Shredding the Silence: Navigating Menopause with Tamsen Fadal

I am so glad you're here. I have my friend Tamsen Fadal with us today. She is the author of How to Menopause. That's right, we're going to be talking about menopause. But fellas, before you tune out, just know we are talking about how to improve your sex life. Actually, we're diving deep into everything from weight gain, what you should eat, hormone replacement, achy joints, night sweats. We talk about it all. We dive deep. And y'all, she is the author of How to Menopause. Not only that, she's a leading journalist, and she has a new documentary. She's the producer of of the M Factor. So without further ado, I want you to welcome Tamsen Fadal to the show. And here we go. Welcome to the Amberly Lago Show, Stories of True Grit and Grace. Oh my goodness. I am so, so excited to finally be talking with you, Tamsen. And I am so excited about your book. And before we started recording, Because I feel like we have so much in common. I was like, I'm a little overwhelmed with this whole book thing. And your book is coming out in March, and I'm so excited to get it. I've already ordered it. But I was telling you how inspired I am by all that you've done and all that you do. And I think we met— I think we shared the stage at a virtual event back in 2020 is how I think I—

That's exactly right.

Yeah. And then you were kind enough, you had me on your show, and then I was like, oh my gosh, She's got this documentary, she's got this amazing book. And it's all questions that— because I'm going to be 53 soon and I'm going through a lot of changes hormonally, I have been selfishly dying to talk to you about and have a lot of questions for you.

So bring them on. Yes. Well, I'm 54, so I've got you covered.

Oh my God. Your book, How to Menopause, by the way, I saw on Audible. Is already people are like, it's the book to get.

Oh, thank you.

Oh my gosh, that's amazing.

Oh, you're so sweet. I think that, like, you know, I think this— I think that the women are amazing. I got to tell you, I think that women realize that we're allowed to have this conversation aloud and we're like, you know what? Then that's exactly what we're going to do. Because this— it has been the documentary that the tagline of the documentary was Shredding the Silence. And I thought, are we going to really be able to do that? You know, do we have— or is it— can we do that? And I think we have. I think that it's, it's time to talk about it. I think women want to talk about it. And more importantly, I think we want to share it with other women and daughters and nieces and sisters and men. So I'm, I'm excited about the time we're in for sure.

I am too. And I'm glad you're talking about it. And I mean, I have always talked to my daughters about things, everything. But when I was growing up, my mom never talked to me really about Like, you're gonna have your menstrual cycle and this is what's gonna happen. Like, our— my friends kind of told me what was going on, but that was just like a hush-hush conversation. People didn't talk about it. And, you know, I've talked about it with my daughters and they're like, okay, Mom. Okay. Yeah, I got it, Mom.

You know? Yeah.

But I love that you are talking about it and you are shredding the silence. And how did you start to talk about it? What inspired you to be an advocate and the expert in this? Like, you are the go-to person, whether it's on your YouTube channel, on your Instagram, which is blown up. I mean, y'all have got to follow her on Instagram because you're so real, you're so authentic, and you give so much great information and you get millions of views on your reels. But what inspired you to become and, you know, be an advocate and talk about this subject?

I think I was just angry at— I think I was angry at, like, how I was treated and confused. And then I, and then I thought, oh, my story is so unique. And then I got really angry when I found out that my story was nothing but unique. And I don't— it's interesting. Like, I don't know that I— if I look back 5 years ago, I would have— and you said to me, you're gonna be talking about menopause every day. I'm like, what? Why would I be doing that? But I've realized that it's a bigger conversation than menopause. It's about age. It's about where we are right now in this time. It's about the fact that we're working longer. We have less resources in terms of our health. We have less information. And I think that every one of those, I just kept peeling back these layers of the things that women need and the things that we need to be healthy and not just live long, but live long well and live long feeling good. And the more I got into it, the more I shared, the more that people shared back with me. And I think that That's the interesting and neat part of it. And then when we went out to do the documentary, The M Factor, you know, we got a lot of pushback, like there's no audience for that. No one's going to be interested in that. It's a small niche audience. And there's a billion women around the globe in menopause. So that's not a niche audience. And when we released the film, we gave it out to communities. And we said for the last 3, 4 months, if you want the film, we'll give you the film, license it for free. Take it in your community and share it with whoever needs it. And we've been in 500 cities around the country and 40 different countries with women bringing theaters and communities together themselves to talk about this. Isn't that amazing?

