Beyond Barriers: Transforming Your Mindset

All right, welcome back to the Infinite Gold Podcast. Today, your show host, Ray Goldner, flying solo. All right guys, we're diving into a little bit of the personal pillar of the Infinity Model. And I wanted to kind of go and dive into getting out of your own head. I experienced being in my own head for a long, long time. And it was up until I learned to gain control of my mindset that really helped me shift and helped me get out of being trapped in my own head with my own thoughts, good and bad. And I think for the most part, I'm a pretty optimistic individual, and I lean more towards thinking positively than I do negatively. However, I know it is in our nature as humans for us to immediately think the absolute worst of situations. So for me, so I just came out of the Kappa Club retreat, our very first one, our sisterhood retreat, and I thought I was going to have a lot to emotionally outpour and dump off going into this event, but I didn't have as much as I thought I would, uh, let alone as much emotional outpouring with like the tears and everything. I think it was just an overwhelming feeling overall going in, but it's because I have done so much work personally leading up to now that I didn't have as much crap to let go of. And since being back, it's— it'll be a week tomorrow since the Kappa woman retreat, I'm sorry, that we've been back. And I had some things to process and things that weren't really landing for me and processing with me until the last couple of days that had been actually really hard. And again, this was the part where I was in my own head and I had some old pieces of me that I was holding on to and that I have been holding on to for a really long time. So this exercise that we did was basically writing a letter to yourself. And you might have seen on social media where there's a mom who shares a reel going to coffee with my younger self. So it was from that standpoint that I wrote. And at first it took me a while to think about who I want, which part of me, younger self of me that I wanted to go back and write to. And finally I said, okay, you know what? We'll go back to 18-year-old Bri, fresh out of high school and into college, and we'll see where that takes us. And it was at the point when I started to addressing the part of my letter from the now almost 33-year-old Bree, when I got emotional. That's when my heartstrings were being pulled. Tears started to flood my eyes, and it was the triggering point of realizing how much time has passed. And how quickly time has gone by and feeling like those years leading up to now, I felt like I wasn't 100% present like I am today. I learned that along the way, just over the last 2 days, it really started to sink in for me that I was holding on to the 20-something-year-old Bree where I was still single, not married, no kids. My time was my time. I was free to do whatever I wanted when I wanted, and that's not true today. My time is no longer my time, and I had to let go of the old Brie. I had to let that part of Brie die so I could carry on as the new Brie and could move forward as the new Brie. And continue to grow and evolve and build the life that I'm building. That was really hard for me to let go of the old Bree. And I think it finally sunk in today, uh, that the old me and my old ways do not, do not serve me any longer. While I was in my 20s, it was fly by the seat of your own pants and can up and run off and do a weekend trip in San Diego or a weekend trip in Vegas and not have to worry about anybody else and taking care of anyone else but myself. It's no longer that. I'm a mother first and foremost and a wife and a business owner. And I've got a lot more responsibilities now. And it's— life has panned out to what it is today. And it is so much more. Than I ever imagined it would be. It is so much more fulfilling. I am so incredibly happy with where I ended up, and I can only imagine where I'm going to be 5 years from now, 10 years from now. And I get to constantly look back just to see the progress that I've made, where I started, where I'm at, and how much I've grown and how all the hard work and the intentionality of the choices that I make and how it's affected my journey. Really struggled at some point, and I think I still do. You know, it's playing those crappy movies in your head. And then I have to ask myself, what made-up story are you telling yourself? Where you think you're supposed to be, or when you think you were supposed to start, or where you think you were meant to be, where you were needed and necessary. I learned, you know, what my original dream and my original thought of the direction of my life and where it was going at 18 years old, thinking I had it all figured out. I was so wrong about that. I think a lot of people can contest, you know, that in their own lives, they're just like, wow, I'm in a way different place than I thought I would be. And I I get to sit back right now and be like, wow, life is way better than I thought it would imagine— what I originally imagined. Like, I knew life was going to be great because I try to make the best of every situation, every choice that I make and what I do in life. And it is so much more. It is so much more than that. And I think surrounding myself with the right people really helped me see that and really helped me get there. And just the choices that I've made and being consistent and being intentional and actually doing the work, um, can honestly say that this is the hardest I think I've ever had to work for something my entire life. And the fact that all this hard work has been absolutely worth it— it is just me scratching the surface, it is just the beginning, and learning how all of the toughness that I've gone to leading up today, all the tears that I've shed kind of going through all this, it's, it's only to build me up and to help me get stronger. And along the way, it's allowed me to show up for others and show up to help the ones that need my vulnerabilities that I've shared to help them become vulnerable in their own state and to unlock different levels of their emotions, of their mindset, and to help them understand their— I guess you could say more of their own being and who they are and why they do what they do or why they think the way that they think. And kind of teaching everybody that nothing is permanent. If you have a crap mindset right now, I'm here to tell you that's not permanent. That is something you can change. It's a lot of work, but it's worth it. And I promise, when you start diving in and you start getting intentional with working on the way that you think, things are going to change for you. So something that I learned from an incredible woman named Sharon Lecter— if you've ever heard of her, she's pretty cool. Google her, check