Upgrade Your Unconscious Mind with Tim Shurr

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hey there, welcome back to True Grit and Grace. I am really excited today because I have one of my friends here. His name's Tim sure. And when we get to talking, we could— I feel like we could just talk all day because his brain amazes me. His wisdom amazes me. His kindness does. But let me tell you a little bit about him. He's considered by many to be the world's best hypnotist and foremost expert on freeing people from anxiety, past trauma, PTSD, and bad habits, which I really have got a lot of fear coming up lately. So I selfishly can't wait to ask so many questions. He's the creator of the revolutionary One Belief Away method, which we're gonna get into. And he developed this through facilit— facilitating over 15,000 individual hypnosis coaching sessions and hundreds of group training experiences over the last 34 years. He is an award-winning leadership speaker. He helps corporate clients, um, and not only helps them with their mindset, but earns to help them earn millions in annual revenue. By upgrading self-limiting unconscious programming from the past, which instantly ignites focus, confidence, productivity, and collaboration in individuals and teams. He is the author of 6 books, y'all. His books are amazing. He's got a podcast called How to Be Mesmerizing. It's the How to Be Mesmerizing podcast. He's been featured On TV. I mean, you name it. Uh, goodness, ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox. And his TEDx is one of the best TED Talks I've ever seen. I've watched it several times. It will just shift your perspective in the way you think immediately. So I highly, highly encourage you to go listen to his TED Talk, listen to his podcast, and grab his books and courses, which we'll get into a little bit. So Tim, Thank you so much for being here and welcome to True Grit and Grace.

Well, thank you, Amberly. I really appreciate it. It's always exciting to hang out with you, and I'm really excited about the conversation that we're going to have so that we can give your wonderful audience some real golden nuggets that they can use immediately to start living their best life now.

Yeah, well, I would love to. I can't wait to get into how we can live our best life now, because I think there is— especially if you watch the news. I try not to watch the news. But every time I have watched it, it's so much fear and that people, you know, the news is putting into us about whether it's health scare, whether it's don't get on a plane, whether it's don't spend your money. It's like we're having a recession. So I want to get into that, but I really want to share a little bit about how you even got into hypnosis and how at a young age you had to really retrain your brain. Because you had an experience that happened with your father. Can, can you share a little bit about that? So we kind of know how you got started. And then I can't wait to ask you so many questions.

Sure. So we all have what I call big T and little t traumas, right, where that we go through. And this was a big T trauma for me. So I was 12 years old, and I was at home and the phone rang and I answered it. And I was like, hello. And This woman was frantic on the other end of the line, and she's like, honey, find your mom. There's been an accident. Well, you never want to hear that when your dad works at a steel mill. And, uh, and so my dad worked at, um, a steel mill in northern Indiana. And, um, while he was working on this great big electrical panel, he was an electrician. Uh, and his buddy Bill, he was in there with the screwdriver. His buddy Bill was in there with the flashlight, and the box wasn't tagged properly. So while they were working on this big giant unit, someone turned it on and boom, it exploded. It caught my dad on fire and Bill and third-degree burns. And, and, you know, we didn't think he was going to make it. He spent months in the Loyola burn unit. And, you know, going there as a little kid and visiting your dad in a burn unit and hearing people screaming, and I mean, it's just hellish. And so the good news is that he made it. Even though he was full of scars on the outside, my family had a bunch of scars on the inside.

I bet.

And when you go through traumatic experiences, any of them, your mind unconsciously, without our awareness, starts making meaning out of it. It starts coming up with beliefs, ideas of what it thinks it means. And so because our brain is always trying to keep us safe, it likes to avoid pain. And one of the strange ways that it tries to avoid pain is by causing us to be afraid of everything so that we don't get hurt and feel that pain. And so it's a protection mechanism that backfires, and it's like trying to help us avoid pain by doing things that cause pain. So my brain formed a belief in my mind that I'm not safe, that the rug can be yanked out from underneath me at any moment, and I won't be able to do anything about it. And so The side effect is like, so now I have anxiety and anxiety is this impending fear that something bad's going to happen and I'm not going to be able to take care of myself or avoid being hurt. And so I stopped playing life to win and I started playing not to lose. And when you play life not to lose, even when you're winning, you feel like you're not. And so when I was 18, I went to school for psychology because I heard that's where you figure yourself out. And my second year of college, learning about human behavior, they had guest speakers coming in and one of them happened to be a hypnotist. Now, I didn't know anything about hypnosis except that people make you cluck like a chicken because that's what everybody thinks.

