Step into Your Voice and Own Your Story with Dr Cheryl Wood

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People want the glory, but not your story. Failing and deciding to try again. So if I took you back to the beginning, it really started in 2009 when I was still working a full-time job as a legal secretary in corporate America. Nobody in that environment was saying, oh, you can be a giant in the world. No one in that environment was certainly saying you could be, you know, cross 7 figures and become a millionaire or any of the things that I've been blessed to be able to accomplish.

Mm-hmm.

And so to get to a place where I had a full-time job that at the time was paying me about $75,000 a year seemed like Girl, you are winning. I wanted to show them what it looks like to have a bigger dream that seems so totally unrealistic based on where you are right now, but to be able to walk it out and accomplish it.

What do you feel that is the number one cause of stopping women?

Definitely fear is number one, limiting beliefs, and comparison. I feel like those are the three. I stopped focusing on what I'm qualified to do. I stopped focusing on how many letters I do or don't have behind my name. I stopped focusing on what people think I need to be on a stage or to create transformation in the world.

Thank you so much for being here. I'm excited for you to hear today's guest. She is the real deal. Let me tell you, she is a powerhouse. She has become a very good friend of mine, someone who I love, who inspires me, and is doing so many amazing things in the world. She understands the power of voice, not just as a skill, but as a calling. And joining me today is Dr. Cheryl Wood. She's an internationally renowned TEDx speaker times 2. She's a bestselling author of, I don't know, maybe 29 books or something like that. She is the CEO of Global Speakers University. And where she does professional training and development to transform leaders into influential communicators who ignite real change. I mean, the list goes on and on and on of the accolades that she's— she has done so much and continues to do so much. And she's got a new book out that we're going to talk about as well called Turning Unlikely into Undeniable. So, Dr. Cheryl, I am honored to have you on the show. Thank you so much for Being here.

Oh my goodness! Finally, I get to spend time with the Amberly Lago. I am just—it's a blessing, and I'm thrilled to be here.

Thank you for having me. Oh my goodness! Well, I when I first met you, gosh, was in person at E Women's Network. Was that three years ago?

Uh, two years ago.

Two two years ago. It feels like we've known each other longer than that, but yes. I know it does. You're one of those people like we can message each other, and it feels like. We've just known each other forever, but I met you, you, I was one of the judges there and you got on stage and I was like, what? Who is this lady? I was like, I want her to win. And I couldn't really say that. I think I may have even said something to you though. Did I say something on the side? Like, I'm rooting for you. I'm rooting.

And it's so ironic, Amberly, but I already knew you because I had been stalking, I mean, following you for quite some time. Online. And so when I— even when I walked in, I was like, wait a minute. I, like, I did a double take. I was like, is that flipping Amberly Lago?

Aw.

And I just admired your work from afar, just online, had no connection to you other than admiring your story and seeing how you use that story to engage so deeply with people on stages. And so when I walked in that room, I had no clue. I, I didn't know that you were a judge. I just I just saw that you were there and I, I remember running up like, Amberly Lago, you don't know me, but I know you. And it just happened that you ended up being one of the judges. But yeah, I'll never forget that.

And you won. Yeah. And then I got to be a judge. So I guess every year, is it the winner for the previous year gets to be a judge for the fall? Yeah. So we got to be judges together and that was a blast. That was so much fun. Such an incredible event, really good speakers, but it was just so much fun getting to spend more time with you and getting to know you more. And y'all, I just have to say, Dr. Cheryl Wood is like so generous. You sponsored, you were one of the sponsors for the Unstoppable Success Summit and donated like, I, Over hundreds of magazines that were beautifully done. And I still have a few. I saved a few, but I could not believe what you did and how you shipped these in. And I'm just so grateful for you. And then we got to share the stage. Did you meet Erica at that event? At the Unstoppable Women?

At your event. That's the power of showing up.

The power of showing up. So for those of you who, there's a lot of listeners that They want to level up. They are unhappy in their current job. It's not their calling, it's their job. And they want to be speakers and they just don't under— I don't know if you understand the power of showing up because Cheryl showing up at that event for me, I was like, oh my gosh, this lady's the real deal. You've met so many people at that event. And then you ended up, we ended up speaking together at Erica Rothengber. Erica Rothenberger's event, which she used to be in the mastermind and you met her at my event. And it's just, that's how it happens. Like it's all about connection. But I want to go back to your story, um, a little bit because people see you and you're always getting awards and you've written all these books and you're always on these glamorous stages all over the country. I mean, You just got back in at 4 o'clock in the morning, and that's the kind of person you are. You are here on the show no matter what. And so thank you for that. But I want people to know, like, there's somebody, I know you're listening right now and you're not happy with what you're doing in your job and you want more. Cheryl's proof that it's possible because can you take us back to where you were before you were this global award-winning speaker?

Yeah, I love that you say that because people, you know, there's an expression, people want the glory, but not your story. Because the things that you get through to get to where you are, I always say, this is my sexy chapter 15, and it looks so glamorous, but, woo, chapters 1 through 14 was, you know, a lot of it was a hot mess, falling and getting back up and failing and deciding to try again. So, if I took you back to the beginning, it really started in 2009.

Okay.

When I was still working a full-time job as a legal secretary in corporate America. And that's, you know, I felt like I was blessed to have that job because I was a girl who grew up in poverty in an inner city housing project. Nobody in that environment was saying, oh, you can be a giant in the world. No one in that environment was certainly saying you could be, you know, cross 7 figures and become a millionaire or any of the things that I've been blessed to be able to accomplish. In fact, they were saying just the opposite. You will probably be another statistic. And so to get to a place where I had a full-time job that at the time was paying me about $75,000 a year seemed like, girl, you are winning. You made it. I had no college degree. Yes. I had no college degree. Nobody in my family had ever, you know, had ever been to college. Everybody was from poverty. It was like repeating the cycle. And so to have that job, um, with benefits was like, don't rock the boat, Sheryl. Yeah. You should be grateful. That you are here, that you're making $75,000 a year. Meanwhile, something in my spirit was craving more, you know, and I think it was a combination of the more mature I became, but also once I became a mom, I wanted to show my kids something different. I wanted to show them what it looks like to have a bigger dream that seems so totally unrealistic based on where you are right now, but to be able to walk it out and accomplish it. I wanted to show them that, not just tell them that. I wanted to be the model of what that looks for. Find what you love and do it and just be, do the thing that fills your soul. And I wasn't at the time. I was going to a job that sucked the life out of me, but it made bills. Um, and so that's where I started in 2009. I started a t-shirt business. I didn't know why I was selling t-shirts. I just knew, Sheryl, in order to get something different, you've got to do something different. So the t-shirt business was just kind of, okay, do something like put your big toe in and put something in that you've never done. Do something you've never done before. So, well, I want to go back.

