Win at Motherhood, Money, and Mindset with Brooke Hemingway

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert and bestselling author. Each week, I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought leaders and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace. Hey, welcome back to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and today on the show I have one of my really good friends. We're going to talk about faith, love, marriage, um, how to become a self-made millionaire, a boss babe life. Y'all, Brooke Hemingway I met through our good friend Tiffany Peterson. And she's the master of masterminds. She's a coach. She holds retreats. She really shows women that they can have it all without losing it all. And you can be unstoppable without really getting sick or being, you know, your life being destructed or your family falling apart. And so Brooke, I'm so excited to have you here. Thanks for being here. And welcome to the show.

Thank you so much for having me. I just have this pomegranate on my face because I'm so excited to be with you because you're one of the women that I admire the most and that I resonate with. And I just feel like we align on a lot of things, even though we don't have the same exact background or number of kids or life history or anything. You know, when you just hear somebody and you connect with them, and I was like, that was Amberly. From the first time I heard her, I just felt this connection to her. So I'm grateful for the opportunity to share some thoughts and insights Oh, thank you.

I just feel so good when I'm around you. So I have to be honest. To be recording on Zoom, so we were going to try to do this in person. And I was like, oh, we're meeting up, but I don't know if there's going to be time to fit the podcast in. And so we're doing it through Zoom. And I always get messed up because I look at you and I don't want to take my eyes off of you. And I'm like, no, I'm supposed to look in the camera. And I'm like, screw it. I got to look at you. And I have to look at your smile. And I'm just keeping it real. So I'm looking at you to talk. interview. But I want to talk about kids. Thank you, first of all, for your kind words. And I felt the same when I met you. And then when I was like, oh my gosh, you've got 6 kids. And then I love that you were a nurse. You were in the medical field for 10 years. Then also in the fitness industry for 20 years. And we just clicked. And I love also that you're like, you know, I got to just figure things out. And you're recording from your bathroom. You're like, it's the quietest place in the And I'm like, okay, I get that. I've recorded from my coat closet before. So whatever works. But also, you know, to see people like yourself who are highly successful and you're an incredible mom and you show up for your community and you are doing so many things. And I know you have 4 businesses that I even know about. And a lot of times from the outside in, especially looking at social media or, or just hearing about how incredibly successful you are.

Yeah.

you don't realize the struggles that have come, that you've overcome. And now you have made it to this level of success. So I'd like to go back and just share with everybody because there's so many people struggling. And I know as a mom, and I only have 2 girls, that it's sometimes hard. And I have mom guilt and feel like I'm spread thin and feel like I'm not in alignment. And just, I start to get sick. And so you inspire me to live my best life. And I'd love to talk about how you overcame a lot of anxiety, depression, and a lot of things. Can you take us back to the moment that you were like, enough is enough and I have got to change my life?

Yeah. So, I am going on 43. I will be 43 this July. And I did not start my entrepreneurial journey until I was 38. So, I was in the thick of having children. I had just had my 5th baby. And I also just want to look at you. So, so be it. I am just looking at you because you are such a bright light and you're so beautiful. And it's like, I just want to look at you. So, um, so if you're watching this later and you're like, why is she not looking at the camera? It's because how can I not look at this woman here? But, um, but anyways, I was 38 when I started my entrepreneurial journey and I was kind of that unsuspecting entrepreneur. I do have that background in health and fitness. I did that for over 20 years. And I think I was drawn to that because I always hung on to like physical movement as a means to sort of cope with my anxiety and depression. I always tell people, Amberly, I think I would have been an alcoholic. I think I would have had substance issues. I would have gone to something if I didn't have movement as like my sort of savior to get me through that. I feel like from the time I was 15 or 16, I struggled with anxiety and depression. My parents were divorced when I was a teenager. There was Lots of just negative feelings and just, you know, just things in the house that, like, I was a very sensitive child and I kept a lot of things inside and I was a people pleaser like so many women are. We just want to be good girls. We want to be people pleasers. We don't want to ruffle the feathers. And so, we absorb and absorb and absorb all these feelings and emotions and sadness. And that is what I did. And I got married fairly young. My husband started med school, did his residency.

How old were you when you got married? How old were you when you got married?

I was a baby. I wish I could say 20, and I was such a holdout. Like, when we were picking our wedding date, I was like, I will not be a teenage bride. Like, I'm not doing that. But the only date that worked was July 10th, so I was 19 when I got married.

Wow.

And my husband was fresh out of college. Yeah, I was a baby. We celebrate 23 years this summer that we got married. That's amazing.

But, you know, I grew up in Texas and You know, that's very normal to get married when you're, you're a teenager. You know, you get married at 18, 19, start having babies. I was just a little different. I was like, I'm moving to California. I'm going to do something different. And I totally relate to what you said about using working out and movement as your coping skill. I did the same thing. So I think that's one of the reasons we really connected.

Yeah, it was definitely—

He was going to medical school right when you got married?

Yeah. So, we got married the summer before he started med school. We moved to California. I didn't know anybody there. So, I coped by going to the gym and I learned how to become a fitness instructor. I got my degree in kinesiology from good old SDSU and I was in the fitness field and that is what I did. I helped put him through med school, residency. We didn't get married and have babies right away because I was like you. I had seen my mom after 25 years of marriage have to go back to work and figure it out. I was like, I don't ever want to be that position. I want to have a career. I want to have skills. I want to have a way to make money. And so when I got married, I didn't get married because I was like, let's have babies. In fact, I never, ever, ever was baby hungry. And when I say that to people, they're like, you have 6 kids. I'm like, I know. It's crazy, right? Like I was not that girl.

