29 Nov 2023 · 44 min
In this episode of the True Grit and Grace podcast, host Amberly Lago promotes her upcoming Unstoppable Success Summit before introducing Wall Street Journal bestselling author and financial‑education expert Scott Donnell. The conversation centers on the systemic lack of money education in schools and the need for parents to fill that gap. Donnell distinguishes between "heritage" (multi‑generational value creation) and "inheritance" (a one‑time cash windfall that often dissipates), warning that traditional inheritance can foster entitlement and imposter syndrome. He introduces the concept of "healthy struggles," a set of about 90 structured challenges that build capability, confidence, and value‑creation skills in children. The core parenting strategy he advocates is teaching kids to create value—material, emotional, or spiritual—rather than simply giving them money. Donell explains GravyStack, a gamified home‑economy platform that operationalizes his "3 E" framework: Expectations (family roles performed without pay), Expenses (kids manage their own costs), and Extra Pay (gig‑based opportunities to earn). The app provides a real bank account, debit card, and automated allocation of earnings into save, spend, and share buckets, turning chores and projects into entrepreneurial experiences. They discuss practical ways to involve children in parental work, travel, and apprenticeships, emphasizing that quality time is defined by what parents do with their kids, not merely for them. Donnell also reframes money as a neutral tool, countering the common belief that money is evil, and highlights the psychological impact of scarcity mindsets. The episode concludes with an invitation to a free family‑legacy webinar, a promotional code (FAMILY23) for a free month of GravyStack, and reminders to check the show notes for resources. Key takeaways: (1) schools don’t teach money skills; parents must provide experiential learning, (2) heritage is built through value‑creation habits, not cash handouts, (3) healthy struggles develop confidence and capability, (4) GravyStack’s 3 E system offers a practical, gamified solution, (5) involving kids in real‑world activities strengthens relationships and financial competence, and (6) mindset shifts around money are essential for long‑term financial health.
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Hey there! I'm so excited to announce the Unstoppable Success Summit is back, y'all. We are going to be in Dallas April 19th and 20th, and I want to see you there. Don't miss out on this opportunity to gain valuable insights and make valuable connections and leave with actionable takeaways so you can implement all of these things into your career and level up your life and your business. I've got Ben Newman. Rachel Luna, John Gordon, Rudy Riksteens. I've got a panel of speakers that specialize on publishing, PR, branding, podcasting, and TED Talks. And so if you are ready to level up, if you're like, I've got a message to share and I really want to increase my influence, it's time to kick the limiting beliefs to the curb. It's time to move forward past your fear. It's time for you to invest In you to bet on yourself. So I want to see you in Dallas. It's my hometown and I'm going to make it, y'all. I'm planning some big stuff. Okay. It's going to be fun. My event planner keeps saying, Amberly, you need to reel it in. I'm like, no. And in Texas we say go big or go home. So go to go.amberlylago.com. That link will also be in the show notes to grab your early bird ticket. The early bird tickets will only last for a certain time and there are only 100 seats available. So these tickets will go fast. You're the first to know about it. I want to see you in Dallas. So hopefully I will see you there to hug your neck and let's be unstoppable together. Okay, now on to the show. Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience And empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hey, Amberly Lago here. Thank you for tuning in to True Grit and Grace. I have one of my amazing friends, Scott Donalds, with us. He is creating a legacy for his family and for so many families across Actually, globally, because of what you've created, Scott, you're amazing. He's a Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Value Creation Kid: The Healthy Struggles Your Children Need to Succeed. He has served over 6 million families. I think it might be more by now. He's the leading voice in helping parents teach their kids good money skills. He's also the host of the Smart Money Parenting A worldwide top podcast for families. He's also created Apex Leadership Company, which is now— oh my goodness, it has 600 employees and he served 10,000 schools, maybe more by now. He is— he also launched the world's first bank account for kids and teens that plays a game, like a game called Gravy Stack. And I am so excited, Scott, to have you on the show. I love talking with you. We've done an Instagram Live. We've shared the stage in an event. Thank you so much for being here to share your wisdom that I know is going to be life-changing for everyone who listens.
So excited to be here. Let's get into this. This is what I was born to do.
So it is. You're amazing. Seriously amazing.