Yeah.

And so, but they asked for a volunteer. I raised my hand thinking I'll be the class clown. And, uh, he said, in a few minutes you're gonna feel really relaxed and then you're gonna just feel amazing. And within a few minutes, that's exactly what happened. Amberly, it was, it was shocking. It was one of those pivotal, pivotal moments. It was the first time in my life, you know, I could hear everything and I knew what was going on, and I could even hear the other students giggling, but I did not care. I felt this sense of peace come over me, and that knot in my stomach that I always carried around, it just disappeared for a little while.

Wow.

Now, it came back, you know, that whole week I was so confident and so peaceful, and it was like a whole new way of living life. But then eventually, you know, the anxiety came back because I was good at doing anxiety. I didn't know that unconscious beliefs were driving it, and I didn't know that I was causing a lot of my own fear and suffering by how I was using my mind. And so it took years of figuring the rest out, but I got hooked on the hypnosis. I'm like, what is this? And so I've started, you know, going to trainings and then get certifications, and then that opened the doors to all these other peak performance fields. And then anybody that said, I got this technique and it'll help you get rid of your anxiety, I went full force into it with the attitude of prove it. I've heard so much stuff. Let's see if it actually works. And I've been doing that now. You know, I've been studying human behavior for 35 years and, you know, it's brought every experience I've ever had has brought me to this moment right here and now to have this conversation with you.

Well, I mean, I thank you for sharing that. And that gives me, and I'm sure so many of the listeners, hope that they can let go of anxiety, that that knot in their stomach can disappear. And sometimes we don't even realize that we're holding on to this. I just wanted to share with you, I just recently had going to a new doctor and who thinks he can help with complex regional pain syndrome. And anyway, they took like 15 vials of blood, I had to spit in test tubes. I never want to have to spit and do that much spit in test tubes again. But it was very interesting that, you know, your body does keep the score. And the doctor came back with the results. And he said, well, you are very resilient. You wake up and you're ready to face the day. He goes, what happens to you throughout the day? That all of a sudden your adrenals start to become fatigued. You start releasing a lot of cortisol, and at night your cortisol levels are just really, really, really high. This is way like 300% more than what they should be. He said, I see this in a lot of peak performers, a lot of overachievers, that they work, work, work, work, work. And it's crazy because your body, you might feel it. You stressed, but your actual hormones, everything are affected. My thyroid isn't working properly. He said my adrenals are fatigued. And I'm like, okay, I need to get a grip on this. He's like, this is a lifestyle change for you. You need to do breathing, yoga. And you know what my solution was? I was like, well, I go to the gym and I work out really, really hard. And that is what really helps kind of relieve some of that anxiety. He goes, well, I'm glad you're working out, but that actually That's a stressor on your body, and that's going to make your adrenals fire up. And I think so often, Tim, that when adversity comes or our life, our to-do list is, you know, really long and all the things we have to do, anxiety can kick in and we get into that mode of fight or flight. What would you do, or what would you say to someone? who has anxiety, and they're just like, please help me feel that serenity, get some peace back in my life. What's the first thing you would tell them to do?

Well, that's a brilliant question. And here I had the same question, because as I was going through psychology, and I was starting to work with people, and then using hypnosis, I would find that people would feel good for a few days, for a week, sometimes 2 weeks, And then all it would come back, right? And it kept happening over and over. And so I'm like, what is going on? And after years and decades of doing all these sessions with all kinds of people, what I found is that those deep unconscious beliefs that we have are so deep in our mind that we never actually get to the root of them. So what we do through positive thinking and through yoga and through all the other acts and self-help strategies that we apply, it's like we're just cutting the top off the weed.

Yeah.

And so it grows back and it keeps growing back. And so, you know, we throw dirt over it to try to cover it up, but it just grows through the dirt and it just, you know, I can't believe I'm at this place again. I thought I resolved this already and now here I am again. And so what I've developed with this One Belief Away method, because I believe, you know, you're just one belief away from having a huge breakthrough. Is you go to the core belief and you pull it out at the root. And so you go from, I'm not safe, to I am safe. I'm not loved, to I am more than loved and I love me. Um, I'm not good enough, which is the one that's at the core for everybody.

Mm-hmm.

