The Power of Intangible Habits for Success with Dr Karim Ellis

Hey there! I'm so excited to announce the Unstoppable Success Summit is back, y'all. We are going to be in Dallas April 19th and 20th, and I want to see you there. Don't miss out on this opportunity to gain valuable insights and make valuable connections and leave with actionable takeaways so you can implement all of these things into your career and level up your life and your business. I've got Ben Newman. Rachel Luna, John Gordon, Rudy Riksteens. I've got a panel of speakers that specialize on publishing, PR, branding, podcasting, and TED Talks. And so if you are ready to level up, if you're like, I've got a message to share and I really want to increase my influence, it's time to kick the limiting beliefs to the curb. It's time to move forward past your fear. It's time for you to invest In you to bet on yourself. So I want to see you in Dallas. It's my hometown and I'm going to make it, y'all. I'm planning some big stuff. Okay. It's going to be fun. My event planner keeps saying, Amberly, you need to reel it in. I'm like, no. And in Texas we say go big or go home. So go to go.amberlylago.com. That link will also be in the show notes to grab your early bird ticket. The early bird tickets will only last for a certain time and there are only 100 seats available. So these tickets will go fast. You're the first to know about it. I want to see you in Dallas. So hopefully I will see you there to hug your neck and let's be unstoppable together. Okay, now on to the show. Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience, and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hi, welcome to True Grit and Grace. I'm Amberly Lago. I'm so excited that you're joining us today. We're actually in my home and I have a very, very special guest, a good friend of mine, Dr. Kareem Ellis is in the house. We've been trying to make this happen. For a long time, y'all. He has got a bestselling book. He's the author of GPS My Success, a sought-after powerhouse speaker. And that's some of the things we've been talking about. And we're like, wait, we got to record. We got to do an episode. He's been speaking with over 20 years of experience. He speaks all over the world.

Mm-hmm.

He's been featured on NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox. The Washington Post, I believe. I mean, Yahoo Finance, Wall Street Select, Fox Network, and so much more. I mean, the list goes on and on and on. He's been mentored by Les Brown. He's a certified John Maxwell with John Maxwell. I mean, I can't say enough good things about you.

Thank you.

Thank you for being here. Thank you so much.

It's a privilege, a pleasure, and an honor because I've been trying to connect with you for over 2 years at this point in time. We just have been, 2 distant ships passing in the night. So, we have finally locked this thing down. So, I'm super excited about what's gonna take place and transpire today. I think there's gonna be a lot of transformation.

I know there is. Well, from the minute that you walked in the door and we started talking, we've been talking for over an hour.

I know.

And I was just like, I could talk to you all day. And I'm like, oh, wait a minute, we gotta save this for the show and share it with the audience. I have just been fascinated with your journey. I see how busy you are. So, thank you so much for driving out. To Heath, Texas, to come sit with me in my home and record this episode. You are honestly one of the best speakers I've ever seen, and I know that's why you're booked out solid. Thank you. But I've seen a lot of TED Talks.

Yeah.

Yours is on fire. Yours is like, y'all have to check— y'all have to check out his TED Talk. I mean, it's so good. You're such a great storyteller, but you share things in an impactful way. And so, when I started diving more into your content and everything, I learned that— and this is what we were talking about before we started recording— that we are set up, a lot of times, at a very young age to do what we are destined to do. And so, at a young age, there were a few things like, you were a talker. You loved to talk a lot.

Yeah.

And you had— Like this vision. People would call on you, like you could spot a stray dog 2 blocks away and be like, hey, we gotta jump the fence because that stray dog may come and get us.

Yes.

You know, and so you had a lot of these qualities. And do you feel like all of the things, like when you were younger, at that young of an age— oh, and by the way, super smart, like skipped a grade or 2 in school. Do you think these things really prepared you for what you were destined to become and all that you've done?

So that's a very, very good question. And I love the fact that you're asking me that. So before I even answer it, I'm gonna jump into one of my favorite movies of all time. It's got to be Disney's Lion King. Now I'm talking about the original one. Don't get me wrong, I love the Beyoncé version, but the original one still has my heart. And in that movie, there's a scene with a very young Simba and a very young Nala. And Simba's singing about how he can't wait to be king. He's jumping down the backs of giraffes. He's jumping off the backs of hippopotamuses and rhinoceroses, and he's being thrown around by monkeys. And the whole time I'm watching this whole musical dance play out, I'm thinking to myself, this is irony because he's already a king. He's just in seed form. And a lot of people don't realize the thing you're designed to be, you're already that thing. You're just in seed form. It is your acceptance of it that makes it come true quicker and faster.

Wow.

So when I think about our calling, what we've been put here to do, because I believe we've been put here intentionally, I believe that we are pregnant with purpose and our job is to give birth to that version of ourselves that's designed to change the world, we've already been prequalified for it. Most of us focus on education, and education is not bad. I don't think getting education in school is a bad thing at all. But typically a gift and talent is something we've been born with. That cheetah that runs 70 miles per hour didn't have to go to the higher education school of how to run fast. It was born with that gift of speed locked into its genetic DNA.

Mm-hmm.

It has to discover it and uncover it. So what I found from us from childhood is everything that I do now, I was already doing a version of it just as a kid. The ability to communicate exceptionally well, the ability to learn and master things very, very quickly. And the one gift I think that really goes unrecognized by a lot of people, which I think is my dominant gift, is the gift of creativity. I'm super creative. The idea of how to think about things in multiple different ways to get multiple different results. So I think that those things are given to us at an early age. We use those gifts and talents to walk into our calling when we get clear on what that calling is. So I absolutely agree with that. Absolutely.

Oh, yeah, I love that. And I love that you explain— I feel like we're a lot alike because I know, you know, my parents really wanted me to go to college.

Yeah.

I was an honor student, straight-A student. And I remember my mom was like, well, you're going to have to pay for college, so you better go get scholarships. In the back of my mind, I was like, the only scholarship that I wanted was at the Dance Center in Los Angeles. And I was like, I did apply for some scholarships and I had partial scholarships to UCLA.

Okay.

Packed up my bags and I was like, I am not going to UCLA. I am gonna go straight to that dance studio. And that's what I did.

Yeah.

And I knew I wanted to be a professional dancer. Never went to college. And that just wasn't for me. And I understand, like, my daughter's in college, but she wants to be— she's studying to be a doctor.

Sure.

And I'm super proud of her, especially she's in Yale. She's like the brains of the family.

Come on now.

But yeah, but I mean, I do think that there are some things. And when we got here, you were explaining to me, like, just giving me some clarity on why I do the things that I do. Like, everything that I was doing up till now is what has prepared me for what I do now. And I mean, you're such a great coach too.

Thank you.

Because you come in and You are talking to me about things. You're talking to our amazing videographer, Cole, who's helping us out today. And just like you have this natural gift of coaching.

Yeah.

And you speak to a lot of companies. In fact, that's why you were in Dallas. I'd like to say he flew out just for the True Grit and Grace show, but he's actually here speaking and we made it work to where he could come over. But you, you speak a lot on Leadership. And there's a lot of questions that I want to get to about leadership. But also, we have a huge audience that are people that want to learn how to speak. So I've got questions about that too.

Sure.

How did you get into speaking to corporate companies and speaking on stages all over the country about leadership?

So that's a really, really great question. When I started, because much like your journey, you looked at your journey. If you look at where you are now versus where you started, you would say there's no way in the world, like, there's no way I would imagine imagine doing what I'm doing right now. So when I first started my journey, it wasn't even about speaking to corporations. It was about teaching people how to make money in real estate. Like, I started out teaching people how to make money in real estate, how to flip houses, how to rehab houses. And so I got my start in the real estate arena.

And I didn't realize that.

Yeah, I still do real estate now. Yeah, we still, we still known to flip a mean house or two. We still can, you know, do what we do in real estate. But that's where the journey started at. And what ended up happening was I was editing that.

How many years you been?