And now 6 kids later.

Yeah, yeah. We were married 8 years before we had kids. And I always tell people that was the best thing we ever did for us because We went through the growing pains. We learned to become each other's best friends and to love each other and support each other, you know. And I didn't put that pressure on him. And it was—

Was there pressure on you from other people? Because I know as soon as I got married, people are like, when are you having a baby? When are you having a baby? Was there pressure from friends and family asking, why aren't you having a baby?

Yes. And like pastors and religious leaders and stuff, like Because I think they were looking at us like, why don't you have any kids yet? And I'm a little feisty. If you don't know this about me yet, Amberly, like, I always wanted to be like, it's none of your business, because it really is nobody else's business what you decide to do. And I just knew in my heart that that was the right thing for us. I honestly don't think we would have made it through all that time and remained married and remained as in love as we are now if we had thrown babies into the mix. And so for us, that was the right decision. But, you know, we went through these 8 years and we learned how to love each other and support each other. And I worked full-time and went to school full-time. And it was just like, go, go, go, go, go. And then we started having babies and it was like, go, go, go, go, go. And it was like baby after baby after baby. I mean, that is just what we felt like. It just felt right. And so we did it. But I spent a lot of time alone and we lived on Kauai. We split our time between Hawaii and the mountains of Utah, and we were kind of a little bit gypsy. the entrepreneurial life allows for that, which is fantastic. But I didn't really have much of a support network and I felt pretty lonely and my husband was working all the time. And I had periods of time where I fell into deep postpartum depression. After my 4th baby, it was an entire year. It was a solid year of everybody, like mostly my husband, having to just make it through that year, not knowing what kind of wife he was going to come home to. snapping at my kids, having such high anxiety. I remember driving home a lot of times, and I don't say this lightly, but just being like, I could just drive off the road and hit that pole. Like, my kids would be better without me. I am a mess. Like, my husband could find some cute wife to marry and she could raise these kids and she would love it. And what is wrong with me? Why don't I love my life? Why am I not happy? Like, all of these feelings because most people would look at my life and be like, wow, Her husband adores her. He is a physician. He makes a great living. She lives on the North Shore of Kauai. Like, she has everything.

Hmm.

And I felt so broken and so depressed. And I was dealing with probably all this baggage from childhood and like all these things and these fears of not being enough and like everything good in my life comes to an end. I mean, that was my Biggest limiting belief is I just thought no matter what, everything good in my life comes to an end. My marriage will come to an end. My children will grow up and be messed up. I'm going to get fat and unhappy. Like everything. It was like, wow.

Well, that postpartum depression though, when I had postpartum depression really bad with my daughter, who is now almost 26, I didn't know what that was and no one really talked about it. And I was, you know, there was no social media back then that many years ago. And then when I had my second daughter, same thing. And I knew, okay, I might not feel good after I have the baby. Like I might be depressed, but at least I'll be able to work out. But then I found out I was having a cesarean and I couldn't run and I couldn't do anything. And I tried to run and my stomach blew up like a balloon because I wasn't healed. And, um, I was driving my husband crazy. And he was like, you need to go to a shrink because there's something wrong with you. You're driving me crazy. I was paranoid, depressed, mopey. I just was not myself. And now, thank goodness, more people talk about postpartum depression and what that looks like. And so it can be a little bit normalized. But I had no idea what that was. How did you get through that postpartum depression on those days? It were your worst days? Did you go seek counsel or what did you do?

Because of where we live, this is the difficult part. And you might have some listeners that also struggle with this is, you know, living on a small island, everybody knows everybody's business. And I knew that there would be no privacy. I knew if I went to get help, it would not be kept private, which was kind of like a prison to me. And I'm not saying I shouldn't have gotten help, but I just knew because of the position my husband was in, He was the chief of the ER and everybody in the community knew us. It's an island of 60,000 people. And so I was like, first of all, there are no good shrinks here. Second of all, if I go in to get help, everybody will know. And I don't want everybody to know my deepest, darkest thoughts. Like I just didn't have trust. And so I tell people like, listen, I got through it because of movement and God. Like that's it. Like God kept me alive and thank goodness I had the good sense about me to keep physically moving. my body because it is true. I mean, it's clinically proven that movement is just about as effective as an antidepressant.

Mm-hmm.

My husband's done a lot of research on this. And I'm so grateful for those years when I was making $23 to teach a fitness class, which is like such a joke, you know? But like that $23 forced me to go to the gym and move my body. And that was literally a savior to me. So that's how I made it through. And my mom, she recognized something was really wrong. She came to visit me at one point during that. And she looked at me and she's like, you realize you're not okay. Wow. And I was like, I know, I know I'm not okay. But what am I supposed to do about it? I really felt like I didn't have any friends at the time that I felt like I could confide in. But I could kind of share with my mom. And then of course, the movement and just God, like, and music, loud AF music, like super loud, driving in the Car, like boom, boom, boom, crying, like getting it all out. Like I am very much a, what's it like, a sensory person. Movement, like music, like I need that in my life. That movement does therapy.