I'm not enough is what roots all the other fears of rejection and abandonment and, you know, being humiliated and doing the wrong thing and you know, not being smart enough or whatever it may be. It comes from that deep core fear that I'm not enough. Because I'm not enough, I won't be worthy of love. And so, you know, and then if we don't feel loved, I mean, that's just the worst. So our safety comes in with that. And so what you do is you start to upgrade those beliefs and you start to give yourself a new Kind of a new model of who I am, you know, of who you are. And so it becomes your new identity because when you feel safe, when you feel loved, when you're not chasing validation because you're giving it to yourself, it changes the very information that your brain pays attention to every single day, which changes the story you're telling yourself. We are both the narrator and the hero of our own movie. And every day we're narrating every moment of every day. And that story begins to change because what's driving it are a new set of beliefs that make you feel safe and loved and more than enough. And so that is at the core of it. That is what gets rid of the anxiety, because anxiety is like having a fire alarm that keeps going off even when there's no fire.

Mhmm.

And so this is a way of being able to reset it in a way that lasts. And I haven't found any technique that works more effectively Than upgrading those core beliefs.

Wow. Most of my clients have been in it for 20 years. Your analogies are so great. Like, I just talking about cutting the weed off at the top and the roots still, and it grows through the dirt. And it's like, yeah, the dirt that people put on the weed could sometimes be like addiction, drinking to try to numb out the pain or the anxiety. Or overspending, overdating, whatever it is to distract, but it's always down there. And I love that you say that so much of it comes from this one core belief of I'm not enough. So how do you, if somebody is, they, that belief is there, do you just start switching the words? Um, when you have that belief come up, switching it to something positive, how do you get down to the root? Of it.

Yeah. So with my technique, what I do is I'll get someone into a relaxed, peaceful state of mind, which is really what hypnosis is, just getting them relaxed and then focusing in on, on something. And so we'll get 'em relaxed and we'll just have their mind take 'em back to the moment when their deepest fear was created or formed. And almost always someone goes back to when they were 5, 7, 12, Yesterday, someone went back to when they were 2.

Really?

And so, yeah. And so, yeah, I've had people go back to when they were a baby and one person, like, when she was still in the womb. Right?

Wow.

Who knows? But, you know, the mind is amazing. And so we have them go back to that moment where that belief was formed, and then we give them the resources that they did not have at the time and then make them feel loved. protected, safe, reassured. And then we're able to then switch the belief. Once we give them the resources and a new feeling, then we're able to ask them, what would you want to believe instead? You know, because beliefs are just opinions. You have the right to any opinion you want, just like everybody else. And so we start to develop this new opinion that they want to support, and then we start reinforcing that. So it's challenging to do it on your own. You know, the scripts for how to do that are in my One Belief Away book. So you have it. It's just, it's harder to really get to that and do it on your own because we're humans and we need each other. But one of the things that you can do at home is you can get out a piece of paper and just write down, you know, what am I stressed about? And then what would I have to believe to feel this way? And then you just keep asking yourself that same question. What would I have to believe to feel that way? You know, well, I'm overwhelmed that I don't think I'm ever going to get out of this pain.

Yeah.

You know, and then, well, what would you have to believe to feel that you're never going to get out of this pain? That, that there's, there's no hope for me, you know? And what would you have to believe to think that there's no hope for me? Well, because I've tried everything and nothing's helping and I'm still here. Well, what would you have to believe in order to feel this way? It's the same question. What you're doing is you're getting through the layers of the onion. And so, you know, until eventually, well, I'm afraid that maybe I did something wrong, or it's my fault. Or maybe I'm not worthy of having a good life. Maybe I'm just— maybe God just doesn't like me. Maybe I'm just not good enough. You know, and, and then, you know, you start thinking, where else might have you picked up an idea like that in your life when you were younger?

Yeah, because I think when we're young, and we— something happens, and we start to believe, like, for me, something happened when I was really young. And so I felt like I'm not worthy of protection. I'm not good enough to even to love or help. And then I would go through life and find exactly that belief that I was telling myself. I would pick someone, uh, uh, you know, later in life, a boyfriend that treated me bad, that was abusive, that made me feel like I wasn't worthy of love, who didn't love me, who cheated on me. It was like I kept finding those situations until I started switching that script, rewriting the story for myself. It's really hard though when someone has it so ingrained, so deeply ingrained, and you think, okay, I've healed, I've done the therapy, I've done the hypnotherapy, I've done all the work, and lo and behold, something comes along, along and triggers you, and suddenly all those feelings are back. And so do you just start over using those tools? Is your One Belief Away book, is that something that somebody could buy and go through that? So when they do get triggered, they're like, okay, time to get out the book, read it. I need to just get this, get my brain rewired and start over.