It's amazing.

Like, the women that are doing it, it's amazing. My head— I get messages all day long. Like, I was at a screening last night. Somebody put it together. I mean, these women are, you know, they're full-time nurses or full-time doctors or full-time moms. And they're putting this all together. So I'm really just— I don't know.

Well, that, that is amazing. I got goosebumps when you said that because I think when women come together, it is just powerful. And you are that kind of woman since, I mean, you have achieved luminous success before you did the, you know, this documentary, before you wrote this book. I mean, you have been on TV. You've, you've traveled all over the world. So you've had luminous success, yet you are so giving, you are so loving, you so want to help. And even before we started recording, you're like, well, how can I help you with your book? Like, what can I do?

I get it. I get what's going on. I know it's hard. I mean, I think we have to do that. I think I want to— you know what? It's not we have to do it. I want to do it because I think it makes me feel good and it makes you feel good. Look what you're doing. You're lifting up women all the time. And so I But I agree with you that, that I— maybe I wasn't always aware of it, or maybe I'm seeing it more now. Maybe I'm slowing down a little bit to pay attention to it. But what I have seen in how these women are sharing, it makes me know there's such a lack of resource and such a need for information that I, I just, I don't know. I want to keep doing more to keep pushing it out there because, because I think there's a lot more work to do, quite frankly. I don't think we can be like, okay, did a film because that's not going to be enough. There's more. There's more. There's more that needs to be done.

But you're, you're right. A lot of times people haven't talked about it. Like, I remember, you know, having blood work done and the doctor said, well, you're not perimenopausal yet. And I'm like, okay, what is that? What does that mean?

Like, what does it come from?

Yeah. Where, where does that come from? Is that like before menopause? What is menopause? So I think we need to break it down a little bit and just talk about it, though. A little bit. Not much.

No. Oh, I was going to say you have a great doctor.

No, no, not, not really. Not, not much. But, you know, they said, well, how old are you? And when I said— they said, well, surely you'll start to go through the change soon. And but didn't really talk about it much. So explain to our listeners, even the men out there, Because this is for you too, so you can understand what your wife may be going through. Explain for the listeners a little bit the difference between, like, what is perimenopause, what is menopause, so people understand that.

Yeah. And I want to say one thing. I am so happy with the number of men that I'm seeing asking this question lately, which I was at a meeting yesterday, and this guy's like, I think my wife might be in menopause. And I said, why do you say that? And then I went through all the different signs, and he goes, and she has a She has this patch she wears on the side. And it's like, yes, that's exactly what's going on there. That's not a Band-Aid. That's not a Band-Aid for something. So, you know, there's the 3 stages and there's perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause. And for the purposes of the book and kind of for life, just to make everything a little bit easier, I just say anything past menopause, you know, menopause is just menopause. And I'll say, like, now you're in post. But perimenopause is any of those years leading up to menopause, which is 12 months without, without a menstrual cycle. And that's where we see a lot of these symptoms that we talk about all the time, like more severe, wacky, all over the place. That's when your hormones are like all over the place. And we see the hot flashes start and the night sweats start, and there's probably weight gain, even if you're eating the same and exercising the same and not changing anything at all. Then, you know, we start to see things like— and everyone comes by it differently. The brain fog can happen, the joint pain can happen, the itchy skin can happen. Sleeplessness, restlessness, anxiety, rage, mood swings. So that's the perimenopause years when you were lose, you know, starting to lose estrogen. And again, when you hit menopause, now you're not going to get your period anymore. And after that, you know, we're in menopause the rest of our lives. It doesn't—we don't stop and come through it, and then that's the end of it. But what I do feel, which I try to say to anybody that's. Like 35 and under, so they're not freaked out, or 40 and under, so they're not freaked out. Is like once you go through that, things start to level off and you start feeling this. I don't know. I feel like a very different feeling, and I don't know what it was. I don't know if I slowed down a little bit to pay attention. I don't know if I said, okay, my health has to come before everything else right now, because if I don't feel good, I can't go travel to see my dad who's 85 years old. If I don't feel good, I can't even tolerate my husband. If I don't feel good, I can't think at work. So I think that there's some kind of beauty that comes out. I think there's a gift. that comes on the other side of this. And, you know, and then with menopause, everybody comes by it differently. And you might have 2 symptoms or you might have 10 symptoms, but every woman deserves to be seen and understood and not feel like they're alone in this process.