What were these t-shirts?

My business was called Moms Are the Best because my thought in my mind, based on stories I had read of other entrepreneurs who were successful, was don't chase money, chase something you're truly passionate about. And at the time I was so passionate about being a mom because my entire adult life I had suffered from infertility and was told I would never have kids. And you've got 3. I got 3. So God had a different plan. And I'm like, okay, well, now I got these 3 kids. Like, they're looking to me to, to look at what is possible in their lives. So, Cheryl, you got to show them something bigger than just playing safe and comfortable. Um, and so anyway, so I named the business based on what I was most passionate about because I felt like If you, if you chase money, eventually you'll probably run out of steam. Um, you'll get disinterested or you'll be chasing a whole bunch of shiny objects. But if you chase something that you're really passionate about, that you believe in, you will have the steam to keep pressing forward until you manifest what you really desire. So it was all about motherhood for me. Named the t-shirt business Moms Are the Best, kept my full-time job as a legal secretary. And on weekends I would go out and I would set up a booth. And set out all these t-shirts from size 0 to size 4XL and all these different, and I mean, had tons of inventory and go to these events and hope to sell a t-shirt or 2. Had no experience, wasn't a salesperson, didn't have a degree, just had a whole lot of, in your words, grit, a whole lot of purpose buried inside of me that was craving to get out. And that was my start, that t-shirt business in 2009.

Well, I love, well, I love your TED Talk, one of your TED Talks that I was listening to about the day everything changed when you had your, you had put your 3 kids in the car and you went to go in reverse and forgot that your husband's car was behind you. You hit the car and it was like almost to me, it seems like that was almost like the straw that broke the camel's back. Like, I cannot do this anymore. And you had just an array of emotions, one of them being anger. And you, I related to what you shared so much because I grew up in, you know, small town in Texas where it was like, hide your crazy, be a lady. You do not show emotion. You do not show if you're angry, just kind of like keep your mouth shut.

Yeah.

And don't act like anything's wrong. Just suck it up. And to me, I loved your TED Talk, which y'all should go, go watch both of her TED Talks, by the way. But, um, what was the title to it about an angry Black woman?

Being an Angry Black Woman Is a Bold Thing, Not a Bad Thing.

I love it. Cause I'm like, you use that anger to fuel you to make different changes in your career. And, and everything. And so do you feel like that moment was the moment that you started your t-shirt business or was that the moment you were like, you know what, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do something totally different. I'm gonna start coaching. I'm gonna start speaking.

Yeah, that wasn't the moment I started the t-shirt business, but it was a catalyst to me digging my heels fully in. So earlier that year, I'd actually lost my dad. My dad passed away. He was 59 years old. He passed away of a massive heart attack in his sleep. And it was just like, Cheryl, like, this is the wake-up call that if you're gonna, if you wanna live a life that you're, you keep talking about, you gotta do it now. Like, stop wishing and wondering and watching and hoping and waiting. What are you waiting on? Like, just jump in. And so then, as I was going in my daily routine of racing against traffic and racing against the clock to get the kids dropped off at 6:00 AM, To get to the job I didn't love. You know, I'm in traffic for 2 hours a day, traffic coming back again, 2 hours a day, then picking up, racing to get to the kids' daycare before the time was, you know, the time was out. It was that morning when I, I had just walked around the back of the car and got in my car, just strapped the kids in. How did I forget that quick that my husband was parked literally directly behind me? Because I was on autopilot. Because I was literally just going through the motions. I wasn't even aware of my movements from one second to the next because I was just racing, racing to do the thing that I didn't even love, that didn't even nurture my spirit. So yeah, that moment when I backed into his car, I remember putting the car in park and just, I mean, tears just streaming down my face. And I did get really angry. Like, it wasn't sadness that prompted me to, to launch the business. It wasn't. You know, oh, I'm upset. Oh, this doesn't feel good. It was anger, sheer anger. Like, there's no way. I mean, I'm smart enough. I don't have a degree, but I'm smart enough to know this is not living. This is existing. And I don't want to exist. And I don't want to— these 3 kids that I was never supposed to have, I don't want to drop them off and somebody's taking care of them for 12 hours a day.

Right.

While I go to a job that I don't love for 12 hours a day while I race traffic. For 4 hours a day. You know, it was all the things. And then when I come home, I give my kids and my family, the people I say I love the most, the worst parts of me. Like I'm this sergeant, you know, drill sergeant. It was like, okay, you're going to do this and you're going to do that. And, and then we're going to get, you're going to get in the bed because we got to do this again tomorrow.

Yeah.

It was just, it was an existence. It was not living. And I felt like there's no way that I don't have a right to live and enjoy life versus exist in it.

Well, when was it? Um, tell, tell us when it was that you got your first break as a speaker.