I'm so happy to hear you say that because I actually went to the shrink and I was like crying a mess. And I was like, I told her, I said, I know if when I can move my body, I know I'll be okay. And I actually said that same thing when I was in the hospital bed. And the doctors thought I was crazy when I asked them to install a pull-up bar above my bed because I couldn't even stand up. But I was like, well, at least I can do some pull-ups. But I knew the endorphins make you feel better, that, you know, moving your body combats pain, not just physically but emotionally, mentally. And but the shrink that I went to was like, well, something's wrong with you if you need to move to feel good.

That is so wrong. And nowadays we know better than that. We—

Yeah.

We know so much better than that, that movement really is integral to emotional health and wellness and the chemicals that are released, like literally help to improve your mental health and wellbeing. So even if you don't feel like it, it's one of the reasons why a couple of years ago, I know you see me posting on Instagram. I do this hashtag 6 for 6 in my Instagram and people ask me, what's that for? Well, if you're somebody that struggled with anxiety and depression, pretty much your whole life, I feel like it's not like you're ever totally cured. It's kind of like addiction. You're not ever like completely cured. You never have to be mindful, watchful, careful. And so, I feel like with anxiety and depression, I have to employ certain tools to keep myself healthy and functioning and happy and be able to show up for my family. And so, a couple of years ago on my journey, I had another dip. where I was really, really low and it was after my 6th child and I thought I had everything figured out and I was like, I am good. I am good. Then I had this 6th child and I was like, oh my gosh, here comes the crazy. Here comes the crazy. It is powerful. Yeah, and I had let some of those habits slip, you guys. I had become somebody that was maybe working out like 3 times a week and I mean, that is OK for the average person, but I don't even want to say that. Like, our bodies were made to move. We were physically made to move. I mean, think about the manual labor, the hard labor that men and women used to put in with their bodies, physically working in the earth. Like, there are cultures in Africa that still walk 8 miles a day just for life. Like, we are wired to move. And I just realized, you know what? I need to remove a couple of things from exercise, OK? I need to remove this all-or-nothing attitude about exercise, that if I don't work out an hour, it is not worth it. I need to remove any of the shame and guilt from exercise. I need to remove the scale or what size I am or what I look like from exercise. I need to move just for life, for happiness, for health, and I had to remove the perfectionism from it because, again, I am a perfectionist, recovering people pleaser, and I used to be all or nothing. I work out for an hour or it is not worth it. So, I set this 6 for 6 where I was like, 20 minutes minimum. 6 days a week. I am not going to say 7 because 7 is perfection and 20 minutes, it is a starting point. Now, most of the time I go longer than that, but there are some days where I take a walk for 20 minutes and I am like, yes, I did it. I did my 6 for 6 and it has been 2 years since I started that and I have maybe missed 7 days, 7 or 8 days in 2 years.

Wow, that is amazing.

Yeah, I can totally tell night or day, like my productivity in my work, my success in my business, my happiness in my marriage, my parenting, my health. And a great side effect is I am in the best shape of my life. I do look the best I have ever looked and I removed that perfectionism from it and I got all of these benefits.

That is amazing. That resonates with me so much because I am an overcoming perfectionist and people pleaser, too. And I remember I used to to feel good, but to also, I wanted to really look a certain way. And I was so hard on myself. And I would get on the scale all the time. And I would do the body fat measurement tanks where I would get dunked underwater to see what my body fat was. And that's all good if you're competing or something, you know? But after my motorcycle accident, I was like, no, I just want to move to feel good. And not long ago, I told my mom, I was like, Mom, did you ever think I would be doing all this work in front of a computer? And she goes, no, I never thought you would be doing that. I can't believe that you sit at a desk. Like she wasn't, it wasn't like a good thing. She was like reminding me. She goes, Amberly, I know how you are. You need to move. You need to get up. You need to go in nature.

Yeah.

And so I really make a point to get outside, get in nature. That's where I fill up my cup. But I want to know, for people that are listening and they're like, oh yeah, but I just don't have time to work out. I think that you have to make time to work out. But what would you say to the person who's like, I don't have time or I just don't feel good or I just don't have the energy? What would you say to that person? Because I know there's somebody listening right now saying, yeah, well, good for her, but I just don't have time.

Well, there's always those people. Or they're like, must be nice. She has the time and the money. And, you know, I have compassion for that. I do. Because I used to tell myself that same story. So I understand it. And you're right. I do have the time now in some ways. But actually having 4 businesses and 6 kids that we homeschool does not allow for a lot of extra time. Before I had my businesses, my husband literally worked 80 to 90 hours a week. So, I really was like a single parent handling all this load. So, I know there are some single parents listening and they are like, listen, you don't understand. I work full-time. I have kids. And all I am saying is give yourself 20 minutes. If you don't have 20 minutes, you don't love yourself. Like, love yourself enough to give yourself 20 minutes. I have been on vacation to Disney World where I didn't have any space but my bathroom. And I went in that bathroom because I was like—

I saw that, by the way.

You saw that?

I saw that.

I was with my family. I saw that. And they were all screaming.