So it's been 20 years. I've been in real estate for 20 years and speaking for 20 years. They run symbolic of each other because my mentor, and I strongly suggest this for everyone out there, get a mentor. That's the only shortcut I believe you have in life is a good mentor because it saves you time. Like, I see a lot of people trying to do it themselves and I go, you don't understand. You have a preallotted amount of time on this planet and you don't want to waste it by being stuck in the proverbial wilderness. When you supposed to be at your promised land making dreams and goals come true and hit results. So I had a mentor in real estate and she taught me the ropes of it, but she also used to put on these big conventions teaching real estate. And what ended up happening was I got out there to speak one time. I was a little bit nervous. I had all my content laid out on a PowerPoint. I went through all the higher points of how to make money, how to find the motivated sellers, how to flip the deal and bring the person in if you're going to wholesale it. And I finished 20 minutes early.

Wow.

And rather than walk off the platform 20 minutes early, I just kind of opened up for a Q&A. But before I did the Q&A, I started to just kind of ad-lib a little bit. And I started talking about my life, my journey, what I had gone through, the things I successfully been through, the setbacks and the challenges. And then when I finished that presentation, I had more people coming to me asking me about the last 20 minutes of the presentation versus the first 40 minutes of the presentation. So I believe the problem you're designed to solve is right under your nose, but you have to pay attention to what people are knocking on your door asking you to help them solve.

Yeah, it's so true. Yeah. I mean, that is so true. People ask me, well, how did I come up with my mastermind?

Yeah.

I literally had people asking me the same questions over and over and over and over. And I thought, well, why don't I just put together a mastermind and answer these questions, but save time because I'm doing it. I'm impacting more people than just one person at a time.

Yeah.

Yeah. So that's so true. How do you suggest— and I want to get back to that, but if somebody's like out there going, well, I don't know what's right underneath my nose, what do you say to that?

So I feel this. I feel that we have 2 things we should be looking at. Number one, our gift and talent, which is something we do naturally. We've been doing it all our life. Many times we're doing it and we're being paid for it via a paycheck, but don't understand the real values. If I could control that gift and talent, I can write my own paycheck. That's a side note for someone out there that's struggling financially. Get in control of the gift, right? But the second thing is, what is my expertise? And an expert is someone who knows more about a topic than 90% of the folks around them. And everybody has an expertise in more than one thing. The problem is we can't imagine being paid to perform in our expertise, right? So I want to get clear about my gift and talent. I want to get clear about my expertise.

Okay.

And if I'm not sure about those 2 things, what I want to do is I want to ask people that have known me for a while, What are some of the things I do that just blow your mind? Because it comes to me so naturally and so easily, and I want to pay attention to that. Because what will inevitably happen, I will get the same answers again and again and again in some form of symbolism, which kind of lets me know where my money point is at, where my, my, my je ne sais quoi, so to speak, is at, where folks are always saying, this is what the value is that you bring to the table that folks would actually pay you for if you can learn how to attach a figure to it.

Yeah.

So I would start there. I would start to poll the people around me and figure out what's the one thing that stands out about me. And for most folks, I'm gonna be honest with you, I think that happens in elementary school and high school. There's things you did at an early age that people still remember, say, Amberly, when you did this, it was mind-blowing. Like, it came to you so naturally. Yeah, I think it starts there.

And would you suggest not asking close family members?

Ooh, that's a tough one. That's a tough one.

Because your mom is always going to be like, yeah, oh honey, you're so good at everything.

So the quality of the question determines the quality of the result. So if I ask the question, I don't get the result I want, I want to go deeper into the question. It's almost like one of those crime shows, you know, where they have them sitting there and they have the one, the transparent window. And so they're watching and the detective's asking the question, but he keeps asking the same question in different forms. Because as you ask the question differently, then you get a different answer. So with close family and friends, I want to ask that question, but then rephrase it and rephrase it. to get to the meat and potatoes of what I really want to know. Because of course they love you. They don't want to tell you anything bad. If that was the case, we'd have people that would never go to audition for American Idol. You know, we get some of those people on there and we know they can't sing. I say, you didn't have one family member that said, don't, don't, don't fly out. Don't— you can't sing, baby. That's not your gift. Like, they let you go out there and embarrass yourself and embarrass the family. So with family, I want to ask it strategically to make sure I get to the meat and potatoes of it. Yeah.

Yeah. That's good. And it is so true. If you think back to when you're younger, I get the same thing I got way back then.

Yeah.

Is that I get now, is I'm a connector.

Yeah.

And I make people still feel like seen and heard no matter— and that's from an— and believe it or not, I remember one of my friends, you know, they were the popular girls, was like, look, Amberly, you can't be talking to everybody, especially the geeks and the this and that, like everybody in their little clique. And I was like, I'm going to be friends with everybody.

Yeah.

And she's like, well, then you can't be in our group. And I was like, okay.

Yeah.

So, a couple of days went by and she was like, well, I guess you're still going to just say hi to Norma Jean and this person and that person. I guess you can be friends with us. But a couple of days went by. But I've just always— in fact, you know what? I just spoke at this event in Las Vegas and this sweet lady comes up to me. She goes, Amberly, I was going to ask you to take a picture with me yesterday, but I just didn't feel worthy enough. And I said, worthy enough?

Yeah.

I was like, what do you mean? I was like, get over here and give me a hug right now. And we ended up exchanging phone numbers and emails. She did— she's the one who took video that I ended up posting on my Instagram today. It's like, you know, if you just talk to people and, you know, but sometimes I understand. But I think it is important to ask that question if you don't know.

Yeah.

Ask that question, even if it's family members. Ask the question. I love that. So when you were in the real estate and then you get up and you started sharing, and especially there, like the last 20 minutes.

Yeah.

You probably realized, I am such a good storyteller. That's what I loved about your TED Talk. You hit home on major points, which we're going to get into soon.

Okay.

But you told a story with it. And telling the story is what anchored it in. For me and for everybody that listens to it, I feel like. Was it at that point when you were in the real estate and you got up to speak that you're like, I kind of like this speaking?

And actually, it was the opposite of it. I was so focused on being dominant at speaking in the world of real estate that I wasn't paying attention to that. There's a GPS principle and philosophy I talk about, and I'm sure we'll get into a little bit later. We talk about recalculating.

Yeah.

Right? And the problem is when I put an address inside a GPS, I get focused on the destination. But then life always finds a way to throw a curveball. Or when I talk about Murphy's Law, say Murphy will knock on your door and give you something you didn't ask for. And in that moment, it's a pivotal moment because you got to decide, do I go back home and call it quits? Or do I journey on understanding there's always more than one way to get to the finish line? A GPS will always recalculate and reroute if you were dedicated to getting to the finish line. So I was still hell-bent on teaching people real estate. And then what happened was certain doors start to close. One of the major doors that started to close was that mentor who I was with at that time. We had a fallout.

Oh.

And that fallout— because I was speaking in front of real estate crowds when I was connected to that mentor, but when me and her had a fallout, that kind of closed that door temporarily. Then I realized I was more upset that I was no longer able to speak on certain platforms and stages than flipping houses. Then I realized that's what the passion was. See, if When you figure out your passion, one of the ways to figure it out is if it gets taken from you, you get upset like that toddler that has that toy taken away at a very early age. Like, I really want to play with that toy. And so having the toy taken away from me made me realize your passion is more about speaking, teaching, and helping people versus the flipping houses and teaching the skill set of it. So that was the defining moment for me.

Wow.

Now, I'm a strong believer in mentors. So I had another mentor enter the picture at that moment and say, well, Sometimes God will allow doors to close intentionally because you're playing in a smaller arena. In other words, your gift and talent is larger than the arena you're at. It's larger than the real estate world. And so that's what caused me to segue out, and that's what ended up getting me on corporate stages and platforms.

Wow.

Yeah, it started that way. So I would say that as encouragement for someone who feels like they're in a brick wall season where I'm stuck and I can't go forward. Sometimes God intentionally, not accidentally, allows things to line up that way. And still says, the address you put in your GPS, will you call it quits now because you can't move forward in this lane? Or will you allow me to reroute you, recalculate you, and put you onto your pathway? That's sort of similar to your journey with the dancing over into the speaking and all the stuff you do now. It's a rerouting.