September 18th, 2010. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was terrified. And it came as a result, ironically, this is the importance of, we talk about showing up, but this is also, also the importance of getting started where you are. Um, Les Brown says it so beautifully, you don't have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great. And so it's like getting started even in the unknown, getting started even when you're unsure, when you have all the fear and the imposter syndrome, all the And so because I started the t-shirt business, the speaking engagement came as a result of that. I got a phone call unexpectedly. Somebody had either seen me at a vendor event, took my business card or whatever, and said, hey, we know about your, your mommy t-shirt business. We're having this women's conference at Morgan State University up in Baltimore, Maryland. We'd love for you to come and teach a session to other women in the community about how to start their own businesses as mompreneurs. I'd never heard that expression before. I was like, oh, I like that. I'm a mompreneur. And, but mostly I wanted to inspire other, other women and other moms that, yeah, yes, you can. And the ironic part about it was, by all means, in terms of quantifiable numbers and data, I was not succeeding at it at the time. I was just fearless enough to keep showing up with the assumption That there's no way you can keep planting seeds over and over again and a harvest never come in. That's just, that's impossible. And so it was, I was going on that. So, so when I said yes, it was the excitement of having an opportunity. But then as soon as I got there, it was like, girl, why did you say yes? You are not equipped for this. Like, you should have told them people no, they've been to get somebody else. So when I got there, I was, In imposter syndrome. Why did they pick me? I shouldn't be the person at the stage. I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I don't have a degree. It was all the head trash. And then it was like, well, you already said yes. So now, like, you got to get out of your own way and you have to get on this stage and you have to do it. So Cheryl, just get on stage. This is me talking to myself. Just be authentically you. It's, it, that's all you can give at this point.

I got on that stage.

I was authentically me. I was raw. I was vulnerable. I was animated. I was all the things that just naturally who I am. And it was enough, Amberly. That makes me so emotional. It was enough. It was in that moment that I knew 2 things. I was enough. And number 2, that that is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Because I remember midway through the speech, I kind of looked out into the audience and I could see the women and a couple of them had like, were wiping tears from their eyes. And I'm like, wait a minute, are they, are they crying at my speech? Am I inspiring them where they're being moved emotionally from my speech and my story? that. And then I saw people taking notes, lots of notes. And I was, I just, and, and then the, the response after when the women would come up, were coming up to me and thanking me for the presentation and the speech. And I was like, I wanna feel this way for the rest of my life by making other women feel this hope and this possibility for the rest of my life. And that was the beginning of the journey, if you will, as a speaker.

Well, and you are such an incredible speaker. I go to, I mean, I speak at so many conferences, both in person and virtually. I have seen some of the supposedly top speakers. I mean, the speakers that get paid the most out of, in, in the speaking industry. Let me tell you, you are like, I, and I told you this, I think I left you a voice memo. I was like, I'm not just saying this. Like, I love how you share. You're one of my fave. I think I even told you, I think You're my favorite, or if not my favorite, like one of my favorites. Like, I don't want to say my favorite because then other people might get really mad, but—

I was your favorite.

That, but no. Hey, you are, you are. Um, no, but because you are raw and real and the way you come across, you can tell it comes from your heart. But also, you know what, you, you have this humility about you and I think that's what makes you so beautiful too, because you're relatable, you're authentic. You don't have some big ego, like, I'm the best there is. And, um, you know, it, it's like you are just humble and hungry, which I think is a beautiful thing.

Yeah. I love those 2 words combined. Yes. You put, you, you put the, the, what'd they say? The nail on the, on the head. Yes, I am both. I am humble because of where I come from and where I started, and I, I know That if it weren't for God opening the doors of opportunity, I wouldn't be here. So the humility always is there, but I am hungry. I'm hungry for transforming as many lives as I possibly can touch, you know, for as long as I have life and breath in my body. Because I've lost some very special people to me. I lost my nephew 5 years ago. He was only 20. I lost my dad who, you know, was only 59, passed of a massive heart attack in his sleep. So it's like, you know, and then I, and I even last year I lost 2 clients. One had just turned 50. She had just turned 50. I'll be 52 soon in a couple of weeks. And she had so many hopes and dreams and possibilities. And that's why I tell people, stop creating a to-do list and create a today list. Because you may never get to check off everything on your to-do list. Oh, I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that. You don't know that. All you know is what you have right now, the life and breath that you have in your body. So, so create a today list. Today I'm going to. Do this, do this, do this, do this, and, and leave my mark and make my imprint on the world. And so just seeing people that I love and care about, you know, really be gone too soon. And it's not to be morbid. It's just to say, have gratitude for every day that you have an opportunity to do the thing that you say that you love to do.

Oh, for sure. I am so grateful just to be upright. I just got back from California and I was outside taking a trip. I took a trip to go help a friend who just Is recovering from surgery. And girl, I was just walking outside going, this is such a blessing to be able to be upright and to be able to walk right now. Like, I don't take anything for granted. Before I started recording earlier today, my husband was like, you nearly died on me and now you're already right back at it. And I'm like, yeah. That's because you know what I got? A today list. I love that. I'm going to start using that, quoting you on that. What do you think it is that holds women back, that stops them from going after their big dream or using their voice? Do you think it's fear? Do you think it's them feeling unworthy? What do you think it is in your experience with all the clients that you coach? What do you feel that is the number one cause of stopping women?

Definitely fear is number one and limiting beliefs, um, and comparison. I feel like those are the 3. Fear that, oh, I'm going to put so much into this thing. I'm going to give so much to it and then it's going to fall flat. You know, I'm going to fall flat on my face or it's going to fail. I'm not going to win. Uh, you know, it's almost like when, when women, if you ever listen to women who have been married and maybe they get divorced, they talk about, oh, I wasted so much time. I put some— did you waste time? Or did you get something from that relationship? Did you learn something? Did you grow? Did you develop new care? And so it's like really shifting the way that you see things, um, and shifting the way that you see what failure really looks like and what you think, because I believe that failure has to be a part of the journey to success. In fact, I remember hearing Simon Sinek. I got to see him speak on stage in person, and he said, without failure, there is no success. Because you can't get to a place of success without, you know, having some scrapes and bruises and doing it the wrong way so that you can figure out what is the right way. And do, you know, doing it in a way where doing things that you didn't think that you were gonna do, and maybe it wasn't as great as you wanted it to be, but then you come back and you do it again and it's even better every time that you do it again. So I think the fear is so big. Fear of failure, fear of inadequacy, fear that I'm not enough, fear of what people are gonna think or say. They're gonna think I'm not smart enough, good enough. It's all that, again, head trash. I think that's huge. And then I think comparison, especially in this social media world that we're in. And of course, people are going to put what looks best. I mean, even me, and I'm not very vain as a woman, like, it's like, it is what it is, but I will take 25 pictures to get the one I like. Right? I'm like, oh, the lighting or the angle. I don't like the way my chin looks like a double chin from that angle. Let's do it again. And my husband's like, oh my God, if you don't pick a picture. Right? So like all of us, it's kind of human nature. We want to put the best foot forward. But, but a part of that is making sure that you understand people are putting their best foot forward and that they're giving you literally one screenshot or one snap of their journey, not the whole journey in one post or one picture. And most of us are going to share the pretty side. We're not always going to share the ugly side. Sometimes, you know, we do. And I, and I try to be very intentional about sharing. The ugly sides and the times I fail as well. But most of what we see, majority, is the successful side. And so you now are comparing yourself to someone else's screenshot or snapshot in a moment.