We want to help 50 million families succeed and help kids, 50 million kids become financially competent because that is the number one thing That is missing in the education system. And kids are not learning money skills. You can't homework money, in fact, right? I was just speaking to an audience in San Diego a couple of days ago with Fleischman.
Oh, I love Dan.
He was there. David Meltzer, who's a great friend, he's invested in GravyStack, our app for kids. And I just asked the audience, I was like, raise your hand if you got financial training in school. Who got anything? Zero.
No, I mean, I wasn't even taught. They don't teach you how to balance a checkbook. They don't teach you about savings and sharing or any of the things that you teach. And I actually thought about you yesterday because my daughter who's 15, she goes, Mom, I really think you would like my teacher. She teaches my entrepreneurial class. And I'm like, Thank God they're offering a class on entrepreneurial journeys and what things can look like. But even with that, and they teach branding and stuff like, and marketing and that sort of thing, they still don't teach about money.
No, you can't. Here's the thing. You can't homework money. That's the problem. I advise NEFE and JumpStart and all these national regulatory bodies on how to create these personal finance courses for schools. You can't homework it. You have to do it. You have to apply it to the real world. You see, we've helped 6 million families. And here's the thing. Kids learn in 2 ways, fun and real-life experience. Those 2 things, when they're combined, is how a kid gets deep, long-term core memory and confidence for life and the capabilities to succeed. Because if it's fun, it's intrinsically motivating.
Yeah.
This is why kids will go 10 hours playing something fun or be obsessed over a certain topic because it's fun. And then when you add the real world, it's practical. It's real-life experience that gives them capabilities and confidence for the rest of their life. And money is the number one thing that you have to do in the real world, right? This is why allowance doesn't work.
Yes, I know you say that, and I don't actually give— well, my oldest daughter's in college. My youngest daughter, she doesn't get allowance. But there's a lot of questions I want to ask you because I need your help. As a parent.
Let's get into it. Let's get into it.
One of the things I love that you say is our— your family needs heritage, not an inheritance. And, and Scott, what is it that when you go to any financial advisor, okay, because we've gone and we've set up a family trust, the first thing they tell you to do is, well, you've got to set up an inheritance and how you want the money to be left for the kids. And you have said over and over and over that when you set up an inheritance, it usually doesn't get past the grandkids. Like, it's done. You've set up no heritage. You've basically just provided some money that's going to be run out by the time it gets to the grandkids. How do you establish setting up that heritage versus an inheritance?
Yeah, that's a great question. And this one shocks all the families because the whole financial world is built on how do you establish and create and secure and grow your wealth for future generations. Well, all of the studies show that the exact opposite result happens. 90% of generational wealth transfer is gone by the grandkids. But what people don't study is what happens underneath that number. Underneath that number, what you're doing is you're creating imposter syndrome. You're creating lottery ticket syndrome.
Oh, yeah, that's a real thing.
There's a trust— the trust fund kid is like the worst kid, and it creates guilt and fear and shame and kids constantly living under this, oh, I was just given everything and handed it to me on a platter, and this fear and this guilt and shame from it. And so, what happens is this is what causes divorces. This is what causes estrangement with children or just waiting for their parents to die. To get their stuff. That's the worst of all.
Oh, yeah. Can I just say that my oldest daughter, she's probably gonna kill me if she listens to this. But do you know when she was a little girl, she used to say, Mom, when you die, can I have all your stuff? Now, at the time when she was asking that, I didn't even have that much. But she actually— I don't know where that came from. But she said, when you die, can I have all your stuff? Like, What kid thinks about that? But that's what usually happens, right? It's wild.
And I think here's what's happening at the core. Kids are losing their value creation drive when you hand everything to them or provide everything to them. That's the biggest issue with future generations. So, value creation is actually the number one strategy and tool that we teach. We have 23 strategies and tools in our workshops and our programs for Gravy Stack. Number one thing that we've found with the best families in the world is that they teach their kids to create value first. In fact, it's not money. Money is a store of value, right? Money is the result of creating a certain type of value, material value. So, what the best families in the world do is they train their kids to create value. And this can be material values, emotional value, spiritual value. That's what we wrote in the book, right? Because it was the first and best strategy that we saw with all of the top families that we've been studying for a decade. They teach their kids to have a lens to look at the world, to say, how can I create value in this situation with this friend, with this opportunity on my team, with my family? How can I create value in my community, in my house? How do I help this job? This is the ticket to give kids rocket fuel for the future. And if you just hand everything to them and provide for them, never let them scrape their knee, and you give them all the opportunities you never had, because that's what parents do, is they're like, I made it, I'm making money, I'm doing well. I just want my kids to have all the things I never had. I want them to have all the opportunities I never had. I don't want them to have to deal with any of the problems I had to deal with coming up. But what made you you? Amberly, how did you become the Amberly of today? You went through—
I had to work my ass off.
