A Mom's Truth: The Power of Delegating and Ditching the "Poor Me" Mentality

Welcome back to the Infinite Gold Podcast. This is your show host Bree taking over the mic on today's episode. And before I get into things, if you're new to the show If you're new to listening, welcome. We're happy to have you here. And if you've been listening to us for a little while, thank you for coming back. Thanks for listening. And if you like the show, share the show. If you think this could be beneficial or help somebody else that you know, or help you, help, you know, help somebody that you know could benefit from the topics that we discuss here on the Infinite Gold Podcast, please share it. We just want to educate people. We want to give some insights, share some life experiences, share some tools and tactics that helped us along our journeys and that could potentially help you someday too. So if you like the show, share the show. All right, I'm gonna dive right into it. Uh, today I wanted to talk a little bit about moms and entrepreneurship. Um, as a mompreneur— if you haven't put those two together, it's a mom and an entrepreneur all in one. Uh, you could say it's a unicorn, uh, being a mom is one of the most challenging jobs, I think, in the world, but the best job in the world, I can say. And I know all moms can raise their hand on this one and, and agree with me. Uh, now being a mom and an entrepreneur is a whole other ball game. Being an entrepreneur, for one, uh, without kids is already challenging enough, and, uh, it's not for the weak. And so putting, you know, motherhood plus entrepreneurship rolled into one, it can be kind of hectic at times. Um, a lot of times actually, if I'm being completely honest, it's really, it's really, it proves what you're willing to sacrifice And what you're willing to work hard for. Entrepreneurship plus motherhood, um, building a bu— building a business has been one of the things that I've worked. I feel like I've worked the hardest for alongside motherhood, like work, being the best mom that I can be and raising my kids up right. It's a tough job, but I take a lot of pride in it. And I know a lot of moms out there do too, but building a business and, and stepping into the entrepreneurial space. Has been a complete whirlwind all in one, and it's really tested my limits and at times made me question literally everything. Why am I here? What am I doing? Is this the right thing that I'm supposed to be doing? Am I supposed to be here right now? What's going on? And if you're, if you're thinking those things too, at least for me, the answer is yes. Yes, I know I'm in the right place at the right time with the right people doing the right things, meeting the right people, having that conversation, making that decision, that choice, all compiling, compiling those things into one. And you realize like, okay, this is all for the bigger picture. This is all for the greater good. This is all for what I'm working towards. And right now it might not seem like you're ever gonna get there because The road is rough. It's not easy. It's not meant to be easy because if it was, it's that saying, everyone would be doing it. You are not everyone. You are special. You are different. Whatever it is that you're doing, you are meant to be doing it. God put us all on this earth to fulfill our destinies. And I know some people out there may not know what that destiny is just yet, but hopefully I can be one of those people to help you find that and help you see your true potential. That's my biggest goal here, uh, in life is I wanna help as many women, as many mothers as humanly possible figure out their, their true, find their true potential, see their true potential and help them navigate through their mindset struggles and or their burnout struggles. You get both of those things in motherhood and entrepreneurship and some days It's a one day, one thing at a time. And in that process, you have to learn to give yourself some grace. Know that when you're tackling these milestones and these actionable steps to achieve your goals, you have to give yourself a pat on the back. You have to clap for yourself because trying to rely on anybody else to do that for you, well, it's probably not going to happen more often than not. And the people that you think that are out there supporting you, chances are they're not. I know this is starting to sound a little bit negative or, uh, gloomy, but it's, it's kind of the honest truth. Until you find like your, your true, your true circle, your true people that are on the same frequency and on the same, uh, energy levels as you and growth-minded and genuinely root for you and want you to win. The more you surround yourself with those people, the better off you'll be. You are going to win and you are going to be more likely to achieve those goals because you're going to have them backing you and have them supporting you. But I think number one of all with that is be your own biggest fan, not your biggest critic. I used to say that about myself. How I'm, I'm always my biggest critic. No, I, I was, I was inspired by this new statement that, um, good friend of mine, Bernard Kissingbing, call him B, he, uh, he told me, he's like, no, he's like, I'm my biggest fan, Bri, be your biggest fan. I'm like, why didn't I think of that? Why didn't I think of that? So Be your biggest fan. Clap for yourself because you can't rely on everybody else to clap for you. You have to clap for yourself. You