Or highlight reel, the best. Yeah.

And you didn't see all of the, you didn't see the 25 posts that they didn't post. You didn't see the 25 failures before they got the contract, or you didn't see the, the 12 people who told them no for being on their stage. You only saw the one that where they got the yes. Um, and so we're comparing ourselves to unrealistic things, unrealistic, uh, achievements from what we see as people's, like you said, highlight reel or just their snapshot or screenshot. So I think if we pull out of that fear, limiting beliefs, imposter syndrome that, oh, I'm not good enough, I don't belong here, I'm not qualified. Well, I'm, you know, a lot of things I do, I'm not technically qualified. I don't have the qualification, but I've been called to do it. And because I'm called to do it, I'm able to show up and do it. In great power and to make great impact and transformation. So I stopped focusing on what I'm qualified to do. I've stopped focusing on how many letters I do or don't have behind my name. I stopped focusing on what people think I need to be on a stage or to create transformation in the world. And I focus on God's direction and where he tells me to go and how he tells me to serve and how he guides and opens doors and how he sends people who are sponsors to put my name in rooms that I Otherwise, I would still be telling myself I don't belong in that room. I just, I stay very focused on divine calling, divine assignment, and divine alignment.

That's beautiful. And, you know, I think we're, we all have fears. I get, I get so, you know, it's not, it's not the day that I'm given the talk and the hour that I'm on stage. Sometimes if it's a really big event, it's fear weeks ahead, like Oh my gosh, do I have my keynote? How am I going to open? What am I going to do? You know, and then comparison. I'm so glad you brought that up because I think we all compare. It's human nature, especially with social media. And I mean, this is so silly, but like last night, I know this is terror. I got in town and I was having a little trouble falling asleep and this is terrible. I know I usually use my Calm app, But I was scrolling through social media and I was looking at this one family and I'm like, well, look at that. That family is just perfect. Aren't they? The kids and the husband participate in her social media page and she's got millions of views. And I mean, then I was like, but that's nothing like me. Amberly, get off social media, put the phone away, you know? So there are times when I'm like, if I start to feel myself comparing, like, oh, I didn't know that was an event. Why am I not invited to that event? And they got the gig, but I didn't, you know, I just have to put the phone away. Because it is the thief of joy to be in comparison, but it's normal. And I always tell my mastermind members, I'm like, that are feeling like that. I'm like, you know what? Create before you consume. Because if I start consuming, I can't create my create. I'm like, oh, maybe I'm, my ADD brain is like, oh, should I do that? Oh, I should do this. Oh, I should do it. So I'm like, I don't do that. What do you tell your clients when they're in fear? How do you, what's the first thing you would tell them to get over that fear and to go ahead and just go for it?

Yeah, I think number one, just Call it out for what it is. This thing makes me terrified, or I said yes, but really in the back of my mind, I feel like I'm not qualified. I know, you know, it's, it's speak a thing out loud because I feel like you take power from it when you speak it out loud. It's when we try to keep things quiet, quietly tucked away inside of us and how we feel, because we, we think that we have to always be in control of every emotion that we have. No, you have to manage the emotions. But sometimes you're going to have emotions that you don't like, or you know that this isn't the best thing for me. So if you have that fear, call it out. And then I would say the second part would be to really leverage evidence that you already have to understand, okay, if I'm feeling this way, is there any truth to it? Is there truth to, okay, if I'm fearful of being on this stage because I don't feel qualified, is it really truthful that I'm not qualified? Well, let me go back and look at the evidence that I have. You've spoken for this organization and you've done this and you've done that. And remember how terrified when you, before you got on the stage for Verizon or Capital One or United Nations. And it's like going through the evidence and pulling on those receipts to say, there have been other things that you've been fearful of that you didn't think you were qualified for. You didn't think you were enough, but look where you are because you pressed through those things. You spoke it, you spoke it out loud. You acknowledged what it was. You acknowledged how you were feeling about it. But then you pulled out your receipts to remind yourself, yes, you are exactly where you belong, not in comparison to anybody else, not based on sometimes what your head trash is telling you, but based on exactly being in alignment with what is meant for you right now. And I tell every client, I believe that all of us have divine blessings with our names engraved on it. And I don't know if you've ever, you probably have gotten something with your name engraved on it. No one else can come and pretend that they're Amberly Lago because your name is engraved on that. So I can't go and take an ink pen and scratch it out and say, no, it's supposed to say Sheryl Wood. I can't take an eraser and try to erase out an engraving and say, it really should say. So it's like, you got to stay focused on and in alignment with what your blessings are, and nobody can stop it. But it's when you start seeking out blessings that really belong to someone else. That's when you have the biggest challenges. So press through the fear, call it out, face it head on, and then leverage receipts and the evidence that you have. But then also make sure that you're not chasing somebody else's blessings. Chase your own blessings. Come in alignment with your own blessings that you know are divinely assigned to only you that no one else can take. And it might seem like it's taking you forever to get to the blessing, but it's about divine timing, not your timing.