That's it.
But okay, Scott, what, what, here's the thing. This is, I think, what a lot of parents struggle with is that, oh my gosh. Yeah. I started working when I was 8 years old. By the time I was 13, I had, I was employed by, like, had a real job. Before that, I was babysitting. That was my business and scrubbing toilets. By the time I was 13, I had a job teaching in a dance studio. By the time I was in high school, I had 4 jobs. And so I was just talking to my grandmother the other day, and she is probably one of the grittiest people I've ever met. She is almost 100 years old, still lives in a 2-story house that she climbs up and down the stairs every day, lives on a pecan grove. She picks up all the pecans. Shells them, gives them out to people. She's amazing. But I get a lot of advice from her, and I was like, yeah, you know, I think Ruby is gonna have to— my youngest daughter is gonna have to get a job because when she gets a car— and I want to ask you questions about that too, because I know you got a lot of advice— she's gotta like pay for her insurance, she's gotta pay for gas and this and that. She, she's gonna have to get a job. And my grandmother said, Oh, well, she's just in high school. She's gonna have to be an adult sooner or later. Just let her enjoy being in high school. She doesn't need a job. So there's all this conflicting advice and opinion because I did have to not only buy my own car, pay for the insurance, pay for the gas. Like, I was the last one of my friends to get a car because I had to pay for my own car. But it made me really appreciate what I have. So there's a part of me that's like, I don't want my daughter to have to struggle the way that I did and like was losing hair because I was working so many jobs and I was a straight-A student. But at the same time, I want her to have that value, to create value, and to have that appreciation for money. So what do you suggest for parents who are like, I don't want my kid to have to struggle the way that I did, but you want them to create value and learn the value, actually learn the value of the dollar, I guess I should say. Yeah. What do you suggest? Because I need help.
Yeah. No, there's so much we're going to unpack. And I think after we do this recording, for anyone listening, we're going to do a follow-up training, free training for everybody.
Yes. And we're going to give you all that information because Scott and I were like, We're going to have to do a follow-up because I could literally talk to you for hours. And so don't y'all worry, we'll have in the show notes.
Yep. And it comes down to healthy struggles. Okay? So a lot of parents say things like, I just want my kids to have all the things I didn't have. I don't want them to have to struggle. Right. But it comes down to healthy struggles, and we have about 90 of them in the book. That people can help their kids go through these processes. And this is not trauma. This isn't neglect or abuse or tough love. That's not what we like. This is healthy struggles that kids can go through— emotional skills, relational skills, practical skills, business skills. Any athlete or academic understands what we're talking about. These are healthy situations and processes and systems in the home that you can help your kids go through. To be able to learn capabilities. And then from those capabilities, they get confidence to create value in the world. That's our cycle. Healthy struggle equals capability equals confidence equals creating value. And that is the best parenting strategy in the world, by the way. Forget all the other things.
I mean, that is what— when you let your kids figure things out, it builds confidence.
Yes, it does. And it's deep confidence. It's not the pat on the back. You're great, you're smart, you're pretty confidence. It's the deep inner confidence that can only be gained by overcoming and learning and growing and gaining capabilities to succeed. That's the confidence that we want to give our kids. This is the antidote, Amberly, by the way. This is the antidote to entitled kids, to spoiled kids, to anxious and self-doubting kids. To lazy kids.
Okay. To lazy kids.