And that doesn't happen when people go through this experience with me. Oh, that's what's, that's what's so revolutionary about this approach. Because that's the typical experience that people have. And they get triggered and they go right back to what it was before. And I have found that that relapse is because they never actually got to the deep core of what was going on.

Wow.

You know, they might have even got close to it, but they never actually got to pulling out the weed. Maybe they cut it real low to the ground, but they never actually pulled it out. And so when you get triggered, it means that you're just pushing that old button. Well, with my approach, my goal is to get rid of the button so there's nothing to push.

Okay, Tim, we need you to help me and my listeners, like, get that root or get the weed from the root, pull it out, chuck it away. And so get rid of the button. How can people work with you? Do you have group coaching or is it this one-on-one?

Well, I have the one-on-one option. It's a little more expensive. So the groups are—

I can imagine.

Yeah, the groups are the way to go because you learn from each other and you know the power of masterminds. You've got one coming up in March that everybody should be a part of. And so the power of being in a group is that you learn from others as well, and you can see their blind spots more easily than you can see your own. And so you just learn faster being a part of a group. Plus you have support and you realize you're not the only one, you know? And so there's tremendous power in being a part of a group. And so we have that. So we have groups available. We have, you know, online programs that, you know, if you don't have the budget for a group, but you still need the help, you know, we have that. And of course we have, you know, the books, like I think it's $18 or something on Amazon. And so you can start there as well. And we'll give your listeners a free program to get you started just so that you can Learn more about how to use the power of your mind and how to feel inspired because, you know, our biggest fear is that it's not gonna work. I've tried everything and you haven't tried everything. We don't have enough time in our lives to try every possible thing there is. And so we've just usually tried the same 5 things over and over and you just keep getting the same outcome. And so, so yeah, you know, we'll have all the links in the show notes and stuff like that so that people want to get ahold of me and and, you know, go through my One Belief Away experiences, I highly recommend it because I really haven't found anything else like this out there, or I'd be— if I have, it's incorporated into this approach because I took the best pieces out of all of it and then just kept working on and trying this experience and this experience and tweaking this and that until I found a set of experiences that predictably and sustainably create breakthroughs for people regardless of what they've been going through, especially pain. You know, my dad was a burn victim. I got into hypnosis because of my anxiety, but also because it's well known for helping people to naturally alleviate pain and discomfort. And so, but even with the people that had physical pain, I always found that there is physical because of something physical. They had a bad surgery, they had a car accident, they had something physically that caused the pain. The emotional piece of it was something they never addressed because they always thought it was because of the accident. There's no way that things that happened when I was a kid are affecting what's happening to me right now. And that's a mistake because it is always there. And when you alleviate the needless emotional suffering from our past, then it gives you immediate and more peaceful relief in the present.

Oh, There's so many nuggets, like so much that you just said that I want to go back to. And y'all don't worry, I'm going to have all the links for everything. Tim is one of the most giving people I've ever met. You, you have a gift also, Tim, for being a connector. Like, you are just so generous in how you connect people. And so I will have all the show notes from his free gift. to the book, to how to work with him in a group session or a one-on-one session. And I love that you brought up the power of being in a group. And that's something that I learned the hard way. I had this PhD and suck it up, and which I was like, which really only meant that I had exhausted every other avenues, and I thought that I had to rely solely on myself. to do anything. And once I discovered that grit plus connection is where you find resilience, and not, you know, grit without connection is resistance. It's like walking through quicksand. It's, you know, struggling nonstop. And I was like, I don't want to be in fight or flight anymore. I want to be in flow. And so the power of a group getting to learn from each other, I really wish The one thing I really wish that I would've known sooner in my entrepreneurial journey. In, you know, it's what it— not only that, but it's what has kept me sober. I have a group of women, we call each other the God Squad. I've got, you know, my sober sisters. And then I love a mastermind so much, and it's moved the needle on my business that I've created my own mastermind. And before we even started recording, you and I were talking about the power of a mastermind and how it can move the needle on your business and your life. So I love that you brought that up and that, again, just getting to the root of it can change pain because I know the power of our beliefs in our mind. I can just start to talk or describe the pain I feel when I talk about the CRPS in my leg and it hurts more. I can get more stressed and I feel more pain in my leg. It's, it's wild. It's crazy. So I love that you brought up that this can also help with pain because we have a lot of people that are listening that deal with physical pain and a lot of people that have that emotional pain as well. And I think it's so important to feel safe and to feel loved. But before We got, uh, stop. Do you have time for a couple more questions?