Yeah, it is. And I think that, you know, some people can get stuck in that funk of it was all taken away from me and get into the victimhood and get bitter and angry and resentful. I really believe that there's— there can be good— there are bad things that can happen, but there can be good lessons learned.

I agree.

There can be good things that can come out of it. And sometimes I believe that things, like you said, a door closes. So God's going, wait a minute, you are called to do more.

Yeah.

This is okay. But no, there's more for you. So you're not listening.

Yeah.

I'm going to have to, like, You know, tap you on the shoulder a little bit. Oh, you're still not listening? Okay, I'm gonna throw an SUV into you.

I'm not supposed to laugh at that, but, but it makes sense. Here's the thing. I remember growing up and hearing George Bush talk about No Child Left Behind. And for me, what that meant is you could be dumb as a box of rocks. We're not gonna keep you in the 8th grade 5 times. We're gonna push you forward. I say, God doesn't work that way. God will let you sit in that test as long as he needs to, to make sure you are qualified prepared for the next stage of the journey.

Yeah.

So I think there's some tests that you'll stick there until you master the test. Because if I let you move on to calculus or trigonometry, but you don't know how to do fractions, you can't handle trigonometry and fractions. You can't handle calculus. So I think there's a learning stage. And for me, that real estate part of the journey where I was teaching real estate, that was the learning portion of it. And it also shaped character. You said something that was so important earlier. You talked about how a young lady was afraid to speak to you because she thought, oh my God, you're so big and so large. you know, you wouldn't give me the time of day. And that speaks volumes about your character. And for the arena that you're in, that character has to be present before you walk into the blessing. I see a lot of people where they don't have that character identified, and then they lose themselves in the journey. So you always want to make sure, I know who my character is and who I'm here to serve, that my platform is always larger than just me. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. And yeah, actually, at this last event, And I was talking to the event planner's wife, and she— it was her first time. He's put on several events, and it's her first time ever being at an event. So, she was very observant and observing all the other speakers and this and that. And she came up to me and she goes, you know, Amberly, I noticed that there are some speakers that are very supportive of the other speakers and of the audience and attendees. And everything. And she goes, I noticed a difference. And I said, because when I'm at a speaking event, I'm not there just— my favorite part is connecting with people.

Of course.

And the other speakers, not just the attendees, but the other speakers, everyone. And I'm there to serve and to help. And so every speaker that gets up, I am videoing them. I'm taking pictures of them. Now, I know they probably already have a media crew and they've got— the event planner has media there. But wouldn't it be great if I can just AirDrop them some videos and pictures? Because— so they can use right like this. They don't have to wait. They can use it for reels or whatever. So, I do that as much as I can for all the other speakers. And it was interesting that I saw her, she was picking up on— she noticed.

Yeah.

That— and then, I didn't know— I'll tell you something embarrassing. This is coming in. We were talking about my nickname before we started recording being Loudmouth. I didn't know that the event, the founder, the event planner, and the whole team was behind me. And I was sitting in the audience.

Sure.

And there was a speaker that said, got up and said something. And they said, well, get up and clap for the person next to you to show them how great they are. So I got up and I'm like, whoa, hey, whoa. And I'm doing this. And I turn around to get— and I'm like, I turn around and I see them. I'm like, oh.

Humble moment. Humble moment.

Oh yeah, I'm crazy up here into the— and, you know, but I love being a part of that. It's fun.

Yeah, you don't have an ego. And that's what I love so much about you. When I see all the footage of you and in conversation, there's a lot of people in this industry that have a huge platform. They have a huge tribe. They have a huge following. And they also have a huge ego. Now, what I've learned over the years, if you don't kill your ego, your ego will kill your opportunities. And there's a lot of folks out there I go, you're supposed to be farther than that if you could just get control of that ego and have that battle that's supposed to be had. So, yeah, you are exactly what you have been designed to be. Even when you said I was always a connector, all that comes into play with where you are right now. So it goes back to what we said earlier. You are the thing you're designed to be at an early age. It's just the embracement of it, embracing the fact that I'm already that thing. Well, I can see you connecting with people. I can see you being friends with everybody. I'm at this lunch table this day. I'm over here this day. I can see you being everywhere.

Thank you. I can see you doing the same.

Same thing, yes.

I can see you doing the same. And I appreciate you— well, thank you for your kind words. And I appreciate you giving the encouragement to the listeners about just like, you have to learn certain lessons. And your analogy or your— Comparing it to like, you gotta get through algebra before you can get through geometry, then trigonometry, and go on to calculus or what, you know?

Yeah.

And I know that there have been times I got— I was guilty of this in the beginning of like, well, I wanna be on that person's podcast, or I wanna do that.

Yeah.

And I know now I just gotta trust the process, put in the work. And know that when I learn everything that I need to learn and when the timing's right, what's meant for me will always be for me.

Yeah.

You know, that's hard sometimes, though.

It is hard. But think of the alternative. The alternative is if God gives me what I ask for and I'm unprepared for it, what I get and I'm unprepared for, I'll lose.

Yeah.

Right? Yeah. So, I wanna be clear that when I walk into it, I can actually maintain it, hold on to it, and service it. I remember back during the Clinton administration where they made no money down loans for everybody. And so, everybody, Because I've been doing real estate for a while, and I grew up in a real estate family. So I remember people who never paid their rent on time were like, I'm moving out and I'm getting a house. I go, how? You don't pay any bills on time. And Clinton did no money down, and so everybody became homeowners. Well—

Oh, what year was that?

That was— Clinton was in office in the '90s. So it was the early '90s where he did that. And so what ended up happening was you had a lot of people that became homeowners without the sacrifice. Right. Without the due diligence, the legwork, the habits. Let's be real, 90% of what you do is dictated by your habits. And so when we hit that foreclosure boom that came after that, it was because a lot of folks had acquired property, but they weren't qualified or ready for the benefit of being a homeowner.

Right.

Yeah. So I think a lot of things in life work that way. We can always ask for something, and I believe that God will give us our heart's desire as long as it's in alignment for the right things. But For me, God won't give me anything until he knows I'm 100% prepared to maintain it and hold on to it. Because I do believe that if you get something of value, the enemy's job is to take it from you, to make sure you can't hold on to it. Because whatever God gives to you is never just for you. When I look at an apple off an apple tree, I've never seen an apple tree grow this nice, delicious, juicy red apple, and under the weight of gravity and wind, the apple finally breaks free and hits the ground, and then the tree bends down and grabs the apple and takes a bite of it and says, mm, this tastes delicious. The fruit is for other folks that come past that's hungry, that needs nourishment, that's weary. And so I look at a lot of us in the influential spaces, our job is to produce this fruit, but the fruit is for folks that come past that need the nourishment. So right now there's someone listening to this powerful podcast that needs nourishment, needs encouragement. This fruit isn't for us. It's for those that are going to tune in and listen to say, this is what I needed to get me to the next leg of the journey.

Yeah.

So I think that we always have to be in a place, a space of understanding the reason why we're here. It's never about us. It will always be bigger than us. But we want to be clear That we give people access to the fruit that they need to make sure they can be sufficient enough. And the beautiful thing about fruit, inside every apple is additional seed. The reason why that's so important is a seed reproduces after its own kind. So when people tune in and listen to you, when you go speak on stages, you're reproducing your value systems and your thoughts and your processes inside of them. And so that's, to me, how you create a legacy. You take one seed, you plant one tree, which is you, and then you give out enough fruit that by the end of your lifespan, you've created an orchard based on your thoughts, your ideas, your patterns, your influence, and most importantly, the things you want to leave behind that's going to benefit others. So, yeah.

You know what I love? One of the things I love about you is you— I'm a very visual person, and you explain things with like snapshot pictures, or so I can grasp it and I won't forget it.

That's my particular speaking and teaching style.

Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate that. I think that's one of the reasons I loved your TED Talk. If y'all have not seen his TED Talk yet, I'm just— you gotta go check it out, okay? And you will take notes. And I forgot to say that at the very beginning. Go ahead and get out your notepads and pens right now.

Yeah, we're gonna do it in teaching mode, I feel.