Oh, well, when you're describing the symptoms, I'm like, is that why my joints are so—

Yes. Yes.

I swear I was like, oh, but I so agree. It's like, This last year has been a lot with my health. I've had some health challenges. I was actually back in a wheelchair and the mindset it took to get over that and get out of a wheelchair again and the brain fog, that's all from complex regional pain syndrome. But to throw in—

I was going to say you have so much you're dealing with on top of.

Yeah. And to throw in some perimenopause on that. Oh my goodness. My husband better look out. Well, so do you— I want to talk about hormones and hormone replacement, because I remember when I was in my 30s and I had clients that were going through menopause or they were in menopause and they'd say, oh, you just wait. It's, it's horrible. You're not going to want sex anymore. You— it's just terrible. You have no energy. Like, it just made me scared to death of it. Scared.

Yeah.

You know, and I'm like, well, I don't, I don't want to be that way. And I've heard both ends, like, do hormone replacement, don't do hormone replacement. So can you educate us a little bit on what one should do when they're starting to notice symptoms? Is there something they can do to prepare to be into full-blown menopause?

Yeah. I mean, I think that there's a couple of things in terms of preparation. And those are things that we hear over and over again, right? Make sure you're getting your sleep, make sure you're going to bed at the same time, getting up at the, you You know, the same time every day. Get outside, get some light. Make sure you're moving. Make sure you know you're looking at a diet which is an anti-inflammatory diet. More protein than than anything else. Make sure you're doing strength training versus just you know hardcore what we used to do in the eighties, which is like make me skinny. You know that was like yeah totally different mindset than it really really was. I you know I think with hormone therapy there's a lot of people that feel very confused by it rightfully so. There was a study that had a lot of women feeling very confused about hormone therapy, and it was a project to investigate whether or not hormone therapy could help prevent heart disease. And with regard to osteoporosis and breast cancer, and there were a lot of results from that study that were, that were misreported. And the study was prematurely halted in 2002. And the concern was that the scare was that it was linked to an increase in breast cancer.

Yeah.

Results-wide panic. Women went from— I don't remember the percentage of women that were using hormone therapy. I think it was like 40% down to 40 in the US. Yeah, it was 40 to like between 4 and 6% using hormone therapy.

Well, it went from 40% down to 4% women using hormone therapy.