Sure. Yeah.

Okay. Thank you. So a lot of bad habits. I know I've got bad habits. A lot of people, uh, set a lot of resolutions that they're going to start working out or stop eating chips and queso. Hello, that's me. Whether they want to gain muscle or lose weight or stop smoking or stop drinking, they want to quit a bad habit. What is a suggestion they can do, you can give them that they can do right away to help them, even if it's biting their nails or picking at their cuticles or whatever it may be? What do you suggest?

Yeah. So what drives our behavior is we're always trying to avoid pain and create pleasure. And so everything that you described, from the chips and queso to even chewing our fingernails, Our brain feels pleasure to those activities and that's why we do it. The other activities, like maybe we want to exercise, well, that creates a lot of effort. And if you're outta shape, that can feel painful. And so if you associate massive pleasure to eating all the junk food and massive pain to exercise, then you're not gonna do it, right? And that every diet, that's the problem with every diet out there. I always say you shouldn't do anything where the first 3 letters spell die.

And like, heck, I agree.

Right? So, but that's what happens and that's why people struggle and why we procrastinate because we've associated pain to the goal or pain to taking action towards that goal. And so, you have to flip it. You have to start to associate pleasure. And the first thing you do is you tell yourself, I don't have to completely eliminate something, maybe just a little bit more in moderation. Because if you think I'm never going to eat chips and queso again, that is stressful, right? And your brain's like, oh, and then all of a sudden you're going to want to go have some right now.

Yeah.

And so instead we say, well, I can have some and maybe later, but not right now. Right now, maybe I'm going to go for the salmon salad, right? Or I'm going to go for some apples with some peanut butter. I'm going to go have some guacamole, right?

And so That's so good. Yeah. I mean, I can't tell you. I mean, a lot of times people think I'm so motivated, like, oh, I'm just motivated all the time. And I can't tell you how many times I go to the gym and I sit in the parking lot and I start scrolling through Instagram and I have to talk to myself and tell myself like, Amberly, go in there. You're going to feel so much better after you work out. You're going to be more energized. You're going to feel less pain. And I actually tell myself, I will feel less pain if I go in there and work out because that's what happens. But if the old programming I hear when I listen to myself, sometimes I, you know, when I listen to myself and I'm like, oh, you're so tired, or your leg hurts too bad, you probably shouldn't work out. But when I talk to myself, I can re— like reprogram it and then I go in there. So yeah, that's so good. And one other thing that helps me is I, I think of things as One day at a time. Like, if I can just do it one day at a time, if that— I think about what you said, like, I can never eat chips and salsa or chips and queso again. And I also like that you said substitute it for something else. I just ordered a box of food that was just delivered right before we got on this call. I guess I'm gluten intolerant, uh, dairy intolerant, all these things. So I got online and I found something to substitute for, you know, corn chips and crackers, even pasta that's grain-free, gluten-free, all the things. And so that's so good. So yeah, find something to substitute it, really rewire it to how can we find pleasure in that? That's so good. And one last question for you. You speak so much about really the strategies that you have to train your brain for success. So what if you are gonna go, let's say, speak at a big conference, and you are about to take the stage and share the stage with huge speakers, and you're like, oh my gosh, that, that old programming comes in of I'm not good enough to be there. Why did they let me? Why am I here? What am I doing? What am I going to say? And all these things come up. How do you train your brain for success so you can get on that stage and bring the thunder?

A couple of quick thoughts on that. First, I've met a lot of those people that are on that stage that are all fancy. And once you really meet them, it's not that big a deal, you know? So don't make somebody, you know, so much better than you because they're not. In fact, they started out You know, when nobody knew them and they were out talking at the libraries and, you know, and, and we all start somewhere. Yeah, it had the same thing. And so first, we don't make other people better than ourselves. Second, we don't make it about our performance. We make it about our message.

Right.

