's, I think it's a matter of like what uplifts you, what makes you feel good, you know, like what really sparks you and that light inside of you that makes you feel like you're build back up again, even if it's not fully, a little something till you can really fill up your cup. You know, I used to laugh when people would say, oh, you know, you can't pour from empty cups, especially as a mom. But yeah, okay, okay. Because I was again so used to being on autopilot and thought to myself, oh, it's fine, I can do it all, no big deal, you know, and run around. And I did in the beginning, but I exhausted myself for it. And I really, I did myself a disfavor. Like I remember with Amelia, I ran to a red carpet. I was like, I think she was like maybe 2 or 3 months old. And everybody was like, you're crazy. Why are you going to a red carpet and you're taking her and like you're barely even healed and you're, you know, you're gonna go walk this red carpet and you're gonna go style this client and you're bringing her. And it's like, I'm fine, fine, fine. It's fine. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. And I did. And my client was thrilled. And, you know, I looked great for the moment, whatever. But I broke down, you know, afterwards. And I didn't realize how much—

Because your body is still healing too after cesarean. And I did this— Yeah, and so is your mind.

Your body and your mind, and it's interconnected.

I did the same thing. I did the same thing. And I was like, oh no, I am gonna fit in that dress and I'm gonna go. Not the red carpet, but another event.

Yes.

And in fact, everything that you're describing is, you know, I teach something called the PACER method and it stands for perspective, acceptance, community, endurance, And the last part is rest. I love that. And I kept wanting to call it the pace, like you're gonna pace through, you're gonna— and I had to learn over and over, no, it's PACER, because I would not rest and I would end up in the ER. And I remember thinking before to myself, how did somebody end up in the ER for exhaustion or whatever? Well, I would end up in the ER and finally, and I'm embarrassed, I'm embarrassed to say, but this was just last year. I went to the ER. I had another infection. I'm prone to infections in my leg because of the accident. And I went in and it was like the 7th time I had been in the ER. I was traveling a lot. And they said, you know what? This is the 7th infection that you've had. You need to go to a doctor. You really need to take care of yourself. And it was Wow. Yeah. Okay, the R is now something I have to focus on, on the PACER method. Like, it's recovery. It's like, get like all the things that you said.

It's rest. And you have to allow that, right? Like, you have to allow that rest. And I love that you said that. And that's a beautiful, you know, acronym message because it's like, we just all, I think, expect no matter whether you're a mom or not, just do and do and do and go and go and go. And our society has kind of set us up that way. And I think it's interesting with now being, you know, quarantined, how we all were in the pandemic, that it was kind of like, as much as it was very frustrating, very heavy for so many of us, and I understand, you know, for some really, you know, traumatic and tragedies, but at the same time, I feel like there was such a gift in that time because we all learned like the art of stillness. I mean, we all learned like how to connect back to, you know, family and friends and things that are real. Really important that maybe we had forgotten because we are all on autopilot so much, and we live on social media and on you know our phones, on our devices, and all these things. Myself included, completely guilty. And it forced us to be like, "No, you're in the present," and like you can't change anything. Like you are in lockdown. This is what this is. And we were all just kind of having to learn how to like relive in this new time, and I feel. like, you know, that stillness and that rest that you talked about. Like, none of us give ourselves, especially moms, give ourselves that time to rest.

Right.

And the quarantine kind of like, even though of course I know so many of us are doing a million things, but it was like a new kind of rest. Like, your mind got to rest differently, you know, and you got to do things differently and enjoy family and just things that like we, we never would have had. And in a sense, to me, I feel like 2020 was kind of a gift because, you know, we'll never have this time again. You know, the world's not going to be slow forever, you know?

Mm-hmm.

And it's like, this is just a period in time that we're all dealing with. And as hard as it is and the homeschooling and all these things that we're all going through and husbands at home working, it's like, I look at that and I'm like, but we would never have had this. I wouldn't have him here to transition to being a mom of 2, you know? And thank God, you know, I've had no postpartum depression and no baby blues and no, you know, and I think a huge part of that is because I was able to rest and recover, you know, with my second and have him and, you know, have this new experience as a mom of 2 and all these things. And I think, you know, I think about allowing myself to like actually rest, like whereas Amelia, I jumped right back in and I was, you know, styling and I was on social media. With Arlie, I signed off on my social for 3 weeks. You know, people were like, oh my gosh, she hasn't been on. But I gave myself that permission to be—

That's good. That is so wonderful.

But it was hard for me. It was hard. You know, it was hard to say. Oh, what if I miss a brand? Or what if I miss this project? And I did, you know, I signed back on. I had messages from people, hey, I'm trying to get in touch with you. And I had to just go and let it go and say, you know what, it's okay, other opportunities will come. This was my time to be as a new mom with my new family and to learn and to adjust and to rest. And I think we all need to like really listen to that inner, like you were saying, of like, if you really like have someone say to you like, 7 infections, maybe you should, you know, let your body rest and heal. Sometimes it takes the universe to tell us like, hey, you paying attention? Like, next thing's not gonna be so great, you know?