Yeah, that was way back. Yeah, 20-plus years ago. And, you know, the increased risk of breast cancer was, was misreported. You know, the way it looked at it, the WHI, it was a different population that was, that was chosen. Those were people that were postmenopausal. And so I think that the effects of that have left a lot of women very confused and concerned. And it was myself too. I lost my mother to breast cancer, and I thought, you say the word breast cancer, anything that could be around that, I don't want anything to— I can't. I'm too scared. What I have learned, and this is probably why I'm so passionate about where I am right now, is that I had the wrong information and I suffered for quite a few years feeling lost At work and with my brain, my confidence, my body, my weight, my sleep, my relationships, and had no idea that for me, hormone therapy was a good option. It's not for everybody. There are contraindicators if you have a history of breast cancer. You know, if you have a history of stroke, there's some different people that cannot or should not or should talk to their doctor before they make a decision like that. And they might not be good candidates for it. But for the majority of the population, they're pretty good candidates for it according to all the research that's out there right now. I think what's important is we have more research for people that are not good candidates for it. And I think we've really been misled about a lot when it comes to women's health. So for me, hormone therapy is, you know, my combination of estrogen, progesterone, and I use testosterone now. It's referred to as MHT, menopausal hormone therapy. And it's been a game changer for me. For me, it's been the best treatment for the big symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, vaginal dryness and painful sex.

Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing that. And I think it's so important to find the right doctor who knows what they're doing. They specialize in hormones and being able to look at your blood. Blood tells everything. Because I will tell you, I went to one doctor who I was like, oh, this is going to be great. Because this doctor, I just moved to Dallas. All my other doctors were in LA. And this doctor was Like, you pay all this money upfront and then you can just call them up. They can just look at your blood. They can just prescribe things. And I was like, well, I'm on the road so much, this will be great. And they gave me too much testosterone. He said, oh, you've got zero levels of testosterone and this and that.

Yep.

And couldn't understand why all of a sudden I had this thick, long hair and all of a sudden my hair was just falling out. Like, I would go to get my hair done, to get my roots done, and my girl would be like, I don't know how you have hair left. She would just pull globs of hair. And I was like, oh my goodness. So I went to another doctor and he goes, well, I can tell you exactly why your hair's falling out. Your testosterone levels are that of a super man guy.

Like, Way, way under the approved, you know, you know, amount for, you know, there's no FDA approved for women of testosterone. So we use a 10th of a man's version. But were you on pellets or what were you on? No, a cream. Cream. And so it was too much.

Yep. And I said, well, so can I throw all that away? And he said, throw it away. Do not take that anymore.

So you see, though, like, that makes me so sick because I just, I just think of so many women that have been misled.

Yeah. And the importance of having a good doctor. And so I'm going—

The doctor.

What?

It's so important to have a good doctor, like you said.

Yeah, because that is— hormones are powerful. And I want to go back to something you said. So y'all go find a good doctor who knows what they're doing with hormones. Yes. But I want to go back to something you said about sex. Yeah. So libido. Yeah. Women, you know, we start to lose the hormones, especially if we're, you know, going— we're in menopause or whatever. And men, especially now, men, if they're doing— if they're low T and they're doing testosterone supplements, let me tell you, they aren't losing their libido. They're like, ready.

They're doing great.

They're doing great. They're doing great. Let's talk about— so before you got help and, you know, you're like, you're having night sweats, brain fog, not feeling good, it can affect your relationship. And you talk a lot about, you know, how to have a healthy sex life.

Yeah.

How does this help someone who maybe— because that's one of the things that I heard from one of my clients is that sex hurt. And I was like, what do you mean sex hurt?

Now I have that problem to deal with.

Yeah. Yeah, that freaked me out. So does the hormone replacement help with that?

Well, there's— it does. And there's also a vaginal estrogen that helps with it, because a lot of women describe things like burning, or it feels very dry, hurts. And that's a lack of estrogen. And so for me, vaginal estrogen, which pretty much all women can use because it's a topical. It's not being absorbed into your bloodstream. Sorry about that. Is something that makes a huge difference. It's a huge game changer. I don't think it's the only thing, but it's a huge game changer. And I think that those are the questions that I want women to be able to have. So if they say, listen, I don't want to do hormone therapy, but could I do this? Because here's what's happening. I don't know that a lot of doctors say, how's your sex life going? And I don't know that a lot of us want to go in there and be like, hey, I'm in so much pain when I have sex Because we think it's something wrong with us, right? We always think that. We always think like, I'll just suffer through it. I'll just deal with it. Maybe it maybe it'll stop. But there's an actual real reason for it. And I think that you know we see a lot of relationships with a lot of problems during this time because a woman look you don't want to have sex if it's painful period. And a man doesn't necessarily or your partner doesn't necessarily understand what's going on. And so I think it's incumbent upon one doctors to to be very aware during this time to be asking that question so we don't feel like it's that hush hush. You know, topic all the time.