So if you're making it all about you, then you're gonna feel like maybe I'm not gonna be enough and that's gonna set off that fight or flight response. So instead, we focus on what's the value, what's the message, what do you wanna share to that one person in the audience? that needs to hear what you have. And that's all you're doing. You know, they're thirsty, you have water. Don't worry about the cup you're going to give it to them in. Just get them the water, right? And so we want to make sure that, that you are being— it's an opportunity to be loving and reassuring. The next thing you do is you imagine it going well, because what we do in our mind is we focus on what we don't want, right? We're focused on what we're afraid of. And then that's where you're going to go. Because you feel what you focus on. And so if we start focusing on with our— just ask what I call a power question. What do I want to have happen? How do I want this to go? You know, how do I want to feel afterwards? Let's just say I got on that stage and I crushed it. I mean, it was amazing. Like God was coming through me and it was just fabulous. How would I feel? And then you start to feel that. And instead of just visualization, you use feelization. So you imagine that it went perfect. How do you feel afterwards? Oh my gosh, I feel alive. I feel light. I feel tingly. I just feel like it was so good. I feel like my heart is full right now. I just feel so thankful and full of joy. Now start imagining your talk from that space, from the feeling of joy, because what you're doing is associating pleasure to getting out there and perform where most people are doing it the opposite. And then just one more bit of this is pay attention to the words that you use to describe What's happening? Because as a hypnotist, you're a wordsmith. You pay attention to words, and words push buttons in your brain. So when you're in the car scrolling through Instagram and you say, I'll feel less pain, whether you feel less pain or you feel more pain, you hear pain. And when you hear pain, it pushes the button in your brain, the cortisol button, right? So what's the opposite of pain? What would be the opposite of pain for you?

Oh, I would think, uh, for me it's joy, it's peace, it's freedom.

Okay, so that's what you would say. You know, I'm gonna have more energy and I'm gonna experience more joy, more peace, and more freedom if I go in there. And now your brain's hearing joy and peace and freedom, and it pushes the endorphins button, which is like your natural morphine in your brain, and it gives you a new feeling. If you're associating pleasure and joy and freedom and peace to that gym, then that's your place of freedom. That's where you're going to go.

And you know what? It really is. It is my place of freedom. It's where I go in there and I just like, I can exhale and it feels good.

Yeah, I can breathe in here. See, now we're talking about in a pleasurable way, but people sabotage themselves accidentally. Because nobody's ever taught us this. I had to learn it myself. I've got this, The Cure for Self-Sabotage workbook that we have on our website. I think it's $5. And so, and there's 10 ways that we sabotage ourselves, and this is one of them. And so what we want to do is make sure, like, I have a client that would say, I can't stop eating cookies. You know, I just can't stop eating cookies. I'm like, what do you tell yourself? And she says, I tell myself, don't eat the cookies. Just don't eat the cookies.

So all she thinks about is cookies.

Eating the cookies. And your brain doesn't hear the word don't, right? If you ever tell a child, don't throw that toy, what do they do? They go, they throw it because your brain doesn't hear don't. It hears what comes after it. So all day long, what she's doing is telling herself, eat the cookies, eat the cookies.

Yeah.

And so when we start to realize how our brain really works, which most people do not know, when we understand the programs that your mind runs and you start to shift that, You're the computer programmer. I'm like the Geek Squad for your brain, so I can teach you these things. And what happens is it gets rid of all the challenge and it makes it easier for you to show up in the gym or for you to eat those healthy alternatives or for you to just feel more peace and comfort in your life and in your mind and in your body. And, you know, so there's so much that, so much relief that people can experience. They've never been given the right strategies or tools. In this kind of way. They have great tools, but once you upgrade the beliefs and you recognize the words you're using and how you're telling that story and you modify that, then all the tools actually can work for you. But they won't work until you pull the weeds.

Yeah. Pull those weeds from the root. And words are so powerful. So what do you say to somebody who's like, don't eat the cookies? What would be an alternative thing for them to say?

Grab that bottle of water. What do you want your brain to do? Right? Tell it now. Instead of saying, what do I wanna get away from? Which is playing not to lose, you focus on what you're moving towards. If you say, I wanna lose weight, that's an away from pain thing. And which is why there's like a 98% failure rate. People are trying to get away from the feelings they have of trying to lose weight. Your goal is to create an energy body. Your goal is to create a self-love plan.

Mm-hmm.