Mm-hmm.

And I think that we all have to sometimes look at ourselves and say, how do I rest? How do I let myself rest? And I think I do that now with myself. Like last night, perfect example, I wanted to work. My girls were sleeping, my husband My husband was, you know, doing his thing, playing games. I wanted to work. I had a bunch of things I needed to do, and I was just like tired. And I was like, you know what, I'm gonna veg out on the couch and watch my show on Netflix that I haven't been able to watch and just do that for the next 2 hours. And I just laid there and did that and did nothing, you know. And it felt so good to be able to just kind of give back to me, as silly as it is, but just sit there, you know, with it, with tea and watching a show and just totally be mindful.

Yeah.

Mindless and just enjoy. Something simple as that sometimes can be rest. You know, it doesn't have to always look like meditation or, you know, yoga for an hour or all these things I feel like sometimes people feel are unattainable. Like I've had people say to me like, oh, I can't get 2 minutes to meditate. I'm like, well, that's you not allowing yourself that time. Everyone has 2 minutes somewhere in their day. Like you just do. You have to carve it out, but you do. So it's like—

Well, I think what's important to you, you'll find time to do it. And what's not important, you'll find an excuse.

Yes.

And I know for me, I really need time alone just to have like to do writing, just to read out, to read.

Kind of connect to like you and be able to get into your state.

Yes, to do a short meditation, to write out what I'm grateful for. I need that morning routine. And so even though, you know, we're recording, it's Labor Day, I was up at 5 o'clock I got up at 5 o'clock this morning so I could have that quiet time. And then I was working out by 6:30 because I knew I had an appointment at 8 and then I was going to see. So I found the time, like I made sure I went to bed a little earlier last night so I got enough sleep. And I think that's important. What's important—

Sleep is so important. Yeah.

Sleep, you know, rest, moving your body because that moves your mind. And I say that a lot and I'm sure people would get sick of me saying move your body.

I need to hear it because I'm like in that space of where, you know, I'm clear now to, you know, like start to work out and start to— and it's like I'm not someone who really works out. I've always tried to like get into that, but it's just, it's not something I've ever enjoyed. I've been trying to find more joy in it and find more of that space of like, I want to do this besides to be healthy, but to like actually enjoy it. I just haven't really found that yet, you know? So I appreciate you saying that because it's true. Like, you really do. And so I've been doing walks with my family, with my My daughter loves and asks to go on walks, you know, all the time. So like—

Well, see, there you go. That's moving your body. And that's a way— and I do that with my daughter. Well, we go on scooter rides. I've wiped out pretty hard. She's like, wants to race me all the time. And it gets me out of the house. It gets me kind of in, you know, just in play. I think it's important to find time for play and find time for fun so we can spark our creativity and not just be all about the hustle and the grind. And I love that you took time to allow yourself to just have some moments to watch Netflix or, you know, I think that's so important. And so, you know, if anybody listening today gets one thing out of this podcast, rest, because resting is recovering. And I think we need to really make it more of a necessity instead of a luxury. It should really be—

Yes, you're right. And think about it too, right? It's like even when you, you know, you could be as creative as all can be, but all of us feel guilty, you know, at like all different times. But it's like you have to also say to yourself, you know what, like I won't be able to keep creating if I don't rest. If I, you know, if I don't allow myself that downtime, you know, to re-put into myself and to, you know, rehabilitate everything going on with myself, then I'm not going to continue to outpour to everyone else and be able to also think about what I want to talk about Like you burn out, right? Like we've all burned out before, and it's a terrible feeling. But like we all do it. And I know for me, I would burn out over and over and over again. You know when I before I was a mom, and I didn't even know that I was burning out. And it's like my dad used to always say to me, "My grandmother always said when she was alive, can't burn the candle at both ends, Ali." And I used to annoy me. It's like, oh, whatever, Dad. But now I get it. It's like it's true. You can't have both going and expect to be able to keep moving things, making things progress. You have to rest and you have to allow yourself that rest and know that, hey, after that rest, then comes the cycle of creativity. Like, it's going to flow so much better if you allow things to actually kind of just, you know, happen. And I think that's something for me motherhood has really taught me is I'm surrendering more and I'm allowing that rest to happen and I'm allowing things to kind of just play. And some days it's very hard for me to allow that because I have things on my mind or I know I have things I have to do. But I have to remind myself like that this is what motherhood is about. This is my lesson right now. This is, you know, there's a reason that things have aligned for me the way they have. And I need to learn my lesson because if I don't, I'm going to keep being stuck where I know I've been before, which is the burnouts or the exhaustion or, you know, all these things. And I think going back to the guilt that we talked about, same thing. Like when you allow yourself that rest, when you allow yourself to just surrender and flow with things, the more you lose that guilt because there's— you can't have the guilt because you're kind of like dismantling that guilt. You're saying to yourself, no, I'm going to let go of those thoughts that like I need to do this and this today. I will get those things done, but maybe not all today, especially obviously it's not on a deadline per se. And, you know, and say, what is the one thing I must get done today and focus on that. And that's been a big shift for me is like I used to have to get done like 20 things in a day to feel productive. Now if I get 1 or 2 things done, it's like, okay, that's a win, you know? And I tell myself that like I didn't expect to get those things done today, so I did those. So now tomorrow, like if you don't have time to do something else, then just let it go and like rest and be with the girls and just focus on them, you know? And I think that that's a permission we have to really give to ourselves no matter what our situation is and say to ourselves Some days are going to be productive and some days are going to be at rest and it's okay either way.