Thank you for that. And I'm glad you brought that up, that sometimes it may seem like it's taking forever. Because I remember when I started into speaking, my husband was getting very frustrated and he was like, oh my gosh, when are you going to get paid? You're doing so much. Because I was not getting paid hardly anything. And a lot of stuff I was doing for free, but I had a plan. I had a vision. I would have done it for free forever, but I know I got to put a roof. I got to keep a roof over our head. Um, but there is also something to be getting paid. It kind of, it's energy, you know, it's exchange of that energy. And it also is that notch of like, yeah, no, you're worth all this money that we're giving you because we want you to come and speak at our event. There is something into that, but it took a while for me to start getting paid, getting paid consistently as a speaker. And that's something I wanted to ask you because I think a lot of people, you might be listening right now and you're like, well, I want to be a speaker. And they see that Mel Robbins is getting $100,000 a talk or Brené Brown's getting $200,000 a talk or whatever their fees are. I don't know. And they think, oh, they have dollar signs in their eyes and they think that they're going to be a speaker and just automatically start getting. And I remember When I first started speaking, I had this person that was like a coach for, like, she went into companies and taught them how to speak or something. And she told me, she goes, oh, I can see you making $5,000 within a month. And I'm like, yeah, right. That took a long, a lot longer than a month to start getting paid. But with, in your experience, did it take a while for you to start getting paid consistently? What did that look like for you? And what advice do you have to someone who wants to be a speaker? Um, and they want to do it as a career.

Oh, I love that you asked that question. It was the same with me. I didn't make money right away. It took me years to get paid really well as a speaker. Um, like I mentioned, when I first started, I was still working a full-time job as a legal secretary. And for an entire year, the first year of speaking, I did it for experience and exposure, period, because I'd never done this before. I, I didn't, I didn't go to school for it. It was just something that I was walking into a calling. So I wanted to make sure that I had put myself in different circumstances and environments to experience the full range of speaking. What is it like to speak for, you know, a fully male group versus all female group? What is it like to speak for young people versus people who are seasoned in life? Or what is it? What's the difference between, you know, speaking for a university versus speaking for a faith-based organization? Like, I wanted to get a full view of speaking from different angles, if you will, and different perspectives. So for an entire year, I gave myself permission not to even require a pay because I felt like I was a student learning. And I'm like, you'll, you'll be the expert one day and you'll be able to command the pay. But I believe that if you do it well and if you learn speaking and really master speaking, you will ultimately be paid very well for it. Now, I think one of the challenges that people have who are new and emerging speakers is that they only view payment from one angle. It's, oh, an organization is gonna pay me the big check to speak. It doesn't always happen that way. A lot of the funds that I generate, I, I get paid very well to speak, but every speaking engagement is not equal. There are some who the organization cannot match my budget. They don't have the full budget to pay my speaker fee. And so there's something called negotiation. Now, I always want to make sure that it's a win-win and that there is value added to me because whether you pay me my full fee or not, I'm not going to dim, diminish, or devalue what I'm bringing to your audience. So let's say if my speaker fee is $20,000 and you only have $10,000, I'm not going to come and only give you $10,000 worth of value. You're still going to get the $20,000 worth of value. Um, but I've learned that to have multiple streams of revenue within speaking, which means sometimes it's going to be an honorarium, but there are going to be other non-monetary concessions that I get that's going to make up for the monetary piece that they can't do. So maybe they're going to provide the professional photography or videography for me, or maybe they're going to allow me to sell from the front of the room and I can go and I can sell, or maybe they're going to have me to be able to do a A book signing, exclusive book signing, and there are 500 people there and they're, or maybe they're gonna purchase 500 copies of my book through their continuing education budget, which is different from their speaker budget. So there's so many ways and streams of revenue within the speaker industry other than just the organization called me, this is my fee and they can pay it or they just can't. Some speakers function that way. I don't.

I don't either.

Because my assignment is bigger than just the check that you can write me. My assignment is about how many lives can I touch with my voice, with my impact, with my gifting, with the mastery of the skillset? How many lives can I transform for as long as I have life and breath in my body? And if I only connect that ever to just a check and how big the check is, I would really be doing myself a disservice. I would be doing the world a disservice, and I would certainly be doing God a disservice. to say everything that I do must be only connected to the right number.

Oh, that's so beautiful. That's why I love you, girl.

And I mean it. And, and I mean it and I live by it. But also, again, it goes back to what I talked about earlier about planting seeds. You cannot plant seeds and the harvest never come. And it's just— now, all the seeds aren't going to sprout, but if you plant enough seeds and you keep planting and keep planting, eventually you're going to peek back like, oh shucks, I see some stuff sprouting and you're gonna know that harvest is coming in. I'll never forget, I spoke at an, uh, and this was earlier on in my speaker, uh, journey. I spoke at a conference, but the, the thing about the conference was I had to travel maybe 5 or 6 hours to go to the conference from where I am in Maryland. And as the conference got closer, the person who was hosting it, there was word going around, 'cause I knew some of the other speakers, that the number of people the person said were gonna be there was not gonna be there. So they said, oh, there are gonna be like 200, 300 people there. And as we're getting closer, I was like, oh, it's gonna probably be more like 50. People are going to be there, not 200 to 300. All the speakers were backing out. They were—

Really?

Yeah, this is real serious. This is serious, y'all. They were rescinding. Oh, I'm not going to be able to make it, whatever excuse they gave. But it was because we got wind of the real numbers. I am a woman of my word, and I believe that I am meant to be a good and faithful steward over everything God plants in my hand, whether it's 50 people or 5,000 people. I went to the conference and I did not get paid. Um, I flew there. They did pay my flight. I flew there. And when I got there, sure enough, there were about 20, maybe 25 people who were at that conference. Okay. Now I could went all the way from Maryland, all the way 6 hours away. Um, and I did what I was called to do and I gave my speech like there were 500 people in that room. And I left and I did what I had to do and I went on back home. About 2 years later, I get a phone call from a woman who says, you, I'm sure don't know me, don't remember me. I was in the room 2 years ago when you came to XYZ location and there were about 25 people there and you were one of the speakers who did show up. She said, I have been fighting and advocating for you to be the keynote speaker for a massive women's conference that we host here. She said, for the past 2 years. And she said, and I finally got them to take a chance because normally they were used to hiring big names, celebrities. I wasn't a celebrity. I wasn't a big name. None of that. And influencer didn't even exist then. I wasn't an influencer. None of that. But she was able to, because of her belief in me and what she saw me do in that small room, she was able to then get me hired, convince her board of directors to take a chance on a nobody, somebody without a name. Um, to come and be their keynote speaker.