Where every time you drink that water, every time you eat the right foods at the right times in the right amounts, it's an act of love. You're making loving daily deposits into your health and happiness account. And so it's a whole different approach that's based on self-love and pleasure and what you're moving to so that you're bringing abundance into your life. Just like when people attend your mastermind, you have March 10th and 11th, I think, in Raleigh, North Carolina. When people go there, if you're a speaker, if you have a business and you want to learn how to do the TED Talk, you know, approach, which even if you don't do TED Talks, this is such a wildly important skill because you're gonna be doing social media and you're gonna be in front of a camera. So you, if you do that, which everybody in business does, you need to be there. And it's because you're gonna get the confidence, you're gonna get the tools, you're gonna get the strategies. You're also gonna pick up ideas that you would not have figured out on your own because you're watching what everybody else does, both their breakthroughs and their mistakes, which makes it wildly valuable for you. But one of the big things is that you go there and you borrow confidence. You're in that state of confidence so that when you come home, you know how to anchor that confidence. You know how to release that confidence so that you take action. And it's something that gives you more. It adds to your life. It creates new experiences for you where our goal is to expand our life. What most people do is they're trying to take things away from their life, away from their life. They're using subtraction.

Yeah.

We want to use addition. We want to use multiplication so that we're multiplying abundance in our life. And most people are not doing it that way. Only like the top 3% of the whole country, of the whole world is really using addition in their life. Most people are using subtraction, playing not to lose. And so, you know, when you have your podcast or when you have your mastermind groups or you have these resources, you're adding to your life. And that's What makes the difference.

Oh, it sure does. Thank you. And I hope I get to see you in Raleigh. I hope you come. Be my guest. You could be my VIP guest. I would love to have you there. I just, I love talking with you. You just give so much value. You really give so much value. You connect people, you love people, you're helping, you're making such an impact in the world with all that you do. And there's one thing that you say, it's like a strategy to use. And y'all, he says a few strategies in his TED Talk, so head over and watch his TED Talk too. But you say look up. When you look up, you can't feel fear or find fear. Is that what you say? Something about how, how does that work? Because when I listened, I actually stopped what I was doing and I looked up and I felt more peace. So yeah, how does that work?

Yeah, I'm a student of what works and I'm always looking for these little tweaks, you know, and, and especially How do you shift from anxiety to a feeling of calm, you know, a feeling of ease? And so one of the things that I noticed from years of just watching people is that when you feel stressed, what most people do is they look at the ground. And when you look down, it activates your feeling. It activates the story you're telling yourself. So when you look down, it makes whatever you're feeling expand. It's like turning up the volume. When we look down, most people, when they're really stressed or anxious, They're looking down, they're telling themselves, oh my gosh, I'm, I'm gonna fail.

Yeah.

Or I'm ha— I'm having more pain, you know? And then that, that telling themself that and focusing on that causes them to enhance the experience, right? To crank up the discomfort. When you do the opposite, instead of looking down and breathing through your mouth, which causes you to breathe very short and shallow, or we even hold our breath and that activates the fight or flight response, what we do is the opposite. So, Amberly, we look up because when you look up, you go visual instead of kinesthetic, which means that when you look up, you're disconnecting yourself from feeling things, which is why people just kind of go neutral. It's very difficult. You can do it if you're not driving. Do it right now. Look up at the ceiling and try to get stressed about something. You can think about the thing, but you don't feel it. It's like, that is the weirdest.

It is. I'm so going to use this.

Yeah. So you look up, and then the second part is you change your breathing. So you breathe through your nose. Down to your belly, down to the bottom of your lungs, and then you slowly exhale. And when you do that 5 times in a row, then it activates your relaxation response, your body's built-in ability to feel calm and peaceful and at ease. And it won't matter where you're at, who you're with, or what's going on. You will feel better. So you look up and you take your 5 power breaths through your nose, and it's like a mindset reset. Then you can focus on, all right, what do I want to have happen instead? What do What do I want to have happen? And so then you start to focus your attention on the outcomes that you want instead of what you're getting away from. And that simple technique of looking up, breathing through your nose, and then asking a better question that focuses you on the outcome that you want is the most successful tool you'll have in your toolbox for the rest of your life. So master it and you'll see what'll happen. It'll, it'll change your life.

Oh my goodness. So good. So good. And this is so timely for me because I'm about to hit the road. I'm going to be traveling for a few weeks straight doing in-person events, and I'm so grateful that I get to speak at these amazing events. And then of course, putting on my 2-day event, I'm going to be looking up. You're going to see me looking up a lot. Thank you so much. Tell us where— okay, y'all, he is so giving. And when I say that, like, After the first time we met and talked, you made introductions for me. You're just like agreed to come on here and share your wisdom. So thank you for all that you give and all this wisdom that you shared. He is also not only like here to share his wisdom, he has created a gift for True Grit and Grace listeners. So how can they find this gift that you have so generously offered for everyone?