I watch your stories. I watch your stories. And one of the things I have to say that I really, really love about you, I mean I loved you from the moment that we connected. I'm telling you, I'll be forever. Every time I talk to Tiffany, I'm like, I am so grateful you introduced me to Brooke. But one of the things I really love about you is that you are the real deal. You practice what you preach and you show up like 120%. You show people, I'm not just posting, oh, look at this cute picture of my bicep, or look how pretty I look. You're like, no, I am getting sweaty right now. I'm a sweaty— like, look at the sweat rings under my arms. Like, and you're like, and I only have the space in my bathroom to do this. But I love that you show people. Because a lot of us are like, I don't know where— I have in this little office, I've got a pull-up bar over here and a Swiss ball in the corner and a foam roller. Because there are days that I'm in here and I'll only have like 5 minutes in between, but I do something.

Yep.

You know? But I love that you show that, that you show that no matter what, there is a way to make that happen even if it's waking up 20, 10 minutes earlier in the day. You know?

There is a way to make it happen. And I think when your mind shifts to it being a luxury or it being something about vanity and just something that is a luxurious thing to it being a necessity and it being something essential to your life, you make it happen. Like you said, I have bands like sitting in the corner of my bathroom. I have a couple sets of dumbbells under my fireplace. I have these little things, you know, when I travel, I take my bands with me or I just go for a walk and it has just become a way of life for me. It is a rule for my life and I know it is hard to start a new habit, but if you just start and you commit to that consistency of 20 minutes, soon enough you will be at the point where, like, you can't imagine a day where you don't do this. You can't imagine, like, this is just part of who you are. are. You can argue for your limitations of time. You can argue for your limitations of money around this concept, and you can get the trophy for that. Yay. Good for you. You got the trophy for that. Or you can argue and fight for what you want in your life. And I want mental clarity and focus. I want sanity. I want energy to do all of these things I want to do. I don't want to be screaming at my kids. I want to have, I want to have that mood that I can walk into my life, whatever comes at me, and I can handle it. And, you know, I understand the energy thing as well, because a couple of years ago, I was struggling with energy. I literally had no energy and I would push snooze on the alarm and I would take a nap every single day. I was basically sleeping through my life.

Yeah.

I was buffering with sleep and I was just like, I just, my solution to a hard day was take a nap. My solution to any struggle was take a nap, just like zone out, take a nap, tap out. And I was like legitimately tired and I had different imbalances in my body that I had to deal with. And I would say, get some help, get, go to the doctors, find out what's off with your energy. If it's really truly off, maybe there's something wrong with your thyroid or get some supplements or start sleeping and turn your dang device off early enough so that you can get into bed and actually fall asleep.

Yeah.

Right? And so there's like some sleep hygiene, there's drinking water, There's water, there's supplements, there's getting your labs drawn, seeing if something really truly is off inside of you that's causing you to have such a deficit in energy, because there's a lot that we can do. I mean, we could do a whole podcast on energy, but we don't have time for that. But there's a lot you can do to improve your energy so that you have the wherewithal to get up and move. Yeah.

I think sometimes too, like taking a nap, or I know for me, when I'm really overwhelmed and my mind is going in a million different directions, I feel like I just need to take a nap. And that's a way of, uh, just like an escape mechanism basically, instead of dealing with what's—

Sometimes it's needed.

Sometimes it's needed. It is. And I wish I could be more like my husband sometimes, because I'm telling you, the man takes a nap every day. He's retired, takes a nap. He can sleep anywhere, in the car, when we're at the barn, like on a bench. And I'm like, I just can't do that. But he, you know, he can sleep anywhere. But I think it is important to like see what's off, like check, go to the doctor, see what's going on. But for me, moving my body actually does energize me.

Absolutely. Yeah, 100%.

But I wanted to ask you more about, because I've had this before and I know a lot of people that are listening probably have this is mom guilt. Like, I feel like sometimes, especially now that I'm working at home, so I've really had to go, okay, no, I'm home, but I'm in this home office doesn't mean I'm not working. And I only have one that's home now. My other daughter is like off in school, but I just wondered, and sometimes I have this mom guilt that, that comes on and I'm like, oh my gosh, maybe I'm missing, missing life. I'm missing her life. She's growing up so fast. Do you ever get that mom guilt? And if you do, what do you do about it?

Yeah. I mean, I, you have to understand, like I started, I basically went from being a stay-at-home mom. I mean, I worked one Friday night shift a week as a nurse until about 6 years ago. But I was, for all intents and purposes, a stay-at-home mom. And, and I also come from like a religious background. And I'm very grateful grateful for, for that. And I'm very strong, you know, in my faith and all of that. But a lot of times what comes with that is a certain expectation of what a woman should do, what a mother should do, you know, whether somebody is saying that to you or you just feel that, like that's been passed down. And it's not necessarily that my husband put those expectations on me, but I felt this sort of pressure or that maybe I was doing something wrong because like having 5 kids and starting a career when you're almost 40, it's a little bit crazy. Like I have extreme gene. I will just admit that. Like when I decide to do something, I decide to do it big.

You go full out. You go full out. Like, oh God, I just have to say something real quick. So I was fortunate enough and so blessed to be a part of your Align Resilience event. And I have never seen an event or been a part of an event like that. And I've told you that before, that wow, It was unbelievable, the detail to everything that you did. But also, like, I was like, how's she still going? Because you would do the whole event all day, and then you would bring everybody along on your date with you and do like a live and have ever— and I was like, she's amazing. But then what you did for all of us speakers, like, you sent us food, you sent us care packages. So you go full out. But I also do, I did grow up in a very religious, with a very religious background. And I mean, you did not miss Sunday unless you were on your deathbed or dead. Like you went, you showed up at church.