Well, I would love to get into your GPS for success because look, we all want success.

Sure.

And the way that you explain this GPS for Success is like, gosh, that makes so much sense.

Yeah.

You are so creative.

Thank you.

So, before we get into that, how did you create this? Like, were you just on a walk one day and you thought about it? I mean, it's years. I know that it's years' worth of living and wisdom that you've poured into it. But it's It's so creative. And you have to be so creative when you're coming up with a TED Talk because it is like, you got to get right to the point.

Yeah, you do.

And you did.

Well, I appreciate that. It's kind of funny because in that group of folks from that TED Talk, what ended up happening is we all did the virtual by Zoom before the actual TED Talk. And so we're all listening to each other's talks. And before I know it, I got recruited into kind of coaching the other speakers. I was like, no, wait a minute.

I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised at all.

Yeah. So what ended up happening was when people asked me where GPS came from, I keep telling people that the quality question determines the quality results. You want to pay attention to the questions you get asked on a regular basis. And then I also tell people money is a reward for solving a problem. And I get a lot of people that get upset about their current lifestyle, the current amount of income the job is paying them. And I say, don't you dare get mad at that job. Because when a job decided to hire you, it wasn't anything personal. If they're paying you $20 an hour or $16 an hour or $12 an hour, it's nothing about you personally. They said that we have a $12 an hour problem we need to solve. So whether you signed up for that position or whether you release yourself and they bring someone else in, we only think the problem is worth $12 an hour. We're not paying more than $12 an hour. We're not paying more than $16 an hour. And so the dilemma for most folks is understanding what problem am I qualified to solve? Most people solve a problem and they settle. And I go, no, no, no, no, no. You got a gift, you got a talent, you got expertise. What are you qualified based on what you're sitting on right now? Because if I can understand what I'm qualified, then I'll solve a problem that has a bigger payday. So one of the problems that I decided to solve, because so many people kept coming to me, is how did you escape the 9 to 5 job? Like, how did you get out the 9 to 5? You have a debt-free lifestyle, assets paid off, you're traveling all over the world. Because I'll be upfront, there's no way I could do what I'm doing and still be working a 9 to 5. I wouldn't have enough PTO. Like, I would've been fired like a month ago. I'm like, you can't keep taking off and flying everywhere. And so I decided to say, how would I take this concept of the lifestyle that God has blessed me with and turn it into teachable format? And so then it segued over to what's the best analogy that everybody can grasp, everybody's familiar with. And so the idea was vision. And I believe a GPS is a vision machine.

Mm-hmm.

And so that's where GPS My Success came from. We know a GPS is useless till you first give it an address. And so we want to be clear about what type of lifestyle we have. We want to be clear about how much money we have in the bank. What does our fitness look like? What does our finances look like? What do our friendships and situations look like? What does our romantic life look like? And so there's so many addresses we can put inside the GPS, but it starts with knowing where we want to go. And so that's where it started off at. It started off with the philosophy and a teachable moment, which is GPSing our way literally to success, whether it's inside corporate America or outside corporate America.

That's so good. And it just made me Think. I remember at the event that I just spoke at a couple of days ago, Tim Grover. Do you know who Tim Grover is?

Yes.

Tim Grover was speaking and he was talking about like having a vision.

Yeah.

Like some of you don't have a vision. Where is your vision? Where do you want to go? He goes, would you get in your car?

Yeah.

And just go, I want to go somewhere.

Yeah.

Like, where do you want to go? Like, No, you get in your car and you have an exact location and you get there.

Yeah.

But I want to get into that. But before we get into that, you said something that's so important about you have to know what problem you solve and what's kind of the dollar sign on that. And I think that's important for people to know and to really be crystal clear on when they're selling a product. Yes. Yes. And, you know, just like for me, I just did this big launch and I was like, something's not right. And my ClickFunnels guy was like wanting to change it up. And I said, no, no, no, no. I said, I need to flip something. I need to flip a couple of things and let me try to show people that this is what it is.

Yeah.

But if you don't know exactly what it is, the problems, and it's It's not only that, if you can't communicate that—

That's true.

Then you're not going to make the dollars.

Yeah.

You know, and so it's so much about knowing, but also being able to communicate that in a way. And also having, if you can't do some copywriting yourself, having a damn good copywriting team that can. That's a whole other thing, you know, but I think I just wanted to go back to that because it's so important what you just said for people to really hone in on, okay, well, what problem is it? What do I solve? How can I scale it? And like you did and going into corporate.

Yeah. So I think this, again, I go back to what we talked about earlier, which is what I'm good at doing. Other folks around me know it. It's just the question of, do I know it? So am I talking to the right people? Or better yet, what are the responses? Like, I have a student I talked to the other day. He's in that dilemma. He wants to speak, but he's not sure about what to talk about. I go, what have you been posting on your social media for the last year or so? And out of certain topics you've talked about, which are the topics you talked about that got the biggest response? Because even though it wasn't really a teachable moment, if people were responding and liking that, that's giving you an idea of what people want out of you.

It's so true. Yeah, so true. And I think that's important to do that so you can— and people like, oh, I don't know. I don't know what to talk about. put it on social media. I'm like, start sharing what's on your heart or your passion or what you feel like is your purpose.

Yes.

And then that's, you know, how I started. I was sharing a lot of stuff and then I kind of was like, oh, well, this is what's hitting home for people. This is what people really want to learn about. And it's interesting. I was just sharing this with one of my mastermind members that it's not about having everything perfect.

True.

I said, the posts that I do that maybe my graphics designer makes for me, they're beautiful. They're perfect. They get the least amount of likes, comments, shares, because it looks just like this perfectly little edited graphic designed post. I mean, and they're nice.

Yeah.

It's the ones where I'm raw and real. Like, I was like, oh my gosh, I just And he just posted me like shaking like this, doing the plank, 'cause I was holding it for so long.

Oh, so how long was the plank?

Well, 8 minutes and 44 seconds.

Good Lord.

I didn't know how long I could hold it, but I was determined. Everybody else was in workout clothes and I was in my speaker getup. But I was like, I'm gonna go for it. And I was the last woman there.

Come on now.

Last woman planking. But I didn't win, but I was in the top 10.

Yeah.

Okay. But yeah.

Okay.

But those kind of videos, I shared that. It's like not even some fancy edited video. It's the raw, real, authentic videos that get more traction. And then that's what you see, what people gravitate towards. And then there you go. That's how you know what you're going to share on and do more of and maybe speak on. Yeah.

What I'll say is this. is people want to be able to relate with you. And the problem with being in an influential space, especially I see with a lot of folks in corporate, they're so hell-bent on making sure they look like they cross their T's and dot their I's.

Yeah.

They're absolutely perfect because they have that corporate mindset.

Yeah.

And I go, you may be very, very polished, but you're not relatable. They can't connect with you. We do business with people we know, we like, and we trust. And so how can I know, like, and trust you if I don't really know who you are? I can drop a lot of gems on social media all day long, but I still want my tribe to know who I am at the core because I want to be relatable. I don't want to be so polished or live a lifestyle that's so exceptionally well that I can't relate with people on a regular, everyday basis. So I think that when you crack that code of sharing intimate parts of you— and I'm not saying share everything, not everything is everybody's business— but if you can be vulnerable intentionally and let people know this is who I am at the core, Yeah. people can relate with you because they understand that you're no different than me. The other thing I've noticed is this, the greatest way to encourage somebody to say, hey, the only difference between myself and those out there is I just took initiative. So there's no difference between anyone else out there and myself. I'm not saying that I'm more successful than anybody because success is a mindset, right?

Yeah.

But when you're able to relate with people, you also encourage people because they start to think, man, if she can do all that and what she's been through, yeah, or he can do all that with all he's been through, then yeah, I can do the same exact thing. So it puts it back into the ground of reality where it's achievable. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, I could talk to you all day. Okay. I just had to go back to that because I love what you shared. But now, can you give us like a kind of a Cliff Notes version of your GPS for success? And because you've got a book, you've got your TED Talk about it, but it's so good. And I love the stories that you share.

Okay.