Well, thank you. Yeah, if you go to timshurr.com, so it's Tim like Timothy, T-I-M, and then my last name is S as in Sam, H-U-R-R.com/gift, G-I-F-T like a present, then you can get a free copy of my course, The Power of Your Unconscious Mind. And it'll teach you how to use the power of your mind to create your life by design. And it shares a lot of really amazing stories about how people achieve what they thought were impossible goals. You know, doubling their income, losing 100 pounds, you know, all kinds of stuff. It's, it's very inspiring. It gives you a lot of tools and tips. And, uh, and so if you want to learn how I developed my One Belief Away method and how to use it in your life, then, uh, you can start with that.

That's awesome. And then also y'all check out his One Belief Away book. Can they get your book and find your courses right there on your website?

I'm redoing my websites right now. If you get that course, then I'll be able to email you some ideas of where, you know, what we're doing. We've got The awakening programs that will free you from anxiety. We've got the Millionaire Brain Tapes. People come to me because they want to get rid of their anxiety or they want to make $1 million. And so I've got these Millionaire Brain Tapes that I created. I had them just for my high-end clients because I interviewed them, all my millionaire friends, and I said, how do you think about consistency, about motivation, about confidence, about relationships, about Showing up even when you don't feel like it and what's your attitude about it? And then, and I've been accumulating all of those attitudes because so many of my clients don't have that. They struggle with confidence and motivation and a lack of clarity. And so they're like, one of my clients one time said, I wish I could just download it into my brain. And I thought we could do that. And so I collected all the information and then I put it together in these audio programs and now you just listen to it 10 minutes a day. And it downloads this millionaire mindset right into your brain. And so, you know, there may be some ways that we can collaborate on that and, and get that to your audience as well if they're interested, because it's a game changer. If you didn't, what if you didn't have to do all this work and you could just take a nap for 10 minutes and all of a sudden feel confident and feel motivated and feel focused? And so we've got a lot of really cool human performance technology available in this new year. You know, that we'll be releasing. So it's going to be exciting.

Oh my goodness. That's amazing. Well, I can't wait to learn more about that. Do you think that most of the people that come to you is, it's either for anxiety or because they want to make money? Are those the top 2 things? Yeah. I would think weight loss.

Well, it was, you know, and so for, you know, for the first 15 years of my practice, all I did was weight loss and stop smoking.

Wow. I mean, I had a client that smoked for years and he stopped smoking with hypnosis.

Yeah. Oh, I did well over 10,000 sessions just for weight loss alone. And so, yeah, I became one of the top, you know, weight loss hypnotists in the world, you know, and we've got courses and programs for that. I, I'll do it occasionally for, for people that are interested in that. And I got a book on Amazon too called Losing Weight Without Losing Your Mind. And I put all my best secrets in there. So, it's a deal. People paid, you know, $5,000, $6,000 for the wisdom that you can get in a $15 book. But most of my clients now are high performers and business people, or they want to become high performers. And so, they're looking for how do I grow my business and how do I take it to the next level and how do I get rid of that, you know, fear that I'm not good enough or imposter syndrome or procrastination or, you know, and so, so those are usually the people that I'm working with right now because if you can grow your business and triple your income, then you can be a greater force for good in the world.

Mm-hmm.

And so that's ultimately why we do it. Plus it allows you to become your best you, you know, and it's not just what do I have to do to achieve this goal? It's who do I have to become in order to command this kind of wealth or this kind of success? Who do I need to become? That's the driving question. It's a lot more fun and a lot more effective.

That is powerful. Yeah. Who do I have to become?

That—

yeah. What do you have to do every day to become that person? You know? Oh gosh, that's powerful. So yes, y'all, please check it out. Go grab his book, listen to his podcast. I actually listened to it on Audible. His podcast again is How to Become Mesmerize— How to Become Mesmerizing podcast. And you have some incredible guests on your show too. And thank you so much, Tim. You're amazing. I feel so honored that you shared with our audience because I know you're in such demand and you're always on like big TV shows and stuff like that. So for you to take the time to share with us, I really, really appreciate you. Thank you. Y'all go ahead, take a picture, whether you're listening or you're— whether you're watching on YouTube, take a screenshot and tag us. You know, when I see your tag, I always repost it in my story. So tag us @TimShoren and @AmberlyLagoMotivation. And thank y'all for tuning in. I'll see you next week. Tim, thank you so much for all that you shared. I've been taking notes the whole time.

Thank you, Amberly. I've been taking notes from you as Well, so thank you so much.

Thank you.