Right.

And not that my husband puts it on me, but he is Cuban and old school. And the way I grew up, it's kind of passed down that I feel like I have to do it all. Like, I have to be the one who cooks and cleans. And that started to shift a little bit. But it is, even though it's not expected, I don't know if I put it on myself or if, you know, it's just in there. I feel that a mom has to do certain things. And so yeah, the guilt sets in.

Yeah, it's a combination. And it's a, it's an old story, new story thing, right? Which a lot of people have heard of. But yeah, I did feel guilt. I mean, when I started building my business 5 and a half years ago, I would work sometimes 8, 10, 12, 14 hours a day. Now, a lot of times that was at the expense of sleep or I would do it while they were napping. But a lot of that had to happen when my kids were home. While they were doing homework, I would be on my computer doing work because when I feel really drawn to something and I feel like I really need to do something, like Amberly has said, I do it. Like, I just, I show up and do it. I am on my A-game. And when I commit to something, I do it. I am not a flaky person. Like, if I say I am going to do something, I am going to do it. But that has come with it a lot of hours of work. And it is really, really easy as a mother to start having these thoughts that you are damaging your children, you are destroying your children, that maybe you don't love your children as much as other women love their children, that you are doing maybe something sinful or wrong. And it is amazing how much that has changed for me over the last few years. years, and I am going to speak really, really honestly here. That is the biggest lie ever. It is the biggest lie ever that the only value and the only way you can help your children feel loved is if you are rolling around on the carpet with them, looking at them, reading books to them 24 hours a day. It is such a lie that we have been fed, and I have evidence of it. In fact, last night on my Instagram, I posted a little video of my son who is 13. He has struggled throughout his life with bullying. He had a stroke when he was born. He is a little bit different. He is very sensitive, incredibly intelligent, like he is a special, special child. I was able to just walk into a store at Thanksgiving and buy an $18,000 baby grand piano. Why? Because I worked my butt off, because I built a business and music is therapy to him. Music is life to him. He wants to be He wants to write the scores for movies. Like, that is his dream, right? Because I showed up.

You are making me cry.

Because I showed up on the days. Well, listen to this. Because I showed up on the days when I was crying in my closet and felt like I was failing as a mom. But then I was just like, OK, get on the Zoom. Just dry the tears. Put a smile on. OK, everybody. And I would like get on there and put on my game face and I would get to work. I can walk into a store and I can buy an $18,000 grand piano for my son who needs music in his life because I decided to show up and I decided to get into personal development, get a Coach for myself, listen to podcasts, listen to books, listen to Tony Robbins, Brendon Burchard, like all of these people. I am listening to all these people. Guess who else gets to hear it? My kids. My kids. My oldest child is 14. He is like the most unique kid you will ever meet. He has his own podcast now.

He does?

He has his own podcast? He has his own podcast called the Young Potential Podcast. He is writing a book. He listens to audiobooks and podcasts. He will tell you Tony Robbins helped save his life because he was really in a place where he was super depressed. He was very defiant. And he was not happy. And because he saw my example of overcoming things and personally growing and developing, and he was introduced to personal growth and development at a young age, he is a changed boy and he is going to go out there and change the world. So, if anybody wants to look at me and say, you are not a good mom because you work, you work too much. Oh, I wouldn't want to do that. I wouldn't want to do what she is doing. I would be like, Yes, you would. Yes, you would. You saw what my life was like. If you saw that I have zero debt, 3 beautiful homes, happy children that are thriving in the things that they love, and my marriage is better than ever because guess who else isn't getting the brunt of everything? My husband. He doesn't have to work 80 to 90 hours a week because I feel like a lot of times women, they just expect, expect, expect. And we forget, oh gosh, our men have dreams, too. They have dreams. Like, they have things they want to do. And I realized that, like, into this journey, I was like, he has been slaving away for 18 years. He has been providing. He has been doing amazing things. But I can sense there is something missing in his life. And one of the best things I ever did for my children as a mother and why I can proudly say I am a bomb mother, like, I am a good mother. is I brought their father into their life because he was an absentee father. He was gone. But me deciding to do the hard things, to cry in the closet, to get up and do 10 Zooms in one day, to write the book, to write the content, to write the course, because I did that, they know their father. So I just like literally, women, I just want to say, stop hiding behind your children. Your children actually need you to grow. Your children actually need you to go after your dreams. Your children actually need to see you doing something that you never thought you could do. They need to see that because you are sitting there telling them they can do anything that they want to do. But what are you doing? You are not, you are not living what you are preaching. They need to see you live by example. And what you will give them will be so rich and will help them to develop as human beings. And you love your child just as much as a mom that decides not to work. And I have nothing against women that decide not to work. Not, not one is better than the other. They're just different. But ultimately, you have to follow your heart. You have to follow the download, the insight, the prompting, whatever you call it. You have to follow the thing that you know you were supposed to do. And if you don't, you'll live with regret, you'll live with resentment, you'll say, Oh, because I had kids or because I was married or because— no, you just decided not to do it. Decide to do it. It's worth it.

Yes, girl. Decide to do it. And I couldn't agree more about the, you know, your children, they watch everything you do. And I love that, you know, my oldest daughter, she just got accepted into Yale. I'm like, oh my gosh, she's about to go to Connecticut. And my youngest daughter—

Woo-hoo!