her out. She taught me that your thoughts become your words and your words become your actions. Ever since she said that and taught me that, it's really landed and it's really made me become more intentional with how I think. And it has taught me to talk more positively to myself, even if I'm joking about like something negative or if I mess up and, you know, and we're like, oh my gosh, you're so stupid. No, don't say that. Don't say that because your body doesn't know the difference between a negative thought and a positive thought. So why not say all the positive things to yourself? Like, I'm a badass. I'm good at what I do. I'm an amazing mother. I'm an amazing wife. I'm a good friend. You know, those kinds of things. Like, I can do anything that I want. I just have to work hard for it. I can do it. If I can dream it, I can do it. And believing those things. When you start believing in the thoughts that you have, those thoughts become your words, and you start actually verbally expressing your positivity, your optimism. When you start shedding the light on the positive and start shedding the light on the good things, it impacts everyone around you. People will notice it differently, especially if that used to not be like you. If you shifted your mindset from, you know, being kind of like in a shit mood all the time to a more positive one where you just have a different outlook on life and you see things a little bit differently than you used to, all because you opened up your your scope, opened up your view. You now have perspective and kind of seeing things at different levels and seeing things in a more, I guess, not just positive, but in a more optimistic view. Or, you know, like if, you know, you're on this journey, you're working towards something, but, you know, we all get those curveballs or what people view as obstacles and A lot of people view obstacles as a stop sign when really, you know, if you shift your mindset, you learn to view those, the, those obstacles as opportunities. When you view those obstacles as opportunities, things change significantly. I— it's, it's a difference that I've noticed in my mindset shift because before I used to be one of those people that looked at obstacles as stop signs, and I used to think you know, okay, well, it's game over in this process. This wasn't meant for me. I'm not supposed to, you know, this isn't working out. I should try something else, this, that, and the other. Now, now because of the shift that I've made, the work that I've done and the intentions that I have made with improving my mindset and improving the way that I think and being more open to seeing through a wider lens has changed my life significantly. It's allowed me to see the opportunity behind what is the said obstacle. And now it's crazy. Now I look for the tough things on the journey. I look for the stuff that's going to quote unquote piss me off or frustrate me, because then it's forcing me to get outside of my comfort zone again and forces me to work through and work past whatever this said obstacle is. And It only makes me stronger. It only builds me up and helps me get further along in my journey and gets me more comfortable with dealing with whatever the problem is. And looking again, looking at it differently. It's, I've learned it's a lot about perspective and I used to not see things that way, you know? So now when I look forward to those things, I'm like, okay, this is an opportunity for me to grow. I'm super stoked. Like, Hey, where's, where's the shit sandwich? I'm waiting for it. Here I am, you know, and then I'm just like, okay, well, how do I, how do I deal with this? You know, how can I do this? Not, oh, I can't do this. That's, that was the point of changing my thoughts and my words is how am I going to do this? How am I going to get through this? It used to be like, what the fuck? Like, you know, I can't do this. That's impossible. That was a limiting belief. That was a limiting And the opposite of a growth mindset. And now I know that I have the growth mindset because now that I can look at things differently, it's, it's a huge shift. If there's anybody out there that is struggling with shifting their mindset and thinks that it's permanent, again, reminding you that it's not, it's not permanent. Okay. That's a temporary, it's a momentary thing, whatever it is that you're going through. I encourage you to analyze it on a deeper level and under— like, try to figure out why you're giving whatever this thing is that's causing you so much stress, why are you giving it so much meaning? Because when you give it meaning and you give it a label, there's so much more emotion that gets pushed behind that. And you can, you can get past that. You just have to start shifting your thoughts. Uh, it doesn't mean you have to go straight to the positive. Go to a more optimistic. That way you can kind of see things on both ends of the spectrum, and then it allows you to think a little bit more deeply. I'm just so excited, like, that to share, you know, really like everything, how I got past a lot of this stuff that I know people are running into, like feeling like it's a complete roadblock, and knowing that if I can get past it, so can you. And for any of the moms out there listening, I know you know the feeling I dealt with postpartum depression after having my second baby. I had a daughter with my first and had my son. I didn't deal with that then. I— it hit me after I had my daughter, and I think it was just the overflow and over the— yeah, the overflow of the female, female hormones after having her that really got to me. And it was hard, and that was when I made the biggest shift. And that's helped me tremendously get past all of that. And our mental health is so incredibly important, and it really affects the way that we live and do things in life because of the way that we're seeing things. So give yourself a chance and take the leap of faith and start doing the work on yourself. Start working on your mindset, because I tell you what, as soon as you start taking control of your mindset, you can start taking control of your life. And that to me right there, you're fucking winning. Excuse me, I'm trying not to curse as much as I can so I don't get cut off here, but it's something I'm passionate about really. As soon as I took control of my mindset, I changed my life. And that's not an exaggeration, not even a little bit. So if you liked what you heard today, if you want to hear some more, if there's something else that you want me to touch on on another episode, if you have questions, questions, please drop me an email, uh, comment on our post. I'll attach all the links at the end of the podcast, and that way you have access. All right, toodles everybody! Hope you have a fabulous weekend. Love you all more.