I won't give it away.

I gotcha.

But yes, could you please just break it down for us?

Gotcha.

Get out your pens and your pads because this is good, y'all. You're gonna wanna know these 5 things.

Yeah. So, it's simplistic. We chose 5 because 5 is the number for grace. And we're on the Grit and Grace podcast. 5 is the biblical number for grace. And at the same time, you didn't know that?

I missed that.

Yeah. 5 is the number. It's the biblical number for grace. Yeah. And I think we all need grace at some point in our journey.

Well, my TED Talk was 5.

Mm. I love it.

It was 5 parts.

Yeah.

Yep.

There you go. Yeah. So the first part we kind of covered, which is setting the address, because the GPS is useless till I know where I want to go. And the beautiful thing is when I put an address in the GPS, it keeps me focused. The problem with getting up every day, you don't know exactly what you're supposed to do. So you're wasting your time, you're wasting your resources by being everywhere and anywhere. And before I go into the second part, the other reason why setting the address is so important, it lets me understand the resources needed for the journey. And when I say resources, resources can be the people we connect with on a regular basis.

Yeah.

It can be the money that flows in. A lot of people get money every day, and don't know what to do with it because you don't have an address or a vision you're going after to attach it to. It can be the education, because if you want to be dominant, I'm a huge Napoleon Hill fan. He says you don't want general knowledge and education, you want specialized knowledge. So whatever arena you're going to crush it in, you want to master that specific knowledge. So if it's speaking, then I want to master speaking. If it's real estate, then I want to master real estate. But I don't want to be a jack of all trades and master of none. I want to be focused intently on where I want to go to. It can be relationships, because let's be honest, for a lot of folks, they don't— they're not clear about their vision. And so they get into relationships or situationships with people that shouldn't be in the journey.

Situationships.

Situationships. Yeah. That's where we don't know exactly what we are. We're here, but we don't know.

I did that for a long time, but until I got real clear on that GPS and I landed a good one.

Yeah. Yeah. You— well, I'm gonna leave situationships there. But what I will say is when I get clear about where I'm going, It lets me know what resources I need for the journey, but more importantly, what resources I don't need for the journey, what I need to release. Because a lot of people are holding on to stuff. And I say that baggage is slowing you down. You don't need that on your journey to get to your destination quicker and faster.

So good.

It's almost like if I'm driving someplace and I want to get there quicker and faster, I can jump in the car and go, or I can grab 5 people and I got to stop and drop all these folks off. I can't get there as fast as I want to get there. So based on where I'm going to, It makes it super selective over who gets inside the vehicle and who— you can't ride with me on this journey. Maybe next time. So number 1 is setting the address. Number 2 is moving with clarity over confusion. GPS gives crystal clear instructions, right? The instructions are designed to be so clear even the dumbest person can follow the instructions. Turn right, turn left, go straight, turn in 15 minutes, whatever have you. If I'm not moving in clarity and I operate in confusion, and a confused mind will never give me the results I want, it kind of goes back to the way we are programmed. We have the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. Conscious mind is our alert mind. It lets us know everything in real time. So I have on a blue suit, you have on a beautiful denim jacket. I see you holding a pen that looks like rose gold, which is one of my favorite colors of gold. We're sitting on a gray sofa that sinks in very nicely, and I've gotten really, really comfortable. I'm afraid it's going to sink all the way in, right? The conscious mind lets me know what's going on in real time, but the subconscious mind never sleeps. It never shuts down. It doesn't discriminate against the thoughts we get fed on a regular basis. And so the danger with that, that means that my subconscious mind is highly programmable. I talk to individuals and organizations about the power of commercials and how during the Super Bowl they spent like $5 million on basically a 1-minute commercial. And I go, they don't do that by accident. And they do it every year and the price tag keeps going up. Why? The goal is to keep putting that ad in front of you so it programs your mind. We make the best snack chip. We make the best vehicle if you want to buy a car.

Yeah.

We are the best banking institution. We're the best financial investment. And so if we know that the mind can be programmed that way, why are we not doing it for ourselves? So I want to be clear about whether I'm moving in clarity or moving in confusion. And the way to know that is what thoughts am I feeding myself? What affirmations am I giving myself on a regular basis that are going to get me there quicker and faster? The third principle in this is being connected or dealing with dead zones. And the reason why we say this is if I'm connected in the GPS format or GPS system, that means I have a strong Wi-Fi signal. That Wi-Fi signal has pinged onto a telephone tower. That telephone tower's pinged to that satellite in outer space. And as long as I have that trifecta connection going on, my GPS will take me anywhere I want to go. And so that means if I want to be connected to get to my finish line, I got to be connected to the right coaches, the right mentors, the right education, the right organizations. Because Jim Rohn says your life will mirror that of the 5 people you hang with the most. Most of us live a life by default instead of design. Default is where I hang with anything that comes along if we got one or two things in common. Design means I know where I'm headed to. So I'm specifically and intentionally connecting with people that's going to be assisting me on my journey, meaning I can learn from them, I can study from them. But most importantly, since we're visual creatures, it gives me a better insight as to what I'm supposed to have, because it's easy to do a thing if you know other people that's already doing it, right? So that's being connected. But the opposite of connected is a dead zone. We're familiar with dead zones. Dead zones are where you go—

Oh, yeah.

and you lose your signal. Some parking garages are like that. There's some spots in town where you go to the bottom of the hill, you lose your signal.

Oh, there's a spot right down the street here. I now just have accepted it. I'm in acceptance that it's a dead zone.

Yeah.

But I know I gotta get out of there, so.

That's true. Or better yet, since you know it's a dead zone, if you have a real important call like—

I go a mile around the other way. Around it.

There you go. There you go.

I do. I swear upon it.

Yeah, because you already know what's gonna happen if I do that.

I know exactly where that dead zone is.

So, I know I need to take the long way around.

I'll take the long way around, but at least I'll have reception.

I love it. I love it. Here's the problem. So many people don't even think about that. So many people walk into dead zones, and dead zones can be family. Dead zones can be friends. Let's be clear, just because we got the same last name, the same genetics, and we get together on Thanksgiving and holidays, that doesn't mean they got our best interests at heart. We got a lot of families that are dead zones where if I get around you, I lose my signal, I lose my way, I lose my concentration. And it's easy for me to be stuck in a pattern where I'm there longer than I need to be, knowing time is my most valuable resource. For some people, the job is a dead zone. Like, I knew when I came up with the idea of GPS, this job is my dead zone. I'm giving 40 hours a week to make somebody at the top office rich, and I'm barely struggling to get by. And if I'm spending so much time watering their dream seed, when can I water my own? Right? So I want to be clear about that as well. The lack of education can be a dead zone. So there's a lot of things out there that can be dead zones.

Yeah. And then what about, like, I can see distractions being a dead zone.

That's it as well. But what I did with distractions, I actually anchored distractions into the 4th principle, which I'm glad you jumped on that, which is about recalculating, right? We know that when I put an address in the GPS that I can get distracted. I can be looking the wrong way and miss my turn. The dead zone could cause me to miss my turn, or I can be driving along traffic, making a good steady tempo and pace, and all of a sudden there's a traffic jam up there. And so now I'm in a situation because I'm not going to make it to my destination. A lot of people run into traffic jams in life, and they turn around and go back home. Like, for a lot of folks that I've coached and mentored, 2020 was that big dead zone.

Oh, yeah.

2020 was that big traffic jam.

It was crazy because there were people— I'll never forget this. I remember I was still— I had a handful of clients that I'd had for like 20 years for fitness. And in one week, I had every single one of those I'm training on Zoom. I completely shifted everything.

Like that.

I'm like, oh, we can't meet in person? Here's the Zoom link. Meet me. We'll still work out.

Sure.

I met— I talked to several people who were just like, oh, I'm just going to wait till things get back to normal. I'm like, you can't wait. Like, you got to figure something else out. Like, right now. Like, you can't wait. You're very resilient. I feel like this GPS for success is also a very good way to be resilient.

It is.

In everything that you do, to level up and to be resilient, which is why I was like, I can't wait to have you on the show to talk about that because we talk so much about resilience.