I know. She's going to go to med school. And my youngest daughter has her own business. You know, she just turned 13. And there was one day she launched her business and she had boxes of courses actually to ship out. And I was like, I need to learn from you because she is like, just gets on and talks about it and does videos and YouTube. And it's like, that makes me so proud. And I have noticed that when there have been— I've had that, that kind of mom guilt come up, I will talk to her and say, you know, I am gonna miss this time with you, but because I'm working, this is what I get to provide for you. And then she's like, oh, Oh yeah, I'll get a new horse. Okay, go. Yeah, go do that. Go work. Go to work.

Well, and that's, we had to have a lot of conversations about that when I was building my business. Whenever I would get this hint that like there might be, you know, a little bit of complaining or sort of victim mentality, I wouldn't do it in a way of like, now you listen. I'd be like, listen, I just, I want you to understand I'm doing this so that we can have more time together. a family. I am doing this so that we can have a different way of life. And I would, I would have those open conversations and I would lay out the expectations of this is what my day looks like. This is my special time that I set aside for my family. And for any woman, you know, that is working, that is in a relationship or has children, I think that it becomes unhealthy when we don't set aside any special time. And that is when there is a problem. But if they know to expect you between 6 and 8 every night and you're going to be present at dinner and you're going to be present during bedtime and you're going to play a card game or something like that, it's not like everything in your life is about work. But honestly, like, sometimes I get sick in my stomach when people make it look so easy because I'm like, you're a liar. It's not easy. Like, when you have kids, like, there's a lot of sacrifices and there's a lot of things. But the thing that has saved me from feeling really guilty and from them being happier and it being more harmonious in our home is when they know the expectation. This is what the day looks like. This is what the week looks like. This is the special time that we are setting aside. Like this afternoon, we are going to the trampoline park again so I can pee my pants again, like while I jump on the trampoline. Like we are going to the trampoline park and we are going to go to Olive Garden because that is what one of my kids likes. And like, you know, it is like they know. they get mom tonight.

Yeah.

They don't get mom during the day because mom is making the bacon and I am providing them with this great life and they learn how to respect that. Literally, I have this letter on my bathroom counter that my 13-year-old wrote to me about how he doesn't know where he would be in his life without me and how much he loves me and everything that I have taught him. So, you know, if you get these cards or you get these messages or something like, put them up on your bathroom wall, put them up on your computer, like put these little reminders up that you don't suck, mom. Like you're actually pretty much the bomb. You're doing the best you can and just release this notion of perfection and balance. Because when I tried to balance it all and make everything perfect, oh, it was just so suffocating. Instead, I was like, hey, this is a busy week for me. I'm going to be working a lot this week. But every night from this time to this time, we're going to do this. Or on Friday night, we're going to have movie night. We will go to the movies together. So, there was a glimmer of like fun and things that we were going to do together that made the hard work worth it.

That is so important. You know, I am old school. I have my big calendar out here. Like literally, I have it written out. You know, my husband asked me today, he is like, hey, can you run to the bank? I need you to sign something. like, I can't today, but I can tomorrow. Like, and then after that, we can go have fun. You know? But I think it's so important to schedule time in for yourself to get your body moving. Schedule time in. Because I used to not even schedule a lunch break for myself. I would seriously just work straight through. And it didn't change until I actually had a guy I was working with go, wow, you look like a deer staring into headlights. And I was like, oh, I haven't eaten. He's like, why would you not eat? I was like, I've been back-to-back Clients. I haven't had a chance. He's like, would you send your kids to school without food? I'm like, no. He's then like, why would you do that to yourself? And I was like, oh. That changed everything for me. And sometimes you just need to hear it in a different way. Like, you know you need to move your body, but if you look at it as not because of punishment, but as a reward that you get to, that you get to move, that it is going to make you feel more energized. It's going to make you not yell at your kids, be a nicer wife. It makes me much nicer. My family knows it makes, makes me much—

Me too.

Yeah. You've done a lot of healing with your body, with your gut, and you discovered something called Plexus that you introduced me to. And I just wanted to talk about this a little bit because I'm new to it and everybody who's tried it loves it. And I wanted to share with you that my husband's drinking it now. And he does not try— he doesn't try anything new at all. He is like so old school. This is what I do. This is what I take. And, um, he had drank all of them. And I was like— he goes, oh man, we're out of that. Do you have any more? And I'm like, yeah, I've got some more. And he goes, okay, where is it? Where is it? So he's drinking those now.

Wow.

And actually, look, Aloha, this is the water bottle you gave me.

Yes.

And I'm drinking it.

But I love it. Yes, shout out to Aloha Exchange. They're this great little company on Kauai that makes really rad stuff.

It's my favorite. I love it. I always have it on my desk. When you let me try this, I had no idea what it was, and I only drank it because I know of your background. And I, I don't take anything. I don't I don't usually drink any supplemental drinks, anything like that. But because you sent it to me, I was like, oh, if that's what Brooke drinks, then I'm going to drink it. But I tried it. I never would have tried it. I tried it and I really liked it. So I was like, hey.

Yeah. I think Tiffany's drinking Kool-Aid now.

Yeah. Tiffany is too?