Yeah, it's so important when you can just talk about those things and go, oh, me too. That's happening to you. It's— I'm not the only one. And that there is a solution for it. Now, I want to talk about things that change, like bloating, belly fat. When you're used to eating a certain way and working out in a certain way and you aren't worried about bloating or what outfit you're going to wear because you feel like you have a little pooch.

Yeah.

There's been times when I'm like, holy cow, where did this come from? What the heck is going on? I feel like I'm 5 months pregnant.

I know. I called my best friend today and I was like, I don't know what's going on in my body again, but I'm going back to the doctor to see what's happening because there is this— it's just a very different feeling. And when you feel that weight shift and the scale doesn't change, the body changes and your sizes change. And it's funny. I was thinking about this when I set out to write the book, and I said, well, I can deal with hormones, and I can talk about nutrition and exercise, and I can talk about strength training. We got all that. But there's like all these other parts of our lives, like relationships and workplace and how we feel with our confidence and mindset and our clothes and our style. And this kind of like we do all these get ready with me videos. And I said, it's get real with me at this time. Like, here's what's really going on out there. And so I had a I had a good time writing the book because I learned a lot from all these different stylists who helped with like, hey, when you feel bloated, make sure these are the outfits in the front of your closet. Stop making yourself feel like crap just because you—

Oh.

Put these clothes here. Here's what would be good to hide this. And then understand what we're going through so you don't think it's something you're not doing right with your body. And I think that I had a lot of that initial like, oh, gosh, I'm not Working out hard enough, eating good enough, sleeping smart enough. You know, I had that whole thing go on, and I want this book to be kind of permission to understand what's happening. And then that's, that's how we can go from there to solve things.

But even that advice right there to put certain clothes in the front of your closet, because I don't know about you listening, but I've been there. Like, I have in my closet paper, like, taped to the wall. And I do so many speaking events. I'm like, at this event, I'm wearing this and I'm wearing— I'll list what—

That's so awesome.

What I'm going to wear. But it changes because I was like, wait a minute, I'm feeling bloated. I'm not wearing that dress. You just, you just gave great advice. I'm just going to put those other clothes.

Put those in the front so you don't feel like— otherwise you go into the closet and you're like, Can't wear that right now. Can't put those pants around my waist. My my my boobs aren't fitting right into something. Like I absolutely do that. I put those outfits. I have a little area of those outfits that feel good on me. I don't want to keep recycling them every time, but that's what I do with those. The pants that like drop a little bit, so I don't feel like I'm like so tight into something. I don't I don't even want to do anything. They just make me feel good about myself. And so I'm just I've tried to really find some. some ways so we can feel good and we're not fighting to feel like we're 20 again. Yes. That's not, that's not going to ever help.

Yeah. Well, I, first of all, I love when you just pop on and go live and start sharing and you keep it real. And I love your get ready or get real with me videos. I love it because I'm like, yeah, I feel the same way. I am right there with you. And I love this one video that you did of it was like 5 things that will never do in my 50s again. And one of them was like, I will not compare myself to someone who's 20. Yeah. Give us some other things that you will not do in your 50s.