Sure.

But yeah, that a lot of people don't think about other ways around. Or I just was on the way to the airport time before last. And I was on a call with a client, so I wasn't really paying attention to where the Uber driver was going.

Uh-oh.

And all of a sudden, we're completely stopped on the tollway, which you— people go like 90 miles an hour on the tollway. Completely stopped. My Uber driver, I was like, you are officially the best Uber driver in the world. He's like, oh, it looks like there's an overturned 18-wheeler, we're going to have to— it's complete. The freeway is completely shut down.

Yeah.

Without saying anything, he turns around, makes a U-turn on the freeway going the wrong way.

Oh, wow.

And gets on the exit.

Yeah.

He goes, I can't have you miss your flight. So went on. So I was like, talk about— I think he maybe heard your TED Talk.

He may have. But like, what was going through your mind when he turned around on the highway though?

I was like, yes! This guy is awesome. Way to go. Way to drive. Yeah. Yeah. We made it off. We didn't get head-on collision either. So it was all good.

That was my concern with the head-on collision. I'm picturing this riding around the meridian of the highway. But absolutely true. Resilience is a key element on recalculating. What happens with most people is they run into that traffic jam in life, and it could be my finances are shut off because I got fired from that job, or the relationship came to an abrupt end and I'm not sure how I'm going to move forward, or I had to relocate, or I've had a vehicle repossessed, or anything that life gives us. Murphy's Law says that which can go wrong will go wrong at that one inopportune moment in time.

Yeah.

So what I tell people, when Murphy knocks on your door and says, hello, here I am, you got an option. You can call it quits and go back home, or you can allow life to recalculate, meaning there's more than one way to get to the finish line. It may take you a little bit longer. You may burn through a little bit more resources. You may have to connect differently with some folks. Because I believe success is 50% what you know, 50% who you know and what they know about you.

Oh, that's so good.

Which is why you connect with people. Yeah, people don't connect for the right reasons. You better connect with people and introduce and let people know what you do exceptionally well. Because there are certain doors you don't have access to until you start making proper connections with people.

Yeah.

But yeah, I think everybody will be forced to recalculate. The goal is, will I recalculate voluntarily or will I waste valuable time by going back home and missing out on game-changing opportunities? And then the last piece of that puzzle would be to check the history log. And the reason why I say that is—

This is my favorite story. This is hilarious. You gotta tell this one.

I'm gonna tell it. So I got a buddy of mine who got caught cheating on his significant other. And I always ask the people I talk to, like, how do you think the guy got caught? And so I get all these answers. They go, well, You know, she got into the DMs and saw the racy messages. They saw a text message. He came home smelling like perfume and, and he had lipstick on the collar. And I go, no, that wasn't the case. I said, what ended up happening was my buddy had came home from work and told his significant other that the job he was at had mandatory overtime. And so for the next 3 months, he's going to be working on the weekends. He's going to be coming home late. And she didn't think anything of it. She's like, okay, babe, we can use the money, right?

Yeah. And so you go out there and make that money.

Make that money. We got some plans this year. And what ends up happening is she didn't work, he did. And so they had 2 vehicles that they shared. Depending on the workload, he would either take the SUV or he'd take the 4-door car. And so he was taking the SUV for about 30 days, and then he swaps up and takes the car. She, on the other hand, decided that she wanted to go to an old antique store, but she forgot the name of the place. And so she called up a bunch of her buddies in the hobby and said, you remember when I went to that place and I bought that painting? And they go, yeah, I remember. Do you remember the name of that place? They go, no, I can't remember the name of it. So she goes into the dresser drawer and she's looking for the receipt to see if the name's on the receipt. She can't find anything. She jumps on Google and tries to guess it through Google, can't figure it out. Then she has an epiphany moment. She goes, when I went to that place, I had the address inside the GPS. So she goes out to the car, she starts the engine, she pulls up the GPS, she accessed the history log because, you know, the history log keeps a running tally of all the addresses.

Oh, I've done it before. I've swiped And been like, okay, where did— where was that address? There.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, she did the same thing and she found the address to the place that she was trying to find, but she also found a bunch of other addresses in there that was unfamiliar to her. It was unfamiliar territory. So she found some addresses for some very nice, expensive restaurants and she's scratching her head thinking, I've never been here before. Why would these addresses be inside the GPS? She found some places that she would go on a nice date night and a couple of those popped up as well. She's thinking, Amberly, I can't recall why these will be in here because I know I've never been there before. And of course, for the listeners, if you haven't figured out by now, there was a couple of hotels that popped up in there as well, and she definitely hadn't gone to those institutions. So the reason why I cut the cap right there, right? And I landed on that note because I think that one of the biggest reasons why people don't achieve success with the GPS philosophy, I don't think it's because people don't set an address. I think most of us are well-versed. To wake up every day and be focused on a goal and dream, that goes in the GPS. I think most of us approach these goals and dreams with clarity over confusion. Most of the time we have a good idea of what we want so we can manage the resources when they get put in our pathway. I don't think people don't hit their goals and dreams because they don't know how to be properly connected. I think most of us know we need to connect with the right people, the right places, the right things. I know most of us are aware of our dead zones. We get stuck there too long, we don't see progress in our life. So we go, I got to shift, I got to move, I got to get that signal back and get back on track.

Yeah.

I don't think that most people don't hit their goals because they don't recalculate. If you want a thing bad enough, you'll find a way to get towards it. But the number one reason why a lot of people I've seen don't hit their benchmark of success, because they're guilty of cheating on their goals and dreams by chasing everybody else's agenda.

Wow.

What I ask people all the time, I say, if I was able to walk into your life and I asked you for your life's GPS, because I want to check the history log, I want to see what addresses have been in there on a routine basis. Are you guilty of cheating on your goals and dreams because every address is going to a destination that you didn't intend to go to. Most people are guilty of doing that right now. The beautiful thing is if I can look over my life and see all the addresses, it gives me an idea where my focus has been at. We know the phrase in the motivational world, where your focus goes, your energy flows.

Yeah.

So I want to make sure that my focus is based on the things I want to give energy to, not chasing everybody else's goals and dreams, because I want to get my reality birthed before my time is up while I'm on this planet. So that's the GPS philosophy in a nutshell. It's setting the address. It's clarity over confusion. It's being properly connected. Dodging dead zones, recalculating when needed, and most importantly, checking my history log on a regular basis because I don't want to be guilty of cheating on my goals and dreams by chasing everybody else's agenda.

Gosh, that's so good.

Thank you.

I love that. I'm telling you, I love that. It makes so much sense. And then at the same time, I'm like, oh yeah, I got to check my history log. Not because I'm doing anything.

Oh yeah, no, no, listen, I've seen the ring on your finger. I know you ain't doing nothing. That's a big rock on her hand right there.

Yeah, no, I got a good one, so I want to keep him around. And believe me, he puts up with a lot with me. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's put up with a lot. I mean, his nickname for me is Crazy, and I kind of like it. But, um, that's so, that's so amazing. We just have a few minutes left.

Sure.

And I could seriously talk to you all day because you're so— you're, you're such a great And so selfishly, I'm just like, yeah, keep coaching me. Keep coaching me. I love that. What else do you think I should do? But I do know that there are some people out there that want to know about, like, success habits.

Yes.

To be successful. So what are some things you would suggest or that somebody could do out there right now that's like, well, yeah, I want to, you know, I hear all you're saying, but what are some of the habits that I can do to create more success in my life?

Well, I think number one, I think it's habit. And what I mean by habit, scientists say it takes 21 days to create a habit. It takes 66 days to lock it in stone and 90 days to make it a lifestyle.

So that's what it is. It's 66 days to lock it into stone.

Yes.

Oh, because I just had somebody, my friend Rudy, suggest that I do this one exercise for 66 days. So that's why it locks it into stone.

It makes it reality. And the goal is for me to have certain habits on autopilot.

Oh, yeah.