Oh yeah. You guys both love it. So, so listen, I come from the old school train of thought as well. So in my training as a kinesiologist and a fitness trainer and all these things, like what I was fed was that supplements are not necessary, that it's just calories in, calories out. That's all that matters. That's the biggest bunch of hogwash ever. Like it's really so, so wrong. And I, I am going to just say right now, my husband has a health podcast. It's strictly health. It's called Modern Medicine Movement. He's a physician with a natural background. He studies health and nutrition and supplements and the truth about things. So if you want to learn more about gut health, you want to learn more about metabolism, you want to learn the truth about supplementation and stuff, you can go check that out. But I learned about this 5 and a half years ago because I did have that history of anxiety, depression. I was exhausted. I had digestive issues. I couldn't sleep well at night, couldn't fall asleep, couldn't stay asleep. And I was like, what the heck is wrong with me? because I was that person that everyone thought was healthy. I looked healthy. I had great muscle tone. I wasn't overweight. My skin was great. Like, people would look at me as the picture of health, and I was like, well, you don't know that I'm like super sad all the time and that I'm like living off of caffeine and I'm yelling at my kids and I can't sleep at night and I'm bloated all the time. And like all these things are going wrong. And I was super, super skeptical and anti-supplements. So I think it's hilarious that this is a part of my business portfolio. It's one of the things that I do is I help people find the right supplements for their body. And it is mainly a focus on gut health, blood sugar balance, and insulin resistance, like fixing insulin resistance issues, which 88% of the population has insulin resistance issues. That's a big problem, especially for women with our hormones, especially for weight issues. for mood issues, for— gosh, I could go through the whole laundry list of things that gut health and insulin resistance are related to, as well as inflammation. And so when I started, I did notice really positive changes. And it was because it focuses on the root causes of what makes us sick. So for me, coming from the background of being a nurse and being in fitness and stuff, I was like, this just makes sense. Like, it just totally makes sense. And I was flabbergasted at how I felt after living my life, how I had experienced my life. And I felt like I had woken up. And if you go to my Instagram, like, you'll see one of the things it says is I help people live awake. I feel like the first thing that we have to do is we have to take care of people's basic human needs. And like, your physical needs are basic. And if physically you feel like you're falling apart, and you know this because you've struggled with chronic pain and you have struggled with other physical things. Like, if your physical body is always operating subpar, how do you feel emotionally?

Oh, everything goes hand in hand. It goes hand in hand for sure.

It all goes hand in hand. So, it was like, listen, I need to get a hold of my physical issues. Then that helped with my emotional issues. Overall, just over the last 5 years, when I look at where I was and where I am now, I am like, I am going on 43. I'm the healthiest I've ever been. I've always exercised, but this is like a whole nother next level. And I just love it because it's not a fad type thing. It really is about balancing your body, gut health, hormones, inflammation, all that stuff. And then I decided to make a business of it. And like I said, when I go all in—

because of you.

Yeah. And I'm going in it, right? When I go all in, I go all in. But I I feel like, well, and it's so cool that you've been open to it, and I have a lot of physicians and nurses and other trainers and people that are in the industry of helping people live a better life that do this with me because we understand, listen, how can you expect more out of somebody when they literally just don't even have the energy to get up and move, or when their gut is so off that they cannot stay away from the chocolate cake and they go buy it and they have 10 pieces by the end of the day. That used to be me, you guys. So, we know what we need to do, but it is like sometimes our body is sending a different message to the brain. So, I have totally gone all in with this, and this is something that I do that has given our family incredible freedom, and it also opened up the door for me to do other things. things because I love to help people live awake. As I have gone through this transformation of physically and emotionally healing myself, I realized that there were so many limiting beliefs and so many thoughts and feelings and destructive habits and behaviors and thoughts that were really bringing me down and ruining and destroying my happiness. So, I created A LINE because as I was waking up and learning, I was like, oh my gosh, I need to teach people these tools. I need to gather together incredible people like Amberly and Tiffany and Trent and Shaleen and these people that were there in January. Like, I need to gather these people together and we need to let them in on this secret. We need to help people to live more fully, help people to live their life without so many fears and limitations. And it is like, literally, I know I have told you this, Amberly, but I love, I did this post on Instagram yesterday where I was like, I had my like happy surprise.

I know. I love it.

I am obsessed with helping people realize their potential. You know, maybe that goes hand in hand with my gut health business, or maybe it goes hand in hand with my business coaching or events that I do. But I think because I was in such a thick fog for such a long time, like I just feel like, listen, it doesn't have to be that way. Like you don't have to live that way. You don't have to physically and emotionally suffer. You don't have to suffer in your bank account. You don't have to suffer with these cyclical thoughts that are just thoughts. They're not the truth. Feelings aren't facts, right?

Right.

You don't have to suffer with these things. You can live awake and realize your full potential. So through coaching, I get to help people kind of unlock their potential, whether it's in network marketing or other things. And I love helping people, women, especially moms. I mean, if you don't have kids, I also work with people that don't have kids, but I love helping women make a lot of money. Like, to be honest, I just love it because I know when you put money into the hands of women, we change the world.

Yeah.