Oh, gosh. Well, I mean, I think right now is like sacrificing myself for everything. Like, I was the yes girl all the time. Me too. I put this in that list, but I was like, yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And part of it was fear of missing out. And the other part of it was like a fear of disappointing people. Those are my 2 lanes. And so I've really tried to not do that anymore. And I think that that's taken— I'm not perfect with it, but it's taken me a long time to train myself to be like, okay, you got to stop. It doesn't mean I say no to everything, and it doesn't mean I say yes to everything, but it means that I actually think about what I'm doing, and it's for my better good, you know, from, for me, or if I know it's really going to help somebody else or help, you know, a group of people. Um, that's been really big for me lately. And also not sacrificing my health, you know, not sacrificing sleep, not sacrificing the, um, I don't know, the how I eat and what I'm doing in those areas. And then trying to be a little more present. My dad's 85. I think about it all the time. And, um, I really just try to make sure I'm aware so I don't have regrets there.

Oh, that's so good. And I'm— I was the same way. And I'm not always perfect at, you know, this change I've made either. But in fact, right before this, I was— I ran in the bathroom and I was like, Hurley, trying to put some makeup on really quick. And my husband was like, what are you doing? I said, oh, I'm— I'll be online all afternoon. And I said, and, you know, this person asked for this and this person asked for this and this person asked for that. And I was quickly doing these things for people. And then I was like, wait a minute, I got to get stuff done that I need to get taken care of because I've always been that yes girl and I don't want to disappoint people and I want to support people. But that's one of the things. And I love that you said you learned a lot by writing your book because I learned a lot writing mine too. And one of them is like, I'm an overcoming people pleaser and I just want— let me just fix this. Let me do this for you. And it's like—

Well, just take a second. Yeah.

And I'm like, well, wait a minute. And I have gotten a lot better about looking out for my health. Even I just got back in town. I was speaking at an event, and in the middle of the day, I went and laid down for just 20 minutes to get off my leg. And then I was like a new person, and then I could go serve again. And so it's taken me a lot to kind of learn those lessons. But what were some of the biggest lessons that you learned? Because I think writing a book can be cathartic. But what were some of the biggest lessons that you learned by writing your book?

Well, I think for sure that when we talk about menopause, we're really talking about a lot more than that. We're not just talking about that one day that your period stops. I mean, we're talking about a new season. We're talking about a new season. And I think that I use the word menopause to encompass all that, and but it really did hit a lot of different areas of life. Like it's it's a it's part of this you know of everything we're going through right now, and I think that was one thing I learned. And I think the other thing that I learned is I had to. I'm a big note taker. I've been a journalist for a long time. I want like to get everything in there, and I think what I really had to learn was to distill the information so my brain could process it. And not make it overcomplicated. And that's really hard to do. But I really loved it because I kept thinking of the woman that was going to read the book. And I thought, this is going to be somebody that is running around doing 100 things, whether she's working a million miles an hour, running around with kids, you know, trying to deal with an aging parent, or doing all of those together. And, and she's going to— if she's feeling any of these symptoms. She could be feeling exhausted, brain fog, not sleeping, can't even, like, think straight sometimes. And I wanted the book to be very simplified for that. So I did learn how to do that. Uh, it took a lot to, like, it's like, how do I say this simply enough and then make sure that, you know, it, it still makes sense? And then I think I learned the, um, the community part of it, like, in a huge way.

Mm-hmm.

Like, I learned how people, how people show up for you and how, um, People want to help, and maybe they don't always know what they can do. And I realized that this book took a whole community effort. There's the doctor part of the community, there's the real women part of the community, there's the thought leader part, there's the advocates, and there's just those women that want to just support you somehow. Just tell me what to do.

Yeah, well, you've definitely brought community together. I mean, even since I first I just met you a few years ago. Not that long ago. Well, gosh, the last few years have flown by.

I was thinking it was 2020, I think, right?

I think it was 2020. I can't believe it's been that long.

I remember you were such an amazing speaker. I was like, oh my gosh, she's so good.

Oh, I felt that way about you. And honestly, out of everybody that I heard speak at that event, I was just so drawn to you.

I felt the same way.