I think so too. And I really think it's important. You know, I love writing a to-do list and checking things off, but you're right. I have a schedule now and I schedule in moments for me to rest or moments that I'm not going to do interviews or not going to do recordings for the podcast or whatever it may be because We all need those times to, to spark our creativity.

Yeah.

I love everything that you shared and I'm so grateful that you took the time to be on the show. I wanted to ask you, what is your definition of resilience?

Ooh, this is my definition of resilience. I guess kind of what we were saying before when you said about, you know, the falling apart, I think that, you know, a lot of times in our world, we feel like we can't be vulnerable. We can't be, you know, sharing hard times because we're supposed to always keep it together and keep things pretty. I definitely was extremely guilty of that. And I think that I learned again through motherhood and everything from going from like the glam glam of being a celebrity stylist to now being a mom and not being able to get so glam all the time that, you know, when I fell apart from the postpartum depression, And I, you know, lost myself, but then found myself in a beautiful way all over again. That's resilience. You know, it's it's it's it's falling down and being able to get back up. We all have vulnerable times. We all have hard times. Even if you don't see them on a highlight, you know, feed on someone's Instagram. That's the one thing I can't stand about social media is like even I try so hard to post raw images and things that aren't necessarily as pretty as someone would want them to. be. But even then, it's still a pretty photo because it just is. That's just what social media is. And I think we have to remember that there's actually a story and a mess and a situation behind every picture when you look at social media. And so if you're listening and you look at someone's social and you say, oh gosh, you know, look at this, they look perfect, remember they most likely went through their own struggles and they went through their own shed And their own vulnerability. And I think that, you know, when you, when you can realize that and you can look at yourself and say, but I still pulled through and I still did it, you know, that's resilience. And you have to sometimes allow yourself to fall apart to be able to bring yourself back together in a better way.

Oh, that is beautiful and powerfully said. Thank you for that. Um, well, I know who I'm calling. When I need like to be styled for an event.

Yes, I can't wait.

I hope that I have something to be styled for. Right now I'm doing all my speaking virtually. So I'm literally like dressed from the waist up. Yeah, Tiffany, I've been helping people get ready for their virtual speeches.

Like I've been helping them do like their closet. You know, if they like, they wanna do a remote consultation, they're like, hey, just help me pick something what I have. I've been helping them. Like they'll show me their closet and we'll do a remote Zoom. And I'll help them pick out an outfit for their virtual speech. So I've also learned to pivot in this time and you know make virtual work. So it doesn't. I love to be in person, but you can also do it virtual.

Well, I hope I get to see you in person really soon.

IRL sometime soon.

Oh, you thank you so much. Tell us where people can find you.

Yes, thank you so much for having me on. I love your show, and people can find me all across social media at. Ali Levine Design, just A-L-I-L-E-V-I-N-E Design. My website is alilevine.com. That's where I share styling tips, where I blog about motherhood. It's a real combination of lifestyle, my TV segments that I do normally in a non-COVID world where I share about brands and everything. You can also book me for styling. Either you can DM me or you can book me at alilevinestyling.com. You know, sign up. Like I said, I'm doing remote, you know, consultations and actual stylings and everything. Um, I also am on the Styled Life app and website that I talked about. It's called styledlife.com, S-T-Y-L-D-Life.com, and you can book me there as a stylist as well. I work with a team on that. And—

And also, y'all listen to her podcast. I love your podcast. You have some of my favorite—

You're gonna be a guest on it soon.

Yeah, I can't wait. Yeah, your podcast is awesome. And if you don't already follow her, follow her right now on Instagram for sure. You can see all her stories and her beautiful baby girls. I just— you have such a beautiful heart and soul.

And I love what you're doing with your podcast and everything you're putting out in the world. And, you know, I love it. Like I said, with the pacer to remind myself of that. I think you have a beautiful message and everything.

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.

Yeah, thanks for having me on.

Thanks so much for joining us this week on True Grit and Grace Podcast. If you like it, please rate it or share it with your friends. That would help too. If you're not yet on the newsletter list, come over to AmberlyLago.com/newsletter. And jump on it. While you're there, you can grab a free downloadable gratitude journal, and you might just want to check out my book or even check out my monthly motivational membership. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next week. Bye.