have to believe in yourself and really know, you know, and raise your awareness. How do I talk to myself? What's my mindset like? Am I feeding it good, positive, and optimistic things? Am I listening to audiobooks? Am I connecting with the right people? Bits and pieces like that. But what do you tell yourself? A big thing that I learned, and I've shared this multiple times, and I'm going to keep on sharing it because I fully believe in it. Sharon Lecter shared this with me. Your thoughts become your words, and your words become your actions. So it's like, what do you tell yourself? What comes out of your mouth? And what do your actions look like? If you think that you can do something, yeah, you can do it. But if you mentally tell yourself, no, I can't do this, or oh, not now, well then it's not going to happen. You're not going to be able to do it, and it's not— you're not going to do whatever it is you think you want to do or you say you're going to do. Our brains are so incredibly powerful, and we don't do enough work on them. The mind is a wild, wild thing. And the amount of work that I've done on my mindset has been absolutely astonishing. And I thought for the most part that I was always a really positive person and happy-go-lucky. And I think I am, I am, and I was, but there were a lot of doubtful thoughts that crossed my mind in life that now I don't even think twice. About thinking negatively about whatever it was that I thought way back when, thinking that I wasn't capable of building a business, that I wasn't capable of building a business and being a mom and running my household. The thing with it is it's a delicate dance, and remembering that if I can take control of my mindset, I can take control of my life. Because the one thing that we can control is ourselves. We get to control our thoughts, we get to control our words, we get to control our actions, and we get to control how we're going to live our lives. Now, you may be like, well, Bree, I just, I don't have time to do this, or I don't have time to do that, or I don't have the money to do this, or I don't know where to start. Okay. I get it. I was there. I felt that biggest reason I dove into my mindset, which led me into my personal growth, was going through postpartum with my daughter. Um, she's my second and boy, did it change my life. Boy, did it change my life. There were a lot of things that I didn't think I could do before until I really put my mind to it and realized, girl, you got to give yourself some more credit. You gotta give yourself more credit. Pat yourself on the back. You are more capable and you have more potential than you realize. And it's funny because Anthony says to me sometimes, he's like, babe, I really wish you could see you the way I see you. And every time he said that, it's just like, it's made me emotional because I'm like, damn, there is more than I, than on, on this that he can see that I, I need to be able to see, but I just wasn't there yet. And slowly but surely I'm seeing more and more and I'm like, wow, okay, cool. And what that does is it's, when you start believing in yourself and you start, uh, achieving those milestones that you set for yourself, you're boosting your confidence. And when you start boosting your confidence, you start really feeling like you can do anything. And that's a, that almost feels like. Bulletproof in a way. Um, I don't know, feel like I'm going in circles, but I think I'm just, um, I'm in awe of where I started versus where I am now. I never imagined I would be pairing motherhood with entrepreneurship and finding that delicate dance and finding that calm in the chaos. It's insane. But what's helped me get through all of that is, is, is setting a schedule and having plans in place, setting my goals, lining up actionable steps that I have to take to achieve those bigger goals. And part of it has been with starting with one more conversation, one more decision in the right direction, one more live video on, on your Instagram, just one more, doing one more of anything that you think that you can't do, changing it. I challenge you, start saying, yeah, I can. And what I've learned in this process too is, because a lot of people with being on the internet and being on podcasts, what have you, they worry a lot about what people think of them. And the only opinion that matters of you is your own. No one else's, because you're the one who lives your life and gets to make the decisions in your life, and you get to decide the trajectory of where your life is going. It's on you. So don't play the poor me card. You get to make the decisions. You get to make the choices. Whatever is in your control, you can control. And if something doesn't work out, then it wasn't meant to be. Then you move on. Then you keep going. Don't stop. Don't let the defeat take over. Life knocks you down, get the fuck back up. One thing I want to share that has recently been a shift and helped me navigate better through this mom— mompreneur, uh, journey that I'm on is delegating tasks. And/or jobs. So going from stay-at-home mom to entrepreneur, now I'm doing both. Having the kids all day every day is a lot, and you don't get to accomplish much because they're needing your attention 24/7. So what I've had to do is set my kids up with daycare, send them over to grandma's house, have one of the other grandparents take over and, and take care of the kids. That way I can have some me time, and that way I can get some work