Wow.

There were 1,300 women at that conference. They were lined up, Amberly. The, the doors opened at 8. They were lined up at 7:25 waiting to get in. I mean, hungry. I went in that room. They paid me my speaker fee at the time. They put me up in this beautiful hotel. They had a limo to pick me up. I said, well, wait a minute. I can get used to this. Okay. I go to the conference, I go in there, and I'm just authentically Sheryl. And I leave it all on the table. I mean, I pour out all of me into that room of 1,300 women. When I tell you the way I felt when I left there, I couldn't believe that I was honored to have that opportunity. Those women ate every word up. They needed what I brought to that space at that time, and I needed them. So it was this equal exchange. I got a big check. I got treated like royalty, but that's like the sidebar byproduct stuff. The bigger piece was I needed them to fuel me, to remind me that, yes, you are meant to do this. You are born for this work. And they needed me to say, yes, you can. Whatever you want to do, whatever dream you have, whatever possibilities are lingering, yes, you can do it. If I can, you can. And that exchange was so beautiful, and I will never forget that. But that came from a free speaking engagement that I had done 2 years prior. So the monetary compensation doesn't always come in the moment. Sometimes there is delayed gratification. It's the monetary compensation is going to come down the road. And then I can't even tell you how many clients I got as coaching clients. As a result of that paid speaking engagement that all stemmed from the first non-paid speaking engagement. I have multiple stories like that. So no, I don't bank it on just what check I can get right now in the immediate. Sometimes I'll get the check in the immediate. Sometimes I'm playing the long game and I know that I'm planting seeds that are going to sprout and harvest later.

Oh, that's so good. Yeah. And you never know, um, who's in the audience, who's in the hallway. Who you're going to meet. You just keep showing up and giving your best and doing your best and planting those seeds. That is beautiful. So if you have somebody that is like, well, I want to be a speaker, what's the very first thing I need to do?

Number one, give power to your story and, and, and acknowledge this for yourself. Somebody somewhere is waiting on what I'm sitting on. That's simple. It's so simple, but so profound. And that your story can transform somebody's life. But first, you've got to acknowledge that you have a story. And number 2, you've got to acknowledge that there is power in your story. That yes, it's possible that little old you, because I know that's how we talk to ourselves, has something. You know something based on your lived experiences that somebody else somewhere in the world does not know. And they are praying for the answer. They are every day. They're waking up and they're searching and they're on Google and they're on ChatGPT. And they're in their prayer closet and they're trying to find the answer and they can't because your voice is the voice that they're waiting for. Your story, your experience is what they're waiting for. They have been assigned to you and you have been assigned to them. And until you show up, they will not be able to hear it from anybody else. I truly believe that because there are so many speakers. And when I get to work with clients, I'm like, okay, I know this person was assigned to me and I was assigned to them. Like, I'm very clear. And I'm not assigned to work with everybody. I don't have the capacity to work with everybody. I don't have the desire to work with everybody. For some other people, hey, that person's story is going to resonate more. Their energy is going to resonate more. The way that they, they work, it's going to resonate more. And then for the right people that have been assigned to me and my voice has been assigned to them, it's going to be the, it's going to be the fit that you've been looking for. And it's not going to be hard. I always say divine connection is never hard. It's easy. It flows. It's not like pulling teeth. So I would say, just give power to your story. And then I would say, get into the communities because there's so much power in proximity. Get into the communities where there are people who are doing what you desire to do. That was one of the best things I've ever done in my journey was investing very, very heftily in myself because I believe if you're going to be great, you need to learn from the greats. So I put myself on this rotation to be trained by the greats. And I've been coached by the big names in the industry. I've been coached by Lisa Nichols. I've been coached by Les Brown. I've been coached by Eric Thomas. I've been, I've been in the coaching programs with Tony Robbins. I mean, I could go a laundry list and I just continue investing in myself because I'm like, I want to know what they know that I don't, clearly didn't know at the time so that I can make this thing not just work, but have longevity in it. And to thrive and to really touch people's lives in a way that they never feel the same after they come into my space. Uh, and so every one of you has that potential. It's, there's not, there's nothing so super special about Dr. Cheryl other than my grit, my tenacity, my persistence, my consistency. Those are the things that you, you can't beat me on that because I'm gonna always show up even when it's not happening as fast as I want it to, even when it looks like everybody else is win, win, win and bigger than me. And I'm, The little, you know, I'm at the bottom of the totem pole. That's okay. It's okay to be— at least I'm on the totem pole. It's okay to be at the bottom or feel like you're at the bottom. But I believe as you continue to do it again, God will open up the doors that are meant just for you, that have your name engraved on it, and nobody else is going to be able to take that opportunity because it's waiting for you. The opportunity to, to connect with you, Amberly, the opportunity to speak on Erica's stage, that was divinely orchestrated before you and I ever Met. It was already, it was already divinely orchestrated. So I believe in that. Uh, and I believe in the power of showing up, investing in myself, getting in proximity to people who are doing what I want to do. And this is a big one, learning from everyone. There is nobody that I feel like I cannot learn from. It doesn't matter if you're 50 steps ahead of me. Doesn't matter if you're my peer and we're at the same level, or it doesn't matter if you're— because you could be just starting. But you are a rising star and you know more than me about some things. So I'm always a student. Doesn't matter who's in the room. I'm always a student first. And then that makes me a better leader because I'm always willing to be a student. So be a student, give power to your story, stop diminishing it, stop saying you don't have a story because you do. Um, and then if you really wanna do it, show it. Don't just talk about it, be about it by investing in yourself in some type of training program that allows you to develop your speaking skills to a place where you are effective and ultimately unforgettable as a speaker.

Yeah. And that really helps develop your confidence too. Is there something that you do daily that helps you with your confidence? Or I'm sure just being on different stages all the time probably helps with that, but is there something, any practice that you do to build your confidence?

Mhm. Talk to myself.

Me too.