You are just such a bright light and such You're such a go-getter. And I love your authenticity and how you keep it real and just your heart. It shows in everything that you do. And I have just watched you. I mean, you've always been this star and this star journalist, but now you're like a superstar on YouTube and Instagram with all these reels and stuff that go viral and the movement that you have created and the voice that you are giving to women and also giving women permission to have a voice and talk about these things is just unbelievable. And I can't wait to get my copy. As soon as I saw that your book was for presale, I was like, ordering that. And, and I just—

I can't wait to get yours.

Oh, well, I—

It's earlier now.

Oh my goodness. Yeah. Yeah. Our books were out at like the same time. And then my publisher was like, oh yeah, we're going to move your book up to— is that okay? February 11th. And I'm like, sure. And I'm like, why did I say that was okay? I'm like, I need more time.

Yes. Because you said yes.

I said yeah again. I was like, sure. Yes, let's do it. Let's make it work.

Anything for you. Of course.

But I have to say, I, I mean, I look at all— like, you're one of my favorite people to watch.

Thank you.

Whether it's YouTube, Instagram, or what. And your landing page for your book is beautiful. And I was like, oh my gosh.

We wanted it to be fun. It is. It needs to be kind of fun because that topic, it's a how-to on menopause. Come on, we need to have fun.

Yes. Well, it is. And tell people where they can go to the landing page because you have created all these Free bonuses. Hello, y'all. Get the book, whether it's for you or your mom or your husband or who. We need to spread this book. We need to spread this message. So tell people where they can go get the free bonuses and order your book.

Oh, thank you. Yeah. howtomenopause.com. And we have a men's guide going up, like, literally as we speak.

Are you serious?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Outside the book, it's just a free— it's just a free guide. But I think it's really important for men to have, like, They need to be paying attention.

Well, because it surely affects them.

Yeah, it surely affects them.

And I've definitely had some night sweats. And my husband's like, man, you're all out of whack. Like, go to the doctor. You're all out of whack.

Look, I live out of whack, so I get it.

Yeah. Yeah. His loving nickname for me actually is Crazy. And I kind of like it. Lean into it. Yeah. Well, tell people where they can see the documentary as well. Oh, wait, wait. What's the landing page for the— where they can get the free bonuses? howtomenopause.com.

And then we have community events going on all over the place for the documentary. So if you go to the Instagram handle, The M Factor, film, then there's lists of all different community screenings in all different places where women are holding them.

Okay. And you are going to be in Dallas for a book signing?

I just found out May 1st. So I'm going to— I'm going to send all those tour dates out and everything, but I'm going to contact you too and let you know for sure.

Okay. Yeah, let me know so I can— I don't have as much network here in Dallas yet. They're mostly in LA. So when you're in LA, maybe I'll just go to LA as well.

Um, my friend, that's April 1st. That'd be great.

April 1st, my favorite day.

Yeah, one of my favorite days.

I love April Fools.

I'm gonna be at the Grove.

Oh, it's gonna be at the Grove? Yeah, April 1st at the Grove. Um, Do you know who Rebecca Zung is?

Of course I know Rebecca. Yeah, I gotta let her know.

Oh, yes, you gotta let her. So, yeah, she asked me to be like the emcee of her book signing at the Grove. So I rallied a bunch of my women and we like showed up and I got to interview her at the Grove for her book signing.

Okay. Okay. That's awesome. All right.

Rebecca and I will have to come. to your book signing April 1st.

And then afterwards too.

Yes. I want to have some fun with you. And yeah, when you told me May 1st, I was like, oh, I'm coming to your book signing in Dallas. I was like, oh crap, I'm supposed to have surgery then.

I was like, no, no, let's do the April 1st. I think that's going to be a lot of fun.

Well, I want to move this. I'm not looking forward to this surgery, so I want to move this out. So I'm like, huh?

Don't blame me.