done. And it's already It hasn't been very long since I've put this daycare piece in place, but it has been so incredibly helpful. And oh my gosh, now, like before I was worried about sending them off to daycare, like, I'm not going to have them for the full day or for the full 2 days. This is bonkers. Like, you go from having them 24/7. To giving, giving them up a couple times a week so that way you can do you and so you can handle business or what have you, whatever it is that you want to do, whatever it is that you need to get done. I now look forward to that and not, not because I'm looking forward to getting away from my kids, but it's more so I'm looking forward to having some me time and getting to do my work and do things that make me happy, that fulfill me, that fill my cup and re-energize me and recharge me. Working out, coaching women, having an iced coffee, having a quiet meal, maybe even a hot meal to myself. Um, I now look forward to those days that I send the kids to daycare because that, that, uh, that job of taking care of— having someone else take care of the kids has been so incredibly helpful for me. And another thing is like, okay, you know, there's lots of laundry, there's lots of dishes, the house needs to be cleaned. Okay, I hired a maid. She comes and cleans my house about once a month, does all the things. And next we're gonna probably be hiring somebody to do some laundry because the laundry is never freaking ending. And part of also like what I'm getting at with delegating some of these jobs is This is how you maximize your time when you've got a lot of shit to get done as an entrepreneur and as a mom. Like, there's a lot, there's a lot that has to get done. There's a lot of shit that has to get across the finish line, or things are not going to make it and you're not going to get where you need to be if you can't get those things done. So delegating those jobs has been a big deal, has been pivotal for me, and if there's any moms out there that are struggling and you feel like you're drowning because you've got a lot on your plate and you're like, I don't know where to start next, I feel like I'm burnt out— number one, delegate those jobs, delegate those things where you can and get the help where you can. As, as hard as it might feel to give up some of your mom power and hand your kids over so that way you can have you time and you can handle business stuff, It will make you feel so much better. You're gonna show up a better mom, a better person, a better wife, what have you. You're just gonna show up better because you get to have that you time. Hiring the maid and hiring somebody to do your laundry, getting that stuff out of the way so that way you don't have to do that. That way you can maximize your time and focus, put it in focus where the focus is necessary and needed to be handled. Do that. Hire out for your help. So you can maximize your time and you can achieve those things in a shorter amount of time rather than it taking longer. So if there's something that you, that if you didn't delegate those jobs, it takes you 3 months. You have somebody to take care of those jobs now. You have that help. Well, maybe you get it done in a month, month and a half, maybe shorter. That could be a poor timeline, uh, guess, but nonetheless, it's a timeline and a guess. And bottom line, you delegate those jobs, you're maximizing your time, and now you get more time for yourself, more time to pour into your business, and more time to fill your cup. Wanted to touch on burnout too while I'm here. I know a lot of moms feel this. I've felt this. I feel this. You feel burnt out when you say yes to everything. And when I mean yes to everything, you're saying yes to things that you don't actually want to do. So when you start saying yes to things that you actually want to do, things that you actually want to put your time into, your energy into, You're not going to feel burnt out because you wanted to, you want to do those things and those things make you happy and those things help move the needle. Those things fulfill you. So make sure what you're saying yes to is things that you actually want and then you will not get burnt out. Just to touch on that. We'll dive, we can dive more into that another time, but I wanted to touch on that because Recently, I feel like I've, uh, reflected on the times that I did feel really burnt out. And I've also heard from a lot of other moms like, God, I just feel so burnt out. Like I'm, I'm running on empty. Sis, you don't need to run on empty anymore. So that was a little bit about what I wanted to share on the burnout, the mindset, being a mompreneur, just being a mom in general. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I know I did, and there's a lot of good stuff that I, I really wanted to share that I think moms and mompreneurs out there needed to hear. And hopefully just one person has something to take from this and maybe gives them something to think about, gets their wheels turning. Maybe they get inspired by something. I hope, I hope that somebody gets that from this. And if you do, I mean, let me know, let me know that I'm doing something right here. Let me know that I inspired you or that I helped you in some way, shape, or form so I can continue to do it and so I can share more, maybe something else that you need. Anyways, happy Friday, y'all. Have an amazing weekend, and we'll talk to you soon. If you like the show, share this— share the show.