I literally talk to myself because— can I just be very, very raw? It doesn't matter how many stages I've spoken on, how big they are, or how much they've paid me. Every time I get the next stage, I'm still nervous.

Oh, me too. I'd be worried if I wasn't.

Right. Because now not only has there been an expectation created they're like, oh, Dr. Cheryl's gonna be here. Oh, she's a powerhouse. You gotta live up to that expectation, but also you gotta earn that check. So it is no longer just you speaking because it feels good. It's like, okay, yeah, part of it is you feel good and you're passionate about it, but you're also coming in, you are, you have been hired to do a specific job. And you want, I always want to not just meet the expectation. I really want to exceed the expectation. I never want a client to hire me and walk away feeling like, hmm, That wasn't what I thought it was going to be. Um, so that's, that's a level of pressure. And so for me, it's, there's always a level of a little anxiety, a little nervousness. Am I going to say the right thing? Is it, is, you know, am I, is my energy the way it needs to be? So I try to make sure that I don't try to bend to fit the audience, but rather I always just bring the authentic Cheryl into the experience and remind myself, they already knew what you were going to do because there's enough of you out on social media and on YouTube and whatever else. Where they see that you are not the typical, I'm going to read from the script speaker. That's not you. I'm not going to stand behind the podium. That's not me, right? So they, there's enough, uh, digital footprint for people to know what they can expect if they hire me as their speaker. And I'm not going to deviate from that. I don't care if it's NASA. I don't care if it's Capital One. I don't care who it is. I'm always going to be authentically Sheryl. And authentically Sheryl is, I'm funny. I think I'm funny. So I'm going to be my, my version of funny. I'm animated, right? Like, I'm, I'm a big personality on stage. Like, it's just, that's who you hired and that's who you're going to get. And I always bring that. So, so I talk to myself when I get that nervousness or that anxiety, like, Cheryl, come on now. Like, stop, stop. You were born for this. You have, not only were you born for, for this, but you have worked your butt off to get here. You have invested and continue to invest so that you stay here. Even 15 years later, you're still relevant in this industry because you keep putting in the work and you keep showing up and you keep taking risks and you keep saying yes, whether it's connected to a check or not. So you are constantly mastering and refining your skills even 15 years later. So don't you dare diminish what you're about to do on this stage.

Oh yeah. I let— see, could I feel like I could just like go on a walk and just have you in my ear, like talking?

The whole way. It's great. People say that. I'm like, I gotta make that happen at some point. 2026.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, also let me ask you something. When you get paid like a big fee, big speaker's fee, like it's like, I don't know about you, but I've, I've often gone, are you sure you really want to pay me this extra zero?

Did you mean to put this extra zero in here?

Do you find yourself, do you feel a little bit more pressured? When you get that extra zero?

Um, I find myself feeling happier. You know what it is? It's like a stamp of, like, I already know that I, I, I've, I come into every space already pre-stamped as approved by a higher being. So I don't need other people's validation or approval, but it is, I usually cry after I get a big check like that because it's making me emotional, Amberly, because of how far God has brought me. Like, I remember getting, you know, a $20 love offering to come and speak, or they put, or they put $45 of gift cards in a little envelope. I remember those days and saying, one day, 2 things are gonna happen.

Uh-huh.

One day, somebody's gonna value me enough to offer me that type of money. But secondly, whew, this is the big one. One day I'm going to value me enough to say that that's my speaker fee. So every time that happens, the big check happens, it's like, it's a confirmation of self, self-worth, self-belief, self-love. Yes, you are worthy. You've been doing this work for 15 years and you have given and given and given. And so when you are offered the opportunity to be compensated very, very well For what you give to the world, you better know that you deserve it. And so it's, it's a space of gratitude more than anything.

Cheryl, I had to get up because look, do you see this? It's a $25. I, I saved this gift card because it was given to me for a speaker's fee. And so see, I swear you and I are so much alike. I've saved this. It's in my office and it's over here. And when you said that, I had to get up and go get it to show you that, oh yeah, me too. But I save it. And yeah, I am, I am so, so grateful that I get to do that. You know, I'm so grateful we get to do what we love and we get to make a positive impact in people's lives. You do that for so many, including me.

Thank you.

And now you've written a book, and I know we only have a little bit of time. I want people to get to know you more. So y'all have to follow Cheryl on, uh, it's on Instagram. And then, um, how many books do you have? Is it 28 or 29?

Uh, so it's 28 total. Oh my God. Uh, 22 of those have been book anthologies that I've spearheaded. I've ushered 763 women into becoming authors.

That's amazing.

It's, you know what I mean? It's, it's the gratitude. Like, wow, God, you've allowed me to touch that many people's lives in that way. That's not, you know, the bulk of, of the lives, because I've been on many, many, many stages and touched thousands of lives. But just to know that I've helped usher 763 people through those 22 book projects into sharing their story, not just verbally but in writing, because You know, the books are the things that we pass down generation after generation. I mean, that's not going anywhere.

Hold that book up. That's your new book.

That's the new book. I just ordered mine.

I was hoping— yeah, I just ordered it and I was hoping it would be here in time, but I'll hold it up when our interview comes out.

Oh, that's awesome. Thank you for that support. That means so much.

Oh my goodness. Of course. Thank you for just being on the show. What inspired you to write your newest book?