So if I want to be successful, I want to understand what habits do I need to adopt and adapt and what habits do do I have right now that's actually slowing me down and keeping me from successful progress? The biggest problem I see with habits, most of us think about habits in the negative sense. So we think about the habits that are tangible. We think about someone has an alcohol habit or a drug abuse habit or violence, temper, things like that. And I go, really, for me, the habits that really dictate success are the intangible, the ones that are locked up inside of here. So I want to have the right mindset over my goals and dreams. I want to have certain activities I do every single day to get the results that I want. And for that—

I call that having smart feet.

Yeah, I like that.

Like, I don't even think about in the morning, one of my habits is my gut health regime and I don't even think about it. It's automatic. I drink and take my supplement first thing.

Yeah.

And, you know, down a bunch of water and I put my gym clothes on right away. Like, I don't even think about it. Like, of course I'm gonna work out.

Sure.

You know, those kind of things.

Yeah, so you have those habits locked in stone. They're on autopilot. You do it without even thinking about it, right? It's almost like driving a car.

But is that good to have those on autopilot, or should I do an inventory of that every once in a while?

Well, I always wanna do an inventory. And the reason why I wanna do an inventory, 'cause I'm always in a state of perpetual growth. And so, my habits may need to be adjusted based on the level of growth that I've accomplished.

Yeah.

You know, so when I think about it this way, you just gave me some of the habits you had on autopilot, which helps foster your— foster your growth and your success. It's almost like driving to a new job. I remember starting a job. This has been a long time. So I worked for somebody about 20-something years ago, right? And I remember my first day there, I didn't know how to get there. So I'm focusing intently on my turnoffs where I turn right at. I'm getting a little bit nervous. There's a lot of traffic. So you turn the radio down like it's going to make you a better driver.

Yeah.

And then after working there for about a week and a half, I knew the route by heart. So here I am driving to work, the music blasting.

Yeah.

I'm driving with my knee while drinking my coffee because I'm trying to put a seatbelt on. So I'm doing all these things. And the reason I can multitask in that level, because I'm on autopilot. I already know where to drive to. I know when to pick up speed, when to slow down, where the traffic bend is at. I even subconsciously know where that cop eye's out at so I can slow down without getting that speeding ticket. So I'm 100% on autopilot. The goal is for me to have that same level of autopilot when it comes to chasing my goals and dreams. So what are the things I'm going to need to have that just kind of take place on its own that's going to get me to my finish line quicker and faster. Now, for those folks struggling with that, this is why you want to hang around the right people, right? Jim Rohn's law comes into effect. Your success will mirror that of the 5 people you hang with the most.

Yeah.

If I'm around 5 successful people, there's certain habits that they have, and I'll pick up on those habits quicker and faster if I'm hanging with them on a regular basis.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So I want to be clear about that. So I want to have the formation of habits, but it's easier to do that by hanging around people that already have it.

Yeah, you know, I had years ago when my daughter, I think, gosh, I think she was in 3rd grade. She's gonna kill me for saying this, but hopefully she doesn't hear us downstairs. But she got called to the principal's office. And she goes, but Mama, I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't— I don't even remember what it was they did.

Sure.

I think it was a little boy that was was always getting in trouble doing crazy stuff. And she was very entertained by it. She thought it was hilarious. Well, she was hanging with that crowd. And no, she wasn't doing the certain things that they were doing. But because she was hanging out with them, she got called to the office. And I had to explain to her, I said, well, Ruby, if you're hanging around with them, before long, you will be doing the same things as them.

It's true.

And she didn't want to hear that. She got very She goes, no, I won't. But it's, it's true.

True.

And it really was even mind-opening for me being at this last event that I spoke at, because, I mean, I was speaking with Ed Mylett, who, I mean, I've shared the stage with him a few times, but Ben Newman, Tim Grover, I mean, there were big names and there were like very, very successful people there. The tickets For $20,000 just to go to that event. And so, you— as you can imagine, there were very—

The best of the best.

The best of the best were there.

Yeah.

And so, one of my friends was like, hey, we're all going to dinner. Do you wanna go to dinner with us? I was like, sure. And I go to dinner and I get to sit with these 12 highly, highly successful men. And I— it was so much fun. It was so— it was the most fun I'd had in a long time.

Yeah.

Listening, because they think big. And the way they think and the way they talk, it was just like I was just eating it up. And what I noticed too was something in me that, you know, it wasn't that long ago where we had $2.9 million worth of medical expenses. We had a lien on our house when we When I bought this house, I sat outside in the hammock with my daughter and just— I cried. Tears of gratitude came over me because I was like, wow, look at what I'm able to do for my family. You know, I've worked so hard and look at what I can do now. And so, if I can do it, anybody can do it.

Anybody can do it.

But what I noticed at this event and hanging around, because you're talking about hanging around the people with these habits, What I noticed at this dinner was they were ordering the most expensive thing.

Best of the best. They—

the waiter came over and said— and they had— we had our own private room back in the back. And they're like, what would you like? Any appetizers? And one of the guys said, oh, just bring us a bunch of shit. And I was like, Oh, wow. And they just come with like plate after plate. And I'm talking like—

Yeah, expensive lobster.

Lobsters and crab cakes and a plate full of oysters. I mean, I was like, wow, I don't usually eat like this. And I was like, oh my goodness. And at the end, one of the guys was like, No, my treat. I invited everybody to dinner. This is my treat. And I was like, wow.

Oh, yeah.

Mind blown. Like, it was inspiring. And he wasn't doing it in a way to like, boast of, look at all the money. It was not about that at all. But to me, it was, I wanna be hanging out with people like this that have They're not talking. They're not gossiping. They're talking about big ideas and big things. They are just so successful that they are like, bring us everything on the menu, you know? Not that I wanna do that all the time, but—

Sure.

It was like, wow, this is what's possible.

I agree with that.

Do you know what I mean?

I do. I'm glad you said that, 'cause while you're talking in real time, I'm getting a mental download. So I'm like, well, I call it a spiritual download. When I talk about that GPS system, if you lose your bars, you lose that signal, you can't get a download. So a lot of times I'm talking to people, I feel like God's giving me that download. Oh, we got signal. And so the download's coming. What's hitting my spirit right now is it's hard to be a thing if you can't see a thing. It's hard to be a thing if you can't see a thing. And so it's not for you to be in that circle, that environment, and watch all that take place without purpose. A lot of times I think God exposes us to certain realities to say, listen, I have this lined up for you, but it's hard for you to go after that if you can't see what you're going after. When you go into any gun range, right, you don't wildly just let off rounds. There's a target.

You have a video, I think it's on YouTube. Y'all got to follow him on YouTube. He's got like a YouTube Shorts and you're at the range. And I love going to the range, by the way, too.

Okay.

Yeah. But you've got the target. Go ahead. I just loved that video.

Well, thank you. You got— I had to sneak that camera in there because at first we're kind of like, you know, we don't want you in here filming stuff randomly. Did you get something goes wrong?

I did the same thing. And then my husband was like, Amberly, you maybe you shouldn't post this because you're gonna get canceled. Because, you know, in LA, you get canceled for everything.

Well, yeah, you're right. Yeah, you guys.

I posted it. Yeah.

You didn't get canceled. You still here.

I'm still here. I didn't get canceled, but I posted it.

But yeah. Yeah. What I will say is this, is when you go to a gun range, you're aiming at the target.

Right.

And the goal is to aim in such a way that you get better and better, that you can hit it bullseye every single time. I feel like God in his infinite wisdom will line us up around certain people. And this is super important because if I don't have my ego in check, what'll happen is I may enter into that space with jealousy, with animosity. I may be envious over what someone else has. Well, God doesn't do that, right? He's going to put me in an environment. If my character's right, he's showing me this not to be overly impressed by that person, But to say what I'm doing for them, I have intentions for doing for you, right? But I need you to raise your level of thinking.

That's the— my thinking. I was like, mind blown. Like, there's more to just planning tomorrow and the next year. Like, these people are planning 3, 5, 10 years ahead with strategy. So, it was mind-blowing. And I always I look at everything. Now, look, I'm human. There are times when I scroll through social media and I'm like, dang it, I want— I wish I would have booked that job. Why didn't they call me to do that event? You know what I mean?