Yes. This is the system that fixes it. And so, you know, there's all these parenting strategies out there, and Lord bless them, there's all these child psychologists and therapists out there that have these brands, and they're talking about gentle parenting and free-range parenting and helicopter parenting. And there's so many, there's like dozens. And I said, forget all that. We're going to do this cycle because it's all about helping your kids overcome, grow, learn capabilities, create confidence, and then create value in the world. It's actually proactive parenting more than anything else. It's just having these systems in the home to help your kids thrive, and it actually connects you deeper to them instead of letting them— that's what some people say is like, I'm just going to let them sink or swim. Like, you figure everything out. You do everything.
No.
That's not the relationship that actually is gained from this model. This model allows parents to get out of all of those unhealthy behavior struggles and conflicts over chores and all of the negative cycles and arguments. When you put these systems in place, you're actually becoming much more of a coach, guide, mentor, like deep relationship with your kids. That's the goal.
I love that, Scott. And one of the things that I really respect and love that you say is what you do with your kids is way more important than what you do for them.
Yeah.
So that, and, and let me tell you, I'm, I'm guilty right now. I will admit I've been traveling, oh gosh, for months now. I've been back to back, like going every week to a different city for a speaking event. And there is the part of me that is like, oh, Gotta check out the gift shop and I need to get a surprise to bring back to Ruby because I've missed this time with her. And, and I'm guilty of that. So when I hear you say that, I'm like, ooh, guilty as charged. But I am trying my best to— and I say trying my best and doing my best, not trying, doing my best to— when I'm home with my family, to be where my feet are planted, to be with my family. And when I'm at work, I am all in at work. But there, I guess there's this part of me that's like, oh gosh, I just feel like if I bring her home a surprise, it's going to make it better for the time that I missed with her. But I know that all she wants really, and I will share, like I just got back from Vegas last week. And I brought her back some chocolates and all, all this stuff. She literally could care less about it. And all she wanted— I was, let me tell you, I was wrecked. I was like exhausted. And she's like, Mom, I want you to take me to the barn. And then we're gonna go to the saddlery. And we're gonna do this and that. And so I was like, okay, let's go. All she wanted was that time.
Yes.
And so that's what we did. But what would you suggest To parents, how can they get more involved with their children and doing things with their kids?
Yeah, let me say 2 things on this because there is a strategy for people that travel for work or away, and then I'll get into the doing things with instead of for. What I love is when you go on a trip, having your family be with you and backing you on that trip has so much power in it. Instead of this feeling of, oh, I got to go again. Oh, I'm prioritizing other things to my family. Right now, I'm in Chicago. I'm on a trip today and tomorrow. Well, what we did in our family is before we left yesterday with our 4 kiddos, we sat them down and we said, hey, guys, Daddy's going on this trip for Gravy Stack. To help other parents. And here's what we're going to review. Here's what we're going to do together. Here's why this adds value to the world. And here's how I would love for you guys to support me. Here's how I would love for you to be praying for me. I'm going to check in with you guys tomorrow night. We're going to recap what happened, and I want to know what you guys are doing in your days. And then when I get back, we're going to do these 3 things together. So now we've shifted the mindset. Now, instead of Because if you don't teach your kids what you do for work and how you add value in the world and how you're impacting other people, then they just think that you're going to do something that's more important than them.
Oh, Scott, that is so good. And my husband better be listening to this episode. No, seriously, I had to have a conversation with him because he would say things. And honey, if you are listening, I do love you. He would say things like, oh, Mom is leaving us again. And I'm like, you got to stop that. I'm not leaving you. I'm going to make an impact and I get to go share my message and tips and tools. And, and he has gotten better about that, but we had to have a conversation about it and it, it did, it made it better. But I love that you have added that you're going to pray about it.
Yep.
Because I'm big on the prayer. I mean, down on my knees praying. And I love that you list 3 things that you're going to do together when you get back. So it gives them something to look forward to.
Now there's anticipation. Now there's excitement. Now they want to check in on what Daddy did on his trip. Like, this is how you do things as a team. So now my kids are with me in this journey, and they have zero of this, like, oh, Daddy's just doing more work. He doesn't care about us. No, they know they're my priority. But they know that part of being a Donald is we add value everywhere we go. We leave things better. Daddy has a high calling. Daddy has so many other people that he's helping and has an impact. And so many people rely on our family. And so, we're leading other people. My kids are with me on this. In fact, we love—
That's awesome.