Like we literally change the world. We change our families. And then we go out because we have this bigger vision for how we want to impact the world and how we want to change the world. And so I'm like, how can we help you to be more successful? How can we help you to grow your business? How can we help you to do all of that without losing it all? Because I believe you can have it all without losing it all. I have proven that with myself. I have a happier, more vibrant marriage than we have ever had in 23 years. We are more in love with each other than we have ever been. We have happy, healthy, accomplished children. My body is healthy. My mind is healthy. My bank account is healthy, and I haven't literally dropped a grenade in my life because you don't have to do that. You don't have to do that. So that's like, that's where like this, you know, all my gut health stuff is like the foundation is kind of like the bricks. But like there's these 3 other businesses that I have that have shot off from that because I feel like I have a bigger message that I specifically want women to hear. And I want women with children to hear and I want women of faith with children to hear that, listen, you are so gifted. You are so powerful. You have so much to give the world and you have so many hidden talents and you got to stop hiding behind your limitations because the world needs you.

Angie, it's never too late. I mean, you started, you know, you were what, how old? 40, you said?

I was 38 when I started my coaching business.

Oh my gosh. Okay. So I was 38 when I had my motorcycle accident and I had this booming career. And then I was like 42 when I started my new business. And so if I can start at 42 something completely new, then, you know, if you're listening to this, it's never too late. You don't, it's not about your title. It's not about how much money you make. It's really about grit. But it's also about giving yourself the grace on the way, the whole way through, the grace, even, you know, especially if you're a mom. But I just love what you're doing, Brooke, whether it's with your coaching retreats. I'm so grateful to be a part of the mastermind that you have put together. And is there going to be another Align Resilience coming up? In person, maybe?

Yeah. So I am hoping to do in person. In January is when we do our big event. So we had a live one in 2020, right before the world shut down, in January in Palm Springs. And we were supposed to do it live in Palm Springs again, but we went to virtual and we had a great turnout virtually. But I am hoping and praying that we can go live because Amberly's witnessed it. I like my music. I like my dance moves. I am I bring the energy. I, I'm like a hype squad bundled up in like a 5'1 frame. But I, you know, I want to bring that to people live. So I'm hoping— Are you 5'1?

You're 5'1?

Yeah.

Do you know all this time, because we've never met in person, I think it's because your personality is so big, I thought you were a lot taller than 5'1.

People always say that to me.

I had no idea.

I am a little half pint. I am a small person, but I have a huge heart, huge energy, huge drive, tons of grit. And thankfully, over the last 5 years, I have learned to give myself grace as well. So hopefully we will go live and I would love to see, I know if we get to do it live, you have got to be there. You are going to come and you are going to be a keynote I want to dance with you.

I'm like dying for that. Yes. Oh my gosh. It would be so much fun. And your events are so much fun. You make it so much fun. I seriously, I'm going to say I've never been a part of an event that's so much fun. And I think it's too, it's because the people that you attract into your life are all so heart-centered. And then the speakers that you had speak are so fun and heart-centered and have faith. And so there's this whole vibe that it gives. And it was, it was magical. It was amazing.

I know. Yeah, I know that one of the things I'm meant to do is just gather people in. I sort of feel like this, like mother hen, you know, like no matter what your faith is, or if you have kids or not, like I I have all different kinds of people that are attracted. And I feel like it's that just people are attracted to the people I bring together. People like you, Tiffany Trent, Shalene, Chad, Clint, like these different people that were there in January. People want real. They want heart-centered. They don't want perfection. They want to be in a room with people that are striving, people that are, you know, big dreamers, believers. And those Those people come from all over. And that's just the kind of tribe that I want to have is I really do want us all to collectively increase our faith and belief in what is possible and to believe in the possibilities. That's what I fight for every single day. One of my favorite songs is The Fighter. And I just, I just love that song because it talks about lasting 30 rounds and getting knocked down and cut up and bruised and And all the things that happen like as an entrepreneur, as a parent, or whatever you're going through in your life is like, listen, you can knock me down, but you can't keep me down. And that's what I want people to know is you can be knocked down over and over and over again, but you get to decide if you stay down. And, you know, Amberly and I, like we both are like, yeah, we're getting back up. Like nothing's keeping us down. You know?

Heck yeah. Well, where can people find you if they want to be part of one of your retreats or they want to do coaching with you or they want to go to your next event, where can people find you?

So on Instagram @HemingwayHalfDozen, which is perfect because I've got a half dozen kids. So that's easy to find me there. And then my website is brooke-hemingway.com or Facebook Brooke Hemingway. Whichever place you tend to hang out, just follow me there. That's the best way to kind of keep up. I'm pretty active on all those platforms, posting regularly, as are you. And so I'd love to connect and talk about any of these things or just support you and cheer you on in your journey. I think, Amberly, that's one of the things I appreciate the most about you, and I think your audience does as well, is that you sincerely care about people. You cheer people on. It's not about like, oh, you've got to buy something from me or you've got to do something with me. Like, I sincerely just want to be that person that cheers people on. And supports people and encourages people. So yeah, I hope, I hope to find you there over on social.

Yeah, you guys have to check her Instagram out, Hemingway Half Dozen, because you will be motivated either to move your body, get up and dance, or go pee your pants on a trampoline. So go check her out. Thank you so much for being here. I love you. And we've been trying, we've been We've been trying to schedule some time together to get on the show for a long time. So I just really appreciate you taking the time to be here and so much that you shared and your beautiful heart. So thank you so much.

Thank you so much. I love you, friends.

Love you. Thanks so much for joining us this week on True Grit and Grace Podcast. If you like it, please rate it or share it with your friends. That would help too. If you're not yet on the newsletter list, come over to AmberlyLago.com and jump on it. While you're there, you can grab a free downloadable gratitude journal, and you might just want to check out my book or even check out my monthly motivational membership. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next week.