Uh, you know, I ironically, so I, 22 of my books have been book anthologies. The other 6 have been solo book, book projects. But I've always, all of my other solo book projects have been tip books. Like, oh, 100 tips on how to command the stage. Um, you know, uh, 50, 50 tips on how to master your mindset. That always been tip books. And I was like, what's kind of time for me to write a chapter book? I'm, I'm gonna, you know, get my my big toe wet in this thing called writing a chapter book. But it really came from a space of hitting my 15-year speaker, speaker-versary, which was September 18th this year. It was, I can't believe it's been 15 years of speaking life into other people's possibilities and dreams. And I was like, okay, so what's the message that you really want to share after 15 years? You know, you're going into a new season. There are going to be new risks and new opportunities and new things that you're going to do. Like, for instance, I'm going to be doing my first documentary in 2026. I've never done that before. I'm so excited. I just had a meeting today with the full production team. I'm like, I'm nervous and excited and scared and anxious and all the things, but it makes me feel great inside. So, uh, so I'm like, well, what do you wanna say to people at this point, 15 years in? 'Cause now we're about to embark upon the next 15. And I just want people to understand that even when you feel like you are overlooked, counted out, you're the unlikely one to be on the stage or have the successful podcast or Write the books or whatever it is that you desire, even when other people think that you're unlikely, you can turn that into undeniable. And because that's the story of my life and my journey is that so many times I'm seen as the underdog. So many times people overlook me just because I, look, I don't have to be loud to be successful. I don't have to be a shark in the waters to be successful. I don't have to step on other people to get to where I want to be. And sometimes, you know, they say the nice guy, you know, finishes last. No, I don't. We don't finish last. We finish exactly when we're supposed to. We cross the finish line and then we move on to the next finish line. And I want more people to know that and to believe in that, that you don't have to become something that you aren't and that you don't want to be to succeed. You don't have to become what other people say you have to be. You get to be exactly divinely who God says you are. And you get to walk fully in your calling and the thing that you know that you are born to do, destined to do. And yes, other people might see you as unlikely. But guess what? Every time God will turn that into what's undeniable. And so it's really a self-reflection book more than anything. After each chapter, there are 15 chapters. It's an easy read. They're very brief chapters, but powerful. But then after each, there's 6 prompts, self-reflection prompts for you to reflect on you. Because it's great for me to tell you my story, but it's even better, even greater for you to start creating your own story and acknowledging what is it that you're staying stuck in. Because you're still assigning the title of unlikely to yourself. And how do you press through that so that you can get to the undeniable version of you? That's really the premise of the book.

Oh, I can't wait to read it. I can't wait. Oh my goodness. Well, where's the best place for people to grab your book and to learn how they can work with you or learn how they can book you for their stage?

Yeah, the book, just go right to Amazon. It'll, they'll ship it directly to you. I love, love the support. Thank you, Amberly. That means so much to me that you, got a copy of the book. Um, and then for those of you who are looking for a speaker, it is my first love. I always say I never, I never met a mic I didn't like that didn't like me back. So I am open for speaking engagements. I want to expand my reach in such a big way in this next 15 years of my journey and touch lives. And, you know, always people always say, well, are you, you know, you feel like you've touched enough lives? Heck no. There are 8.2 billion people on the planet. Have you touched billions of lives? Have you touched millions of lives? And my answer is no to both of those. Uh, maybe I've touched thousands of lives over my 15 years, but that means I still got a lot more work to do and a lot more lives to touch and impact. I love speaking on stage and really speaking life into people's possibilities and reminding them that they are enough, that they're worthy. So you can reach out to me directly. I'm on all social media platforms at Cheryl Empowers, from LinkedIn to Instagram. My YouTube channel is Cheryl Empowers. Anywhere on social media, you can find me at Cheryl Empowers. And then you can always reach out to me directly, cherylmpowers@gmail.com.

Oh, thank you so much. Y'all go grab her book, her latest book. Well, you can grab all of them if you want, but I can't wait to read the latest one. And I just thank you for this, for being here and for reminding us that, you know, our voice isn't something we use. It's something that we steward. And your work is a gift. You are a gift to this world. You are such a bright light. And you're a gift to leaders and women everywhere. And I can't wait to share the stage with you again. And I can't wait to see you again. And remember I told you the next event that I do where I'm going to have speakers, I said, I'm calling you first. It's like, I'm calling you first.

Wait, I'm excited. Just that thought is a beautiful thought. It speaks to sisterhood support and it speaks to Your light being so bright and shining so bright, and you not feeling like anybody else can dim your light. And I think when we— when I find sisters like that, it is so refreshing because there's so many people who feel like, well, if my light's bright, yours can't be bright at the same time. And that's just nonsense. There is enough for all of us. And if anything, when I'm next to Amberly and her light is shining bright, mine is going to shine even brighter and vice versa. So if we would learn that and do that more, um, that's just, it's, it's so powerful. We will grow so much stronger and more powerful together. And then you even made introductions, uh, to some individuals. Like you just took the, you were proactive. You took the initiative and you, you know, to pick up the phone and to make the connection. That's beautiful. Not just say, oh yeah, you need to know somebody, but no, the person is in my Rolodex. I know I'm aging myself, but in my Rolodex. So let me connect the two of you. Like, I really appreciate you for that. It is, again, it was beautiful and it touched my soul that you did that. So I can't wait to be on your stage and I can't wait to have you on my stage and do some things that I know we're going to do to impact the world in a bigger way.

Yeah. Well, you know what, when I, I love connecting good people with good people, you know, and so I will always shout your name. Your, I will shout your name off the rooftops because I just love you. I believe in you. I'm so excited for you. Congratulations on Your book, your documentary. I can't wait to see that too. That is incredible. I just appreciate you being here. And so the links, if you're out for a jog and you're listening to this or you're driving, all the links will be in the show notes so you can find her new book. Thank you again for being here. And you know what? If you are listening and you're like, Man, I feel a little nudge that knowing that you're meant to speak or that lead or share your story, don't ignore it today. What did you call it, Cheryl? You said your today list.

Not a to-do list, your today list.

Your today list. Go for it. So thank you for being here and you guys, I just appreciate you being here and listening. It's because of you that you have made This a top 1% podcast. So thank you. I know you could be doing anything and you're listening to the show. Um, and I appreciate you being here. And so also screenshot this if you're listening on Apple or you're looking at it on YouTube or wherever and tag us at, um, Cheryl, is it Dr. Cheryl? I follow you, but I stalk your account. But is it Dr. Cheryl or Cheryl Empowers?

Oh, my handle, my handle on Instagram is Cheryl Empowers.

Okay. Okay. So Cheryl Empowers, Amberly Lago Motivation, tag us. When I see that, I share it on my story too. Um, but thank you for being here. I love you, Dr. Cheryl.

I love you more and I'll keep stalking. I mean, following you as well.

Okay. I'll see y'all next week.