Do whatever you can to bring kids with you. Like, I am a huge fan of like apprenticeships, internships. Every Friday, you should have awesome rock stars coming to your dinner table and have your kids prepare questions for them to have a powerful conversation. Like, you should bring kids on trips with you. I'm doing this with my 7-year-old, Reagan. We're going to be going on a trip here in a little bit. She's going to be the one that's collecting note cards at the event for people that want to follow up on Gravy Stack and our workshops for families. That's her gig. That's her job. And she can't wait. Like, bringing your kids in. to what you're doing is the best way to transfer the knowledge and the skills and the values to the next generation. So, that's my quick tip because there's a lot of parents that say that. They're like, one spouse is really working hard, the other spouse is at home, and there can be all this conflict and frustration. And obviously, yes, I miss my kids when I'm gone, but there's this sense of which I'm bringing them into my experiences as I go.
I love that. And you know what? I one of my favorite videos actually, I just did a whole new reels on it. Is um, I took Ruby and my husband with me when I did my TED Talk, and the the excitement that Ruby had when she was on that TED it was a huge TED it was TEDx Berkeley, and it was their tenth anniversary, so it was a big deal. She got to stand on that infamous red circle. She got they put her. Front row center. I'm not kidding you. She got to be front row in the center. And I was like, I saw the video and she had her feet up on the stage. You know, so, but, and then I, when I have my mastermind, I always, when we do the, uh, not our big event, but our, our more intimate event at the house, and then I take them to dinner, I take Ruby with me. And so she gets to be around all these amazing, like, successful successful entrepreneurs. I want her to be exposed and be in it with me.
So good. Yeah, that's the thing is that's the part of doing with. So many parents say this, they say, I just want to— I work for the family. I make money for the family. I get my kids into the best schools and camps and churches and teams for them. All that matters is what's done with them. Okay? And we don't get to decide as parents quantity versus quality. We don't get to decide that. The children decide what's quantity and quality time. The Legos you make with your 5-year-old could be a deep, deep core memory that they take with them for the rest of their life. You don't get to decide. They decide. And so, that's why it's so critical about more of what's done with them than for them. And there's this quote out there, probably one of my favorite pieces of advice I ever got. If you can raise your kids right and then spoil your grandkids for fun.
Oh, I love that.
Or you can spoil your kids, and I guarantee you, you'll be raising your grandkids.
Oh.
So, this is why this is so important. You know what other thing people don't realize is 90% of the time we get with our kids happens before they're 18. Of all the time that we have in our life with our kids, on average, 90% of it is used by the time they're 18 and they leave the house. So, we have a window with our kids to really get this stuff right. And that's why there's such a need for what we're doing at GravyStack, because the families realize, yeah, they're not learning the right stuff in school, and we've been outsourcing our parenting to everybody else. We have to take this stuff under the roof, and we have to make sure our kids get the right stuff before they—
Yes. And you know what? I need you to explain exactly what GravyStack is. And I should have asked that before, I guess, because I already know about it, that I'm selfishly asking you questions for me. Sorry. Listeners, we're going to get to Gravy Stack right now. Can you just explain what is Gravy Stack and how people can connect with it to just improve and make a legacy for their children and their whole family?
Yeah. So Gravy Stack is the best way to pass on good money skills and values and traits to your kids. It's the world's best way times 10. It is the first bank for kids and teenagers and now college kids that plays like a game. So, it uses this fun and real-life experience together as one to teach kids all the money skills. And because kids don't have a motivation around money, most kids do not have any motivation to learn about money unless you put them in systems to learn with real money. Right? If you could play just games alone or do homework and then be financially ready for the rest of your life, that would mean that if we played Monopoly together, you and I would both become real estate tycoons. That's not how it works.
Right?
But with GravyStack, we've set up a system in the home where it's this automated process where kids are learning to create value, to do expectations, expenses, and extra pay in the home. So, they learn all about budgeting, how to earn, how to save, how to spend, how to share, how to invest, how to protect themselves safely online, how to borrow, or the issues of borrowing. This is what GravyStack automates, and it's a roadmap. It's 100 games they play that are real-life experiences and challenges in the app, and it's a real bank account with a debit card where every dollar they make through their gigs, which I'll explain in a second, they earn funds and it goes into their save and spend and share accounts. So they're learning how to split the money and they're watching the flow of money. Right? There's so many things that we've built in here because we've helped 6 million families now. Now we know how exactly a kid needs to learn about all these money skills and the stages of each to become financially competent, like truly financially competent. And the parents are secretly learning everything along the way too, because they didn't get it.