Signing or surgery? I think the book signing wins. I can put that off a little while. So Yeah. Well, also, you guys have to follow her. Give us your Instagram handle, your website again so people can head over and tag this episode. Take a screenshot and tag me too at Amberly Lago Motivation. And when I see that, I share that. But I want you to go out and grab this book. I can't wait to get mine and just get your free bonuses. But give everybody that information again.

Sure. It's tamsonfidel.com and howtomenopause.com. And I'm @tamsonfidel on Instagram with you.

Yes. So, oh my goodness. And yeah, shout this off the rooftops so we can get this book in the hands of people. Watch the documentary. And we need to talk about this more because nobody was talking about it when I was growing up and I didn't really know much. It's the best kept secret out there. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm sure my husband is going to personally thank you when I'm feeling better.

And I know I got, I got a guide for him.

A guide. So fellas got to get that guide. And so can they get that guide on your website or should they go to your Instagram?

It's on the website. It'll be, it'll be up like in the next week.

So, okay, so this will be out by then. Yep. Perfect. This will be out by then. Well, my goodness, I just love every single chance I get to talk with you. And I'm so excited about your book and I'm excited about seeing you at your book signings. So thank you so much for being here and sharing your wisdom with us. And one, one more question before we go. For someone who might be saying, well, there is just no way I'm doing hormone replacement. Do you recommend any supplements that are more natural that they could take?

I mean, I think there's no pill that's going to fix menopause or solve menopause or cure menopause. But I'll tell you the supplements that I use in addition to what I'm taking right now. And vitamin D is a really big one. I do that in all my smoothies. I have a hot girl menopause smoothie, so I try to dump a lot into there. I use a maca powder too in there. There's not a lot of research on some of these, but there is some research on supplements, and I go through all of them in the book, and they're all, you know, all of the references are in there as well. Magnesium is very big for me for sleep, and I think that's been really helpful because I think that's one of the really big ones that's very, very difficult. And then finally, I'm just trying to think of the other one that would be good if we're just talking about somebody that's not doing any kind of hormone therapy. I mean, those are the really the ones I use, and fiber is huge for me for weight loss. For weight. I mean, I have fiber all the time, more than I want to admit.

Okay, that's awesome. And yeah, magnesium is a game changer. I take that every night before I go to bed. Really bad. Yeah. Yeah. And it also— actually, I have a nurse that comes to the house and gives me IV treatments, especially before I'm about to leave town. And it's got glutathione, vitamin D, magnesium, C, zinc, And just the hydration part of it and vitamin B because helps with the brain fog, with energy, but also the magnesium helps relax the muscles and relax you. Like, I can start to—

I underestimated that one for a long time. I don't anymore.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I took magnesium last night and my husband came to bed later. I don't know what I was dreaming or doing in my sleep, but I was out. I didn't remember. I was sleeping the wrong way in the bed.

He goes, he woke me, he's like, I love that. What are you doing? I love that. That's so funny. But yeah, it really helps.

So yeah, that's great. And are the— is the recipe for your smoothie, is that in the book too?

It's in the book too. Yeah. Yeah, it's all there. Okay.

And you drink that every day? Do. Yeah. I got to get me some of that.

Okay. Protein in it. It's got all this stuff because otherwise I'm like, Like, how am I getting all this? So I just dump it in there and mix it. Literally.

I've got— look at this. I've got on my desk. I know, I know.

I'm with you.

Yeah. Well, this has been amazing. It's so good to catch up with you again. Thank you for being on the Amberly Lago Show, and I can't wait to see you in person soon. I look forward to it.

It's going to be LA and Dallas.

Yes. And hey, thank y'all for tuning into the show. It's because of you that you've made this a top 1% podcast. So thank you for tuning in. And if you found value in this for yourself, or you think somebody is like, oh, I need to send this to them, please share this with them. Let's spread the joy. Let's spread the information, especially on this menopause that we need to be talking more about. So thanks for tuning in. Thank you. And I'll see you next week.