Yeah.

But then I'm like, Amberly, stop. What's meant for me will be mine.

That's true.

You know?

Yeah.

And I look at other opportunities and things that people get and I go, well, you know what? If they can do it, But I'm inspired that, wow, maybe I can do it too. Do the same thing.

Yeah.

That's possible for me. You know, and I think that's how you have to look at things.

I agree.

As that person is inspiring you to take the next action, do the next thing so you too can be able to do some of those things.

Yeah. Now, what would've been messed up if you came out and said, man, I sat there and I watched these individuals of greatness discuss success and it was à la carte and they weren't worried about the prices of the lobster and all that stuff like that. And man, that was just wild. Like, most people come out of that situation and that's their mindset. That was just wild. I can't believe how much money they spent. Never once thinking that God has put me in this environment to understand that this will be me too, that I'll be able to go in and not have a budget or limitation. Let's be real, most people in that situation start thinking about the budget like, okay, this is— I'm adding up this and adding up this and adding up this.

Oh, they're having drinks.

Yeah, they're having more than one. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. $100 a bottle. Like, oh, it's getting hot. Most people enter into these types of situations with a preconceived limitation. I believe the God that I serve has no limitations. And so there's no limitations on God, and I'm built in the image and likeness of my Father in heaven. That means there's no limitations on me unless I put the limitation on me. So a lot of times I think we're invited into these situations and circumstances for a deeper reason than we think. We may be there to connect with individuals, but God is like, no, I have a whole nother reason. I want you to take the limitation off your thinking. I'm exposing you to an arena that you've not been exposed to yet or you're not comfortable yet. And I want you to take that barrier down because I got so much more planned for you. But again, it goes back to what we said earlier, you can't do trigonometry if you haven't processed how to work fractions. And this environment is mastering fractions so I can get to the calculus and get to the trigonometry. So absolutely. And in that type of environment, the connections are on a different level.

Oh yeah. I mean, and oh, I so much fun. Oh, it was awesome.

Yeah.

I just— we played this game where it was, you have 3 dice and you're gambling, basically. Not with a lot of money. I mean, I can imagine the heat, the tension might have been high if we were gambling with like $100 bills, but we were gambling with dollar bills. And it's just a fun thing to do as you go around. And it'll say left, right, center, or a dot. Dot, left, right, center. And you— yeah, I think that's it. Is that it, Cole? You were shaking your head. Yeah.

Yeah.

And you roll the dice and you start with $3. You roll the dice and you either, you know, pass your money if it's right to the right person. If it's dot, you get to keep it or the left or put it in the center. Yeah. And you go around until it ends up and it's— you start going, oh, I'm out. Oh, I'm back in. Oh, I'm out. And then whoever ends up with the last dollar gets—

The pot.

The pot. Oh my gosh, it was a blast. So it's fun. So yeah, it is so important. Proximity is power and it's so important. I feel like success is built on relationships.

It is.

And so that's why if you people have an opportunity, I can't stress enough, they're like worried sometimes about, oh, I just, I don't know if I can invest that on, you know, a $600 ticket to go to that event. It's investing in yourself to be around people that you can collaborate with, make connections with that you might have as lifelong friends to do business with. But it's getting in the right rooms to meet the right people. And you never know how one event can just change your life.

I agree. It's relationship capital. I tell people the most expensive capital in the world is not what's in your bank account. It's who you know, which is relationship capital. And you want to have enough currency that you can spend it freely. And a lot of people don't have a lot of relationship capital, which is why they can't spend freely on opportunities and things like that. So yeah, I agree with you 100%.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, oh my goodness. I had 3 pages of notes. I didn't really even look down other than to take more notes.

Well, that's a good thing.

And I think I'm going to have to have you back on sometime to talk about more of the speaking and give Sure. Because you're so seasoned in your career, is like your total legitness. There's a lot of people out there that go, oh, I'm a speaker. And I'm like, no, no, no, he's the real deal. But I want people to be able to grab your book, especially if they're like out for a run and they're like, I didn't take notes. I'm out for a run. Tell people the best way to get connected with you, to be able to book you as a speaker, to learn from you, because I know you do masterclasses I do. I do. And buy your book.

So what I'm going to do, I'm going to do something that's going to be really, really creative and odd, but I'm going to do it. I'm going to actually offer a copy of the book for free to listeners of your podcast. And so I'll explain how I'm going to do that in a second. But as far as, as far as booking goes, if they go to my website, kareemellis.com, all that information on there, if they want to reach out and book me, if they want to find clips, they can go to the YouTube channel, or if they just Google me, because I'm Googleable at this point everywhere. The goal always is to be Googleable. And the Googleable-ness— I'm trying to make a word up here— Googleable-ness is your receipts. Because you said something that was very key. You have a lot of folks out there that call themselves speakers, but there's no receipts of it. And we know in this day and age of social media that you can be creative, you can do smoke and mirrors.

But— I actually had that written in my notes, the part where you say there's smoke and mirrors and smoke can be blown away. Mirrors is just going to be a basic reflection of—

It shows what's already there.

Yeah. I actually had that written in my notes to talk to you about that because my husband actually says, there is more BS in your industry than anything I've ever seen. So I actually hired him on. He's retired and I hired him on as my BS detector. So he's my official BS detector.

I love it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because he's really good. I mean, he was a cop, so that's how he— Yeah.

So it goes back to what I said before, what you've been designed to do, you've been doing all your life. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that would be a great BS detector. But yeah, in this day and age, you have a lot of people that put that speaker moniker back there and they go, so receipts, what are the receipts of your journey? Can I see where you've been out there in the industry and made that impact? Because there should be a paper trail, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, so absolutely. So if they want to connect with me, KareemEllis.com is the quickest way. I know we got a lot of professional folks out there, so I'm on LinkedIn, I'm on YouTube, I'm on Instagram. Obviously I'm on every channel you can think of. But as far as the book goes, I do want to honor your tribe at this point by giving them a free copy of GPS My Success. The easiest way they can do it is if they go to my Instagram, go to Kareem Ellis 2.0, and just send me a DM saying, I heard you on the True Grit and Grace podcast. My team will give them a free digital download copy. The thing being is I'm only going to, based on when this airs, we're only going to do that for about 72 hours.

Yeah.

So when opportunity presents itself, your job is to move. But we'll give them a free digital copy. If they want a hard copy, then go to amazon.com. It's on Amazon.

Okay. Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

This should be out in about 5 weeks.

5 weeks?

About 5 weeks. I'll let you know. I'll let you know. I'll make sure you have— and my team makes assets and all that good stuff for you to have in case you want to use it for anything.

Oh, we're going to blast it out. We're going to definitely blast it out. That means they got 5 weeks and 72 hours to make a decision.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, this has been just such a joy getting to finally, after all this time. So we did a virtual event together.

We did. It was 2 years ago.

Was it 2 or 3?

No, it was 2. Was it 2?

It was 2.

It was 2. I mean, about 2 and a half at this point. Yeah.

And yeah, really hit it off. And it's taken us this long to finally get to meet in person. And I just, I just love all you shared.

Thank you.

And love the person that you are and all that you do in the world. Thank you for being here.

I appreciate it.

And thank y'all for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. Go ahead and take a screenshot, whether it's you're listening to Apple, Spotify, or you're watching on YouTube, whatever platform. If you take a screenshot and tag me @AmberlyLagoMotivation and tag Kareem @Kareem Ellis. Is it cream.ellis.2.0 or just Kareem Ellis?

Kareem Ellis.2.0. Yeah, we had to— well, I'm sorry, Kareem Ellis. It's just Kareem Ellis 2.0. I got hacked. They hacked my Instagram so we had to do the Kareem Ellis 2.0. So Kareem Ellis 2.0.

Okay. Yeah, you got hacked on Instagram. I'm still hacked on the Facebook business page. We're trying to work that out, but it happens, right?

It does.

Yeah, tag us. When I see that, it means a lot to me and I share it on my story. So thank you for tuning in and make Make sure you are subscribed to the show so you don't miss next week's episode. Okay, thanks, and thank you.

Thank you as well.