But, well, I love so much that you've added the share part of it because I think that's something That kids, including my own daughter, is not so great at. And we're trying to teach her the importance of sharing that. So how, how does that work in Gravy Stack? And is it possible for a child who's like, doesn't want to share, they're kind of stingy, that they can learn the value of sharing? Yeah.
Yeah. So, we have about 30 patents in this app already. We just reinvented banking. I mean, we—
Oh my gosh. Are you serious? Yes.
The flow of money. Kids have to see the flow of money because when you move from cash to the digital world, they no longer feel the pinch of spending. So, what happens is, and this is why allowance and then covering everything for your kids and paying for everything is such a nightmare. This is what's causing so much of the illiteracy out there. Kids have to feel the pinch of spending, and they have to feel the pain of earning. If you don't do those things, they're never going to learn about money.
Okay?
This is, again, why allowance is socialism. All right? It creates codependency.
I can't wait for my daughter to hear this episode, by the way.
So, let me go into this because this is where I get a little fired up. And we automated the home economy system to fix all of this in GravyStack. So, it's just as easy as allowance, but it actually teaches the kids value creation, covering expenses. They have a motivation to earn for the first time in their life. This is the point. So, allowance doesn't work for 3 reasons. Number one, it's codependency. You're just giving your kids money, right? Your kid does not need to learn how to spend your money. Okay? They need to learn how to earn their own money. And then spend it wisely. That's the first reason why allowance doesn't work. The second reason is some parents say, well, they do chores and I give them allowance. Okay, well, that's a salaried employee that half those chores you should never pay for. You should never pay your kids to do their role in the home, which is make your bed, clean your room, dishes, trash, do your homework, brush your teeth. Those are not things you should be paying for. And then the other half, you should be paying individually for the effort and results and value that they create. Okay.
Hey, like what? Tell me what.
Sweeping the garage, washing windows, make a meal, organize a closet, clean a bathroom, sweep the floors, yard work, plan the next family trip on a budget, cancel our unwanted subscriptions, coupons for the grocery store, flipping assets in the home that we no longer need online safely. Like, the list is endless.
Yeah. Massage for mom.
Yeah. So, here's what happens. Most parents, they do an allowance or they got a little smarter and they don't do allowance. But the worst is when parents say, well, I don't do an allowance. Well, now, how is your kid going to learn about money at all? You're like, my kids do chores because I tell them to. Well, congratulations, you have compliant children, but they don't learn anything about finances because now you're paying for everything and they're learning nothing about budgeting or planning ahead or delayed gratification or the trade-off of goods. the price of goods. They're not learning anything. And so now the bank of mom and dad is going to be open until they're 25, 35, or even 40 years old, and they're going to make a bunch of mistakes out in the world. So we said, okay, kids have to learn with real money in your home. How do we solve this problem? Because allowance doesn't do the work, doesn't do it right. So that's why we created the home economy. So with us, we have 3 E's: expectations, expenses, and extra pay. First, you set the expectations in the home that your kids are doing without pay. This is their role in your family. That's the make bed, clean room, start your day out the right way, homework first, dishes, trash, all those things they do as their— if they want to keep your last name, that's what's expected, right?
Yeah. Love that. If you want to be a Lago, you will do these things.
That's right. And that needs to be understood as a role in the family. Everyone has a role. We're a team. We work together, we help each other out. But here's where everyone goes wrong. Expenses. Parents buy everything for the kids. They use money as a form of coercion and bribery to resolve conflict and buy back love, right? Especially in co-parenting situations. Kids go to one—
Oh, especially in co-parenting.
That's right.
Believe me, I'm divorced, and my first daughter, Holy cow. Yes, you're so right.
Gravy stack is perhaps the best way to protect kids against spoiling and entitlement and anxiousness and laziness and victimhood, especially in co-parenting situations. So the expenses are so critical here because a kid will not have a motivation to earn if they don't have expenses that they're in charge of covering. That only 5% of kids pop out of the womb like, where am I making money today, Mom? Where am I making money, Dad? They have the entrepreneurial DNA. 95% of kids do not have the entrepreneurial DNA. In fact, those kids, 19 out of 20 kids says, I don't want to talk about money. It's the number one source of conflict in my home.
Yeah, there's a lot. And I love that you talk about that. I grew up, money is the root of all evil, and money was such a dark topic, you know, in our family. We— I grew up with like barely enough money a lot of times to even keep a roof over our head. And, uh, there were a lot of times where, you know, my mom was like, hey, you know what, we're not gonna get any Christmas presents this year. Uh, Santa isn't coming because we don't have money. There was the biggest fights in our family because my parents got divorced and my mom and dad fought constantly over child support and money. And I was the middle child and I was the one in the middle trying to be like the peacemaker between them.
Yeah.
And so I had to, to learn a lot about money and shift my whole mindset. Around money and decide, you know what, I do want to earn a lot of money because the more money that I make, the more people I can help. But yeah, there's so much. How do you shift somebody's perspective on that? Oh, you know what? I love one thing you say, Scott. Well, I love everything you say, but one thing especially. You say that people a lot of times say money's bad. evil, but it's not that. It's the love of money that is evil. Money's not evil. It's the love of money that is evil. So can you go more into that?
Yeah, actually, when money is seen as evil, it's the number one symptom of a poverty mindset. Okay? It's evil or it's going to be gone tomorrow. I can't— the pie won't get bigger. I have to spend it all right away because it could disappear, right? Like, there's some mindsets around when money's bad, right? When profit's bad, when making more money is bad, when money is scarce in my mindset, or I barely am scraping by, I got to use it all because it might just disappear tomorrow, or investing doesn't work. Like, these are— this is what happens when people see money as evil. I think this is one of the greatest, the greatest lies, especially in the Christian faith. Money is not evil. In fact, there are hundreds, maybe thousands of verses. We've done so many studies on this. There's so many verses about money that can be used for good. I actually teach money is not good or evil. Money is a tool, okay? And just like any idol, the love of money can rip you apart, right? If it's all you think about, if it's all your calendar is built around, and it's all you care about and value, it's going to become your idol and rip you apart as well as your family. Okay? It will dictate your value systems and how you think about your kids and their life and their future. Money is not good or bad. It's an incredible tool and it's a store of value, right? And so, what kids don't see in the home, they don't see ways to create value, to earn funds to cover their own expenses that gives them confidence and capability. That's the main thing that's missing in homes across America. And so, with this home economy system, let me explain this fully. So, we had our expectations, expenses, right? So, give your kids, starting at age 6, start giving them expenses. The toys, the trinkets, the games, the tech. Your kids should make the money for their first phone because they will treat that thing like gold. All right? Birthday presents for friends. They should be paying for those. How many times did you get the present, wrap the present, and they just chuck it on the table and don't care?
Yeah.
If they get the present and they help— you help them wrap it, and then they're going to bring it into the party and be like, open this right now. I want to see your face. That's a generous kid for life, right? So if they have expenses they're in charge of, and then when they get their car, it's gas, insurance, they should pay for half their car, match it, and then they have a motivation now to earn. And that's where the 3rd E comes in, which is the extra pay opportunities. All those gigs I mentioned. Right? Things in the kitchen, the garage, around the house, in the yard. We in GravyStack— this is why GravyStack is blowing up. It's an automated system. So, all these gigs that help the kids, like, learn to create value and make extra funds to cover their expenses, it's automated and it's repeating daily, weekly, monthly gigs, one-off gigs, brain gigs. You don't just give them work and gigs, you give them brain gigs because kids need to learn how to make money with their brain.
Yeah.
For you and me, our brain is our business. Kids need to see that at a young age. And schoolwork, that's an expected— getting your homework done first, doing your best, putting forth your best effort, getting great grades. But kids need to learn, like, hey, if you read this book or this podcast or this TED Talk or PragerU or article, don't eat sugar for a month. There's a reward at the end of this. Now the kids start to see their gigs as something super fun and it goes viral. Our kids love the gigs in GravyStack because once they make their money, there's a weekly payday on Sunday. They get the printout for the fridge. It's auto-repeating. So it's so easy for parents. It takes away all the conflict. And now on that fridge is all the gigs they can do every week to earn extra funds on top of their expectations. To cover their expenses. So, every dollar they make flows through the money machine. Part— a portion of it goes into save and invest automatically. A portion of it goes into share automatically. So, it takes the thinking out of it, and then the rest goes into their spend with their debit card to cover those expenses. Needs first, then wants. So, now you're watching flow of money. This is how you teach your kids budgeting. This is how you teach them goal setting. This is how you teach them to plan ahead. The trade-offs. I don't need the Air Jordans. I'm good with the Reeboks, right? The price of goods. All this happens with that one shift. And our results and transformations from families, thousands of families now are just like, this is the best thing we've ever done for our family. No more conflict over chores. We just had all the families are saying, Our kids have stopped asking for money and stuff. They're just— it's gone. We don't let them. They just go to the gigs list and they know exactly what they can do. And now they're self-motivated, right? And then my favorite thing was a dad just texted us. His name is Ainsley. He has 2 daughters, like 12 and 15, I think, or 14, 11. He said, my daughters literally went from arguing over who has to do chores to who gets to do gigs.
Wow.
That is a massive shift in the home because so much of the conflict and behavior issues and arguments and exhaustion cycles come from that specific stuff.
Yes, it does. And oh my gosh, like, I can't tell you how many times I've told my daughter to clean her fish aquarium. She's got 10 of them. I'm like, clean out your aquariums.
Yep.
I, this is so important. I mean, I'm getting this, my daughter involved with this because it's about time for her to buy a car soon.
Yep.
And so this is the most important time that she can do something like this. And I know we have just literally, I mean, I had like lists, pages, Of questions for you, and we've literally just scratched the surface. And so I'm really, really excited to share with y'all that Scott and I are going to be doing something really fun, really informative for you to help you and your family. So we're going to do a webinar together. Scott, will you please let them know about the webinar we're doing together? And just so you know, I will have the link for this in the show notes. So, you can make sure to join us if you really want to create legacy and learn more about how to help. I mean, just teach our children what to do. So, go ahead, Scott.
Yeah. So, we have GravyStack, which is the app. Everyone get on GravyStack if you're listening to this. So, just type, write down Family23, and then Amberly will put a link in the notes as well to click on to get the GravyStack app. If you have kids ages 6 and up all the way through college, use FAMILY23. FAMILY23. That's your code for a free month. Just get in there. It's like $7, but you get a free month. The average kid saves mom and dad $600 in the first month of playing this app. Okay? It's with canceling subscriptions and coupons and plan the next family trip and all the setup. It's unbelievable. So, there's your free bonus, but we will do a follow-up free training for everyone who listens to this and everyone in Amberly's audience to do a family legacy training. We'll give you our top tools and strategies that we use with all of our family workshops, our courses, how we help all these families. That's what we're going to talk about in our workshop webinar together. So, join that. I think we'll probably do it just a few weeks after the episode launches. So, we'll put that out. We'll set up a time and make sure you click that link because we will go through the top 3 critical strategies for success in your family. This is the antidote to spoiling and entitling. kids. This will fix it all. And no parent really gets trained in these things, and no one in the financial space knows how to teach it to kids. And it's one of the most critical things is passing these things off to our children in a way that sticks. And so, that's what we're going to do in our training. So, get the app now, right? Use the app now because we actually go over the app in the training, right? We talk about the app, we train in the app. So, get that free month going, download it right now. And then we'll see you guys in the free training to give you way more value. So that's what we're going to do.
Oh, thank you. I'm so excited about this. And you guys, all those links are in the show notes. Scott, you're amazing. I could seriously talk to you all day. Every time I get to talk to you, I'm just all fired up. So thank you. I'm so excited to do this webinar with you soon. And y'all, thank you. For tuning in again. All these links are in the show notes, or you can find them on my website at AmberlyLago.com. Make sure to check Scott out. His Instagram is also, and Gravy Stack is also, they're in the show notes so you can check out the resources. And don't forget to use FAMILY23 when you join Gravy Stack for your first month free. Scott, thank you so much for being here with us on True Grit and Grace.
My pleasure. Thanks for having me.
Oh, thank y'all for tuning in, and I will see you next week.
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